<&>Wellington Corpus of Spoken New Zealand English Version One <&>Copyright 1998 School of Linguistics & Applied Language Studies <&>Victoria University of Wellington <&>side one <&>0:06 so anyway um i'm going to phone him tonight cos um i just phone every second <.>s well no every couple of days <{><[>word <[>where are you going to which song are you going to request well i don't <.>kn yeah cos i don't know much music i don't really know any songs <.>ring ring so i kind of say roger i'm in a really BAD mood so play a bad mood song for me so he does oh how very sweet how long is it since he <.>was he was married um i think it must be about two years cos i think he must <.>have he told me that he was married for five years so i think it must have been when <.>scott when she was going to have the baby so i'd say <{><[>word there <[>word yeah oh <{><[>how to make you sad <[>three years <{><[>sad? <[>word <.>h well i think it is i think divorce is yeah it hurts people he's really attached to his children yeah that's what really hurts i couldn't stand <&>1:00 that to have children then like <{><[>having them taken off me i'd <.>just i'd go crazy <[>mm mm <{1><[1>i think you would actually particularly if you're a woman um tut although i don't <.>kn i mean i think it's <{2><[2><.>quite <[1>word <[2>it hurts everyone yeah but probably the children as well exactly i don't know i think children are very flexible i think <.>they they learn <.>to to live with whatever they've got <.>qu <{1><[1><.>ava i mean people they learn that's normal i mean it's only people that come from <.>strictly i mean some nuclear families can be more destructive <{2><[2>and harmful <[1>mm <[2>you know yeah yeah mm than just <.>one inhales particularly if both of them like really give quality time when they've got <{><[>their children <[>yeah do you want to hear about my current moan yes about my parents tell me well my parents went to london and that was just fine just fine <{1><[1>you know we didn't really need to hear them celebrating about having <{2><[2>no word children any more but that was a bit hurtful <[1>yeah mm <[2>oh word yeah but um they were going to go to london for a year and then they were going to come back and then they were you know going to <&>2:00 <.>s consider what to do and they were going to come back for christmas and it was going to be like the first family christmas for FIVE years <{><[>it was going to be this big major deal <[>mm mm and we were actually all going to be in the same CITY mm let alone the same COUNTRY and um then i heard via via my three sisters sort of i <.>didn't they didn't even ring to tell me or even write to me or anything um to say that um they're actually coming home for two weeks and then they're going to go and live in frankfurt for three years oh my god and i was really really angry and really hurt about that because they hadn't sort of bothered to ring and tell <{><[>you <[>tell me but then <.>i it was it was quite odd and um i sort of i got over that a lot and <{1><[1>decided that it was really hurtful <{2><[2>but um but <[1>mm <[2>mm tut i <.>think do you have <.>a <.>m maria pointed out to me you're not being breastfed any more <{><[>word <[>yeah but i mean still do you have a big relationship with them do you no i have a <.>terrible well i get <&>3:00 on well with them but they're <.>just it's not a <.>real and do they get on well with <{><[>each other <[>feeling oh yes that's the thing um i just don't think they really wanted children tut i think a lot of people don't like you know when you grow up you're expected to be perfect husband perfect wife and mother and father at the same <{1><[1>time and i think people are either a parent <{2><[2>like permanently or else they're tut er a spouse a husband or wife i mean <[1>yeah <[2>mm oh my parents didn't get on very well but they um they both loved being mummy and daddy you know <{1><[1>they they hated husband and wife shit but um they both really liked being um parents <{2><[2>word <[1><.>seri <.>se <[2>i'm sure the problem is that my father's so selfish that like mum made up for it by being incredibly unselfish and by giving everything <{1><[1>and like now she resents the sacrifices she's <{2><[2>made so it means that she's now like saying that's all over and she's <{3><[3>like withdrawing financial support was fine but <{4><[4>like she's withdrawn all support <[1>mm <[2>mm <[3>mm word <[4>yeah yeah i don't know do you still get on with your parents <&>4:00 um tut well i only have one parent these days <{><[>my father died when i was fifteen <[>oh oh which wasn't actually as long as it feels but never mind um tut so no the thing was oh god he married when he was thirty five a confirmed bachelor type of thing and mum was um eleven years younger and er he i think he basically really dominated her because he was from the older generation that um that felt the wife should be in the kitchen i mean it <{1><[1>started their marriage like if he had visitors he used to send her out of the room type of thing tut so um yeah so they both really got into the parenting thing and they um really loved it but mum always felt very upset that she was never encouraged to go further at school so when he died she decided that she'd like to go back to <.>u er polytech to get a degree so she went and moved us up to new plymouth and went to polytech for two years and got a business um degree i think and then now <&>5:00 she's managing a music shop <{2><[2>so she's really happy but i mean we've always been close but we run up inCREDIBLE toll bills we probably phone each other three or four times a week <{3><[3>particularly when we're really depressed it's <.>real it's awful i've told her it would be cheaper to um take up alcohol really cheap <[1>yeah <[2>oh right <[3>laughs laughs <{><[>yeah but <[>exhales one phone call to her one day when i was really upset cost me twenty two dollars oh god and i just thought oh my god bottle of brandy would be far <{><[>easier just knock yourself out and go to sleep <[>laughs yeah but i mean you need that mm that contact like when i was really sick last week i <.>rang i you know toll bill was nothing <{1><[1>cos i just needed <{2><[2>you needed to talk to people and <{3><[3>you need like you need that connection <.>to <.>to to home and <[1>mm <[2>mm <[3>yeah mm to be around like i mean i just <.>had i had to talk to my twin sister <.>for like i just talked to her for hours and hours and i rang up this old friend that i hadn't talked to for like um about eight <&>6:00 MONTHS <.>and and <{><[>um er you <.>ju you need that <[>mm tut and i think also when you're really depressed you tend to look round and go oh there's no one around that loves me i've got no friends and <{><[>no one really cares so you try to think oh i'd love to talk to someone so you just end up speaking <[><.>tha even <{><[>even like your new friends that you <[>word mm that you've met for me that i've met since i've come to wellington <{><[>since i've come you know to varsity and that <[>mm mm you can get really close to them but it's still not the same tut because they don't know your background and they <{><[>don't know where you've come from i mean the thing is that if you're meeting people particularly like in a university situation it's like hi i'm caroline this is me type of thing and you make a judgement on how i appear but you don't know anything about the previous sixteen years of my life <[>yeah yeah why <.>i why someone acts the way they <&>telephone rings in background do and it's um tut it's really bizarre because you make so many judgements without really knowing who people are like um tut it's just this week when i've been fighting with andrea i've just been getting on SO well with my room mate cos she's <.>o she <&>7:00 only moved in after the half term and she is the loveliest person and she's been telling me about her family and um her parents got married because her mother was pregnant and her older elder sister has spina bifida mm and um so <.>she's tut has a lot of problems getting around and things and the next one had <.>a major problems with drugs and she spent a lot of time in psychiatric wards and things and she now has a three year old child oh <{><[>god <[>who she has real trouble coping with because she thinks she's turned all to sick the little girl cos her mother just doesn't know what to do with her and then jacinta moved out when she was sixteen i think cos she used to fight with her father tut and now the youngest daughter's kind of gone off the rails a bit so it's <{><[>it's word <[>she would be the only normal one in the <{><[>family <[>yeah yeah it's really interesting <{1><[1>though finding out about people because i think that um you know you can just make judgements that <{2><[2>oh such and such is a real cow but you just don't know why <[1>coughs <[2>were <.>you you meet so many people mm like that's it you just <.>meet meeting people <&>8:00 constantly <{1><[1>all the time you don't really often have time you miss <{2><[2>things <[1>mm mm <[2>mm yeah and also when they make little hints you know you often don't pick them up about people i think yeah and particularly when people are depressed and things they they often feel like there's just no one around that really knows you that was the thing is that like <.>when when i first came down to wellington i knew not a soul <{><[>in the world in wellington and um it <.>was it was like for a while you could be separate from what you had been <[>mm mm and things about yourself mm you <.>y lots of people do it when you first came everyone got on so well because everyone tried so hard mm to change the things about themselves that they saw <{1><[1>as not working and then sort of about halfway through the year it <.>s it started to be that you couldn't cope because you you can't pretend for that amount of time you can't you just can't sort of continue on with that whole um being super people i mean basically everyone by the end of the year couldn't cope because <&>9:00 they'd they'd tried too hard <{2><[2>to be <[1>mm <[2>mm tut i think that's where i was quite <{1><[1>stubborn and i think i've never made a big effort to hang around with groups and you know <{2><[2>get in and talk <.>to and sit in people's rooms and just talk to people for no reason at all and i think that a lot of people that really did that and got really groupy and happy are now running into the most incredible problems cos they're just getting so sick of each other and <{3><[3>the little backstabbing bits and people er running in and out of each other's pockets and <[1>coughs <[2>yeah <[3>yeah they're not independent <{><[>enough <[>no i don't think so that's why i've really been enjoying kind of lately because um i've got my job and all the people that you meet there <&>9:36