<&>Wellington Corpus of Spoken New Zealand English Version One <&>Copyright 1998 School of Linguistics & Applied Language Studies <&>Victoria University of Wellington <&>side one <&>0:34 do you remember voc how you felt when you first came back to new zealand yes <{><[>i do <[>being on land from the <,> from the ship i do i remember that that i was i was very confused <,> er when i landed back and it took me quite some time to get things in any sort of perspective at all er the only place that i felt at home was in a pub when i got half full of beer you know er then then you know you relaxed you see but i i i when i come back i <&>1:00 found it very hard to reLATE to to to to to the er er to the environment that i had to <.>come that i had to take a part in or be part of you see i found it very hard to relate to my parents they were very patient with me for impatient people they i looking back i find that my parents were VERY patient with me with my drinking and and and fighting around the place i was a quarrelsome young man i'm still a quarrelsome old man er not that i <.>real under certain circumstances but i was very quarrelsome young man and and i must have been a considerable TRIAL to my parents i lived with my parents for the first few months after i come home <,> and as i say they were very i'm sure i i see now that they were very <,> very er er er patient with me but my my father in the first er three months after i did er after i landed back he offered to put me on a farm <,> tut i wouldn't go and i had sense enough to realise that i didn't have enough stability to take these er responsibility of a farm <,> er and of course by the time another er couple of years had passed by the glamour had all worn off er you know returned heroes and all this sort of bull had worn off and i never got the opportunity again <,> not in that direction <,> er we ALL drank as er as my wife will tell you we all drank TERRIFICALLY <,> we did nothing else but DRINK drink drink drank ourselves into oblivion i supPOSE <,> er even it it was preached in the <.>s er the churches about the <.>a against the drinking of the returned soldiers and to be a returned soldier for the first year or two first few years i came back was to be something that was no good for any bloody thing you see <,> <&>3:00 because <,> that's not all but but the great majority <,> the great majority of us drank too much <,> tut and er er some of them never stopped <,> of course what do you put that down to oh i think it's down to relaxing relaxation letting off steam trying to <.>re trying to er i put it now when i come to think of it trying to to er relieve the tension <,> relieve the tension er you know er the things i've been trying to get through to you people about er er er er the fighting on the western front and the life on the western front was the terrific TENSIONS you lived under all the time do you see <,> terrific tension now that's the that's the that's the thing i feel er was the was the was the biggest er factor in <.>e eroding the nervous systems of the people that took part <,> er was the constant tension <,> apart from the physical hardship <,> er <&>4:00 it was more of an emotional thing than anything else now the eroding of the nervous system that you refer to is shell shock at the time they didn't realise <,> what shell shock was but did you <,> as a soldier who participated <,> were you aware of <.>s shell shock yeah <,> i was <,> i was i never had shell shock but i WAS hospitalised with concussion <&>pronounced as contussion and burst eardrums and general knocked about er at one period and er <,,> er but but it didn't affect me like shell shock er it's never given me shakes except my head except when i get a bit excited i'm still quite er you know my nerves nervous system's quite good but er at one period i noticed on some of my medical papers neurasthenia was mentioned on it well i think we were all er the great majority of us were er to to a greater or lesser degree neurasthenic when we landed in <&>5:00 <.>neuras <,,> were what? neurasthenic neurotic you see neurotic <,> a bit shot yeah when you got back did you feel that the general population in new zealand understood what the soldiers had been through i don't think they did why not no i don't know i don't know why too far away <,> too far away? but i don't think that they did <,> i'm almost certain they didn't <,> mind you for the first few weeks er the first few days or the first few weeks on the street you'd be welcomed home by people that you'd never er met before or never knew very WELL before knew of them and that they'd stop you on the streets and pat you on the back and welcome you home and glad to see you back and all this sort of thing <,> but er er i don't think <,> er <,> <.>a at one period <,> er on the jury system if you wore an r s a badge they'd immediately chuck you out they wouldn't have you on the JURY why was that <&>6:00 i don't know but someone told me they said you're ever called on the jury put on a r s a badge that's that they'd challenge it and you'd be chucked straight out <,> er <,> um the church people didn't like us very much <.>o on account of our drinking and our er our general dissipated way of living i think we were irresponsible <,> not all of us some were quite responsible but they were the elder men that had saved a few <,> er saved a had a bit of a competence before they'd gone away had a few <.>pou perhaps a few hundred saved you see they came back and they were they they were <.>pre they they were hoping to get on the land or something like that or into business they were all right but they were in the minority er the bulk of us just er <,> we weren't much good <,> we weren't much good <,> weren't much good er those were hard times were they eh? no work <&>7:00 they was hard times it was when you returned did you join the r s a mm? when you returned did you JOIN the <{><[>r s a <[>yes yes immediately in dannevirke all most of them were a foundation within the first year of a foundation member and what sort of organisation was it in those days oh it was a quite a much better than to much different to what it is now because it was VERY exclusive you had to be a a soldier that had served overseas to GET IN IT you see to join and it was a very exclusive club then and and we had a certain conceit of ourselves of course naturally and er er as the r s a <,> er returned soldiers and er <,> er although i was <,> i never spent any time IN the r s a buildings entertainment buildings myself really <,> i was always a back country person <,> tut out in the small timbers so i couldn't speak from the social side of the r s a at all in our time as compared to <,> now and what sort of welfare work did the r s a do in those years <&>8:00 er <.>prac er er nil as far as i was concerned i i was caught out with i was a member of the r s a and i was caught out with appendicitis all of a hurry <,> in er nineteen thirty four <,> nineteen thirty four <,> and i was landed in hospital and i had quite a family and times were hard in the depression you know people a lot of destitute people around and <,> er the r s a just never even visited me in hospital <,> you see <,> and recently i i just TWO years ago almost to the date i've had a major operation er up here <,> and er <,> er major abdominal you know the usual stitched right down the middle and <,> bit cut out and thrown away <,> er <,,> no i no r s a i wasn't a member of the r s a then you see and as far as the r s a was concerned i didn't exist <,> i would have appreciated it if some r s a visitors had come through to see me <&>9:00 then although i had enough visitors i suppose but i think the r s a is more it's more <,> more er er apparent than real <,> do you get that how do you mean that well more apparent than real it shows up all right it sounds all right but it's not real i mean say <.>th er <.>y you go to scratch out the bottom and you find it's a bit hollow <,> you find it's a bit hollow you see er the the the bulk of the r s a people <,> er er <.>th that've been at the head of the thing the dominion president and one or the other they they've they've been gun flinging old er braggos you know that want a er er want a BIG army and a BIG navy and a BIG this and a BIG that they want the people to BEGGAR themselves just to have a BIG army and a BIG navy and you know perfectly well if you stop to think for five minutes that all we can do if any big war breaks out is sit quiet and say NOTHING WE can't do anything to defend ourselves here nothing absolutely NOTHING so how do you feel about the modern the modern r s a's attitude to <,> issues like anzus and the <&>10:00 defensive policy do you think that's any of the r s a's business? i don't think that the defensive policy of the r s a or ANY organisation similar in the country's of ANY USE WHATSOEVER <,> there you are <,,><&>3 er during the nineteen twenties and nineteen thirties did you attend anzac day parades er er once i've only attended two parades since er the war once well i think the first anzac day i attended and i attended a parade on the first national week for the second war i've never been back since why not i don't know why <,> don't ask me i don't know why it leaves me cold the same thing as i went when i went into that waiouru museum <,> <.>i it didn't leave me cold it depressed me and by the time i by the time i'd been there half an hour then i went and sat in the corner <,> and had a howl see <,> do you understand can you put your finger on why that is <&>11:00 er no i can't er imagination <.>i i might <{1><[1>be able to put my finger on why that is because there was one exhibit there and it was a rifle <,> tut with a fixed bayonet on it and the woodwork had rotted away <,> none of the woodwork left but the the action the arm rods were still there and they had a little placard underneath this rifle was picked up off the off er off the battlefield i i presume it was the flanders battlefield <,> picked up off the battlefield it had it had er <,> an <.>unexpl a a <.>firech an empty shell in the breech <,> and two unfired shells in the magazine <,> now that <.>s that that spoke a whole thing to me because that fellow he he'd started off that day with one up the spout and ten in the magazine and his fixed bayonet and er and and the rifle on it er the rifle cocked with the safety catch on you see that's how he'd go into battle that's how he went into battle <,> with the with the rifle chocker as full as he could put it <,> and er er one in the breech cocked with the safety <&>12:00 catch on the fixed bayonet that's how he went in well that's that rifle meant that rifle <.>t sort of told the story for me i stood and watched i stood and looked at that rifle for i suppose ten minutes <,> you see <,> and then i i <.>g felt i had to go away and have a cry you see <,> but that's just emotional as you get when you get older i think don't you think <,> probably <{2><[2>might be seeing things clearly <,> more clearly <[1>coughs <[2><.>di so did you feel that i mean for other people for the general population the museum is not a good thing or <{><[><,> you know general <[>oh well i wouldn't say that i would say it it's fantastic really <,> it IS fantastic really but you see now you take it er you'll you'll see that Lewis gun sitting there in that little trench you've been there <,> that little trench they've got they took me along they said now what do you think of that <,> that that trench well i said well yes it it it IS <&>13:00 and it ISN'T it IS and it ISN'T you see you CAN'T the SMELL'S not there the NOISE is not there you CAN'T hear the rattle of the machine gun or the or the odd crack of the rifle or the smell of high explosive or anything like that you CAN'T put that in a museum you see so er er you've got to you see an eighteen pounder was there and my wife and i stood beside that eighteen pounder and i said well what do you think of it well of course eighteen pounder didn't mean a thing to her well that was our main field gun as you know going into this research er <,> that eighteen pounder you see to you <,> YOU couldn't hear that eighteen pounder and action the bark and CRACK of that eighteen pounder when it was fired and YOU couldn't see the gunners there as i've seen them when i've <.>been i was a company runner at one period taking messages and one thing and another you couldn't see the gunners <.>sh stripped down to their shirt sleeves swearing and cursing and going on and the gun <.>tr trail getting down on the soft ground and getting off the target and <&>14:00 backing us up and and they knew the infantry's in trouble up above because they'd have all the messages coming down you see for more guns more guns more guns more guns you see passchendaele and i er er just looking at that eighteen pounder you couldn't SEE that you couldn't HEAR that but i COULD <,> see so people can never get the right impression is that what you're saying from that people can never get the right <{><[><,> impression <[>no not quite not quite <{><[>no <[>however much it's <{><[>explained or <[>no no i don't think so <,> one old lady who was a party with a few old women she heard me explaining something to my wife and she said she wanted me to come round and and try and explain things to HER you see to these old people and didn't er you know couldn't quite grasp what it er they could see it but couldn't er er get their teeth into it so to speak <,> but it IS fantastic and very nicely laid out that sort of thing but of course a lot is missed out <,> a lot is missed out <&>15:00 do you remember how you felt when world war two broke out when i what do you remember how you felt when world war two broke out yes i do <,> had i been had i been at a loose end like you i'd have immediately went away to world war two so you'd have gone away again yes i would've er i i <.>thou we thought it over but er but i had too many <.>t dependants and the army wouldn't accept my dependants and i would've er willingly gone to world war two NOT for the sake of the shooting or anything like that but for the sake of just the general atmosphere of the whole thing you see <&>15:38