<B CEPLAY2B>
<Q E2 XX COME MIDDLET>
<N CHASTE MAID>
<A MIDDLETON THOMAS>
<C E2>
<O 1570-1640>
<M X>
<K X>
<D ENGLISH>
<V PROSE>
<T DRAMA COMEDY>
<G X>
<F X>
<W SCRIPT>
<X MALE>
<Y 40-60>
<H HIGH>
<U X>
<E X>
<J INTERACTIVE>
<I INFORMAL>
<Z X>
<S SAMPLE X>


[^MIDDLETON, THOMAS.
A CHASTE MAID IN CHEAPSIDE, 1630.
MENSTON: THE SCOLAR PRESS LIMITED,
1969 (FACSIMILE).
PP. 1.1  - 8.35     (SAMPLE 1)
PP. 15.1 - 29.10    (SAMPLE 2)^]

<S SAMPLE 1>
<P 1>
(^Maudline.^) Haue you playd ouer all your old Lessons o the
Virginals?
(^Moll.^) Yes.
(^Maudl.^) Yes, you are a dull Mayd alate;
me thinkes you had need haue somewhat to
quicken your Greene Sicknesse, doe you weepe? A Husband.
Had not such a peece of Flesh been ordayned, what
had vs Wiues been good for? To make Sallets, or else cryd
vp and downe for Sampier. To see the difference of these
Seasons, when I was of your youth, I was lightsome, and
quicke, two yeeres before I was married. You fit for a
Knightsbed, drowsie browd, dull eyed, drossie sprited,
I hold my life you haue forgot your Dauncing: When
was the Dauncer with you?
<P 2>
(^Moll.^) The last weeke.
(^Maudl.^) Last weeke, when I was of your bord, he
mist me not a night, I was kept at it, I tooke delight to
learne, and he to teach me, prittie browne Gentleman, he
tooke pleasure in my company, but you are dull, nothing
comes nimbly from you, you daunce like a Plummers
Daughter, and deserue two thousand pound in Lead to
your marriage, and not in Gold-Smithes Ware.

(^Enter Yellow-hammer.^)

(^Yell.^) Now what's the din betwixt Mother and Daughter,
ha?
(^Maudl.^) Faith small, telling your Daughter (^Mary^) of
her Errors.
(^Yell.^) Errors, nay the Citie cannot hold you Wife, but
you must needs fetch words from Westminster, I ha done
I faith, has no Atturneys Clarke beene here a late, and
changed his Halfe-Crowne-peece his Mother sent him, or
rather cozend you with a guilded Two-pence, to bring the
word in fashion, for her faults or crackes, in dutie and
obedience, terme em eeue so sweet Wife. As there is no
Woman made without a Flaw, your purest Lawnes haue
Frayes, and Cambrickes Brackes.
(^Maudl.^) But 'tis a Husband sowders vp all Crackes.
(^Moll.^) What is he come Sir?
(^Yell^) , S=r= (^Walters^) come.
He was met at Holbourne Bridge, and in his company,
a proper faire young Gentlewoman, which I guesse
by her red Hayre, and other ranke descriptions,
to be his landed Neece, brought out of Wales,
which (^Tim^) our Sonne (the Cambridge Boy) must marry.
'Tis a match of S=r= (^Walters^) owne making
to bind vs to him, and our Heires for euer.
(^Mandl.^) We are honord then, if this Baggage would be
humble, and kisse him with deuotion when he enters.
I cannot get her for my life
<P 3>
to instruct her Hand thus, before and after,
which a Knight will looke for, before and after.
I haue told her still, 'tis the wauing of a Woman
dose often moue a Man, and preuailes strongly.
But sweet, ha you sent to Cambridge,
(has (^Tim^) word an't?)
(^Yell.^) Had word iust the day after when you sent him the
Siluer Spoone to eat his Broath in the Hall, amongst the
Gentlemen Commoners.
(^Maudl.^) O 'twas timely.

(^Enter Porter.^)

(^Yell.^) How now?
(^Port.^) A Letter from a Gentleman in Cambridge.
(^Yell.^) O one of (^Hobsons^) Porters, thou art well-come.
I told thee (^Maud^) we should heare from (^Tim^) .             #
(\Amantissimis
charissimisq~, ambobus parentibus patri & matri.\)
(^Maudl.^) What's the matter?
(^Yell.^) Nay by my troth, I know not, aske not me,
he's growne too verball, this Learning is a great Witch.
(^Maudl.^) Pray let me see it, I was wont to vnderstand him.
(\Amantissimus charissimus\) , he has sent the Carryers Man
he sayes: (\ambobus parentibus\) , for a paire of Boots:
(\patri & matri\) , pay the Porter, or it makes no matter.
(^Port.^) Yes by my faith Mistris, there's no true construction
in that, I haue tooke a great deale of paines, and come
from the Bell sweating. Let me come to'te, for I was a
Schollar forty yeers ago, 'tis thus I warrant you: (\Matri\) ,  #
it
makes no matter: (\ambobus parentibus\) , for a paire of Boots:
(\patri\) , pay the Porter: (\amantissimis charissimis\) ,      #
he's the Carryers
Man, and his name is (^Sims^) , and there he sayes true, 
forsooth my name is (^Sims^) indeed, I haue not forgot all my
learning. A Money matter, I thought I should hit on't.
(^Yell.^) Goe thou art an old Fox, ther's a Tester for thee.
(^Port.^) If I see your Worship at Goose Faire, I haue a
Dish of Birds for you.
<P 4>
(^Yell.^) Why dost dwell at Bow?
(^Port.^) All my life time Sir I could euer say Bo, to a
Goose. Farewell to your Worship.
(^Exit Porter.^)
(^Yell.^) A merry Porter.
(^Maudl.^) How can he choose but be so, comming with
Cambridge Letters from our Sonne (^Tim^) ?
(^Yell.^) What's here, (\maximus diligo\) , Faith I must to my
learned Counsell with this geere, 'twill nere be discernd
else.
(^Maudl.^) Goe to my Cousen then, at Innes of Court.
(^Yell.^) Fye they are all for French, they speake no Latine.
(^Maudl.^) The Parson then will doe it.

(^Enter a Gentleman with a Chayne.^)

(^Yell.^) Nay he disclaimes it, calles Latine Papistry, he will
not deale with it. What ist you lacke Gentleman?
(^Gent.^) Pray weigh this Chayne.

(^Enter Sir Walter Whorehound, Welsh Gentlewoman,
and Dauy Dahanna.^)

(^S. Walt.^) Now Wench thou art well-come to the Heart
of the Citie of London.
(^W. Gent.^) Dugat a whee.
(^S. Walt.^) You can thanke me in English if you list,
(^W. Gent.^) I can Sir simply.
(^S. Walt.^) 'Twill serue to passe Wench, 'twas strange that
I should lye with thee so often, to leaue thee without English,
that were vnnaturall, I bring thee vp to turne thee
into Gold Wench, and make thy fortune shine like your
bright Trade, a Gold-Smithes Shop sets out a Citie Mayd.
(^Dauy Dahanna^) , not a word.
(^Dau.^) Mum, mum Sir.
(^S. Walt.^) Here you must passe for a pure Virgine.
(^Dau.^) Pure Welch Virgine, she lost her Maydenhead in
Brekenocke-Shire.
<P 5>
(^S. Walt.^) I heare you mumble (^Dauy^) .
(^Dau.^) I haue Teeth Sir, I need not mumble yet this forty
yeeres.
(^S. Walt.^) The Knaue bites plaguely.
(^Yell.^) What's your price Sir?
(^Gent.^) A hundred pound Sir.
(^Yell.^) A hundred markes the vtmost, 'tis not for me else.
What S=r= (^Walter Whorehound^) ?
(^Moll.^) O Death.
(^Exit Moll.^)
(^Maudl.^) Why Daughter.
Faith the Baggage 
a bashfull Girle Sir, these young things are shamefast,
besides you haue a presence sweet S=r= (^Walter^) ,
able to daunt a Mayd brought vp i'the Citie,

(^Enter Mary.^)

A braue Court Spirit makes our Virgines quiuer,
and kisse with trembling Thighes. Yet see she comes Sir.
(^S. Walt.^) Why how now prettie Mistris, now I haue
caught you. What can you iniure so your time to strey thus
from your faithfull Seruant.
(^Yell.^) Pish, stop your words good Knight, 'twill make
her blush else, which wound to high for the Daughters of
the Freedome, honor, and faithfull Seruant, they are            #
complements
for the Worthy's of Whitehall, or Greenwitch,
eene plaine, sufficient, subsidy words serues vs Sir. And is
this Gentlewoman your worthy Neece?
(^S. Walt.^) You may be bold with her on these termes, 'tis
she Sir, Heire to some nineteene Mountaines.
(^Yell.^) Blesse vs all, you ouer-whelme me Sir with loue
and riches.
(^S. Walt.^) And all as high as (^Pauls^) .
(^Dau.^) Here's worke I faith.
(^S. Walt.^) How sayest thou (^Dauy^) ?
(^Dau.^) Higher Sir by farre, you cannot see the top of
em.
(^Yell.^) What Man? (^Maudline^) salute this Gentlewoman,
our Daughter if things hit right.
<P 6>
(^Enter Tuchwood Iunior.^)

(^T.I.^) My Knight with a brace of Footmen,
is come and brought vp his Ewe Mutton,
to find a Ram at London, I must hasten it,
or else picke a Famine, her Bloods mine,
and that's the surest. Well Knight, that choyse spoy
is onely kept for me.
(^Moll.^) Sir?
(^T.I.^) Turne not to me till thou mayst lawfully, it but
whets my stomacke, which is too sharpe set already. Read
that note carefully, keepe me from suspition still, nor know
my zeale but in thy Heart: read and send but thy liking in 
three words, I'le be at hand to take it.
(^Yell.^) O turne Sir, turne.
A poore plaine Boy, an Vniuersitie Man,
proceeds next Lent to a Batcheler of Art,
he will be call'd S=r= (^Yellowhammer^) then
ouer all Cambridge, and that's halfe a Knight.
(^Maudl.^) Please you draw neere, and tast the well-come
of the Citie Sir?
(^Yell.^) Come good S=r= (^Walter^) , and your vertuous Neece
here.
(^S. Walt.^) 'Tis manners to take kindnesse.
(^Yell.^) Lead 'em in Wife.
(^S. Walt.^) Your company Sir.
(^Yell.^) I'le giue't you instantly.
(^T.I.^) How strangely busie is the Diuell and riches,
Poore Soule kept in too hard, her Mothers Eye,
is cruell toward her, being to him,
'twere a good mirth now to set him a worke
to make her wedding Ring. I must about it.
Rather then the gaine should fall to a Stranger,
'twas honestie in me to enrich my Father.
(^Yell.^) The Girle is wondrous peuish, I feare nothing,
but that she's taken with some other loue,
<P 7>
then all's quite dasht, that must be narrowly lookt to,
we cannot be too wary in our Children. What ist you lack?
(^T.I.^) O nothing now, all that I wish is present.
I would haue a wedding Ring made for a Gentlewoman,
with all speed that may be.
(^Yell.^) Of what weight Sir?
(^T.I.^) Of some halfe ounce,
stand faire and comely, with the Sparke of a Diamond.
Sir 'twere pittie to lose the least grace.
(^Yell.^) Pray let's see it, indeed Sir 'tis a pure one.
(^T.I.^) So is the Mistris.
(^Yell.^) Haue you the widenesse of her Finger Sir?
(^T.I.^) Yes sure I thinke I haue her measure about me,
good faith 'tis downe, I cannot show't you,
I must pull too many things out to be certaine.
Let me see, long, and slender, and neatly ioynted,
Iust such another Gentlewoman that's your Daughter Sir.
(^Yell.^) And therefore Sir no Gentlewoman.
(^T.I.^) I protest I neuer saw two Maids handed more alike
I'le nere seeke farther, if you'le giue me leaue Sir.
(^Yell.^) If you dare venture by her Finger Sir.
(^T.I.^) I, and I'le bide all losse Sir.
(^Yell.^) Say you so Sir, let's see hether Girle.
(^T.I.^) Shall I make bold with your finger Gentlewoman?
(^Moll.^) Your pleasure Sir.
(^T.I.^) That fits her to a haire Sir.
(^Yell.^) What's your Posie now Sir?
(^T.I.^) Masse that's true, Posie I faith eene thus Sir.
Loue that's wise, blinds Parents Eyes.
(^Yell.^) How, how, If I may speake without offence Sir,
I hold my life
(^T.I.^) What Sir?
(^Yell.^) Goe too, you'le pardon me?
(^T.I.^) Pardon you? I Sir.
(^Yell.^) Will you I faith?
(^T.I.^) Yes faith I will.
(^Yell.^) You'le steale away some Mans Daughter, am I nere you?
Doe you turne aside? You Gentlemen are mad Wags, I
<P 8>
wonder things can be so warily carried,
and Parents blinded so, but the're serued right
that haue two Eyes, and were so dull a sight.
(^T.I.^) Thy doome take hold of thee.
(^Yell.^) To morrow noone shall shew your Ring well done.
(^T.I.^) Being so 'tis soone, thankes, and your leaue sweet
Gentlewoman.
(^Exit.^)
(^Moll.^) Sir you are well-come.
O were I made of wishes, I went with thee.
(^Yell.^) Come now we'le see how the rules goe within.
(^Moll.^) That robs my Ioy, there I loose all I win.
(^Exit.^)

(^Enter Dauy and All-wit seuerally.^)

(^Dau.^) Honestie wash my Eyes, I haue spy'd a Witall.
(^All.^) What (^Dauy Dahanna^) , well-come from North Wales
I faith, and is S=r= (^Walter^) come?
(^Dau.^) New come to Towne Sir.
(^All.^) Into the Mayds sweet (^Dauy^) , and giue order his
Chamber be made ready instantly, my Wife's as great as
she can wallow (^Dauy^) , and longs for nothing but pickled
Coucombers, and his comming, and now she shall ha'te 
Boy.
(^Dau.^) She's sure of them Sir.
(^All.^) Thy verie sight will hold my Wife in pleasure,
till the Knight come himselfe. Go in, in, in (^Dauy^) .

(^Exit.^)

The Founderscome to Towne, I am like a Man
finding a Table furnish't to his hand,
as mine is still to me, prayes for the Founder,
blesse the right Worshipfull, the good Founders life.
I thanke him, h'as maintain'd my House this ten yeeres,
not onely keepes my Wife, but a keepes me,
and all my Family, I am at his Table,
he gets me all my Children, and payes the Nurse,
monthly, or weekely, puts me to nothing,
rent, nor Church duties, not so much as the Scauenger,
the happiest state that euer Man was borne to.

<S SAMPLE 2>
<P 15>
(^Wench.^) O Snaphance, haue I found you.
(^T.S.^) How Snaphance?
(^Wench.^) Doe you see your workemanship,
Nay turne not from it, nor offer to escape, for if you doe,
I'le cry it through the Streets, and follow you.
Your name may well be called (^Tuchwood^) , a Pox on you,
You doe but touch and take, thou hast vndone me,
I was a Mayd before, I can bring a Certificate for it,
From both the Church-Wardens.
(^T.S.^) I'le haue the Parsons Hand too, or I'le not yeeld
to't.
(^Wench.^) Thou shalt haue more thou Villaine, nothing
grieues me, but (^Ellen^) my poore cousen in Darbishiere, thou
hast crack't her marriage quite, she'le haue a bout with
thee.
(^T.S.^) Faith when she will I'le haue a bout with her.
(^Wench.^) A Law bout Sir I meane.
(^T.S.^) True, Lawyers vse such bouts as other Men doe,
And if that be all thy griefe, I'le tender her a Husband,
I keepe of purpose two or three Gulls in pickle
To eat such Mutten with, and she shall chuse one.
Doe but in courtesie faith Wench excuse me,
Of this halfe yeard of Flesh, in which I thinke it wants
A Nayle or two. 
(^Wench.^) No, thou shalt find Villaine
It hath right shape, and all the Nayles it should haue.
(^T.S.^) Faith I am poore, doe a charitable deed Wench,
I am a younger Brother, and haue nothing.
(^Wench.^) Nothing, thou hast too much thou lying villaine
Vnlesse thou wert more thankefull.
(^T.S.^) I haue no dwelling,
I brake vp House but this morning, Pray thee pittie me;
I am a good Fellow, faith haue beene too kind
To people of your Gender, if I ha'te
Without my Belly, none of your Sexe shall want it,
That word has beene of force to moue a Woman.
There's trickes enough to rid thy Hand on't Wench,
<P 16>
Some rich-mans Porch, to morrow before day,
Or else anone i'the euening, twentie deuises,
Here's all I haue, I faith, take purse and all,
And would I were rid of all the Ware i'the Shop so.
(^Wench.^) Where I find manly dealings I am pitifull,
This shall not trouble you.
(^T.S.^) And I protest Wench, the next I'le keepe my
selfe.
(^Wench.^) Soft, let it be got first.
This is the filth, if e're I venture more
Where I now goe for a Mayd, may I ride for a Whore.
(^Exit.^)
(^T.S.^) what shift shele make now with this peece of flesh
In this strict time of Lent, I cannot imagine,
Flesh dare not peepe abroad now, I haue knowne
This Citie now aboue this seuen yeers,
But I protest in better state of gouernement,
I neuer knew it yet, nor euer heard of,
There has beene more religious wholesome Lawes
In the halfe cirkle of a yeere erected
For common good, then memorie euer knew of,

(^Enter Sir Oliuer Kin, and his Lady.^)

Setting apart corruption of Promoters,
And other poysonous Officers that infect
And with a venemous breath taint euerie goodnesse.
(^Lady.^) O that e're I was begot, or bred, or borne.
(^S. Ol.^) Be content sweet Wife.
(^T.S.^) What's here to doe now?
I hold my life she's in deepe passion
For the imprisonment of Veale and Mutton
Now kept in Garets, weepes for some Calues Head now,
Me thinkes her Husbands Head might serue with Bacon.

(^Enter Tuchwood Iunior.^)

(^Lady.^) Hist.
<P 17>
(^S. Ol.^) Patience sweet Wife.
(^T.I.^) Brother I haue sought you strangely.
(^T.S.^) Why what's the businesse?
(^T.I.^) With all speed thou canst procure a Licence for 
me.
(^T.S.^) How, a Licence?
(^T.I.^) Cuds-foot she's lost else, I shall misse her euer
(^T.I.^) Nay sure thou shalt not misse so faire a marke,
For thirteene shillings foure pence.
(^T.S.^) Thankes by hundreds.
(^Exit.^)
(^S. Ol.^) Nay pray thee cease, I'le be at more cost yet,
Thou know'st we are rich enough.
(^Lady.^) All but in blessings,
And there the Begger goes beyond vs. O, o`, o`,
To be seuen yeeres a Wife and not a Child, o` not a Child.
(^S. Ol.^) Sweet Wife haue patience.
(^Lady.^) Can any Woman haue a greater cut?
(^S. Ol.^) I know 'tis great, but what of that Wife?
I cannot doe with all, there's things making
By thine owne Doctors aduice at Poticaries,
I spare for nothing Wife, no if the price
Were fortie markes a spoone-full,
I'de giue a thousand pound to purchase fruitfulnesse,
'Tis but bating so many good workes
In the erecting of Bridewels and Spittle-houses,
And so fetch it vp againe, for hauing none
I meane to make good deeds my Children.
(^Lady.^) Giue me but those good deeds, and I'le find
Children.
(^S. Ol.^) Hang thee, thou hast had too many.
(^Lady.^) Thou ly'st breuitie.
(^S. Ol.^) O horrible, dar'st thou call me breuitie?
Dar'st thou be so short with me?
(^Lady.^) Thou deseruest worse.
Thinke but vpon the goodly Lands and Linings
That's kept backe through want on't.
(^S. Ol.^) Talke not on't pray thee,
<P 18>
Thou'lt make me play the Woman, and weepe too.
(^Lady.^) 'Tis our dry barrennesse puffes vp S=r= (^Walter^) ,
None gets by your not-getting, but that Knight,
He's made by th'meanes, and fats his fortunes, shortly
In a great Dowry with a Gold-Smiths Daughter.
(^S. Ol.^) They may be all deceiued,
Be but you patient Wife.
(^Lady.^) I haue suffred a long time.
(^S. Ol.^) Suffer thy Heart out, a Poxe suffer thee.
(^Lady.^) Nay thee, thou desertlesse Slaue.
(^S. Ol.^) Come, come, I ha'done.
You'le to the Gossiping of M=r= (^Allwits^) Child?
(^Lady.^) Yes, to my much ioy,
Euerie one gets before me, there's my Sister
Was married but at Bartholmew-eeue last,
And she can haue two Children at a birth,
O one of them, one of them would ha'seru'd my turne.
(^S. Ol.^) Sorrow consume thee, thou art still crossing me,
And know'st my nature.

(^Enter a Mayd.^)
 
(^Mayd.^) O Mistris, weeping or rayling,
That's our House harmony.
(^Lady.^) What say'st (^Iugg^) ?
(^Mayd.^) The sweetest newes.
(^Lady.^) What ist Wench?
(^Mayd.^) Throw downe your Doctors Drugges,
They're all but Heretikes, I bring certaine remedy
That has beene taught, and proued, and neuer fayl'd.
(^S. Ol.^) O that, that, that or nothing.
(^Mayd.^) There's a Gentleman,
I haply haue his Name too, that has got
Nine Children by one Water that he vseth,
It neuer misses, they come so fast vpon him,
He was faine to giue it ouer.
(^Lady.^) His name sweet (^Iugg^) ?
<P 19>
(^Mayd.^) One M=r= (^Tuchwood^) , a fine Gentleman,
But run behind-hand much with getting Children.
(^S. Ol.^) Ist possible?
(^Mayd.^) Why Sir, he'le vndertake,
Vsing that Water, within fifteene yeere,
For all your wealth, to make you a poore Man,
You shall so swarme with Children.
(^S. Ol.^) I'le venture that I faith.
(^Lady.^) That shall you Husband.
(^Mayd.^) But I must tell you first, he's very deere.
(^S. Ol.^) No matter, what serues wealth for?
(^Lady.^) True sweet Husband,
There's Land to come, Put case his Water stands me
In some fiue hundred pound a pint,
'T will fetch a thousand, and a Kersten Soule.
I'le about it.
And that's worth all sweet Husband.
(^Exit.^)

(^Enter All-wit.^)

(^All.^) I'le goe bid Gossips presently my selfe,
That's all the worke I'le doe, nor need I stirre,
But that it is my pleasure to walke forth
Any ayre my selfe a little, I am ty'd to nothing
In this businesse, what I doe is meerely recreation,
Not constraint.
Here's running to and fro, Nurse vpon Nurse,
Three Chare women, besides maids & neighbors children.
Fye, what a trouble haue I rid my Hands on,
It makes me sweat to thinke on't.

(^Enter Sir Walter Whorehound.^)

(^S. Walt.^) How now (^I aske^) ?
(^All.^) I am going to bid Gossips for your W=ps= child Sir,
A goodly Girle I faith, giue you ioy on her,
She looks as if she had two thousand pound to her portion
<P 20>
(^Enter Dry Nurse.^)

And run away with a Taylor, A fine plumpe black ei'd slut,
Vnder correction Sir,
I take delight to see her: Nurse.
(^Nurse.^) Doe you call Sir?
(^Exit.^)
(^All.^) I call not you, I call the Wet Nurse hither, 

(^Enter Wet Nurse.^)

Giue me the wet Nurse, I 'tis thou,
Come hither, come hither,
Lets see her once againe, I cannot chuse.
But busse her thrice an hower.
(^Nurse.^) You may be proud on't Sir,
'Tis the best peece of worke that e're you did.
(^All.^) Think'st thou so Nurse, What sayest to (^Wat^) and
(^Nicke^) ?
(^Nurse.^) They're pretie children both, but here's a wench
Will be a knocker.
(^All.^) Pup say'st thou me so, pup little Countesse,
Faith Sir I thanke your Worship for this Girle,
Ten thousand times, and vpward.
(^S. Walt.^) I am glad I haue her for you Sir.
(^All.^) Here take her in Nurse, wipe her, and giue her
Spoone-meat.
(^Nurse.^) Wipe your Mouth Sir.
(^Exit.^)
(^All.^) And now about these Gossips.
(^S. Walt.^) Get but two, I'le stand for one my selfe.
(^All.^) To your owne Child Sir?
(^S. Walt.^) The better pollicie, it preuents suspition,
'Tis good to play with rumor at all weapons.
(^All.^) Troth I commend your care Sir, 'tis a thing
That I should ne're haue thought on.
(^S. Walt.^) The more Slaue,
When Man turnes base, out goes his Soules pure flame,
The fat of ease o're-throwes the eyes of shame.
<P 21>
(^All.^) I am studying who to get for Godmother
Sutable to your Worship, Now I ha'thought on't.
(^S. Walt.^) I'le ease you of that care, and please my selfe    #
in't
My Loue the Goldsmithes Daughter, if I send,
Her Father will command her, (^Dauy Dahumma^) .

(^Enter Dauy.^)

(^All.^) I'le fit your Worship then with a Male Partner.
(^S. Walt.^) What is he?
(^All.^) A kind proper Gentleman, Brother to M=r=
(^Tuchwood^) .
(^S. Walt.^) I know (^Tuchwood^) , has he a Brother liuing?
(^All.^) A neat Batchelor.
(^S. Walt.^) Now we know him, we'le make shift with him
Dispatch the time drawes neere, Come hither (^Dauy^) .
(^Exit.^)
(^All.^) In troth I pittie him, he ne're stands still,
Poore Knight what paines he takes, sends this way one,
That way another, has not an houres leasure,
I would not haue thy toyle, for all thy pleasure,

(^Enter two Promoters.^)

Ha, how now, what are these that stand so close
At the Street-corner, pricking vp their Eares,
And snuffing vp their Noses, like rich-mens Dogges
When the first Course goes in? By the masse Promoters,
'Tis so I hold my life, and planted there
To arrest the dead Corps of poore Calues and Sheepe,
Like rauenous Creditors, that will not suffer
The Bodyes of their poore departed Debtors
To goe to'th'graue, but eene in Death to vex
And stay the Corps, with Billes of Middlesex,
This Lent will fat the whoresons vp with Sweetbreds,
And lard their whores with Lambe-stones, what their gols
Can clutch, goes presently to their (^Mols^) and (^Dols^) ,
The Bawds will be so fat with what they carue,
<P 22>
Their Chins will hang like Vdders, by Easter-eeue,
And being stroak't, will giue the Milke of Witches,
How did the Mungrels heare my wife lyes in?
Well, I may baffle 'em gallantly, By your Fauour Gentlemen
I am a stranger both vnto the Citie,
And to her carnall stricktnesse.
(^1 Prom.^) Good, Your will Sir?
(^All.^) Pray tell me where one dwells that kils this Lent.
(^1 Prom.^) How kils? Come hither (^Dicke^) ,
A Bird, a Bird.
(^2 Prom.^) What ist that you would haue?
(^All.^) Faith any Flesh,
But I long especially for Veale and Greene-sauce.
(^1 Prom.^) Greene-Goose, you shall be sau'st.
(^All.^) I haue halfe a scornefull stomacke, no Fish will be
admitted.
(^1 Prom.^) Not this Lent Sir?
(^All.^) Lent, what cares Colon here for Lent?
(^1 Prom.^) You say well Sir,
Good reason that the Colon of a Gentleman
As you were lately pleas'd to terme your worship Sir,
Should be fulfill'd with answerable food,
To sharpen Blood, delight Health, and tickle Nature,
Were you directed hither to this Street Sir?
(^All.^) That I was, I marry.
(^2 Prom.^) And the Butcher belike
Should kill, and sell close in some vpper Roome?
(^All.^) Some Apple-loft as I take it, or a Cole-house,
I know not which I faith.
(^2 Prom.^) Either will serue,
This Butcher shall kisse Newgate, lesse he turne vp the
Bottome of the Pocket of his Apron,
You goe to seeke him?
(^All.^) Where you shall not find him,
I'le buy, walke by your Noses with my Flesh,
Sheepe-biting Mungrels, Hand-basket Free-booters,
My Wife lyes in, a sootra for Promoters.
(^Exit.^)
<P 23>
(^1 Prom.^) That shall not serue your turn, what a Rogue's
this, how cunningly he came ouer vs?

(^Enter a Man with Meat in a Basket.^)

(^2 Prom.^) Husht, stand close.
(^Man^) I haue scap't well thus farre, they say the Knaues
are wondrous hot and busie.
(^1 Prom.^) By your leaue Sir,
We must see what you haue vnder your Cloake there.
(^Man^) Haue? I haue nothing.
(^1 Prom.^) No, doe you tell vs that, what makes this
lumpe sticke out then, we must see Sir.
(^Man^) What will you see Sir, a paire of Sheets, and two
of my Wiues foule Smocks, going to the Washers?
(^2 Prom.^) O we loue that sight well, you cannot please vs
better: What doe you gull vs, call you these Shirts and 
Smockes?
(^Man^) Now a Poxe choake you,
You haue cozend me and fiue of my Wiues kinred
Of a good Dinner, we must make it vp now
With Herrings and Milke-potage.
(^Exit.^)
(^1 Prom.^) 'Tis all Veale.
(^2 Prom.^) All Veale, Poxe the worse lucke, I promis'd
faithfully to send this morning a fat quarter of Lambe, to a
kind Gentlewoman in Turnebull street that longs, and how
I'me crost.
(^1 Prom.^) Let's share this, and see what hap comes next
then.

(^Enter another with a Basket.^)

(^2 Prom.^) Agreed, stand close againe, another bootie,
What's he?
(^1 Prom.^) Sir, by your fauour.
(^Man^) Meaning me Sir?
(^1 Prom.^) Good M=r= (^Oliuer^) , cry thee mercie, I faith.
<P 24>
What hast thou there?
(^Man.^) A Racke of Mutton Sir, and halfe a Lambe,
You know my Mistrisses dyet.
(^1 Prom.^) Goe, goe, we see thee not, away, keepe close,
Heart let him passe, thou'lt neuer haue the wit
To know our benefactors.
(^2 Prom.^) I haue forgot him.
(^1 Prom.^) 'Tis M. (^Beggerlands^) man the wealthy Merchant
That is in fee with vs.
(^2 Prom.^) Now I haue a feeling of him.
(^1 Prom.^) You know he purchast the whole Lent together
Gaue vs ten groats a peece on Ash-wensday.
(^2 Prom.^) True, true.

(^Enter a Wench with a Basket, and a Child in it
vnder a Loyne of Mutton.^)

(^1 Prom.^) A Wench.
(^2 prom.^) Why then stand close indeed.
(^Wench.^) Women had need of wit, if they'le shift here,
And she that hath wit, may shift any-where.
(^1 Prom.^) Looke, looke, poore Foole,
She has left the Rumpe vncouer'd too,
More to betray her, this is like a Murdrer,
That will out-face the deed with a bloody Band.
(^2 prom.^) What time of the yeere ist Sister?
(^Wench.^) O sweet Gentlemen, I am a poore Seruant,
Let me goe.
(^1 Prom.^) You shall Wench, but this must stay with vs.
(^Wench.^) O you vndoe me Sir,
'Tis for a welthy Gentlewoman that takes Physicke Sir,
The Doctor do's allow my Mistris Mutton,
O as you tender the deere life of a Gentlewoman,
I'le bring my Master to you, he shall shew you
A true authoritie from the higher powers,
And I'le run euerie foot.
(^2 Prom.^) Well, leaue your Basket then,
<P 25>
And run and spare not.
(^Wench.^) Will you sweare then to me,
To keepe it till I come.
(^1 Prom.^) Now by this light I will.
(^Wench.^) What say you Gentleman? 
(^2 Prom.^) What a strange Wench 'tis?
Would we might perish else.
(^Wench.^) Nay then I run Sir.
(^Exit.^)
(^1 Prom.^) And ne're returne I hope.
(^2 Prom.^) A politike Baggage,
She makes vs sweare to keepe it,
I prethe looke what market she hath made.
(^1 Prom.^) Imprimis Sir, a good fat Loyne of Mutton,
What comes next vnder this Cloath?
Now for a quarter of Lambe.
(^2 Prom.^) Not for a Shoulder of Mutton.
(^1 Prom.^) Done.
(^2 Prom.^) Why done Sir.
(^1 Prom.^) By the masse I feele I haue lost,
'Tis of more weight I faith.
(^2 Prom.^) Some Loyne of Veale?
(^1 Prom.^) No faith, here's a Lambes Head,
I feele that plainly, why yet win my wager.
(^2 Prom.^) Ha?
(^1 Prom.^) Swounds what's here?
(^2 Prom.^) A Child.
(^1 Prom.^) A Poxe of all dissembling cunning Whores.
(^2 Prom.^) Here's an vnlucky Breakefast.
(^1 Prom.^) What shal's doe?
(^2 Prom.^) The Queane made vs sweare to keepe it too.
(^1 Prom.^) We might leaue it else.
(^2 Prom.^) Villanous strange,
'Life had she none to gull, but poore Promoters,
That watch hard for a liuing.
(^1 Prom.^) Halfe our gettings must run in Suger-sops,
And Nurses wages now, besides many a pound of Sope,
And Tallow, we haue need to get Loynes of Mutton still,
<P 26>
To saue Suet to change for Candles.
(^2 Prom.^) Nothing mads me, but this was a Lambs head
with you, you felt it, she has made Calues heads of vs.
(^1 Prom.^) Prethe no more on't,
There's time to get it vp, it is not come
To Mid-Lent Sunday yet.
(^2 Prom.^) I am so angry, I'le watch no more to day.
(^1 Prom.^) Faith nor I neither.
(^2 Prom.^) Why then I'le make a motion.
(^1 Prom.^) Well, what ist?
(^2 Prom.^) Let's e'ne goe to the Checker at Queene-hiue
and rost the Loyne of Mutton, till young Flood, then send
the Child to Branford.

(^Enter Allwit in one of Sir Walters Sutes, and Dauy
trussing him.^)

(^All.^) 'Tis a busie day at our House (^Dauy^) .
(^Dauy^) Alwayes the Kursning day Sir.
(^All.^) Trusse, trusse me (^Dauy^) .
(^Dauy^) No matter and you were hang'd Sir.
(^All.^) How do's this Sute fit me (^Dauy^) ?
(^Dauy^) Excellent neatly, my Masters things were euer fit
for you Sir, e'ne to a Haire you know.
(^All.^) Thou hast hit it right (^Dauy^) ,
We euer iumpt in one, this ten yeeres (^Dauy^) ,

(^Enter a Seruant with a Box.^)

So well said, what art thou?
(^Seru.^) Your Comfit-makers Man Sir.
(^All.^) O sweet youth, into the Nurse quicke,
Quicke, 'tis time I faith,
Your Mistris will be here?
(^Seru.^) She was setting forth Sir.
<P 27>

(^Enter two Puritans.^)
 
(^All.^) Here comes our Gossips now, O I shall haue such
kissing worke to day, Sweet Mistris (^Vnderman^) welcome
I faith.
(^1 Pur.^) Giue you ioy of your fine Girle Sir,
Grant that her education may be pure,
And become one of the faithfull.
(^All.^) Thankes to your Sisterly wishes M=r= (^Vnderman^) .
(^2 Pur.^) Are any of the Brethrens Wiues yet come?
(^All.^) There are some Wiues within, and some at
home.
(^1 Pur.^) Verily thankes Sir.
(^Exit.^)
(^All.^) Verily you are an Asse forsooth,
I must fit all these times, or there's no Musicke,

(^Enter two Gossips.^)

Here comes a friendly and familier payer,
Now I like these Wenches well.
(^1 Goss.^) How do'st sirra?
(^All.^) Faith well I thanke you Neighbor, and how do'st
thou?
(^2 Goss.^) Want nothing, but such getting Sir as thine.
(^All.^) My gettings wench, they are poore.
(^1 Goss.^) Fye that thou'lt say so,
Th'ast as fine Children as a Man can get,
(^Dauy^) I as a Man can get,
And that's my Master.
(^All.^) They are pretie foolish things,
Put to making in minutes,
I ne're stand long about 'em,
Will you walke in Wenches?
<P 28>
(^Enter Tuchwood Iunior, and Moll.^)

(^T.I.^) The hapiest meeting that our soules could wish for
Here's the Ring ready, I am beholding vnto your Fathers
hast, h'as kept his howre.
(^Moll.^) He neuer kept it better.

(^Enter Sir Walter Whorehound.^)

(^T.I.^) Backe, be silent.
(^S. Walt.^) Mistris and Partner, I will put you both into
one Cup.
(^Dauy^) Into one Cup, most proper,
A fitting complement for a Gold-smiths Daughter.
(^All.^) Yes Sir, that's he must be your Worships Partner
In this dayes businesse, M=r= (^Tuchwoods^) Brother.
(^S. Walt.^) I embrace your acquaintance Sir.
(^T.I.^) It vowes your seruice Sir.
(^S.Walt.^) It's neere high time, come M=r= (^All-wit^) .
(^All.^) Ready Sir.
(^S. Walt.^) Wil't please you walke?
(^T.I.^) Sir I obey your time.
(^Exit.^)

(^Enter Midwife with the Child, and the Gossips to the
Kursning.^)

(^1 Goss.^) Good M=ris= (^Yellowhammer^) .
(^Maudl.^) In faith I will not.
(^1 Goss.^) Indeed it shall be yours
(^Maudl.^) I haue sworne I faith.
(^1 Goss.^) I'le stand still then.
(^Maudl.^) So will you let the Child goe without company
And make me forsworne.
(^1 Goss.^) You are such another Creature.
(^2 Goss.^) Before me, I pray come downe a little.
(^3 Goss.^) Not a whit, I hope I know my place.
<P 29>
(^2 Goss.^) Your place, great wonder sure, are you any better
then a Comfit-makers wife.
(^3 Goss.^) And that's as good at all times as a Pothicaries.
(^2 Goss.^) Ye lye, yet I forbeare you too.
(^1 Pur.^) Come sweet Sister, we goe in vnitie, and shew
the fruits of peace like Children of the Spirit.
(^2 Pur.^) I loue lowlinesse.
(^4 Goss.^) True, so say I, though they striue more,
There comes as proud behind, as goes before.
(^5 Goss.^) Euerie inch I faith.
(^Exit.^)



