<B CEPLAY3B>
<Q E3 XX COME FARQUHAR>
<N BEAUX STRATAGEM>
<A FARQUHAR GEORGE>
<C E3>
<O 1640-1710>
<M X>
<K X>
<D ENGLISH>
<V PROSE>
<T DRAMA COMEDY>
<G X>
<F X>
<W SCRIPT>
<X MALE>
<Y 20-40>
<H OTHER>
<U X>
<E X>
<J INTERACTIVE>
<I INFORMAL>
<Z X>
<S SAMPLE X>


[^FARQUHAR, GEORGE.
THE BEAUX STRATAGEM, 1707.
MENSTON: THE SCOLAR PRESS,
1972 (FACSIMILE).
PP. 1.3  - 9.14     (SAMPLE 1)
PP. 58.3 - 65.25    (SAMPLE 2)^]

<S SAMPLE 1>
<P 1>
[}ACT I. SCENE I.}]

[}SCENE, AN INN.}]

(^Enter^) Bonniface (^running^) .
(^Bon.^) Chamberlain, Maid, (^Cherry^) , Daughter (^Cherry^) ,  #
all
asleep, all dead?
(^Enter^) Cherry (^running^) .
(^Cherry,^) Here, here, Why d'ye baul so, Father? dy'e think
we have no Ears?
(^Bon.^) You deserve to have none, you young Minx; - The
Company of the (^Warrington^) Coach has stood in the Hall this
Hour, and no Body to shew them to their Chambers.
(^Cher.^) And let 'em  wait farther; there's neither Red-Coat   #
in
the Coach, nor Footman behind it.
(^Bon.^) But they threaten to go to another Inn to Night.
(^Cher.^) That they dare not, for fear the Coachman should      #
overturn
them to Morrow - Coming, coming: Here's the (^London^)
Coach arriv'd.
(^Enter several People with Trunks, Band-boxes, and other
Luggage, and cross the Stage.^)
(^Bon.^) Welcome, Ladies.
(^Cher.^) Very welcome, Gentlemen - Chamberlain, shew the
(^Lyon^) and the (^Rose^) .
(^Exit with the Company.^)
(^Enter^) Aimwell (^in riding Habit^) , Archer (^as Footman
carrying a Portmantle^) .
(^Bon.^) This way, this way, Gentlemen.
(^Aim.^) Set down the things, go to the Stable, and see my
Horses well rubb'd.
(^Arch.^) I shall, Sir.
(^Exit.^)
<P 2>
(^Aim.^) You're my Landlord, I suppose?
(^Bon.^) Yes, Sir, I'm old (^Will. Bonniface^) , pretty well    #
known
upon this Road, as the saying is.
(^Aim.^) O Mr. (^Bonniface^) , your Servant.
(^Bon.^) O Sir - What will your Honour please to drink, as the
saying is?
(^Aim.^) I have heard your Town of (^Litchfield^) much fam'd    #
for
Ale, I think I'll taste that.
(^Bon.^) Sir, I have now in my Cellar Ten Tun of the best Ale
in (^Staffordshire^) ; 'tis smooth as Oil, sweet as Milk,       #
clear as Amber,
and strong as Brandy; and will be just Fourteen Year old
the Fifth Day of next (^March^) old Stile.
(^Aim.^) You're very exact, I find, in the Age of your Ale.
(^Bon.^) As punctual, Sir, as I am in the Age of my Children:
I'll shew you such Ale - Here, Tapster, broach Number 1706.
as the saying is; - Sir, you shall taste my (\Anno Domini\) ;   #
- I
have liv'd in (^Litchfield^) Man and Boy above Eight and fifty  #
Years,
and I believe have not consum'd Eight and fifty Ounces of Meat.
(^Aim.^) At a Meal, you mean, if one may guess your Sense by
your Bulk.
(^Bon.^) Not in my Life, Sir, I have fed purely upon Ale; I
have eat my Ale, drank my Ale, and I always sleep upon Ale.
(^Enter Tapster with a Bottle and Glass.^)
Now, Sir, you shall see
( (^filling it out^) )
your Worship's Health;
ha! delicious, delicious, - fancy it (^Burgundy^) , only fancy  #
it,
and 'tis worth Ten Shillings a Quart.
(^Aim.^)
( (^Drinks.^) )
'Tis confounded strong.
(^Bon.^) Strong! It must be so, or how should we be strong that
drink it?
(^Aim.^) And have you liv'd so long upon this Ale, Landlord?
(^Bon.^) Eight and fifty Years, upon my Credit, Sir; but it     #
kill'd
my Wife, poor Woman, as the saying is.
(^Aim.^) How came that to pass?
(^Bon.^) I don't know how, Sir; she would not let the Ale take
its natural Course, Sir, she was for qualifying it every now    #
and
then with a Dram, as the saying is; and an honest Gentleman
that came this way from (^Ireland^) , made her a Present of a   #
dozen
Bottles of Usquebaugh - But the poor Woman was never well
after: But howe're, I was obliged to the Gentleman, you know.
(^Aim.^) Why, was it the Usquebaugh that kill'd her?
<P 3>
(^Bon.^) My Lady (^Bountyful^) said so, - She, good Lady, did
what could be done, she cured her of Three Tympanies, but
the Fourth carry'd her off; but she's happy, and I'm contented,
as the saying is.
(^Aim.^) Who's that Lady (^Bountyful^) , you mention'd?
(^Bon.^) Ods my life, Sir, we'll drink her Health.
( (^Drinks^) )
My
Lady (^Bountyful^) is one of the best of Women: Her last        #
Husband
Sir (^Charles Bountyful^) left her worth a Thousand Pound a     #
Year;
and I believe she lays out one half on't in charitable Uses     #
for the
Good of her Neighbours; she cures Rheumatisms, Ruptures, and
broken Shins in Men, Green Sickness, Obstructions, and Fits of
the Mother in Women; - The Kings-Evil, Chin-Cough, and
Chilblains in Children; in short, she has cured more People in
and about (^Litchfield^) within Ten Years than the Doctors have
kill'd in Twenty; and that's a bold Word.
(^Aim.^) Has the Lady been any other way useful in her
Generation?
(^Bon.^) Yes, Sir, She has a Daughter by Sir (^Charles^) , the  #
finest
Woman in all our Country, and the greatest Fortune. She has
a Son too by her first Husband Squire (^Sullen^) , who marry'd  #
a fine
Lady from (^London^) t'other day; if you please, Sir, we'll     #
drink
his Health?
(^Aim.^) What sort of a Man is he?
(^Bon.^) Why, Sir, the Man's well enough; says little, thinks   #
less,
and does - nothing at all, Faith: But he's a Man of great       #
Estate,
and values no Body.
(^Aim.^) A Sportsman, I suppose.
(^Bon.^) Yes, Sir, he's a Man of Pleasure, he plays at Whisk,
and smoaks his Pipe Eight and forty Hours together sometimes.
(^Aim.^) And marry'd, you say?
(^Bon,^) Ay, and to a curious Woman, Sir, - But he's a
- He wants it, here, Sir.
(^Pointing to his Forehead.^)
(^Aim.^) He has it there, you mean.
(^Bon.^) That's none of my Business, he's my Landlord, and so
a Man you know, wou'd not, - But - I cod, he's no better
than - Sir, my humble Service to you.
( (^Drinks.^) )
Tho' I value
not a Farthing what he can do to me; I pay him his Rent at
Quarter day, I have a good running Trade, I have but one
Daughter, and I can give her - But no matter for that.
(^Aim.^) You're very happy, Mr. (^Bonniface^) , pray what other
Company have you in Town?
<P 4>
(^Bon.^) A power of fine Ladies, and then we have the           #
(^French^)
Officers.
(^Aim.^) O that's right, you have a good many of those          #
Gentlemen:
Pray how do you like their Company?
(^Bon.^) So well, as the saying is, that I cou'd wish we had as
many more of 'em, they're full of Money, and pay double for
every thing they have; they know, Sir, that we pay'd good
round Taxes for the taking of 'em, and so they are willing to
reimburse us a little; one of 'em lodges in my House.
(^Enter^) Archer.
(^Arch.^) Landlord, there are some (^French^) Gentlemen below   #
that
ask for you.
(^Bon.^) I'll wait on 'em; - Does your Master stay long in
Town, as the saying is?
(^To^) Archer.
(^Arch.^) I can't tell, as the saying is.
(^Bon.^) Come from (^London^) ?
(^Arch.^) No.
(^Bon.^) Going to (^London^) , may hap?
(^Arch.^) No.
(^Bon.^) An odd Fellow this. I beg your Worship's Pardon, I'll
wait on you in half a Minute.
(^Exit.^)
(^Aim.^) The Coast's clear, I see, - Now my dear (^Archer^) ,   #
welcome
to (^Litchfield^) .
(^Arch.^) I thank thee, my dear Brother in Iniquity.
(^Aim.^) Iniquity! prithee leave Canting, you need not change
your Stile with your Dress.
(^Arch.^) Don't mistake me, (^Aimwell^) , for 'tis still my     #
Maxim,
that there is no Scandal like Rags, nor any Crime so shameful   #
as
Poverty.
(^Aim.^) The World confesses it every Day in its Practice, tho'
Men won't own it for their Opinion: Who did that worthy
Lord, my Brother, single out of the Side-box to sup with him
t'other Night?
(^Arch.^) (^Jack Handycraft^) , a handsom, well dress'd,        #
mannerly,
sharping Rogue, who keeps the best Company in Town.
(^Aim.^) Right, and pray who marry'd my Lady (^Manslaughter^)
t'other Day, the great Fortune?
(^Arch.^) Why, (^Nick Marrabone^) , a profess'd Pick-pocket,    #
and a
good Bowler; but he makes a handsom Figure, and rides in his
Coach, that he formerly used to ride behind.
<P 5>
(^Aim.^) But did you observe poor (^Jack Generous^) in the      #
Park last
Week?
(^Arch.^) Yes, with his Autumnal Perriwig, shading his          #
melancholly
Face, his Coat older than any thing but its Fashion, with
one Hand idle in his Pocket, and with the other picking his
useless Teeth; and tho' the Mall was crowded with Company,
yet was poor (^Jack^) as single and solitary as a Lyon in a     #
Desart.
(^Aim.^) And as much avoided, for no Crime upon Earth but the
want of Money.
(^Arch.^) And that's enough; Men must not be poor, Idleness is
the Root of all Evil; the World's wide enough, let 'em bustle;
Fortune has taken the weak under her Protection, but Men of
Sense are left to their Industry.
(^Aim.^) Upon which Topick we proceed, and I think luckily
hitherto: Wou'd not any Man swear now that I am a Man of
Quality, and you my Servant, when if our intrinsick Value were
known - 
(^Arch.^) Come, come, we are the Men of intrinsick Value, who
can strike our Fortunes out of our selves, whose worth is       #
independent
of Accidents in Life, or Revolutions in Government;
we have Heads to get Money, and Hearts to spend it.
(^Aim.^) As to our Hearts, I grant'ye, they are as willing      #
Tits as
any within Twenty Degrees; but I can have no great opinion
of our Heads from the Service they have done us hitherto,       #
unless
it be that they have brought us from (^London^) hither to       #
(^Litchfield^) ,
made me a Lord, and you my Servant.
(^Arch.^) That's more than you cou'd expect already. But what
Money have we left?
(^Aim.^) But Two hundred Pound.
(^Arch.^) And our Horses, Cloaths, Rings, &c. why we have
very good Fortunes now for moderate People; and let me tell
you, besides Thousand, that this Two hundred Pound, with the
experience that we are now Masters of, is a better Estate than  #
the
Ten we have spent. - Our Friends indeed began to suspect that
our Pockets were low; but we came off with flying Colours,
shew'd no signs of want either in Word or Deed.
(^Aim.^) Ay, and our going to (^Brussels^) was a good Pretence
enough for our sudden disappearing; and I warrant you, our
Friends imagine that we are gone a volunteering.
(^Arch.^) Why Faith, if this Prospect fails, it must e'en come  #
to
<P 6>
that, I am for venturing one of the Hundreds if you will upon
this Knight-Errantry; but in case it should fail, we'll         #
reserve the
t'other to carry us to some Counterscarp, where we may die as
we liv'd in a Blaze.
(^Aim.^) With all my Heart; and we have liv'd justly,           #
(^Archer^) , we
can't say that we have spent our Fortunes, but that we have     #
enjoy'd
'em.
(^Arch.^) Right, so much Pleasure for so much Money, we have
had our Penyworths, and had I Millions, I wou'd go to the
same Market again. O (^London, London !^) well, we have had
our share, and let us be thankful; Past Pleasures, for ought I
know are best, such as we are sure of, those to come may        #
disappoint
us.
(^Aim.^) It has often griev'd the Heart of me, to see how some
inhumane Wretches murther their kind Fortunes; those that by
sacrificing all to one Appetite, shall starve all the rest. -   #
You shall
have some that live only in their Palates, and in their sense   #
of
tasting shall drown the other Four: Others are only Epicures in
Appearances, such who shall starve their Nights to make a       #
Figure
a Days, and famish their own to feed the Eyes of others: A      #
contrary
Sort confine their Pleasure to the dark, and contract their
spacious Acres to the Circuit of a Muff-string.
(^Arch.^) Right; but they find the (^Indies^) in that Spot      #
where they
consume 'em, and I think your kind Keepers have much the best
on't; for they indulge the most Senses by one Expence, there's
the Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling amply gratify'd; and some      #
Philosophers
will tell you, that from such a Commerce there arises
a sixth Sense that gives infinitely more Pleasure than the      #
other
five put together.
(^Aim.^) And to pass to the other Extremity, of all Keepers, I
think those the worst that keep their Money.
(^Arch.^) Those are the most miserable Wights in being, they
destroy the Rights of Nature, and disappoint the Blessings of
Providence: Give me a Man that keeps his Five Senses keen and
bright as his Sword, that has 'em always drawn out in their     #
just
order and strength, with his Reason as Commander at the Head
of 'em, that detaches 'em by turns upon whatever Party of       #
Pleasure
agreeably offers, and commands 'em to retreat upon the
least Appearance of Disadvantage or Danger: - For my part I
can stick to my Bottle, while my Wine, my Company, and my
<P 7>
Reason holds good; I can be charm'd with (^Sappho's^) singing
without falling in Love with her Face; I love Hunting, but
wou'd not, like (^Acteon^) , be eaten up by my own Dogs; I      #
love a
fine House, but let another keep it; and just so I love a fine
Woman.
(^Aim.^) In that last particular you have the better of me.
(^Arch.^) Ay, you're such an amorous Puppy, that I'm afraid
you'll spoil our Sport; you can't counterfeit the Passion       #
without
feeling it.
(^Aim.^) Tho' the whining part be out of doors in Town, 'tis
still in force with the Country Ladies; - And let me tell you
(^Frank^) , the Fool in that Passion shall outdoe the Knave at  #
any time.
(^Arch.^) Well, I won't dispute it now, you Command for the
Day, and so I submit; - At (^Nottingham^) you know I am to
be Master.
(^Aim.^) And at (^Lincoln^) I again.
(^Arch.^) Then at (^Norwich^) I mount, which, I think, shall    #
be our
last Stage; for if we fail there, we'll imbark for              #
(^Holland^) , bid
adieu to (^Venus^) , and welcome (^Mars^) .
(^Aim.^) A Match!
( (^Enter^) Bonniface.)
Mum.
(^Bon.^) What will your Worship please to have for Supper?
(^Aim.^) What have you got?
(^Bon.^) Sir, we have a delicate piece of Beef in the Pot, and  #
a
Pig at the Fire.
(^Aim.^) Good Supper-meat, I must confess, - I can't eat Beef,
Landlord.
(^Arch.^) And I hate Pig.
(^Aim.^) Hold your prating, Sirrah, do you know who you are?
(^Bon.^) Please to bespeak something else, I have every thing   #
in
the House.
(^Aim.^) Have you any Veal?
(^Bon.^) Veal! Sir, we had a delicate Loin of Veal on           #
(^Wednesday^)
last.
(^Aim.^) Have you got any Fish or Wildfowl?
(^Bon.^) As for Fish, truly Sir, we are an inland Town, and     #
indifferently
provided with Fish, that's the Truth ont, and then
for Wildfowl, - We have a delicate Couple of Rabbets.
(^Aim.^) Get me the Rabbets fricasy'd.
(^Bon.^) Fricasy'd! Lard, Sir, they'll eat much better          #
smother'd
with Onions.
<P 8>
(^Arch.^) Pshaw! damn your Onions.
(^Aim.^) Again, Sirrah! - Well, Landlord, what you please;
but hold, I have a small Charge of Money, and your House is
so full of Strangers, that I believe it may be safer in your    #
Custody
than mine; for when this Fellow of mine gets drunk, he
minds nothing. - Here, Sirrah, reach me the strong Box.
(^Arch.^) Yes, Sir, - This will give us a Reputation.
(^Aside.
Brings the box.^)
(^Aim.^) Here, Landlord, the Locks are sealed down both for
your Security and mine; it holds somewhat above Two hundred
Pound; if you doubt it, I'll count it to you after Supper;
but be sure you lay it where I may have it at a Minute's        #
warning;
for my Affairs are a little dubious at present, perhaps I may   #
be
gone in half an Hour, perhaps I may be your Guest till the best
part of that be spent; and pray order your Ostler to keep my
Horses always sadled; but one thing above the rest I must beg,
that you would let this Fellow have none of your (\Anno         #
Domini\) ,
as you call it; - For he's the most insufferable Sot - Here,
Sirrah, light me to my Chamber.
(^Exit lighted by^) Archer.
(^Bon.^) (^Cherry^) , Daughter (^Cherry^) ?
(^Enter^) Cherry.
(^Cher.^) D'ye call, Father?
(^Bon.^) Ay, Child, you must lay by this Box for the Gentleman,
'tis full of Money.
(^Cher.^) Money! all that Money! why, sure Father the Gentleman
comes to be chosen Parliament-man. Who is he?
(^Bon.^) I don't know what to make of him, he talks of keeping
his Horses ready sadled, and of going perhaps at a minute's
warning, or of staying perhaps till the best part of this be    #
spent.
(^Cher.^) Ay, ten to one, Father, he's a High-way-man.
(^Bon.^) A High-way-man! upon my Life, Girl, you have hit it,
and this Box is some new purchased Booty. - Now cou'd we find
him out, the Money were ours.
(^Cher.^) He don't belong to our Gang?
(^Bon.^) What Horses have they?
(^Cher.^) The Master rides upon a Black.
(^Bon.^) A Black! ten to one the Man upon the black Mare; and
since he don't belong to our Fraternity, we may betray him with
a safe Conscience; I don't think it lawful to harbour any       #
Rogues
but my own. - Look'ye, Child, as the saying is, we must
<P 9>
go cunningly to work, Proofs we must have, the Gentleman's
Servant loves Drink, I'll ply him that way, and ten to one      #
loves
a Wench; you must work him t'other way.
(^Cher.^) Father, would you have me give my Secret for his?
(^Bon.^) Consider, Child, there's Two hundred Pound to Boot.
( (^Ringing without.^) )
Coming, coming. - Child, mind your
Business.
(^Cher.^) What a Rogue is my Father! my Father! I deny it.
- My Mother was a good, generous, free-hearted Woman,
and I can't tell how far her good Nature might have extended
for the good of her Children. This Landlord of mine, for I
think I can call him no more, would betray his Guest, and       #
debauch
his Daughter into the bargain, - By a Footman too!
(^Enter^) Archer.

<S SAMPLE 2>
<P 58>
[}SCENE, CHANGES TO A BED-CHAMBER IN LADY BOUNTIFUL'S
HOUSE.}]

(^Enter Mrs.^) Sull. Dor. (^undress'd, a Table and Lights^) .
(^Dor.^) 'Tis very late, Sister, no News of your Spouse yet?
Mrs. (^Sull.^) No, I'm condemn'd to be alone till towards four,
and then perhaps I may be executed with his Company.
(^Dor.^) Well, my Dear, I'll leave you to your rest; you'll go  #
directly
to Bed, I suppose.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) I don't know what to do? hey-hoe.
(^Dor.^) That's a desiring Sigh, Sister.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) This is a languishing Hour, Sister.
(^Dor.^) And might prove a Critical Minute, if the pretty       #
Fellow
were here.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Here! what, in my Bed-chamber, at two a Clock
o'th' Morning, I undress'd, the Family asleep, my hated Husband
abroad, and my lovely Fellow at my Feet - O gad, Sister!
(^Dor.^) Thoughts are free, Sister, and them I allow you - So,
my Dear, good Night.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) A good Rest to my dear (^Dorinda^) - Thoughts
free! are they so? why then suppose him here, dress'd like a
youthful, gay and burning Bridegroom. ( (^Here^) Archer         #
(^steals out
of the Closet^) .) with Tongue enchanting, Eyes bewitching,     #
Knees
imploring.
( (^Turns a little o' one side, and sees^) Archer (^in the      #
Posture
she describes^) .)
Ah!
( (^Shreeks, and runs to the other Side of
the Stage^) )
Have my Thoughts rais'd a Spirit? - What are you,
Sir, a Man or a Devil?
(^Arch.^) A Man, a Man, Madam.
(^Rising.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) How shall I be sure of it?
(^Arch.^) Madam, I'll give you Demonstration this Minute.
(^Takes her Hand.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) What, Sir! do you intend to be rude?
(^Arch.^) Yes, Madam, if you please.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) In the Name of Wonder, Whence came ye?
(^Arch.^) From the Skies, Madam - I'm a (^Jupiter^) in Love,
and you shall be my (^Alimena^) .
Mrs. (^Sull.^) How came you in?
<P 59>
(^Arch.^) I flew in at the Window, Madam, your Cozen (^Cupid^)  #
lent
me his Wings, and your Sister (^Venus^) open'd the Casement.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) I'm struck dumb with Admiration.
(^Arch.^) And I with wonder.
(^Looks passionately at her.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) What will become of me?
(^Arch.^) How beautiful she looks - The teeming Jolly Spring
Smiles in her blooming Face, and when she was conceiv'd, her
Mother smelt to Roses, look'd on Lillies - 
(^Lillies unfold their white, their fragrant Charms,
When the warm Sun thus Darts into their Arms.^)
(^Runs to her.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Ah!
( (^Shreeks.^) )
(^Arch.^) Oons, Madam, what d'ye mean? you'll raise the
House.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Sir, I'll wake the Dead before I bear this - 
What! approach me with the Freedoms of a Keeper; I'm glad
on't, your Impudence has cur'd me.
(^Arch.^) If this be Impudence
( (^Kneels^) )
I leave to your partial
self; no panting Pilgrim after a tedious, painful Voyage, e'er
bow'd before his Saint with more Devotion.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Now, now, I'm ruin'd, if he kneels!
( (^Aside^) )
rise
thou prostrate Ingineer, not all thy undermining Skill shall
reach my Heart - Rise, and know, I am a Woman without
my Sex, I can love to all the Tenderness of Wishes, Sighs
and Tears - But go no farther - Still to convince you
that I'm more than Woman, I can speak my Frailty, confess my
Weakness even for you - But - 
(^Arch.^) For me!
(^Going to lay hold on her.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Hold, Sir, build not upon that - For my most     #
mortal
hatred follows if you disobey what I command you now - 
leave me this Minute - If he denies, I'm lost.
(^Aside.^)
(^Arch.^) Then you'll promise - 
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Any thing another time.
(^Arch.^) When shall I come?
Mrs. (^Sull.^) To Morrow when you will.
(^Arch.^) Your Lips must seal the Promise.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Pshaw!
(^Arch.^) They must, they must
( (^Kisses her^) )
Raptures and Paradice!
and why not now, my Angel? the Time, the Place,
<P 60>
Silence and Secresy, all conspire - And the now conscious
Stars have preordain'd this Moment for my Happiness.
(^Takes her in her Arms.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) You will not, cannot sure.
(^Arch.^) If the Sun rides fast, and disappoints not Mortals    #
of to
Morrow's Dawn, this Night shall crown my Joys.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) My Sex's Pride assist me.
(^Arch.^) My Sex's Strength help me.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) You shall kill me first.
(^Arch.^) I'll dye with you.
(^Carrying her off.^)
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Thieves, Thieves, Murther - 
(^Enter^) Scrub (^in his Breeches, and one Shoe^) .
(^Scrub.^) Thieves, Thieves, Murther, Popery.
(^Arch.^) Ha! the very timorous Stag will kill in rutting time.
(^Draws and offers to Stab^) Scrub.
(^Scrub.^)
( (^Kneeling.^) )
O, Pray, Sir, spare all I have and take
my Life.
Mrs. (^Sull.^)
( (^Holding^) Archer's (^Hand^) .)
what do's the Fellow mean?
(^Scrub.^) O, Madam, down upon your Knees, your Marrow-bones - 
He's one of 'um.
(^Arch.^) Of whom?
(^Scrub.^) One of the Rogues - I beg your Pardon, Sir, one of   #
the
honest Gentlemen that just now are broke into the House.
(^Arch.^) How!
Mrs. (^Sull.^) I hope, you did not come to rob me?
(^Arch.^) Indeed I did, Madam, but I wou'd have taken nothing
but what you might ha' spar'd, but your crying Thieves has
wak'd this dreaming Fool, and so he takes 'em for granted.
(^Scrub.^) Granted! 'tis granted, Sir, take all we have.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) The Fellow looks as if he were broke out of      #
(^Bedlam^) .
(^Scrub.^) Oons, Madam, they're broke in to the House with Fire
and Sword, I saw them, heard them, they'll be here this Minute.
(^Arch.^) What, Thieves!
(^Scrub.^) Under Favour, Sir, I think so.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) What shall we do, Sir?
(^Arch.^) Madam, I wish your Ladyship a good Night.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Will you leave me?
(^Arch.^) Leave you! Lord, Madam, did not you command me
to be gone just now upon pain of your immortal Hatred.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Nay, but pray, Sir - 
(^Takes hold of him.^)
<P 61>
(^Arch.^) Ha ha, ha, now comes my turn to be ravish'd. - You
see now, Madam, you must use Men one way or other; but take
this by the way, good Madam, that none but a Fool will give
you the benefit of his Courage, unless you'll take his Love     #
along
with it. - How are they arm'd, Friend?
(^Scrub.^) With Sword and Pistol, Sir.
(^Arch.^) Hush - I see a dark Lanthorn coming thro' the         #
Gallery.
- Madam, be assur'd I will protect you, or lose my Life.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Your Life! no, Sir, they can rob me of nothing
that I value half so much; therefore, now, Sir, let me intreat
you to be gone.
(^Arch.^) No, Madam, I'll consult my own Safety for the sake
of yours, I'll work by Stratagem: Have you Courage enough to
stand the appearance of 'em.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Yes, yes, since I have scap'd your Hands, I can  #
face
any thing.
(^Arch.^) Come hither, Brother (^Scrub^) , don't you know me?
(^Scrub.^) Eh! my dear Brother, let me kiss thee.
(^Kisses^) Archer.
(^Arch.^) This way - Here - 
Archer (^and^) Scrub (^hide behind the Bed.
Enter^) Gibbet (^with a dark Lanthorn in one Hand
and a Pistol in t'other.^)
(^Gib.^) Ay, ay, this is the Chamber, and the Lady alone.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Who are you, Sir? what wou'd you have? d'ye
come to rob me?
(^Gib,^) Rob you! alack a day, Madam, I'm only a younger
Brother, Madam; and so, Madam, if you make a Noise, I'll
shoot you thro' the Head; but don't be afraid, Madam.
(^Laying his Lanthorn and Pistol upon the Table.^)
These Rings, Madam, don't be concern'd, Madam, I have a
profound Respect for you, Madam; your Keys, Madam, don't
be frighted, Madam, I'm the most of a Gentleman.
(^Searching her Pockets.^)
This Necklace, Madam, I never was rude to a Lady; - I have a
Veneration - for this Necklace - 
(^Here^) Archer (^having come round and seiz'd the Pistols,     #
takes^) Gibbet
(^by the Collar, trips up his Heels, and claps the Pistol to    #
his Breast.^)
(^Arch.^) Hold, profane Villain, and take the Reward of thy
Sacrilege.
(^Gib.^) Oh! Pray, Sir, don't kill me; I an't prepar'd.
(^Arch.^) How many is there of 'em, (^Scrub^) ?
<P 62>
(^Scrub.^) Five and Forty, Sir.
(^Arch.^) Then I must kill the Villain to have him out of the   #
way.
(^Gib.^) Hold, hold, Sir, we are but three upon my Honour.
(^Arch.^) (^Scrub^) , will you undertake to secure him?
(^Scrub.^) Not I, Sir; kill him, kill him.
(^Arch.^) Run to (^Gipsey's^) Chamber, there you'll find the    #
Doctor;
bring him hither presently.
(^Exit Scrub running.^)
Come, Rogue, if you have a short Prayer, say it.
(^Gip.^) Sir, I have no Prayer at all; the Government has       #
provided
a Chaplain to say Prayers for us on these Occasions.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Pray, Sir, don't kill him; - You fright me as    #
much
as him.
(^Arch.^) The Dog shall die, Madam, for being the Occasion of
my disappointment. - Sirrah, this Moment is your last.
(^Gib.^) Sir, I'll give you Two hundred Pound to spare my Life.
(^Arch.^) Have you no more Rascal;
(^Gib.^) Yes, Sir, I can command Four hundred; but I must       #
reserve
Two of 'em to save my Life at the Sessions.
(^Enter^) Scrub (^and^) Foigard.
(^Arch.^) Here, Doctor, I suppose (^Scrub^) and you between you
may manage him. - Lay hold of him, Doctor.
Foig. (^lays hold of^) Gibbet.
(^Gib.^) What! turn'd over to the Priest already. - Look'ye,
Doctor, you come before your time; I'ant condemn'd yet, I
thank'ye.
(^Foig.^) Come, my dear Joy, I vill secure your Body and your
Shoul too; I vill make you a good Catholick, and give you an
Absolution.
(^Gib.^) Absolution! can you procure me a Pardon, Doctor?
(^Foig.^) No, Joy. - 
(^Gib.^) Then you and your Absolution may go to the Devil.
(^Arch.^) Convey him into the Cellar, there bind him: - Take
the Pistol, and if he offers to resist, shoot him thro' the     #
Head,
- and come back to us with all the speed you can.
(^Scrub.^) Ay, ay, come, Doctor, do you hold him fast, and I'll
guard him.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) But how came the Doctor?
(^Arch.^) In short, Madam - 
( (^Shreeking without.^) )
S'death! the
Rogues are at work with the other Ladies. - I'm vex'd I
parted with the Pistol; but I must fly to their Assistance. - 
<P 63>
Will you stay here, Madam, or venture your self with me.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) O, with you, dear Sir, with you.
(^Takes him by the Arm and Exeunt.^)

[}SCENE, CHANGES TO ANOTHER APARTMENT
IN THE SAME HOUSE.}]

(^Enter^) Hounslow (^dragging in Lady^) Bountyfull, (^and^)     #
Bagshot
(^halling in^) Dorinda; (^the Rogues with Swords drawn^) .
(^Houn.^) Come, come, your Jewels, Mistriss.
(^Bag.^) Your Keys, your Keys, old Gentlewoman.
(^Enter^) Aimwell (^and^) Cherry.
(^Aim.^) Turn this way, Villains; I durst engage an Army in
such a Cause.
(^He engages 'em both.^)
(^Dor.^) O, Madam, had I but a Sword to help the brave Man?
L. (^Boun.^) There's three or four hanging up in the Hall; but
they won't draw. I'll go fetch one however.
(^Exit.^)
(^Enter^) Archer (^and Mrs.^) Sullen.
(^Arch.^) Hold, hold, my Lord, every Man his Bird, pray.
(^They engage Man to Man, the Rogues are thrown and disarm'd.^)
(^Cher.^) What! the Rogues taken! then they'll impeach my
Father; I must give him timely Notice.
(^Runs out.^)
(^Arch.^) Shall we kill the Rogues?
(^Aim.^) No, no, we'll bind them.
(^Arch.^) Ay, ay; here, Madam, lend me your Garter?
(^To Mrs.^) Sullen (^who stands by him^) .
Mrs. (^Sull.^) The Devil's in this Fellow; he fights, loves,    #
and
banters, all in a Breath. - Here's a Cord that the Rogues
brought with 'em, I suppose.
(^Arch.^) Right, right, the Rogue's Destiny, a Rope to hang
himself. - Come, my Lord, - This is but a scandalous sort
of an Office,
( (^Binding the Rogues together.^) )
if our Adventures
shou'd end in this sort of Hangman-work; but I hope there is
something in prospect that - 
( (^Enter^) Scrub.)
Well, (^Scrub^) ,
have you secur'd your (^Tartar^) ?
(^Scrub.^) Yes, Sir, I left the Priest and him disputing about
Religion.
(^Aim.^) And pray carry these Gentlemen to reap the Benefit of
the Controversy.
(^Delivers the Prisoners to^) Scrub, (^who leads 'em out^) .
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Pray, Sister, how came my Lord here?
<P 64>
(^Dor.^) And pray, how came the Gentleman here?
Mrs. (^Sull.^) I'll tell you the greatest piece of Villainy - 
(^They talk in dumb show.^)
(^Aim.^) I fancy, (^Archer^) , you have been more successful    #
in your
Adventures than the House-breakers.
(^Arch.^) No matter for my Adventure, yours is the principal.   #
- 
Press her this Minute to marry you, - now while she's hurry'd
between the Palpitation of her Fear, and the Joy of her
Deliverance, now while the Tide of her Spirits are at           #
High-flood - 
Throw your self at her Feet; speak some (^Romantick^)
Nonsense or other; - Address her like (^Alexander^) in
the height of his Victory, confound her Senses, bear down her
Reason, and away with her - The Priest is now in the Cellar,
and dare not refuse to do the work.
(^Enter Lady^) Bountifull.
(^Aim.^) But how shall I get off without being observ'd?
(^Arch.^) You a Lover! and not find a way to get off - Let me   #
see.
(^Aim.^) You bleed, (^Archer^) .
(^Arch.^) S'death, I'm glad on't; this Wound will do the        #
Business - 
I'll amuse the old Lady and Mrs. (^Sullen^) about dressing
my Wound, while you carry off (^Dorinda^) .
L. (^Boun.^) Gentlemen, cou'd we understand how you wou'd be
gratified for the Services - 
(^Arch.^) Come, come, my Lady, this is no time for Complements,
I'm wounded, Madam.
L. (^Boun.^) How! wounded!
Mrs. (^Sull.^)
(^Dor.^) I hope, Sir, you have receiv'd no Hurt?
(^Aim.^) None but what you may cure. - 
(^Makes Love in dumb show.^)
L. (^Boun.^) Let me see your Arm, Sir. - I must have some
Powder-sugar to stop the Blood - O me! an ugly Gash
upon my Word, Sir, you must go into Bed.
(^Arch.^) Ay, my Lady a Bed wou'd do very well. - Madam,
( (^To Mrs.^) Sull.)
Will you do me the Favour to conduct me to a
Chamber?
L. (^Boun.^) Do, do, Daughter - while I get the Lint and
the Probe and the Plaister ready.
(^Runs out one way^) , Aimwell (^carries off^) Dorinda          #
(^another^) .
(^Arch.^) Come, Madam, why don't you obey your Mother's
Commands.
<P 65>
Mrs. (^Sull.^) How can you, after what is past, have the        #
Confidence
to ask me?
(^Arch.^) And if you go to that, how can you after what is      #
past,
have the Confidence to deny me? - Was not this Blood shed
in your Defence, and my Life expos'd for your Protection. - 
Look'ye, Madam, I'm none of your (^Romantick^) Fools, that
fight Gyants and Monsters for nothing; my Valour is down
right (^Swiss^) ; I'm a Soldier of Fortune and must be paid.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) 'Tis ungenerous in you, Sir, to upbraid me with
your Services.
(^Arch.^) 'Tis ungenerous in you, Madam, not to reward 'em.
Mrs. (^Sull.^) How! at the Expence of my Honour.
(^Arch.^) Honour! can Honour consist with Ingratitude? if you
wou'd deal like a Woman of Honour, do like a Man of Honour,
d'ye think I wou'd deny you in such a Case?
(^Enter a Servant.^)
(^Ser.^) Madam, my Lady order'd me to tell you that your        #
Brother
is below at the Gate?
Mrs. (^Sull.^) My Brother? Heavens be prais'd. - Sir, he shall
thank you for your Services, he has it in his Power.
(^Arch.^) Who is your Brother, Madam?
Mrs. (^Sull.^) Sir (^Charles Freeman^) . - You'll excuse me,    #
Sir; I
must go and receive him.
(^Arch.^) Sir (^Charles Freeman!^) S'death and Hell! - My old   #
Acquaintance.
Now unless (^Aimwell^) has made good use of his time, all
our fair Machine goes souse into the Sea like the               #
(^Edistone^) .
(^Exit.^)



