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<D CSC>
<V PROSE>
<T DIARY PRIV>
<G X>
<F X>
<W WRITTEN>
<X MALE>
<Y 40-60>
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<S SAMPLE X>

[^THE DIARY OF ALEXANDER BRODIE OF BRODIE, MDCLII-MDCLXXX, AND
OF HIS SON JAMES BRODIE OF BRODIE, MDCLXXX-MDCLXXXV.
SPALDING CLUB. ABERDEEN 1863.

SAMPLE 1: PP. 93.13-107.6 
SAMPLE 2: PP. 309.1-323.17^]


<S SAMPLE 1>
<P 93>
   November 8th. - John Brodie was sick of a boil; and in him   #
he saw 
much of human frailty. My soul was humbled under barrenness,    #
that I 
had not spoken a word for him, or to edify others. Lord,        #
pardon! Something
of the Lord's dealing may be observed in the sickness which we  #
are 
liable unto. Oh that I may understand and learn, and may not    #
be as the 
beast!
   This day the Laird of Grange and John Forbes were agreed.    #
I besought 
the Lord that nothing might stick to me, as if any thing of     #
that kind were
brought to pass by my skill, wisdom, or dexterity. I did        #
before the Lord 
disclaim and renounce all as being nothing, and having nothing  #
to boast of. 
I worshipped the Lord in the variety and freedom of his gifts;  #
that gives
some the gifts of family government, which he withholds from    #
others; and 
to some to take their necessary competent use of their          #
substance, while 
others deny to themselves the things that are convenient and    #
necessary for 
them. This is his gift; and he finds the want of it, and        #
looks up to God, 
that he would supply or be in stead of it. He observes that     #
his heart cannot 
bide long at a resolution against a temptation or a sin; and,   #
in 
particular, in the matter of inordinate desires and coveting:   #
albeit he has 
seen the evil and vanity of that sin, yet, alas! how soon is    #
he carried away 
and intangled, forgetting his resolutions? Here he prayed for   #
Grace, more
Grace, and to be prevented. 
   Saturday, 12th November. - I had been toiling at the Stone:  #
....
<P 94>
Thence the Lord led me to reflect on his Church, and to pray    #
that he would 
repair and make straight her walls, and bless her walls, and    #
erect and finish
them; that there may be no enormity in them, and that they may  #
be for 
holding out ravenous, destroying beasts, and for preserving     #
the trees of his
planting. Take pleasure in thy vineyard yet, and plant and      #
water and 
adorn it, that thou mayst delight in it, and trees may grow up  #
in it, both 
fair to look on, and fruitful; and hedge them up from the       #
violence of beasts. 
Does the poor creature take such care in the dikes and trees?   #
Does he promise
himself a subordinate contentment and pleasure in them? And     #
wilt 
not thou much more take pleasure in thy sweet, pleasant         #
Garden? Wilt 
thou not help what is amiss in it, and dwell in it for ever?    #
Lord, let that 
which he is about be a token to him, that thou wilt yet do      #
that to thy kirk, 
which thou puttest him upon toward his natural habitation and   #
dwelling. 
Oh for faith to believe in thy name for this! and he would not  #
let thee go 
till thou blessest us. 
   13th November. - (\Die Dom.\) It was the great suit of the   #
day, and the  
chief errand and exercise, that the Lord would remember the     #
broken estate of
his Church in these lands and beyond sea; and would consider    #
both the violence 
which the one is under, whereby the Gospel is suppressed,       #
resisted and 
east of, and idolatry set up; and there they have not so much   #
as liberty of profession,
where sometimes he has had a glorious Church; and among us,     #
how 
great our confusions and darkness and differences! so that we   #
are like to be 
devoured of one another. Next, the manifold errors and          #
corruptions that are
crept in in his worship, and no effectual means taken to        #
refrain and punish error
and corrupt doctrine. 2, The society, fellowship, and           #
communion of his Churches
and people broken down, our walls broken down unto the ground.  #
3, The 
carnality of our spirits in employing and making use of         #
discipline, Church-judicatories
and censures. Therefore, that he would heal our breaches, 
build up our walls, knit and unite our minds and affections in  #
the Lord, and 
for him and his truth; take away our carnality and our          #
looseness, dwell 
among us, and set up his tabernacle in these lands; may rid us  #
out if snares
and mistakes in the matter of Ecclesiastick and Civil           #
Government, would 
[\bear\] us forth, and uphold us in this trial, until he grant  #
the desired issue.
This evening I found deadness and indisposedness. Oh that the   #
Lord 
impute it not, and that it be no impediment in the errand of    #
the day to his
Church or my poor soul!
<P 95> 
   14th November. - Reading Phil.iii. 9, 10, 11, 12. I desired  #
to be cast 
down under his unsensibleness, that he finds not any such       #
rare, transcendant 
excellency in the knowledge of Christ, as to count all things   #
but dung for 
him. He counts over much of other things, which is a shrewd     #
sign that he 
counts not so highly of him as he ought. Oh Lord! help and      #
correct this 
error in his judgment, affection, and practice, that he may     #
find that excellency
in the knowledge of his name, that all things else may stink    #
in comparison! 
Want of knowledge in the cause. Oh for some increase and 
growth of this knowledge!
   V. 15. - I desired and besought the Lord to give me and his  #
people the 
understanding of that Word, "If in any thing ye be otherwise    #
minded, God 
shall reveal even this unto you." Give thy people the right     #
use of this 
Word; for it is a ground of differ .... . Here I desired to     #
note and 
write down this prayer, and these tears and observations, that  #
they may be
as a witness betwixt God and me. In the evening my heart smote  #
me 
under Mr. .... Necessity: and I resolved, since he was serving 
me in some measure, I ought (nay, and, albeit he were not, I    #
ought) to 
look to his need, as unto a member and servant of Jesus Christ.
   15th November. - Upon Phil. iv. 11, 12, 13. "I have learned  #
in whatever 
estate to be content. I know how to be abased, &c." My poor     #
soul 
was cast down under the corruption which I found in my heart    #
contrary 
hereto; much disquiet, strong violent lusts, inordinate desires #
and affections,
particularly the covetous desire .... either by removing me     #
from them, 
or them from me; that he would subdue and slay by his Grace,    #
and grant 
that he be not given up to this sin, to be conquer'd and        #
overcome of it. He 
prayed and believed on this Scripture, to be well instructed    #
in every estate;
and, if it had been lawful, he desired to disclaim, nay, and    #
inclin'd to promise
against .... .
   17th. - I went to King-edward, and observed the Lord's       #
Providence in 
dissolving my bargain with John, that thereby he might [\be\]   #
rid of some
impediments, which give occasion of more free exercise of       #
tenderness to the 
poor tenants; and he, in the sense of goodness in it,           #
worshipped and prayed
for strength to improve it. 
   20th. - (\Die Dom.\) It was the exercise of the day, to be   #
humbled under 
the blasphemous raging of the poor man David, who by his        #
hideous and 
<P 96>
blasphemies deafen'd and fill'd my ears. Oh Lord! how much      #
wrath and 
sadness is in this matter! sanctify this ,and pardon for the    #
Lord's sake. 
Further, in regard of the times and relations he stood in,      #
that he might be
guided in his paths, and fill'd not with politick or carnal,    #
but spiritual wisdom 
and understanding; to be well-pleasing to him in all things,    #
and be
strengthened. He sought for Grace to be fitted for suffering.   #
He besought 
the Lord for direction in disposing of his son, to what place   #
he thought 
fittest, and might be for his glory and their good; and         #
desired to be humbled 
under family sins and impenitency; most not repenting, or but   #
unsoundly 
repenting them of their evil ways. The Minister, from Herod's   #
family, 
spoke seasonably, in exhorting to diligence and care over his   #
family; and 
he adored and worshipped the Lord, whose message it was. 
   In the Evening I called for my Son, and exhorted and         #
admonished him to 
self-trial, and to more exactness, sincerity and watchfulness   #
over his heart
and thoughts than ever. He read Jer. xl. The pride and          #
commotion of 
Ishmael, and his murder of Gedaliah, and taking the Jews        #
captive to the 
Ammonites; and desired to remark that passage, for it seems a   #
warning, 
that the poor people of Scotland may be put to suffer harder    #
things from 
their own countrymen, than they have done from strangers.       #
Lord! fit them 
and me for it. Their discontentedness to submit to Babylon,     #
and  their carriage
seems to represent .... .
   21st. - H. Stewart was buried; on which occasions I          #
besought the Lord
to sanctify that object and warning of mortality to me, for my  #
preparation
for death. At night I called for my daughter Grissel; and,      #
after sad and 
grave admonition, reproof and warning, she entred on a new      #
engagement, 
as follows. [\It is written and subscribed with her own hand\]  #
"This night 
my Father carried me before God for my forgetting the           #
resolutions and promises
which I made lately to God. I did confess and take with my      #
hainous
guiltiness, and promised yet again to bewail it and mourn for   #
it before 
God; in p[{articular{] I confess my .... . [\Here she makes a   #
particular
enumeration of her sins.\] This night I purposed against these  #
things, 
and every one of them; and will beseech the Lord's strength     #
and grace for 
that effect, and that for my former dealing with him would not  #
forsake 
me, but would forgive and heal for his own name's sake. For     #
this end I 
employ, and believe in, the Lord Jesus Christ for               #
all-sufficient Grace, without
<P 97>
whom I can do nothing: and, that this night may be remembred,   #
and
my renewed promises (L.L.) [\I subscribe\] this, that it may be #
a witness 
for ever against me in this world, and at the Day of Judgment   #
in the 
World to come.                           GRISSEL BRODIE."
I closed this exercise with supplication; wherein the Lord      #
most sensibly 
and comfortably assisted me: which I took as a token, that he   #
would either 
hear me in the particular, or else would accept of me, and of   #
my desire to 
honour him in my poor children. 
   24th. - For this cause he was bowed down and abased, and     #
sought to have
the spirit of constancy, fortitude, discerning, and of a        #
sound mind poured 
forth; that, in time of the Church's trial, he be not like a    #
beast, all dried
up. This is more grievous than all that can befal him.          #
Deliver him from 
carnal counsel, and let him not be saved by it, but by the      #
name of the Lord. 
Alas, he despaired of seeing the breaches of Scotland and       #
England made
up, and of seeing a settled estate of his Church in these       #
lands, go matters 
as they will! Oh Lord! tho' it should be thus, keep him from    #
despair, and 
every wrong way. Lead him in thy way, albeit he should          #
sacrifice his life 
in it. Oh this is a blind prayer, albeit in some measure from   #
his heart!
   27th. - (\Die Sab.\) It was the great errand of this day, to #
be humbled 
under his unstedfastness of mind, ignorance, unsettledness,     #
wavering, learning
to his own understanding; therefore besought the Lord for more  #
understanding
and light for the right ordering of his ways, in a dark, evil,  #
slippery 
time. Oh the need he stands [\in\] of thy inlightning,          #
quickning, confirming 
Grace! Lord! remember the trial of thy poor Church in these
lands, that our dfferences may bring forth some advantage to    #
religion and 
thy work, and may not end in a perpetual confusion and          #
disorder, and utter
darkness. Oh Lord! prevent. He desired to be humbled under his  #
barrenness,
and the ineffectualness of the word in private and publick. Oh 
Lord! let him find it the Word of Life, and let more life be    #
in it towards 
him, from and thro' the Lord Jesus his Lord! Give a door of     #
utterance, 
and much of thy Spirit and blessing, to him that is sent to us  #
this day, and 
to thy ordinance among us, and in every congregation in the     #
land. 
   29th November, 1653. - My son and nephew went to the         #
College, and 
were uncertain which way or to what place to go. I committed    #
them to the 
Lord's Providence, and believed in his name for mercy and       #
direction to 
them. I did myself go towards Elgine about the Valuations; and  #
my heart 
<P 98>
was afraid of miscarrying, blind, partial, unjust judging:      #
Lord! discover
covetousness, or any seed of unrighteousness in that matter,    #
and prevent 
him. His heart was loose, unsavoury and dull and earthly this   #
morning;
and he desired to be cast down under that exercise, which,      #
thro' heaviness
and slight going about thy worship, he had brought on his       #
soul, and grieved
thy Spirit. Lord! for pardon, and the visitation of thy         #
people! He was 
cast down under his darkness and indifferency, and the trials   #
of the time, 
and differences of the Lord's people. Help in this matter to    #
get thy mind 
and his heart brought to conformity with thy mind. Lead him,    #
thou that 
guidest the blind by a way that they know not. 
   He observed the Lord's Providence anent Thomas M'Phearson,   #
who was 
like to prove for little use; and by that the Lord shewed his   #
thoughts were 
not mine. Help my soul to adore and worship and see and follow  #
thee in 
this teaching Providence.
   3rd December. - My soul was afflicted under the .... . He    #
was 
humbled in the evening, and desired to set his heart in the     #
day following to 
seek the Lord earnestly. 1, For strength against the security   #
and deadness 
that was creeping on; for he is in danger to be overwhelm'd     #
with it, if the 
Lord prevent not. 2, That he may know the time and season, so   #
far as not 
to be ignorant of the Lord's will to him and to his people and  #
the land. It
is thy wisdom to keep up periods, and determin'd things to      #
come, and events, 
from him; but it is thy will that he should understand thy      #
works, so far as 
to learn thy will and his duty. Lord! teach. 3, Lord, he        #
seems to fare the 
worse, since the child went .... , both in the barrenness and   #
dryness 
of his heart in reading the word, and in supplication also.     #
Help and 
quicken; quicken these that join with him, and quicken his      #
Spirit for thy 
name[\'s sake\] . 
 4th. - (\Die Dom.\) Reading 1 Thess. v. 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11,  #
he found the 
Lord merciful in offering that passage for his present secure   #
sleeping condition,
that he may be awakened out of sleep, and walk as a child of    #
the day, 
and prepare for the day of the Lord, because he knows not the   #
time; therefore
to watch, and consider, that he sleep not, nor his feet slip    #
not; but 
walk as in the day: "For they that sleep, sleep in the night,   #
and they that are 
drunk, are drunk in the night;" but I, being of the day,        #
should be sober. 
Lord! give of this spirit of sobriety. I observed that the      #
Lord (as soon as 
be intended to humble himself, and to seek him with all his     #
heart against
<P 99>
deadness, and the desertion that he was under) did prevent      #
him; and, in 
the evening before the day appointed for the exercise, the      #
Lord did in some 
measure loose his bands; therefore he desired to mingle         #
thankfulness with 
his supplications and the duties of the day, and to insist      #
with [\the\] Lord
against heart-habitual security, and for discerning the times,  #
and to be stirred
up to watchfulness and sobriety, that his feet slide not; and   #
for mercy
to these that are weak, dull, ignorant, refractory among us in  #
the family, 
that they may be quickned and healed and turned; and all thro'  #
Jesus
Christ. Lord! point out, and stir up to, the particular duties  #
in which he 
is wanting towards this people, and lead him in thy way, that   #
thou mayest 
do their souls good; but let him not ascribe any thing to       #
means, or to himself;
for he fears that does hinder thy blessing. Lord! sanctify to   #
us the 
sad affliction of the poor distracted man among us, whose       #
distemper was 
yesterday at a great height of blaspheming and execration. In   #
the evening
he was desirous to be much humbled under the wandring thoughts  #
and 
and unstedfastness of the day, and besought the Lord to         #
pardon, and not to 
turn away his ear from my prayer. 
   Matth. xiv. - He resolved solemnly against all liberty;      #
that he would not 
take the liberty he had done, in fostering or countenancing     #
carnal mirth, or 
looking upon it with delight. For the sins of children are the  #
parent's sin 
and punishment; therefore he cries to thee for mercy in thy     #
Son to him 
self .... .
   10th December. - I purposed in the day following to set      #
myself apart to 
seek the Lord for this, that he would cause the Gospel to       #
have a full and 
free course, as in the lands and places where it is not         #
received, so particularly
in this poor country; and would remove the impediments,         #
whether 
guiltiness in us, or external, from these that should further   #
it. 
   11th December. - At the entring to prayer, I found much      #
desertion; and 
when I arose and read the Protester's letter, I found the       #
subject thereof to 
be the same with the work of my spirit to-day; the gaining of   #
souls, and 
progress of the Gospel; and therefore was confirmed in the      #
necessity of this
duty, especially in this place, which is dry, while other       #
places are wet. They 
appoint a Fast third Sabbath of January, and the Wednesday      #
thereafter 
for Thanksgiving, and for supplication and humiliation under    #
the stop that
the Gospel meets with by the want of purging. Their next        #
meeting is in 
second Tuesday of March next, for a Report of Overtures.
<P 100>   
   13th. - We met in Forres about Janet's marriage; and,        #
enquiring severally
what might be the Lord's mind to us in that matter, we all      #
unanimously 
resolved, albeit there was matter of affliction and exercise    #
in it, in 
the distance and separation from us, yet it might prove to the  #
honour of 
God and her good; and  next, we knew not for what end the Lord  #
sent her 
thither, but believed in his name and Providence, that it was   #
for his own 
glory; and therefore we resigned our will to God, and gave up   #
our interests, 
and what was dear to us in that matter, as a sacrifice, an      #
Isaac to 
God; and so committed the prosecution of it to the Lord, and to #
what means 
he thought fit. He observed this day a very cross Providence    #
in our design 
for Mr. William Weir; for after that I had written my letters,  #
upon
the uncertainty of the Earl of Murray's going South, I was      #
forced to change 
all again. He adored and besought the Lord in this, that he     #
would turn 
this to good; and would, by whom it seems good to him, visit    #
this poor dry 
place, and make the savour of Christ more fragrant, strong and  #
precious 
among us, like ointment, to draw many. 
   16th. - He was much exercised with desertion and deadness;   #
partly 
arising from loose and careless walking, irreverent and         #
inconsiderate drawing 
near to God, pride, grieving his Spirit; partly to bear down    #
his
insolence and arrogance, that cannot bear much, and is apt to   #
put duties
in Christ's stead: therefore the Lord finds it necessary thus   #
to exercise and 
humble, that he may be nothing, and base in himself, and the    #
Lord Jesus 
may be all. But oh, alas, how ill is he to learn this! In       #
prayer he had an 
expression, that his delight in his commands, and in obeying,   #
was as sweet 
as any promise or reward; and the best part of heaven would be  #
grace 
made perfect, obedience to the will of God perfected; and he    #
rejoiced in 
this. Further, that wicked men had never, nor found they so     #
much false 
pleasure in sin, as we had time, pleasure, and joy in his       #
service, and in 
enjoying him a moment. Oh Lord! how far from the practice and 
reality of this, albeit praying for it, and professing it to    #
be thus! Oh!
when will he fulfil his profession, and come up to that which   #
he prays for 
and professes. 
   This evening, with Janet, we wondred at the snares which a   #
christian 
had to pass, even when he had overcome lusts and carnal         #
desires. Oh the 
danger of spiritual temptations, vain imaginations,             #
will-worship, errors in
his mind, spiritual pride, not holding by the word. Oh Lord!    #
when my 
<P 101>
soul shall once land on the other side, and have a foot on the  #
bank upon the 
good land, and be set safe there within the port; how shall I   #
look back and 
praise! How fit shalt thou make him to praise, albeit now       #
distempered! 
We concluded, we are apt to fall in many temptations when we    #
were under 
the influence of spiritual inlargements, and never in more      #
danger than at 
that time. We must not put off prayer or duties, albeit not     #
inlarged or 
assisted to them. We must not walk by sense, but by faith;      #
loosness hath 
many fair pretexts, but ends in utter desertion. We must guard  #
against 
spiritual evils, pride, contempt of others, loosness and        #
liberty, or dispensing
with ourselves in duties; and, on the other hand, must not      #
rest "in bodily
exercises which profit little," but study to godliness. Lord!   #
guard, stir up, 
and be thou surety for him. 
   Upon 1 Tim. iv. 2, 8, he desired to be kept and guarded      #
against speaking
lies in hypocrisy, and a feared conscience. Further, to see     #
his aptness
to trust something to bodily exercise, as if godliness did      #
consist therein; 
neglecting true piety towards God, which consists in the        #
exercise of faith
in Christ, for daily growth in sanctification and               #
mortification thro' the 
Spirit, patience, self-denial, approving himself to God,        #
walking in his love
and in obedience; weaned more from the world and sensual        #
things, and 
from covetousness, and love of vanity and creatures. Oh Lord!   #
prevent, 
and heal, and build up, for thy name's sake. 
   December 19th, 1653. - This night Mr. William Ross, after    #
serious consideration
of the necessity and usefulness of the duty, did freely desire  #
to 
renounce himself, and to give up himself, soul, mind, body,     #
spirit, parts, 
abilities, learning, and all he had or should attain unto, to   #
the Lord; and 
consecrated, vowed, and bound himself to the Lord for all his   #
lifetime; and, 
in the faith of the Lord's strength and grace, did roll over    #
his soul's case on 
God, and besought the Lord only to accept, and to put to his    #
seal, and to 
become his God, his all-sufficient God; and did take the Lord   #
witness 
hereof before me, and subscribed this with his heart and hand.
   M. W. Ross.

   December 20th. - I read 1 Tim. vi.1,2, and desired to adore  #
the Lord 
in his wisdom, that had made religion and christianity in       #
servants no
exemption from their duty, subjection, obedience, and           #
reverence to superiors, 
both rulers and masters. Oh Lord! how contrary is this to our   #
wisdom,
that are apt to think that religion looses from these, and      #
gives more liberty?
<P 102>
In the evening he read v. 6, to 11, and there found the very    #
idol of his 
heart described. He worships the Lord in his spirit for this    #
night's warning
against covetousness and love of riches, which is the root of   #
all evil, and 
has drowned many in perdition. Lord! I desire to believe in     #
thy name for 
Grace against the sin, and against the temptations, and         #
snares, and dangers
which this sin leads and draws unto, and has caused many to     #
err from the 
Faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. If I   #
be the 
Man of God, and the Lord's servant, oh how unmeet is it that I  #
should 
serve or be subject to base lusts? "Lord! I am thine; save me!"
   23rd. - I was at Innes; and in deliberating upon their       #
affairs, beside any
external cause, I did perswade them to look to God from whom    #
the distress 
did come. It was not out of the dust; therefore other means     #
would be in 
vain, till this were begun at. Therefore, to labour to humble   #
themselves
under his hand; and to beseech him to turn away his             #
displeasure, to sanctify
the rod, discover the causes why he thus exercises; and that    #
he may remove 
it, if it seem good to him, in his own time: or otherwise to    #
teach and instruct
them by it, that they may profit to his glory and their good. 
   25th. - (\Die Dom.\) He desired to intreat the Lord for      #
mercy to his soul,
that he might not shift his duty, or be ashamed of the Lord in  #
any day of 
trial; but he may be furnished with might and power from the    #
Holy Ghost 
in the inner man, to the contempt of danger and loss, and to    #
the unfeigned
love of the Lord and his truth, and to be guided in it. Next,   #
for mercy to 
his family, that it might have the blessing of Onesiphorus his  #
family; that 
his children may be entailed to the Lord, and that they may     #
worship and 
serve the God of their fathers with a pure conscience. Lord!    #
thou wast
his father's and forefathers' God, and thou art and hast been   #
his God. Oh
that thy mercy, and kindness, and covenant, may be extended to  #
the offspring,
to his children, and the generation rising up; and free Grace   #
in 
Christ make up the want of love and service to his poor         #
children! Further, 
in the matter of his going south with E.M., and his affairs do  #
seem to call 
him. He desires a heart sacrificed and addicted to the will     #
and mind of 
God in this, to be led upon his duty, if any duty ly on him to  #
that man 
whose Curator he is; by thee, by thee only, he desires to go    #
and come. 
   December 25th. - This day at even I did begin to read over   #
this book,
and the exercises which his spirit had been under in former     #
times, and ... .
<P 103>
   26th. - Alas! this evening the poor child Sandie did fall    #
down stairs, to 
the utter hazard of his life. Oh Lord! how soon are our         #
greatest comforts 
darkned and eclipsed! How moderate should our expectations      #
and joys be of 
creature-hopes! Oh the rich and merciful Providence of God,     #
that he was 
[\not\] taken up dead quite; that he lives! And, if he recover, #
shall it not 
be as given from the dead again? My soul besought the Lord for  #
him, that 
he might be restored, and be yet for farther service and use,   #
and for the 
parents comfort and ours in the Lord. Say, Lord! that thou      #
hearest in 
bringing up this child. Oh Lord! discover my sin, and my        #
mother's, or the 
family's or the parents; and teach us by this providence!       #
Lord! let it be 
a sign and pawn of much more mercy to that poor child, of the   #
good thou 
wilt do to him another day! And he desires to take it so. 
   28th. - Captain Dundas came to me from Colonel Blunt,        #
anent my arms. 
I writ sparingly, but in the Shire's letters, and in that       #
thought it was no 
duty, but might prove a snare and sin to these that are in      #
arms, being the 
oft branded enemies of God and his people; and therefore        #
said, he durst not
help them, or strengthen their hands. Dundas told me that, on   #
the Act 
anent Ministers, the Parliament was broke up again, and had     #
resigned their 
power in the General's hands. Oh the wisdom of God! Oh the      #
depths of 
his Providences! Oh so shallow as his understanding is, to      #
conceive of 
these his strange works!
   Psal. xvii. 4. - "Concerning the works of men, by the words  #
of thy 
mouth thou hast kept me from the paths of the destroyers" This  #
unsearchable 
Providence of God is beyond all my understanding. Oh Lord!      #
teach,
guide his spirit in the understanding of these things, and      #
confirm against 
staggering! This evening, being desired to go to Petty to the   #
Earl of 
M[\uray\] , I commended my way to God. 
   December 27th. - the greatest tide and overflowing was of    #
the sea that 
has been seen these 40 years. 19th day of the month, it went    #
over the 
works in Inverness, and the highway there, almost to the top    #
of the bridge, 
and in Findhorn took away some houses, as they said. 29th and   #
30th, I 
was taken away with company so much, that private exercise and  #
fellowship
with God was interrupted. This, this was matter of              #
humiliation; and I 
desire to resolve in his strength against it, and not to give   #
place so much to 
company.
<P 104> 
   31st. - Spynie moved to put Mr. John Urquhart to the Earl    #
of Murray's;
but, in regard of the expedience to put him to the College, I   #
thought it
was most convenient he should go there; but desired direction   #
of the Lord.
I was this day humbled under the Lord's Providence, in          #
suffering Mr Colin 
Campbell as well as the rest to fall in Aberdeen, and not to    #
go to St. Andrew's, 
which I did so earnestly desire. Oh Lord! turn this to their 
good, and let it not be a snare to them, which I fear!
   31st. - I desired to begin the next year, as with an         #
unfeigned acknowledgment
of his ignorance, and impurity, and unsoundness of mind, so     #
with 
supplication to God against these evil lusts; and desire        #
strength in faith to 
lay forth, offer and hold up his heart and mind to the Lord,    #
to receive of his 
oil and anointing, that in the year to come, and through the    #
course of his 
life, his judgment and affections may be guided in the          #
unfeigned love of God
and his Truth. As a new-born babe, he desires on the first day  #
of the new 
year to be accepted in Christ Jesus, who gave himself for me.   #
And now I 
desire to return my soul and mind in an offering to God, as a   #
New Year's
gift. Oh Lord! the hearing and accepting of his desire and aim  #
were a 
new gift indeed! Let thy Grace be renewed with the year, for    #
all the exigencies
of these perilous difficult times, that he may not swere or     #
wander, 
or walk loosly, either by rules of carnal wisdom or vain        #
imaginations, but 
walk in the name of Lord his God for ever! Oh Lord! I am        #
almost 
off my feet; the strange revolutions do so astonish, and        #
amaze, and damish 
[\damp\] his mind; but thou hast said, "Whoso is wise, shall    #
understand these 
things; prudent, and he shall know them: For the ways of the    #
Lord are
right, and the just shall walk in them; but the transgressors   #
shall fall 
therein."
   January 1st, 1654. - this day his sou desired to follow out  #
what he 
intended yesternight, in offering up his mind, and will, and    #
spirit, to be
taught and led by the Lord; and to renounce all other carnal    #
rules, or 
wrong guides. Oh the confusion that his soul was in             #
[\on reading\] 1 Tim. iii.
The fountain of all the evil which he feared was from unpurged  #
out love of 
himself, and covetousness; and therefore besought the Lord      #
against these, 
<P 105>
that they might not blind his mind, and corrupt and win in      #
[\gain ground\]
on his affections. Notwithstanding his fear, suspicion, and     #
jealousy this
day; yet, Oh Lord! reject not, but make good and confirm the    #
request, 
and accept of the free-will offering of his heart this day,     #
that for this year, 
and all his lifetime, he may continue and remain thine, under   #
thy law and 
thy effectual teaching, built on thy sure word, that he stray   #
not! In the 
evening he read Mat. xiv. 22, upon the preposterous carnal      #
affection of 
that people that would have made Christ a King; and from this   #
drew forth 
the evil that honest good affections may lead poor souls into,  #
when they are
not well directed and guided by the word. Never person so fit   #
to be a 
king, and so well gifted for it, and such a friend to the       #
kirk, and to religion;
yet he refused it, and shewed that his kingdom was spiritual.   #
Much of this 
evil is in our head. He looked to God for the acceptance of     #
this day's
offering, and granting of this day's prayer. 
   He heard of the Highlanders' forces approaching, and that    #
they had a 
purpose to seize his person. He desired only to flee in to      #
God, to be found
walking in his way, and he should not be moved at any such      #
tidings. He 
feared no tidings, except the misgiving, and deceit, and        #
declining, carnal 
inclinations and designs, overtures, and reasonings of his      #
heart. Secure 
from this, Oh Lord! and do with him what seems good to thee.    #
He desired
this evening to disclaim any safety he might get by carnal      #
compliance, 
protection from them, or such like; but that all his safety     #
may be from, in, 
and to the Lord; that his heart may be guided and kept in the   #
love of God, 
and due hatred of every appearance of evil. 
   5th. - This day, apprehending the coming down of these men   #
from 
Duthel, as was reported, he desired of the Lord to be           #
instructed, and furnished 
with resolution, how far to proceed with these men, and where   #
to 
stand; for he was jealous of the facilness, unsoundness, and    #
self-love of the 
heart, which, for avoiding trouble, might flatter and stretch   #
itself beyond
measure, to please and comply with these men. Help him to take  #
their 
cause and their persons up aright; for they appear not to       #
him. After humiliation
before God, this was the only resolution, that he should not    #
walk in 
any crafty, deceitful, carnal, double way; but in a plain,      #
sincere, single way: 
and, if he were destroyed, let him be destroyed. Lord, he       #
subscribes to 
<P 106>
this with his whole heart: seal thou it to his soul! 2, Next,   #
Lord, this is 
not enough, for ignorance and simplicity may misguide him,      #
even when he 
is single. Lord, he depends on thee for light and strength, to  #
be guided in 
thy truth, that in thy time thou wilt give a proof of thy       #
love; and that he 
may know by his obedience, that his soul loves, and cleaves     #
to, and believes 
in thee. 
   This night he received Waristoun's Letters of the 16th       #
December in 
answer to mine, and remembered my dream. I desired to be        #
humbled 
under the admonitions and warning therein against loosing       #
from former 
principles, and closing with one or other. He heard that        #
Cromwell was 
declared Protector of these Three Nations with great            #
solemnity; and that for
his lifetime. He adored the Lord, and wondered, and desired to  #
stoop 
down and consider the depth of the Lord's wisdom, and his       #
strange works, 
which are past finding out; and besought the Lord to teach him  #
that which 
he knows not. Every Thursday to remember W. and these with      #
him. 
   6th. - Hearing of the approach of Glencairn and his forces,  #
his heart
grew like a stone, stupid, and without any motion, or life of   #
God. He was 
confused in his resolution, not knowing if it were safest and   #
freest from 
temptations, to stay at home, or to withdraw to the south or    #
north. Being
plunged in this darkness, and not knowing what to follow, he    #
desired to 
mourn and be cast down before the Lord, as a little child;      #
and to hold up
his will and mind unto him, to learn the present duty. Lord,    #
stir up, and 
dispel the confusions and darkness on his mind, and make his    #
path plain
before him. Help him to exercise faith in thy name, for the     #
present strait. 
Sanctify the word of thy providence to his soul this evening,   #
1 John ii.,
15, 16, 17, that the love of the world may not secretly and     #
insensibly sway 
his mind, and blind, and mislead; but he may purely see thee,   #
that art the 
light; for where the love of the world is, there is not the     #
love of God. 
As David said of Keilah, Will they give him up or not?" So,     #
Lord, 
he desires to enqure anent his stay here; or shall he remove    #
or not?
<P 107>
Give forth and signify thy will, for he believes in thy name    #
for this 
particular. 
   7th. - He writ his answer to Waristoun, and told him he      #
feared a sorer 
evil than the taking away of goods or life; and desired his     #
remembrance .
L. Strathnaver came. He read 1 John ii. 24, 27, and prays that  #
that word 
which he heard from the beginning might abide in him. 

<S SAMPLE 2>
<P 309> 
   1671. Januarie 14. - Ther was an storm of wind and rain. I   #
did see
the bruitishness of men, and desird to be affected with it;     #
and the abuses at 
thes peni mariages, and desird to hav it rectified. But I am    #
infected as 
others ar, and ani thing that makes gain to a tenant, I am      #
redi to compli
with it. 
   16. - This day I did again meit with Grang and Innes, at     #
Forres; but 
the Lord, in his providence, maid us meit with new impediments  #
by Gulloden 
his absence, and Kilr=s= [\Kilraok's\] ... I had sharp          #
expostulations 
with Grang for his deceitful dealing in the bargain. 
   17. - I heard from Edinburgh how neir the Bishop Leighton    #
and 
the Nonconformists wer aggreid as to meeting. Lord! ordour it   #
in merci 
for the good of Thy kirk. 
   18. - This day the Presbytry met at Dyk for trying Mr. Jhon  #
Falconer.
He seimd to hav som measur of knowledg and fitnes. I durst not  #
oppos him, 
but consented. Let the Lord ordour it in merci to the yong      #
and old, that 
the generations rising up may be blest in it, and God be        #
honoured. 
   25. - I heard from Mr. Wm. Ross; and he had mani scruples    #
anent Aldern. 
   27. - I spok to Mr. Wm. Ros of the presentation, and I find  #
he was not 
unwilling; but he was kept back by the titl of the digniti;     #
fear that the 
parish would not giv a cal and concurrence, nor the Bishop giv  #
a free 
admission. I durst not press him, but exprest my desir to       #
further him, if 
he had freedom. ... I did efternoon speek with Mr. Jhon         #
Falconer, and 
warnd and exhorted him. Lord! Thou hast the key that opens;     #
Thou 
baptises with the Holy Ghost. 
   30. - I did confer with Mr. Wm. Ros anent the presentation   #
to Aldern, 
and found he might inclin to it, and come ouer al scrupls.      #
But I  durst not 
adviz him to tak the titl and digniti, nor to giv ani oath to   #
the Bishop.
Therfor he writ to Grang to sie if that might be dispend with.  #
... I 
admonished and reprovd Mr. Willim for what I heard of him, as   #
the Lord
gav me utteranc. Oh! I see my frailti and unstedfastnes in      #
him. 
   Febr. 20. - My son did goe to Penick. I did cal for Mr. Jhon #
Falconer, 
at Dyk, and spok to him as the Lord gave me utteranc; enquird   #
if he wer 
born again, how it stood betwixt God and him, exhorted him to   #
tri his estat, 
that he beguil not his oun soul. The tyms ar ill; godlines      #
litl regarded; 
<P 310>
civiliti is not godlines; he would need som thing els. He       #
said he had caus
to search, and promisd to enter in a mor serious consideration  #
of his estat, 
and to be mor diligent. He prayed, and departed. Had thoghts    #
of exhorting 
him to com under personal covenanting with God, and giving up   #
himself to 
Him.
   23. - I reaceavd from Edinburgh that Park was maried. He     #
answerd 
me veri generalli to what I had wrytten and offerd to him. 
   26. - (\Die Dom.\) I spok a word this night to the children, #
Cath. and Eliz=t.= , 
and Cath. Dunbar, and  enquird at them if they desird to serv   #
a good master, 
and wer they willing to giv up themselvs, soul and bodie, to    #
God, to tak him
to be ther father, ther master, ther God, and to ingadg         #
themselves to be his 
children, to doe his wil, that he may serv himself of them      #
qhuilst they lived
in the world. They profesd they desird it, and wer willing. I   #
desird them 
to consider weil of it, that they may never draw back or        #
repent of it. They 
wer the Lord's alreadi. He had right to them by purchas, by     #
creation, by 
his providence, by the covenant of ther baptism, and by the     #
gift that ther 
parents had mad of them to him. They gav nothing of ther oun    #
to him, 
but that which was his alreadi and dear boght and payd for. I   #
leave this 
on Thee, to seal it on ther harts. 
   28. - I heard a report that Park was under som troubl for    #
marying by an 
unconform minister. I desird to be affected with ani thing      #
that befel him. 
   March 6. - I did goe to Penick with my son, and ended som    #
bargains; 
and therafter went up to Leathin, and met with Calder and our   #
friends anent
Marg=t.= Hay and Francis his marriage. Ther wer stops in it.    #
Lord! ordour 
them to good. But they cam to some close, but with som humour.  #
I was 
verie earnest to have the conditions moderat, which he gave. 
   12. - (\Die Dom.\) I heard Thornhil died this morning. 
   22. - I denuded myself of the sheriff's estat this day to    #
himself.  I 
feard inconvenienc becaus it did bear for sumons of money; and  #
I had noe
thing but a trust. Let not this be my hurt or a snar. 
   26. - (\Die Dom.\) I found much corruption, and unsoundnes,  #
darknes. ....
This, and the cace of Aldern and Dyk, was my sor burthen.       #
That the Lord
<P 311>
would shyn in on this dark plac, and breath on thes dead        #
bodies, is one of the
great desirs of my hart. 
   27. - I kept at Forres betwixt the children of Thornhil,     #
and did see how 
carnal affections and self lov blinds and divids the most neer  #
relations. Our 
meiting did not tak the effect we desired at this tyme. 
   April 1. - Mr. Jhon M'Culiken was heir, going to Aberdeen,   #
about his sone. 
   2. - (\Die Dom.\) I desir to be affected with the witherd    #
and dri stat of Dyk
and Aldern. Oh! does ther fall ani rain upon them?
   4. - We did meit at Forres anent the publick matters of the  #
shyr.  I was 
feard for snares, either partialiti or passion; but albeit      #
ther be noe cleannes, 
I found the Lord preventing me. The E. of M. was aswagd         #
somthing 
of his fume. It was laid on me to ordour the rolls, and I       #
found injustic in 
the laying on som parishes (for easing Innes) mor then ther     #
proportion, but 
it was under pretext that they wer much easd by what they had   #
bein befor. 
I doubt of my oun consenting to it, the sinfulnes of it; but I  #
am readi to 
flatter myself as innocent, quhen yet I giv way. 
   8. - Calder cam heir. He heard of the death of his           #
cousin-german, Mr.
Colin Campbel. 
   I heard of acts preparing in Ingland against                 #
Nonconformists. Lord! 
ouer rul thes acts and lawes. 
   11. - I was cald to Granghil, to see my grandchild, Mari     #
Dunbar, under 
heavi sicknes. But I had comfort by her, in seeing som seids    #
of the grac of 
God in her, beyond her age, or the means she has had. Oh! so    #
fre as His
grac is. For this I bles Him. ... I prayed at her desir. ...
   12. - This day Francis and Marg=t.= Hay wer maried. 
   13. - I visited Mr. Ja. Urquhart, who was under some         #
infirmiti. 
... This day ther did fall out a remarkabl accident, neuer to   #
be 
forgoten. The drawbridg at Calder fell, carying in a great      #
stone, and with it 
24 men, and the Laird himself. Some wer hurt; and I desird to   #
observ to 
the prais of God and his merciful providenc. I besoght the      #
Lord to teach
that yong man quhom it concerned, what his mind was by this     #
providence. ...
   15. - Baili Brodi staid heir, and the Sherif cam, and spok   #
of his effairs.
I find he is danger to lose throgh self lov, passions, reveng.  #
I spok to 
him as the Lord gave utteranc, and warnd him against            #
vindictivness, and byends
<P 312>
injustic, and against covetousnes, and making benefit by the    #
poor
peopl. He thankd me, and promisd. 
   17. - Dr. Gordon, Brey, Petgauni, cam heir. I profited litl. #
Brea said 
that the curats wer wors then ... men, nay, then Pharisees,     #
Pilat, or thes
that crucified the Lord. I exprest my dislyk of that            #
expression. 
   I heard of the death of Lochinzeal, in the L. Argyl's        #
house, slain, as is 
thought, by Colonel Jams Menzies. 
   19. - I heard of the death of the Duke of York;  the E. of   #
Panmoor; 
the good laird of Cuninghamhead; the L. Colvil Eagel.           #
Sanctifie thes
warnings to me. 
   20. - This day I spent with the children of Saltoun. ... The #
chaplain, 
Mr. John Buchan, prayd in the famili.
   21. - I spok litl to them of God. ... Altyr cam in this way. #
The 
strangers returned. I found bodili distemper. ... I spoke to    #
Mr. Jhon
Buchan anent the children. ... This night, Marg=t.= Brodi of    #
Teri was 
deliverd of her daughter. 
   32. - I heard of Sir Jhon Gilmor's distemper and sicknes;    #
Sir Lod.
Gordoun's sicknes; the justices commission to tri and punish    #
nonconformists; 
the fear of invasion from France; the discontents in Engl.      #
under burthens.
   23. - (\Die Dom.\) I desired this day, under thes things     #
which I heard
yesterday, and under the sens of my oun deadnes, declining,     #
the Lord 
withdrawing and hiding himself from me, my undescerning,        #
darknes, 
confusions, the reeling of mani, Col. Lockhart's taking the     #
declaration on 
his knees, and his rising, thos in the west desiring an island  #
to goe to Mari 
Island, assignd by the king, and under al the mani confusions,  #
divisions, 
temptation, trials, which the poor kirk of God is under in      #
thes lands; and 
the .... , and am troubld. 
   24. - I did not goe to the shyr's meiting, but withdrew,     #
becaus of the 
contests among them. I did spend some tym betwixt Mr. Wm.       #
Falconer and 
.... . I did see human infirmiti in them, passion, self-lov.    #
Oh! as 
I desir Thou mayst piti me, so piti thos that groan under this  #
burthen. 
Coll. Innes cam hom with me at night, and he told me he was     #
summoned to 
<P 313>
Aberdeen, befor the circuit, for baptizing his child by an      #
deposd minister.
I desird to sympathiz with him, and to hold his cace up to      #
God. I heard he 
was in strait, and I desird to be instructed by it, and to      #
hear burthen with 
him.
  May 7. - (\Die Dom.\) I desird to remember thes that are      #
suffering in this 
plac, and the next shyrs about: That God would over rul ther    #
sufferings, 
and turn them to his glori, and ther good and comfort, and the  #
good of his 
church. 
   11. - Torwoodlie cam heir. ... I was glad, and desird that   #
his coming,
and our societi, may be sanctified. 
   12. - I purposd to meit the judges at Forres, this day, and  #
to invit them
to din. 
   13. I did goe to Forres, and waited on the Lords, who cam    #
heir and dind, 
and mani of the gentlmen with them. Ther was plenti of outward  #
things; 
but our lyf consists not in them; yet, oh! what snares in thes  #
things, and 
apt am I to be puft up with vain glori. 
   14. - (\Die Dom.\) ... I heard of the death of the good Lord #
Riuuen, and 
desird to be instructed and affected rightli by it, that good   #
men ar taken 
away; and is it not from the euil to com? Shall we not lay it   #
to hart? How 
few is ther left in this generation! I considerd how mani wer   #
taken away by 
death of the most eminent and upright, and that seuerals wer    #
exercisd by distemper
of mind, as I heard, of Col. Straquhan, Col. Kerr, Wariston,    #
Mr. Dav. 
Douglas, Mr. Ramsey, now the L. Rivuen, W=m=. Gordon of Lunan,  #
Christian 
Russel.  How mani taken away, by delusion and error, of the     #
most chois 
Christians, especiali at Aberdeen! I desir to consider this,    #
and to be 
sober. ...
   17. - I heard that Torwoodlie was sickli of an excess. I did #
visit him at 
Leathin. He and Mr. R=t.= Martin, and his wyf cam heir with me  #
at 
night. 
   18. - I heard of the poor men that wer fynd at Invernes, for #
not hearing 
the present ministers.  Whateuer be ther errour or darknes,     #
they hav mor
affection, simpliciti, and honesti than I. I desir to bear      #
burthen with them. 
Oh Lord! ouer rul, and lead them out. 
<P 314>
   19. - The lords of the circuit came to Darnway. Mr.          #
Monipenni cam heir. 
torwoodlie took a litl of the exces at night. I desir to be     #
instructed by
it, and to recommend him to God. 
   22. - Mr. Tho. Ross was with me. I heard and saw his lot,    #
and desird to 
understand and be instructed; grac in a great measur, with      #
mean natural 
gifts, straitnd, over-reachd with debt. I cannot enough         #
consider this; keep 
me from stumbling. 
... I heard of the abomination committed by Ross of             #
Invercharran, 
with his oun daughter; that he hang'd a man; livd in adulteri.  #
I desired to 
be affected duli with this, and to be learnd how to lay it to   #
heart, and be
exercisd under it. 
   23. - A poor man did meit me, which fel doun on his knees.   #
The dislyk 
of the postur did mak me hast from him, and quhen I returned,   #
he was gon.
I was chalendgd for not supplying him. 
   24. - I was cald to Leathin, to see Torwoodlie. I appointed  #
Thursday to 
meit with Grang, at Forres again, if the Lord thoght fitt. 
   I knew not what to doe with Park anent the patronag. Lord!   #
be my 
light and strength. I did visit Torwoodlie, at Leathin, and     #
found the 
distemper continu, and he was disturbd about. 
   25. - I was cald to Forres anent the inventaring of Grang    #
his wryts, and 
som thing was don in it. Mr. Th. Urq=t.= was, last night, with  #
me. I heard by 
him of Col. Innes' straits. I desir to be instructed by         #
it. ... Mr. Tho. told me 
of his busines with Mr. Ja. Park, and that he was to serv       #
inhib.  [\inhibitions\]
against him. I desir to be helpd to examin this, and to judg    #
aright.  Even 
how thes things of the world affects the best of men. 
   26. - ... Ther was a poor woman taken for theft. I desir to  #
know
what is the Lord's will in this; to pursu her to death or not,  #
being incorigibl,
and markd for the sam crims befor. 
   27. - I did, at night, goe to Leathin, to see Torwoodlie. 
   31. - Mr. Tho. Ross cam heir. I did somthing in maiters      #
concerning him. 
He said, he as confidentli beleevd that thes min=s.= should be  #
thrust out as the 
light shind. I laid up this, and desird to be instructed. He    #
said, he could 
<P 315>
not defin a tym. I durst not say soe; but I remit it to God.    #
He said, he 
approvd al that was don in the year 1649; yet could not I.      #
Lord! piti me. 
I movd two great difficulties I met with in religion. 1. To     #
construct and 
interpret God's providences aright. 2. What use wit, and        #
natural reason,
and parts may be of in the mysteri of God; and when, and how,   #
and 
quhairin, in what caces, and how far, it is to be made use of.  #
We spok of 
the apostl Paul, the natural  gifts, as weil as the             #
supernatural, quhairwith he 
was indud, the fortitud, stedfastnes, clearnes, confidenc,      #
patienc. 
   June 1. - Innes, Sandsyd, Moortoun, and others, dind heir.   #
I did 
tak ouer great liberti in eating and drinking. Oh! what neid    #
hav I to 
watch! And the Word's unsauori. I heard of the death of Ladi    #
Castelmain: 
that the hous of Northumberland was extinguishd, and the estat  #
and honour 
conferd on that woman, and .... I desir to see and remark the 
Lord in it, and to be instructed. That Barclay was recald from  #
Irland: 
Sir Arthur Forbes and the Bishop of Dublin had commission in    #
his plac. 
I heard of other mutations up and down; that the King of        #
Franc had 
gotten Antwerp. I desir to ador God in his gouerning the        #
world. 
   2. - I spok betwix Duncan Grant and Park. But neither in     #
that
could I effectuat ani agreement. I was burthened with the       #
wilfulnes of 
men, and reverencd God's providenc. ... Park feard that his     #
sister, 
Balnafairis wyf, might fall to be distempered.  I desird to     #
sympathiz with her. 
He spok to me of the patronag, and to get ani part of Penick    #
he pleasd, 
and as if he adhered to the litl minut, notwithstanding that    #
he past from it. 
I said I perceavd he was picking a quarrel with me. I spread    #
the exerceis,
his hart and ways, and myn, befor the Lord. 
   3. - Park writ to me to meit him at Penick, on Monday, and   #
that 
he would propound ouertours for keiping friendship betwix us. I #
returnd
answer, that nothing but our corruptions neided hinder our      #
friendship. The 
inheritanc abov was larg enough to suffic us al. Ther would     #
be noe enui, nor 
use of thes accomodations which disturbd us heir; that we had   #
noe less caus
to long for the one, then to weari of the other. That my        #
friendship and lov
to him should outwear houses and enjoyments heir, and the       #
rocks. Lord! 
I speak this in the singlnes of my heart Thou knows. 
<P 316> 
   4. - (\Die Dom.\) I read somthing of the quaker's opinions,  #
and desir to be 
cast doun under it. This is a sore trial among others. Oh! for  #
the spirit 
of discerning, to cleav to truth, and to be deliverd from       #
error, and corupt
reasoning, and blindnes. ... The objections I met with in       #
Barclay's book
I spread befor God. Giv me what to answer, and let the seid of  #
God be in 
me to know errour from truth.
   5. - I did meit with Park, at Penick. I did see infirmities  #
in .... . The 
best want not ther failings. He took exception at that which I  #
writ, that 
nothing but our corruptions neided interupt our freindship.     #
He movd to 
haue that he might hav the land beneth the way; yet he had      #
past form it. 
This man is an exercis to me. ... I see it difficil, and almost #
impossibl to 
retain this man; yet I desir that nothing may separat me from   #
him in the 
Lord.  
   I did visit Torwoodlie, at Leathin, who was yet under        #
sicknes. I had 
scarc a word of God to him. 
   8. - I desird grac to know the wil of God to me in the       #
patronag; for som 
one or other must be presented. I am to meet about the militia  #
of the parish. 
   10. - Grang declind to present to Aldern. I desir light and  #
counsel in 
this maiter, for I am full of darknes.
   13. - Grang did present Mr. Jhon Cuming to Aldern. I wes     #
content to 
be frie of it, and that I had noe hand in it. 
   14. - I was al night at Kin=d.= Next. ... day, Mr. Wm. Ros   #
cam over, and 
was inclind to accept the Deanrie. I desird to se God's         #
providenc, that he
cam not til the other was presented. I gave him no              #
incouradgment to com
to Aldern, and movd the digniti, which was abjurd. But he had   #
noe bands,
but was readi to com over that. I desird to consider this and   #
to be humbld,
becaus of him and myself. Oh! how does self lov, or a bait,     #
commoditi,
interest, desir, affection, blind. ... I cannot but piti him,   #
and remember that 
I find al the evel that's in him in myself. Oh! so unstedfast   #
as man is. 
Oh! is it possibl ther can be such gifts and such infirmities   #
in one person?
Hav I not caus to fear? I movd to Mr. Wm. if he had not         #
clearnes in 
Aldern, to tak Edinkelie. ... I cam lat home. 
   15. - This day was appointed for a mustering of the men at   #
Lanmoor. 
Ther I did desir to observ what this work would tend to; for    #
it is not 
<P 317>
intended for good. ... I did after visit Torwoodlie, at         #
Leathin, and returnd
at night. 
   16. - Mr. Wil. Ros. cam heir, and declind to tak the         #
deaneri. I reverencd 
the Lord's providenc, both towards him and me, that we were     #
not a snar to
one another. Efternoon, I went to Kinloss for thes arms which   #
wer at 
Findorn, and visited my uncl; but, alac! so carnal and earthli  #
as I fond 
him, and so litl savouring of God or the things above. 
   22. - I spok with Mr. Hugh Ross anent the corruptions of the #
church, 
and corrupt naughti men admitted to the ministeri, nobiliti     #
corrupt and 
degenerat, and general ignoranc and negligenc reigning, and     #
Poperi, implacablnes
of good men to one another, decay of godlines and pieti, and 
growth of profannes and errour. Thes are tokens of God's        #
wrath. ...
   I met with Both, and he spok to me anent Mr. John Cuming to  #
be 
Dean. I said, I would mak no impediment, and I would giv him    #
my 
friendship, if he caried weil, but would not persuad him, and   #
if he had 
scrupls I would not labour to remov them. 
   26. - I did visit Torwoodlie, at Leathin; but alac! so litl  #
useful or 
comfortabl as my visit was, and unsavrie. ... I cam in by       #
Granghil, and 
reprovd him for compelling others to drink. 
   July 8. - I visited Torwoodlie and Ladi Leathin. Both wer    #
sick. I spok
a word to him to enquir what the Lord said by this providenc,   #
and this 
unlookd for affliction. 
   12. - I heard of the Ladi Cassil's purpos to go out of       #
Scotland, and to 
mari a privat man. ... The L. of Calder's daughter, Ann, died. 
   13. - I heard of som slaughter fallen out betwix the L. M'   #
Donald's
friends and the Clan Cameron. 
   15 - I found som stolen trees with Pat. Th. in Dyk, and had  #
caus to 
suspect W. Lard lykwys. I desird to punish ther fault. ...
   19 - My grandchild, Elizabeth, was very sick. I desird to    #
consider 
the Lord's hand on her, and, in her, on us and the famili, and  #
to be instructed. 
Oh! let the Lord sanctifi this rod to me and to the child. 
   20. -  I did send Jhon Anderson to buy picks. I did see      #
matter to 
be humbld in the militia. 1. Men violentlie set it up. 2.       #
Quhat oppression, 
<P 318>
and inequaliti, and an insupportabl burthen. 3. The end and     #
use of it, the 
Lord knowes, or what it will produce. But I desir to reverenc   #
the Lord's
providenc in it, and to be subject; and committ the case of     #
the land and 
euent to God. 
   21. - Mr. Jhon Cuming cam to me, and spok of his             #
presentation to Aldern.
I did express good will to him, but told him he knew I differd  #
in my judgment
from the constitution of the present church government, and,    #
therfor, 
could not adviz him, but left him to get his direction from     #
God and his own 
conscience. He said, he would adviz with his brother Mr. Wm.,   #
but had no 
scruple in his own conscience. 
   26. - ... I heard Will. Dunbar had beat his wyf, and fled to #
tak on to 
be a soldier of Franc. I desir euen to be instructed in         #
this. ...
   30. - (\Die Dom.\) We spok of thacking the kirk. I took      #
liberti to speak 
of it; let it not be sin to me; and wrot anent hether to E. M.  #
I heard 
that Caldcot's son, Patrick Innes, had wilfulli killd Charles   #
Innes, his oun 
brother, from emulation anent the mother's lov to the one mor   #
then the 
other. I desird to consider this sad accident, and be           #
instructed. 
   August 12. - Torwoodlie was with me al night. In the morning #
I spok
to him of the deadnes, decay, and barrennes amongst us, and     #
how just it 
wer with the Lord to bring us low as he had lifted up. 
   18. - I kept at Dyk with the elders in distributing to the   #
poor. The 
minister spok to me of thes who were disconform, and said they  #
had the doctrine 
and ways of the Don=ts.= [\Donatists\] and Cathari. I did deny  #
this, and 
said they had nothing common with them, but wer sound and       #
orthodox, excep
in the maiter of government. He said, Som preachd becaus of     #
that word: 
"Wo to me if I preach not." I said, I feard mani preachd for    #
lov of ther 
stipends, and could be content to quit preaching so that they   #
had ther 
livlihood. He said, We had a sound, abl ministri. I said, We    #
had a 
naghtie, unfaithful ministri, that mad no consciens of ther     #
calling, and the 
teaching and winning in of souls. I spok ferventli, and my      #
heat hinderd
my judgment. Lord! mak that poor man see how litl ground he     #
has 
of peac or ...., and mak me sie the sin and evels of this       #
generation.
   19. - ... I did efternoon goe to Findorn, wher wer som       #
preparations
for the peer. I could discern and see litl of God, goe or doe   #
what I will. 
<P 319>
Tho. Gordon cam heir at night. He told me that Mr. Geo.         #
Meldrum, and Mr.
Menzies, and Mr. Mitchell did communicat with one another in    #
Sacrament 
and prayer in secret, and did not approue the strictnes of      #
others. 
   21. - Mr. Jhon Falconar cam heir this night. The Lord helped #
me with 
some inlargment and sens of a lifles dead ministri, and the     #
public defection.
   22. - The sherif, yesterday, cam to me, and told me his      #
purpose of mariag;
and desird me to meet with him this day and his friends at      #
Mon. I heard 
Mr. Nath. Martin and Mr. J. Steu=t.= wer at Aldern, and         #
preached against 
hearing the ministers, and answered all objections. Oh! I fear  #
my self on 
the one hand and the other. 
   23. - I heard som of the silencd ministers wer at Insoch. 
   24. - The minister[{s{] , Mr. Nath. Martin, Mr. J. Stu=t.=,  #
and Mr.J. Park 
went by uncald for me. I fear my self, becaus thes men's        #
compani ar not 
dearer to me. 
   28. - I was cald efternoon to meit with Grang and others,    #
anent the 
sherif's affairs. I was prest to be cautioner for the sherif    #
for a greater sum
then I intended. Let not this be a snar to me. I desir, in som  #
measur, to 
do it to the Lord; if, by our help, the poor yong man, throgh   #
His blessing, 
may be helped. 
   31. - The sherif and Grang took journey this day south. I    #
heard of great 
opposition which Grante's freinds made to his mariadg with      #
Leathin's
daughter. 
   Sept. 5. - I was burthend with the sin of the plac, frequent #
theiving
and stealing; and I held it up to God that he would restrain    #
it, and discouer, 
and lead me to search and find it out, if it seimed good to     #
him. 
   18. - Mr. Jhon Cuming and his brother's son, Patr., cam to   #
me. I heard 
of Mr. Hutchison, and was glad. I perceavd Mr. Jhon inclind     #
to tak
Aldern, thogh with som reluctanci. I would not advis or desir   #
him; but 
left it to him. Onli I said he should get al the furtheranc     #
from us that we 
could, if he enterd. 
   19. - This day was veri foul, and the Lord seemed to         #
threaten to destroy 
the fruits of the ground. Mr. R. Gordon and Col. Innes was      #
heir. I heard 
the confusions which wer at London about religion; presbytery   #
against 
<P 320>
presbytery, Croftoun and Baker, and the meeting of seueral      #
opinions and 
sects diffring much from another; ther boldnes in upholding     #
and keiping 
ther meetings, and the forbearanc that al got. I desird to      #
consider this, and 
be exercisd with it, and instructed. 
   28. - I heard Brey was heir this night, and Mr. Rob.         #
Gilespi, the son of 
the good Mr. Geo. Gilespi. I had conferenc with them anent the  #
estat of 
the kirk of God in other places; and alac! so desolat and wast  #
as it is laid. 
   29. - Mr. Gillespi and Brey staid al this day also. I found  #
my oun 
declining and securiti creeping on. How am I shaken as to       #
former principls. 
How far short do I com others in zeal, nay, and censur them     #
that goe ani 
thing beyond myself. I desir to be humbld under this; the       #
land's decay, 
and the decay that my soul is falling in. Lord! rais me up,     #
and grant me, 
for Thy nam's sak. From the conscienc of my infirmiti,          #
nigardlines, earthlines, 
straitnedness, and that for my effairs I straiten my self, I    #
purposd, if 
the Lord would giv strenth, and grac, and constanci, and an     #
honest sound
hart, to lay by som money for such uses from tym to tym, and    #
not to touch
it to other uses. Lord! tak snars out of my hart, and way, and  #
inlarg my 
hart to Thee, and in Thee: Wherof this mark shall be a sign     #
and memorial. 
   30. - Bray and Mr. Rob. Gilespi went henc. I might hav       #
profited mor 
by them then I did. 
   I heard Tho. Glas[\'s\] wyf was brought to bed befor her     #
tym; and [\it\]
appeired he had fallen with her ere he maried. 
   Oct. 1. - I warnd the minister that Tho. Glas[\'s\] child    #
was gotten in 
whordom long befor mariag; and that he should, if he thought    #
fit, suspend
the baptism of his child; but he did not think this fitt. 
   Cath. Collace was heer this night. I conferrd with her on    #
her lot by a 
wicked husband; her perplexiti, not grudging to bear, but       #
solicitous to
know dutie. I was dark, yet I promisd to com to Insoch, and     #
sie Mr. Tho.
Hog, and confer with her. Let the Lord giv light. I observ the  #
Lord's
providenc in yoking that child of His and such a croce. 
   5. - ... Ther cam one Mr. Pringl, which cald himself a       #
deposd
minister. He insinuated his condition. Yet I feard whither he   #
was what
he profesd. Bot I look to God, for I need grac to discern and   #
to guid me. 
<P 321>
   6. - I did goe to Elgin with the sherif. It was his head     #
court; and a 
great compani was with him. This is a vanitie under the sun,    #
that is seated
in the hart of man. We did also meit and end the conditions of  #
his mariag
with Sir Lod. Gordon's daughter. 
   16. - Mr. Al=r.= Fordice and his wyf, Anna Meldrum, cam      #
heir. I read a 
lyn from Mr. Geo. Meldrum. He desird that the Lord's work in    #
that plac
might be rememberd. This was exercis to me, to reflect on the   #
Lord's work
in that plac some tym befor, and now marrd. I desir to be       #
instructed about
this, and to wryt of it to Mr. Geo. 
   21. - I heard that the man who cald himself Pringl, and a    #
deposd minister, 
was a counterfit. 
   24. - I heard of the death of old Cantra, and desirs to be   #
instructed, and 
was cald to his burial against the 26. 
   26. - Colloden cam heir, and desird me to recomend him to    #
the President. 
I was straitnd in it; yet I desird not to displeas man, and     #
yeelded. 
Lord! [\let\] it be noe snar to me. I ouerreach myself oft in   #
desiring
to pleas men, and to promot that which concerns them. Oh! that  #
I had 
that cair to pleas the Lord. 
   31. - I did visit Mr. T. Hog, and Cath. Collace, and spok of #
her lot, and 
what was fittest for her to doe. Loth was I to advis to part    #
with a husband. 
I should hear him first, and labour to remov impediments of     #
ther agriement.
   The Master of Duffus did visit me. I did sie the danger of   #
irreuerent 
speaking befor God, and vaunting my oun spirit as prayer. Oh!   #
teach me 
to pray, and giv the spirit which teaches to pray. 
   November 5. - (\Die Dom.\) The E. of Sea[\forth\] cam heir,  #
and din'd. Our 
communication was litl savrie. ... He went from this befor      #
sermon. 
   8. - I did speak betwix Jhon Ross and his wyf, Cath.         #
Collace. Litl 
understanding hav I to discern, or to judg betwix them. But I   #
depend on
God for light from heaven. 
   12 - (\Die Dom.\) I heard Mr. Wal. Kin was to preach, and    #
questiond if 
I should goe, and whither I should hear weak men that talk all  #
out of other
men's books. I cannot answ=r.= this. It is tru they should be   #
fitted as weil as
cald; yet I desir to stoop to evri mean wherby I may be         #
edified, wer it 
reading quhair I can get noe other. ... He spok good words,     #
and such as, 
could I appli them, wer sound and wholsom. 
<P 322>
17. - I heard that Al=r.= , Waristoun's son, had brok, and      #
throgh cheating,
lying, and wrong ways. My brother and others had sufferd much   #
by him. 
I desird to consider this, and be instructed. 1. The son of     #
such a father. 
2. Of such hopes and expectation. 3. His affliction is not so   #
much as his 
sin. 4. Others disapointed of him, that for lov to his father,  #
had born
favour to him. The woman be defild, and took as his wyf, taken  #
hom by
her father. 5. I desird to learn what this said to my poor      #
brother. He 
said and writ to me that it had almost kild him. Lord! unfold   #
this providenc.
   25. - Braco cam heir. I detained him til Monday. Let it be   #
noe snar or
sin to me. For he .... . I heard again of the death of the      #
good Lord
Ruthven, and [\that he\] died in som distemper of melancholie,  #
and his effairs
not in good ordour. I desird to consider, and observe, and be   #
instructed. 
He told, that divers of not conform ministers wer letten        #
preach in the land: 
That the Bishop of St. Andrews cam with 500 hors to the burial  #
of Elcho. 
Latherdal's loosnes. 
   26. - (\Die Dom.\) Braco was with me, and I knew not how to  #
converse 
with him. I heard Haddo was made a lord of session. 
   27. - Mr. William Falconer cam heer, and spok of his selling #
his salmond
fishing. With his insinuations I was almost intangled in a      #
desir to bui. But 
the Lord prevented me. 
   Decr. 8. - Heer cam the sherif, Mr. Jhon M'Culikan, and Mr   #
Rob=t.= 
Gilespie. I reverenc God in this providenc. We ar litl the      #
better of the 
best companie. 
   9. - Spini dind with me, and I spok betwix him and my uncl   #
Francis, 
anent the teinds, but agreied not. Spini spok bitterli of the   #
honest disconform
ministers, and of indulging them. I cannot see good in thes     #
things. 
   10. - (\Die Dom.\) I read anent the Accomodation betwix      #
conforms and not 
conforms. Oh! my darknes and instablnes, and doubtfulnes. Let   #
the Lord
send out light and strenth to guide me, and mak me discern. 
   11. - I went to the burial of the goodwyf of Newtoun. 
   12. - This day I was at the baptizing of the E. of M. his    #
son Francis.
   13. - Mr. Ja. Urquhart was heer this night. 
   14. - The L. of Grant dind heir. The L. of Calder and        #
Leathin writ to 
<P 323>
the E. of M. anent Calder his busines. I took liberti in my     #
discours and 
mirth. Let the sin be taken away through Jesus Christ. I found  #
him a 
soft going man; but what he may yet turn to, the Lord knows. I  #
spok of 
the buying of Balueni to him. Lord! let this be noe snar to     #
him nor us. 
   20. - I heard of the death of yong Cantra, and desird to be  #
affected with 
it, so soon after his father. ... He is as yong as I am or      #
thereby. Shal I 
not tak warning?
   23. - Leathin cam heir afternoon. He invited me to his       #
daughter's mariage, 
or to com the day efter.
   24. (\Die Dom.\) I heard this day by Coubin, younger, that   #
the Ladi 
Latherdale is dead. Let it not be for a judgment to that man.   #
Oh! if he 
belong to Thee, doe him good by it. ... I heard the Princ of    #
Orang was 
restord to his places and dignities, which he had in Holland,   #
at least, which 
his fathers and ther famili had. Lord! turn this to Thy glori,  #
and ouer rul 
thes actions and transactions of men. 
   26. - This day the Lord of Grant was maried to Leathin's     #
daughter, 
Janet Brodie. I desird to hav them and that action on my hart. 



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