<P_116>

<heading>

A PLEASANT DIALOGUE BETWIXT HONEST JOHN AND LOVING KATE .
(PENNY-E3-H,116.3)

THE CONTRIVANCE OF THEIR MARRIAGE AND WAY HOW TO LIVE .
(PENNY-E3-H,116.4)

1685 . ... (PENNY-E3-H,116.5)

</heading>

<font> Jo. </font> Be not angry my dear , (PENNY-E3-H,116.7)

if thou hast not a Smock to thy back I would have thee ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.8)

but in knowing what each other hath , we shall know the better how to
improve it , (PENNY-E3-H,116.9)

do thou the same by me . (PENNY-E3-H,116.10)

<font> Ka. </font> Truly I have but ten pounds my father left me ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.11)

and that is in my Uncle Hodge's hands . (PENNY-E3-H,116.12)

<font> Jo. </font> $'T $is {TEXT:Tis} sure I hope . (PENNY-E3-H,116.13)

<font> Ka. </font> You need not doubt that , (PENNY-E3-H,116.14)

for he $can $not {TEXT:cannot} keep it from me , (PENNY-E3-H,116.15)

and five pound I have gathered since I came to service ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.16)

besides my Mistress owes me above half a years wages .
(PENNY-E3-H,116.17)

<font> Jo. </font> O what a happy man shall I be , (PENNY-E3-H,116.18)

what a good housewife thou hast been , (PENNY-E3-H,116.19)

thou hast good cloathes too . (PENNY-E3-H,116.20)

<font> Ka. </font> They will serve . (PENNY-E3-H,116.21)

<font> Jo. </font> Now Kate I will tell thee what I have ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.22)

my father gave me ten pounds when I came from him , (PENNY-E3-H,116.23)

and told me as I did improve that , he would give me more ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.24)

and with my Masters leave , I have imployed it in his Mault-house ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.25)

and have encreased it ; (PENNY-E3-H,116.26)

besides my master doth owe me my wages ever since I came to him ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.27)

he would not let me have it for fear I should play the ill husband ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.28)

and if I please him , I know he will give me something when I marry ,
(PENNY-E3-H,116.29)

and so will thy Mistriss , will she not ? (PENNY-E3-H,116.30)

<font> Ka. </font> I hope so too . (PENNY-E3-H,116.31)

<font> Jo. </font> Now for the best advantage , thy stock and mine
together , will amount to something ; (PENNY-E3-H,116.32)

and when we have concluded our marriage day , $I $'ll {TEXT:ile} try if
my Master will let me have a little house and ground thou knowest hard
by William Jacksons , (PENNY-E3-H,116.33)

that will make a great house for us , (PENNY-E3-H,116.34)

<font> Ka. </font> And a great Rent too , (PENNY-E3-H,116.35)

what should we do with such a house , (PENNY-E3-H,116.36)

one Room will serve our turn . (PENNY-E3-H,116.37)

<P_117>

<font> Jo. </font> Ay to sleep in my dear . (PENNY-E3-H,117.39)

<font> Ka. </font> But what trade do you intend to drive ?
(PENNY-E3-H,117.40)

<font> Jo. </font> Give me leave (PENNY-E3-H,117.41)

and $I $'ll {TEXT:ile} tell thee , (PENNY-E3-H,117.42)

and if thou wilt help me a little , it will be the better ,
(PENNY-E3-H,117.43)

for two heads are better than one , (PENNY-E3-H,117.44)

we must not-2 take care only-3 for sleeping places , but a place to get
mony in . (PENNY-E3-H,117.45)

<font> Ka. </font> How , that pleases me well to be getting of Money ,
(PENNY-E3-H,117.46)

for I love it dearly . (PENNY-E3-H,117.47)

<font> Jo. </font> I have almost broke my Brains with studying &
contriving , (PENNY-E3-H,117.48)

but now I think I have hit on't . (PENNY-E3-H,117.49)

<font> Ka. </font> $'T $is {TEXT:Tis} long coming out .
(PENNY-E3-H,117.50)

<font> Jo. </font> If my master will let me have the house we will brue
good Ale , (PENNY-E3-H,117.51)

and we will have mault of our own , (PENNY-E3-H,117.52)

for $we $'ll {TEXT:we'l} keep a stock going in my Master's Mault-house
, with his leave , (PENNY-E3-H,117.53)

and there is pasture enough to keep two beasts , and conveniences for
hogs and poultery , (PENNY-E3-H,117.54)

so thou mayest have all things about thee , and keep a maid and live
like a Lady . (PENNY-E3-H,117.55)

<font> Ka. </font> This will be brave indeed John , (PENNY-E3-H,117.56)

but what shall we do with our Ale . (PENNY-E3-H,117.57)

<font> Jo. </font> Sell it my sweet one ; (PENNY-E3-H,117.58)

Let me see , (PENNY-E3-H,117.59)

there are eight rooms in the house besides the Cellar ,
(PENNY-E3-H,117.60)

and with a little painting and a few benches it will be very fine , & a
handsome sign to draw in company . (PENNY-E3-H,117.61)

<font> Ka. </font> What shall that be . (PENNY-E3-H,117.62)

<font> Jo. </font> The three fair maids , I think . (PENNY-E3-H,117.63)

<font> Ka. </font> Not for a hundred pound I would not have such a sign
. (PENNY-E3-H,117.64)

<font> Jo. </font> Why $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} . (PENNY-E3-H,117.65)

<font> Ka. </font> Why man $they $'d {TEXT:they'd} think surely we kept
a bawdy house ... (PENNY-E3-H,117.66)

<font> Ka. </font> What shall $we {TEXT:be} do for Clothes .
(PENNY-E3-H,117.67)

<font> Jo. </font> In troth Kate we will save that money ,
(PENNY-E3-H,117.68)

those that we have will serve very well . (PENNY-E3-H,117.69)

<font> Ka. </font> I think so too . (PENNY-E3-H,117.70)

<font> Jo. </font> Only I will have a hat & a Gold ring for thee .
(PENNY-E3-H,117.71)

<font> Ka. </font> Who shall we bid to our Wedding .
(PENNY-E3-H,117.72)

<P_118>

<font> Jo. </font> All who we can think of , (PENNY-E3-H,118.74)

the more the merrier . (PENNY-E3-H,118.75)

<font> Ka. </font> What Musick shall we have . (PENNY-E3-H,118.76)

<font> Jo. </font> We will have old Rowly and his company .
(PENNY-E3-H,118.77)

<font> Ka. </font> They will make a roaring noise . (PENNY-E3-H,118.78)

<font> Jo. </font> And they will sing well too , to please the young
people ; (PENNY-E3-H,118.79)

why dost laugh , (PENNY-E3-H,118.80)

does the thought of it please thee . (PENNY-E3-H,118.81)

<font> Ka. </font> I laugh to think how the young men will turn the
Lasses about in dancing , and how they will buss them ,
(PENNY-E3-H,118.82)

$me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} I see them already , (PENNY-E3-H,118.83)

but good Jack how shall I do to behave my self at that time amongst so
many ; (PENNY-E3-H,118.84)

I shall be so ashamed I $shall $n't {TEXT:shant} know what to do .
(PENNY-E3-H,118.85)

<font> Jo. </font> Why $pray $thee {TEXT:priethee} all people will
adore thee that day , (PENNY-E3-H,118.86)

and I shall be woundy proud of thee my Dear to see thee sit as a
Virgin-Bride , (PENNY-E3-H,118.87)

and I shall wait upon thee too that same day , as it is my duty .
(PENNY-E3-H,118.88)

<font> Ka. </font> Is that the fashion . (PENNY-E3-H,118.89)

<font> Jo. </font> Yes my dear , (PENNY-E3-H,118.90)

hast thou never observed it at weddings . (PENNY-E3-H,118.91)

<font> Ka. </font> I shall observe my own the more ,
(PENNY-E3-H,118.92)

but you must not look towards me , (PENNY-E3-H,118.93)

for then I shall laugh (PENNY-E3-H,118.94)

and that will shame me quite . (PENNY-E3-H,118.95)

<font> Jo. </font> No my dear a smile sometimes will do well
(PENNY-E3-H,118.96)

$they $'ll {TEXT:they'l} think $there $'s {TEXT:there's} the more love
. (PENNY-E3-H,118.97)

<font> Ka. </font> Must I dance too . (PENNY-E3-H,118.98)

<font> Jo. </font> Ay pretty one , every body will strive to dance with
the Bride . (PENNY-E3-H,118.99)

<font> Ka. </font> $I $'d {TEXT:Ide} rather dance with thee John , than
with them all . (PENNY-E3-H,118.100)

<font> Jo. </font> So thou shalt my dear . (PENNY-E3-H,118.101)

<font> Ka. </font> What Favours shall we give . (PENNY-E3-H,118.102)

<font> Jo. </font> Red and blew I think . (PENNY-E3-H,118.103)

<font> Ka. </font> They will look gloriously , (PENNY-E3-H,118.104)

but all this while who shall lead us to Church . (PENNY-E3-H,118.105)

<font> Jo. </font> Tom Sims , and Roger Blackwel shall lead thee ,
(PENNY-E3-H,118.106)

and Mary Tomkins and Bess Ruglas shall lead me . (PENNY-E3-H,118.107)

<font> Ka. </font> I $shall $n't {TEXT:shant} be able to go along the
street , the folk will so look at me . (PENNY-E3-H,118.108)

<P_119>

<font> Jo. </font> No matter for their looking , (PENNY-E3-H,119.110)

$I $'ll {TEXT:'ile} warrant thee who ever sees thee will wish her self
in the same condition , who are not married already .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.111)

<font> Ka. </font> Will they think you . (PENNY-E3-H,119.112)

<font> Jo. </font> I faith $I $'ll {TEXT:i'l} warrant you .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.113)

<font> Ka. </font> Who shall marry us . (PENNY-E3-H,119.114)

<font> Jo. </font> M. Timson . (PENNY-E3-H,119.115)

<font> Ka. </font> Oh dear he will keep such a do to have me speak out
that I $shall $n't {TEXT:shant} know what to do with my self .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.116)

<font> Jo. </font> Thou must not be ashamed my dear ,
(PENNY-E3-H,119.117)

for it is an honour to be a bride . (PENNY-E3-H,119.118)

<font> Ka. </font> Who shall be my Father to give me .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.119)

<font> Jo. </font> Thou mayest ask Jack Wheeler , (PENNY-E3-H,119.120)

but I know he had rather had thee himself . (PENNY-E3-H,119.121)

<font> Ka. </font> Oh fie no , I will not ask him ,
(PENNY-E3-H,119.122)

he will take it for an affront , (PENNY-E3-H,119.123)

I will rather ask old father Bandol (PENNY-E3-H,119.124)

for he us'd to call me Daughter , (PENNY-E3-H,119.125)

and he will take it kindly . (PENNY-E3-H,119.126)

<font> Jo. </font> Do then . (PENNY-E3-H,119.127)

<font> Ka. </font> Does it not make you ashamed to talk of these things
. (PENNY-E3-H,119.128)

<font> Jo. </font> No I promise thee , (PENNY-E3-H,119.129)

I am proud of it , (PENNY-E3-H,119.130)

and so art thou I believe , but that thou wilt not confess it .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.131)

<font> Ka. </font> I would it were once over . (PENNY-E3-H,119.132)

<font> Jo. </font> So would I , (PENNY-E3-H,119.133)

$I $'d {TEXT:i'd} as live as a groat . (PENNY-E3-H,119.134)

<font> Ka. </font> Who shall make the Sack Posset .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.135)

<font> Jo. </font> The Bride-maids will take care of that .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.136)

<font> Ka. </font> Good lack they will keep such a do when they come in
to eat it , and taking their leaves of us , and throwing the stocking ,
and one thing or other , that I shall wish them all far enough .
(PENNY-E3-H,119.137)

<font> Jo. </font> So shall I (PENNY-E3-H,119.138)

but we must lye the longer next morning . (PENNY-E3-H,119.139)

<font> Ka. </font> But I forgot one thing , (PENNY-E3-H,119.140)

who shall dress me . (PENNY-E3-H,119.141)

<font> Jo. </font> It is a thousand pities but thou shouldst marry ,
thou thinkest of every thing so , (PENNY-E3-H,119.142)

the Bride-maids my dear will dress thee . (PENNY-E3-H,119.143)

<P_120>

<font> Ka. </font> Where shall we lye the next night .
(PENNY-E3-H,120.145)

<font> Jo. </font> In our own house (PENNY-E3-H,120.146)

that will be the best , (PENNY-E3-H,120.147)

and therefore we must furnish it before , and lay in some Ale , that we
may be able to invite all the wedding people to drink with us ,
(PENNY-E3-H,120.148)

and then we shall have good handsel indeed , (PENNY-E3-H,120.149)

and we will also have a good Gammon of Bacon , (PENNY-E3-H,120.150)

and that will make the drink go down merrily . (PENNY-E3-H,120.151)

<font> Ka. </font> What maid shall we have ? (PENNY-E3-H,120.152)

<font> Jo. </font> We will have a lusty wench , who may be able to do
our work , (PENNY-E3-H,120.153)

for fourty shillings the year we may have one ... (PENNY-E3-H,120.154)

<P_147>

<heading>

THE SECRET SINNERS : OR , A MOST PLEASANT DIALOGUE BETWEEN A QUAKER AND
HIS MAID , AND HIS WIFE SARAH . (PENNY-E3-H,147.157)

</heading>

Enters the Quaker . (PENNY-E3-H,147.159)

<font> Quaker . </font> I What a War is there even now , betwixt the
Inward and the Outward Man ! (PENNY-E3-H,147.160)

Satan , Satan , I say unto thee , avoid , (PENNY-E3-H,147.161)

by Yea and by Nay , I charge thee tempt me not : (PENNY-E3-H,147.162)

Oh ! how the Outward Man prevails ! (PENNY-E3-H,147.163)

and I can hold no longer ; (PENNY-E3-H,147.164)

nay , the Light within does say unto me , That Mary is a Sister , and
that Gods Lambs may play , so that they can but keep it secret from the
Wicked ; (PENNY-E3-H,147.165)

therefore Satan , though I defie thee and all thy Works , yet will I go
in unto Mary as I have said : (PENNY-E3-H,147.166)

Mary , why Mary , I say unto thee Mary . (PENNY-E3-H,147.167)

<font> Mary . </font> Here , here , thy Hand-man is even here .
(PENNY-E3-H,147.168)

<font> Quak. </font> Are all the Prophane departed as yet from our
Habitation ? (PENNY-E3-H,147.169)

is there none of the Wicked to observe us ? (PENNY-E3-H,147.170)

<font> Ma. </font> Yea , verily , they are departed ,
(PENNY-E3-H,147.171)

not one of the Children of Perdition remain with us .
(PENNY-E3-H,147.172)

<font> Quak. </font> But as I have said unto thee , I again say unto
thee , where is thy Dame ? (PENNY-E3-H,147.173)

<font> Ma. </font> Even now departed to hold forth amongst the
Congregation of the Righteous , in the full Assembly of the Righteous .
(PENNY-E3-H,147.174)

<font> Qua. </font> What to the Hill of Sion , that the wicked do
prophanely call the Bull-and-Mouth ? (PENNY-E3-H,147.175)

<font> Ma. </font> Yea , verily ; (PENNY-E3-H,147.176)

for having on the sudden a strong Impulse by the operation of the
Spirit , she said unto me , Mary , (PENNY-E3-H,147.177)

and I answered I am here ; whereupon she answered and said , she was
going to instruct our Friends . (PENNY-E3-H,147.178)

<P_148>

<font> Qua. </font> Then Mary , I plainly say unto thee , sit thee down
, (PENNY-E3-H,148.180)

by yea and nay I must Touze thee , (PENNY-E3-H,148.181)

ingeniously I must . (PENNY-E3-H,148.182)

<font> Ma. </font> I fie , Master , fie ; (PENNY-E3-H,148.183)

what $is $'t {TEXT:is't} ye do ? (PENNY-E3-H,148.184)

the Saints ought not to defile each other , (PENNY-E3-H,148.185)

we shall lose our Credit among the Prophaned ; (PENNY-E3-H,148.186)

nay , Master , why Master , O fie ! (PENNY-E3-H,148.187)

wherefore is it you Kiss me so ? (PENNY-E3-H,148.188)

O if my Dame should know on't ! (PENNY-E3-H,148.189)

<font> Qua. </font> I say unto thee , fear not , (PENNY-E3-H,148.190)

fear not I say , (PENNY-E3-H,148.191)

thou art a Sanctified Sister , and one of the Infallible Congregation ;
(PENNY-E3-H,148.192)

and as for thy Dame , I say she is departed ; (PENNY-E3-H,148.193)

therefore Mary , again I say unto thee , that the Spirit within does
move me to refresh thee ; (PENNY-E3-H,148.194)

I burn , (PENNY-E3-H,148.195)

I fry , (PENNY-E3-H,148.196)

and can forbear no longer . (PENNY-E3-H,148.197)

<font> Mary . </font> Oh ! Master , Master , I adjure thee , that thou
forbear , (PENNY-E3-H,148.198)

nay , Master , Master , O Master ! (PENNY-E3-H,148.199)

<font> Qua. </font> By yea and by nay , I charge thee to take patiently
the refreshing of a Brother , when the inward Light says yea .
(PENNY-E3-H,148.200)

<font> Ma. </font> O fie ! (PENNY-E3-H,148.201)

Hast not thee declared among the Brethren , that it shall not be lawful
for a Sister to defile her self ? (PENNY-E3-H,148.202)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea , with the prophaned I hold it is not Lawful ,
(PENNY-E3-H,148.203)

but dost thou conceive that Saints can play with each other ?
(PENNY-E3-H,148.204)

nay , for I say unto thee , if thou dost not thou art not a Sanctified
Sister : (PENNY-E3-H,148.205)

O the motion of the Spirit , how strongly it rises ,
(PENNY-E3-H,148.206)

nay , I must , (PENNY-E3-H,148.207)

I must , (PENNY-E3-H,148.208)

and thou must not at this time say me nay . (PENNY-E3-H,148.209)

<font> Ma. </font> O fie ! (PENNY-E3-H,148.210)

take away thy hand , (PENNY-E3-H,148.211)

what $is $'t {TEXT:is't} thee dost ? (PENNY-E3-H,148.212)

I say unto thee , nay , nay , (PENNY-E3-H,148.213)

I say unto thee nay ; (PENNY-E3-H,148.214)

O let me alone , (PENNY-E3-H,148.215)

why dost thee tempt me to go astray like one of the Wicked ?
(PENNY-E3-H,148.216)

<font> Quak. </font> Thou canst not Err , (PENNY-E3-H,148.217)

therefore prepare thy Vessel to receive the motions that approach unto
thy Tabernacle . (PENNY-E3-H,148.218)

<font> Ma. </font> Yea , now thy Wickedness is entred
(PENNY-E3-H,148.219)

and has put out all the Light within , (PENNY-E3-H,148.220)

nay , now I am left in darkness , (PENNY-E3-H,148.221)

and thou mayest proceed , (PENNY-E3-H,148.222)

now I swim in delight , (PENNY-E3-H,148.223)

O the happiness of us Saints above the rest of the Wicked .
(PENNY-E3-H,148.224)

<font> Q. </font> Yea , Mary , thou hast even said ,
(PENNY-E3-H,148.225)

and now this first refreshment is over , let us wait another motion
from the Light within (PENNY-E3-H,148.226)

and till then , if thou shalt think fit , we will sing a Song of Son .
(PENNY-E3-H,148.227)

<P_149>

<font> Ma. </font> Yea , verily , I would gladly bear a part with thee
, but that I fear my Dame being out of breath with holding forth among
the Brethren , should return , (PENNY-E3-H,149.229)

and then if she find us on the Bed , she will verily conceive that we
have gone astray , and Erred from the Light . (PENNY-E3-H,149.230)

<font> Quak. </font> I say unto thee , fear not , Mary ,
(PENNY-E3-H,149.231)

she knows we $can $not {TEXT:cannot} fall , (PENNY-E3-H,149.232)

nor will she conceive that a Sanctified Sister and a zealous Brother ,
can be wrought upon to act Carnally like the Wicked .
(PENNY-E3-H,149.233)

<font> M. </font> Then if it please thee to begin , thy Hand-maid shall
bear a part , (PENNY-E3-H,149.234)

but be sure let it be such pure Language as is used among our Friends
when assembled at Bull-and-Mouth . (PENNY-E3-H,149.235)

<font> Quak. </font> Yea , Mary , it shall ... (PENNY-E3-H,149.236)

<font> Mary . </font> I say unto thee forbear a while ,
(PENNY-E3-H,149.237)

by yea and nay I hear a noise , (PENNY-E3-H,149.238)

and I fear the Wicked are approaching . (PENNY-E3-H,149.239)

<font> Qua. </font> As thou has said , I hear the same ,
(PENNY-E3-H,149.240)

and do forbear . (PENNY-E3-H,149.241)

Sarah returning from holding forth , speaks as she Enters .
(PENNY-E3-H,149.242)

<font> Sarah . </font> Why Mary , mary {COM:lowercase_in_original} .
(PENNY-E3-H,149.243)

<font> Mary . </font> O Master Master , by and by , nay , $'t $is
{TEXT:'tis} my Dames voice , (PENNY-E3-H,149.244)

whether shall I depart ? (PENNY-E3-H,149.245)

where shall I run to hide myself from Sarah ? (PENNY-E3-H,149.246)

O how I tremble , (PENNY-E3-H,149.247)

I quake , (PENNY-E3-H,149.248)

I shake , (PENNY-E3-H,149.249)

now a fit of the inward man has seized me , (PENNY-E3-H,149.250)

nay , the Light does Whisper in my (PENNY-E3-H,149.251)

and saith unto me , that I have Wronged my Dame . (PENNY-E3-H,149.252)

<font> Quak. </font> Yea , thou hast said , (PENNY-E3-H,149.253)

it is my Yoak-mates voice ; (PENNY-E3-H,149.254)

but fear not , Mary (PENNY-E3-H,149.255)

thou has not erred , (PENNY-E3-H,149.256)

step , (PENNY-E3-H,149.257)

step in there , (PENNY-E3-H,149.258)

step in (PENNY-E3-H,149.259)

and I shall declare unto her that thou , according to the Light , art
praying for a Holy Sister , whom one of the Prophaned caused to go
astray . (PENNY-E3-H,149.260)

<font> Ma. </font> Yea , I shall step , (PENNY-E3-H,149.261)

but see , $she $'s {TEXT:she's} even now Administring unto thee ;
(PENNY-E3-H,149.262)

alas , good Woman , quite out of breath with her loud instructing our
Friends , (PENNY-E3-H,149.263)

but I am safe , (PENNY-E3-H,149.264)

she $can $not {TEXT:cannot} see me now . (PENNY-E3-H,149.265)

<font> Dame . </font> Husband , Husband , I say unto thee , why hast
thou neglected to appear among the Brethren ? (PENNY-E3-H,149.266)

<P_150>

<font> Qua. </font> Sarah , I say unto thee , I have been staid by a
dispondancy , even in the Outward man ; (PENNY-E3-H,150.268)

O the War that it raises between the Flesh and the Spirit !
(PENNY-E3-H,150.269)

hadst thou even beheld what a Grumbling the Outward man kept when the
Light within prevailed against him , by yea and by nay , thou wouldst
have thought me all in a Feavor , (PENNY-E3-H,150.270)

nay , he assaults me yet , (PENNY-E3-H,150.271)

O he rises , (PENNY-E3-H,150.272)

he rises , (PENNY-E3-H,150.273)

O how strong he prevails ! (PENNY-E3-H,150.274)

the Light is half departed , (PENNY-E3-H,150.275)

and dost thou behold again how he strugleth to take away the other part
, and leave a Brother in the Dark . (PENNY-E3-H,150.276)

<font> Dame . </font> Yea verily , I do , (PENNY-E3-H,150.277)

and pitty thee ; (PENNY-E3-H,150.278)

Satan , Satan , I say unto thee , avoid ; (PENNY-E3-H,150.279)

O Holy Man , he strives against the temptations of the Flesh ,
(PENNY-E3-H,150.280)

but where is Mary ? (PENNY-E3-H,150.281)

O Mary , Mary . (PENNY-E3-H,150.282)

<font> Qua. </font> Thine Hand-maid is even praying for a Sister that
is lately gone astray . (PENNY-E3-H,150.283)

<font> Dame . </font> What , with a Brother ? (PENNY-E3-H,150.284)

<font> Qua. </font> Nay . (PENNY-E3-H,150.285)

<font> Dame . </font> With the Wicked . (PENNY-E3-H,150.286)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea verily , thou hast said . (PENNY-E3-H,150.287)

<font> Dame . </font> O Pious Mary , I say unto thee , come forth
(PENNY-E3-H,150.288)

and Administer unto thy Master ; (PENNY-E3-H,150.289)

O how the number of the Ungodly increase ? (PENNY-E3-H,150.290)

come forth I say . (PENNY-E3-H,150.291)

<font> Ma. </font> Lo , thy Hand-maid is even here .
(PENNY-E3-H,150.292)

<font> Dame . </font> Look , look , I say , (PENNY-E3-H,150.293)

nay , again I say unto thee , look , (PENNY-E3-H,150.294)

nay , Administer as a Holy Sister ought unto thy Master , least the
Outward Man prevail against the Light , whilst I even go $to the
Congregation of the Brethren , and exhort them , nay , all our friends
, to pray for a falling Brother , that Satan may not buffet him .
(PENNY-E3-H,150.295)

<font> M. </font> Yea , yea , I shall administer according as thou hast
said . (PENNY-E3-H,150.296)

<font> Qua. </font> O good Wife make haste , (PENNY-E3-H,150.297)

the Flesh grows stronger , (PENNY-E3-H,150.298)

I say unto thee again , make haste , (PENNY-E3-H,150.299)

nay , run , (PENNY-E3-H,150.300)

run unto the Brethren . (PENNY-E3-H,150.301)

<font> Dame . </font> Yea , yea , I shall . (PENNY-E3-H,150.302)

<paren> She goes out . </paren> (PENNY-E3-H,150.303)

<font> Qua. </font> Now Mary I plainly say , thy Dame is again departed
. (PENNY-E3-H,150.304)

<font> M. </font> Yes , verily , thy Hand-maid doth see ,
(PENNY-E3-H,150.305)

and how easily good Woman , she is deceiv'd by the working of the
Inward man ; (PENNY-E3-H,150.306)

nay , Master , Master , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} enough ,
(PENNY-E3-H,150.307)

I dare not wrong my Dame too much , (PENNY-E3-H,150.308)

reserve some refreshment for our Sister Sarah . (PENNY-E3-H,150.309)

<P_151>

<font> Qua. </font> By yea and nay , I say unto thee Mary , by reason
she hath kept all her Light within , and held none forth till now of
late , it has dryed her up , nay , burnt her to a Charcole ;
(PENNY-E3-H,151.311)

and again I say unto thee , she is stricken in years ,
(PENNY-E3-H,151.312)

and regardeth not the Flesh , (PENNY-E3-H,151.313)

therefore Mary , I say I must , (PENNY-E3-H,151.314)

nay , I will , (PENNY-E3-H,151.315)

and if thou deniest the refreshing of a Brother , thou are not worthy
to be called a Sister . (PENNY-E3-H,151.316)

<font> M. </font> Nay , I even see thou are resolved
(PENNY-E3-H,151.317)

and I shall not at this time resist thy good motion ,
(PENNY-E3-H,151.318)

nay , thou mayest do if it shall so please thee . (PENNY-E3-H,151.319)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea , I shall . (PENNY-E3-H,151.320)

<font> Ma. </font> But by yea and nay , if thine Hand-maid prove with
Child , what must be done with the sanctified Babe ?
(PENNY-E3-H,151.321)

<font> Qua. </font> I answer thee , I shall send it to some of our
Friends at Clapham , there to be instructed by a Holy Sister , so that
the prophaned shall not be able to reproach our Congregation with the
same . (PENNY-E3-H,151.322)

<font> Ma. </font> Then I plainly answer thee again ,
(PENNY-E3-H,151.323)

and say , that thine Hand-maid shall as often as the Spirit moves , so
that Sarah nor none of the Wicked observe , prepare her Vessel to
receive thy refreshments : (PENNY-E3-H,151.324)

but now Sarah is returned from the Brethren , (PENNY-E3-H,151.325)

I hear her voice (PENNY-E3-H,151.326)

and must be gone , (PENNY-E3-H,151.327)

or she will observe my rumpled Handkerchief . (PENNY-E3-H,151.328)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea , thou sayest well , (PENNY-E3-H,151.329)

but lay it by (PENNY-E3-H,151.330)

and here is another , (PENNY-E3-H,151.331)

depart not , (PENNY-E3-H,151.332)

I say depart not . (PENNY-E3-H,151.333)

<font> Dame . </font> O Husband , Husband , pray how is it ;
(PENNY-E3-H,151.334)

is the Outward man yet quiet ? (PENNY-E3-H,151.335)

O had you heard the Brethren groan , and Holy Sisters weep , when I
speak , and said that you were fallen from the Light .
(PENNY-E3-H,151.336)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea , verily they have prevailed ,
(PENNY-E3-H,151.337)

Satan is departed for this time , (PENNY-E3-H,151.338)

and thou mayest thank thy Hand-maid too , (PENNY-E3-H,151.339)

for she , like a pious Sister , has been very diligent since thy
departure . (PENNY-E3-H,151.340)

<font> Dame . </font> Yea , I say unto thee , I shall thank her ,
(PENNY-E3-H,151.341)

O Mary , I shall ever commend thee for a sanctified Sister among our
friends , (PENNY-E3-H,151.342)

and now let all our mourning be turned into joy , (PENNY-E3-H,151.343)

yea , we will sing a Hymn for joy the inward Man has wrastled and
prevailed . (PENNY-E3-H,151.344)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea , yea , Sarah ; if thou wilt begin , I and thy
Maid will bear our parts , in spight of all the Wicked ...
(PENNY-E3-H,151.345)

<P_152>

<font> Dame . </font> Now let us part , and rejoyce with our Friends
for the Mastery , that the inward Light has obtained over the Carnal ,
and that thou art not fallen like one of the Wicked .
(PENNY-E3-H,152.347)

<font> Qua. </font> Yea verily , as thou hast said , so it shall even
come to pass ; (PENNY-E3-H,152.348)

Come Mary , we will depart unto the Congregation of those Saints that
be of our Notions . (PENNY-E3-H,152.349)

<font> Ma. </font> Yea , yea , let it even be so ...
(PENNY-E3-H,152.350)

<P_156>

<heading:edcomment:V_JOKES_AND_JESTS>

CANTERBURY TALES . BY CHAUCER JUNIOR . (PENNY-E3-H,156.353)

1687 .

<heading>

THE DEDICATION TO THE BAKERS , SMITHS , MILLERS , AND OTHER READERS .

</heading>

You are presented here with a Choice Banquet of delightful Tales ,
pleasant Stories , witty Jests , and merry Songs to divert the young
Men and Maids when they come to the Bake-house , Forge or Mill ;
(PENNY-E3-H,156.358)

and by these you may encrease your Trade and call Customers to you :
(PENNY-E3-H,156.359)

for be sure the merry Lasses will go where they can be furnished with
Tales , Stories and Jests ; (PENNY-E3-H,156.360)

therefore these are as necessary for you as a fair Wife for a fine
Tavern , a young Hostess for an old Inn , or a Gazet for a Coffee-House
. (PENNY-E3-H,156.361)

It is fitted for all manner of Persons , (PENNY-E3-H,156.362)

therefore I hope you will all furnish your selves with it ;
(PENNY-E3-H,156.363)

for it will be a rare Companion for Old and Young upon many Occasions ;
especially at Christmas , Easter , VVhitsontide , or long Winter
Evenings over a Cup of Nutbrown-Ale and Lambs-wool .
(PENNY-E3-H,156.364)

In a word , you will find it as comfortable as Matrimony , or as sweet
as a Maiden-head at midnight , or a Sack-Posset at the latter end of a
Fire , (PENNY-E3-H,156.365)

what would you have more , (PENNY-E3-H,156.366)

the young Men and Maids may laugh till their Lungs ake ,
(PENNY-E3-H,156.367)

and the old and melancholy , will find Dr. Merryman the best Physitian
. (PENNY-E3-H,156.368)

Farewel . (PENNY-E3-H,156.369)

<heading:edcomment:2>

An unlucky Boy in Canterbury , got a great many a Rams-horns together
in a Basket , (PENNY-E3-H,156.371)

went up and down the streets in VVintertime ; <P_157> crying , $here
$'s {TEXT:here's} choice of new Fruit . (PENNY-E3-H,157.372)

At length , an ancient Gentleman , that was Husband to a Beautiful
young VVife , ask'd to see them , which as soon as he had , he replyed
, you fool , do you think I want Horns ? (PENNY-E3-H,157.373)

no says the Boy , tho' you are provided yet I may meet with some body
that is not : at which several Spectators laught heartily .
(PENNY-E3-H,157.374)

<heading:edcomment:4>

A Young Man and Maid living in Kent , being in Love together , but
Marriage deferr'd by their Friends , by reason of the inequality in the
Maidens Portion : they resolved to steal some private embraces ,
contrary to their Parents knowledge . (PENNY-E3-H,157.376)

And it fell out , they met together at Canterbury , that being a place
pretty far from home , and not much acquainted . (PENNY-E3-H,157.377)

There they took Lodgings at a certain Inn : (PENNY-E3-H,157.378)

but the Man having some small business in the City , fell into Company
, (PENNY-E3-H,157.379)

and night approaching , the young Maid waiting with patience ,
(PENNY-E3-H,157.380)

and no Lover came , (PENNY-E3-H,157.381)

ten a clock strikes , (PENNY-E3-H,157.382)

up stairs she goes , admiring to the House , that her pretended Husband
did not come ; desiring to have a little Sack Posset , thinking he
might eat some after his Journey . (PENNY-E3-H,157.383)

That was made , brought up , and set on the Cupboards head with a
Candle lighted , (PENNY-E3-H,157.384)

she being tyred , goes to Bed (PENNY-E3-H,157.385)

and there waits the happy hour , of her Lovers coming :
(PENNY-E3-H,157.386)

Now you must understand , there comes a Bearheard , that had been newly
landed in the Downs , with three lusty Bears ; which being late was
plac'd in a Stable-Room , just under the floor where the Lovers was to
enjoy themselves : (PENNY-E3-H,157.387)

but one of the Bears winding the Sack Posset ; begins to roar ,
(PENNY-E3-H,157.388)

when scratching the wall and finding it yield , made a large hole just
in the stair-case , (PENNY-E3-H,157.389)

gets through (PENNY-E3-H,157.390)

and up stairs he comes into the Chamber , where the Maid was then
fallen asleep ; (PENNY-E3-H,157.391)

the Bear mounting his two fore-feet on the Cubbord , to get to the
Sack-Posset his claws hung so in the Cubbord-cloath that he pulls down
the Sack Posset , Candle and all , upon him <P_158> which noise
awakened the young Maid , who thinking her Lover was come , started up
on a sudden , (PENNY-E3-H,158.392)

but seeing a hairy thing all on fire as the Bear was , by the Candles
falling upon him : she hid her self under the Bed-cloaths ,
(PENNY-E3-H,158.393)

the Bear by rouling about , at length put out the fire on his back ,
(PENNY-E3-H,158.394)

and falls to licking up the Posset ; which at length , so intoxicated
his Brain , that being disposed to sleep , he leaps on the bed ,
(PENNY-E3-H,158.395)

and their lyes ; the fright whereof , caused our young VVoman to let
fly behind . (PENNY-E3-H,158.396)

In the interim comes in her Lover , who ascending the stairs , half
fluster'd , falls on the Bed , hugging the Bear instead of his
sweetheart ; and begging her Pardon for his long stay :
(PENNY-E3-H,158.397)

but he scented such a smell of bak'd , boyl'd , stew'd and Roasted ,
that he knew not what to think of it ; calling out , my Dear , my Dear
, why doest not speak ? when in the midst of all this Freak , the
Bearheard miss'd his Bear , and looking for him , found the hole ,
where he had made his escape ; comes up stairs with a lighted Torch ,
and three or four belonging to the Inn , discovered the whole intrigue
, to the no small shame of the two Amoretta's . (PENNY-E3-H,158.398)

<heading:edcomment:5>

At a Coffee-house in Canterbury , several Gentlemen were together ;
(PENNY-E3-H,158.400)

one was asking what news they heard from London , (PENNY-E3-H,158.401)

why reply'd , another ; there was forty thousand Men rose yesterday
morning , which made them all to wonder , and ask if he knew for what ,
(PENNY-E3-H,158.402)

yes sayd he , only to goe to Bed when night came : which occasion'd a
great laughter . (PENNY-E3-H,158.403)

<heading:edcomment:6>

In Canterbury , there was a Carpenter that had married a handsome young
wife ; (PENNY-E3-H,158.405)

and he had a Gentleman that had boarded with him , that pretended to
study Astrology ; but no otherwise than to gull the Husband and lye
with his VVife , who had promised him that favour , if he could beguile
the Carpenter . (PENNY-E3-H,158.406)

Now this Gentleman had a Rival , that had a months mind to have a lick
at her <P_159> Honey-pot , (PENNY-E3-H,159.407)

but she hated him (PENNY-E3-H,159.408)

and loved her Boarder . (PENNY-E3-H,159.409)

It happened that the Carpenter miss'd his Boarder upon a time ,
(PENNY-E3-H,159.410)

and searching about , found him in a Cock-loft , looking up toward the
Skie : (PENNY-E3-H,159.411)

$what $'s {TEXT:what's} the matter , quoth he ? (PENNY-E3-H,159.412)

Oh says the Gentleman , I find by Astrology that on Monday next at
quarter-night , there will fall such a Prodigious Rain that Noah's
Flood was not half so great ; (PENNY-E3-H,159.413)

therefore get quickly three Bucking-Tubs that we may get into them ,
(PENNY-E3-H,159.414)

and tye them to the top of the Garret , that we may save our Lives :
(PENNY-E3-H,159.415)

the Carpenter quak'd for fear , (PENNY-E3-H,159.416)

got three Tubs , (PENNY-E3-H,159.417)

and at night , he and his wife and the boarder , climb a Ladder
(PENNY-E3-H,159.418)

and severally get in . (PENNY-E3-H,159.419)

After much sighing , the Carpenter falls asleep , (PENNY-E3-H,159.420)

and the Gentleman and the Landlady , merrily marches to their intended
business : (PENNY-E3-H,159.421)

but while they were at it , the Rival knocks at the door
(PENNY-E3-H,159.422)

and entreats her to grant him a Kiss ; (PENNY-E3-H,159.423)

now , said she to the Boarder , you shall laugh your fill :
(PENNY-E3-H,159.424)

my Dearest quoth she , come close to the window , (PENNY-E3-H,159.425)

and I will be with you immediately : (PENNY-E3-H,159.426)

the Rival wipes his mouth to receive the kiss . (PENNY-E3-H,159.427)

At length , she opens the VVindow , (PENNY-E3-H,159.428)

and desires what he does to do quickly : (PENNY-E3-H,159.429)

now the night was very dark , (PENNY-E3-H,159.430)

and she felt about till she found him , (PENNY-E3-H,159.431)

and to tell the Tale neither better nor worse ; he very savourly kiss'd
her bare Arse . (PENNY-E3-H,159.432)

The Rival cruelly vext ; got a red hot iron , (PENNY-E3-H,159.433)

and comes again , tell her he had brought her a Ring , provided she
would give him another kiss ; (PENNY-E3-H,159.434)

and the Boarder thinking to encrease the sport , places his Arse out at
the same window ; which his Rival did singe and burn , that he cried
out , water , water , water ; at which , the poor Carpenter thinking
that Noah's Flood was come , starts on a sudden , out of the
Bucking-Tub , fell upon the floor , broke his noddle , bepiss'd his
Breeches ; and at length discovers all the intreague .
(PENNY-E3-H,159.435)

<heading:edcomment:7>

A VVoman sitting with Fish in Canterbury Market , would always have a
saying to Men when they came to buy any thing : (PENNY-E3-H,159.437)

As a <P_160> Man was cheapning her Fish , says she to him , as you
intend to have some of my Fish in your Belly , so I would fain have
some of your Flesh in my Belly ; (PENNY-E3-H,160.438)

no says he , I $can $n't {TEXT:can't} spare my Flesh to such an ugly
Puss as you : (PENNY-E3-H,160.439)

No , No , reply'd she , I did not mean as you mean ,
(PENNY-E3-H,160.440)

I mean your nose in my Arse . (PENNY-E3-H,160.441)

<heading:edcomment:11>

A beautiful young Gentlewoman of Canterbury , being wedded to an old
Man in respect of his Riches , he being as full of Ice , as she of Fire
, had a mind to try the difference between young and old Flesh ,
(PENNY-E3-H,160.443)

shewed some Kindness more than ordinary to her Serving-man ; which he
perceiving , lays hold of all Opportunities to address himself to her
by way of Love ; (PENNY-E3-H,160.444)

but she would not yield to his Desire , unless he would contrive some
way to cornute her Husband in his presence and he not to believe it ,
(PENNY-E3-H,160.445)

this caused the Serving-man to stretch his Invention upon the Rack ,
who at last acquainted his Mistress that he had found an Experiment to
do it , provided she would when her Husband and she was a walking in
the Garden , pretend to Long for some Fruit on some of the highest
Trees , and to leave to him the management of the rest , which
accordingly she did : (PENNY-E3-H,160.446)

The old Man calling his Man to ascend the Tree to gather the Fruit ;
which , as soon as he had got up , cryed out with a loud Voice , Master
, Master , leave off for shame , (PENNY-E3-H,160.447)

I never in all my life see so unseemly an Action , (PENNY-E3-H,160.448)

for shame disengage your self from my Mistress , (PENNY-E3-H,160.449)

or else some of the Neighbours will see you : (PENNY-E3-H,160.450)

the old Man amazed at this Language , asked if the Fellow was mad , and
what he meant ? (PENNY-E3-H,160.451)

O Sir , said the Man , the Tree is either bewitched ,
(PENNY-E3-H,160.452)

or else I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} believe mine own Eyes ;
(PENNY-E3-H,160.453)

for I fancy I see you upon my Mistress . (PENNY-E3-H,160.454)

Come down , (PENNY-E3-H,160.455)

come down , (PENNY-E3-H,160.456)

and let me get up the Tree to know if , it seems so to me ;
(PENNY-E3-H,160.457)

the Fellow comes down (PENNY-E3-H,160.458)

and the old Man gets up : (PENNY-E3-H,160.459)

in the Interim , the young Fellow fell to work with his Mistress ,
(PENNY-E3-H,160.460)

the old Man looks down (PENNY-E3-H,160.461)

and sees it , (PENNY-E3-H,160.462)

<P_161>

cries out , (PENNY-E3-H,161.464)

in good Faith says he , it seems to me just as it did to you ,
(PENNY-E3-H,161.465)

for $me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} I see you upon your Mistress as
perfectly as if it was really so : (PENNY-E3-H,161.466)

the old Man gets down (PENNY-E3-H,161.467)

and thinks the Tree bewitched ; (PENNY-E3-H,161.468)

orders presently to be cut down , for fear it should infect the rest .
(PENNY-E3-H,161.469)

Thus was the old Man made a Cuckold to his own Face
(PENNY-E3-H,161.470)

and would not believe it . (PENNY-E3-H,161.471)

<heading:edcomment:15>

A married Gentleman coming through Canterbury , his Horse threw him ,
which a young Gentlewoman seeing , fell a laughing ;
(PENNY-E3-H,161.473)

the Man being terribly vext that she should laugh at his fall , angerly
said , Madam , pray admire not at this , (PENNY-E3-H,161.474)

for my Horse always stumbles when he meets a Whore ;
(PENNY-E3-H,161.475)

she sharply reply'd , have a care then Sir , you do not meet your Wife
, (PENNY-E3-H,161.476)

for then you will certainly break your neck . (PENNY-E3-H,161.477)

<P_267>

<heading>

TOM THE TAYLOR . (PENNY-E3-H,267.480)

1684 . (PENNY-E3-H,267.481)

A MERRY DIALOGUE BETWEEN TOM THE TAYLOR , AND HIS MAID JOAN .

</heading>

<font> Tom . </font> Hark ye Joan , (PENNY-E3-H,267.484)

what a Clock is it ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.485)

is not dinner ready yet , (PENNY-E3-H,267.486)

$me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} I begin to be hungry ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.487)

<font> Joan . </font> Marry come up , (PENNY-E3-H,267.488)

be you hungry already ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.489)

it is not yet eleven a Clock , (PENNY-E3-H,267.490)

and instead of one half-penny Loaf , you have eaten two ;
(PENNY-E3-H,267.491)

and instead of one pint of Ale , you have had a quart ,
(PENNY-E3-H,267.492)

and all this you have had to day already , (PENNY-E3-H,267.493)

I think the Devil is in your Guts , (PENNY-E3-H,267.494)

that I do . (PENNY-E3-H,267.495)

<font> Tom . </font> Why how now Huswife , do you snap at me ?
(PENNY-E3-H,267.496)

do you grudge me my Victuals ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.497)

Pray Madam Joan , what is it to you how much I eat and drink ,
(PENNY-E3-H,267.498)

do I not provide it ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.499)

be it known to you Joan , that your Mistris when she was living , would
not have said so much to me poor Soul . (PENNY-E3-H,267.500)

<font> Joan . </font> No truly Master , no more would not I if I was
your Wife , (PENNY-E3-H,267.501)

but as I am your Maid , I am not bound to you , (PENNY-E3-H,267.502)

and therefore I take the greater priviledge , (PENNY-E3-H,267.503)

but if $you $'d {TEXT:you'd} Marry me , I know what I know .
(PENNY-E3-H,267.504)

<font> Tom . </font> Why , what do you know Joan ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.505)

suppose I should Marry thee : (PENNY-E3-H,267.506)

<font> Ione . </font> Indeed Sir , $I $'d {TEXT:I'de} be the lovingest
Wife that ever was made of flesh and blood , $I $'ll {TEXT:i'le} be so
kind . (PENNY-E3-H,267.507)

<font> Tom . </font> How kind wouldst thou be ? (PENNY-E3-H,267.508)

<font> Ione . </font> Ah master , so kind as my mistris us'd to be to
you , if not kinder , (PENNY-E3-H,267.509)

you may remember Sir that in her days I us'e to lye in the Truckle bed
; (PENNY-E3-H,267.510)

O then master . (PENNY-E3-H,267.511)

<font> Tom . </font> Why what then Jone . (PENNY-E3-H,267.512)

<font> Ione . </font> Oh dear master , ask me no more questions ,
(PENNY-E3-H,267.513)

I dare talk no more of those things , (PENNY-E3-H,267.514)

$me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} I find strange alterations in me already ,
strange motions , strange qualms , (PENNY-E3-H,267.515)

O how could I <P_268> stretch my self , (PENNY-E3-H,268.516)

but <paren> alas </paren> to what purpose poor Maid that I am ?
(PENNY-E3-H,268.517)

<font> Tom . </font> Well Jone , upon good terms , and upon good
considerations , and upon divers causes moving me thereunto , I say
Jone I could find in my heart to make thee Mistriss of my household ,
and Lady of my family , all which you know Ione is honour in abundance
, (PENNY-E3-H,268.518)

but first I say you must subscribe and consent to my divers causes and
considerations . (PENNY-E3-H,268.519)

<font> Ione . </font> Pray master , what be those causes &
considerations , (PENNY-E3-H,268.520)

$I $'ll {TEXT:i'le} do any thing rather then lose my longing .
(PENNY-E3-H,268.521)

<font> Tom . </font> Why then in brief these they are .
(PENNY-E3-H,268.522)

First , you shall kiss my hand and swear that you will acknowledge me
to be your Lord and Master . (PENNY-E3-H,268.523)

<font> Ione . </font> I will Sir . (PENNY-E3-H,268.524)

<font> Tom . </font> Secondly , when I come home drunk a nights , you
shall be diligent to make me unready and get me to bed ,
(PENNY-E3-H,268.525)

and if I chance to befoul my self , you are to make me clean without
chiding me . (PENNY-E3-H,268.526)

<font> Ione . </font> Why must I not keep a maid to do these things for
me ? (PENNY-E3-H,268.527)

<font> Tom . </font> Yes , you must keep a Maid , (PENNY-E3-H,268.528)

but it is not fit she should know of her Masters privicies .
(PENNY-E3-H,268.529)

I say you must do these things your self . (PENNY-E3-H,268.530)

<font> Ione . </font> Well if it must be so , it must .
(PENNY-E3-H,268.531)

<font> Tom . </font> Thirdly , if any Gentle Woman comes to have me
take measure of her , you must forthwith go out of the Room , and leave
us together and not be jealous . (PENNY-E3-H,268.532)

<font> Ione . </font> All this I will observe . (PENNY-E3-H,268.533)

<font> Tom . </font> Fourthly you must not let any man kiss you but
your Husband , (PENNY-E3-H,268.534)

but if any should offer any such thing to you , you must be sure to let
me know what they say or do to you . (PENNY-E3-H,268.535)

<font> Ione . </font> You shall be sure to know all Sir .
(PENNY-E3-H,268.536)

<font> Tom . </font> Fiftly and lastly , you must Promise not to spend
nor waste your husbands Money nor Goods , and observe alwaies in
Cow-cumber-time , to put less meat in the Pot than at other times ,
because you know that then we have always a Bad Trade :
(PENNY-E3-H,268.537)

And one thing I had almost forgot , which is , that you shall be sure
<P_269> every day once or twice in the day to muster the Flees and the
Lice that have taken possession in our Bedding and wearing Apparel :
(PENNY-E3-H,269.538)

I say once again <paren> and be sure you remember this last Article of
our agreement </paren> you must destroy , kill , and slay them all , if
possible . (PENNY-E3-H,269.539)

<font> Ioan . </font> If possible <paren> as you say Master </paren> I
will , (PENNY-E3-H,269.540)

but i fear they have inhabited and dwelt with you so long , that now
they will be sturdy and begin to plead custome , (PENNY-E3-H,269.541)

but hoever $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} do my honest endeavour .
(PENNY-E3-H,269.542)

<font> Tom . </font> Well , do you consent to all these things ,
(PENNY-E3-H,269.543)

and will you be sure hereafter to observe and keep them all ?
(PENNY-E3-H,269.544)

<font> Ioan . </font> I will Sir upon this condition , that you will
grant me two things that I shall ask you . (PENNY-E3-H,269.545)

<font> Tom . </font> Ay , ay , Joan , any thing I say , any thing ,
(PENNY-E3-H,269.546)

$pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} speak quickly , (PENNY-E3-H,269.547)

for I begin to be in haste now . (PENNY-E3-H,269.548)

<font> Ioan . </font> Thus it is then , (PENNY-E3-H,269.549)

First you shall give me leave to chuse what Maid-servant I please ,
(PENNY-E3-H,269.550)

and secondly , because you shall not be jealous after marriage , I must
let you know that I have a young man that is kin to me ,
(PENNY-E3-H,269.551)

he is my Cozen ; (PENNY-E3-H,269.552)

this young man I say , will often come to see me , (PENNY-E3-H,269.553)

you shall not be jealous of him will ye ? (PENNY-E3-H,269.554)

<font> Tom . </font> No , no , Wench , God forbid that I should be
against thy Relations comming to see thee . (PENNY-E3-H,269.555)

No , no , I say , he shall be welcome ; (PENNY-E3-H,269.556)

is this all you have to say Girl , (PENNY-E3-H,269.557)

$pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} $let $'s {TEXT:let's} make an end of this
Discourse , (PENNY-E3-H,269.558)

for I begin to be a little in haste . (PENNY-E3-H,269.559)

<font> Ioan . </font> And so $me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} am I ,
(PENNY-E3-H,269.560)

for I care not how soon I am married , and afterward how soon I go to
bed , nor afterward how soon you . (PENNY-E3-H,269.561)

<font> Tom . </font> Well , well honest Jone , I know thy meaning ,
(PENNY-E3-H,269.562)

come give me thy hand , (PENNY-E3-H,269.563)

let us to Church and be married with speed (PENNY-E3-H,269.564)

but now I think on't , what Church shall we go to Ione ?
(PENNY-E3-H,269.565)

<font> Jone . </font> Why I think that Mr. Cornue had best to marry us
, (PENNY-E3-H,269.566)

for I am well acquainted with him . (PENNY-E3-H,269.567)

<font> Tom . </font> With all my heart , (PENNY-E3-H,269.568)

come on Girl . (PENNY-E3-H,269.569)

<P_270>

{COM:verse_omitted}

<font> Tom . </font> Oh sad , how Drunk was I last night ,
(PENNY-E3-H,270.572)

I could hang my self for being such a sot ; especially the very first
night after I was Married , and not to go to bed to my bride :
(PENNY-E3-H,270.573)

well I must make her amends to night for this great fault ,
(PENNY-E3-H,270.574)

in the mean time $I $'ll {TEXT:i'le} go and kiss her a little ,
(PENNY-E3-H,270.575)

perhaps that may stop her mouth for the present . (PENNY-E3-H,270.576)

Why wife , why Jone , why wife Jone , Jone , I say , where art thou ?
(PENNY-E3-H,270.577)

<font> Nan . </font> $Who $'s {TEXT:Who's} that bawls and makes such a
noise to disturb my Mistris this morning so early ,
(PENNY-E3-H,270.578)

poor woman , she has had very little sleep this night .
(PENNY-E3-H,270.579)

<font> Tom . </font> What impudent $Jade $'s {TEXT:Jades} this that
says I bawl in my own house , (PENNY-E3-H,270.580)

Hussy who are you that speaks to me thus ? (PENNY-E3-H,270.581)

<font> Nan . </font> Why Sir , I am a Servant to the Gentlewoman of
this house . (PENNY-E3-H,270.582)

<font> Tom . </font> Be you so , (PENNY-E3-H,270.583)

and pray how long have you been her servant ? (PENNY-E3-H,270.584)

<font> Nan . </font> Ever since last night . (PENNY-E3-H,270.585)

<P_271>

<font> Tom . </font> Have you so , then pray acknowledge me to be your
Master : (PENNY-E3-H,271.587)

where is your Mistris ? (PENNY-E3-H,271.588)

<font> Nan . </font> Where is she ? (PENNY-E3-H,271.589)

why she is a bed , and just gone to sleep , (PENNY-E3-H,271.590)

if you be her Husband , you have almost broke her heart in not comming
to bed to her last night , especially being her Wedding-night , poor
soul , (PENNY-E3-H,271.591)

she is like to have much good of you , is she not do you think ?
(PENNY-E3-H,271.592)

<font> Tom . </font> $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prithee} good Wench hold thy
tongue , (PENNY-E3-H,271.593)

and do not thou scold at me too , (PENNY-E3-H,271.594)

for I must expect a Lesson from her , and a thundring one ,
(PENNY-E3-H,271.595)

for in faith I deserve it : (PENNY-E3-H,271.596)

good Nan go up to her , (PENNY-E3-H,271.597)

and acquaint her that I am awake , and would very fain come up to her ,
and be reconciled to her again . (PENNY-E3-H,271.598)

<font> Nan . </font> Well , stay you here , (PENNY-E3-H,271.599)

and I will go up stairs , and see what I can do with her ,
(PENNY-E3-H,271.600)

$I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} do my best . (PENNY-E3-H,271.601)

<font> Ione . </font> Who is that you are talking to below Nan , that
there was such a noise among you ? (PENNY-E3-H,271.602)

<font> Nan . </font> Who do you think it was ? (PENNY-E3-H,271.603)

why it was my Master , (PENNY-E3-H,271.604)

he says he will come up to you and beg his pardon for being so drunk
last night (PENNY-E3-H,271.605)

therefore pray let the Parson make haste away out of Bed if you love
your own quiet . (PENNY-E3-H,271.606)

<font> Ione . </font> Yes , yes , Nan , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} send him
away presently , (PENNY-E3-H,271.607)

in the mean time till he makes ready , $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} go
down (PENNY-E3-H,271.608)

and keep thy master in discourse . (PENNY-E3-H,271.609)

<font> Nan . </font> Well forsooth , I go , (PENNY-E3-H,271.610)

but pray make haste . (PENNY-E3-H,271.611)

<font> Tom . </font> Well wench , what says thy Mistris ?
(PENNY-E3-H,271.612)

is she willing to forgive me my fault , and to let me go up Stairs to
her . (PENNY-E3-H,271.613)

<font> Nan . </font> You may presently , but not yet ,
(PENNY-E3-H,271.614)

for she is not awake , (PENNY-E3-H,271.615)

and being disturb'd , will be more froward . (PENNY-E3-H,271.616)

{COM:verse_omitted} <font> Tom . </font> Nay pray wife be not angry ,
(PENNY-E3-H,271.617)

$I $'ll {TEXT:i'le} swear to thee wife that $I $'ll {TEXT:i'le} make
thee amends tonight . (PENNY-E3-H,271.618)

<font> Ione . </font> You shall be hang'd first , (PENNY-E3-H,271.619)

but if ever you expect that I shall be friends with you , there must be
two things granted . (PENNY-E3-H,271.620)

<P_272>

<font> Tom . </font> Any thing good wife , (PENNY-E3-H,272.622)

good wife I say any thing . (PENNY-E3-H,272.623)

<font> Ione . </font> Why then thus it is ; (PENNY-E3-H,272.624)

you shall give me leave to make void all those promises I made you
before marriage , (PENNY-E3-H,272.625)

and next that you shall not lye with me , nor desire to lye with me at
any time but when I please . (PENNY-E3-H,272.626)

<font> Tom . </font> This is something a hard Chapter I confess ,
(PENNY-E3-H,272.627)

but rather then loose my wifes favour I will grant it ,
(PENNY-E3-H,272.628)

I will do any thing to make her amends . (PENNY-E3-H,272.629)

I hope thou wilt not make me a Cuckold , sweetheart , wilt thou ?...
(PENNY-E3-H,272.630)