ACT II . (VANBR-E3-H,32.3) SCENE I . (VANBR-E3-H,32.4) London . A Room in Loveless's Lodgings . (VANBR-E3-H,32.6) Enter Loveless and Amanda . (VANBR-E3-H,32.7) Lov. How do you like these Lodgings , my Dear ? (VANBR-E3-H,32.8) For my part , I am so well pleas'd with 'em , I shall hardly remove whilst we stay in Town , if you are satisfy'd . (VANBR-E3-H,32.9) Aman. I am satisfy'd with every thing that pleases you ; (VANBR-E3-H,32.10) else I had not come to Town at all . (VANBR-E3-H,32.11) Lov. O , a little of the noise and bussle of the World , sweetens the Pleasures of Retreat : (VANBR-E3-H,32.12) We shall find the Charms of our Retirement doubled , when we return to it . (VANBR-E3-H,32.13) Aman. That pleasing Prospect will be my chiefest Entertainment , whilst much against my Will I am oblig'd to stand surrounded with these empty Pleasures , which $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} so much the fashion to be fond of . (VANBR-E3-H,32.14) Lov. I own most of 'em are indeed but empty : nay so empty , that one wou'd wonder by what Magick Power they act , when they induce us to be vicious for their sakes . (VANBR-E3-H,32.15) Yet some there are we may speak kindlier of : (VANBR-E3-H,32.16) There are Delights , of which a private Life is destitute which may divert an honest Man , and be a harmless Entertainment to a virtuous Woman . (VANBR-E3-H,32.17) The Conversation of the Town is one ; (VANBR-E3-H,32.18) and truly , with some small Allowances the Plays , I think , may be esteem'd another . (VANBR-E3-H,32.19) Aman. The Plays , I must confess , have some small Charms , (VANBR-E3-H,32.20) and wou'd have more , wou'd they restrain that loose obscene encouragement to Vice , which shocks , if not the Virtue of some Women , at least the Modesty of all . (VANBR-E3-H,32.21) Lov. But till that Reformation can be made , I wou'd not leave the whol'some Corn , for some intruding Tares that grow amongst it . (VANBR-E3-H,33.23) Doubtless , the Moral of a well-wrought Scene is of prevailing Force . - (VANBR-E3-H,33.24) Last Night there happen'd one that mov'd me strangely . (VANBR-E3-H,33.25) Aman. Pray , what was that ? (VANBR-E3-H,33.26) Lov. Why $'t $was {TEXT:'twas} about - (VANBR-E3-H,33.27) but $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} not worth repeating . (VANBR-E3-H,33.28) Aman. Yes , pray let me know it . (VANBR-E3-H,33.29) Lov. No , I think $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} as well let alone . (VANBR-E3-H,33.30) Aman. Nay , now you make me have a mind to know . (VANBR-E3-H,33.31) Lov. $'T $was {TEXT:'Twas} a foolish thing : (VANBR-E3-H,33.32) $You $'d {TEXT:You'd} perhaps grow jealous shou'd I tell it you , tho' without a cause Heaven knows . (VANBR-E3-H,33.33) Aman. I shall begin to think I have Cause , if you persist in making it a secret . (VANBR-E3-H,33.34) Lov. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} then convince you , you have none by making it no longer so . (VANBR-E3-H,33.35) Know then , I happen'd in the Play to find my very Character , only with the Addition of a Relapse ; which struck me so , I put a suddain stop to a most harmless Entertainment , which till then , diverted me between the Acts . (VANBR-E3-H,33.36) $'T $was {TEXT:'Twas} to admire the workmanship of Nature , in the Face of a young Lady , that sat some distance from me , (VANBR-E3-H,33.37) she was so exquisitely handsome . (VANBR-E3-H,33.38) Aman. So exquisitely handsome ! (VANBR-E3-H,33.39) Lov. Why do you repeat my words , my Dear ? (VANBR-E3-H,33.40) Aman. Because you seem'd to speak 'em with such pleasure , I thought I might oblige you with their Eccho . (VANBR-E3-H,33.41) Lov. Then you are allarmed , Amanda ? (VANBR-E3-H,33.42) Aman. It is my Duty to be so , when you are in danger . (VANBR-E3-H,33.43) Lov. You are too quick in apprehending for me ; (VANBR-E3-H,33.44) all will be well when you have heard me out . (VANBR-E3-H,33.45) I do confess I gaz'd upon her ; (VANBR-E3-H,33.46) nay , eagerly I gaz'd upon her . (VANBR-E3-H,33.47) Aman. Eagerly ? (VANBR-E3-H,33.48) $That $'s {TEXT:That's} with desire . (VANBR-E3-H,33.49) Lov. No , I desir'd her not ; (VANBR-E3-H,33.50) I view'd her with a world of admiration , but not one glance of Love . (VANBR-E3-H,33.51) Aman. Take heed of trusting to such nice Distinctions . (VANBR-E3-H,33.52) Lov. I did take heed ; (VANBR-E3-H,33.53) for observing in the Play , That he who seem'd to represent me there , was by an Accident like this , unwarily surpriz'd into a Net , in which he lay a poor intangl'd Slave , and brought a Train of mischiefs on his Head ; I snatcht my Eyes away : (VANBR-E3-H,33.54) they pleaded hard for leave to look again , (VANBR-E3-H,33.55) but I grew absolute , (VANBR-E3-H,33.56) and they obey'd . (VANBR-E3-H,33.57) Aman. Were they the only things that were Inquisitive ? (VANBR-E3-H,33.58) Had I been in your place , my Tongue , I fancy , had been curious too ; (VANBR-E3-H,33.59) I shou'd have ask'd her Name , and where she liv'd , yet still without Design : - (VANBR-E3-H,33.60) Who was she , pray ? (VANBR-E3-H,33.61) Lov. Indeed I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} tell . (VANBR-E3-H,33.62) Aman. You will not tell . (VANBR-E3-H,33.63) Lov. By all $that $'s {TEXT:that's} Sacred then , I did not ask . (VANBR-E3-H,34.65) Aman. Nor do you know what company was with her ? (VANBR-E3-H,34.66) Lov. I do not . (VANBR-E3-H,34.67) Aman. Then I am calm again . (VANBR-E3-H,34.68) Lov. Why were you disturb'd ? (VANBR-E3-H,34.69) Aman. Had I then no Cause ? (VANBR-E3-H,34.70) Lov. None certainly . (VANBR-E3-H,34.71) Aman. I thought I had . (VANBR-E3-H,34.72) Lov. But you thought wrong , Amanda ; (VANBR-E3-H,34.73) For turn the Case , (VANBR-E3-H,34.74) and let it be your Story : (VANBR-E3-H,34.75) shou'd you come home and tell me you had seen a handsome Man , shou'd I grow jealous , because you had Eyes ? (VANBR-E3-H,34.76) Aman. But shou'd I tell you , he were exquisitely so : That I had gaz'd on him with Admiration : That I had look'd with eager Eyes upon him , shou'd you not think $'T $were {TEXT:'Twere} possible I might go one step farther , and enquire his Name ? (VANBR-E3-H,34.77) Lov. aside She has Reason on her side : (VANBR-E3-H,34.78) I have talk'd too much : (VANBR-E3-H,34.79) But I must turn it off another way . (VANBR-E3-H,34.80) To Aman. Will you then make no difference , Amanda , between the Language of our Sex and yours ? (VANBR-E3-H,34.81) There is a Modesty restrains your Tongues , which makes you speak by halves when you commend ; (VANBR-E3-H,34.82) but roving Flattery gives a loose to ours , which makes us still speak double what we think : (VANBR-E3-H,34.83) You shou'd not therefore , in so strict a sense , take what I said to her Advantage . (VANBR-E3-H,34.84) Aman. Those flights of Flattery , Sir , are to our Faces only : (VANBR-E3-H,34.85) When Women once are out of hearing , you are as modest in your Commendations as we are . (VANBR-E3-H,34.86) But I $shall $n't {TEXT:shan't} put you to the trouble of farther Excuses , if you please this Business shall rest here . (VANBR-E3-H,34.87) Only give me leave to wish both-1 for your Peace and mine , that you may never meet this Miracle of Beauty more . (VANBR-E3-H,34.88) Lov. I am content . (VANBR-E3-H,34.89) Enter Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,34.90) Serv. Madam , $there $'s {TEXT:there's} a young Lady at the Door in a Chair , desires to know whether your Ladyship sees Company . (VANBR-E3-H,34.91) I think her Name is Berinthia . (VANBR-E3-H,34.92) Aman. O dear ! (VANBR-E3-H,34.93) $'T $is {TEXT:'tis} a Relation I have not seen this five Years . (VANBR-E3-H,34.94) Pray her to walk in . (VANBR-E3-H,34.95) Exit Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,34.96) To Lov. $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} another Beauty for you . (VANBR-E3-H,34.97) She was young when I saw her last ; (VANBR-E3-H,34.98) but I hear $she $'s {TEXT:she's} grown extremely handsome . (VANBR-E3-H,34.99) Lov. $Do $n't {TEXT:Don't} you be jealous now ; (VANBR-E3-H,34.100) for I shall gaze upon her too . (VANBR-E3-H,34.101) Enter Berinthia . (VANBR-E3-H,34.102) Lov. aside Ha ! By Heavens the very Woman . (VANBR-E3-H,34.103) Ber. saluting Aman. Dear Amanda , I did not expect to meet with you in Town . (VANBR-E3-H,34.104) Aman. Sweet Cousin , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} over-joy'd to see you . (VANBR-E3-H,35.106) To Lov. Mr. Loveless , $here $'s {TEXT:here's} a Relation and a Friend of mine , I desire $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} be better acquainted with . (VANBR-E3-H,35.107) Lov. saluting Ber. If my Wife never desires a harder thing , Madam , her Request will be easily granted . (VANBR-E3-H,35.108) Ber. to Aman. I think , Madam , I ought to wish you Joy . (VANBR-E3-H,35.109) Aman. Joy ! (VANBR-E3-H,35.110) Upon what ? (VANBR-E3-H,35.111) Ber. Upon your Marriage : (VANBR-E3-H,35.112) You were a Widow when I saw you last . (VANBR-E3-H,35.113) Lov. You ought rather , Madam , to wish me Joy upon that , since I am the only Gainer . (VANBR-E3-H,35.114) Ber. If she has got so good a Husband as the World reports , she has gain'd enough to expect the Complements of her Friends upon it . (VANBR-E3-H,35.115) Lov. If the World is so favourable to me , to allow I deserve that Title , I hope $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} so just to my Wife to own I derive it from her . (VANBR-E3-H,35.116) Ber. Sir , it is so just to you both , to own you are , and deserve to be , the happiest Pair that live in it . (VANBR-E3-H,35.117) Lov. $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} afraid we shall lose that Character , Madam , whenever you happen to change your Condition . (VANBR-E3-H,35.118) Enter Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,35.119) Ser. Sir , my Lord Foppington presents his humble Service to you , (VANBR-E3-H,35.120) and desires to know how you do . (VANBR-E3-H,35.121) He but just now heard you were in Town . (VANBR-E3-H,35.122) $He $'s {TEXT:He's} at the next door ; (VANBR-E3-H,35.123) and if it be not inconvenient , $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} come and wait upon you . (VANBR-E3-H,35.124) Lov. Lord Foppington ! - (VANBR-E3-H,35.125) I know him not . (VANBR-E3-H,35.126) Ber. Not his Dignity , perhaps , (VANBR-E3-H,35.127) but you do his Person . (VANBR-E3-H,35.128) $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} Sir Novelty ; (VANBR-E3-H,35.129) he has bought a Barony in order to marry a great Fortune : (VANBR-E3-H,35.130) His Patent has not been pass'd eight-and-forty Hours , (VANBR-E3-H,35.131) and he has already sent How-do-ye's to all the Town , to make 'em acquainted with his Title . (VANBR-E3-H,35.132) Lov. Give my Service to his Lordship , (VANBR-E3-H,35.133) and let him know , I am proud of the Honour he intends me . (VANBR-E3-H,35.134) Ex. Ser. (VANBR-E3-H,35.135) Sure this Addition of Quality , must have so improv'd this Coxcomb , he $can $n't {TEXT:can't} but be very good Company for a quarter of an Hour . (VANBR-E3-H,35.136) Aman. Now it moves my Pity more than my Mirth , to see a Man whom Nature has made no Fool , be so very industrious to pass for an Ass . (VANBR-E3-H,35.137) Lov. No , there you are wrong , Amanda ; (VANBR-E3-H,35.138) you shou'd never bestow your pity upon those who take pains for your Contempt . (VANBR-E3-H,35.139) Pity those whom Nature abuses but never those who abuse Nature . (VANBR-E3-H,35.140) Ber. Besides , the Town wou'd be robb'd of one of its chief Diversions , if it shou'd become a Crime to laugh at a Fool . (VANBR-E3-H,35.141) Aman. I cou'd never yet perceive the Town inclin'd to part with any of its diversions , for the sake of their being Crimes ; (VANBR-E3-H,35.142) but I have seen it very fond of some , I think , had little else to recommend 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,35.143) Ber. I doubt , Amanda , you are grown its Enemy , you speak with so much warmth against it . (VANBR-E3-H,36.145) Aman. I must confess I am not much its Friend . (VANBR-E3-H,36.146) Ber. Then give me leave to make you mine , by not engaging in its Quarrel . (VANBR-E3-H,36.147) Aman. You have many stronger Claims than that , Berinthia , whenever you think fit to plead your Title . (VANBR-E3-H,36.148) Lov. You have done well to engage a Second , my Dear ; (VANBR-E3-H,36.149) for $here {TEXT:he} comes one will be apt to call you to an account for your Country-Principles . (VANBR-E3-H,36.150) Enter Lord Foppington . (VANBR-E3-H,36.151) Lord Fop. to Lov. Sir , I am your most humble Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,36.152) Lov. I wish you Joy , my Lord . (VANBR-E3-H,36.153) Lord Fop. O Lard , Sir - Madam , your $Ladyship $'s {TEXT:Ladyship's} welcome to Tawn . (VANBR-E3-H,36.154) Aman. I wish your Lordship Joy . (VANBR-E3-H,36.155) Lord Fop. O Heavens , Madam - (VANBR-E3-H,36.156) Lov. My Lord , this young Lady is a Relation of my Wives . (VANBR-E3-H,36.157) Lord Fop. saluting her . The beautifull'st Race of People upon Earth : (VANBR-E3-H,36.158) Rat me . (VANBR-E3-H,36.159) Dear Loveless , I am overjoy'd to see you have braught your Family to Tawn again ; (VANBR-E3-H,36.160) I am , stap my Vitals - (VANBR-E3-H,36.161) Aside . Far I design to lye with your Wife . (VANBR-E3-H,36.162) To Aman. Far Gad's sake , Madam , haw has your Ladyship been able to subsist thus long , under the Fatigue of a Country Life ? (VANBR-E3-H,36.163) Aman. My Life has been very far from that , my Lord ; (VANBR-E3-H,36.164) it has been a very quiet one . (VANBR-E3-H,36.165) Lord Fop. Why , $that $'s {TEXT:that's} the Fatigue I speak of , Madam : (VANBR-E3-H,36.166) For $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} impossible to be quiet , without thinking : (VANBR-E3-H,36.167) Now thinking is to me , the greatest Fatigue in the World . (VANBR-E3-H,36.168) Aman. Does not your Lordship love reading then ? (VANBR-E3-H,36.169) Lord Fop. Oh , passionately , Madam - (VANBR-E3-H,36.170) But I never think of what I read . (VANBR-E3-H,36.171) Ber. Why , can your Lordship read without thinking ? (VANBR-E3-H,36.172) Lord Fop. O Lard - Can your Ladyship pray without Devotion - Madam ? (VANBR-E3-H,36.173) Aman. Well , I must own I think Books the best Entertainment in the World . (VANBR-E3-H,36.174) Lord Fop. I am so much of your Ladyship's Mind , Madam ; that I have a private Gallery where I walk sometimes is furnish'd with nothing but Books and Looking-glasses . (VANBR-E3-H,36.175) Madam , I have guilded 'em , and rang'd 'em , so prettily , before Gad , it is the most entertaining thing in the World to walk and look upon 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,36.176) Aman. Nay , I love a neat Library too ; (VANBR-E3-H,37.178) but $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} , I think , the Inside of a Book shou'd recommend it most to us . (VANBR-E3-H,37.179) Lord Fop. That , I must confess , I am nat altogether so fand of . (VANBR-E3-H,37.180) Far to mind the inside of a Book , is to entertain ones self with the forc'd Product of another Man's Brain . (VANBR-E3-H,37.181) Naw I think a Man of Quality and Breeding may be much diverted with the Natural Sprauts of his own . (VANBR-E3-H,37.182) But to say the truth , Madam , let a Man love reading never so well , when once he comes to know this Tawn , he finds so many better ways of passing away {COM:sic} the Four and Twenty Hours , that $'t $were {TEXT:'twere} Ten Thousand pities he shou'd consume his time in that . (VANBR-E3-H,37.183) Far example , Madam , my Life ; (VANBR-E3-H,37.184) my Life , Madam , is a perpetual Stream of Pleasure , that glides thro' such a Variety of Entertainments , I believe the wisest of our Ancestors never had the least Conception of any of 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,37.185) I rise , Madam , about Ten a-Clock . (VANBR-E3-H,37.186) I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} rise sooner , because $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} the worst thing in the World for the Complexion ; (VANBR-E3-H,37.187) nat that I pretend to be a Beau ; (VANBR-E3-H,37.188) but a Man must endeavour to look wholesome , lest he makes so nauseous a Figure in the Side-bax , the Ladies shou'd be compell'd to turn their Eyes upon the Play . (VANBR-E3-H,37.189) So at Ten o'clock I say I rise . (VANBR-E3-H,37.190) Naw if I find $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} a good Day , I resalve to take a Turn in the Park , and see the fine Women ; (VANBR-E3-H,37.191) so huddle on my Cloaths , (VANBR-E3-H,37.192) and get dress'd by One . (VANBR-E3-H,37.193) If it be nasty Weather , I take a Turn in the Chocolate-hause ; where , as you walk , Madam , you have the prettiest Prospect in the World ; (VANBR-E3-H,37.194) you have Looking-glasses all round you - (VANBR-E3-H,37.195) But $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} afraid I tire the Company . (VANBR-E3-H,37.196) Ber. Not at all . Pray go on . (VANBR-E3-H,37.198) Lord Fop. Why then , Ladies , from thence I go to Dinner at Lacket's , (VANBR-E3-H,37.199) and there you are so nicely and delicately serv'd , that , stap my Vitals , they shall compose you a Dish , no bigger than a Saucer , shall come to fifty Shillings . (VANBR-E3-H,37.200) Between eating my Dinner , and washing my Mauth , Ladies I spend my time , till I go to the Play ; where , till Nine a-Clack , I entertain my self with looking upon the Company ; and usually dispose of one Hour more in leading them aut . (VANBR-E3-H,37.201) So $there $'s {TEXT:there's} twelve of the Four-and-Twenty pretty well over . (VANBR-E3-H,37.202) The other Twelve , Madam , are dispos'd of in Two Articles : (VANBR-E3-H,37.203) In the first Four , I toast my self drunk , (VANBR-E3-H,37.204) and in t'other Eight I sleep my self sober again . (VANBR-E3-H,37.205) Thus , Ladies , you see my Life is an eternal raund O of Delights . (VANBR-E3-H,37.206) Lov. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} a heavenly one , indeed ! (VANBR-E3-H,37.207) Aman. But , my Lord , you Beaux spend a great deal of your Time in Intrigues : (VANBR-E3-H,37.208) You have given us no Account of them yet . (VANBR-E3-H,37.209) Lord Fop. aside . Soh , she wou'd enquire into my Amours - (VANBR-E3-H,37.210) $That $'s {TEXT:That's} Jealousie - (VANBR-E3-H,37.211) She begins to be in love with me . (VANBR-E3-H,37.212) To Aman. Why , Madam - as to time for my Intrigues , I usually make Detachments of it from my other Pleasures , according to the Exigency : (VANBR-E3-H,37.213) Far your Ladyship may please to take notice , that those who intrigue with Women of Quality , have rarely occasion far above half an Hour at a time : (VANBR-E3-H,38.214) People of that Rank being under those Decorums , they can seldom give you a langer View , than will just serve to shoot 'em flying . So that the Course of my other Pleasures is not very much interrupted by my Amours . (VANBR-E3-H,38.215) Lov. But your Lordship now is become a Pillar of the State ; (VANBR-E3-H,38.216) you must attend the weighty Affairs of the Nation . (VANBR-E3-H,38.217) Lord Fop. Sir - as to weighty Affairs - I leave them to weighty Heads . (VANBR-E3-H,38.218) I never intend mine shall be a Burthen to my Body . (VANBR-E3-H,38.219) Lov. O , but $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find the House will expect your Attendance . (VANBR-E3-H,38.220) Lord Fop. Sir , $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find the House will compound for my Appearance . (VANBR-E3-H,38.221) Lov. But your Friends will take it ill if you $do $n't {TEXT:don't} attend their particular Causes . (VANBR-E3-H,38.222) Lord Fop. Not , Sir , if I come time enough to give 'em my particular Vote . (VANBR-E3-H,38.223) Ber. But pray , my Lord , how do you dispose of yourself on Sundays ; (VANBR-E3-H,38.224) for that , $me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} , shou'd hang wretchedly on your hands . (VANBR-E3-H,38.225) Lord Fop. Why , Faith , Madam - Sunday - is a vile day , I must confess . (VANBR-E3-H,38.226) I intend to move for leave to bring in a Bill , That the Players may work upon it , as well as the Hackney Coaches . (VANBR-E3-H,38.227) Tho' this I must say for the Government , it leaves us the Churches to entertain us - (VANBR-E3-H,38.228) But then again , they begin so abominable early , a Man must rise by Candle-light to get dress'd by the Psalm . (VANBR-E3-H,38.229) Ber. Pray which Church does your Lordship most oblige with your Presence ? (VANBR-E3-H,38.230) Lord Fop. Oh , St. James's , Madam - (VANBR-E3-H,38.231) $There's $'s {TEXT:There's} much the best Company . (VANBR-E3-H,38.232) Aman. Is there good Preaching too ? (VANBR-E3-H,38.233) Lord Fop. Why , Faith , Madam - I $can $n't {TEXT:can't} tell . (VANBR-E3-H,38.234) A Man must have very little to do there , that can give an Account of the Sermon . (VANBR-E3-H,38.235) Ber. You can give us an Account of the Ladies , at least . (VANBR-E3-H,38.236) Lord Fop. Or I deserve to be excommunicated - (VANBR-E3-H,38.237) There is my Lady Tattle , my Lady Prate , my Lady Titter , my Lady Leer , my Lady Giggle , and my Lady Grin . (VANBR-E3-H,38.238) These sit in the Front of the Boxes , (VANBR-E3-H,38.239) and all Churchtime are the prettiest Company in the World , stap my Vitals . (VANBR-E3-H,38.240) To Aman. $May $n't {TEXT:Mayn't} we hope for the Honour to see your Ladyship added to our Society , Madam ? (VANBR-E3-H,38.241) Aman. Alas , my Lord , I am the worst Company in the World at Church : (VANBR-E3-H,38.242) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} apt to mind the Prayers , or the Sermon , or - (VANBR-E3-H,38.243) Lord Fop. One is indeed strangely apt at Church to mind what one should not do . (VANBR-E3-H,38.244) But I hope , Madam , at one time or other , I shall have the Honour to lead your Ladyship to your Coach there . (VANBR-E3-H,38.245) Aside $me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} she seems strangely pleas'd with every thing I say to her - (VANBR-E3-H,38.246) $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} a vast Pleasure to receive Encouragement from a Woman before her Husband's Face - (VANBR-E3-H,39.247) I have a good mind to pursue my Conquest , and speak the thing plainly to her at once - (VANBR-E3-H,39.248) I'gad , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} $do $'t {TEXT:do't} , (VANBR-E3-H,39.249) and that in so Cavallier a manner , she shall be surpriz'd at it - (VANBR-E3-H,39.250) Ladies , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} take my Leave ; (VANBR-E3-H,39.251) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} afraid I begin to grow troublesome with the length of my Visit . (VANBR-E3-H,39.252) Aman. Your $Lordship $'s {TEXT:Lordship's} too entertaining to grow troublesome any where . (VANBR-E3-H,39.253) Lord Fop. aside . That now was as much as if she had said - Pray lie with me . (VANBR-E3-H,39.254) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} let her see $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} quick of Apprehension . (VANBR-E3-H,39.255) To Aman. O Lard , Madam , I had like to have forgot a Secret , I must needs tell your Ladyship . (VANBR-E3-H,39.256) To Lov. Ned , you must not be so jealous now as to listen . (VANBR-E3-H,39.257) Lov. Not I , my Lord ; (VANBR-E3-H,39.258) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} too fashionable a Husband to pry into the Secrets of my Wife . (VANBR-E3-H,39.259) Lord Fop. to Aman. squeezing her Hand I am in love with you to Desperation , strike me speechless . (VANBR-E3-H,39.260) Aman. giving him a Box o' th' Ear . Then thus I return your Passion ; (VANBR-E3-H,39.261) An impudent Fool ! (VANBR-E3-H,39.262) Lord Fop. Gad's Curse , Madam , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} a Peer of the Realm . (VANBR-E3-H,39.263) Lov. Hey ; what the Devil do you affront my Wife , Sir ? (VANBR-E3-H,39.264) Nay then - (VANBR-E3-H,39.265) They draw and fight . (VANBR-E3-H,39.266) The Women run shrieking for Help . (VANBR-E3-H,39.267) Aman. Ah ! (VANBR-E3-H,39.268) What has my Folly done ? (VANBR-E3-H,39.269) Help ; (VANBR-E3-H,39.270) Murder , (VANBR-E3-H,39.271) help : (VANBR-E3-H,39.272) Part 'em for Heaven's sake . (VANBR-E3-H,39.273) Lord Fop. falling back , and leaning upon his Sword . Ah - quite thro' the Body - Stap my Vitals . (VANBR-E3-H,39.274) Enter Servants . (VANBR-E3-H,39.275) Lov. running to him . I hope I $have $n't {TEXT:han't} kill'd the Fool however - (VANBR-E3-H,39.276) Bear him up ! (VANBR-E3-H,39.277) $Where $'s {TEXT:Where's} your Wound ? (VANBR-E3-H,39.278) Lord Fop. Just thro' the Guts . (VANBR-E3-H,39.279) Lov. Call a Surgeon there : (VANBR-E3-H,39.280) Unbutton him quickly . (VANBR-E3-H,39.281) Lord Fop. Ay , pray make haste . (VANBR-E3-H,39.282) Lov. This Mischief you may thank your self for . (VANBR-E3-H,39.283) Lord Fop. I may so - (VANBR-E3-H,39.284) $Love $'s {TEXT:Love's} the Devil indeed , Ned . (VANBR-E3-H,39.285) Enter Serringe and Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,39.286) Serv. $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} Mr Serringe , Sir , was just going by the Door . (VANBR-E3-H,39.287) Lord Fop. $He $'s {TEXT:He's} the welcom'st Man alive . (VANBR-E3-H,39.288) Ser. Stand by , (VANBR-E3-H,39.289) stand by , (VANBR-E3-H,39.290) stand by . (VANBR-E3-H,39.291) Pray , Gentlemen stand by . (VANBR-E3-H,39.292) Lord have mercy upon us , (VANBR-E3-H,39.293) did you never see a Man run thro' the Body before ? (VANBR-E3-H,39.294) Pray stand by . (VANBR-E3-H,39.295) Lord Fop. Ah , Mr. Serringe - $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} a dead Man . (VANBR-E3-H,39.296) Ser. A dead Man , and I by - (VANBR-E3-H,39.297) I shou'd laugh to see that , I'gad . (VANBR-E3-H,39.298) Lov. $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prithee} $do $n't {TEXT:don't} stand prating , (VANBR-E3-H,39.299) but look upon his Wound . (VANBR-E3-H,39.300) Ser. Why , what if I $wo $n't {TEXT:won't} look upon his Wound this Hour , Sir ? (VANBR-E3-H,39.301) Lov. Why then $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} bleed to Death , Sir . (VANBR-E3-H,39.302) Ser. Why , then $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} fetch him to Life again , Sir . (VANBR-E3-H,40.304) Lov. 'Slife , $he $'s {TEXT:he's} run thro' the Guts , I tell thee . (VANBR-E3-H,40.305) Ser. Wou'd he were run thro' the Heart , (VANBR-E3-H,40.306) I shou'd get the more Credit by his Cure . (VANBR-E3-H,40.307) Now I hope you are satisfy'd ? - (VANBR-E3-H,40.308) Come , now let me come at him ; (VANBR-E3-H,40.309) now let me come at him . (VANBR-E3-H,40.310) Viewing his Wound . Oons , what a Gash is here ? - (VANBR-E3-H,40.311) Why , Sir , a Man may drive a Coach and Six Horses into your Body . (VANBR-E3-H,40.312) Lord Fop. Ho - (VANBR-E3-H,40.313) Ser. Why , what the Devil , have you run the Gentleman thro' with a Sythe - (VANBR-E3-H,40.314) Aside . A little Prick between the Skin and the Ribs , $that $'s {TEXT:that's} all . (VANBR-E3-H,40.315) Lov. Let me see his Wound . (VANBR-E3-H,40.316) Ser. Then you shall dress it , Sir ; (VANBR-E3-H,40.317) for if any body looks upon it , I $wo $n't {TEXT:won't} . (VANBR-E3-H,40.318) Lov. Why , thou art the veriest Coxcomb I ever saw . (VANBR-E3-H,40.319) Ser. Sir , I am not Master of my Trade for nothing . (VANBR-E3-H,40.320) Lord Fop. Surgeon . (VANBR-E3-H,40.321) Ser. Well , Sir . (VANBR-E3-H,40.322) Lord Fop. Is there any Hopes ? (VANBR-E3-H,40.323) Ser. Hopes ? - (VANBR-E3-H,40.324) I $can $n't {TEXT:can't} tell - (VANBR-E3-H,40.325) What are you willing to give for your Cure ? (VANBR-E3-H,40.326) Lord Fop. Five hundred Paunds with Pleasure . (VANBR-E3-H,40.327) Ser. Why then , perhaps there may be Hopes . (VANBR-E3-H,40.328) But we must avoid farther Delay . (VANBR-E3-H,40.329) Here ; help the Gentleman into a Chair , (VANBR-E3-H,40.330) and carry him to my House presently , (VANBR-E3-H,40.331) $that $'s {TEXT:that's} the properest place Aside . to bubble him out of his Money . (VANBR-E3-H,40.332) Come , a Chair , (VANBR-E3-H,40.333) a Chair quickly - (VANBR-E3-H,40.334) there , in with him . (VANBR-E3-H,40.335) They put him into a Chair . (VANBR-E3-H,40.336) Lord Fop. Dear Loveless - Adieu . (VANBR-E3-H,40.337) If I die - I forgive thee ; (VANBR-E3-H,40.338) and if I live - I hope $thou $'lt {TEXT:thou'lt} do as much by me . (VANBR-E3-H,40.339) I am very sorry you and I shou'd quarrel ; (VANBR-E3-H,40.340) but I hope $here $'s {TEXT:here's} an end on't , (VANBR-E3-H,40.341) for if you are satisfy'd - I am . (VANBR-E3-H,40.342) Lov. I shall hardly think it worth my prosecuting any farther , (VANBR-E3-H,40.343) so you may be at rest , Sir . (VANBR-E3-H,40.344) Lord Fop. Thou art a generous Fellow , strike me Dumb . (VANBR-E3-H,40.345) Aside . But thou hast an impertinent Wife , stap my Vitals . (VANBR-E3-H,40.346) Ser. So , carry him off , (VANBR-E3-H,40.347) carry him off , (VANBR-E3-H,40.348) we shall have him prate himself into a Fever by and by ; (VANBR-E3-H,40.349) carry him off . (VANBR-E3-H,40.350) Ex. Serv. with Lord Fop. (VANBR-E3-H,40.351) Aman. Now on my Knees , my Dear , let me ask your pardon for my Indiscretion , (VANBR-E3-H,40.352) my own I never shall obtain . (VANBR-E3-H,40.353) Lov. O ! (VANBR-E3-H,40.354) $There's $'s {TEXT:There's} no harm done : (VANBR-E3-H,40.355) You serv'd him well . (VANBR-E3-H,40.356) Aman. He did indeed deserve it . (VANBR-E3-H,40.357) But I tremble to think how dear my indiscreet Resentment might have cost you . (VANBR-E3-H,40.358) Lov. O no matter ; (VANBR-E3-H,40.359) never trouble your-self about that . (VANBR-E3-H,40.360) Ber. For Heaven's sake , what $was $'t {TEXT:was't} he did to you ? (VANBR-E3-H,40.361) Aman. O nothing ; (VANBR-E3-H,41.363) he only squeez'd me kindly by the Hand , (VANBR-E3-H,41.364) and frankly offer'd me a Coxcomb's Heart . (VANBR-E3-H,41.365) I know I was to blame to resent it as I did , since nothing but a Quarrel cou'd ensue . (VANBR-E3-H,41.366) But the Fool so surpriz'd me with his Insolence , I was not Mistress of my Fingers . (VANBR-E3-H,41.367) Ber. Now I dare swear , he thinks you had 'em at great Command , they obey'd you so readily . (VANBR-E3-H,41.368) SCENE III , (VANBR-E3-H,57.371) A COUNTRY-HOUSE . (VANBR-E3-H,57.372) Enter Young Fashion and Lory . (VANBR-E3-H,57.374) Y. Fash. So , $here $'s {TEXT:here's} our Inheritance , Lory , if we can but get into Possession . (VANBR-E3-H,57.375) But $me $thinks {TEXT:methinks} , the Seat of our Family looks like Noah's Ark , as if the chief part on't were design'd for the Fowls of the Air , and the Beasts of the Field . (VANBR-E3-H,57.376) Lo. Pray , Sir , $do $n't {TEXT:don't} let your Head run upon the Orders of Building here ; (VANBR-E3-H,57.377) get but the Heiress , (VANBR-E3-H,57.378) let the Devil take the House . (VANBR-E3-H,57.379) Y. Fash. Get but the House , (VANBR-E3-H,57.380) let the Devil take the Heiress , I say ; (VANBR-E3-H,57.381) at least if she be as old Coupler describes her . (VANBR-E3-H,57.382) But come , (VANBR-E3-H,57.383) we have no time to squander . (VANBR-E3-H,57.384) Knock at the Door . (VANBR-E3-H,57.385) Lory knocks two or three times . (VANBR-E3-H,57.386) What the Devil , have they got no Ears in this House ? (VANBR-E3-H,57.387) Knock harder . (VANBR-E3-H,57.388) Lo. Igad , Sir , this will prove some Inchanted Castle ; (VANBR-E3-H,57.389) we shall have the Gyant come out by and by with his Club , and beat our Brains out . (VANBR-E3-H,57.390) Knocks again . (VANBR-E3-H,57.391) Y. Fash. Hush ; (VANBR-E3-H,57.392) they come . (VANBR-E3-H,57.393) From within . Who is there ? (VANBR-E3-H,57.394) Lo. Open the Door (VANBR-E3-H,57.395) and see : (VANBR-E3-H,57.396) Is that your Country Breeding ? (VANBR-E3-H,57.397) Within . Ay , but two Words to a Bargain : (VANBR-E3-H,57.398) Tummas , is the Blunderbus prim'd ? (VANBR-E3-H,57.399) Y. Fash. Oons , give 'em good Words , Lory ; (VANBR-E3-H,57.400) we shall be shot here a Fortune catching . (VANBR-E3-H,57.401) Lo. Igad , Sir , I think $y' $are {TEXT:y'are} in the right on't . (VANBR-E3-H,57.402) Ho , Mr. What d'ye call 'um . - (VANBR-E3-H,57.403) Servant appears at the Window with a Blunderbus (VANBR-E3-H,57.404) Weall , naw $what $'s {TEXT:what's} yare business ? (VANBR-E3-H,57.405) Y. Fash. Nothing , Sir , but to wait upon Sir Tunbelly , with your leave . (VANBR-E3-H,57.406) Ser. To weat upon Sir Tunbelly ? (VANBR-E3-H,58.408) Why , $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find $that $'s {TEXT:that's} just as Sir Tunbelly pleases . (VANBR-E3-H,58.409) Y. Fash. But will you do me the Favour , Sir , to know whether Sir Tunbelly pleases or not ? (VANBR-E3-H,58.410) Ser. Why , look you , do you see , with good words much may be done . (VANBR-E3-H,58.411) Ralph , go thy weas , (VANBR-E3-H,58.412) and ask Sir Tunbelly if he pleases to be waited upon . (VANBR-E3-H,58.413) And , do'st hear ? (VANBR-E3-H,58.414) call to Nurse , that she may lock up Miss Hoyden before the Geats open . (VANBR-E3-H,58.415) Y. Fash. $D' $ye {TEXT:D'ye} hear that , Lory ? (VANBR-E3-H,58.416) Lo. Ay , Sir , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} afraid we shall find a difficult Job on't . (VANBR-E3-H,58.417) Pray Heaven that Old Rogue Coupler $has $n't {TEXT:han't} sent us to fetch Milk out of the Gunroom . (VANBR-E3-H,58.418) Y. Fash. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant thee all will go well : (VANBR-E3-H,58.419) See ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.420) the Door opens . (VANBR-E3-H,58.421) Enter Sir Tunbelly , with his Servants , Arm'd with Guns , Clubs , Pitchforks , Sythes , &c . (VANBR-E3-H,58.422) Lo. running behind his Master . O Lord , O Lord , O Lord , we are both dead Men . (VANBR-E3-H,58.423) Y. Fash. Take heed , Fool , (VANBR-E3-H,58.424) thy Fear will ruine us . (VANBR-E3-H,58.425) Lo. My Fear , Sir ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.426) 'Sdeath , Sir , I fear nothing . (VANBR-E3-H,58.427) aside . Wou'd I were well up to the Chin in a Horse-Pond . (VANBR-E3-H,58.428) Sir Tun. Who is it here has any business with me ? (VANBR-E3-H,58.429) Y. Fash. Sir , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} I , if your Name be Sir Tunbelly Clumsey . (VANBR-E3-H,58.430) Sir Tun. Sir , my name is Sir Tunbelly Clumsey , whither you have any business with me or not . (VANBR-E3-H,58.431) So you see I am not asham'd of my Name - nor my Face neither . (VANBR-E3-H,58.432) Y. Fash. Sir , you have no Cause , that I know of . (VANBR-E3-H,58.433) Sir Tun. Sir , if you have no Cause neither , I desire to know who you are ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.434) for till I know your Name , I shall not ask you to come into my House ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.435) and when I know your Name - $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} six to four I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} ask you neither . (VANBR-E3-H,58.436) Y. Fash. giving him a Letter . Sir , I hope $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find this Letter an Authentick Passport . (VANBR-E3-H,58.437) Sir Tun. $Cod $'s {TEXT:Cod's} my life I ask your Lordship's Pardon Ten Thousand times . (VANBR-E3-H,58.438) To his Servants . Here run in a-doors quickly : (VANBR-E3-H,58.439) Get a Scotch Coal Fire in the Great Parlour ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.440) set all the Turkey-work Chairs in their places ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.441) get the great Brass Candlesticks out , (VANBR-E3-H,58.442) and be sure stick the Sockets full of Laurel , (VANBR-E3-H,58.443) run . (VANBR-E3-H,58.444) Turning to Young Fash. My Lord , I ask your Lordship's Pardon . (VANBR-E3-H,58.445) To other Servants . And do you hear , run away to Nurse , (VANBR-E3-H,58.446) bid her let Miss Hoyden loose again , (VANBR-E3-H,58.447) and if it was not shifting Day , let her put on a clean Tucker , quick . (VANBR-E3-H,58.448) Exeunt Servants confusedly . (VANBR-E3-H,58.449) To Young Fash. I hope your Honour will excuse the disorder of my Family , (VANBR-E3-H,58.450) we are not us'd to receive Men of your Lordship's great Quality every day ; (VANBR-E3-H,58.451) pray where are your Coaches and Servants , my Lord ? (VANBR-E3-H,58.452) Y. Fash. Sir , that I might give you and your fair Daughter a proof how impatient I am to be nearer a kin to you , I left my Equipage to follow me , (VANBR-E3-H,59.454) and came away Post , with only one Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,59.455) Sir Tun. Your Lordship does me too much honour , (VANBR-E3-H,59.456) it was exposing your Person to too much Fatigue and Danger , (VANBR-E3-H,59.457) I protest it was ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.458) but my Daughter shall endeavour to make you what amends she can ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.459) and tho' I say it , that shou'd not say it - Hoyden has Charms . (VANBR-E3-H,59.460) Y. Fash. Sir , I am not a Stranger to them , tho' I am to her . (VANBR-E3-H,59.461) Common Fame has done her Justice . (VANBR-E3-H,59.462) Sir Tun. My Lord , I am Common Fame's very grateful humble Servant . (VANBR-E3-H,59.463) My Lord - my $Girl $'s {TEXT:Girl's} young , (VANBR-E3-H,59.464) Hoyden is young , my Lord ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.465) but this I must say for her , (VANBR-E3-H,59.466) what she wants in Art , she has by Nature ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.467) what she wants in Experience , she has in Breeding ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.468) and $what $'s {TEXT:what's} wanting in her Age , is made good in her Constitution . (VANBR-E3-H,59.469) So pray , my Lord , walk in ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.470) pray my Lord , walk in . (VANBR-E3-H,59.471) Y. Fash. Sir , I wait upon you . (VANBR-E3-H,59.472) Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-H,59.473) SCENE IV . (VANBR-E3-H,59.475) A ROOM IN THE SAME . (VANBR-E3-H,59.476) Miss Hoyden sola . Sure never no body was us'd as I am . (VANBR-E3-H,59.478) I know well enough what other Girls do , for all they think to make a Fool of me : (VANBR-E3-H,59.479) $It $'s {TEXT:It's} well I have a Husband a coming , (VANBR-E3-H,59.480) or Icod , $I $'d {TEXT:I'd} marry the Baker , (VANBR-E3-H,59.481) I wou'd so . (VANBR-E3-H,59.482) No body can knock at the Gate , but presently I must be lockt up ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.483) and $here $'s {TEXT:here's} the young Greyhound Bitch can run loose about the House all the day long , she can ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.484) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} very well . (VANBR-E3-H,59.485) Nurse without , opening the Door . Miss Hoyden , (VANBR-E3-H,59.486) Miss , (VANBR-E3-H,59.487) Miss , (VANBR-E3-H,59.488) Miss ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.489) Miss Hoyden . (VANBR-E3-H,59.490) Enter Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,59.491) Miss . Well , what do you make such a Noise for , ha ? (VANBR-E3-H,59.492) What do you din a Bodies Ears for ? (VANBR-E3-H,59.493) $Can $n't {TEXT:Can't} one be at quiet for you ? (VANBR-E3-H,59.494) Nurse . What do I din your Ears for ? (VANBR-E3-H,59.495) $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} one come will din your Ears for you . (VANBR-E3-H,59.496) Miss . What care I $who $'s {TEXT:who's} come ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.497) I care not a Fig who comes , nor who goes , as long as I must be lock'd up like the Ale-Cellar . (VANBR-E3-H,59.498) Nurse . That , Miss , is for fear you shou'd be drank before you are Ripe . (VANBR-E3-H,59.499) Miss . O , $do $n't {TEXT:don't} you trouble your Head about that ; (VANBR-E3-H,59.500) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} as Ripe as you , tho' not so Mellow . (VANBR-E3-H,59.501) Nurse . Very well ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.503) now I have a good mind to lock you up again , and not let you see my Lord to-night . (VANBR-E3-H,60.504) Miss . My Lord ? (VANBR-E3-H,60.505) Why is my Husband come ? (VANBR-E3-H,60.506) Nurse . Yes , marry is he , (VANBR-E3-H,60.507) and a goodly Person , too . (VANBR-E3-H,60.508) Miss . hugging Nurse . O my dear Nurse , forgive me this once , (VANBR-E3-H,60.509) and $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} never misuse you again ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.510) no , if I do , you shall give me three thumps on the Back , and a great pinch by the Cheek . (VANBR-E3-H,60.511) Nurse . Ah the poor Thing , (VANBR-E3-H,60.512) see how it melts ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.513) $it $'s {TEXT:it's} as full of good Nature as an $Egg $'s {TEXT:Egg's} full of Meat . (VANBR-E3-H,60.514) Miss . But , my dear Nurse , $do $n't {TEXT:don't} lie now ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.515) is he come by your troth ? (VANBR-E3-H,60.516) Nurse . Yes , by my truly , is he . (VANBR-E3-H,60.517) Miss . O Lord ! (VANBR-E3-H,60.518) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} go and put on my Lac'd Smock , tho' I am whipt till the Blood run down my Heels for't . (VANBR-E3-H,60.519) Exit running . (VANBR-E3-H,60.520) Nurse . Eh - the Lord succour thee , (VANBR-E3-H,60.521) how thou art delighted . (VANBR-E3-H,60.522) Exit after her . (VANBR-E3-H,60.523) SCENE V . (VANBR-E3-H,60.525) ANOTHER ROOM IN THE SAME . (VANBR-E3-H,60.526) Enter Sir Tunbelly and Young Fashion . (VANBR-E3-H,60.528) A Servant with Wine . Sir Tun. My Lord , I am proud of the Honour to see your Lordship within my Doors ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.529) and I humbly crave leave to bid you welcome in a Cup of Sack Wine . (VANBR-E3-H,60.530) Y. Fash. Sir , to your Daughter's Health . (VANBR-E3-H,60.531) Drinks . (VANBR-E3-H,60.532) Sir Tun. Ah poor Girl , $she $'ll {TEXT:she'll} be scar'd out of her Wits on her Wedding Night ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.533) for , honestly speaking , she does not know a Man from a Woman , but by his Beard , and his Britches . (VANBR-E3-H,60.534) Y. Fash. Sir , I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} doubt she has a Vertuous Education , which with the rest of her Merit , makes me long to see her mine . (VANBR-E3-H,60.535) I wish you wou'd dispense with the Canonical Hour , and let it be this very Night . (VANBR-E3-H,60.536) Sir Tun. O not so soon neither ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.537) $that $'s {TEXT:that's} shooting my Girl before you bid her stand . (VANBR-E3-H,60.538) No , give her fair warning ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.539) $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} Sign and Seal to Night if you please ; (VANBR-E3-H,60.540) and this Day seven-night - let the Jade look to her Quarters . (VANBR-E3-H,60.541) Y. Fash. This Day Sennight - (VANBR-E3-H,60.542) Why , what do you take me for (VANBR-E3-H,60.543) a Ghost , Sir ? (VANBR-E3-H,60.544) 'Slife , Sir , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} made of Flesh and Blood , and Bones and Sinews , (VANBR-E3-H,60.545) and can no more live a Week without your Daughter - Than I can live a Month with her Aside . (VANBR-E3-H,60.546) Sir Tun. Oh , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant you my Hero , young Men are hot I know , (VANBR-E3-H,60.547) but they $do $n't {TEXT:don't} boyl over at that rate , neither ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.549) besides , my Wenches Wedding Gown is not come home yet . (VANBR-E3-H,61.550) Y. Fash. O , no matter , Sir , (VANBR-E3-H,61.551) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} take her in her Shift . (VANBR-E3-H,61.552) Aside . A Pox of this Old Fellow , (VANBR-E3-H,61.553) $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} delay the business till my damn'd Star finds me out , and discovers me . (VANBR-E3-H,61.554) To Sir Tun. Pray , Sir , let it be done without a Ceremony , (VANBR-E3-H,61.555) $'t $will {TEXT:'twill} save Money . (VANBR-E3-H,61.556) Sir Tun. Money - (VANBR-E3-H,61.557) Save Money when $Hoyden $'s {TEXT:Hoyden's} to be married ? (VANBR-E3-H,61.558) Udswoons $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} give my Wench a Wedding-Dinner , tho' I go to Grass with the King of Assyria for't , (VANBR-E3-H,61.559) and such a Dinner it shall be , as is not to be Cook'd in the Poaching of an Egg . (VANBR-E3-H,61.560) Therefore , my Noble Lord , have a little Patience , (VANBR-E3-H,61.561) $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} go and look over our Deeds and Settlements immediately ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.562) and as for your Bride , tho' you may be sharp set before $she $'s {TEXT:she's} quite ready , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} engage for my Girl , she stays your Stomach at last . (VANBR-E3-H,61.563) Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-H,61.564) ACT IV . (VANBR-E3-H,61.566) SCENE I . (VANBR-E3-H,61.567) A Room in Sir Tunbelly Clumsey's Country House . (VANBR-E3-H,61.569) Enter Miss Hoyden and Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,61.570) Nurse . Well Miss , how do you like your Husband that is to be ? (VANBR-E3-H,61.571) Miss . O Lord , Nurse , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} so overjoy'd , I can scarce contain my self . (VANBR-E3-H,61.572) Nurse . O , but you must have a care of being too fond , (VANBR-E3-H,61.573) for Men now a days hate a Woman that loves 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,61.574) Miss . Love him ? (VANBR-E3-H,61.575) Why do you think I love him , Nurse ? (VANBR-E3-H,61.576) ICod , I would not care if he were hang'd , so I were but once Married to him - (VANBR-E3-H,61.577) No - that which pleases me , is to think what work $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} make when I get to London ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.578) for when I am a Wife and a Lady both Nurse , ICod , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} flant it with the best of 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,61.579) Nurse . Look , look , if his Honour be not a coming to you ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.580) now if I were sure you wou'd behave yourself handsomely , and not disgrace me that have brought you up , $I $'d {TEXT:I'd} leave you alone together . (VANBR-E3-H,61.581) Miss . $That $'s {TEXT:That's} my best Nurse , (VANBR-E3-H,61.582) do as you wou'd be done by ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.583) trust us together this once ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.584) and if I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} shew my Breeding from the head to the foot of me , may I be twice Married , and die a Maid . (VANBR-E3-H,61.585) Nurse . Well , this once $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} venture you ; (VANBR-E3-H,61.586) but if you disparage me - (VANBR-E3-H,61.587) Miss . Never fear , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} shew him my Parts , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant him . (VANBR-E3-H,61.588) Exit Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,61.589) Sola . These old women are so wise when they get a poor Girl in their Clutches ; (VANBR-E3-H,62.590) but e'er it be long , I shall know $what $'s {TEXT:what's} what , as well as the best of 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,62.591) Enter Young Fashion . (VANBR-E3-H,62.592) Y. Fash. Your Servant , Madam , (VANBR-E3-H,62.593) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} glad to find you alone , (VANBR-E3-H,62.594) for I have something of Importance to speak to you about . (VANBR-E3-H,62.595) Miss . Sir , my Lord , I meant you may speak to me about what you please , (VANBR-E3-H,62.596) I shall give you a Civil Answer . (VANBR-E3-H,62.597) Y. Fash. You give me so obliging a one , it encourages me to tell you in few words , what I think both-2 for your interest and mine . (VANBR-E3-H,62.598) Your Father , I suppose you know , has resolv'd to make me happy in being your Husband , (VANBR-E3-H,62.599) and I hope I may depend upon your Consent , to perform what he desires . (VANBR-E3-H,62.600) Miss . Sir , I never disobey my Father in any thing , but eating of green Gooseberries . (VANBR-E3-H,62.601) Y. Fash. So good a Daughter must needs be an admirable Wife ; (VANBR-E3-H,62.602) I am therefore impatient 'till you are mine ; (VANBR-E3-H,62.603) and hope you will so far consider the violence of my Love , that you $wo $n't {TEXT:won't} have the Cruelty to defer my Happiness so long as your Father designs it . (VANBR-E3-H,62.604) Miss . Pray , my Lord , how long is it ? (VANBR-E3-H,62.605) Y. Fash. Madam , a thousand year - a whole Week . (VANBR-E3-H,62.606) Miss . A week - (VANBR-E3-H,62.607) why , I shall be an old Woman by that time . (VANBR-E3-H,62.608) Y. Fash. And I an old Man , which $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find a greater Misfortune than t'other . (VANBR-E3-H,62.609) Miss . Why I thought $'t $was {TEXT:'twas} to be to morrow morning , as soon as I was up ; (VANBR-E3-H,62.610) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} sure Nurse told me so . (VANBR-E3-H,62.611) Y. Fash. And it shall be to morrow morning still , if $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} consent ? (VANBR-E3-H,62.612) Miss . If $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} consent ? (VANBR-E3-H,62.613) Why I thought I was to obey you as my Husband ? (VANBR-E3-H,62.614) Y. Fash. $That $'s {TEXT:That's} when we are Married ; (VANBR-E3-H,62.615) 'till then , I am to obey you . (VANBR-E3-H,62.616) Miss . Why then if we are to take it by turns , $it $'s {TEXT:it's} the same thing ; (VANBR-E3-H,62.617) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} obey you now , (VANBR-E3-H,62.618) and when we are Married , you shall obey me . (VANBR-E3-H,62.619) Y. Fash. With all my heart , (VANBR-E3-H,62.620) but I doubt we must get Nurse on our side , (VANBR-E3-H,62.621) or we shall hardly prevail with the Chaplain . (VANBR-E3-H,62.622) Miss . No more we $shall $n't {TEXT:shan't} indeed , (VANBR-E3-H,62.623) for he loves her better than he loves his Pulpit , (VANBR-E3-H,62.624) and wou'd always be a preaching to her , by his good will . (VANBR-E3-H,62.625) Y. Fash. Why then my dear little Bedfellow , if $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} call her hither , $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} try to perswade her presently . (VANBR-E3-H,62.626) Miss . O Lord , I can tell you a way how to perswade her to any thing . (VANBR-E3-H,62.627) Y. Fash. $How $'s {TEXT:How's} that ? (VANBR-E3-H,62.628) Miss . Why tell her $she $'s {TEXT:she's} a wholesom , Comely Woman - (VANBR-E3-H,62.629) and give her Half a Crown . (VANBR-E3-H,62.630) Y. Fash. Nay , if that will do , she shall have half a score of 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,62.631) Miss . O Gemini , for half that $she $'d {TEXT:she'd} Marry you herself : (VANBR-E3-H,63.633) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} run and call her . (VANBR-E3-H,63.634) Exit Miss . (VANBR-E3-H,63.635) Young Fashion solus . So , Matters go swimmingly ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.636) this is a rare Girl , I'faith ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.637) I shall have a fine time on't with her at London ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.638) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} much mistaken , if she $do $n't {TEXT:don't} prove a March Hare all the year round . (VANBR-E3-H,63.639) What a scamp'ring Chace will she make on't , when she finds the whole Kennel of Beaux at her Tail ! (VANBR-E3-H,63.640) Hey to the Park and the Play , and the Church , and the Devil ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.641) $she $'ll {TEXT:she'll} shew 'em sport $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant 'em . (VANBR-E3-H,63.642) But no matter , she brings an Estate will afford me a separate Maintenance . (VANBR-E3-H,63.643) Enter Miss and Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,63.644) Y. Fash. How do you do , good Mistress Nurse ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.645) I desir'd your young Lady would give me leave to see you , that I might thank you for your extraordinary Care and Conduct in her Education ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.646) pray accept of this small Acknowledgement for it at present , (VANBR-E3-H,63.647) and depend upon my farther kindness , when I shall be that happy thing her Husband . (VANBR-E3-H,63.648) Nurse . aside . Gold by makings , (VANBR-E3-H,63.649) your Honour's goodness is too great ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.650) alas , all I can boast of is , I gave her pure good Milk , (VANBR-E3-H,63.651) and so your Honour wou'd have said , an you had seen how the poor thing suck't it - (VANBR-E3-H,63.652) Eh , God's Blessing on the sweet Face on't ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.653) how it us'd to hang at this poor Tett , and suck and squeeze , and kick and sprawl it wou'd , till the Belly on't was so full , it wou'd drop off like a Leech . (VANBR-E3-H,63.654) Miss to Nurse , taking her angrily aside . Pray one word with you ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.655) $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prithee} Nurse $do $n't {TEXT:don't} stand ripping up Old Stories , to make one asham'd before one's Love ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.656) do you think such a fine proper Gentleman as he , cares for a fiddlecome Tale of a draggle-tail'd Girl ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.657) if you have a mind to make him have a good Opinion of a Woman , $do $n't {TEXT:don't} tell him what one did then , (VANBR-E3-H,63.658) tell him what one can do now . (VANBR-E3-H,63.659) To Y. Fash. I hope your Honour will excuse my mismanners to whisper before you , (VANBR-E3-H,63.660) it was only to give some Orders about the Family . (VANBR-E3-H,63.661) Y. Fash. O every thing , Madam , is to give way to Business ; (VANBR-E3-H,63.662) besides , good Housewifery is a very commendable Quality in a young Lady . (VANBR-E3-H,63.663) Miss . Pray Sir , are the young Ladies good Housewives at London Town ? (VANBR-E3-H,63.664) Do they darn their own Linnen ? (VANBR-E3-H,63.665) Y. Fash. O no , they study how to spend Money , not to save it . (VANBR-E3-H,63.666) Miss . I'Cod , I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know but that may be better Sport than t'other , ha , Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,63.667) Y. Fash. Well , you shall have your Choice when you come there . (VANBR-E3-H,63.668) Miss . Shall I ? - (VANBR-E3-H,63.669) then by my troth $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} get there as fast as I can . (VANBR-E3-H,63.670) To Nurse . His Honour desires $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} be so kind , as to let us be Married to Morrow . (VANBR-E3-H,63.671) Nurse . To Morrow , my dear Madam ? (VANBR-E3-H,63.672) Y. Fash. Yes , to Morrow sweet Nurse ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.674) privately ; young Folks you know are impatient , (VANBR-E3-H,64.675) and Sir Tunbelly wou'd make us stay a Week for a Wedding-Dinner . (VANBR-E3-H,64.676) Now all things being Sign'd , and Seal'd , and Agreed , I fancy there cou'd be no great harm in practising a Scene or two of Matrimony in private , if it were only to give us the better assurance when we come to play it in publick . (VANBR-E3-H,64.677) Nurse . Nay , I must confess stolen Pleasures are sweet ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.678) but if you shou'd be married now , what will you do when Sir Tunbelly calls for you to be wedd ? (VANBR-E3-H,64.679) Miss . Why then we will be married again . (VANBR-E3-H,64.680) Nurse . What , twice my Child ? (VANBR-E3-H,64.681) Miss . ICod , I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} care how often $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} Married , not I . (VANBR-E3-H,64.682) Y. Fash. Pray Nurse $do $n't {TEXT:don't} you be against your young Lady's good ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.683) for by this means $she $'ll {TEXT:she'll} have the pleasure of two Wedding-Days . (VANBR-E3-H,64.684) Miss to Nurse softly . And of two Wedding-Nights too , Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,64.685) Nurse . Well , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} such a tender-hearted Fool , I find I can refuse nothing ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.686) so you shall e'en follow your own Inventions . (VANBR-E3-H,64.687) Miss . Shall I ? (VANBR-E3-H,64.688) Aside . O Lord , I cou'd leap over the Moon . (VANBR-E3-H,64.689) Y. Fash. Dear Nurse , this goodness of yours $shall $n't {TEXT:shan't} go unrewarded ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.690) but now you must employ your power with Mr. Bull the Chaplain , that he may do us his Friendly Office too , (VANBR-E3-H,64.691) and then we shall all be happy ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.692) do you think you can prevail with him ? (VANBR-E3-H,64.693) Nurse . Prevail with him - (VANBR-E3-H,64.694) or he shall never prevail with me , (VANBR-E3-H,64.695) I can tell him that . (VANBR-E3-H,64.696) Miss . My Lord , she has had him upon the hip this seven year . (VANBR-E3-H,64.697) Y. Fash. $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} glad to hear it ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.698) however , to strengthen your interest with him , you may let him know I have several fat Livings in my Gift , and that the first that falls shall be in your disposal . (VANBR-E3-H,64.699) Nurse . Nay , then $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} make him Marry more Folks than one , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} promise him . (VANBR-E3-H,64.700) Miss . Faith do Nurse , (VANBR-E3-H,64.701) make him marry you too , (VANBR-E3-H,64.702) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} sure $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} $do $'t {TEXT:do't} for a fat Living ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.703) for he loves Eating more than he loves his Bible ; (VANBR-E3-H,64.704) and I have often heard him say , a fat Living was the best Meat in the World . (VANBR-E3-H,64.705) Nurse . Ay , and $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} make him commend the Sauce too , (VANBR-E3-H,64.706) or $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} bring his Gown to a Cassock , (VANBR-E3-H,64.707) I will so . (VANBR-E3-H,64.708) Y. Fash. Well Nurse , whilst you go and settle Matters with him , your Lady and I will go take a walk in the Garden . (VANBR-E3-H,64.709) Nurse . $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} do your Honour's business in the catching up of a Garter . (VANBR-E3-H,64.710) Exit Nurse . (VANBR-E3-H,64.711) Y. Fash. Giving her his Hand . Come , Madam , (VANBR-E3-H,64.712) dare you venture your self alone with me ? (VANBR-E3-H,64.713) Miss . O dear , yes , Sir , I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} think $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} do any thing to me I need be afraid on . (VANBR-E3-H,64.714) Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-H,64.715)