Madam , The wise Bensirach advised that we should not
consult with a woman concerning her of whom she is jealous , neither
with a coward in matters of warre , nor with a merchant concerning
exchange ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,5.2)
and some other instances he gives of interested persons , to whom he
would not have us hearken in any matter of Counsel .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.3)
For where ever the interest is secular or vitious
, there the bias is not on the side of truth or
reason , because these are seldom serv'd
by profit and low regards . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.4)
But to consult with a friend in matters of friendship is like
consulting with a spiritual person in Religion ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.5)
they who understand the secrets of Religion or the interior beauties of
friendship are the fittest to give answers in all inquiries concerning
the respective subjects ; because reason and
experience are on the side of interest ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.6)
and that which in friendship is most pleasing and most
useful , is also most reasonable and most
true ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.7)
and a friends fairest interest is the best measure of the conducting
friendships : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.8)
and therefore you who are so eminent in friendships could also have
given the best answer to your own inquiries ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.9)
and you could have trusted your own reason , because it is not onely
greatly instructed by the direct notices of things , but also by great
experience in the matter of which you now inquire .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.10)
But because I will not use any thing that shall look like an excuse , I
will rather give you such an account which you can easily reprove ,
then by declining your commands , seem more safe in my prudence , then
open and communicative in my friendship to you .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.11)
You first inquire how far a Dear and a perfect friendship is authoriz'd
by the principles of Christianity ? (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.12)
To this I answer that the word Friendship in the sense
we commonly mean by it , is not so much as named in the
New-Testament ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.13)
& our Religion takes no notice of it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.14)
You think it strange ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.15)
but read on before you spend so much as the beginning of a passion or a
Wonder upon it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.16)
There is mention of Friendship with the world ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.17)
and it is said to be enmity with God ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.18)
but the word is no where else named , or to any other purpose in all
the New Testament . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.19)
It speaks of Friends often ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.20)
but by Friends are meant our acquaintance , or our
Kindred , the relatives of our family or our fortune , or our sect ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.21)
something of society , or something of kindness there is in it ; a
tenderness of appellation and civility , a relation made by gifts , or
by duty , by services and subjection ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.22)
and I think , I have reason to be confident , that the word
Friend speaking of humane intercourse is
no other-wayes used in the Gospels or Epistles , or Acts of the
Apostles : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.23)
and the reason of it is , the word Friend is of a large
signification ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.24)
and means all relations and societies , and whatsoever is not
enemy ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.25)
but by friendships , I suppose you mean , the
greatest love , and the greatest usefulnesse , and the most open
communication , and the noble sufferings , and the most exemplar
faithfulness , and the severest truth , and the heartest {COM:sic}
counsel , and the greatest union of minds , of which brave men
and women are capable . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.26)
But then I must tell you that Christianity hath new christened it ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.27)
and calls this Charity . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.28)
The Christian knowes no enemy he hath ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.29)
that is , though persons may be injurious to him , and unworthy in
themselves , yet he knowes none whom he is not first bound to forgive ,
which is indeed to make them on his part to be no enemies ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.30)
that is , to make that the word enemy shall not be
perfectly contrary to Friend ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.31)
it shall not be a relative term and signifie something on each hand , a
relative and a correlative ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.32)
and then he knowes none whom he is not bound to love & pray for , to
treat kindly and justly , liberally , and obligingly .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.33)
Christian Charity is Friendship to all the world ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.34)
and when Friendships were the noblest things in the world , Charity was
little , like the Sun drawn in at a chink , or his beams drawn into the
centre of a Burning glass ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.35)
but Christian Charity is Friendship , expanded like the face of the Sun
when it mounts above the Eastern hills : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.36)
and I was strangely pleased when I saw something of this in Cicero ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.37)
for I have been so push'd at by herds and flockes of people that
follow any body that whistles to them , or drives them to pasture ,
that I am grown afraid of any Truth that seems chargeable with
singularity : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.38)
but therefore I say , glad I was when I saw Laelius in
Cicero discourse thus : Amicitia ex infinitate
generis humani quam conciliavit ipsa natura , contracta res est , &
adducta in angustum ; ut omnis charitas , aut inter duos , aut inter
paucos jungeretur . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.39)
Nature hath made Friendships , and $societies , relations and
endearments ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.40)
and by something or other we relate to all the world ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.41)
there is enough in every man that is willing , to make him becom our
friend ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.42)
but when men contract Frlendships , they inclose the Commons ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.43)
and what Nature intended should be every mans , we make proper to two
or three . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.44)
Friendship is like rivers and the strand of seas , and the ayre ,
common to all the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.45)
but Tyrants , and civil Customs , Warres , and want of Love have made
them proper and peculiar . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.46)
But when Christianity came to renew our nature , and to rest ore our
lawes , and to increase her priviledges , and to make her aptness to
becom Religion , then it was declared that our Friendships were to be
as universal as our conversation ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.47)
that is , actual to all with whom we converse , and
potentially extended unto those with whom we did not .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.48)
For he who was to treat his enemies with forgiveness and prayers , and
love , and beneficence was indeed to have no enemies , and to have all
friends . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.49)
So that to your question , how far a Dear & perfect Friendship is
authoriz'd by the principles of Christianity ? The answer is
ready and easie . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.50)
It is warranted to extend to all Mankind ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.51)
and the more we love , the better we are , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.52)
and the greater our friendships are , the dearer we are to God ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.53)
let them be as Dear , and let them be as perfect , and let them be as
many as you can ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.54)
there is no danger in it ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.55)
onely where the restraint begins , there begins our imperfection ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.56)
it is not ill that you entertain brave Friendships and worthy societies
: (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.57)
it were well if you could love . and if you could
benefit all Mankind ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.58)
for I conceive that is the sum of all Friendships .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.59)
I confess this is not to be expected of us in this world ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.60)
but as all our graces here are but imperfect , that is , at the best
they are but tendencies to glory , so our Friendships are
imperfect too , and but beginnings of a coelestial Friendship , by
which we shall love every one as much as they can be loved .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.61)
But then so we must here in our proportion ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.62)
and indeed that is it that can make the difference ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.63)
we must be friends to all : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.64)
That is , apt to do good , loving them really , and doing to them all
the benefits which we can , and which they are capable of .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.65)
The Friendship is equall to all the World , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.66)
and of it self hath no difference ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.67)
but is differenced onely by accidents , and by the capacity or
incapacity of them that receive it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.68)