Madam , The wise Bensirach advised that we should not consult with a woman concerning her of whom she is jealous , neither with a coward in matters of warre , nor with a merchant concerning exchange ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,5.2) and some other instances he gives of interested persons , to whom he would not have us hearken in any matter of Counsel . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.3) For where ever the interest is secular or vitious , there the bias is not on the side of truth or reason , because these are seldom serv'd by profit and low regards . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.4) But to consult with a friend in matters of friendship is like consulting with a spiritual person in Religion ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.5) they who understand the secrets of Religion or the interior beauties of friendship are the fittest to give answers in all inquiries concerning the respective subjects ; because reason and experience are on the side of interest ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.6) and that which in friendship is most pleasing and most useful , is also most reasonable and most true ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.7) and a friends fairest interest is the best measure of the conducting friendships : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,6.8) and therefore you who are so eminent in friendships could also have given the best answer to your own inquiries , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.9) and you could have trusted your own reason , because it is not onely greatly instructed by the direct notices of things , but also by great experience in the matter of which you now inquire . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.10) But because I will not use any thing that shall look like an excuse , I will rather give you such an account which you can easily reprove , then by declining your commands , seem more safe in my prudence , then open and communicative in my friendship to you . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.11) You first inquire how far a Dear and a perfect friendship is authoriz'd by the principles of Christianity ? (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,7.12) To this I answer that the word Friendship in the sense we commonly mean by it , is not so much as named in the New-Testament ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.13) & our Religion takes no notice of it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.14) You think it strange ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.15) but read on before you spend so much as the beginning of a passion or a Wonder upon it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.16) There is mention of Friendship with the world , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.17) and it is said to be enmity with God ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.18) but the word is no where else named , or to any other purpose in all the New Testament . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.19) It speaks of Friends often ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.20) but by Friends are meant our acquaintance , or our Kindred , the relatives of our family or our fortune , or our sect ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.21) something of society , or something of kindness there is in it ; a tenderness of appellation and civility , a relation made by gifts , or by duty , by services and subjection ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,8.22) and I think , I have reason to be confident , that the word Friend speaking of humane intercourse is no other-wayes used in the Gospels or Epistles , or Acts of the Apostles : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.23) and the reason of it is , the word Friend is of a large signification ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.24) and means all relations and societies , and whatsoever is not enemy ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.25) but by friendships , I suppose you mean , the greatest love , and the greatest usefulnesse , and the most open communication , and the noble sufferings , and the most exemplar faithfulness , and the severest truth , and the heartest {COM:sic} counsel , and the greatest union of minds , of which brave men and women are capable . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.26) But then I must tell you that Christianity hath new christened it , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.27) and calls this Charity . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.28) The Christian knowes no enemy he hath ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,9.29) that is , though persons may be injurious to him , and unworthy in themselves , yet he knowes none whom he is not first bound to forgive , which is indeed to make them on his part to be no enemies , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.30) that is , to make that the word enemy shall not be perfectly contrary to Friend , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.31) it shall not be a relative term and signifie something on each hand , a relative and a correlative ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.32) and then he knowes none whom he is not bound to love & pray for , to treat kindly and justly , liberally , and obligingly . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.33) Christian Charity is Friendship to all the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.34) and when Friendships were the noblest things in the world , Charity was little , like the Sun drawn in at a chink , or his beams drawn into the centre of a Burning glass ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.35) but Christian Charity is Friendship , expanded like the face of the Sun when it mounts above the Eastern hills : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.36) and I was strangely pleased when I saw something of this in Cicero ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,10.37) for I have been so push'd at by herds and flockes of people that follow any body that whistles to them , or drives them to pasture , that I am grown afraid of any Truth that seems chargeable with singularity : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.38) but therefore I say , glad I was when I saw Laelius in Cicero discourse thus : Amicitia ex infinitate generis humani quam conciliavit ipsa natura , contracta res est , & adducta in angustum ; ut omnis charitas , aut inter duos , aut inter paucos jungeretur . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.39) Nature hath made Friendships , and $societies , relations and endearments ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.40) and by something or other we relate to all the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.41) there is enough in every man that is willing , to make him becom our friend ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.42) but when men contract Frlendships , they inclose the Commons ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,11.43) and what Nature intended should be every mans , we make proper to two or three . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.44) Friendship is like rivers and the strand of seas , and the ayre , common to all the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.45) but Tyrants , and civil Customs , Warres , and want of Love have made them proper and peculiar . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.46) But when Christianity came to renew our nature , and to rest ore our lawes , and to increase her priviledges , and to make her aptness to becom Religion , then it was declared that our Friendships were to be as universal as our conversation ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.47) that is , actual to all with whom we converse , and potentially extended unto those with whom we did not . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.48) For he who was to treat his enemies with forgiveness and prayers , and love , and beneficence was indeed to have no enemies , and to have all friends . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,12.49) So that to your question , how far a Dear & perfect Friendship is authoriz'd by the principles of Christianity ? The answer is ready and easie . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.50) It is warranted to extend to all Mankind ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.51) and the more we love , the better we are , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.52) and the greater our friendships are , the dearer we are to God ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.53) let them be as Dear , and let them be as perfect , and let them be as many as you can ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.54) there is no danger in it ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.55) onely where the restraint begins , there begins our imperfection ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.56) it is not ill that you entertain brave Friendships and worthy societies : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.57) it were well if you could love . and if you could benefit all Mankind ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.58) for I conceive that is the sum of all Friendships . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.59) I confess this is not to be expected of us in this world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,13.60) but as all our graces here are but imperfect , that is , at the best they are but tendencies to glory , so our Friendships are imperfect too , and but beginnings of a coelestial Friendship , by which we shall love every one as much as they can be loved . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.61) But then so we must here in our proportion ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.62) and indeed that is it that can make the difference ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.63) we must be friends to all : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.64) That is , apt to do good , loving them really , and doing to them all the benefits which we can , and which they are capable of . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.65) The Friendship is equall to all the World , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.66) and of it self hath no difference ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.67) but is differenced onely by accidents , and by the capacity or incapacity of them that receive it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P1,14.68)