I walke out in a morning , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.2) come to breake-fast , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.3) Find excellent Cheere , a good Fier in Winter , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.4) Looke in my Coale-house about Midsommer-eeue , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.5) $That $'s {TEXT:That's} full , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.6) fiue or sixe Chaldorne , new layd vp , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.7) Looke in my backe yeard , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.8) I shall find a steeple Made vp with Kentish Fagots , which o're-lookes The Water-House and the Wind-milles , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.9) I say nothing (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.10) But smile , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.11) and pin the doore , when she lyes in , As now $she $'s {TEXT:she's} euen vpon the point of grunting , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.12) A Lady lyes not in like her , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.13) $there $'s {TEXT:there's} her imbossings , Embrodrings , spanglings , and I know not what , As if she lay with all the gaudy Shops in Gressams Bursse about her , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.14) then her restoratiues , Able to set vp a young Pothecarie , And richly stocke , the Foreman of a Drug-shop . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.15) Her Sugar by whole Loaues , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.16) her Wines by Rundlets . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.17) I see these things , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.18) but like a happy Man , I pay for none at all , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.19) yet Fooles $think $'s {TEXT:think's} mine , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.20) I haue the name , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.21) and in his Gold I shine . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.22) And where some Merchants would in Soule kisse Hell , To buy a Paradice for their Wiues , and dye Their Conscience in the Bloods of prodigall Heires , To decke their Night-peece , yet all this being done , Eaten with iealousie to the inmost Bone , As what affliction Nature more constraynes , Then feed the Wife plumpe , for anothers veynes . These torments stand I freed of , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.23) I am as cleere From iealousie of a Wife , as from the charge . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.24) O two miraculous blessings , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} the Knight Hath tooke that labour , all out of my hands , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.25) I may sit still and play , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.26) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} iealouse for me , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.27) Watches her steps , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.28) sets spyes , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.29) I liue at ease , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.30) He has both the cost and torment , when the strings Of his Heart freats , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.31) I feed , laugh , or sing , La dildo , dildo la dildo , la dildo dildo da dildo . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,9.32) Enter two Seruants . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.34) 1 What has he got a singing in his Head now ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.35) 2 $Now $'s {TEXT:Now's} out of worke he falles to making Dildo's . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.36) All. Now Sirs , S=r= $Walter $'s {TEXT:Walters} come . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.37) 1 Is our Master come ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.38) All. Your Master , what am I ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.39) 1 Doe you not know Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.40) All. Pray am not I your Master ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.41) 1. O you are but our Mistresse's Husband . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.42) Enter Sir Walter , and Dauy . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.43) All. Ergo Knaue , your Master . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.44) 1 Negatur argumentum . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.45) Here comes S=r= Walter , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.46) now a stands bare as well as we , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.47) make the most of him (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.48) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} but one peepe aboue a Seruingman , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.49) and so much his Hornes make him . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.50) S. Walt. How dost Iacke ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.51) All. Proud of your Worships health Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.52) S. Walt. How does your Wife ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.53) All. Eene after your owne making Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.54) $She $'s {TEXT:She's} a tumbler a faith , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.55) the Nose and Belly meets . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.56) S. Walt. $They $'ll {TEXT:The'ile} part in time againe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.57) All. At the good houre , they will and please your worship . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.58) S. Walt. Here Sirra , pull off my Boots . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.59) Put on , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.60) $put {TEXT:but} on Iacke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.61) All. I thanke your kind worship Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.62) S. Walt. Slippers , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.63) Heart you are sleepy . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.64) All. The game begins already . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.65) S. Walt. Pish , put on Iacke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.66) All. Now I must doe it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.67) or $he $'ll {TEXT:he'le} be as angry now , as if I had put it on at first bidding , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.68) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} but obseruing , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.69) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} but obseruing a Mans humour once , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.70) and he may ha' him by the Nose all his life . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,10.71) S. Walt. What entertainment has layne open here , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.73) No strangers in my absence ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.74) 1 Seru. Sure Sir not any . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.75) All. His iealousie begins , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.76) am not I happy now That can laugh inward whil'st his Marrow melts ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.77) S. Walt. How doe you satisfie me ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.78) 1 Ser. Good Sir be patient . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.79) S. Walt. For two months absence $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} be satisfied . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.80) 1 Ser. No liuing Creature entred . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.81) S. Walt. Entred , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.82) come sweare . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.83) 1 Ser. You will not heare me out Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.84) S. Walt. Yes $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} $heare $'t {TEXT:heare't} out Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.85) 1 Seru. Sir he can tell himselfe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.86) S. Walt. Heart he can tell , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.87) Doe you thinke $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} trust him ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.88) As a Vsurer With forfeited Lordships . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.89) Him , o` monsterous iniury ! (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.90) Beleeue him , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.91) can the Diuell speake ill of Darkenesse ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.92) What can you say Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.93) All. Of my soule and conscience Sir , $she $'s {TEXT:she's} a Wife as honest of her Body to me , as any Lords proud Lady can be . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.94) S. Walt. Yet by your leaue , I heard you were once offring to goe to bed to her . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.95) All. No I protest Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.96) S. Walt. Heart if you doe , you shall take all , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.97) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} marry . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.98) All. O I beseech you Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.99) S. Walt. That wakes the Slaue , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.100) and keepes his Flesh in awe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.101) All. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} stop that gap Where e'ere I find it open , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.102) I haue poysoned His hopes in marriage already , Some old rich Widdowes , and some landed Virgines , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.103) Enter two Children . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.104) And $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} fall to worke still before $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} lose him , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.105) $He $'s {TEXT:He's} yet too sweet to part from . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,11.106) 1 Boy . God-den Father . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.108) All. Ha Villaine , peace . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.109) 2 Boy . God-den Father . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.110) All. Peace Bastard , should he heare 'em . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.111) These are two foolish Children , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.112) they doe not know the Gentleman that sits there . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.113) S. Walt. Oh Wat , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.114) how dost Nicke ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.115) Goe to Schoole , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.116) Ply your Bookes Boyes , ha ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.117) All. $Where $'s {TEXT:Where's} your Legges Whoresons ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.118) They should kneele indeed if they could say their Prayers . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.119) S. Walt. Let me see , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.120) stay , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.121) How shall I dispose of these two Brats now When I am married , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.122) for they must not mingle Amongst my Children that I get in Wedlocke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.123) $'T $will {TEXT:'Twill} make foule worke that , and rayse many stormes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.124) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} bind Wat Prentice to a Goldsmith , my Father Yellowh. As fit as can be . Nick with some Vintner , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.125) good , Goldsmith And Vintner , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.126) there will be Wine in Boles I faith . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.127) Enter Allwit's Wife . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.128) Wife . Sweet Knight Welcome , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.129) I haue all my longings now in Towne , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.130) Now well-come the good houre . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.131) S. Walt. How cheeres my Mistris ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.132) Wife . Made lightsome , eene by him that made me heauy . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.133) S. Walt. Me thinkes she shewes gallantly , like a Moone at full Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.134) All. True , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.135) and if she beare a Male child , $there $'s {TEXT:there's} the Man in the Moone Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.136) S. Walt. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} but the Boy in the moone yet Goodman Calfe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.137) All. There was a Man , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.138) the Boy had neuer beene there else . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.139) S. Walt. It shall be yours Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.140) All. No by my troth , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} sweare $it $'s {TEXT:it's} none of mine , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.141) let him that got it keepe it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.142) thus doe I rid my selfe of feare , Lye soft , sleepe hard , drinke Wine , and eat good cheere . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,12.143) Actus Secundus . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.146) Enter Tuchwood Senior , and his Wife . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.148) Wife . $'T $will {TEXT:'Twill} be so tedious Sir to liue from you , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.149) But that necessitie must be obeyed . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.150) T. S. I would it might not Wife , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.151) the tediousnesse will be the most part mine , that vnderstand The blessings I haue in thee , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.152) so to part That driues the torment to a knowing Heart , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.153) But as thou say'st , we must giue way to need And liue awhile asunder , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.154) our desires are both too fruitfull for our barren fortunes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.155) How aduers runs the desteny of some Creatures , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.156) Some onely can get riches and no Children , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.157) We onely can get Children and no riches , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.158) Then $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} the prudents part to checke our willes , And till our state rise , make our Bloods lye still . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.159) 'Life euerie yeere a Child , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.160) and some yeeres two , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.161) Besides , drinkings abroad , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.162) $that $'s {TEXT:that's} neuer reckon'd , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.163) This geere will not hold out . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.164) Wife . Sir for a time , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} take the curtesie of my Vnkles House If you be pleas'd to like on't , till prosperitie Looke with a friendly Eye vpon our states . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.165) T. S. Honest Wife I thanke thee , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.166) I ne're knew The perfect treasure thou brough'st with thee more Then {I_knew_it} at this instant minute . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.167) A $man $'s {TEXT:man's} happy When $he $'s {TEXT:he's} at poorest that has match't his Soule As rightly as his Body . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,13.168) Had I married A sensuall Foole now , as $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} hard to scape it 'Mongst Gentlewomen of our time , she would ha' hang'd About my Necke , and neuer left her hold Till she had kist me into wanton businesses , Which at the waking of my better Iudgement I should haue curst most bitterly , And layd a thicker vengance on my act Then miserie of the Birth , which were enough If it were borne to greatnesse , whereas mine Is sure of beggerie , though it were got in Wine . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.169) Fulnesse of Ioy sheweth the goodnesse in thee , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.170) Thou art a matchless Wife , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.171) Farwell my Ioy . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.172) Wife . I shall not want your sight ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.173) T. S. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} see thee often , Talke in mirth , and play at kisses with thee , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.174) Any thing Wench but what may beget Beggers , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.175) There I giue o'er the Set , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.176) throw downe the Cards , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.177) And dare not take them vp . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.178) Wife . Your will be mine Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.179) Exit . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.180) T. S. This does not-1 onely-2 make her honestie perfect , But her discretion , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.181) and approues her Iudgement . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.182) Had her desire beene wanton , $they $'d {TEXT:they'd} beene blamelesse In being lawfull euer , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.183) but of all Creatures I hold that Wife a most vnmatched treasure , That can vnto her fortunes fixe her pleasure , And not vnto her Blood , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.184) this is like wedlocke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.185) The feast of marriage is not Lust but Loue , And care of the estate , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.186) when I please Blood , Meerely I sing , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.187) and sucke out others , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.188) then $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} many a wisemans fault , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.189) but of all Men I am the most vnfortunate in that game That euer pleas'd both Genders , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.190) I ne're play yet vnder a Bastard , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.191) the poore Wenches cursse me To the Pit where e're I come , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.192) they were ne're serued so , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.193) But vs'd to haue more words then one to a bargaine , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.194) I haue such a fatall Finger in such businesse I must forth with't , chiefely for Countrey Wenches , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.195) For euerie Haruest I shall hinder Hay-making , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.196) Enter a Wench with a Child . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.197) I had no lesse then seuen lay in last Progresse , Within three weekes of one anothers time . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,14.198) Actus Tertius . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.201) Enter Tuchwood Iunior , and a Parson . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.203) T. I. O Sir , if euer you felt the force of loue , pittie it in me . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.204) Par. Yes , though I was married Sir , I haue felt the force of loue from good mens daughters , And some that will be Mayds yet three yeeres hence . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.205) Haue you got a Licence ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.206) T. I. Here $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} ready Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.207) Par. $That $'s {TEXT:That's} well . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.208) T. I. The Ring and all things perfect , $she $'ll {TEXT:she'le} steale hither . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.209) Par. She shall be welcome Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.210) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} not be long A clapping you together . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.211) Enter Moll , and Tuchwood Senior . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.212) T. I. O here $she $'s {TEXT:she's} come Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.213) Par. $What $'s {TEXT:What's} he ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.214) T. I. My honest Brother . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.215) T. S. Quicke , make hast Sirs . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.216) Moll. You must dispatch with all the speed you can , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.217) For I shall be mist straight , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,29.218) I made hard shift For this small time I haue . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.219) Par. Then $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} not linger , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.220) Place that Ring vpon her Finger , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.221) This the Finger playes the part , Whose master Veine shoots from the Heart , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.222) Now ioyne Hands . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.223) Enter Yellow-hammer , and Sir Walter . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.224) Yell. Which I will seuer , And so ne're again meet neuer . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.225) Moll. O we are betray'd . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.226) T. I. Hard fate . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.227) S. Walt. I am strucke with wonder . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.228) Yell. Was this the politike fetch , thou misticall baggage Thou disobedient strumpet , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.229) And were so wise to send for her to such an end , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.230) S. Walt. Now I disclaime the end , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.231) $you $'ll {TEXT:you'le} make me mad . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.232) Yell. And what are you Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.233) T. I. And you $can $not {TEXT:cannot} see with those two Glasses , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.234) put on a paire more . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.235) Yell. I dreampt of anger still , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.236) here take your Ring Sir ; (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.237) Ha this , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.238) life $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} the same , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.239) abhominable , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.240) Did not I sell this Ring ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.241) T. I. I thinke you did , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.242) you receiued money for't . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.243) Yell. Heart , harke you Knight , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.244) $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} no inconscionable villany , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.245) Set me a worke to make the Wedding Ring , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.246) And come with an intent to steale my Daughter , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.247) Did euer run-a-way match it ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.248) S. Walt. ' This your Brother Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.249) T. S. He can tell that as well as I . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.250) Yell. The verie Poesie mockes me to my face , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.251) Loue $that $'s {TEXT:that's} wise , blinds Parents eyes , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.252) I thanke your wisedome Sir for blinding of vs , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.253) We haue good hope to recouer our sight shortly , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,30.254) In the meane time I will locke vp this baggage , As carefully as my Gold , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.255) she shall see as little Sunne If a close Roome or so can keepe her from the light on't . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.256) Moll. O sweet Father , for Loues sake pittie me . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.257) Yell. Away . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.258) Moll. Farewell Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.259) all content blesse thee , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.260) And take this for comfort , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.261) Though violence keepe me , thou canst loose me neuer , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.262) I am euer thine although we part for euer . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.263) Yell. I we shall part you Minkes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.264) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.265) S. Walt. Your acquaintance Sir , came verie lately , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.266) Yet it came too soone , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.267) I must here-after know you for no friend , But one that I must shun like Pestilence , Or the Disease of Lust . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.268) T. I. Like enough Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.269) you ha' tane me at the worst time for words that e're ye pick't out , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.270) faith doe not wrong me Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.271) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.272) T. S. Looke after him (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.273) and spare not , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.274) there he walkes That neuer yet receiued baffling , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.275) $you $'re {TEXT:you'r} blest , More then ere I knew , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.276) goe (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.277) take your rest . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.278) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.279) S. Walt. I pardon you , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.280) you are both loosers . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.281) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.282) A Bed thrust out vpon the Stage , Allwits Wife in it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.283) Enter all the Gossips . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.284) 1 Goss. How $is $'t {TEXT:ist} Woman , we haue brought you home A Kursen Soule . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.285) Wife . I , I thanke your paines : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.286) Pur. And verily well kursend , $in $the {TEXT:i'the} right way , Without Idolatry or Superstition , After the pure manner of Amsterdam . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.287) Wife . Sit downe good Neigbbours , Nurse . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.288) Nurse At hand forsooth , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.289) Wife . Looke they haue all low stooles (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.290) Nurse They haue forsooth . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.291) 2 Goss. Bring the Child hither Nurse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.292) how say you now Gossip , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.293) $is $'t {TEXT:ist} not a chopping Girle , so like the Father ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,31.294) 3 Goss. As if it had beene spit out of his Mouth , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.296) Ey's , nos'd , and brow'd as like a Girle can be , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.297) Onely indeed it has the Mothers Mouth . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.298) 2 Goss. The Mothers Mouth vp and downe , vp and downe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.299) 3 Goss. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} a large Child , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.300) $she $'s {TEXT:she's} but a little Woman . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.301) Pur. No beleeue me , a verie spynie Creature , but all hart , Well metteld , like the faithfull to endure Her tribulation here , and rayse vp seed . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.302) 2 Goss. She had a sore labour on't I warrant you , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.303) you can tell Neighbour . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.304) 3 Goss. O she had great speed , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.305) We were afrayd once , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.306) But she made vs all haue ioyfull hearts againe , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.307) $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} a good Soule I faith , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.308) The Midwife found her a most cheerefull Daughter . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.309) Pur. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} the spirit , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.310) the Sisters are all like her , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.311) Enter Sir Walter with two Spoones and Plate and Allwit . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.312) 2 Goss. O here comes the chiefe Gossip Neighbours . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.313) S. Walt. The fatnesse of your wishes to you all Ladyes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.314) 3 Goss. O deer sweet gentleman , what fine words he has The fatnesse of our wishes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.315) 2 Goss. Calles vs all Ladyes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.316) 4 Goss. I promise you a fine Gentleman , and a courteous . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.317) 2 Goss. Me thinkes her Husband shewes like a Clowne to him . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.318) 3 Goss. I would not care what Clowne my Husband were too , so I had such fine Children . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.319) 2 Goss. $She $'s {TEXT:She's} all fine Children Gossip . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.320) 3 Goss. I , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.321) and see how fast they come . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.322) Pur. Children are blessings , if they be got with zeale , By the Brethren , as I haue fiue at home . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.323) S. Walt. The worst is past , I hope now Gossip . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.324) Wife So I hope to good Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,32.325) All. Why then so hope I too for company , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.327) I haue nothing to doe else . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.328) S. Walt. A poore remembrance Lady , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.329) To the loue of the Babe , I pray accept of it . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.330) Wife O you are at too much charge Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.331) 2 Goss. Looke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.332) looke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.333) what has he giuen her , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.334) what $is $'t {TEXT:ist} Gossip ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.335) 3 Goss. Now by my faith a faire high standing Cup , and two great Postle Spoones , one of them gilt . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.336) 1 Pur. Sure that was Iudas then with the red Beard . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.337) 2 Pur. I would not feed my daughter with that spoone for all the World , for feare of colouring her Heyre , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.338) Red Hayre the Brethren like not , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.339) it consumes them much , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.340) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} not the Sisters colour . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.341) Enter Nurse with Comfits and Wine . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.342) All. Well said Nurse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.343) About , about with them amongst the Gossips , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.344) Now out comes all the tasseld Handkerchers , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.345) They are spred abroad betweene their Knees already , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.346) Now in goes the long Fingers that are wash't Some thrice a day in Vrin , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.347) my Wife vses it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.348) Now we shall haue such pocketing , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.349) See how they lurch at the lower end . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.350) Pur. Come hither Nurse . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.351) All. Againe , she has taken twice already . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.352) Pur. I had forgot a Sisters Child $that $'s {TEXT:that's} sicke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.353) All. A Pox it seemes your purity loues sweet things well that puts in thrice together , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.354) had this beene all my cost now I had beene beggerd , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.355) these Women haue no consciences at sweet meats , where e're they come , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.356) see and they haue not culd out all the long Plumbes too , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.357) they haue left nothing here but short riggle-tayle-Comfits , not worth mouthing , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.358) no mar'le I heard a Citizen complaine once , that his Wiues Belly onely broke his Backe : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,33.359) Mine had beene all in sitters seuen yeeres since , but for this worthy Knight , that with a prop vpholds my Wife and me , and all my estate buried in Bucklers-berrie . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.360) Wife . Here M=ris= Yellowhammer , and Neighbours , To you all that haue taken paines with me , All the good Wiues at once . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.361) Pur. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} answer for them , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.362) They wish all health and strength , And that you may couragiously goe forward , To performe the like and many such , Like a true Sister with Motherly bearing . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.363) All. Now the cups trole about to wet the gossips whistles (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.364) It poures downe I faith , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.365) they neuer thinke of payment . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.366) Pur. Fill againe Nurse . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.367) All. Now blesse thee , two at once , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.368) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} stay no longer , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.369) It would kill me and if I pay'd for't , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.370) Will it please you to walke downe and leaue the women . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.371) S. Walt. With all my Heart Iacke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.372) All. Troth I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} blame you . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.373) S. Walt. Sit you all merry Ladyes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.374) All Goss. Thanke your Worship Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.375) Pur. Thanke your Worship Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.376) All. A Pox twice tipple ye , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.377) you are last & lowest . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.378) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.379) Pur. Bring hither that same Cup Nurse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.380) I would faine drive away this hup Antichristian griefe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.381) 3 Goss. See Gossip and she lyes not in like a Countesse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.382) Would I had such a Husband for my Daughter . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.383) 4 Goss. Is not she toward marriage ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.384) 3 Goss. Oh no sweet Gossip . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.385) 4 Goss. Why $she $'s {TEXT:she's} nineteene ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.386) 3 Goss. I that she was last Lammas , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.387) But she has a fault Gossip , a secret fault . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.388) 4 Goss. A Fault , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.389) what $is $'t {TEXT:ist} ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.390) 3 Goss. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} tell you when I haue drunke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.391) 4 Goss. Wine can doe that I see , that friendship $can $not {TEXT:cannot} . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.392) 3 Goss. And now $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} tell you Gossip , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.393) $she $'s {TEXT:she's} too free . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.394) 4 Goss. To free ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.395) 3 Goss. O I , she $can $not {TEXT:cannot} lye dry in her bed . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,34.396) 4 Goss. What , and nineteene ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.398) 3 Goss. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} as I tell you Gossip . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.399) Maudl. Speake with me Nurse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.400) who $is $'t {TEXT:ist} ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.401) Nurse A Gentleman from Cambridge , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.402) I thinke it be your Sonne forsooth . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.403) Maudl. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} my Sonne Tim I faith , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.404) $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prethe} call him vp among the Women , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.405) $'T $will {TEXT:'Twill} imbolden him well , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.406) For he wants nothing but audacitie , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.407) 'Would the Welch gentlewoman at home were here now . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.408) Lady Is your Sonne come forsooth ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.409) Maudl. Yes from the Vniuersitie forsooth . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.410) Lady $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} a great ioy on yee . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.411) Maudl. $There $'s {TEXT:There's} a great marriage towards for him . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.412) Lady A marriage ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.413) Maudl. Yes sure , a hughe Heire in Wales , At least to nineteene Mountaines , Besides her Goods and Cattell . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.414) Enter Tim . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.415) Tim. O , $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} betray'd . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.416) Exit . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.417) Maudl. What gone againe , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.418) run after him good Nurse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.419) $He $'s {TEXT:He's} so bashfull , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.420) $that $'s {TEXT:that's} the spoyle of youth , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.421) In the Vniuersitie $they $'re {TEXT:they're} kept still to Men , And ne're trayn'd vp to Womens company . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.422) Lady $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} a great spoyle of youth indeed . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.423) Enter Nurse and Tim . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.424) Nurse Your Mother will have it so . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.425) Maudl. Why Sonne , why Tim , What must I rise and fetch you ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.426) For shame Sonne . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.427) Tim. Mother you doe intreat like a fresh Woman , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.428) $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} against the Lawes of the Vniversitie , For any that has answered vnder Batchelor To thrust 'mongst married Wiues . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,35.429) Maudl. Come $we $'ll {TEXT:we'le} excuse you here . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.431) Tim Call vp my Tutor Mother , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.432) and I care not . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.433) Maudl. What is your Tutor come , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.434) haue you brought him vp ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.435) Tim. I ha' not brought him vp , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.436) he stands at dore , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.437) Negatur , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.438) $there $'s {TEXT:there's} Logicke to begin with you Mother . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.439) Maud. Run (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.440) call the gentleman nurse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.441) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} my sons tutor . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.442) Here eat some Plumbes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.443) Tim. Come I from Cambridge , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.444) and offer me six plumbs ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.445) Maudl. Why how now Tim , Will not your old trickes yet be left ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.446) Tim. Seru'd like a Child , When I haue answer'd vnder Batcheler ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.447) Maudl. $You $'ll {TEXT:You'le} neuer lin till I make your Tutor whip you , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.448) you know how I seru'd you once at the Free Schoole in Pauls Church-yeard ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.449) Tim. O monstrous absurditie , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.450) Ne're was the like in Cambridge since my time , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.451) 'Life whip a Batcheler , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.452) $you $'d {TEXT:yow'ld} be laught at soundly , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.453) Let not my Tutor heare you , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.454) $'T $would {TEXT:'Twould} be a Iest through the whole Vniuersitie , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.455) No more words Mother . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.456) Enter Tutor . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.457) Maudl. Is this your Tutor Tim ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.458) Tut. Yes surely Lady , I am the man that brought him in League with Logicke , and red the Dunces to him . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.459) Tim. That did he Mother , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.460) but now I haue 'em all in my owne Pate , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.461) and can as well read 'em to others . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.462) Tut. That can he Mistris , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.463) for they flow naturally from him . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.464) Maudl. $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} the more beholding to your paynes Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.465) Tut. Non ideo saue . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.466) Maudl. True , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.467) he was an Ideot indeed , When he went out of London , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.468) but now $he $'s {TEXT:he's} well mended , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.469) Did you receiue the two Goose-pies I sent you ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,36.470) Tut. And eat them hartely , thankes to your Worship . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.472) Maudl. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} my Sonne Tim , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.473) I pray bid him welcome Gentlewomen . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.474) Tim. Tim , harke you Timothius Mother , Timothius . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.475) Maudl. How , shall I deny your Name ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.476) Timothius quoth he ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.477) Faith $there $'s {TEXT:there's} a name , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.478) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} my Sonne Tim forsooth . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.479) Lady $You $'re {TEXT:You're} welcome M=r= Tim . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.480) Kisse (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.481) Tim. O this is horrible , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.482) she wets as she kisses , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.483) Your Handkercher sweet Tutor , to wipe them off , as fast as they come on . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.484) 2 Goss. Welcome from Cambridge . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.485) Kisse (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.486) Tim. This is intollerable , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.487) This woman has a villanous sweet breath , did she not stinke of Comfits , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.488) Helpe me sweet Tutor , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.489) or I shall rub my Lips off . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.490) Tut. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} goe kisse the lower end the whilst . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.491) Tim. Perhaps $that $'s {TEXT:that's} the sweeter , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.492) and we shall dispatch the sooner . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.493) Pur. Let me come next , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.494) Welcome from the Welspring of discipline , that waters all the Brethren . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.495) Reels & fals (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.496) Tim. Hoyst I beseech thee . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.497) 3 Goss. O blesse the Woman , M=r= Vnderman . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.498) Pur. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} but the common affliction of the faithfull , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.499) We must embrace our falles . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.500) Tim. $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} glad I scap't it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.501) it was some rotten kisse sure , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.502) It dropt downe before it came at me . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.503) Enter Allwis , and Dauy . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.504) All. $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} a noyse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.505) not parted yet ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.506) Hyda , a Looking-glasse , they haue drunke so hard in Plate , That some of them had need of other Vessels , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.507) $Yonder $'s {TEXT:Yonder's} the brauest Shew . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.508) All Goss. Where ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.509) Where Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.510) All. Come along presently by the Pissing-conduit , With two braue Drums and a Standert-bearer . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.511) All Goss. O Braue . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,37.512) Tim. Come Tutor . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.514) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.515) All Goss. Farwell sweet Gossip . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.516) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.517) Wife I thanke you all for your paynes . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.518) Pur. Feed (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.519) and grow strong . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.520) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.521) All. You had more need to sleepe then eat . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.522) Goe take a nap with some of the Brethren , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.523) goe , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.524) And rise vp a well edified , boldified Sister , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.525) O $here $'s {TEXT:here's} a day of toyle well past o're , Able to make a Citizen Hare mad , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.526) How hot they haue made the Roome with their thicke Bums . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.527) Do'st not feele it Dauy ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.528) Dau. Monstrous strong sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.529) All. $What $'s {TEXT:What's} here vnder the Stooles ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.530) Dau. Nothing but wet Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.531) some Wine spilt here belike . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.532) All. $Is $'t {TEXT:Ist} no worse think'st thou ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.533) Faire Needle worke Stooles , cost nothing with them Dauy (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.534) Dau. Nor you neither I faith . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.535) All. Looke how they haue layd them , Ee'ne as they lye themselues , with their Heeles vp , How they haue shufflled vp the Rushes too Dauy With their short figging little shittle-corke-heels , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.536) These Women can let nothing stand as they find it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.537) But $what $'s {TEXT:what's} the secret $thou $'st {TEXT:thou'st} about to tell me My honest Dauy ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.538) Dauy. If you should disclose it Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.539) All. Life rip my Belly vp to the Throat then Dauy . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.540) Dau. My $Master $'s {TEXT:Master's} vpon Marriage . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.541) All. Marriage Dauy , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.542) send me to hanging rather . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.543) Dau. I haue stong him . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.544) All. When , where , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.545) what is she Dauy ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.546) Dau. E'ne the same was Gossip , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.547) and gave the Spoone . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.548) All. I haue no time to stay , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.549) nor scarce can speake . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.550) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} stop those wheeles , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.551) or all the worke will breake . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.552) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.553) Dau. I knew $'t $would {TEXT:'twold} pricke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.554) Thus doe I fashion still All mine owne ends by him and his ranke toyle , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.555) $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} my desire to keepe him still from marriage , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,38.556) Being his poore neerest Kinsman , I may fare The better at his death , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.558) there my hopes build Since my Lady Kixe is dry , and hath no Child . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.559) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.560) Enter both the Tuchwoods . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.561) T. I. $Y' $are {TEXT:Y'are} in the happiest way to enrich your selfe , And pleasure me Brother , as Mans feet can tread in , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.562) For though she be lock't vp , her vow is fix't onely to me , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.563) Then time shall neuer grieue me , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.564) for by that vow , E'ne absent inioy her , assuredly confirm'd that none Else shall , which will make tedious yeeres seeme gamefull To me , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.565) In the meane space lose you no time sweet brother , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.566) You haue the meanes to strike at the Knights fortunes , And lay him leuell with his bankrout merit , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.567) Get but his Wife with Child , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.568) perch at treetop , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.569) And shake the golden fruit into her Lap , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.570) About it before she weepe her selfe to a dry ground , And whine out all her goodnesse . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.571) T. S. $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prethe} cease , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.572) I find a too much aptness in my blood For such a businesse without prouocation , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.573) You might 'well spar'd this banket of Oringoes , Hartechokes , Potatoes , and your butter'd Crabbe , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.574) They were fitter kept for your owne wedding dinner . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.575) T. I. Nay and $you $'ll {TEXT:you'le} follow my suit , & saue my purse too Fortune doats on me , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.576) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} in happy case Finds such an honest friend $in $the {TEXT:i'the} Common place . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.577) T. S. Life what makes thee so merry ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.578) thou hast no cause That I could heare of lately since thy crosses , Vnlesse there be newes come , with new additions . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.579) T. I. Why there thou hast it right , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.580) I looke for her this Euening Brother . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.581) T. S. $How $'s {TEXT:How's} that , looke for her ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.582) T. I. I will deliuer you of the wonder streight Brother ; (MIDDLET-E2-P1,39.583) By the firme secresie , and kind assistance Of a good Wench $in $the {TEXT:i'the} House , who made of pittie , Weighing the case her owne , $she $'s {TEXT:she's} lead through Gutters , Strange hidden wayes , which none but Loue could find , Or ha the Heart to venture , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.584) I expect her Where you would little thinke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.585) T. S. I care not where , so she be safe , and yours . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.586) T. I. Hope telles me so , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.587) But from your loue and time my peace must grow . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.588) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.589) T. S. You know the worst then brother , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.590) now home to my Kix The barren he and she , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.591) $they $'re {TEXT:they're} $in $the {TEXT:i'the} next Roome , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.592) But to say which of their two humours hold them Now at this instant , I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} say truly . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.593) S. Ol. Thou lyest Barrennesse . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.594) Kix to his Lady within . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.595) T. S. O $is $'t {TEXT:ist} that time of day , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.596) giue you ioy of your tongue (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.597) $There $'s {TEXT:There's} nothing else good in you , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.598) this their life The whole day from eyes open to eyes shut , Kissing or scolding , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.599) and then must be made friends , Then rayle the second part of the first fit out , And then be pleas'd againe , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.600) no Man knowes which way , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.601) Fall out like Giants , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.602) and fall in like Children , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.603) Their Fruit can witnesse as much . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.604) Enter Sir Oliuer Kix , and his Lady . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.605) S. Ol. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} thy fault . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.606) Lady . Mine , Drouth and coldnesse ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.607) S. Ol. Thine , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.608) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} thou art barren . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.609) Lady . I barren , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.610) o` life that I durst but speake now , In mine owne Iustice , in mine owne Right , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.611) I barren , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.612) $'T $was {TEXT:'Twas} otherwayes with me when I was at Court , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.613) I was ne're call'd so till I was married . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.614) S. Ol. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} be deuorc't . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.615) Lady . Be hang'd , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.616) I need not wish it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.617) That will come too soone to thee : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.618) I may say , Marriage and hanginge goes by destiny , For all the goodnesse I can find in't yet . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.619) S. Ol. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} giue vp House , & keepe some fruitfull whore , Like an old Batcheler in a Tradsmans Chamber , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.620) She and her Children shall haue all . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,40.621) Lady . Where be they ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.623) T. S. Pray cease , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.624) When there are friendlier courses tooke for you , To get and multiply within your House , At your owne proper costs in spight of censure , Me thinkes an honest peace might be establish't . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.625) S. Ol. What with her ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.626) Neuer . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.627) T. S. Sweet Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.628) S. Ol. You worke all in vaine . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.629) Lady . Then he doth all like thee . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.630) T. S. Let me intreat Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.631) S. Ol. Singlenesse confound her , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.632) I tooke her with one Smocke . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.633) Lady . But indeed you came not so single , When you came from Shipboard . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.634) S. Ol. Heart she bit sore there , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.635) $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prethe} $make $'s {TEXT:make's} friends . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.636) T. S. $Is $'t {TEXT:Ist} come to that , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.637) the peale begins to cease . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.638) S. Ol. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} sell all at an Out-cry . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.639) Lady Doe thy worst Slaue , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.640) Good sweet Sir bring vs into loue againe . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.641) T. S. Some would think this impossible to compasse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.642) Pray let this storme fly ouer . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.643) S. Ol. Good Sir pardon me , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.644) $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} Master of this House , Which $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} sell presently , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.645) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} clap vp Billes this Euening . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.646) T. S. Lady friends come ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.647) Lady If e're ye lou'd Woman , talke not on't Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.648) what friends with him ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.649) good Faith do you think $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} mad with one $that $'s {TEXT:that's} scarce the hinder quarter of a Man ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.650) S. Ol. Thou art nothing of a Woman . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.651) Lady Would I were lesse then nothing . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.652) Weepes (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.653) S. Ol. Nay $pray $thee {TEXT:prethe} what do'st meane ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.654) Lady I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} please you . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.655) S. Ol. I faith thou art a good Soule , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.656) he lyes that sayes it , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.657) Busse , busse , pretie Rogue . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.658) Lady You care not for me . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.659) T. S. Can any man tell now which way they came in ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,41.660) By this light $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} be hang'd then . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.662) S. Ol. Is the Drinke come ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.663) T. S. $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} a little Viall of Almond-milke Aside That stod me in some three pence . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.664) S. Ol. I hope to see thee wench within these few yeeres , Cirkled with Children , pranking vp a Girle , And putting Iewels in their little Eares , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.665) Fine sport I faith . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.666) Lady I had you beene ought Husband , It had beene done ere this time . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.667) S. Ol. Had I bin ought , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.668) hang thee , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.669) had'st thou bin ought , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.670) But a crosse thing I euer found thee . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.671) Lady Thou art a Grub to say so . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.672) S. Ol. A Pox on thee . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.673) T. S. By this light they are out againe at the same dore , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.674) And no Man can tell which way . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.675) Come $here $'s {TEXT:here's} your Drinke Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.676) S. Ol. I will not take it now Sir , And I were sure to get three Boyes ere Midnight . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.677) Lady Why there thou shew'st now of what breed thou com'st To hinder generation , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.678) O thou Villaine , That knowes how crookedly the World goes with vs , For want of Heires , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.679) yet put by all good fortune . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.680) S. Ol. Hang strumpet , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.681) I will take it now in spight . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.682) T. S. Then you must ride vpon't fiue houres . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.683) S. Ol. I meane so , Within there ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.684) Enter a Seruant . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.685) Seru. Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.686) S. Ol. Saddle the white Mare , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.687) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} take a Whore along , and ride to Ware . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.688) Lady Ride to the Diuel . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.689) S. Ol. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} plague you euery way , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.690) Looke ye , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.691) doe you see , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.692) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} gone . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.693) Drinkes (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.694) Lady A Pox goe with it . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.695) S. Ol. I curse (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.696) and spare it not now . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,42.697) T. S. Stirre vp and downe sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.699) you must not stand . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.700) S. Ol. Nay $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} not giuen to standing . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.701) T. S. So much the better sir for the --- (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.702) S. Ol. I neuer could stand long in one place yet , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.703) I learnt it of my Father , euer figient , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.704) How if I crost this Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.705) Capers (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.706) T. S. O passing good Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.707) and would shew well a Horsebake : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.708) When you come to your inne , if you leapt ouer a ioynt-stoole or two , $'t $were {TEXT:'twere} not amisse although you brake your necke Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.709) Aside S. Ol. What say you to a Table thus high Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.710) T. S. Nothing better Sir , if it be furnished with good Victuals . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.711) You remember how the bargaine runs about this businesse ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.712) S. Ol. Or else I had a bad Head : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.713) you must receiue Sir foure hundred pounds of me at foure seuerall payments : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.714) One hundred pound now in hand . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.715) T. S. Right , that I haue Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.716) S. Ol. Another hundred when my Wifes is quicke : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.717) the third when $she $'s {TEXT:she's} brought a bed : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.718) and the last hundred when the Child cryes , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.719) For if it should be still borne , it doth no good Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.720) T. S. All this is euen still , a little faster Sir . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.721) S. Ol. Not a whit Sir , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.722) $I $'me {TEXT:I'me} in an excellent pace for any Physicke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.723) Enter a Seruant . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.724) Seru. Your white $Mare $'s {TEXT:Mares} ready . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.725) S. Ol. I shall vp presently : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.726) One kisse , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.727) and Farewell . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.728) Lady Thou shalt haue two Loue . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.729) S. Ol. Expect me about three . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.730) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.731) Lady With all my Heart Sweet . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.732) T. S. By this light they haue forgot their anger since , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.733) And are as farre in againe as e're they were , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.734) Which way the Diuell came they , Haart I saw 'em not , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.735) Their wayes are beyond finding out . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.736) Come sweet Lady . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,43.737) Lady How must I take mine Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.739) T. S. Cleane contrarie , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.740) yours must be taken lying . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.741) Lady A Bed Sir ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.742) T. S. A Bed , or where you will for your owne ease , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.743) Your Coach will serue . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.744) Lady The Physicke must needs please . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.745) Exit (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.746) Actus Quartus . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.748) Enter Tim and Tutor . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,44.750) {COM:latin_omitted} Enter Maudline . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.753) Maudl. $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} nothing but disputing all the day long with 'em . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.754) Tut. Sic disputus stultus est homo fient tu & ego sum homo est animal rationale sicut stultus est animal rationale . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.755) Maudl. Your reasons are both good what e're they be (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.756) Pray giue them or'e , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.757) faith $you $'ll {TEXT:you'le} tire your selues , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.758) $What $'s {TEXT:What's} the matter betweene you ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.759) Tim. Nothing but reasoning about a Foole Mother . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.760) Maudl. About a Foole Son , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.761) alas what need you trouble your heads about that , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.762) none of vs all but knowes what a Foole is . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.763) Tim. Why $what $'s {TEXT:What's} a Foole Mother ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.764) I come to you now . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.765) Maudl. Why one $that $'s {TEXT:that's} married before he has wit . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.766) Tim. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} prettie I faith , and well guest of a Woman neuer brought vp at the Vniuersitie : (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.767) but bring forth what Foole you will Mother , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.768) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} proue him to be as reasonable a Creature , as my selfe or my Tutor here . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.769) Maudl. Fye $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} impossible . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.770) Tut. Nay he shall do it forsooth . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.771) Tim. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} the easiest thing to proue a Foole by Logicke , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.772) By Logicke $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} proue any thing . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.773) Maudl. What thou wilt not ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.774) Tim. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} proue a Whore to be an honest Woman . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.775) Maudl. Nay by my faith , she must proue that her selfe , (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.776) or Logicke will neuer $do $'t {TEXT:do't} . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.777) Tim. $'T $will {TEXT:'Twill} $do $'t {TEXT:do't} I tell you . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.778) Maudl. Some in this Street would giue a thousand pounds that you could proue their Wives so . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.779) Tim. Faith I can , and all their Daughters too , though they had three Bastards . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.780) When comes your Taylor hither ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.781) Maudl. Why (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.782) what of him ? (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.783) Tim. By Logicke $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} proue him to be a Man , Let him come when he will . (MIDDLET-E2-P1,45.784)