<P_24>

<heading>

<font> KING HENRY THE VIII AND A COBLER . </font> (PENNY-E3-P1,24.3)

CHAP. I . (PENNY-E3-P1,24.4)

HOW KING HENRY THE 8TH. USED TO VISIT THE WATCHES IN THE CITY , AND HOW
HE CAME ACQUAINTED WITH A MERRY AND A JOVIAL COBLER .
(PENNY-E3-P1,24.5)

</heading>

It was the Custome of King Henry the 8th. to Walk late in the Night
into the City Disguised , to take notice how the Constables and Watch
performed their Duty ; not onely in carefully Guarding the City Gates ,
but also in diligent Watching the inward parts of the said City , that
so they might prevent those Disturbances and Casualties which often
happens in great and Populous Cities in the Night . (PENNY-E3-P1,24.7)

This he did oftentimes , without the least discovery who he was ;
returning home to White-hall early in the Morning . (PENNY-E3-P1,24.8)

Now in his return home through the Strand , he took notice of a certain
Cobler , who was constantly up and at work , Whistling and Singing
every morning ; (PENNY-E3-P1,24.9)

he therefore resolved to see him , and be acquainted with him ; in
order to which he immediately knocks off the Heel of his Shooe , by
hitting it against the Stones : (PENNY-E3-P1,24.10)

having so done , he bounced at the Coblers Stall ; (PENNY-E3-P1,24.11)

$who $'s {TEXT:who's} there ? cries the Cobler . (PENNY-E3-P1,24.12)

Here is one , said the King . (PENNY-E3-P1,24.13)

With that the Cobler opened his Stall door , (PENNY-E3-P1,24.14)

and the King asked him , if he could set on his Heel again ?
(PENNY-E3-P1,24.15)

Yes that I can , says the Cobler . (PENNY-E3-P1,24.16)

Come in Honest Fellow , (PENNY-E3-P1,24.17)

and sit thee down by me , (PENNY-E3-P1,24.18)

and I will do it for you strait ; the Cobler scraping his Awls and Old
Shooes to one side , to make room for the King to sit by him .
(PENNY-E3-P1,24.19)

The King being hardly able to forbear Laughing at the kindness of the
Cobler , asked him if there was not a House hard by which sold a Cup of
Ale , where the People were up ? (PENNY-E3-P1,24.20)

Yea , <paren> said the Cobler </paren> there is an Inn over the way ,
where I believe the folk of the house are up ; (PENNY-E3-P1,24.21)

for the Carriers <P_25> go from thence very early in a Morning .
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.22)

With that the King borrowed an old Shooe of the Cobler ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.23)

and went over to the Inn , desiring the Cobler to bring his Shooe to
him thither , so soon as he had put the Heel on again ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.24)

the Cobler promised he would . (PENNY-E3-P1,25.25)

So making what haste he could to put the Heel on , he carried it over
to the King , saying ; Honest Blade , here is thy Shooe again ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.26)

$I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} warrant it will not come off in haste .
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.27)

Very well , said the King , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.28)

What must you have for your pains ? (PENNY-E3-P1,25.29)

A couple of Pence <paren> answered the Cobler . </paren>
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.30)

Well said the King , because thou art an honest merry Fellow , here is
a Tester for thee . (PENNY-E3-P1,25.31)

Come sit thee down by me , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.32)

I will drink to thee a whole Pot , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.33)

$here $'s {TEXT:here's} a good Health to the King : (PENNY-E3-P1,25.34)

with all my heart , said the Cobler , I will pledge thee were it Water
. (PENNY-E3-P1,25.35)

So the Cobler sat himself down by the King , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.36)

and was very merry , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.37)

and drank off his Liquor very freely . (PENNY-E3-P1,25.38)

He also Sung some of his Merry Songs and Catches , whereat the King
Laughed heartily , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.39)

and was very Pleasant and jocund with the Cobler ; telling him withal ,
that his Name was Harry Tudor , and that he belonged to the Court , and
if he would come and see him there , he would make him very welcome ,
because he was such pleasant merry Company , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.40)

and charged him to be there , and not to forget his Name , but to ask
any one for him about the Court , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.41)

and they will bring you to him : (PENNY-E3-P1,25.42)

For <paren> said the King </paren> I am very well known at the Court .
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.43)

Now the Cobler little dream'd that it was the King which spoke to him ,
much less that the Kings Name was Harry Tudor : (PENNY-E3-P1,25.44)

Therefore with a great deal of confidence , he stands up
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.45)

and pulls off his Hat , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.46)

and makes two or three fine scrapes with his Leg , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.47)

gives the King many thanks , withal telling him , that he was one of
the honestest Fellows he ever met withal in his Life-time . And <paren>
though he had never been at Court </paren> yet it should not be long
before he would make a Holiday to come and see him .
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.48)

Hereupon the King discharging the House for what he had drank , would
have taken his leave of the Cobler : (PENNY-E3-P1,25.49)

But the Cobler taking him by the hand , said ; By my faith , you must
not go yet , (PENNY-E3-P1,25.50)

you shall first go and see my poor Habitation ; (PENNY-E3-P1,25.51)

I have there a Tub of good Nappy Ale was never Tapt yet ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,25.52)

you must needs go and taste of it ; (PENNY-E3-P1,25.53)

for you are the honestest Merriest <P_26> Blade that I ever met withal
, (PENNY-E3-P1,26.54)

and I love an honest merry Companion with all my heart ....
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.55)

<heading>

CHAP. IV . (PENNY-E3-P1,26.57)

THE COBLERS RECEPTION AT COURT , WITH THE MANNER OF HIS BEHAVIOUR
BEFORE THE KING . (PENNY-E3-P1,26.58)

</heading>

The Cobler being thus set forth , strutted through the Streets like a
Crow in a Gutter , thinking himself as fine as the best of them all .
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.60)

In this manner he came to Court , staring on this body , and that body
, as he walkt up and down , and not knowing who to ask for Harry Tudor
, (PENNY-E3-P1,26.61)

at last he espyed one as he thought , in the Habit of a Serving-man ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.62)

to him he makes his Address , saying , Dost thou hear honest Fellow ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.63)

do you know one Harry Tudor , which belongs to the Court ?
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.64)

Yes , said the Man , follow me (PENNY-E3-P1,26.65)

and I will bring you to him : (PENNY-E3-P1,26.66)

with that he had him presently up into the Guard-Chamber , telling one
of the Yeoman {COM:sic} of the Guard , there was one that enquired for
Harry Tudor . (PENNY-E3-P1,26.67)

Replyed the Yeoman , I know him very well , (PENNY-E3-P1,26.68)

if you will please to go along with me , I will bring you to him
immediately . (PENNY-E3-P1,26.69)

So the Cobler followed the Yeoman , (PENNY-E3-P1,26.70)

much admiring the Finery of the Rooms he went through , he thought
within himself , that the Yeoman was mistaken in the person whom he
enquired after : (PENNY-E3-P1,26.71)

he therefore pulled him back by the Coat , (PENNY-E3-P1,26.72)

and told him , that he did believe he was mistaken in the Person whom
he enquired after . (PENNY-E3-P1,26.73)

For <paren> said he </paren> him who I look for , is a plain merry
honest Fellow , (PENNY-E3-P1,26.74)

his Name is Harry Tudor : (PENNY-E3-P1,26.75)

We drank two Pots together not long since , (PENNY-E3-P1,26.76)

I suppose he may belong to some Lord or other about the Court .
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.77)

I tell you Friend , replyed the Yeoman , I know him very well ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.78)

do but follow me , (PENNY-E3-P1,26.79)

and I shall bring you to him strait . (PENNY-E3-P1,26.80)

So going forward , he came at last to the Room where the King was ,
accompanied with several of his Nobles who attended him .
(PENNY-E3-P1,26.81)

As soon as the Yeoman had put by the Arras , he spoke aloud , saying ;
May it please your Majesty , here is one that enquires for <P_27> Harry
Tudor . (PENNY-E3-P1,27.82)

The Cobler hearing this , thought he had committed no less than Treason
, (PENNY-E3-P1,27.83)

therefore he up with his Heels (PENNY-E3-P1,27.84)

and run for it . (PENNY-E3-P1,27.85)

But not being acquainted with the several turnings and Rooms through
which he came , he was soon overtaken , and brought before the King ,
whom the Cobler little thought to be the Person he enquired after :
(PENNY-E3-P1,27.86)

Therefore in a trembling condition , he fell down upon his knees ,
saying ; May it please your Grace , may it Please your Highness , I am
a poor Cobler ; (PENNY-E3-P1,27.87)

and enquired for one Harry Tudor , who is a very honest Fellow ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,27.88)

I mended the Heel of his Shooe not long since , for which he paid me
nobly , and gave me two or three Pots to boot : (PENNY-E3-P1,27.89)

And I had him over afterwards to my Celler , where we drank part of a
Tub of nappy Ale , (PENNY-E3-P1,27.90)

and was very Merry , until my Wife Joan began to Grumble , which put an
end to our Merriment for that time . (PENNY-E3-P1,27.91)

But I told him , I would come to the Court and see him as soon as
conveniently I could . (PENNY-E3-P1,27.92)

Well , said the King , be not troubled ; (PENNY-E3-P1,27.93)

do you know this honest Fellow again if you see him ?
(PENNY-E3-P1,27.94)

Yea , that I do from a thousand <paren> replyed the Cobler . </paren>
(PENNY-E3-P1,27.95)

Then said the King , stand up (PENNY-E3-P1,27.96)

and be not afraid , (PENNY-E3-P1,27.97)

but look well about you , (PENNY-E3-P1,27.98)

peradventure you may find this honest Fellow amongst this Company .
Whereupon the Cobler arose and looked wishfully upon the King , and the
rest of his Nobles , but to little or no purpose . (PENNY-E3-P1,27.99)

For though he saw something in the Kings face which he thought he had
seen before , yet he could not imagine him to be Harry Tudor ...
(PENNY-E3-P1,27.100)

<heading>

CHAP. V . (PENNY-E3-P1,27.102)

THE COBLERS ENTERTAINMENT IN THE KING'S CELLER ; AND HOW HE MET WITH
HIS NEW FRIEND HARRY TUDOR , AND HOW HE COME TO KNOW HIM TO BE THE KING
. (PENNY-E3-P1,27.103)

</heading>

The Cobler had not been long in the King's Celler , before the King
came to him in the same Habit which he had on when the Cobler mended
his Shooe ; whereupon the Cobler knew him , (PENNY-E3-P1,27.105)

and run (PENNY-E3-P1,27.106)

and embraced him , saying , Honest Harry , I have made a <P_28> Holiday
on purpose to come and see you ; (PENNY-E3-P1,28.107)

but I had much ado to get leave of my wife Joan , who was loath I
should loose so much time from my work ; (PENNY-E3-P1,28.108)

but I was resolved to see you , (PENNY-E3-P1,28.109)

I therefor made my self as fine as I could . (PENNY-E3-P1,28.110)

But <paren> $i $'ll {TEXT:i'le} tell you Harry </paren> when I came to
the Court I was in a peck of troubles how to find you out ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,28.111)

but at last I met with a man who told me he knew you very well and that
he would bring me to you ; (PENNY-E3-P1,28.112)

but instead of doing so , he brought me before the King , which had
almost frightned me out of my seven senses . (PENNY-E3-P1,28.113)

But in good faith <paren> added the Cobler </paren> I am resolved to be
merry with you , since I have the good fortune to meet with you at last
. (PENNY-E3-P1,28.114)

I that you shall , replyed the King , (PENNY-E3-P1,28.115)

we will be as merry as Princes . (PENNY-E3-P1,28.116)

With that he call'd for a large Glass of Wine , (PENNY-E3-P1,28.117)

and drank to the Cobler the King's good Health . (PENNY-E3-P1,28.118)

God-a-mercy , said the Cobler , honest Harry , I will pledge thee with
all my heart . (PENNY-E3-P1,28.119)

Now after the Cobler had drank about four or five good Healths , he
began to be merry , (PENNY-E3-P1,28.120)

and fell a singing his old Songs and Catches , which pleased the King
very much , and made him laugh heartily . (PENNY-E3-P1,28.121)

When of a sudden several of the Nobles came into the Celler ,
extraordinary rich in apparel , who all stood bare to Harry Tudor ,
which put the Cobler into a great amazement at first ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,28.122)

but recovering himself , he lookt more wishfully upon Harry Tudor :
(PENNY-E3-P1,28.123)

when presently he knew him to be the King , which he saw in the
Presence Chamber , tho' in other Habit , he immediately fell down upon
his knees , saying ; May it please your Grace , may it please your
Highness , I am honest poor Cobler , (PENNY-E3-P1,28.124)

and mean no harm : (PENNY-E3-P1,28.125)

No , no , said the King , (PENNY-E3-P1,28.126)

nor shall receive none here .... (PENNY-E3-P1,28.127)

<P_29>

{COM:illustration_omitted}

<P_30>

<heading>

HENRY VIII & THE ABBOT OF READING . (PENNY-E3-P1,30.132)

CHAP. I . (PENNY-E3-P1,30.133)

HOW KING HENRY THE EIGHTH RODE A HUNTING IN WINDSOR FORREST , AND HOW
HE LOST HIS COMPANY , AND DINED WITH THE ABBOT OF READING .
(PENNY-E3-P1,30.134)

</heading>

The Table being spread with variety of dishes , the King sat down to
his Meat , Eating very heartily of a Loin of Beef , commonly called a
Sir-Loin of Beef ; insomuch that the Abbot took great notice of him ,
to see how he laid about him , (PENNY-E3-P1,30.136)

first cutting a good Sizeable piece , then calling for a Glass of his
Clarret drank it off , (PENNY-E3-P1,30.137)

and then fell to his Beef a fresh continuing eating until he had made a
prety handsome hole in the Sirloyn of Beef ; (PENNY-E3-P1,30.138)

said the Abbot , much good may it do you Sir , (PENNY-E3-P1,30.139)

I perceive you have a good Stomach to your meat , (PENNY-E3-P1,30.140)

I would give a hundred pounds with all my heart , I had so good a
stomach as you have ; (PENNY-E3-P1,30.141)

you see of all this variety of Meats here is , I can hardly eat any
thing , (PENNY-E3-P1,30.142)

a pestle of a Lark is as much as I have eaten .... (PENNY-E3-P1,30.143)

<heading>

CHAP. II . (PENNY-E3-P1,30.145)

HOW THE KING SENT A MESSENGER FOR THE LORD ABBOT , AND SENT THE ABBOT
PRISONER TO THE TOWER . (PENNY-E3-P1,30.146)

CHAP. III . (PENNY-E3-P1,30.147)

HOW THE LIEUTENANT OF THE TOWER WENT TO THE KING IN BEHALF OF THE ABBOT
. (PENNY-E3-P1,30.148)

</heading>

<P_31>

<heading>

CHAP. IV . (PENNY-E3-P1,31.152)

HOW THE ABBOT DINED IN THE TOWER , AND HOW THE KING DEMANDED HIS
HUNDRED POUND , FOR BRINGING THE ABBOT TO HIS STOMACH .
(PENNY-E3-P1,31.153)

</heading>

Now when the Lieutenant of the Tower came to the King , he told him how
hungry the Abbot was , and that he was ready to eat his own Flesh :
(PENNY-E3-P1,31.155)

Well , said the King , to morrow let him have a Loyn of Beef to Dinner
, (PENNY-E3-P1,31.156)

and let him have a Bottle or two of Clarret , (PENNY-E3-P1,31.157)

but be you not known that you have Orders from me , but that you do it
upon your own account , (PENNY-E3-P1,31.158)

and let there be a Hole made out of the Abbots Room that I may come
privately and see him eat ; (PENNY-E3-P1,31.159)

The Lieutenant told the King that all things should be done according
to his Order . (PENNY-E3-P1,31.160)

He therefore went home again to the Tower (PENNY-E3-P1,31.161)

and told the Abbot that the King was much enraged against him ,
insomuch that he could not prevail with him in the least to have any
other Diet but Bread and Water ; but that he so much pittyed him , and
was troubled at his Condition , that he would venture his Place and
Life to serve him : and that to morrow he should have a Dinner , and he
would come and Dine with him himself ; (PENNY-E3-P1,31.162)

the Abbott was not a little pleased with this News , telling him he
would not be Ungrateful to him for this great kindness , if ever he
came for to have his Liberty ; (PENNY-E3-P1,31.163)

Now the Abbot was so overjoyed with the hopes of a Dinner the next Day
, that he Slept Quieter that Night then he had done ever since he came
into the Tower ; (PENNY-E3-P1,31.164)

the next day about twelve a Clock , the King came privately to the
Tower , where he was conveyed secretly into a room adjoyning to the
Lord Abbots , and a hole made so cunningly that he might see the Lord
Abbot and he not see him again ; (PENNY-E3-P1,31.165)

it was not long before the Cloath was laid , (PENNY-E3-P1,31.166)

and a proper tall Fellow brought in a lusty Loyn of Beef , and another
two or three Bottles of Clarret , at which sight the Lord Abbot could
forbear laughing : (PENNY-E3-P1,31.167)

Then came in the Lieutenant of the Tower , saying you see my Lord , I
venture my Life to come and Dine with you , (PENNY-E3-P1,31.168)

but no more <P_32> words of that ; (PENNY-E3-P1,32.169)

but let us fall to as fast as we can , and be merry ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,32.170)

so after the Abbot had said a short Grace he fell aboard on the Beef ,
cutting a swinging piece which he soon devoured (PENNY-E3-P1,32.171)

then he calls for a Glass of Clarret , (PENNY-E3-P1,32.172)

drinks it off , (PENNY-E3-P1,32.173)

and then falls to his Beef again , insomuch that the King had much ado
to forbear Laughing , to see how the Abbot had laid about him , seeing
plainly the Abbot had gotten as good a stomach as he had ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,32.174)

now when the Abbot had pretty well Dined , the King sent one of his
Servants into the Room , saying aloud , the King : at which news the
Lieutenant fell on his knees , and the Abbot was like to have fallen
into a sound , (PENNY-E3-P1,32.175)

but the King entring the Room , said , my Lord , be not dismayed ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,32.176)

I come but to demand the Hundred Pound you owe me ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,32.177)

pay me that , (PENNY-E3-P1,32.178)

and you shall have your Liberty when you will .... (PENNY-E3-P1,32.179)

<P_33>

<heading>

THE PLEASANT HISTORY OF THOMAS HIC-KA-THRIFT . (PENNY-E3-P1,33.182)

HIS BIRTH AND PARENTAGE , AND THE TRUE MANNER OF HIS PERFORMING MANY
MANY ACTS , AND HOW HE KILLED A GYANT . (PENNY-E3-P1,33.183)

</heading>

Young man , here thou mayest behold what Honour Tom came unto .
(PENNY-E3-P1,33.185)

{COM:verse_omitted}

In the Reign before William the Conqueror , I have read in ancient
Histories , that there dwelt a Man in the Marsh of the Isle of Ely , in
the County of Cambridge whose Name was Thomas Hic-ka-thrift , a poor
Man , and day labourer , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.187)

yet he was a very stout Man , and able to perform two days works
instead of one , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.188)

he having one Son , and no more Children in the world , he called him
by his own Name Thomas Hickathrift ; (PENNY-E3-P1,33.189)

this old Man put his Son to good Learning , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.190)

but he would take none , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.191)

for he was , as we call them now in this Age , none of the wisest sort
, but something soft , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.192)

and had no docity at all in him : (PENNY-E3-P1,33.193)

God calling this Old Man his Father out of the world , his Mother being
tender of him , and maintained him by her hand labour as well as she
could : he being sloathful and not willing to work to get a penny for
his living , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.194)

but all his delight was to be in the Chimney corner ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,33.195)

and would eat as much at one time as might very well serve four or five
ordinary men , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.196)

for he was in length when he was but Ten years of age , about eight
foot , and in Thickness five foot , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.197)

and his Hand was like unto a shoulder of Mutton , (PENNY-E3-P1,33.198)

and in all parts from top to toe , he was like a Monster
(PENNY-E3-P1,33.199)

and yet his great Strength was not known . (PENNY-E3-P1,33.200)

<P_34>

<heading>

HOW TOM HIC-KA-THRIFT'S STRENGTH CAME TO BE KNOWN ; THE WHICH IF YOU
PLEASE BUT TO READ , WILL GIVE YOU FULL SATISFACTION .
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.203)

</heading>

The first time that his Strength was known , was by his Mothers going
to a Rich Farmers House , <paren> she being but a poor Woman </paren>
to desire a Bottle of Straw to shift her self and her Son Thomas :
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.205)

the Farmer being an honest Charitable Man , bid her take what she would
: (PENNY-E3-P1,34.206)

she going home to her Son Tom , said , I pray thee $go {TEXT:to} to
such a place (PENNY-E3-P1,34.207)

and fetch me a Bottle of Straw , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.208)

I have asked him leave : (PENNY-E3-P1,34.209)

he swore a great Oath he would not go ; (PENNY-E3-P1,34.210)

nay , $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} Tom go , said his old Mother ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.211)

he swore again he would not go , unless she would borrow him a
Cart-rope , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.212)

she being willing to please him , because she would have some Straw ,
went (PENNY-E3-P1,34.213)

and borrowed him a Cart-rope to his desire , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.214)

he taking went his way ; so coming to the Farmers House ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.215)

the Master was in the Barn , and two men a Thrashing :
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.216)

said Tom , I am come for a Bottle of Straw : (PENNY-E3-P1,34.217)

Tom , said the Master , take as much as thou canst carry ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.218)

he laid down his Cart-rope , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.219)

and began to make his Bottle ; (PENNY-E3-P1,34.220)

but , said they , Tom , thy rope is too short , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.221)

and jeer'd poor Tom , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.222)

but he fitted the man well for it , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.223)

for he made his bottle , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.224)

and when he had made it , there was supposed to be a Load of Straw in
it of two thousand weight ; (PENNY-E3-P1,34.225)

but , said they , what a great fool art thou ? (PENNY-E3-P1,34.226)

thou canst not carry the Tith on't ; (PENNY-E3-P1,34.227)

but Tom took the Bottle (PENNY-E3-P1,34.228)

and flung it on his shoulder , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.229)

and made no more of it then we do of an hundred weight , to the great
admiration of Master and Men . (PENNY-E3-P1,34.230)

Tom Hic-ka-thrift's strength being known in the Town , then they would
not let him any longer lye basking by the fire in the Chimney-corner ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.231)

every one would be hiring him to work , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.232)

they seeing him to have so much strength , told him that it was a shame
for him to live such a lazy course of life , and to lye idle day after
day as he did . (PENNY-E3-P1,34.233)

So Tom seeing them bait at him in such a manner as they did , he went
first to one work , then to another , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.234)

but at length came a Man to Tom , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.235)

and desired him to go with him unto the Wood , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.236)

for he had a Tree to bring home , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.237)

and he would content him . (PENNY-E3-P1,34.238)

So Tom went with him , (PENNY-E3-P1,34.239)

and he took with him four Men beside ; (PENNY-E3-P1,34.240)

but when they came to the Wood , they set the Cart by the Tree
(PENNY-E3-P1,34.241)

and began <P_35> to draw it up with Pullies , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.242)

but Tom seeing them not able to lift it up , said Stand away you Fools
, (PENNY-E3-P1,35.243)

and takes the Tree (PENNY-E3-P1,35.244)

and sets it on one end , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.245)

and lays it in the Cart , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.246)

now says he , see what a Man can do ; (PENNY-E3-P1,35.247)

Marry , it is true , said they : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.248)

so when they had done , coming through the Wood they met the Woodman ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.249)

Tom asked him for a stick to make his Mother a fire with ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.250)

I , said the Woodman , take one what thou canst carry :
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.251)

so Tom espyed a Tree bigger then was in the Cart , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.252)

and lays it on his Shoulder , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.253)

and goes home with it as fast as the Cart went and six Horses could
draw it : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.254)

This was the second time that Toms Strength was known :
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.255)

so when Tom began to know that he had more strength then twenty Men had
, he then began to be Merry with Men , and very tractable ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.256)

and would Run , or Go , or Jump ; (PENNY-E3-P1,35.257)

and took great delight to be amongst Company , and to go to Fairs and
Meetings , and to see Sports and Pastime : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.258)

So going to a Feast , the Young Men were all met , some to Cudgels ,
some to Wrastling , some throwing the Hammer , and the like ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.259)

So Tom stood a little to see their Sport , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.260)

and at last goes to them that were a throwing the Hammer ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.261)

and standing a little by to behold their Man-like Sport , at last he
takes the Hammer in his hand , to feel the weight of it ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.262)

and bid them stand out of the way , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.263)

for he would throw it as far as he could : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.264)

I , said the Smith , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.265)

and jeer'd poor Tom , $you $'ll {TEXT:you'l} throw it a great way $i
$'ll {TEXT:i'le} warrant you : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.266)

but Tom took the Hammer (PENNY-E3-P1,35.267)

and flung it , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.268)

and there was a River about five or six furlungs off ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.269)

and flung it into that : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.270)

so when he had done he bid the Smith go fetch his Hammer again ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.271)

and laught the Smith to scorn ; (PENNY-E3-P1,35.272)

but when Tom had done that , he would go to Wrastling , though he had
no more skill than an Ass had , but what he did by Strength ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.273)

yet he flung all that came , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.274)

for if once he laid hold they were gone : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.275)

some he would throw over his head , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.276)

some he would lay down slyly and how he pleased : (PENNY-E3-P1,35.277)

he would not lock nor strike at their Heels , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.278)

but flung them two or three Yards from him , ready to break their Necks
asunder : so that none at last durst go into the Ring to wrastle with
him , (PENNY-E3-P1,35.279)

for they took him to be some Devil that was come amongst them ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,35.280)

so Tom's fame was spread more in the Country .... (PENNY-E3-P1,35.281)

<P_50>

<heading>

LONG MEG . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.284)

THE LIFE AND PRANKS OF LONG MEG OF WESTMINSTER (PENNY-E3-P1,50.285)

CHAP. I . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.286)

CONTAINING WHERE SHE WAS BORN , HOW SHE CAME TO LONDON , AND HOW SHE
BEAT THE CARRYER . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.287)

</heading>

In the time of Henry the Eight , there was born in Lancashire a Maid
<paren> for her excess in height </paren> called Long Meg ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,50.289)

at 18 years of age she would needs come to London , to get a Service .
(PENNY-E3-P1,50.290)

Father Willis the Carrier being her Neighbour , was the Man she made
choice of to bring her up , being accompanied with three or four Lasses
more . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.291)

After a long travel , being come at last within the sight of the much
desired City , she observed her fellow Travellers to wax sad ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,50.292)

she demanded the cause of their heaviness ? (PENNY-E3-P1,50.293)

one of them made answer , because the Carryer being a hard Man ,
demanded more Money then they had in their Purses , for leting them
ride a little on his Pack-Saddle . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.294)

Meg replyed , If that be all , fear not , (PENNY-E3-P1,50.295)

I will either speak him fair , or fall upon him so fouly , that I will
deal well enough with him for that . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.296)

This put them in some comfort , (PENNY-E3-P1,50.297)

and as they were in this discourse , entring into Saint-John-Street
from Islington , Father Willis came to them , (PENNY-E3-P1,50.298)

and demanded Money for Riding . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.299)

What will you have , quoth Meg ? (PENNY-E3-P1,50.300)

Marry , said he , ten shillings a piece . (PENNY-E3-P1,50.301)

What , quoth she , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} more Money than we have in our
purses , (PENNY-E3-P1,50.302)

you are a merry Man indeed ; (PENNY-E3-P1,50.303)

we will give you a Gallon of Wine , (PENNY-E3-P1,50.304)

and make you amends hereafter when we are more able ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,50.305)

in the mean time , as the earnest of it , you shall have of every one
of us a Kiss . At which the Carrier stormed , and Meg smiled , which so
incensed <P_51> him , that he swore if they would not pay him , he
would cudgel ten Shillings out of their bones . (PENNY-E3-P1,51.306)

Marry content , quoth Meg , (PENNY-E3-P1,51.307)

and taking a staff into her hand , she did so belabour him and his Man
that he desired her for Gods sake to hold her hands :
(PENNY-E3-P1,51.308)

Not I , quoth she , unless you first bestow an Angel on each of us for
a handsel our good luck , and swear e're you depart London , to place
us all three with Mistrisses . (PENNY-E3-P1,51.309)

The Carrier having felt the weight of her Arm thought it better to give
three Angels , then to receive so many blows as she should bestow on
him , (PENNY-E3-P1,51.310)

and therefore not only gave them the Money but swore not to remove from
London till he had seen them all three plac'd . (PENNY-E3-P1,51.311)

<heading>

CHAP. VI . (PENNY-E3-P1,51.313)

CONTAINING A MERRY JEST , HOW SHE MET WITH A NOBLEMAN , AND HOW SHE
USED BOTH HIM AND THE WATCH . (PENNY-E3-P1,51.314)

</heading>

It chanced one Evening , that Meg in a frolick humour did put on a Suit
of Mans Apparel , (PENNY-E3-P1,51.316)

and with her Sword and Buckler walked the Streets ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,51.317)

the same night it fell out , that a young Nobleman being disposed to be
merry , would needs go abroad with his Man to see Fashions ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,51.318)

and coming down the Strand , he espyed Meg , (PENNY-E3-P1,51.319)

and seeing such a tall Fellow swinging up and down , thought to have a
cast at him ; (PENNY-E3-P1,51.320)

and coming to him , How now Fellow <paren> quoth he </paren> whither
walkest thou ? (PENNY-E3-P1,51.321)

Marry <paren> quoth Meg </paren> to Saint Nicholas Shambles to buy
Calves Heads . (PENNY-E3-P1,51.322)

How much Money <paren> quoth the Nobleman </paren> hast thou in thy
purse ? (PENNY-E3-P1,51.323)

In Faith <paren> quoth Meg </paren> little enough ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,51.324)

wilt lend me any ? (PENNY-E3-P1,51.325)

I marry <paren> quoth the Nobleman </paren> (PENNY-E3-P1,51.326)

and putting his Thumb to Megs mouth , said , $there $'s {TEXT:there's}
a Tester . Whereupon Meg up with her fist , and took him a good Box on
the Ear and said , There <paren> Sir Knave </paren> $there $'s
{TEXT:there's} a Groat again , (PENNY-E3-P1,51.327)

and now I owe you but two pence : whereupon the Noble <P_52> drew , and
his Man too . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.328)

And Meg was as active as they , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.329)

and together they go , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.330)

but Meg drave them before her , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.331)

and Housed them in a Chandlers shop , insomuch that the Constable came
in to part the fray , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.332)

and having asked what they were the Nobleman told his name , whereat
they all put off their Caps . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.333)

And what is your name quoth the Constable to Meg ? (PENNY-E3-P1,52.334)

Mine , quoth she , is Cutbeart Curry Knave ; (PENNY-E3-P1,52.335)

Upon this the Constable commanded to lay hold on her and carry her to
the Counter . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.336)

Meg out with her Sword , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.337)

and did set upon the Watch , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.338)

and behaved her self very resolutely : (PENNY-E3-P1,52.339)

but the Constable called for Clubs , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.340)

and then Meg was fain to cry out , Masters , hold your hands ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,52.341)

I am Long Meg of Westminster . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.342)

With that they all stayed , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.343)

and the Nobleman would needs have her , the Constable , and all the
rest , to the Tavern , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.344)

and concluded the Fray in a Cup of Wine . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.345)

<heading>

CHAP. XII (PENNY-E3-P1,52.347)

CONTAINING A PLEASANT JEST , HOW SHE USED THE ANGRY MILLER OF EPPING ,
IN ESSEX . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.348)

</heading>

Meg going on foot one day with Sundry of her Neighbours , it being a
great frost , & none with them but a young stripling of fourteen years
of age , it chanced that they went by Epping Mill , where the Miller
looked out (PENNY-E3-P1,52.350)

<paren> for the wind blew fair , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.351)

and the Sails went merrily </paren> (PENNY-E3-P1,52.352)

the little Boy , that was a Wag , thought to have been merry with the
Miller , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.353)

and therefore called to him , put out , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.354)

put out Miller , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.355)

put out : (PENNY-E3-P1,52.356)

What shall I put out Boy , quoth the Miller ? (PENNY-E3-P1,52.357)

Marry , quoth the Boy , a Thieves head , and Thieves pair of ears ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,52.358)

put out Miller , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.359)

put out . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.360)

At this the Miller in a great rage , came down (PENNY-E3-P1,52.361)

and beat the Boy . (PENNY-E3-P1,52.362)

Meg stepped to him , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.363)

and would have staid his hand , (PENNY-E3-P1,52.364)

and the Miller lent her three or four good bangs over the Shoulders ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,52.365)

Meg <P_53> felt it smart , (PENNY-E3-P1,53.366)

and getting in within the Miller , did wring the stick out of his hands
, with which she cudgell'd him to some tune ; (PENNY-E3-P1,53.367)

and when she had done , she sent the Boy up the Millers stairs for an
empty Sack , (PENNY-E3-P1,53.368)

and put the Miller in it , all but the Head , (PENNY-E3-P1,53.369)

and fastning him to the Rope , wherewith he pulled up the Sacks , she
haled him half way , (PENNY-E3-P1,53.370)

and there let him hang . (PENNY-E3-P1,53.371)

The poor Miller cryed out for help , (PENNY-E3-P1,53.372)

and if by Fortune his Wife had not been coming , he had been almost
killed ; and the Mill <paren> for want of Corn </paren> set on Fire .
(PENNY-E3-P1,53.373)

Thus Meg plagued the saucy Miller of Epping . (PENNY-E3-P1,53.374)

<P_78>

<heading>

MOTHER SHIPTON . (PENNY-E3-P1,78.377)

CHAP. I . (PENNY-E3-P1,78.378)

OF MOTHER SHIPTONS STRANGE PARENTAGE , AND THE PLACE OF HER BIRTH .
(PENNY-E3-P1,78.379)

</heading>

Mother Shipton <paren> as all Histories agree </paren> was a Yorkshire
woman ; (PENNY-E3-P1,78.381)

but the particular place is very much disputed , because several Towns
have pretended to the honour of her Birth ; (PENNY-E3-P1,78.382)

But the most credible and received opinion ascribes it to Nascborough ,
near the dropping Well , in the County aforesaid : (PENNY-E3-P1,78.383)

concerning her Pedigree or Parentage there is likewise very various
Report . (PENNY-E3-P1,78.384)

Some say , that her Father was a Necromancer and that skill in the
Black Art thereby became intail'd upon her by inheritance ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,78.385)

but the common Story <paren> which therefore I shall follow , yet
without forcing the Reader to believe it whether he will or no </paren>
is , That she never had any Father of humane Race , or mortal wight ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,78.386)

but was begot <paren> as the great Welsh Prophet Merlin was of old
</paren> by the Phantasm of Apollo , or some wanton Airial Daemon , in
the manner following . (PENNY-E3-P1,78.387)

Her Mother <paren> whom some Records call Agatha , and others Emmatha
</paren> being left an Orphan about the age of sixteen , very poor ,
and much troubled with that grievous , but common disease , called by
some Idleness , and by others Sloth ; as she was once upon a time
sitting , bemoning her self on a shady bank by the Highway side , this
spirit appear'd to her in the shape of a very handsom young man ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,78.388)

& smiling on her , Pretty maid , quoth he , (PENNY-E3-P1,78.389)

why dost thou sit so sad ? (PENNY-E3-P1,78.390)

Thou art not old enough to have thy Head pestered with the cares of the
World ; (PENNY-E3-P1,78.391)

$pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} tell me the business , (PENNY-E3-P1,78.392)

and doubt not but I will help thee out of all thy troubles .
(PENNY-E3-P1,78.393)

The Maid <paren> for Maids there were in those days at her age </paren>
casting up her eyes , and not suspecting a devil in so comely a
countenance , related to him her wants , and that she knew not <P_79>
how to live ; (PENNY-E3-P1,79.394)

pish ! said he , $that $'s {TEXT:that's} nothing , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.395)

but be ruled by me (PENNY-E3-P1,79.396)

and thou shalt never lack ; (PENNY-E3-P1,79.397)

she hearing him promise so fairly , told him she would ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,79.398)

and thereupon to draw her in by degrees to destruction he first tempted
her to Fornication , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.399)

and prevailed so far as to gain her , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.400)

but his Touch as she afterwards confessed to the Midwife were cold as
Ice or Snow . (PENNY-E3-P1,79.401)

From this time forward she was commonly once a day visited by her
Hellish Gallant , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.402)

and never wanted money , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.403)

for still as she swept the House , she should find some odd pieces , as
Ninepence Quarters of thirteen-pence-half-pennys , and the like ,
sufficient to supply all her occasions . (PENNY-E3-P1,79.404)

<heading>

CHAP. 2 . (PENNY-E3-P1,79.406)

HOW MOTHER SHIPTONS MOTHER PROVED WITH CHILD ; HOW SHE FITTED THE
SEVERE JUSTICE , AND WHAT HAPNED AT HER DELIVERY . (PENNY-E3-P1,79.407)

</heading>

The Neighbors observing Agatha without any Employ to live so handsomly
, wondred exceedingly how she came by it , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.409)

but were more surprized shortly afterward , when they perceiv'd her to
be with child , which she could not long hide , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.410)

for before her delivery , she was as big as if she had gone with half a
dozen children at once ; whereupon she was carried before a Justice ,
who chid & threatened her for her incontinency , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.411)

but he was soon silenced , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.412)

for his Wife and all his Family being present , Agatha said to him
aloud , Mr. Justice , gravely you talk now , (PENNY-E3-P1,79.413)

and yet the truth is , your Worship is not altogether free ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,79.414)

for here stands Two of your Servant wenches , that are both at this
time with Child by you ; pointing to them severally with her finger :
at which both himself and the two Girls were so blank , that his wife
plainly saw what she said was true , and therefore fell upon two poor
Harlots like a fury , so all Mr. Justice and the Constable <P_80> could
do was not enough to keep the peace , (PENNY-E3-P1,80.415)

and the whole family was in such confusion , that Agatha for that time
was dismist , and soon after was brought to bed in the Month of July ,
in the 4. year of the Reign of K. Henry the 7th . which was in the year
of our Lord , 1488 . (PENNY-E3-P1,80.416)

Her Travel was very grievous , (PENNY-E3-P1,80.417)

and a most terrible Clap of thunder hapned just as she was delivered of
this strange birth , which afterward was so famous by the name of
Mother Shipton . (PENNY-E3-P1,80.418)

Nor could the Tempest affright the women more than the prodigious
Physiognomy of the Child ; (PENNY-E3-P1,80.419)

the body was long , but very big-boned , great gogling eyes , very
sharp and fiery , a Nose of unproportionable length , having in it many
crooks and turnings , adorned with great pimples , which like vapours
of brimstone gave such a lustre in the night , that her Nurse needed no
other Candle to dress her by ; (PENNY-E3-P1,80.420)

and besides this uncouth shape , it was observ'd , that as soon as she
was born , she fell a laughing and grinning after a jeering manner ,
and immediately the Tempest ceased . (PENNY-E3-P1,80.421)

<heading>

CHAP. 3 . (PENNY-E3-P1,80.423)

BY WHAT NAME MOTHER SHIPTON WAS CHRISTENED AND HOW HER MOTHER WENT INTO
A MONASTERY . (PENNY-E3-P1,80.424)

</heading>

The Child being thus brought into the World , under such strange
circumstances was <paren> though not without some opposition </paren>
ordered at last by the Abbot of Beverly to be christened , which was
performed by the name Ursula Soothtell : (PENNY-E3-P1,80.426)

for the later was her mothers , and consequently her Maiden Sirname ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,80.427)

and as for Shipton , it was the name of her husband , whom she
afterwards married .... (PENNY-E3-P1,80.428)

<P_81>

<heading>

CHAP. 4 . (PENNY-E3-P1,81.431)

SEVERAL OTHER MERRY PRANKS PLAID BY MOTHER SHIPTON , IN REVENGE TO SUCH
AS ABUSED HER . (PENNY-E3-P1,81.432)

</heading>

As our Ursula grew up to riper years , she was often affronted , by
reason of her deformity , (PENNY-E3-P1,81.434)

but she never fail'd to be revenged on those that did it :
(PENNY-E3-P1,81.435)

As one day all the chief of the Parish being together at a merry
meeting , she coming thither occasionally on an Errand , some of them
abused her by calling her , The Devils Bastard , and Hag-face , and the
like ; whereupon she went away grumbling , but so ordered affairs ,
that when they was set down to Dinner , one of the principal Yeomen ,
that thought himself spruce and fine , had in an instant his Ruff
<paren> which in those days they wore </paren> pull'd off , and the
Seat of an House of Office clapt in its place ; (PENNY-E3-P1,81.436)

he that sate next him bursting out into a laughter at the sight hereof
, was served little better , (PENNY-E3-P1,81.437)

for his Hat was invisibly convey'd away , and the Pan of a Close-stool
which stood in the next Room , put on instead thereof .
(PENNY-E3-P1,81.438)

Besides this , a modest young Gentlewoman that sate at the Table at the
same time , looking at these two worthy Spectacles of mirth endeavour'd
all she could to Refrain laughing , (PENNY-E3-P1,81.439)

but cou'd not , (PENNY-E3-P1,81.440)

and withal continued breaking of wind backward for above a quarter of
an hour together , like so many broad-sides in a Sea-fight , which made
all the company laugh so extremely , that the Master of the house
<paren> being the chief Inn in the town </paren> was alarm'd below
therewith , and desirous to share with his Guests in their mirth , came
running up Stairs as fast as his legs would carry him ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,81.441)

but being about to enter the door , he could not , (PENNY-E3-P1,81.442)

and no wonder , since the oldest Man living never saw a larger pair of
Horns than he had on his Head . (PENNY-E3-P1,81.443)

But whilst they were gazing on one another , as more than half
distracted , they were all reduc'd to the same condition they were in
at first , after which followed a noise , as if <P_82> more than a
hundred persons were laughing together , (PENNY-E3-P1,82.444)

but nothing was seen . (PENNY-E3-P1,82.445)

<heading>

CHAP. 6 . (PENNY-E3-P1,82.447)

HER PROPHECY AGAINST CARDINAL WOOLSEY . (PENNY-E3-P1,82.448)

</heading>

By these and several the like exploits , Mother Shipton had got a name
far and near for a cunning woman , or a woman of the foresight , so
that her words began to be counted Oracles , (PENNY-E3-P1,82.450)

nor did she meddle only with private persons , (PENNY-E3-P1,82.451)

but was advised with concerned people of the greatest Quality ; among
which number at that time was Cardinal Woolsey , (PENNY-E3-P1,82.452)

when it was reported , that he intended to live at York , she publickly
said , He should never come thither ; which coming to his ear , and
being much offended , he caused three Lords to go to her , who came
disguised to Ring-house near York , where leaving their men , they took
a Guide and came to Mother Shipton's , where knocking at her door , she
cryed out within , Come in Mr. Beasly <paren> their Guide </paren> and
those Noble Lords with you . Which much surprized them that she should
know them , (PENNY-E3-P1,82.453)

for when they came in , she called each of them by name
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.454)

and treated them with Ale and Cakes , whereupon said one of the Lords ,
If you knew our Errand , you would not make so much of us ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.455)

you said the Cardinal should never see York . (PENNY-E3-P1,82.456)

No , said she , I said he might see York , but never come at it ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.457)

Well saies the Lord , when he does come thou shalt be burnt .
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.458)

Then taking off her Linnen Kerchief from her head , saies she , If this
burn , then I may burn ; (PENNY-E3-P1,82.459)

and immediately flung it into the fire before them ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.460)

but it would not burn , so that after it had lain in the flames a
quarter of an hour , she took it out again not so much as singed .
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.461)

Hereupon one of the Lords askt her what she thought of him ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,82.462)

My Lord , said she , the time is coming when your Grace will be as low
as I am , (PENNY-E3-P1,82.463)

and that is a <P_83> low one indeed . Which proved true ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,83.464)

for shortly after he was beheaded . (PENNY-E3-P1,83.465)

Nor was her speech of the Cardinal less verified , (PENNY-E3-P1,83.466)

for he coming to Cawood , went to the top of the Tower ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,83.467)

& askt where York was , which being shewn him , he enquired how far it
was thither , (PENNY-E3-P1,83.468)

For <paren> qd. he </paren> there was a Witch said , I should never see
York . (PENNY-E3-P1,83.469)

Nay , says one present , your Eminence is misinformed ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,83.470)

she said you should see it , but not come at it . (PENNY-E3-P1,83.471)

Then he vow'd to burn her when he came there , which was but eight
miles distant , (PENNY-E3-P1,83.472)

but behold , immediately he was sent for back by the King ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,83.473)

and dyed of a violent Loosness at Leicester . (PENNY-E3-P1,83.474)

<P_123>

<heading>

SIMON AND CISLEY . BY J.P. (PENNY-E3-P1,123.477)

THE MERRY CONCEITS AND PASSAGES OF SIMON AND CISLEY . TWO LANCASHIRE
LOVERS . (PENNY-E3-P1,123.478)

HOW SIMPLE SIMON CAME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SIMPERING CISLEY AT A
WEDDING . (PENNY-E3-P1,123.479)

</heading>

Simon & Cisley had formerly seen one another , but never had the
fortune to be acquainted , until accidentally there happened to be a
Wedding at the same Town where Simon lived , to which Cisley was
invited <paren> she living but a mile off with her Father , who was a
Widower , and had no more Children . </paren> (PENNY-E3-P1,123.481)

Being thus met at the Wedding , the Bride came to distribute her
Favours amongst her friends , (PENNY-E3-P1,123.482)

so Simon and Cisley had each of them one . (PENNY-E3-P1,123.483)

Cisley pinn'd hers upon her sleeve , (PENNY-E3-P1,123.484)

and Simon seeing her do so , was about to pinn his upon his sleeve too
: (PENNY-E3-P1,123.485)

But Cisley smiling at his mistake , told him it was the fashion for men
to wear them in their Hatbands , and if he pleased she would tye it for
him . (PENNY-E3-P1,123.486)

Says the Clerk of the Church , <paren> who saw her tying it </paren> in
truth Neighbour Simon , that Courtesie deserves a kiss ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,123.487)

say you so , quoth Simon , (PENNY-E3-P1,123.488)

marry then $i $'ll {TEXT:i'le} be sure to give her one , and a good one
too ; (PENNY-E3-P1,123.489)

so he clapt his Arms about her neck , (PENNY-E3-P1,123.490)

and gave her a great smacking kiss , after his own Country fashion .
(PENNY-E3-P1,123.491)

But after Simon had once tasted the pleasure of Cisleys sweet lips , he
was so over head and ears in love , that he could scarce eat any Dinner
at all : which the Clerk observed and askt him <paren> after Dinner
</paren> if he were in love , because he forsook his Victuals ?
(PENNY-E3-P1,123.492)

A shame take you , quoth Simon , (PENNY-E3-P1,123.493)

you made me kiss Cisley for nothing , but that you might get money for
another Wedding . (PENNY-E3-P1,123.494)

<P_124>

<heading>

HOW SIMON CONDUCTED CISLEY HOME , AND HE WOOED HER FATHER , THAT HE
MIGHT HAVE HER FOR HIS WIFE . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.497)

</heading>

After much mirth and dancing past at the Wedding , when it was time to
part , Simon told Cisley , that he had a great desire to see her home ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.499)

and she thought it no wisdom to refuse his courtesie , in regard it was
almost night , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.500)

and she wanted company : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.501)

so they took their leaves (PENNY-E3-P1,124.502)

and went together . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.503)

The first Style they came to , Simon made a stand ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.504)

why do you stay , quoth Cisley ? <paren> thinking he staid to kiss her
</paren> (PENNY-E3-P1,124.505)

pray go over ; (PENNY-E3-P1,124.506)

nay truly , quoth Simon , you go oftener this way ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.507)

and know it better than I do , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.508)

pray go you over first : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.509)

she argued the case with him a good while , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.510)

but for all she could say , she was glad to go first over every Style
they came to , a fair opportunity for him to see her lusty leg , which
made him more in love with her than ever he was before .
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.511)

After they had gone a prety way farther Simon began to discover his
affection to her in such a manner , as would have done a wise Woman
good to have heard him . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.512)

Cisley thankt him for his Love , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.513)

and told him she could not dispose of her self whilst her Father was
living , without his consent . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.514)

Simon told her he did not fear that at all ; (PENNY-E3-P1,124.515)

so they trudg'd on till they came to her Father , whom they found
sitting at the door , waiting for her coming home .
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.516)

As soon as Cisley was gone in , Simon being a little elevated with the
wedding Ale , began to wooe her Father more earnestly than ever he did
her : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.517)

& for a good while would take no denial , until at last the old man
perswaded him to get his Daughters consent , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.518)

and then he would tell him more . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.519)

When Simon had told Cisley what her father had said , she promised to
meet him the next Market-day and there to conclude the bargain at the
Tavern : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.520)

and so after a parting kiss , Simon went whistling hom jovially , to
tell his mother the good news , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.521)

<paren> for his father was dead </paren> . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.522)

<heading>

HOW SIMON PUT A TRICK UPON THE MILLER THAT THOUGHT TO DECEIVE HIM OF
HIS SWEETHEART . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.524)

</heading>

In the same Town where Simon lived , there dwelt a miller which had a
months mind to Cisley and resolved if he could possibly to deceive
Simon of his Beloved : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.526)

so it happened that the same night that Simon promised to be at her
Fathers , the miller chanced to ride thither , upon this black mare ,
which he used to carry Sacks on : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.527)

he had been there several times before , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.528)

but never found Cisley so Coy as she was now grown , since she made a
Promise to Simon . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.529)

Whilst they were together , Simon chanced to take Old Roan ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.530)

and away came he ambling in the dark to Visit his dear Duck :
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.531)

but when he came to put his Horse into the Stable , he found the
Millers mare there before him : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.532)

he knew the Millers business well enough (PENNY-E3-P1,124.533)

and therefore he resolved to fit him for coming there a Wooing again :
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.534)

so he would not put his horse into the stable (PENNY-E3-P1,124.535)

but tyed him under a Hedge , <paren> intending to go to Cisley as soon
as the miller was gone </paren> (PENNY-E3-P1,124.536)

and takes out the millers mare into the Yard , where he found an old
Wheel-barrow , which he tyed fast to the mares tail ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.537)

and when she was in her way home , he gave her three or four good
jearks , (PENNY-E3-P1,124.538)

and set her a running ding dong : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.539)

but when the Mare felt the wheel-barrow ratling at her arse , she ran
as if the Devil had been upon her back , so that she frighted all the
people that ever came in her way , and set all the Town where the
Miller lived , in a great uproar , every one concluding it was the
Devil , because she made such a noise in the night , and was black .
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.540)

Well , when the Miller took his leave of Cisley , and went to bring out
his Mare , he could not tell what to think , when he found her not in
the Stable : (PENNY-E3-P1,124.541)

but hoping she was broke loose , and run home , he made all the haste
that ever he could after her . (PENNY-E3-P1,124.542)

When the Miller was gone , Simon went to his sweet-heart ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,124.543)

& <P_126> told her what he had done , which made her laugh heartily ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,126.544)

but the poor Miller quite out of breath when he came to the Town , he
found all his Neighbours up in arms : (PENNY-E3-P1,126.545)

he askt the reason , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.546)

they told him , the devil was in their town , and had almost frighted
them out of their wits . (PENNY-E3-P1,126.547)

Then he told them he had lost his Mare , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.548)

and desired them to go with him , and see if she were at home :
(PENNY-E3-P1,126.549)

when they came there , they found the black she-Devil in a dropping
sweat , with an old Wheelbarrow at her Arse , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.550)

and had almost run her self to death . (PENNY-E3-P1,126.551)

The Miller suspecting that Simon had done it , went to see if he were
at home : (PENNY-E3-P1,126.552)

but finding he was not , he resolv'd to be quit with him before it was
long , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.553)

and so it fell out accordingly . (PENNY-E3-P1,126.554)

There lived a Conjurer within two miles of them , that was very notable
in that Art ; (PENNY-E3-P1,126.555)

but the miller suspecting such a thing , had been with him before , and
told him the whole jest , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.556)

and had given him a share of the money ; so that when Simon came to him
and desired to know who got his money , the man seemed to be very
diligent to pleasure him , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.557)

and fell to his study for a matter of half an hour ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,126.558)

and then told him , that if they were men that rob'd him , the chief
Actor among them , was one that got his living by the wind :
(PENNY-E3-P1,126.559)

and if he knew any man of such a profession , it might be easie to find
out them that robbed him , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.560)

otherwise he could do no more by his Art . (PENNY-E3-P1,126.561)

Simon satisfied him for his pains , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.562)

and went home to consult with his friends , who this person should be ,
that got his Living by the wind ; (PENNY-E3-P1,126.563)

but when they came to consider if it , they never thought of the Miller
, who was their Neighbour , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.564)

but gave the money for lost , concluding it must be either a Seaman or
a Trumpeter , (PENNY-E3-P1,126.565)

& therefore never likely to be recovered again . (PENNY-E3-P1,126.566)

<P_127>

<heading>

HOW THE PARSON WITH MUCH ADO GOT SIMON AND CISLEY MARRIED AFTER A MAD
FASHION . (PENNY-E3-P1,127.569)

</heading>

The former invited guests came upon the Holiday appointed , according
to promise , against which time Simon had once more got all things in
readiness ; (PENNY-E3-P1,127.571)

and to make sure that he should not be serv'd as he was before , he had
both laid a broader Bridge , and bought Cisley a pair of lower-heel'd
Shooes : (PENNY-E3-P1,127.572)

So now they were fixt , (PENNY-E3-P1,127.573)

and away they went to the Church ; (PENNY-E3-P1,127.574)

but when they came there , the Parson fell to work to marry them ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.575)

but when he came to ask Simon , wilt thou have Cisley to thy wedded
Wife ? (PENNY-E3-P1,127.576)

Yes sir <paren> qd. Simon </paren> if she be as willing as I ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.577)

or else I would not have her for all the World . (PENNY-E3-P1,127.578)

The Parson then askt Cisley , wilt thou have Simon to thy wedded
Husband ? (PENNY-E3-P1,127.579)

yes sir quoth Cisley , <paren> making a low courtesie </paren> if you
please ; which made the company smile : (PENNY-E3-P1,127.580)

but the Parson seeing their ignorance , was glad to direct them ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.581)

and so with much ado he got them married after a mad fashion ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.582)

and home they went with great joy , where they had a dinner of Simons
mothers own dressing who was very glad that her only Son was so well
married , (PENNY-E3-P1,127.583)

and so was Cisleys old Father too for his Daughter .
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.584)

After dinner they had a Cup of good Ale of their own brewing , and the
lame Fidler to make them merry , with which they past on the time till
Supper , and from that time , until they had gotten the Bride to Bed ;
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.585)

but they had much ado to get Simon to go to bed to her whilst they were
there ; (PENNY-E3-P1,127.586)

but at length he was perswaded to venture upon it ,
(PENNY-E3-P1,127.587)

and then the Company left them , (PENNY-E3-P1,127.588)

and wisht them a good night . (PENNY-E3-P1,127.589)

Finis . (PENNY-E3-P1,127.590)