A PREPARATIVE TO MARRIAGE . (SMITH-E2-P1,1.3)
You are come hether to bee contracted in the Lord , (SMITH-E2-P1,1.5)
that is , of two to bee made one : (SMITH-E2-P1,1.6)
for as God hath knit the bones and sinewes together for the
strengthening of the bodie , so he hath knit man and woman together for
the strengthening of this life , because two are stronger than one
{COM:sic} : (SMITH-E2-P1,1.7)
and therefore when God made the Woman for Man , he sayd , I will
make him a helpe : shewing that man is stronger by his Wife .
(SMITH-E2-P1,1.8)
Euerie Marriage before it bee knit should bee contracted , as it is
shewed in Exo. 22.16. and Deut. 22.28.
which stay between the Contract & the Marriage , was the time of
longing for the affections to settle in , because the deferring of that
which wee loue doth kindle the desire , which if it came easilie and
speedilie to vs , would make vs set lesse by it . (SMITH-E2-P1,2.9)
Therefore we reade how Ioseph and Marie
were contracted before they were married . (SMITH-E2-P1,2.10)
In the Contract Christ was conceaued , (SMITH-E2-P1,2.11)
and in the Mariage Christ was borne , that he might honour both estates
, Virginitie with his Conception , and Marriage with his Birth .
(SMITH-E2-P1,2.12)
You are contracted but to bee married , (SMITH-E2-P1,2.13)
therefore I passe from Contracts to speake of Mariage , which is
nothing els but a communion of life between man and woman , ioyned
together according to the ordinance of God . (SMITH-E2-P1,2.14)
First I will shewe the excellencie of Marriage : then the institution
of it : then the causes of it : then the choise of it : then the
dueties of it : and lastly the diuorcement of it . (SMITH-E2-P1,3.15)
Well might Paule say , Mariage is honourable
, (SMITH-E2-P1,3.16)
for God hath honoured it himselfe . (SMITH-E2-P1,3.17)
It is honourable for the author , honourable for the time , and
honorable for the place . (SMITH-E2-P1,3.18)
Whereas all other ordinaunces were appoynted of God by the hands of men
, or the hands of Angells , Marriage was ordained by God himselfe ,
which $can $not {TEXT:cannot} erre . (SMITH-E2-P1,3.19)
No man nor Angell brought the Wife to the Husband but God himselfe :
(SMITH-E2-P1,3.20)
so Marriage hath more honour of God in this , than all other ordinances
of God beside , because he solemnized it himselfe . (SMITH-E2-P1,3.21)
Then it is honourable for the time , (SMITH-E2-P1,3.22)
for it was the first ordinance which God instituted , euen the
first thing which he did after man and woman were created , & that in
the state of innocencie before either had sinned , like the finest
flower which will not thriue but in a cleane ground .
(SMITH-E2-P1,4.23)
Before man had any other calling he was called to be a Husband :
(SMITH-E2-P1,4.24)
therefore it hath the honour of antiquitie aboue all other ordinances ,
because it was ordained first , and is the ancientest calling of men .
(SMITH-E2-P1,4.25)
Then it is honourable for the place ; (SMITH-E2-P1,4.26)
for whereas all other ordinances were instituted out of Paradise
, Marriage was instituted in Paradise in the
happiest place , to signifie howe happie they are which marrie in the
Lord , (SMITH-E2-P1,4.27)
they doo not only marrie one another , (SMITH-E2-P1,4.28)
but Christ is maried vnto them , (SMITH-E2-P1,4.29)
& so Mariage hath the honor of the place aboue all other ordina~ces to
, because it was ordained in Paradise .
(SMITH-E2-P1,5.30)
As God the Father honored Mariage , so did God the Sonne , which is
called the seede of the woman : (SMITH-E2-P1,5.31)
and therefore Mariage was so honored amongst women because of this
seede , that when Elizabeth brought foorth a soone , she
said , that God had taken away her rebukes ; counting it the honor of
women to beare children , and by consequence , the honour of women to
be maried ; (SMITH-E2-P1,5.32)
for the children which are borne out of Mariage are the dishonor of
women , and called by the shamefull name of Bastards .
(SMITH-E2-P1,5.33)
As Christ honoured Mariage with his birth , so he honoured it with his
miracles : (SMITH-E2-P1,5.34)
for the first miracle which Christe did , hee wrought at a Mariage in
Chanaan , where he turned their water into wine :
(SMITH-E2-P1,6.35)
so , if Christ be at your Mariage , that is , if you marie in christ ,
your water shall bee turned into wine , (SMITH-E2-P1,6.36)
that is , your peace , and your rest , and your ioy , and your
happiness shal begin with your Mariage ; (SMITH-E2-P1,6.37)
but if you marrie not in Christ , then your wine shall be turned into
water , (SMITH-E2-P1,6.38)
that is , you shall liue worse hereafter than you did before .
(SMITH-E2-P1,6.39)
As he honoured it with miracles , so he honored it with praises :
(SMITH-E2-P1,6.40)
for hee compareth the kingdome of God to a Wedding , (SMITH-E2-P1,6.41)
and he compareth holines to a Wedding garment . (SMITH-E2-P1,6.42)
And in the 5. of Canticles he is wedded himselfe .
(SMITH-E2-P1,6.43)
We reade in Scripture of three Mariages of Christ . (SMITH-E2-P1,6.44)
The first was when Christ and our nature met together .
(SMITH-E2-P1,6.45)
The second is , when Christ and our soule ioyne together .
(SMITH-E2-P1,6.46)
The third is , the vnion of Christ and his Church .
(SMITH-E2-P1,7.47)
These are Christs 3. wiues . (SMITH-E2-P1,7.48)
As Christ honoreth Mariage ; so doo Christs Disciples :
(SMITH-E2-P1,7.49)
for Iohn calleth the Coniunction of Christ and the
faithfull , a Mariage . (SMITH-E2-P1,7.50)
And in Reuel. 21.9. the Church hath the name of a Bride
, whereas Heresie is called a Harlot . (SMITH-E2-P1,7.51)
Further , for the honour of Mariage , Paule sheweth how
by it the curse of the woman was turned into a blessing ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,7.52)
for the womans curse was the paines which she should suffer in her
trauaile . (SMITH-E2-P1,7.53)
Now by Mariage this curse is turned into a blessing ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,7.54)
for children are the first blesing in al the Scripture .
(SMITH-E2-P1,7.55)
And therefore Christ saieth , that so soone as the mother seeth a man
child borne into the world , she forgetteth all her sorrowes , as
though her curse were turned into a blessing . (SMITH-E2-P1,7.56)
And further , Paule saith , that by bearing of
children , if she continue in faith and patience , she shall bee saued
, as though one curse were turned into two blessings .
(SMITH-E2-P1,8.57)
For first she shall haue children , (SMITH-E2-P1,8.58)
and after she shall haue saluation . (SMITH-E2-P1,8.59)
What a mercifull God haue wee , whose curses are blessings ?
(SMITH-E2-P1,8.60)
Who would haue thought that God had hid a blessing in his curse ?
(SMITH-E2-P1,8.61)
So hee loued our parents when hee punished them , that hee could scarse
punish them for loue , and therefore a comfort was folded in his
iudgement . (SMITH-E2-P1,8.62)
To honour Mariage more , it is said , that God tooke a rib out of
Adams side , and thereof built the woman .
(SMITH-E2-P1,8.63)
He is not saide to make man a wife , but to build him a wife ,
signifying , that man & wife make as it were one house together , &
that the building was not perfect , vntil the woma~ was made
aswell as the man : (SMITH-E2-P1,9.64)
therefore if the building bee not perfect now , it must be destroyed
againe . (SMITH-E2-P1,9.65)
Before God made the woman , it is sayd , that he cast the man into a
sleepe , and in his sleepe he tooke a rib out of his side , and as he
made the man of earth , so he made the woman of bone , while
Adam was a sleepe . (SMITH-E2-P1,9.66)
This doth teach vs two thinges : (SMITH-E2-P1,9.67)
As the first Adam was a figure of the second Adam
, so the first Adams sleepe was a figure of the
second Adams sleepe , (SMITH-E2-P1,9.68)
& the first Adams spouse was a figure of the second
Adams spouse . (SMITH-E2-P1,9.69)
That is , as in the sleepe of Adam , Eue was borne ; so
in the sleepe of Christ the Church was borne : (SMITH-E2-P1,9.70)
as a bone came out of the first Adams side , so bloud
came out of the second Adams side . (SMITH-E2-P1,9.71)
As Adams spouse receiued life in his sleep ; so
Christs spouse receiued life in his sleepe : (SMITH-E2-P1,10.72)
that is , the death of Christ is the life of the Church ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,10.73)
for the Apostle calleth Death a sleepe , (SMITH-E2-P1,10.74)
but Christ which dyed is called Life , shewing that in his death we
liue . (SMITH-E2-P1,10.75)
Secondly , this sleep which the ma~ was cast into , while his wife was
created , dooth teach vs that our affections , our lusts , & our
concupicenses , should sleepe while wee goe about this action .
(SMITH-E2-P1,10.76)
As the man slept while his wife was making , so our flesh should sleepe
while our wife is choosing , least as the loue of Venison wan
Isaak to blesse one for another , so the loue of gentrie , or
riches , or beautie make vs take one for another . (SMITH-E2-P1,10.77)
To honour Mariage more yet , or rather to teach the maried how
to honour one another , it is saide , that the wife was made of the
husbands rib : not of his head , for Paule calleth the
husbande the wiues head : nor of the foote , for he must not set her at
his foote : (SMITH-E2-P1,11.78)
the seruant is appoynted to serue , and the wife to helpe .
(SMITH-E2-P1,11.79)
If she must not match with the head , nor stoope at the foote , where
shall he set her then ? (SMITH-E2-P1,11.80)
He must set her at his heart , (SMITH-E2-P1,11.81)
and therefore she which should lie in his bosome , was made in his
bosome , (SMITH-E2-P1,11.82)
and should bee as close to him as his ribb of which she was fashioned .
(SMITH-E2-P1,11.83)
Lastly , in all Nations the day of Mariage was reputed the ioyfullest
day in all their life , (SMITH-E2-P1,11.84)
and is reputed still of all , as though the Sunne of happines began
that day to shine vpon vs , when a good wife is brought vnto vs .
(SMITH-E2-P1,11.85)
Therfore one saith , that Mariage doth signifie Merriage ,
because a playfellow is come to make our age merrie .
(SMITH-E2-P1,12.86)
Salomon considering al these excellencies , as though
wee were more indebted to God for this tha~ other temporall gifts ,
saith : House and riches are the inheritance of the fathers :
(SMITH-E2-P1,12.87)
but a prudent wife commeth of the Lord . (SMITH-E2-P1,12.88)
House and riches are giuen of God , and all things els ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,12.89)
& yet hee saith , house and riches are giuen of parents , but a good
wife is giuen of God : as though a good wife were such a gift , as we
should account from God alone , and accept as if hee should send vs a
present from heauen , with this name written vpon it , The gift
of God . (SMITH-E2-P1,12.90)
Beasts are ordained for foode , and cloathes for warmth , and flowers
for pleasure , (SMITH-E2-P1,12.91)
but the wife is ordained for man , like little Zoar , a
Citie of refuge to flie to in all his troubles ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,13.92)
& there is no peace comparable vnto her , but the peace of conscience .
(SMITH-E2-P1,13.93)
Now it must needes be , that Mariage , which was ordeined of such an
excellent Author , and in such a happie place , and of such an auncient
time , and after such a notable order , must likewise haue speciall
causes for the ordenance of it . (SMITH-E2-P1,13.94)
Therefore the holie Ghost doth shewe vs three causes of this Vnion .
(SMITH-E2-P1,13.95)
One is , the propagation of children , signified in that when
Moses saith , He created them male and female ,
not both male , nor both female , but one male , and the other female ,
as if he created them fit to propagate other . (SMITH-E2-P1,13.96)
And therefore when he had created them so , to shewe that propagation
of children is one ende of Mariage , he saide vnto them ,
Increase and multiplie , (SMITH-E2-P1,14.97)
that is , bring forth children , as other creatures bring forth their
kinde . (SMITH-E2-P1,14.98)
For this cause Marriage is called Matrimonie , which
signifieth Mothers , because it makes them Mothers , which were Virgins
before : and is the seminarie of the worlde , without which , all
things should be in vaine , for want of men to vse them ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,14.99)
for God reserueth the great Citie to himselfe , (SMITH-E2-P1,14.100)
and this suburbs he hath set out to vs , which are regents by sea and
by lande . (SMITH-E2-P1,14.101)
If children be such a chiefe end of Marriage , then it seemes , that
where there can be no hope of children , for age or other causes ,
there Marriage is not so lawfull , because it is maimed of one of his
ends , and seemes rather to be sought for wealth , or for lust , than
for this blessing of children . (SMITH-E2-P1,14.102)
It is not good grafting of an olde head vppon young shoulders ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,15.103)
for they will neuer beare it willingly but grudgingly .
(SMITH-E2-P1,15.104)
Twise the Wife is called , the Wife of thy youth , as
though when men are old , the time of Marrying were past .
(SMITH-E2-P1,15.105)
Therefore God makes such vnequall matches so ridiculous euery where ,
that they please none but the parties themselues , vntill the time of
their dotage be expired . (SMITH-E2-P1,15.106)
The second cause is to auoide fornication : (SMITH-E2-P1,15.107)
this Paule signifieth , when he saith , For the
auoiding of fornication , let euery man haue his owne wife .
(SMITH-E2-P1,15.108)
He saith not for auoiding of adultery , but for auoiding of fornication
, shewing , that fornication is vnlawfull too , which the Papists make
lawfull , in mainteining their Stewes , as a stage for
fornicators to play vppon , and a Sanctuary to defende them , like
Absoloms Tent , which was spread vpon the top of the
house , that all Israel might see how he defiled his
fathers concubines . (SMITH-E2-P1,16.109)
For this cause , Malachi sayth , that God did create but
one Woman for the man , (SMITH-E2-P1,16.110)
he had power to create moe , (SMITH-E2-P1,16.111)
but to shewe that he woulde haue him sticke to one , therefore he
created of one ribbe but one wife for one husbande :
(SMITH-E2-P1,16.112)
and in the Arke , there were no moe women than men . But foure wiues
for four husbands , although it was in the beginning of the world ,
when many wiues might seeme necessarie to multiply mankinde .
(SMITH-E2-P1,16.113)
If any might haue a dispensation heerein , it seemes the King might be
priuiledged before any other , be cause of succession to the
Crowne , if his wife should happen to be barren . (SMITH-E2-P1,17.114)
And yet the King is forbidden to take many wiues in Deut.
17.17. as well as the Minister
{COM:is_forbidden_to_take_many_wives} in 1. Timo. 3.2.
shewing , that the danger of the state , doth not counteruaile the
danger of fornication . (SMITH-E2-P1,17.115)
For this cause we reade of none but wicked Lamech before
the Flood , that had moe wiues than one , whome Iouinian
calleth a monster , because he made 2. ribs of one .
(SMITH-E2-P1,17.116)
And another saith , that the name of his second wife doth signifie a
shadowe , because she was not a wife , but the shadowe of a wife :
(SMITH-E2-P1,17.117)
for this cause the Scripture neuer biddeth man to loue his wiues , but
to loue his Wife , (SMITH-E2-P1,17.118)
and sayeth , They shall be two in one fleshe , not three
, nor foure , but onely two . (SMITH-E2-P1,17.119)
For this cause , Salomon calleth the whorish
woman a strange woman , to shew that she should be a stranger to vs ,
and we should be strange to her . (SMITH-E2-P1,18.120)
For this cause , children which are borne in mariage , are called
Liberi , which signifieth free borne :
(SMITH-E2-P1,18.121)
and they which are borne out of marriage , are called Bastards , that
is , base borne , like the Mule which is ingendred of an Asse & a Mare
. (SMITH-E2-P1,18.122)
Therefore adulterers are likened to the Deuill , which sowed another
mans ground , (SMITH-E2-P1,18.123)
other sowe for a Haruest , (SMITH-E2-P1,18.124)
but they sowe that which they dare not reape . (SMITH-E2-P1,18.125)
Therfore children borne in Wedlocke were counted Gods blessing ,
because they come by vertue of that blessing , Increase and
multiplie . (SMITH-E2-P1,18.126)
But before Adame and Eue were married ,
God neuer sayd Increase , shewing that he did cursse and
not blesse such increase . (SMITH-E2-P1,18.127)
Therefore we reade not in all the Scripture of one Bastard that
came to any good , but onely Iphtah ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,19.128)
and to shewe that no inheritance did belong to them in heauen , they
had no inheritance in earth , (SMITH-E2-P1,19.129)
neyther were counted of the congregation , as other were . Deut.
23.2. (SMITH-E2-P1,19.130)
Now , because Marriage was appointed , for a remedie against
fornication , therefore the lawe of God inflicted a sorer punishment
vppon them which did commit vncleannes after Marriage , than vppon him
which was not married , because he sinned , although he had the remedie
of sinne , lyke a rich theefe which stealeth , and hath no neede .
(SMITH-E2-P1,19.131)
Now if Marriage be a remedie against the sinne of fornication , then
vnlesse Ministers may commit the sinne of fornication , it
seemes that they may vse the remedie as well as other :
(SMITH-E2-P1,20.132)
for as it is better for one man to marrie than to burne , so it is
better for all men to marrie than to burne : (SMITH-E2-P1,20.133)
and therefore Paule sayth , Marriage is
honourable amongst all men . (SMITH-E2-P1,20.134)
And againe , for the auoiding of fornication , let euery man
haue his Wife . (SMITH-E2-P1,20.135)
And although he did forsee , that some woulde excepte the Minister in
time to come , in the first of Timo. 3.2. hee speaketh
more precisely of the Ministers wife , than of any other , saying ,
Let him be the husband of one Wife :
(SMITH-E2-P1,20.136)
and least ye should say that by one wife , he meaneth one Benefice like
the Papists . He expoundeth himself in the fourth verse ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,20.137)
and saith , that he must be one that can rule his house well , and his
children . (SMITH-E2-P1,20.138)
Sure God would not haue these children to be Bastards ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,20.139)
and therefore it is like that he aloweth the Minister a Wife .
(SMITH-E2-P1,21.141)
Therefore Paule said well , that he had no commandement
for Virginitie , (SMITH-E2-P1,21.142)
for Virginitie $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be commaunded , because it is a
speciall gift , but not a speciall gift to Ministers ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,21.143)
& therfore they are not to be bound more tha~ other .
(SMITH-E2-P1,21.144)
A peculiar gift may not be made a general rule , because none can vse
it , but they which haue it . (SMITH-E2-P1,21.145)
And therfore in 1. Cor. 7.17. he saith , As God
hath distributed to euery man , so let him walk .
(SMITH-E2-P1,21.146)
That is , if he haue not the gift of continencie , he is bound to
marrie : (SMITH-E2-P1,21.147)
and therefore Paule commaundeth in the seuenth verse ,
whether he be Minister or other , If they $can $not
{TEXT:cannot} abstaine , let them marrie , as though they
tempted God if they married not . (SMITH-E2-P1,21.148)
The Law was generall , (SMITH-E2-P1,21.149)
It is not good for man to be alone , exempting
one order of men no more than an other . (SMITH-E2-P1,22.150)
And again Christ speaking of Chastity saith , All men $can $not
{TEXT:cannot} receiue this thing . (SMITH-E2-P1,22.151)
Therefore vnlesse we knowe , that this order of men can receiue this
thing : Christ forbids to binde them more than other ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,22.152)
and therefore as the Priests were maried that taught the Lawe , so
Christ chose Apostles which were married , to preach the Gospell .
(SMITH-E2-P1,22.153)
Therefore the doctrine of Papists , is the doctrine of Deuils ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,22.154)
for Paule calleth the forbidding of mariage , the
doctrine of Deuils , a fit title for all their bookes .
(SMITH-E2-P1,22.155)
Lastly , if Mariage be a remedie against sinne , then Mariage it selfe
is no sinne : (SMITH-E2-P1,22.156)
for if Mariage it selfe were a sinne , we might not marrie for any
cause , because we must not do the least euill that the greatest
good may come of it : (SMITH-E2-P1,23.157)
and if Mariage be not a sinne , then the dueties of Mariage are no
sinne , (SMITH-E2-P1,23.158)
that is , the secreate of Mariage is not euill , (SMITH-E2-P1,23.159)
and therefore Paule saith not only Mariage is
honourable , (SMITH-E2-P1,23.160)
but the bed is honorable , (SMITH-E2-P1,23.161)
that is , euen the action of Mariage is as lawfull , as Mariage .
(SMITH-E2-P1,23.162)
Besides Paul saith , Let the husband giue vnto
the Wife due beneuolence : (SMITH-E2-P1,23.163)
heere is a commandement to yeeld this duety : (SMITH-E2-P1,23.164)
that which is commanded , is lawfull ; (SMITH-E2-P1,23.165)
and not to doe it , is a breach of the commandement .
(SMITH-E2-P1,23.166)
Therefore Mariage was instituted before any sinne was , to shew that
there is no sinne in it if it be not abused : (SMITH-E2-P1,23.167)
but because this is rare , therefore after women were deliuered , God
appointed them to be purified , shewing , that some staine or other
doth creep into this action , which had neede to be repented ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,24.168)
and therefore when they prayed , Paule would not haue
them come together , least their prayers should be hindered .
(SMITH-E2-P1,24.169)
The third cause is , to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse ,
signified in these words , It is not good for man to be alone
, as though he had said , this life would be miserable and
irkesome , and vnpleasant to man , if the Lord had not giuen him a wife
to company his troubles . (SMITH-E2-P1,24.170)
If it be not good for man to be alone , then it is good for man to haue
a fellow : (SMITH-E2-P1,24.171)
therefore as God created a paire of all other kindes , so he created a
paire of this kinde . (SMITH-E2-P1,24.172)
We say that one is none , because he $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be fewer
than one , he can not be lesser than one , he can not be weaker than
one , (SMITH-E2-P1,24.173)
and therfore the Wise man saith , Woe to him which is
alone , (SMITH-E2-P1,25.174)
that is , he which is alone , shall haue woe . (SMITH-E2-P1,25.175)
Thoughts and cares , and feares , will come to him , because he hath
none to co~fort him , as theeues steale in when the house is emptie ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,25.176)
like a Turtle , which hath lost his mate , like one legge when the
other is cut off , like one wing when the other is clipt , so had the
man bin , if the woman had not bin ioyned to him : (SMITH-E2-P1,25.177)
therefore for mutuall societie , God coupled two together , that the
infinite troubles which lye vppon vs in this world , might be eased ,
with the comfort and helpe one of an other , and that the poore in the
world might haue some comfort as well as the rich ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,25.178)
for the poore man saith Salomon
is forsaken of his owne brethren ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,25.179)
yet God hath prouided one comforter for him , like Ionathans
armour-bearer , that shall neuer forsake him , that is
another selfe , which is the only commoditie as I may tearme it ,
wherein the poore doe match the rich , without which , some persons
should haue no helper , no comforter , no friend at all .
(SMITH-E2-P1,26.180)
But as it is not good to be alone , so Salomon sheweth ,
That it is better to be alone , than to dwell with a froward
Wife , which is like a quotidian ague , to keepe his patience
in vre . (SMITH-E2-P1,26.181)
Such furies do haunt some men , like Saules spirit , as
though the Deuill had put a sword into their handes to kill themselues
, (SMITH-E2-P1,26.182)
therefore choose whome thou mayest enioy , (SMITH-E2-P1,26.183)
or liue alone still , (SMITH-E2-P1,26.184)
and thou shalt not repent thy bargaine . (SMITH-E2-P1,26.185)
That thou mayest take and kepe without repentance , now we will speake
of the choice , which some call the way to good wiues dwelling ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,27.186)
for these flowers grow not on euery ground : (SMITH-E2-P1,27.187)
therefore they say , that in wiuing and striuing , a man should take
counsell of all the world . (SMITH-E2-P1,27.188)
As Moses considered what spies he sent into
Chanaan , so thou must regarde whome thou sendest to spie out a
Wife for thee . (SMITH-E2-P1,27.189)
Discretion is a warie spie , (SMITH-E2-P1,27.190)
but fancie is a rash spie , (SMITH-E2-P1,27.191)
and liketh whome she will mislike againe . (SMITH-E2-P1,27.192)
In Zacharie , Sinne is called a woman , which sheweth ,
that women haue many faults , (SMITH-E2-P1,27.193)
therefore he which chooseth of them , had neede haue iudgement , and
make an Anatomie of their bodies and minds by squire and rule , before
he say , This shall be mine . (SMITH-E2-P1,27.194)
For the wisest man sayth , I haue found one man of a thousand ,
but a woman among them all haue I not found , as though
there were a dearth of good women ouer the worlde .
(SMITH-E2-P1,28.195)
For helpe hereof in 1. Cor. 7.39. wee are taught to
marrie in the Lord , (SMITH-E2-P1,28.196)
then we must choose in the Lord too : (SMITH-E2-P1,28.197)
therefore we must begin our Mariage where Salomon began
his wisedome . (SMITH-E2-P1,28.198)
Giue vnto thy seruant an vnderstanding heart :
(SMITH-E2-P1,28.199)
so giue vnto thy seruant an vndersta~ding wife . (SMITH-E2-P1,28.200)
If Abrahams seruant praied the Lord to prosper his
businesse when hee went about to choose a wife for another , how
shouldst thou pray when thou goest about a wife for thy selfe , that
thou maiest say after , My lot is fallen in a pleasant ground .
(SMITH-E2-P1,28.201)
To direct thee to a right choice herein , the holie Ghost giues thee
two rules , Godlines and Fitnes :
(SMITH-E2-P1,28.202)
Godlines , because our Spouse must bee like Christs spouse , that is ,
graced with gifts & imbrodered with vertues , as if wee did
marrie Holinesse her selfe . (SMITH-E2-P1,29.203)
For the mariage of man and woman , is resembled of the Apostle to the
Mariage of Christ and the Church . (SMITH-E2-P1,29.204)
Now , the Church is called Holie , because she is holie
. (SMITH-E2-P1,29.205)
In the 6. Cantic. she is called Vndefiled
, because she is vndefiled . (SMITH-E2-P1,29.206)
In the 45. Psalme she is called faire within
, because her beautie is inwarde : (SMITH-E2-P1,29.207)
so our Spouse should bee holie , vndefiled , and faire within .
(SMITH-E2-P1,29.208)
As God respecteth the heart , so we must respect the heart , because
that must loue , and not the face . (SMITH-E2-P1,29.209)
Couetousnes hath euer been a suter to the richest , and pride to the
highest , and lightnesse to the fairest , (SMITH-E2-P1,29.210)
and for reuenge hereof his ioye hath euer ended with his wiues youth ,
which tooke her beautie with it . (SMITH-E2-P1,29.211)
The goods of the world are good , (SMITH-E2-P1,30.212)
and the goods of the bodie are good , (SMITH-E2-P1,30.213)
but the goods of the minde are better . (SMITH-E2-P1,30.214)
As Paule commendeth Faith , and Hope , & Charitie , but
saith the greatest of these is Charitie : so I may commend beauty , and
riches , and godlines , (SMITH-E2-P1,30.215)
but the best of these is godlinesse , because it hath the thinges which
it wants , and makes euerie state alike with her gift of contentation .
(SMITH-E2-P1,30.216)
Secondly , the mate must be fit : (SMITH-E2-P1,30.217)
it is not enough to bee vertuous , but to bee sutable ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,30.218)
for diuers women haue many vertues , (SMITH-E2-P1,30.219)
and yet doo not fit with some men ; (SMITH-E2-P1,30.220)
& diuers men haue many vertues , (SMITH-E2-P1,30.221)
and yet doo not fit to some women : (SMITH-E2-P1,30.222)
and therefore we see many times , euen the godly couples to iarre when
they are married , because there is some vnfitnes betweene them
which makes oddes . (SMITH-E2-P1,31.223)
What is oddes but the contrary to euen ? (SMITH-E2-P1,31.224)
Therefore make them euen saith one
(SMITH-E2-P1,31.225)
and there will be no oddes . (SMITH-E2-P1,31.226)
From hence came the first vse of the Ring in Weddings , to represe~t
this euennes : (SMITH-E2-P1,31.227)
for if it be straighter than the finger it will pinch ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,31.228)
& if it be wider than the finger it wil fall of ; (SMITH-E2-P1,31.229)
but if it bee fit , it neither pincheth nor slippeth :
(SMITH-E2-P1,31.230)
So they which are like striue not , but they which are vnlike ,
{COM:strive} as fire and water . (SMITH-E2-P1,31.231)
Therefore one obserueth , that concord is nothing but likenesse , and
that all strife is for vnfitnes : as in things when they fit not
together , and in persons when they suite not one another .
(SMITH-E2-P1,31.232)
How was God pleased when he had found a King according to his owne
heart ? (SMITH-E2-P1,31.233)
So shall that man be pleased which findes a wife according to
his owne heart , (SMITH-E2-P1,32.234)
whether he be rich or poore , his peace shall affoord him a chearefull
life , and teach him to sing , In loue is no lacke .
(SMITH-E2-P1,32.235)
Therefore a godly man in our time thanked the Lord that he had not
onely giuen him a godly wife , but a fit wife : (SMITH-E2-P1,32.236)
for he sayd not that she was the wisest , nor the holiest , nor the
humblest , nor the modestest wife in the world , but the fitest wife
for him in the world , which euery man should thinke when that knot is
tyed , (SMITH-E2-P1,32.237)
or els so often as he seeth a better , he will wish that his choyce
were to make againe . (SMITH-E2-P1,32.238)
As hee did thanke God for sending him a fit wife , so the vnmaried
should pray God to send them a fit wife : (SMITH-E2-P1,32.239)
for if they be not like , they will not like . (SMITH-E2-P1,32.240)
This fitnesse is commended by the holy Ghost in two words :
(SMITH-E2-P1,32.241)
one is in the 2. of Gen. (SMITH-E2-P1,33.242)
and the other is in the 2. Cor. 6. 14 .
(SMITH-E2-P1,33.243)
That in Gene. is Meete :
(SMITH-E2-P1,33.244)
God saith , I will make man a helpe meet for him .
Shewing , that a wife $can $not {TEXT:cannot} helpe well , vnles she be
meete . (SMITH-E2-P1,33.245)
Further , it sheweth that man is such an excellent creature , that no
creature was like vnto him , or meete for him till the woman was made .
(SMITH-E2-P1,33.246)
This meetnesse God sheweth againe in the 22. verse , where Moses
saieth , that of the ribbe which was taken out of man God built
the woman : signifying , that as one parte of the building dooth meete
and fit with another ; so the wife should meete and fit with the
husband , that as they are called couples , so they may be called
paires , (SMITH-E2-P1,33.247)
that is , like as a paire of gloues , or a paire of hose are like ; so
man and wife should be like , because they are a paire of
friends . (SMITH-E2-P1,34.248)
If thou be learned , chuse one that loueth knowledge :
(SMITH-E2-P1,34.249)
if thou bee Martiall , chuse one that loueth prowesse :
(SMITH-E2-P1,34.250)
if thou must liue by thy labour , chuse one that loueth husbandrie :
(SMITH-E2-P1,34.251)
for vnlesse her mind stande with thy vocation , thou shalt neither-1
inioye thy wife , nor thy calling . (SMITH-E2-P1,34.252)
That other word in the 2. Cor. 6. 14. is Yoke
, (SMITH-E2-P1,34.253)
there Mariage is called a Yoke . (SMITH-E2-P1,34.254)
Paule saith , Be not vnequally yoked .
(SMITH-E2-P1,34.255)
If Mariage be a yoke , then they which drawe in it must be fit , like
two Oxen which draw the yoke together , (SMITH-E2-P1,34.256)
or els all the burden will lie vpon one . (SMITH-E2-P1,34.257)
Therefore they are called yoke fellowes too , to shew that they which
draw this yoke must be fellowes . (SMITH-E2-P1,34.258)
As he which soweth seede , chuseth a fit grou~d , because they say , it
is good grafting vppon a good stocke : so he which wil haue
godly children must chuse a godly wife : (SMITH-E2-P1,35.259)
for like Mother sayeth Ezechiel like
daughter . (SMITH-E2-P1,35.260)
Now , as the Trauailer hath markes in his way that hee may proceed
aright : so the suiter hath markes in his way that hee may chuse right
. (SMITH-E2-P1,35.261)
There be certaine signes of this fitnes , and godlinesse , both-2 in
the man and the woman . (SMITH-E2-P1,35.262)
If thou wilt knowe a godly man , or a godly woman , thou must marke
fiue things ; the report , the lookes , the speach , the apparell , and
the companions , which are like the pulses that shewe whether we be
well or ill . (SMITH-E2-P1,35.263)
The report , because as the market goeth , so they say the market men
talke . (SMITH-E2-P1,35.264)
A good man co~monly hath a good name , because a good name is one of
the blessinges which God promiseth to good men ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,36.265)
but a good name is not to be praised from the wicked :
(SMITH-E2-P1,36.266)
& therfore Christ saieth , Cursed are you when all men speake
well of you : that is , when euill men speake well of you ,
bicause this is a signe that you are of the world ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,36.267)
for the world liketh and praiseth her owne .
(SMITH-E2-P1,36.268)
Yet as Christ said , Who can accuse me of sin ?
(SMITH-E2-P1,36.269)
So it should bee said of vs , (SMITH-E2-P1,36.270)
not who can accuse me of sinne ? (SMITH-E2-P1,36.271)
but who can accuse me of this sinne , (SMITH-E2-P1,36.272)
or who ca~ accuse me of that sinne ? (SMITH-E2-P1,36.273)
That is , who can accuse me of swearing ? (SMITH-E2-P1,36.274)
who ca~ accuse me of dissembling ? (SMITH-E2-P1,36.275)
who can accuse mee of fornication ? (SMITH-E2-P1,36.276)
No man can say this of his thought , (SMITH-E2-P1,36.277)
but euery one should say it of the act , like Zachariah
& Elizabeth , which are called vnblameable before men ,
because none could accuse them of open sinnes . (SMITH-E2-P1,36.278)
The next signe is the looke , (SMITH-E2-P1,36.279)
for Salomon saith , Wisedome is in the
face of a man : (SMITH-E2-P1,37.280)
so godlines is in the face of a man , (SMITH-E2-P1,37.281)
and so folly is in the face of a man , (SMITH-E2-P1,37.282)
and so wickednesse is in the face of a man . (SMITH-E2-P1,37.283)
And therefore it is sayd in Esaiah 3.9. The
triall of their countenance testifieth against them . As though
their looks could speake . (SMITH-E2-P1,37.284)
One saieth well , a modest man dwelles at the signe of a modest
countenance , and an honest woman dwelleth at the signe of an honest
face , which is like the gate of the temple that was called
Beautifull : shewing , that if the entrie be so beautifull ,
within is great beautie . (SMITH-E2-P1,37.285)
To shewe how a modest countenance , and womanly shamefastnesse , doo
commend a chast wife , it is obserued that the word Nuptiae
, which signifieth the Marriage of the woman , dooth declare
the manner of her Marriage : (SMITH-E2-P1,38.286)
for it importeth a couering , because the Virgins which should be
maried , whe~ they came to their husbands , for modestie and
shamefastnes did couer their faces : as wee reade of Rebeccah
, which so soone as she saw Isaac , and knewe
that hee should bee her husband , she cast a vaile before her face ,
shewing that modestie should be learned before Marriage , which is the
dowrie that God addeth to her portion . (SMITH-E2-P1,38.287)
The third signe is her speach , or rather her silence ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,38.288)
for the orname~t of a woman is silence : (SMITH-E2-P1,38.289)
and therefore the law was giuen to the man rather than to the woman ,
to shew that he should bee the teacher , and she the hearer .
(SMITH-E2-P1,38.290)
As the Eccho answereth but one word for manie which are spoken to her ;
so a maides answere should be a word , as though she sold her
breath . (SMITH-E2-P1,39.291)
The eye and the speach are the mindes Glasses ; (SMITH-E2-P1,39.292)
for out of the abundance of the heart saith
Christ the mouth speaketh : as though by the
speach we might know what aboundeth in the heart : (SMITH-E2-P1,39.293)
and therfore he saith , By thy words thou shalt bee iustified ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,39.294)
and by thy wordes thou shalt bee condemned .
(SMITH-E2-P1,39.295)
That is , thou shalt be iustified to bee wise , (SMITH-E2-P1,39.296)
or thou shalt be condemned to bee folish ; (SMITH-E2-P1,39.297)
thou shalt be iustified to be sober , (SMITH-E2-P1,39.298)
or thou shalt bee condemned to bee rash ; (SMITH-E2-P1,39.299)
thou shalt bee iustified to bee humble , (SMITH-E2-P1,39.300)
or thou shalt be condemned to be proud ; (SMITH-E2-P1,39.301)
thou shalt be iustified to be louing , (SMITH-E2-P1,39.302)
or thou shalt be condemned to be enuious . (SMITH-E2-P1,39.303)
Therefore Salomon saith , A fooles lips are a
snare to his owne soule . (SMITH-E2-P1,39.304)
Snares are made for other , (SMITH-E2-P1,39.305)
but this snare catcheth a mans selfe , because it bewraieth his
folly , and causeth his trouble , and bringeth him into discredite .
(SMITH-E2-P1,40.306)
Contrariwise , The heart of the wise saith
Salomon guideth his mouth wisely ,
(SMITH-E2-P1,40.307)
and the wordes of his mouth haue grace . (SMITH-E2-P1,40.308)
Now , to shewe that this should bee one marke in the choyce of thy Wife
, Salomon describing a right Wife , saith , She
openeth her mouth with wisedome , (SMITH-E2-P1,40.309)
& the lawe of grace is in her tongue . (SMITH-E2-P1,40.310)
As the open vessels were counted vncleane ; so account that the open
mouth hath much vncleannes . (SMITH-E2-P1,40.311)
The fourth signe is the apparel : (SMITH-E2-P1,40.312)
for as the pride of the Glutton is noted , in that he went in purple
euerie day ; so the humilitie of Iohn is noted in that
hee went in hairecloath euery day . (SMITH-E2-P1,40.313)
A modest woman is known by her sober attire , as the Prophet
Eliah was knowne by his rough garment . (SMITH-E2-P1,40.314)
Looke not for better within , than thou seest without ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,41.315)
for euery one seemeth better than hee is , (SMITH-E2-P1,41.316)
if the face bee vanitie , the heart is pride . (SMITH-E2-P1,41.317)
Hee which biddeth thee abstaine from the shewe of euill
, would haue thee to abstaine from~ those wiues which haue the shewes
of euill : (SMITH-E2-P1,41.318)
for it is hard to come in the fashion , & not be in the abuse .
(SMITH-E2-P1,41.319)
And therefore Paule saieth , Fashion not your
selues like vnto this world : as though the fashions of me~ did
declare of what side they are . (SMITH-E2-P1,41.320)
The fift signe is the companie : (SMITH-E2-P1,41.321)
for birds of a feather will flie together , (SMITH-E2-P1,41.322)
and fellowes in sinne will bee fellowes in league , as yong
Rehoboam chose young companions . (SMITH-E2-P1,41.323)
The tame beastes will not keep with the wild , nor the cleane with the
leprous . (SMITH-E2-P1,41.324)
If a man ca~ be known by nothing els , then he maye bee knowne
by his companions ; (SMITH-E2-P1,42.325)
for like will to like , (SMITH-E2-P1,42.326)
as Salomon saieth , theeues call one another .
(SMITH-E2-P1,42.327)
Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie , he sayd ,
Away from me al ye that work iniquitie . Shewing , that a man
neuer abandoneth euill , vntill hee abandon euill companie ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,42.328)
for no good is concluded in this parliament . (SMITH-E2-P1,42.329)
Therefore choose such a companio~ of thy life as hath chosen companie
like thee before : (SMITH-E2-P1,42.330)
for they which did choose such as loued prophane companio~s before , in
a while were drawne to be prophane too , that their wiues might loue
them . (SMITH-E2-P1,42.331)
When these rules are obserued , they may ioyne together and say , as
Laban and Bethuel said , This
commeth of the Lord , (SMITH-E2-P1,42.332)
therfore wee will not speake against it . (SMITH-E2-P1,42.333)
How happie are those in whome Faith , and Loue , and Godlinesse
are married together , before they marrie themselues ?
(SMITH-E2-P1,43.334)
For none of these Martiall , and clowdie , and whining Marriages can
saye that Godlinesse was inuited to their Bridall ;
(SMITH-E2-P1,43.335)
and therfore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse dooe flie
from them . (SMITH-E2-P1,43.336)
Now in this choice , are two questions . (SMITH-E2-P1,43.337)
First , whether children may marrie without their parents consent :
(SMITH-E2-P1,43.338)
and the second , whether they may marrie with Papists or Atheists , &c
. (SMITH-E2-P1,43.339)
Touching the first , God saith , Honour thy father and thy
mother . (SMITH-E2-P1,43.340)
Now , wherein canst thou honour them more , than in this honourable
action , to which they haue preserued thee , and brought thee vp ,
which concerneth the state of thy whole life ? (SMITH-E2-P1,43.341)
Againe , in the first institution of Mariage , when there was no Father
to giue consent , then our heauenly Father gaue his consent :
(SMITH-E2-P1,44.342)
God supplied this place of the Father , (SMITH-E2-P1,44.343)
& brought his Daughter vnto her Husband , (SMITH-E2-P1,44.344)
and euer since , the Father after the same manner , hath offred hys
Daughter vnto the Husband . (SMITH-E2-P1,44.345)
Beside , there is a Lawe , that if a man deflowre a Virgin , he shall
marrie her : (SMITH-E2-P1,44.346)
but if the Father of the Virgin do not like of the Mariage , then he
shall pay vnto her the dowrie of Virgins , that is , so much as her
Virginitie is esteemed , so that the Father might alow the Mariage , or
forbid it . (SMITH-E2-P1,44.347)
Againe , there is a Law , that if any free man , or free woma~ make a
vow , it must be kept . (SMITH-E2-P1,44.348)
But if a Virgin make a vow , it should not be kept , vnlesse her Father
approue it , because she is not free : (SMITH-E2-P1,44.349)
therefore if she did vow to marry , yet the Father hath power by
this Lawe to breake it . (SMITH-E2-P1,45.350)
Therefore the Lawe speaketh vnto the Father saying , Thou shalt
not take a Wife for thy sonne of straungers .
(SMITH-E2-P1,45.351)
Therefore Paule speaketh to the Father , If thou
giue thy daughter to mariage , thou doest well :
(SMITH-E2-P1,45.352)
therefore Iobs children are counted part of Iobs
substance , shewing , that as a man hath the disposition of his
owne substance , so he hath the disposition of his owne children .
(SMITH-E2-P1,45.353)
Therefore in Math. the Wife is sayd to be bestowed in
mariage , which signifieth , that some did giue her beside her selfe :
(SMITH-E2-P1,45.354)
Therefore it is said , that Iacob serued Laban
, that Laban might giue him his daughter to wife
. (SMITH-E2-P1,45.355)
Therefore Saule saith to Dauid , I will
giue thee my eldest daughter to wife : (SMITH-E2-P1,45.356)
therefore it is said , that Iudah tooke a wife to
Er his sonne . (SMITH-E2-P1,46.357)
Therefore Sichem saith to his Father , Get me this maide
to Wife . (SMITH-E2-P1,46.358)
Therefore in the mariage of Isaak , we see
Abrahams seruant in the place of Isaak , and
Rebeccah the maid and her parents , sitting in
parliament together : (SMITH-E2-P1,46.359)
therefore Sampson , though he had found a maid to his
liking , yet he would not take her to wife , before he had tould his
parents , and craued their assent . (SMITH-E2-P1,46.360)