<P_29>

This leane , greedy foole having a stomacke , and seeing the butler out
of the way , his appetite was such , as loath to tarry , breakes open
the dairy house , eats and spoils new cheesecurds , cheesecakes ,
ouerthrowes creame bowles , and having filled his belly , and knew he
had done euill , gets him gone to Mansfield in Sherwood , as one
fearefull to be at home . (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.2)

The maydes came home that morning from milking , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.3)

and finding such a masaker of their dairie , almost mad , thought a
yeere's wages could not make amends . (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.4)

But , O the foole ! leane Leonard , they cried , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.5)

he did this mischief : (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.6)

they complayned to their master , but to no purpose ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.7)

Leonard was farre enough off , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.8)

search was made for the foole , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.9)

but hee was gone , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.10)

none knew wither ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.11)

and it was his propertie , hauing done mischiefe , neuer to come home
of himselfe , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.12)

but if any one intreated him , he would easily be won .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.13)

All this while the foole was at Mansfield in Sherwood ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.14)

and stood gaping at a shoomaker's stall ; who , not knowing him , asked
him what he was ? (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.15)

Goe looke , sayes hee : (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.16)

I know not myselfe . (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.17)

They asked him where hee was borne ? (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.18)

At my mother's backe , sayes hee . (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.19)

In what country ? quoth they . (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.20)

In the country , quoth hee , where God is a good man .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.21)

At last one of these journeymen imagined he was not very wise ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.22)

and flouted him very merrily , asking him if he would haue a stitch
where there was a hole ? <paren> meaning his mouth </paren> .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.23)

I , quoth the foole , if your nose may be the needle .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,29.24)

The shoomaker could have found in his heart to have tooke measure on
his pate with a last , instead of his foote , (ARMIN-E2-P2,29.25)

but let him goe as <P_30> he was . (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.26)

A country plow-jogger being by , noting all this , secretly stole a
peice of shoomaker's waxe off the stall , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.27)

and coming behinde him , clapt him on the head , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.28)

and asked him how he did ? (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.29)

The foole , seeing the pitch ball , pulled to haue it off ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.30)

but could not but with much paine , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.31)

in an enuious spleene , smarting ripe runes after him ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.32)

fals at fistie cuffes with him ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.33)

but the fellow belaboured the foole cunningly , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.34)

and got the foole's head under his arme , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.35)

and bob'd his nose . (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.36)

The foole , remembring how his head was , strikes it up ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.37)

and hits the fellowe's mouth with the pitcht place , so that the haire
of his head and the haire of the clowne's beard were glued together .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.38)

The fellow cryed , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.39)

the foole exclaimed , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.40)

and could not sodainely part : (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.41)

in the end , the people <paren> after much laughing at the jest
</paren> let them part faire ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.42)

the one went to picke his beard , the other his head .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.43)

The constable came , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.44)

askt the cause of their falling out , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.45)

and knowing one to be Leonard , the leane foole , whom he had a warrant
from the gentleman to search for , demands of the fellow how it hapned
. (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.46)

The fellow hee could answere nothing , but um ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.47)

um , quoth hee againe , meaning hee would tell him all when his mouth
was cleane ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.48)

but the constable thinking hee was mockt , clapt him in the stocks ,
where the fellow sat a long houre farming his mouth ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.49)

and when hee had done , and might tell his griefe , the constable was
gone to carry home Leonard to his maister , who , not at home , hee was
enforced to stay supper-time , where hee told the gentleman the jest ,
who was very merrie to heare the story , contented the officer , and
bad him set the fellow at liberty , who , betimes in the morning , was
found fast asleepe in the stocks . (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.50)

The fellow knowing himselfe faulty , put up his wrongs ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.51)

quickly departed , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.52)

and went to work betimes that morning with a flea in his eare .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,30.53)

The gentleman with whom this Leonard dwelt , having bought a goodly
fayre hawke , brought her home , being not a little proud of his
penny-worth , (ARMIN-E2-P2,30.54)

and at supper to other gentlemen fell a praysing of her , who ,
soothing up his humour , likewise fayled not to adde a toarch of fire
to encrease more <P_31> flame ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.55)

for indeede the bird was worthy of commendations , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.56)

and therefore did merit prayses . (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.57)

Leonard standing by with his finger in his mouth , as it was his
custome , after hearing them praise the goodnesse of the hawke ,
thought indeede they had meant for goodnesse , being farre better meate
then a turkey or a swan , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.58)

was very desirous to eate of the same ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.59)

and unknowne goes downe , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.60)

and sodainely from the pearch snatcht the hawke , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.61)

and hauing wrung off her neck , begins to besiedge that good morsell ,
but with so good a courage , that the feathers had almost choakt him ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,31.62)

but there lay my friend Leonard in a lamentable taking .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,31.63)

Well , the hawke was mist , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.64)

and the deede was found : (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.65)

the maister was fetcht , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.66)

and all men might see the hawke , feathers and all , not very well
digested . (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.67)

There was no boote to bid runne for drams to driue down this undigested
moddicombe ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.68)

the gentleman of the one side cryed , hang the foole !
(ARMIN-E2-P2,31.69)

the foole on the other side cryed not , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.70)

but made signes that his hawke was not so good as hee did praise her
for ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.71)

and , though the gentleman loued his hawke , yet he loued the foole
aboue , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.72)

being enforced rather to laugh at his simplicitie , then to vere at his
losses sodainely - being glad to make himselfe merry , jested on it
ever after . Upon whose hawke a gentleman of his very wisely writ these
lynes , and gaue unto his maister . (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.73)

{COM:verse_omitted}

The gentleman laughed at this rime , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.75)

yet knew not whether more foole he for writing , the other for eating ,
or he for loosing . (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.76)

Well , putting the hare to the goose-giblets , seeing there was no
remedy , made himselfe pastime , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.77)

pleased himselfe , (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.78)

and did rest contented . (ARMIN-E2-P2,31.79)

He that mischiefes many , sometime wrongs himselfe , as <P_32> hearken
to this jest . (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.80)

Leonard of all things loued his wheele-barrow , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.81)

and would worke all day , and carry dung in it , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.82)

yet would sleepe in it at night - (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.83)

he would set up meate for his belly in it - (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.84)

I , what did hee without it . (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.85)

Once at a Christmas time , when the fire in the hall was full , Leonard
was sore a cold : (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.86)

hee got coles out of the scullery , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.87)

and put them into his barrow , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.88)

and set them on fire , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.89)

and so sate him downe to warme him , quite forgetting it was made of
wood , and wood would burne : (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.90)

so , in the end , being warme , goes for a jacke of beere ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.91)

brings it , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.92)

and sets it on the fire to warme , so that the inside melted ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.93)

and hee dranckt the drinck notwithstanding ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.94)

but , on the sodaine , he seeing the wheele-barrow flame that he so
loued , aloud hee cryes , Dmee ! dmee ! dmee ! (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.95)

and takes it up flaming , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.96)

and trundles it into the hall , among the people , to shew .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.97)

The young men and maydes tumbled over one another for feare :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.98)

some had their faces burned , others their leges ; the maydes their
smocks - (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.99)

yea , one set fire on another , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.100)

for their aprons burned , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.101)

and being many people , the flame increased rather then decreased .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.102)

Leonard , seeing none would helpe him , runs <paren> for feare lest the
gentleman should know it </paren> (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.103)

and thrusts it into the barne to hide it , which some seeing , runs
after , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.104)

and , had they not come at that time , the hay and straw had beene all
burnt , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.105)

for it was already of a light fire , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.106)

but being quencht out all was well . (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.107)

Such is the enuie of fooles , who , seeing none would helpe him ,
thought to doe them mischiefe , which he did , but not much .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.108)

The World laughed a good at these jests , though , to say sooth , shee
could hardly afford it , for feare of writhing her sweet fauour ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.109)

yet strayning courtesy in this kinde , did , as our wantons doe at a
feast , spare for manners in company , but alone cram most greedily .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.110)

So shee , forgetting modesty , gapte out a laughter ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.111)

and , like women hardly wonne , cryd More ! more ! (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.112)

The currish crittick said shee should , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.113)

and gaue her the third pennerth of the morral , (ARMIN-E2-P2,32.114)

and said : You laugh at leane enuie in a long foole ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,32.115)

but you have cause to weepe at long <P_33> enuie in a leane age , as
you liue in . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.116)

This foole cries out not all mine , (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.117)

but distributes like a kinde companion , being a superficiall glasse to
gaze in . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.118)

There be leane fooles as well as fat : (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.119)

such are they whose noses dropes necessitie , (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.120)

and they smell out for church lands , many tenements , onthrifts ,
surfets , looking leanely on all this , (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.121)

but feede fatly on hope . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.122)

This fatnesse goes to the heart , not seene in the visage .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,33.123)

These seeme simple , (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.124)

but , like Leonard , hit home at advantage : (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.125)

they can stop men's mouths , and seale them up in advantage , and giue
the stocks to the simple deseruer , when themselves are not blamlesse .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,33.126)

O ! (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.127)

beware when you see a long , meagre looke ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.128)

search him - (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.129)

he hath also long , reaching fingers , (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.130)

and can slide a groat by himselfe , as Leonard did , fall out , curse ,
sweare , and batter heauen itselfe with humour of folly .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,33.131)

Such was the leane-neckt crane , who had the fat foxe to dinner ,
making him lick the outside of the glasse , while his leannesse fed
within . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.132)

You understand me , maddame : (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.133)

such are your landlords to the poore , youre leane lords to the fat
tennant , or by a figure one for the other . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.134)

Thus they batten heere ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.135)

but the diuell will gnaw their bones for it . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.136)

By the third jest we observe a greedinesse in leane folly , that , so
good a report come in their way , these eat up hawke , feathers , and
all , to put it by , though they choake in the deede .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,33.137)

Hereupon comes in leane enuy , (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.138)

swallowes fat bits - I mean honest manners - (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.139)

and makes them sterril of all good manners , as the lawyer the poore
clyant's plow pence , the cittie the country commodities ; that , under
the spew of leannesse , they fat themselves to the ribs - good hold for
flesh hookes at the general waste . (ARMIN-E2-P2,33.140)

By the fourth and last <paren> I would it were least </paren> it
bewrayes a curious and common leannesse in lewd liuers , who , to
revenge on others , will fire their own wheelebarrow .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,33.141)

Like the leane tennant , who , falling out with his landlord , and
seeing his neighbour's house on fire , desired his neighbours to pull
downe his first , for feare of more danger ; not that he louede his
neighbour's safety and his owne , but that <P_34> hee hated his
landlord : (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.142)

or the contrary , couetous of their owne commoditie , fire themselues ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,34.143)

and , because they will not burn alone , endanger their friends ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,34.144)

and say $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} kind to have company . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.145)

These are fooles , indeed , leane ones ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.146)

these are fat and foule , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.147)

and make thicke doings for the diuel's dyet . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.148)

World , I name them not ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.149)

thou knowest them well enough . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.150)

At this shee bit her lip , knowing some that were leane Leonards in
this ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.151)

but kay me (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.152)

$I $'ll {TEXT:Ile} kay thee : (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.153)

giue me an inch to day , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.154)

$I $'ll {TEXT:Ile} giue thee an ell to-morrow , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.155)

and $we $'ll {TEXT:weele} to hell together . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.156)

The World , dimpling her chin with meere modestie , as it were throwing
off variety of squemish nicetie , began to say , Sooth , thou saist
true , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.157)

there are such nicks in mee , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.158)

but I know not how to mende : (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.159)

I am willing , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.160)

but flesh is weake ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.161)

$pray $thee {TEXT:prethee} be more sparing , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.162)

carpe not , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.163)

confound not , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.164)

hope the best amendment may come . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.165)

$Pray $thee {TEXT:Prethee} goe in , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.166)

furnish thy sallet : (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.167)

these hearbs already are sauory , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.168)

and I picke out to my appetite ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.169)

and though I bee not altogether pleased , yet am I not quite past
patience : (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.170)

I will endure , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.171)

for that disease that festers so much receives cure gladly , though it
come with exceeding paine , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.172)

yet so much the profit by how much the perplexities , cries cure to the
danger . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.173)

Mistris , sayes Sotto , I am glad to sit so neare you ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,34.174)

and to bee thought a kinde neighbour , too , is more then the world
affords . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.175)

But looke , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.176)

who is heere we have ? (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.177)

we haue fellowde one with our flat , and fat foole disturbd by the
leane . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.178)

Now , as in a history we mingle mirth with matter , to make a please
plaister for melancholy , so in our glasse we present to the leane a
cleane . One that was more beloued among ladyes than thought can hatch
, or opinion produce . (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.179)

His name is Jack Miller : (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.180)

he liues yet ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.181)

and hath beene in this citie within few dayes , (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.182)

and giue me leaue to describe him thus - (ARMIN-E2-P2,34.183)

{COM:verse_omitted}

<P_35>

Alas ! quoth the World , (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.186)

I am sorry , trust me , that one so outwardly well should bee so
inwardly ill , and haue that appearance in nastie defect , which of
itselfe is neate ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.187)

but go on with the repetition , since wee are mended in the condition .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,35.188)

Wee will winck at small faults , tho wee yeelde it greate in nature .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,35.189)

Nemo sine crimine , and so forth . (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.190)

I , quoth Sotto , (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.191)

say yee me so ? (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.192)

haue at him then , (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.193)

out it goes , (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.194)

but mark it well . (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.195)

In a gentleman's house where Jack Miller resorted , as he was welcome
to all , it chanced so there was a play , (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.196)

the players dressed them in the gentleman's kitchen ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,35.197)

and so entered through the entry into the hall . (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.198)

It was after dinner , when pyes stood in the oven to coole for supper :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,35.199)

Jack had not dyned , (ARMIN-E2-P2,35.200)

and seeing the oven stand open , and so many pyes there untold ,
<paren> hee thought because they seemed numberlesse </paren> O ! sayes
<P_36> Jack , for one of them p - p - pyes , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.201)

for so hee stammered in speaking . (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.202)

The players boy being by , and in his ladyes gowne , could haue found
in his heart to creepe in , cloathes and all ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.203)

but he perswaded Jack to do so , to which hee was willing ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.204)

and very nimbly thrusts his head into the hot oven , which being newly
opened , on the sodaine hee was singed both-2 of head and face , and
almost not a hayre left on his eye-brows or beard .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.205)

Jack cryes , O ! I burne , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.206)

and had not the wit to come back , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.207)

but lay still : (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.208)

the gentlewoman-boy tooke him by the heeles , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.209)

and pulled him out , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.210)

but how he lookt I pray you judge that can discerne fauours .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.211)

Jack was in a bad taking with his face , poore soule ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.212)

and lookt so ugly and so strangely , that the lady of the play , being
ready to enter before the gentiles to play her part , no sooner began ,
but , remembring Jack , laught out , and could goe no further .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.213)

The gentleman mused at what hee laught , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.214)

but such a jest being easily seene , was told the gentleman , who sent
in for Jack Miller , who came like bald Time , to tell them time was
past of his hayre : (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.215)

but hee so strangely lookt , as his countenance was better then the
play . (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.216)

But against night the players dress themselves in another place ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.217)

and at supper Jack Miller sang his song of Dirryes Faire , with a barmy
face to take out the fire , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.218)

and lookt like the poter of the ale-fat . (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.219)

It was no boote to bid him stut and stammer , poore foole :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.220)

as cleane as he was , hee was now but beastly faced ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.221)

for hee looked like a man that , being ashamed to shew his face , had
hid it in a dry lome wall , and pulling it out againe left all the
hayre behinde him . (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.222)

Jack , on Newyeeres day in the morning , was to carry a Newyeeres gift
to a gentleman a myle off , (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.223)

and as he staid to have it delivered him to beare , asked which was the
cleanest way thither . (ARMIN-E2-P2,36.224)

A fellow , knowing his cleanlinesse , sends him over a durty marsh ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.225)

and so hee folded up his band <paren> then cleane </paren> for fouling
, that at the gentleman's doore he might put it on .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.226)

The present came , which Jack seeing , made legs to the gentlewoman ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,36.227)

forgetting his band was in his hose , carried <P_37> a stif neck to and
fro to the gentlewoman , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.228)

and what ere she spake , or where shee stood , Jack would look but one
way , as though his neck had been starcht . (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.229)

And , remember , saies the gentlewoman , you abuse not my message , nor
my gift : (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.230)

No , fo , fo , forsooth , sayes Jack ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.231)

and away he goes , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.232)

and thought hee would see what it was , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.233)

and , as hee went he lift up the basket lid (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.234)

and lookt . (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.235)

Ah , ha ! quoth Jack , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.236)

I see it is almond bu- , bu- , butter . (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.237)

Along he goes , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.238)

and seeing the marsh wet and durty , thought to leape a little ditch ,
and so to goe a cleane hie way , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.239)

but <paren> O ! poor Jack </paren> hee , basket and all , lay in the
midst of the ditch up to his arme-pits in mud ; which , Jack seeing ,
got out , and goes to a riuer by , and washes himselfe first , his band
next ; where , if it had been about his neck as it should , it had
labour well saued : (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.240)

but he washt his almond butter so long , that the butter was washt away
, which hee perceiving , in that woefull taking comes back , and called
for more bu- , bu- , butter . (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.241)

The gentlewoman seeing how things went , rather laught then vext ,
because shee was so simple to trust a foole with matters of trust ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,37.242)

and bad him get him to the fire and dry him ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.243)

and said next time she would stay her seruants leisure , <paren> who
then were abroad </paren> rather then trust to a rotten staffe .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,37.244)

Thus cleane fooles light still on beastly bargaines .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,37.245)

In the towne of Esam , in Worstersh. , Jack Miller being there borne ,
was made much of in every place . (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.246)

It hapned that the Lord Shandoye's players came to towne and played
there ; which Jack not a little loved , especially the clowne , whom he
would embrace with a joyful spirit , and call him Grumball ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,37.247)

for so he called himselfe in gentleman's houses , where hee would
imitate playes , being all himselfe king , gentleman , clowne , and all
: (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.248)

hauing spoke for one , he would sodainely goe in , and againe return
for the other ; and , stammering as he did , make much mirth :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,37.249)

to conclude , he was a right innocent , without any villany at all .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,37.250)

When these players I speake of had done in the towne , they went to
Partiar , (ARMIN-E2-P2,37.251)

and Jack said he would goe all the world over <P_38> with Grumbal .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.252)

It was then a great frost new begun , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.253)

and the hauen was frozen over thinely ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.254)

but heere is the wonder , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.255)

the gentleman that kept the Hart , <paren> an inne in the towne
</paren> whose backside looked to the way that led to the riuer-side to
Partiar , lockt up Jack in a chamber next the hauen , where he might
see the players passe by ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.256)

and they of the towne , loth to lose his company , desirued to have it
so ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.257)

but hee , I say , seeing them goe by , creepes through the window ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.258)

and said , I come to thee , Grumball . (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.259)

The players stood all still to see further . (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.260)

He got down very dangerously , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.261)

and makes no more adoe , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.262)

but venters over the hauen , which is by the long bridge , and , as I
guess , some forty yards ouer ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.263)

yet he made nothing of it , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.264)

but my hart aked when my eares heard the ise crack all the way .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.265)

When hee was come unto me I was amazed , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.266)

and tooke up a brick-bat <paren> which lay there by </paren>
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.267)

and threw it , which no sooner fell on the ise , but it burst .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.268)

Was not this strange , that a foole of thirty yeares was borne of that
ise which would not endure the fall of a brick-bat ?
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.269)

but euery one rated him for the deede , telling him of the daunger .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.270)

He considered his fault , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.271)

and , knowing faults should be punished , he intreated Grumball the
clowne , who hee so deerely loued , to whip him but with rosemary ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.272)

for that he thought would not smart . (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.273)

But the players in jest breecht him till the bloud came , which he
tooke laughing , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.274)

for it was his manner euer to weepe in kindnesse , and laugh in
extreames . (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.275)

That this is true mine eies were witnesses , being then by .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,38.276)

Jack Miller , welcomed to all places , and bard of none , came to a
gentleman , who being at dinner requested him for mirth to make him a
play , which he did , and to sing Derries Faire , which was in this
manner . (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.277)

First it is to be notted , hee strutted hugely , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.278)

and could neyther-1 pronounce b nor p. , (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.279)

and thus he began . (ARMIN-E2-P2,38.280)

{COM:verse_omitted}

<P_39>

And so forward ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.283)

but the jest was to heare him pronounce braue beggars ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,39.284)

and his qualitie was , after hee began his song , no laughing could put
him out of it . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.285)

One standing by , noting his humour that b and p plagued him , bad him
say this after him , which Jack said he would doe : Buy any flawre ,
pasties , pudding pyes , plum pottage , or pes-cods .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,39.286)

O ! it was death to Jack to doe it ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.287)

but like a willing foole he fell to it . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.288)

Buy any , (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.289)

buy any fla- , flaw- , p- , p- , p- , pasties , and p- , p- , p- ,
pudding p- , p- , p- , pyes , p- , p - p- , &c . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.290)

And euer as hee hit the on word , hee would pat with his finger on the
other hand , that more and more it would make a man burst with laughing
almost to see his action : (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.291)

sometime he would be pronouncing one word , while one might goe to the
doore and come againe . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.292)

But euer after gentiles would request him to speake that , where before
, Derryes fayre was all his song . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.293)

He came not long after <paren> to this I am witness , because my eares
heard it </paren> to a gentleman's not far from Upton upon Seuerne , in
Gloxester-shire , where at the table among many gallants and
gentlewomen , <paren> almost the state of the country </paren> hee was
to jest and sing : (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.294)

especially they intreated him for his new speech of the pees , which he
began in such manner to speake with driuelling and stuttering , that
they began mightely to laugh ; insomuch , that one proper gentlewomen
among the rest , because shee would not seeme too immodest with
laughing , for such is the humour of many , that thinke to make all ,
when God knows they marre all : so she , straining herself , though
inwardly she laughed heartily , gave out such an earnest of her modesty
, that all the table rung of it . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.295)

Who is that ? says one : (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.296)

not I , says another ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.297)

but by her cheeks you might find guilty Gilbert , where he had hid the
brush . (ARMIN-E2-P2,39.298)

This jest made them laugh more , and the rayther that shee stood upon
her marriage , and disdained all the gallants there , who so heartily
laught ; that an old gentlewoman at the table took such a conceit at it
with laughing , that , had not the foole bin <P_40> which stood <paren>
by fortune </paren> at her back , and was her supporter , being in a
great swound , she had fallen to the ground backward .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.299)

But downe they burst the windows for ayre , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.300)

and there was no little boot to bid ront : (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.301)

shee was nine or ten dayes ere she recovered that fit on my knowledge .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.302)

Thus simple Jack made mirth to all , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.303)

made the wisest laugh , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.304)

but to this gathered little wit to himselfe . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.305)

This , quoth the World , is mere mirth without mischiefe ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.306)

and I allow of it : (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.307)

folly without faults , is as reddish without salt ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.308)

may passe in digestion one without the other , and doe better , where
both together engenders but rheume , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.309)

and mirth does well in any . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.310)

I , sayes Sotto , so way you not the true waight : (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.311)

as it is sufferable to be whole , so it is saluable to be hurt ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.312)

and one to the other giues ayme ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.313)

but $to bee neither is monstrous . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.314)

I would faine morrall of it , if you please . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.315)

Leave was granted , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.316)

for the World knew it would else be commanded , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.317)

and Sotto thus poynts at the parable . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.318)

By the first merry emblem I reach at stars , how they fire themselves
in the firmament : (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.319)

whether it bee sitting to neere the sunne in the day , or couching to
neere the moone in the night , I know not ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.320)

but the hayre of their happynesse often fals off , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.321)

and shoots from a blazing commet to a falne star , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.322)

and carries no more light then is to be seene in the bottome of
Platoe's inck-horne ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.323)

and , where they should study in private with Diogenes in his cell ,
they are with Cornelius in his tub . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.324)

By the second , the cleane fooles of this world are pattern'd , who so
neately stand upon their ruffes , and shoeties , that the braine is now
lodged in the foote ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.325)

and thereupon comes it that many make their head their foote , and
employment is the drudge to prodigalitee , made sawcie through the mud
of their owne minds , where they so often stick fast , that Bankes ,
his horse , with all his strength and cunning , $can $not {TEXT:cannot}
draw them out . (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.326)

By the third is figured saucie adventure in folly ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.327)

for wisdome puts no $forwarder then warrant , (ARMIN-E2-P2,40.328)

and for pleasure the wisest make themselves fooles .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,40.329)

<P_41>

To conclude this foolish description of the fourth , many sing out
their tunes , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.331)

and like ideots true borne , confound with folly what was created more
holy , shutting out trifles that out method matter of more waight ,
where nisetie herselfe will let goe in laughter , though she spoyle her
marriage . (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.332)

The World likte not this well , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.333)

but bit the lip againe , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.334)

but as rich men suffer wrongs for advantage , took her pennerth's
together , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.335)

casts her eye aside , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.336)

and sees a comely foole indeed passing more stately ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,41.337)

and , who was this ? (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.338)

forsooth , Wil. Sommers , one not meanly esteemed by the king for his
merriment : (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.339)

his mellody was of a higher straine , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.340)

and he lookt as the noone broade waking . (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.341)

His description was writ in his fore-head , (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.342)

and yee might read it thus : - (ARMIN-E2-P2,41.343)

{COM:verse_omitted}

<P_42>

The World was in loue with this merry foole , (ARMIN-E2-P2,42.346)

and said he was fit to the time indeede , (ARMIN-E2-P2,42.347)

and therefore deserued to be well regarded . Insomuch as shee longed to
heare his friscoes morralized , and his gambals set downe .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,42.348)

And Sotto as willingly goes forward thus . (ARMIN-E2-P2,42.349)

{COM:insert_helsinki_sample_2_here}

<P_48>

Now , Lady World , saies Sotto ; you wonder at this first jest :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.352)

do not ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.353)

$'t $is {TEXT:'tis} common , (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.354)

for who so simple that , being gorged with broth themselues , will not
giue their friends one spoonful , especially our kinne .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.355)

O weell to make them great , make ourselues , and pollitikly rise
againe by their greatness . (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.356)

But hee was simple in that ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.357)

for though hee raised many , hee himselfe stood at one stay .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.358)

But the deed is not common , (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.359)

therefore may fitly be termed a fooles deed , since the wise meddle not
with it , unlesse to plunge further in , and winde from povertie .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.360)

But leaue it the greatest power of all to remedie and reuenge , while
earthly majestie grows great by adding libertie to their afflictions ,
as in our commons of late , God preserue him for it .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.361)

By the second morally signification giues this ; that fooles questions
reach to mirth , leading wisdome by the hand , as age leads children by
one finger , (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.362)

and though it holds not fast in wisdome , yet it points at it .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.363)

Better so then the wise to put questions to fooles ;
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.364)

for $that $'s {TEXT:that's} to put money out of the bag , and leaue the
money behinde to bad use , while themselues beg with the bag .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,48.365)

Such , like Will Sommers , sleepe amongst dogs . (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.366)

The third bids us charitably learne of simplicitie to pay our debts
when the poore creditor cals for it ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.367)

but $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} a generall fault , (ARMIN-E2-P2,48.368)

and such who haue doores shut , whereat the poore stand , shal find
gates fast whereat <P_49> themselues may not enter ; but especially we
of the laity , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.369)

for while the pastor cherishes the soule , we seeke to starve the body
; (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.370)

but $let $'s {TEXT:let's} be mindfull least decaying one we lose both .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,49.371)

O ! the World could not indure this , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.372)

but offered to fling away . (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.373)

Nay , nay , saies the cinnick ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.374)

soft and faire - a word or too more : (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.375)

and , halfe angry , looking into his glasse , sees one all in blew ,
carrying his neck on the one side , looking sharply , drawing the leg
after him in a strange manner , described in meeter thus :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,49.376)

{COM:verse_omitted}

This is singular , indeede , sayes the World : (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.378)

I long to heere of this dry , poore John . (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.379)

His name is John , indeede , saies the cinnick ; but neither John a
nods , nor John a dreames , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.380)

yet either as you take it , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.381)

for he is simply simple without tricks , not sophisticated like your
tobacco to tast strong , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.382)

but as nature aloud him he had his talent . (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.383)

Whereat the World so tickled her spleene that she was agog , $clapped
her hands for joy , and saies she was deepely satisfied , and cryed
more . (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.384)

The crooked stick of liqurish that gaue this sweet relish , being to
set his teeth to it , wipes his rheumy beard , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.385)

and smites his philosophical nose , (ARMIN-E2-P2,49.386)

<P_50>

snapping his fingers , barber-like after a dry shauing , jogs on thus :
(ARMIN-E2-P2,50.388)

This innocent ideot , that neuer harmed any , before I enter $any
$further {TEXT:tany_furher} , I will let you understand in too words ,
how he came to be of the hospital of Christschurch .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,50.389)

Some certaine yeers since <paren> but not a few yeers </paren> there
dwelt a poore blinde woman in Bow-lane , in London , called by the name
of blinde Alice , who had this foole of a child to lead her ; in whose
house he would sit eyther on the stayres , or in a corner , and sing
psalms , or preach to himselfe of Peter and Paul , because he delighted
to goe to sermons with blinde Alice , and heard the preacher talk of
them . (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.390)

It chanced the Worshipfull of the Citty <paren> good benefactours to
the poore </paren> to take her into Christ's hospital , with whom John
went as a guide to lead her : who being old , after shee dyed , hee was
to bee turned out of doore ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.391)

but the Citty , more desirous to pitty then to be cruell , placed him
as a fostred fatherless child , (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.392)

and they did wel in it too , seeing hee was one of God's creatures ,
though some difference in persons . (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.393)

Well , to goe forward in what I promised you : John went to St. Paul's
church , in London , to meet with B. Nowell , the deane , whose bounty
to him was great ; and the foole knew it well enough , whom he would
duly attend after his preaching , (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.394)

for euer at their meeting he gaue them a groat , (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.395)

and hee would bring it to his nurse . (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.396)

Well , B. Deane preached not that day ; whereupon John stands in a
corner , with boyes flocking about him , and begins to preach himselfe
, holding up his muckender for his booke , and reads his text .
(ARMIN-E2-P2,50.397)

It is written , saies he , in the 3 chapter of Paule to the Corinthians
. Brethren , you must not sweare <paren> for that was lightly all his
text </paren> : (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.398)

then thus he begins , Wheras or wherunto it is written ; for because
you must belieue it ; (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.399)

for surely else we are no Christians . (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.400)

Write the sermon <paren> boy </paren> saies hee <paren> as the hospital
boyes doe </paren> (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.401)

and then one must write on his hand with his finger ,
(ARMIN-E2-P2,50.402)

and then he would goe forward thus . (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.403)

The world is proud , (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.404)

and God is angry if wee do not repent . (ARMIN-E2-P2,50.405)