Nature and Religion are the bands
of Friendships ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,14.2)
Excellencie and Usefulnesse are its great
Indearments : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,14.3)
Society and Neighbourhood , that is , the
possibilities and the circumstances of converse are the
Determinations and actualities of it .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.4)
Now when men either are unnatural , or Irreligious , they will
not be friends ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.5)
when they are neither Excellent nor Usefull , they are not
worthy to be friends ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.6)
when they are strangers or unknown , they $can $not
{TEXT:cannot} be friends actually and practically ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.7)
but yet , as any man hath any thing of the good , contrary to those
evils , so he can have and must have his share of Friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.8)
For thus the Sun is the eye of the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.9)
and he is indifferent to the Negro , or the cold Russian , to them that
stand near the Tropicks , the scalded Indian , or the poor boy that
shakes at the foot of the Peiphean hills ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,15.10)
but the fluxures of the heaven & the earth , the conveniency of abode ,
and the approches to the North or South respectively change the
emannations of his beams ; not that they do not pass alwaies fro~ him ,
but that they are not equally received below ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.11)
but by periods and changes , by little inlets and reflections , they
receive what they can ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.12)
and some have onely a dark day and a long night from him , snowes and
white cattle , a miserable life & a perpetual harvest of Catarrhes and
consumptions ; apoplexies and dead palsies , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.13)
but some have splendid fires , and aromaticke spices , rich wines , and
well digested fruits , great wit and great courage ; because they dwell
in his eye , and look in his face , and are the courtiers of the Sun ,
and wait upon him in his Chambers $of {TEXT:of_of} the East ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.14)
just so is it in friendships : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.15)
some are worthy , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.16)
and some are necessary ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.17)
some dwell hard by (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,16.18)
and are fitted for converse ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.20)
Nature joyns some to us , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.21)
and Religion combines us with others ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.22)
society and accidents , parity of fortune , and equal dispositions do
actuate our friendships : which of themselves and in their prime
dispositions are prepared for all Mankind according as any one can
receive them . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.23)
We see this best exemplified by instances and expressions of
freindships and charity : viz. Almes and Prayers
; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.24)
Every one that needs relief is equally the object of our charity ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.25)
yet we signifie this severally and by limits , and distinct measures :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.26)
the poor man that is neer me , he whom I meet , he whom I love , he
whom I fancy , he who did me benefit , he who relates to my family ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,17.27)
he rather then another , because my expressions being finite and
narrow , and $can $not {TEXT:cannot} extend to all in equal
significations , must be appropriate to those whose circumstances best
fit me : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.28)
and yet even to all I give my alms : to all the world that needs them ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.29)
I pray for all mankind , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.30)
I am greived at every sad story I hear ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.31)
I am troubled when I hear of a pretty Bride murdered in her
bridechamber by an ambitious and enrag'd Rival ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.32)
I shed a tear when I am told that a brave King was mis-understood ,
then slandered , then imprisoned , and then put to death by evil men :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.33)
and I can never read the story of the Parisian Massacre or the Sicilian
Vespers , but my blood curdles , and I am disordered by two or three
affections . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.34)
A good man is a friend to all the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,18.35)
& he is not truly charitable that doth not wish well , and doe
good to all mankind in what they can ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,19.36)
but though wee must pray for all men , yet we say special Letanies for
brave Kings and holy Prelates , and the wise Guides of Souls ; for our
Brethren and Relations , our Wives and Children .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,19.37)
The effect of this consideration is , that the Universal Friendship of
which I speak , must be limited , because we are
so : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,19.38)
In those things where we stand next to Immensity and Infinity , as in
good wishes and prayers , and a readinesse to benefit
all Mankind , in these our Friendships must not be limitted ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,19.39)
but in other things which passe under our hand and eye , our voices and
our material exchanges ; our hands can reach no further but to our arms
end , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,19.40)
and our voices can but sound till the next ayre be quiet ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.41)
and therefore they can have entercourse but within the sphere of their
own activity ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.42)
our needs and our conversations are served by a few ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.43)
and they $can $not {TEXT:cannot} reach to all ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.44)
where they can , they must ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.45)
but where it is impossible it $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be
necessary . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.46)
It must therefore follow , that our Friendships to Mankind may admit
variety as doth our coversation ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.47)
and as by nature we are made sociable to all , so we are
friendly ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.48)
but as all $can $not {TEXT:cannot} actually be of our society , so
neither can all be admitted to a special , actual Friendship ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.49)
Of some entercourses all men are capable , but
not of all ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.50)
Men can pray for one another , and abstain from doing injuries to all
the world , and be desirous to do all Mankind good , and love all Men ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,20.51)
Now this Friendship we must pay to all because we can ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.52)
but if we can do no more to all , we must shew our readinesse to do
more good to all by actually doing more good to all them to whom we can
{COM:no_period_in_text} (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.53)
To some we can , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.54)
and therefore there are nearer Friendships to some then to others ,
according as there are natural or civil nearnesses , relations and
societies ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.55)
and as I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} expresse my Friendships to all in
equall measures and significations , that is , as I $can $not
{TEXT:cannot} do benefits to all alike : so neither am I tyed to love
all alike : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.56)
for although there is much reason to love every man ; yet there are
more reasons to love some then others , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.57)
and if I must love because there is reason I should ; then I must
love more , where there is more reason ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,21.58)
and where there is a special affection and a great readiness to
do good , and to delight in certain persons towards each other , there
is that special Charity and Indearment which Philosophy calls
Friendships ; but our Religion calls Love or
Charity . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,22.59)
Now if the inquiry be concerning this speciall Friendship . 1.
How it can be appropriate , that is , who to be chosen to it ;
2. How far it may extend ; that is , with what
expressions signified ; 3. How conducted ? The answers
will depend upon such considerations which will be neither useless nor
unpleasant . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,22.60)
1 . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,22.61)
There may be a speciall Friendship contracted for any speciall
excellency whatsoever ; because Friendships are nothing but Love
and Society mixt together ; that is , a conversing with
them whom we love ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,22.62)
now for whatsoever we can love any one , for that we can be his
friend ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,23.63)
and since every excellency is a degree of amability , every such
worthiness is a just and proper motive of friendship , or loving
conversation . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,23.64)
But yet in these things there is an order and proportion .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,23.65)
Therefore 2. A Good man is the best friend , and therefore soonest to
be chosen , longer to be retain'd ; and indeed never to be parted with
; unless he cease to be that for which he was chosen .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,23.66)
{COM:greek_and_verse_omitted}
But although vertue alone is the worthiest cause of amability ,
and can weigh down any one consideration ; and therefore to a man that
is vertuous every man ought to be a friend ; yet I do not mean the
severe , and philosophical excellences of some morose persons who are
indeed wise unto themselves and exemplar to others ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.68)
by vertue here I do not mean justice and
temperance , charity and devotion ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.69)
for these I am to love the man , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.70)
but friendship is something more then that : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.71)
friendship is the nearest love and the nearest society
of which the persons are capable : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.72)
Now justice is a good entercourse for Merchants , as all men are that
buy , and sell ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.73)
and temperance makes a man good company , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.74)
and helps to make a wise man ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.75)
but a perfect friendship requires something else ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,24.76)
these must be in him that is chosen to be my friend ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.77)
but for these I do not make him my privado ; that is ,
my special and peculiar friend : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.78)
but if he be a good man , then he is properly fitted to
be my correlative in the noblest combination .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.79)
And for this we have the best warrant in the world :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.80)
For a just man scarcely will a man die ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.81)
the Syriac interpreter reads it {COM:greek_omitted} for an
unjust man scarcely will a man dy ; that is , a wicked man is
at no hand fit to receive the expression of the greatest friendship ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.82)
but all the Greek Copies that ever I saw , or read of , read it as we
do ; for a righteous man or a just man :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.83)
that is , justice and righteousnesse is not the nearest indearment of
friendship ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,25.84)
but for a good man some will even dare to dy : that is , for a man that
is sweetly disposed , ready to do acts of goodnesse , and to oblige
others , to do things usefull and profitable , for a loving man
, a beneficent , bountiful man , one who delights in doing good for his
friend , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.85)
such a man may have the highest friendship ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.86)
he may have a friend that will dy for him . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.87)
And this is the meaning of Laelius :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.88)
Vertue may be despised , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.89)
so may learning and Nobility ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.90)
et una est amicitia in rebus humanis de cujus utilitate omnes
consentiunt : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.91)
onely friendship is that thing which because all know to be useful and
profitable , no man can despise ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.92)
that is , {COM:greek_omitted} , or {COM:greek_omitted} , goodness or
beneficence makes friendships . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.93)
For if he be a good man he will love where he is beloved ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.94)
and $that $'s {TEXT:that's} the first tye of friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,26.95)
{COM:greek_omitted}
That was the Commendation of the bravest friendship ; in
Theocritus . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,27.98)
{COM:verse_and_greek_omitted}
For it is impossible this neerness of friendship can be where there is
not mutual love ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,27.100)
but this is secured if I choose a good man ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,28.101)
for he that is apt enough to begin alone will never be behinde in
relation & correspondency ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,28.102)
and therefore I like the Gentiles Letany well .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,28.103)
{COM:greek_and_verse_omitted}
But there is more in it then this felicity mounts to
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,28.105)
For {COM:greek_omitted} the good man is a profitable ,
useful person , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,28.106)
and $that $'s {TEXT:thats} an effective friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,28.107)
For I doe not think that friendships are Metaphysical nothings ,
created for contemplation ; or that men or women should stare upon each
others faces , and make dialogues of news & prettinesses , and look
babies in one anothers eyes . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,29.108)
Friendship is the allay of our sorrows , the ease of our passions , the
discharge of our oppressions , the sanctuary to our calamities , the
counsellor of our doubts , the clarity of our minds , the emission of
our thoughts , the exercise and improvement of what we meditate ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,29.109)
And although I love my friend because he is worthy , yet he is not
worthy if he can do no good . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,29.110)
I do not speak of accidental hinderances and misfortune by which the
bravest man may become unable to help his child ; but of the natural ,
and artificial capacities of the man . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,29.111)
He onely is fit to be chosen for a friend , who can do those offices
for which friendship is excellent . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.113)
For mistake not no man can be loved for himselfe ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.114)
our perfections in this world $can $not {TEXT:ca~not} reach so high ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.115)
it is wel if we would love God at that rate ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.116)
and I very much feare , that if God did us no good , we might admire
his Beauties , but we should have but a small proportion of love
towards him ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.117)
and therefore it is that God to indeare the obedience ,
that is , the love of his servants , signifies what
benefits he gives us , what great things he does for us .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.118)
I am the Lord God that brought thee out of the Land of Egypt :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.119)
and , does Job serve God for nought ?
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.120)
And , he that comes to God , must believe that he is , and that
he is a rewarder : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.121)
all his other greatnesses are objects of feare and wonder ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,30.122)
it is his goodnesse that makes him lovely :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.123)
and so it is in friendships . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.124)
He only is fit to be chosen for a friend who can give me counsel , or
defend my cause , or guide me right , or relieve me , or can and will ,
when I need it , do me good : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.125)
onely this I adde : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.126)
into the heaps of doing good , I will reckon loving me
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.127)
for it is a pleasure to be beloved ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.128)
but when his love signifies nothing but kissing my Cheek or talking
kindly , and can goe no further , it is a prostitution of the Bravery
of friendship to spend it upon impertinent people who are it
may be loads to their families , but can never ease my loads :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.129)
but my friend is a worthy person , when he can become to me instead of
God , a guide or a support , an eye , or a hand ; a staffe , or a rule
: (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,31.130)
There must be in friendship something to distinguish it from a
Companion , and a Countryman , from a School-fellow , or a Gossip ,
from a Sweetheart , or a Fellow traveller : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,32.131)
Friendship may look in at any one of these doors ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,32.132)
but it stayes not any where till it come to be the best thing in the
world : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,32.133)
and when we consider that one man is not better then another ,
neither-1 towards God nor Man , but by doing better and braver things ,
we shall also see , that that which is most beneficent is also most
excellent ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,32.134)
and therefore those friendships must needs be most perfect , where the
friends can be most useful . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,32.135)
For men $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be useful but by worthinesses in the
several instances : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,32.136)
a fool $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be relied upon for counsel ; nor a
vitious person for the advantages of vertue , nor a beggar for relief ,
nor a stranger for conduct , nor a tatler to keep a secret , nor
a pittiless person trusted with my complaint , nor a covetous man with
my childes fortune , nor a false person without a witnesse , nor a
suspicious person with a private design ; nor him that I feare with the
treasures of my love ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,33.137)
But he that is wise and vertuous , rich and at hand , close and
merciful , free of his money and tenacious of a secret , open and
ingenuous , true and honest , is of himself an excellent man ; and
therefore fit to be lov'd ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,33.138)
and he can do good to me in all capacities where I can need him ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,33.139)
and therefore is fit to be a friend . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,33.140)
I confesse , we are forced in our friendships to abate some of these
ingredients ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,33.141)
but full measures of friendship would have full measures of
worthinesses ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,33.142)
and according as any defect is in the foundation ; in the
relation also there may be imperfection : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,34.143)
and indeed I shall not blame the friendship so it be worthy , though it
be not perfect ; not only because friendship is charity , which $can
$not {TEXT:cannot} be perfect here , but because there is not in the
world a perfect cause of perfect friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,34.144)
If you can suspect that this discourse can suppose friendship to be
mercenary , and to be defective in the greatest worthinesse of it ,
which is to love our friend for our friends sake for
Scipio said , that it was against friendship to say ,
ita amare oportere ut aliquando esset usurus , that we ought to
love , that we may also sometimes make use of a friend
{COM:no_close_paren} : I shall easily be able to defend my self :
because I speak of the election and reasons of choosing friends :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,34.145)
after he is chosen , do as nobly as you talk ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.146)
and love as purely as you dream ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.147)
and let your conversation be as metaphysical as your discourse ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.148)
and proceed in this method , till you be confuted by experience ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.149)
yet till then , the case is otherwise when we speak of choosing one to
be my friend : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.150)
He is not my friend till I have chosen him , or loved him ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.151)
and if any man inquires whom he shall choose , or whom he should love ,
I suppose it ought not to be answered , that we should love him who
hath least amability ; that we should choose him who hath least reason
to be chosen : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.152)
But if it be answered , he is to be chosen to be my friend who is most
worthy in himself , not he that can do most good to me ; I say , here
is a distinction , but no difference ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,35.153)
for he is most worthy in himself who can do most good ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.154)
and if he can love me too , that is , if he will do me all the good he
can , or that I need , then he is my friend ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.155)
and he deserves it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.156)
And it is impossible from a friend to separate a will to do me good :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.157)
and therefore I do not choose well , if I choose one that hath not
power ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.158)
for if it may consist with the noblenesse of friendship to desire that
my friend be ready to do me benefit or support , it is not sense to say
, it is ignoble to desire he should really do it when I need ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.159)
and if it were not for pleasure or profit , we might as well be without
a friend as have him . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.160)
Among all the pleasures and profits , the sensual pleasure
and the matter of money are the lowest and the
least ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,36.161)
and therefore although they may sometimes be used in friendship
, and so not wholly excluded from the consideration of him that is to
choose , yet of all things they are to be the least regarded ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,37.162)
{COM:greek_and_verse_omitted}
For there are , besides these , many profits and many pleasures ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,37.164)
and because these only are sordid , all the other are noble and fair ,
and the expectations of them no disparageme~ts to the best friendships
. (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,37.165)
For can any wise or good man be angry , if I say , I chose this man to
be my friend , because he is able to give me counsel , to restrain my
wandrings , to comfort me in my sorrows ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,37.166)
he is pleasant to me in private , and useful in publick ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.167)
he will make my joyes double , and divide my grief between himself and
me . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.168)
For what else should I choose ? (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.169)
For being a fool , and useless ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.170)
for a pretty face , or a smooth chin ? (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.171)
I confesse , it is possible to be a friend to one that is ignorant ,
and pitiable , handsome and good for nothing , that eats well , and
drinks deep : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.172)
but he $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be a friend to me ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.173)
and I love him with a fondness or a pity , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.174)
but it $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be a noble friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,38.175)
{COM:greek_and_verse_omitted}
Plutarch calls such friendships , the Idols and Images
of friendship . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,39.178)
True and brave friendships are between worthy persons ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,39.179)
and there is in mankind no degree of worthiness , but is also a degree
of usefulnesse ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,39.180)
and by every thing by which a man is excellent , I may be profited :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,39.181)
and because those are the bravest friends which can best serve the ends
of friendships , either we must suppose that friendships are not the
greatest comforts in the world , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,39.182)
or else we must say , he chooseth his friend best , that chooseth such
a one by whom he can receive the greatest comforts and
assistances . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.183)
3 . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.184)
This being the measure of all friendships ; they all partake of
excellency , according as they are fitted to this measure :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.185)
a friend may be counselled well enough , though his friend be not the
wisest man in the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.186)
and he may be pleased in his society though he be not the best natured
man in the world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.187)
but still it must be , that something excellent is , or is apprehended
, (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.188)
or else it can be no worthy friendship ; because the choice is
imprudent and foolish . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.189)
Choose for your friend him that is wise and good , and secret and just
, ingenuous and honest ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.190)
and in those things which have a latitude , use your own liberty ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.191)
but in such things which consist in an indivisible point , make no
abatements : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,40.192)
That is , you must choose him to be your friend that is not
honest and secret , just and true , to a tittle ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,41.193)
but if he be wise at all , and usefull in any degree , and as good as
you can have him , you need not be ashamed to own your friendships ;
though sometimes you may be ashamed of some imperfections of your
friend . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,41.194)
4 . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,41.195)
But if you yet inquire further , whether fancy may be an ingredient in
your choice ? I answer , that fancy may minister to this as to all
other actions in which there is a liberty and variety ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,41.196)
and we shall find that there may be peculiarities , and little
partialities , a friendship , improperly so called ,
entring upon accounts of an innocent passion and a pleas'd fancy ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,41.197)
even our Blessed Saviour himself loved St. John and
Lazarus by a special love , which was signified by
special treatments ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.198)
and of the young man that spake well and wisely to Christ , it is
affirmed , Jesus loved him : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.199)
that is , he fancied the man ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.200)
and his soul had a certain cognation and similitude of temper and
inclination . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.201)
For in all things where there is latitude , every faculty will
endeavour to be pleased ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.202)
and sometimes the meanest persons in a house have a festival ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.203)
even sympathies and natural inclinations to some persons , and a
conformity of humors , and proportionable loves , and the beauty of the
face , and a witty answer may first strike the flint and kindle a spark
, which if it fall upon tender and compliant natures may grow into a
flame ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,42.204)
but this will never be maintained at the rate of friendship , unlesse
it be fed by pure materials , by worthinesses , which
are the food of friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,43.205)
Where these are not , men and women may be pleased with one anothers
company , and ly under the same roof , and make themselves companions
of equal prosperities , and humour their friend ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,43.206)
but if you call this friendship , you give a sacred name to humour or
fancy ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,43.207)
for there is a Platonic friendship , as well as a Platonic love ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,43.208)
but they being but the Images of more noble bodies are but like tinsel
dressings , which will shew bravely by candle light , and doe
excellently in a mask , but are not fit for conversation , and the
material entercourses of our life . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,43.209)
These are the prettinesses of prosperity , and good-natured wit ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,43.210)
but when we speak of friendship , which is the best thing in the world
for it is love and beneficence ; it is charity which is fitted
for society we $can $not {TEXT:cannot} suppose a brave
pile should be built up with nothing ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,44.211)
and they that build castles in the aire , and look upon friendship , as
upon a fine Romance , a thing that pleases the fancy , but is good for
nothing else , will do well when they are asleep , or when they are
come to Elysium ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,44.212)
& for ought I know , in the mean time may be as much in love with
Mandana in the Grand Cyrus , as with the
Countess of Exeter ; and by dreaming of perfect and
abstracted friendships , make them so immaterial that they perish in
the handling , and become good for nothing .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,44.213)
But I know not whither I was going ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,44.214)
I did only mean to say that because friendship is that by which the
world is most blessed and receives most good , it ought to be
chosen amongst the worthiest persons , that is , amongst those that can
do greatest benefit to each other ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,45.215)
and though in equal worthinesse I may choose by my eye , or ear , that
is , into the consideration of the essential I may take in also the
accidental intrinsic worthinesses ; yet I ought to give every one their
just value ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,45.216)
when the internal beauties are equal , these shall help to weigh down
the scale , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,45.217)
and I will love a worthy friend that can delight me as well as profit
me , rather then him who $can $not {TEXT:cannot} delight me at all ,
and profit me no more ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,45.218)
but yet I will not weigh the gayest flowers , or the wings of
butterflies against wheat ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,45.219)
but when I am to choose wheat , I may take that which looks the
brightest : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,45.220)
I had rather see Time and Roses , Majoram and Julyflowers that
are fair and sweet and medicinal , then the prettiest Tulips , that are
good for nothing : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.221)
And my Sheep and Kine are better servants then race-Horses and
Grayhounds : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.222)
And I shall rather furnish my study with Plutarch and
Cicero , with Livy & Polybius
, then with Cassandra and Ibrahim Bassa
; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.223)
and if I do give an hour to these for divertisement or pleasure , yet I
will dwell with them that can instruct me and make me wise , and
eloquent , severe and useful to my self , and others .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.224)
I end this with the saying of Laelius in Cicero :
Amicitia non debet consequi utilitatem , sed amicitiam utilitas
. (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.225)
When I choose my friend , I will not stay till I have receiv'd a
kindnesse ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.226)
but I will choose such a one that can do me many if I need them :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,46.227)
But I mean such kindnesses which make me wiser , and which make
me better ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.228)
that is , I will when I choose my friend , choose him that is the
bravest , the worthiest and the most excellent person :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.229)
And then your first question is soon answered ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.230)
to love such a Person , and to contract such friendships , is just so
authorized by the principles of Christianity , as it is warranted to
love wisdome and vertue , goodnesse and beneficence , and all the
impresses of God upon the spirits of brave men .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.231)
2 . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.232)
The next inquiry is , how far it may extend ?
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.233)
That is , by what expressions it may be signified ?
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.234)
I finde that David and Jonathan loved at
a strange rate ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.235)
they were both good men ; though it happenned that Jonathan
was on the obliging side ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,47.236)
but here the expressions were ; Jonathan watched for
Davids good ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.237)
told him of his danger , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.238)
and helped him to escape ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.239)
took part with Davids innocence against his Fathers
malice and injustice ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.240)
and beyond all this , did it to his own prejudice ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.241)
and they two stood like two feet supporting one body ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.242)
though Jonathan knew that David would
prove like the foot of a wrastler , and would supplant him , not by any
unworthy or unfriendly action , but it was from God ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.243)
and he gave him his hand to set him upon his owne throne .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.244)
We find his paralels in the Gentile stories :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.245)
young Athenodorus having divided the estate with his
Brother Xenon divided it again when Xenon
had spent his own share ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,48.246)
and Lucullus would not take the Consularship till his
younger brother had first injoyed it for a year ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,49.247)
but Pollux divided with Castor his
immortality ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,49.248)
and you know who offer'd himself to death being pledge for his friend ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,49.249)
and his friend by performing his word rescued him as bravely :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,49.250)
and when we find in Scripture that for a good man some will even
dare to die ; and that Aquila and
Priscilla laid their necks down for S. Paul ;
and the Galatians would have given him their very eyes ,
that is , every thing that was most dear to them ; and some others were
neer unto death for his sake ; and that it is a precept of Christian
charity , to lay down our lives for our Brethren , that is , those who
were combined in a cause of Religion , who were united with the same
hopes , and imparted to each other ready assistances , and grew dear by
common sufferings , we need inquire no further for the
expressions of friendships : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.251)
Greater love then this hath no man , then that he lay down his
life for his friends ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.252)
and this we are oblig'd to do in some Cases for all Christians ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.253)
and therefore we may do it for those who are to us in this present and
imperfect state of things , that which all the good men and women in
the world shall be in Heaven , that is , in the state of perfect
friendships . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.254)
This is the biggest ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.255)
but then it includes and can suppose all the rest ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.256)
and if this may be done for all , and in some Cases must for any one of
the multitude , we need not scruple whether we may do it for those who
are better then a multitude . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.257)
But as for the thing it self , it is not easily and lightly to be done
; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,50.258)
and a man must not die for humor , nor expend so great a Jewel for a
trifle : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.259)
{COM:greek_omitted} said Philo ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.260)
we will hardly die when it is for nothing , when no good , no worthy
end is served , and become a sacrifice to redeem a foot-boy .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.261)
But we may not give our life to redeem another : unless , 1. The party
for whom we die be a worthy and a useful person ; better for the
publick , or better for Religion , and more usefull to others then my
self . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.262)
Thus Ribischius the German died bravely when he became a
sacrifice for his Master , Maurice Duke of Saxony
; Covering his Masters body with his own , that he might escape
the fury of the Turkish Souldiers . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.263)
Succurram perituro , sed ut ipse non peream , nisi si futurus
ero magni hominis , aut magnae rei merces ; said Seneca
. (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.264)
I will help a dying person if I can ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,51.265)
but I will not die my self for him , unless by my death I save a
brave man , or become the price of a great thing ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.266)
that is , I will die for a Prince , for the republick , or to save an
Army , as David expos'd himself to combat with the
Philistin for the redemption of the Host of Israel :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.267)
And in this sence , that is true ; Praestat ut pareat unus ,
quam Unitas , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.268)
better that one perish than a multitude . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.269)
2 . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.270)
A man dies bravely when he gives his temporal life to save the soul of
any single person in the Christian world . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.271)
It is a worthy exchange , and the glorification of that love by which
Christ gave his life for every soul . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,52.272)
Thus he that reproves an erring Prince wisely and necessarily , he that
affirms a fundamentall truth , or stands up for the glory of the Divine
Attributes , though he die for it , becomes a worthy sacrifice .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.273)
3 (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.274)
These are duty , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.275)
but it may be heroic and full of Christian bravery , to give my life to
rescue a noble and a brave friend ; though I my self be as worthy a man
as he ; because the preference of him is an act of humility in me ; and
of friendship towards him ; Humility and Charity
making a pious difference , where art and
nature have made all equall . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.276)
Some have fancied other measures of treating our friends .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.277)
One sort of men say that we are to expect that our friends should value
us as we value our selves : which if it were to be admitted , will
require that we make no friendships with a proud man ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.278)
and so far indeed were well ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,53.279)
but then this proportion does exclude also humble men who are most to
be valued , and the rather because they undervalue themselves .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.280)
Others say , that a friend is to value his friend as much as his friend
values him ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.281)
but neither is this well or safe , wise or sufficient ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.282)
for it makes friendship a mere bargain , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.283)
and is something like the Country weddings in some places where I have
been ; where the Bridegroom and the Bride must meet in the half way ;
and if they fail a step , they retire and break the match :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.284)
It is not good to make a reckoning in friendship ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.285)
$that $'s {TEXT:that's} merchandise , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.286)
or it may be gratitude , but not noble friendship ; in which each part
strives to out-do the other in significations of an excellent love :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.287)
And amongst true friends there is no fear of losing anything .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,54.288)
But that which amongst the old Philosophers comes nearest to the
right , is , that we love our selves . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.289)
If they had meant it as our Blessed Saviour did , of that general
friendship by which we are to love all mankind , it had been perfect
and well ; or if they had meant it of the inward affection , or of
outward justice ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.290)
but because they meant it of the most excellent friendships , and of
the outward significations of it , it $can $not {TEXT:cannot} be
sufficient : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.291)
for a friend may and must sometimes do more for his friend then he
would do for himself . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.292)
Some men will perish before they will beg or petition for themselves to
some certain persons ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.293)
but they account it noble to do it for their friend ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.294)
and they will want rather then their friend shall want ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,55.295)
and they will be more earnest in praise or dispraise respectively
for their friend , then for themselves .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,56.296)
And indeed , I account that one of the greatest
demonstrations of real friendship is , that a friend can really
endeavour to have his friend advanced in honour , in reputation , in
the opinion of wit or learning , before himself .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,56.297)
{COM:verses_omitted}
But then be pleas'd to think that therefore I so highly value this
signification of friendship , because I so highly value humility .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.300)
Humility & Charity are the two greatest graces in the world ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.301)
and these are the greatest ingredients which constitute friendship and
expresse it . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.302)
But there needs no other measures of friendship , but that it may be as
great as you can express it ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.303)
beyond death it $can $not {TEXT:cannot} go ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.304)
to death it may , when the cause is reasonable and just , charitable
and religious : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.305)
and yet if there be any thing greater then to suffer death and
pain and shame to some are more insufferable a true and noble
friendship shrinks not at the greatest trials , {COM:sic}
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,57.306)
And yet there is a limit even to friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.308)
It must be as great as our friend fairely needs in all things where we
are not tied up by a former duty , to God , to our selves , or some
pre-obliging relative . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.309)
When Pollux heard some body whisper a reproach against
his Brother Castor , he kill'd the slanderer with his
fist : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.310)
That was a zeal which his friendship could not warrant .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.311)
Nulla est excusatio , si amici causa peccaveris , said
Cicero . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.312)
No friendship can excuse a sin : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.313)
And this the braver Romans instanced in the matter of duty to their
Country . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.314)
It is not lawful to fight on our friends part against our Prince or
Country ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,58.315)
and therefore when Caius Blosius of Cuma
, in the sedition of Gracchus , appeared against his
Country , when he was taken he answered , that he loved
Tiberius Gracchus so dearly , that he thought fit to follow him
whithersoever he lead ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,59.316)
and begg'd pardon upon that account . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,59.317)
They who were his Judges were so noble , that though they knew it no
fair excuse ; yet for the honour of friendship they did not directly
reject his motion : but put him to death , because he did not follow ,
but led on Gracchus and brought his friend into the
snare : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,59.318)
For so they preserved the honours of friendship on either hand , by
neither-1 suffering it to be sullied by a foul excuse , nor yet
rejected in any fair pretence . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,59.319)
A man may not be perjured for his friend . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,59.320)
I remember to have read in the History of the Low-countreyes , that
Grimston and Redhead , when
Bergenapzoom was besieged by the Duke of Parma ,
acted for the interest of the Queen of Englands
forces a notable design ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.321)
but being suspected , and put for their acquittance to take the
Sacrament of the Altar , they dissembled their persons , and their
interest , their design and their Religion ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.322)
and did for the Queens service as one wittily wrote to her
give not only their bodies , but their souls ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.323)
and so deserved a reward greater then she could pay them :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.324)
I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} say this is a thing greater then a friendship
can require , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.325)
for it is not great at all , but a great villany , which hath no name ,
and no order in worthy entercourses ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.326)
and no obligation to a friend can reach as high as our Duty to God :
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.327)
And he that does a base thing in zeal for his friend , burns the golden
thred that tyes their hearts together ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.328)
it is a conspiracy , but no longer friendship
. (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,60.329)
And when Cato lent his Wife to Hortensius
, and Socrates lent his to a merry Greek , they could
not amongst wise persons obtain so much as the fame of being worthy
friends ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.331)
neither could those great Names legitimate an unworthy action under the
most plausible title . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.332)
It is certain that amongst friends their estates are common ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.333)
that is , by whatsoever I can rescue my friend from calamity , I am to
serve him , or not to call him my friend ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.334)
and there is a great latitude in this ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.335)
and it is to be restrained by no prudence ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.336)
but when there is on the other side a great necessity neither vitious
nor avoidable , A man may choose , whether he will or no ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.337)
and he does not sin in not doing it , unlesse he have bound himself to
it : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,61.338)
But certainly friendship is the greatest band in the
world ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.339)
and if he have professed a great friendship , he hath a very great
obligation to do that and more ; (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.340)
and he can no way be disobliged but by the care of his Natural
relations . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.341)
I said Friendship is the greatest bond in the world
, (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.342)
and I had reason for it , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.343)
for it is all the bands that this world hath ;
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.344)
and there is no society , and there is no relation that is worthy , but
it is made so by the communications of friendship and by partaking some
of its excellencies . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.345)
For friendship is a transcendent , (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.346)
and signifies as much as Unity can mean ,
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.347)
and every consent , and every pleasure , and every benefit , and every
society is the Mother or the Daughter of friendship .
(JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,62.348)
Some friendships are made by nature , some by
contract , some by interest , and some by
souls . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,63.349)
And in proportion to these wayes of Uniting , so the friendships are
greater or less , vertuous or natural , profitable or holy , or all
this together . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,63.350)
Nature makes excellent friendships , of which we observe something in
social plants ; growing better in each others neighbourhood then where
they stand singly : (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,63.351)
And in animals it is more notorious , whose friendships extend so far
as to herd and dwell together , to play , and feed , to defend and
fight for one another , and to cry in absence , and to rejoyce in one
anothers presence . (JETAYLORMEAS-E3-P2,63.352)