THE GREAT EATER , OR PART OF THE ADMIRABLE TEETH AND STOMACKS EXPLOITS
OF NICHOLAS WOOD , OF HARRISOM IN THE
COVNTY OF KENT . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C1.3)
HIS EXCESSIVE MANNER OF EATING WITHOVT MANNERS , IN
STRANGE AND TRVE MANNER DESCRIBED , BY JOHN TAILOR .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C1.4)
Records and Histories doe make memorable mention of the diuersitie of
qualities of sundry famous persons , men and women , in all the
Countries and Regions of the world , how some are remembred for their
Piety and Pitty ; some for Iustice ; some for Seuerity , for Learning ,
Wisedome , Temperance , Constancie , Patience , with all the vertues
Diuine , and morall : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C1.6)
Some againe , haue purchased a memory for Greatnesse and Talnesse of
body ; some for Dwarfish smalnesse ; some for beautifull outsides ,
faire feature and composition of Limbs and stature ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C1.7)
many haue gotten an earthly perpetuity for cruelty and murther , as
Nero , Commodus , and others : for Leachery , as
Heliogabalus : for Drunkennesse , Tiberius ,
alias Biberius : for Effeminacy , as
Sardanapalus : for Gluttony , Aulus Vitellius
, who at one supper was serued with two thousand sorts of
fishes , and seuen thousand fowles , as Suetonius writes
in his ninth Booke , and Iosephus in his fifth Booke of
the Iewes warres . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C1.8)
Caligula was famous for Ambition ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C1.9)
for hee would bee ador'd as a God , though he liu'd like a
Deuill , poysoning his Vnkle , and deflowring all his Sisters :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.10)
And in all ages and Countries , time hath still produc'd particular
persons , men & women , either-1 for their vertues or their vices , to
be remembred , that by meditating on the good , we may bee imitating
their goodnesse , and by viewing the bad , we might be eschewing thier
vices . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.11)
To descend lower to more familiar examples , I haue knowne a great man
very expert on the Iewe-harpe ; a rich heire excellent at Noddy , a
Iustice of the Peace skilfull at Quoytes ; a Marchants wife a quicke
Gamester at Irish especially when she came to bearing of men
that she would seldome misse entring .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.12)
Monsieur La Ferr a French-man , was the first inuentor
of the admirable Game of Double-hand , Hot-cockles ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.13)
& Gregorie Dawson an English man , deuised the
vnmatchable mystery of Blind-man-buffe . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.14)
Some haue the a gility to ride Poast , some the facility to runne Poast
; some the dexterity to write Post , and some the ability to speake ,
poast : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.15)
For I haue heard a fellow make a Hackney of his tongue ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,142.C2.16)
& in a moment he hath gallop'd a Lye from China
to London , without Bridle or Saddle .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.17)
Others doe speake poast , in a thicke shuffling kind of Ambling-trot ,
and that in such speede , that one of them shall talke more in one
quarter of an houre , then shall be vnderstood in seuen yeeres .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.18)
And , as euery one hath particular qualities to themselues , and
dissonant from others , so are the manners of liues or liuings
of all men and women various one from another ; as some get
their liuing by their tounges , as Interpreters , Lawyers , Oratours ,
and Flatterers ; some by tayles , as Maquerellaes , Concubines ,
Curtezanes , or in plaine English , Whores ; Some by $their
{TEXT:theit} feete , as Dancers , Lackeyes , Footmen , and Weauers ,
and Knights of the publicke or common order of the Forke ; Some by
their braines , as Politicians , Monopolists , Proiectmongers ,
Suit-ioggers , and Stargazers ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.19)
Some like the Salamander liue by fire ,
as the whole Race of Tubalcaine , the Vulcanean
Broode of Blacksmiths , fire-men , Colliers , Gunners ,
Gun-founders , and all sorts of mettle-men ; Some like the
Cameleon , by the Ayre , and such are Poets , Trumpeters ,
Cornets , Recorders , Pipers , Bag-pipers ; and some by smoake , as
Tabaconists , Knights of the Vapour , Gentlemen of the Whiffe ,
Esquires of the Pipe , Gallants in Fumo ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.20)
Some liue by the Water as Herrings doe , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.21)
such are Brewers , Vintners , Dyers , Mariners , Fisher-men , and
Scullers ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.22)
And many like Moles liue by the Earth , as griping Vsurers , racking
Landlords , toyling Plowmen , moyling Labourers , painefull Gardners ,
and others . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.23)
Amongst all these before mentioned , and many more which I could recite
, this subiect of my Pen is not for his qualitie
inferiour to any : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.24)
and as neere as I can , I will stretch my wit vpon the Tenters , to
describe his name and Character , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.25)
his worthy Actes shall be related after in due time duely
. (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C1.26)
And , Be it knowne vnto all men , to whom these presents shall come ,
that I Iohn Taylor , Waterman of Saint Sauiours
in Southwarke , in the County of Surrey , the Writer hereof ,
&c. will write plaine truth , bare and threed-bare , and almost starke
$naked $truth {TEXT:naked-truth} , of the descriptions ,
and remarkable , memorable Actions of Nicholas Wood , of
the Parish of Harrisom in the County of Kent , Yeoman ,
for these considerations following . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.27)
First , I were to blame to write more then truth , because that which
is knowne to be true , is enough . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.28)
Secondly , that which is onely true , is too much .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.29)
Thirdly , the truth will hardly be beleeued , being so much beyond mans
reason to conceiue . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.30)
Fourthly , I shall runne the hazzard to bee accounted a great lyer , in
writing the truth . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.31)
Lastly , I will not lye , on purpose to make all those lyers that
esteeme me so . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.32)
Yet by your leaue , Master Critick , you must giue me licence to
flourish my Phrases , to embellish my lines , to adorne my Oratory , to
embroder my speeches , to enterlace my words , to draw out my sayings ,
and to bumbaste the whole suite of the businesse for the time of your
wearing . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.33)
For though truth appeareth best bare in matters of Iustice , yet in
this I hold it decent to attire her with such poore raggs as I haue ,
in stead of Robes . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.34)
First then ; the place of his birth , and names of his parents are to
me a meere Terra incognita , as farre from my knowledge
, as content from a Vsurer , or honesty from a Bawde ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.35)
but if hee be no Christian , the matter is not much ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.36)
hee will serue well enough for a man of Kent ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.37)
and if his education had beene as his Feeding , it is euident he had
been of most mighty breeding ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.38)
he hath gotten a soule name , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.39)
but I know not if it came to him by Baptisme ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.40)
for it is partly a Nick -name , which in the totall is
Nicholas , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.41)
I would abate him but a Saint , and call him Nicholas Shambles
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.42)
and were the goodnesse of his purse answerable to the greatnesse of his
appetite , out of all question , no man below the Moone would be a
better customer to a shambles then he , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.43)
for though he be chaste of his body , yet his minde is onely vpon flesh
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.44)
he is the onely Tugmutton , or Muttonmonger betwixt Douer
and Dunbarr : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.45)
for hee hath eaten a whole Sheepe of sixteene shillings price , raw at
one meale (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,143.C2.46)
pardon me I thinke hee left the skin ,
the wooll , the hornes , and the bones : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.47)
but what talke I of a Sheepe , when it is apparantly knowne , that he
hath at one repast , and with one dish , feasted his Carkas with all
manner of meates ? (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.48)
All men will confesse that a Hogge will eate any thing , either fish ,
flesh , fowle , root , herbe , or excrement ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.49)
and this same noble Nick Nicholas , or Nicholas
Nick , hath made an end of a Hogge all at once , as if it had
bin but a a Rabbet sucker , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.50)
and presently after , for fruit to recreate his palate , he hath
swallowed three peckes of Damsons , thus Philosophically
by way of a Chimicall Infusion , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.51)
as a Hogge will eate all things that are to be eaten , so he in eating
the Hogge , did in a manner of extraction distill all manner of meates
thorow the Limbeck of his paunch . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.52)
But hold a little , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.53)
I would be loath to cloy my Reader with too much meate and fruit at
once , so that after your Sheepe , Hogge and Damsons , I thinke it best
to suffer you to pawse and picke your teeth if you haue any
whilst I spend a few words more in Paraphrasing vpon his
surname . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.54)
Wood is his Appellation , Denomination , or how you
please to tearme it . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.55)
Some of the ancient Philosophers haue compared man to a Tree with the
bottome vpwards , whose roote is the braine ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.56)
the Armes Hands , Fingers , Leges , Feete and Toes , are the Limbs ,
and Branches , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.57)
the comparison is very significant , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.58)
many Trees doe bring forth good fruit , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.59)
so doe some fewe men ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.60)
Some stately Trees growe high and faire , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.61)
yet stand for nothing but shades , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.62)
and some men grow high and lofty , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.63)
yet are nothing but shaddows ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.64)
Some Trees are so malignant , that nothing can prosper vnder the
compasse of their branches ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.65)
and some men are so vnlucky , that very few can thriue in their seruice
. (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.66)
And as of one part of a Tree a Chaire of State may be made , and of
another part a carued Image , and of a third part a stoole of office ;
So men , being compounded and composed all of one mould and mettle ,
are different and disconsonant in estates , conditions , and qualities
. (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C1.67)
Too many like the barren Fig-tree beare leaues of
hypocrisie , but no fruites of Integrity , who serue onely
for a flourish in this life , and a flame in that hereafter .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.68)
So much for that : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.69)
now to returne to my Theame of Wood , indeed
this last disgression may make my Reader thinke that I could not see
wood for trees what Wood he is , I know not ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.70)
but by his face he should be Maple , or Crab-tree ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.71)
and by his stomacke , sure he is heart of Oake ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.72)
some say he is a Medaler , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.73)
but by his stature , he seemes like a low short Pine ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.74)
and certaine I am , that hee is a Popular , a
well-tymberd piece , or a store house for belly tymber .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.75)
Now Gentlemen , as I haue walked you amongst the Trees , and thorow the
Wood , I pray set downe , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.76)
and take a taste or two more of this Banquet .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.77)
What say you to the Leafe or Flecke of a Brawne new kild , to be of
weight eight pound , and to be eaten hot out of the Bores belly raw ?
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.78)
much good doe you Gallants , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.79)
was it not a glorious dish ? (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.80)
and presently after in stead of suckets , {COM:no_close_paren}
twelue raw puddings . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.81)
I speake not one word of drinke all this while ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.82)
for indeed he is no drunkard , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.83)
hee abhorres that swinish vice : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.84)
Alehouses , nor Tapsters $can $not {TEXT:cannot} nick this Nick
with froth , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.85)
curtoll Cannes , tragicall blacke-pots , and double-dealing bumbasted
Iugges , could neuer cheate him , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.86)
for one Pinte of Beere or Ale is enough to wash downe a Hog , or water
a Sheepe with him . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.87)
Two Loynes of Mutton , and one Loyne of Veale were but as three Sprats
to him : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.88)
Once at Sir Warrham Saint Leigers house , and at Sir
William Sydleyes he shewed himselfe so valiant of Teeth
, and Stomacke , that hee ate as much as would well haue seru'd and
suffic'd thirty men , so that his belly was like to turne bankerupt and
breake , but that the Seruing-men turn'd him to the fire , and anoynted
his paunch with Greace and Butter , to make it stretch and hold ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.89)
and afterwards being layd in bed , hee slept eight houres ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.90)
and fasted all the while : which when the Knight vnderstood , he
commanded him to be laid in the stocks , and there to endure as long
time as he had laine bedrid with eating . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,144.C2.91)
Pompey the Great , Alexander the Great ,
Tamberlane the Great , Charlemagne or
Charles the Great , Arthur
the Great : all these gat the Title of Great , for conquering Kingdomes
, and killing of men ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.92)
and surely eating is not a greater sinne then rapine ,
theft , manslaughter and murther . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.93)
Therefore this noble Eatalian doth well deserue the
Tytle of Great : wherefore I instile him Nicholas
the Great Eater : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.94)
And as these forenamed Greats haue ouerthrowne and wasted Countreyes ,
and Hosts of men , with the helpe of their Soldiers and followers ; so
hath our Nick the Great , in his owne person
without the helpe or ayde of any man , ouercome , conquered ,
and deuoured in one weeke , as much as would haue sufficed a reasonable
and sufficient Army in a day , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.95)
for hee hath at one meale made an assault vpon seuen dozen of good
Rabbets at the Lord Woetons in Kent ,
which in the totall is foure-score , which number would well haue
suffic'd a hundred , three-score and eight hungry Soldiers , allowing
to each of them halfe a Rabbet . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.96)
Bell , the famous Idoll of the Babylonians
, was a meere imposture , a Iuggling toye , and a
cheating-bable , in comparison of this Nicholaitan , Kentish
Tenterbelly , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.97)
the high and mighty Duke All paunch , was but a fiction
to him . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.98)
Milo the Crotonian could hardly be his
equall : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.99)
and Woolner of Windsor was not worthy to
bee his foot-man . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.100)
A quarter of fat Lambe , and threescore Eggs haue beene but an easie
colation , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.101)
and three well larded Pudding-pyes he hath at one $time
{TEXT:time_time} put to foyle , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.102)
eighteene yards of black Puddings London measure
haue suddenly beene imprisoned in his sowse-tub .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.103)
A Ducke raw with guts , feathers , and all except the bill &
the long feathers of the wings hath swomme in the whirlepole
or pond of his mawe , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.104)
and he told me , that three-score pound of Cherries was but a kind of
washing meate , and that there was no tacke in them ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.105)
for hee had tride it at one time . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.106)
But one Iohn Dale was too hard for him at a place called
Lennam , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.107)
for the said Dale had laid a wager that he would fill
Woods belly , with good wholesome victuals for 2.
shillings , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C1.108)
& a Gentleman that laid the contrary , did wager , that as soone as
noble Nick had eaten out Dales 2.
shillings , that he should presently enter combate with a
worthy Knight , called Sir Lorne of Beefe , & ouerthrow
him ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.109)
in conclusion , Dale bought 6. pots of potent , high ,
and mighty Ale , and twelue new penny white loaues , which hee sop'd in
the said Ale , the powerfull fume whereof , conquer'd the conquerour ,
rob'd him of his reason , bereft him of his wit , violently tooke away
his stomacke , intoxicated his Piamater , & entred the
Sconce of his Pericranion , blinde-folded him with sleep
; setting a nap of nine houres for manacles vpon his
threed-bare eyelids , to the preseruation $of {TEXT:or}
the rost Beefe , and the vnexpected winning of the wager .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.110)
This inuincible Ale , victoriously vanquish'd the
vanquisher , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.111)
and ouer our Great Triumpher , was Triumphant :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.112)
But there are presidents enow of as potent men as our Nicholas
, that haue subdude Kings and Kingdomes , and yet they
themselues haue been captiu'd and conquer'd by drinke ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.113)
wee need recite no more examples but the Great Alexander
, and Holophernes , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.114)
their ambition was boundlesse , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.115)
and so is the stomacke of my Pens subiect ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.116)
for all the foure Elements $can $not {TEXT:cannot} cloy him , fish from
the deepest ocean , or purest Riuer , fairest Pond , foulest Ditch , or
dirtiest puddle , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.117)
he hath a receite for Fowle of all sorts , from the Wren
to the Eagle , from the Titmouse to the
Estrich , or Cassawaraway ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.118)
his paunch is either a Coope or a Roost for them :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.119)
He hath within himselfe a stall for the Oxe , a roome
for the Cow , a stye for the Hogge , a Parke for the Deere , a warren
for Coneies , a storehouse for fruit , a dayery for Milke , Creame ,
Curds , Whay , Butter-milke , and Cheese :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.120)
his mouth is a Mill of perpetual motion , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.121)
for let the wind or the water rise or fall , yet his teeth will euer
bee grinding ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.122)
his guts are the Rendez-vous or meeting place or Burse for the Beasts
of the fields , the Fowles of the Ayre , and Fishes of the Sea ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.123)
and though they be neuer so wild or disagreeing in Nature , one to
another , yet hee binds or grindes them to the peace , in such manner ,
that they neuer fall at odds againe . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.124)
His eating of a Sheepe , a Hog , and a Duck raw , doth shew that he is
free from the sinne of nicenesse or curiosity in his Dyet .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,145.C2.125)
It had beene happy for the poore , if their stomacks had beene
of that constitution , when seacoales were so deare here .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.127)
Besides , he neuer troubles a Larder , or Cupboord to lay cold meate in
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.128)
nor doth he keepe any Cats or Traps in his house to destroy vermin ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.129)
he takes so good a course , that he layes or shuts vp all safe within
himselfe ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.130)
in briefe , giue him meate , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.131)
and he ne'r stands vpon the cookery , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.132)
he cares not for the Peacocke of Sames , the Woodcock of
Phrygia , the Cranes of Malta , the
Pheasants of England , the Caperkelly ,
the Heathcocke , and Termagant of
Scotland , the Goate of Wales , the Salmon , and
Vsquabah of Ireland , the Sawsedge of Bolognia
, the Skink of Westphalia , the Spanish
Potato , he holds as a bable , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.133)
and the Italian Figge he esteemes as poyson .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.134)
He is an English man , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.135)
and English dyet will serue his turne . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.136)
If the Norfolk Dumplin , and the Devonshire
White-pot , be at variance , he will atone them ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.137)
the Bag-puddings of Gloucester shire ,
the Black-puddings of Shropshire , the
White puddings of Somersetshire , the
Hasty-puddings of Hamshire , and the
Pudding-pyes of any shire , all is one to him ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.138)
nothing comes amisse , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.139)
a contented mind is worth all , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.140)
and let any thing come in the shape of fodder , or eating stuffe , it
is welcome , whether it bee Sawsedge , or Custard
, or Eg-pye , or Cheese-cake , or
Flawne , or Foole , or Froyze
, or Tanzy , or Pancake , or
Fritter , or Flapiacke , or Posset
, Galley-mawfrey , Mackeroone , Kickshaw , or Tantablin
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.141)
he is no puling Meacocke , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.142)
nor in all his life time the queasinesse of his stomacke needed any
fawcy spurre or switch of sowre Veriuce , or acute
Vinegar , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.143)
his appetite is no straggler , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.144)
nor is it euer to seeke , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.145)
for he keepes it close prisoner , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.146)
and like a courteous kind Iaylour , he is very tender ouer it , not
suffering it to want any thing if he can by any meanes procure it :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.147)
indeede it was neuer knowne to be so farre out of reparations , that it
needed the assistance of Cawdle , Alebery , Iulep , Culisse ,
Grewell , or stewd-broth ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C1.148)
onely a messe of plaine frugall Countrey Pottage was
alwayes sufficient for him , though it were but a washing-bowle
full , of the quantity of two pecks , which porrenger of his ,
I my selfe saw at the signe of the white Lyon
at a Village called Harrisom in Kent
, the Hostesse of which house did affirme , that hee did at
once wash downe that Bowle full of pottage , with nine penny loaues of
bread , and three Iugges of Beere . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.149)
Indeed , in my presence after he had broken his fast
hauing as he said eaten one pottle of milke , one
pottle of potage , with bread , butter , and cheese : I then sent for
him , to the aforesaid Inne , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.150)
and after some accomodated salutations , I asked him if hee could eate
any thing ? (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.151)
He gaue me thankes , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.152)
and said , that if he had knowne , that any Gentleman would haue
inuited him , that he would haue spared his breakefast at home ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.153)
and with that he told me as aforesaid , what he had eaten
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.154)
yet neuerthelesse to doe me a courtesie he would shew
me some small cast of his office , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.155)
for he had one hole or corner in the profundity of his storehouse ,
into which he would stow and bestow any thing that the house would
afford , at his perill and my cost . Whereupon I summoned my Hostesse
with three knocks vpon the Table , two stamps on the floore , with my
fist and foot , at which shee made her personall appearance with a low
Curtsie , and an inquisitiue What lacke ye ?
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.156)
I presently laid the authority of a bold Guest vpon her , commanding
that all the victuals in the house should be laid on the Table .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.157)
She said , she was but slenderly prouided , by reason goodman
Wood was there , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.158)
but what she had , or could doe , wee should presently haue :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.159)
so the cloth was displaid , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.160)
the salt was aduanc'd , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.161)
sixe penny wheaten loaues were mounted two stories high like a Rampier
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.162)
three sixe-penny Veale pyes , wall'd stiffly about , and well victual'd
within , were presented to the hazzard of the Scalado ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.163)
one pound of sweet butter being all fat and no bones
was in a cold sweat at this mighty preparation ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.164)
one good dish of Thorneback , white as Alabaster or the Snow vpon the
Scithian mountaines , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.165)
and in the Reare came vp an inch thick shyuer of a Peck house-hold
loafe ; all which prouision were presently , in the space of an houre
vtterly confounded , and brought to nothing , by the meere and onely
valourous dexterity of our vnmatchable grand Gurmound .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,146.C2.166)
He couragiously past the Pikes , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.168)
and I cleared the shot , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.169)
but the house yeelded no more , so that my Guest arose vnsatisfied ,
and my selfe discontented in being thrifty and sauing my money against
my will . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.170)
I did there offer him twenty shillings to bring him vp to me to my
house on the Bank-side , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.171)
and there I would haue giuen him as much good meate , as he would eate
in tenne dayes , one after another , & fiue shillings a day every day ,
and at the tenne dayes end , twenty shillings more , to bring him downe
againe . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.172)
I did also offer tenne shillings to one Ieremy Robinson
a Glouer a man very inward with him to attend and
keepe him company , and two shillings six pence the day , with good
dyet and lodging : all which were once accepted , vntill Wood
began to ruminate and examine what seruice he was to doe , for
these large allowances {COM:no_period} (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.173)
Now my plot was to haue him to the Beare-garden ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.174)
and there before a house full of people , he should haue eaten a wheele
barrow full of Tripes , and the next day , as many puddings as should
reach ouer the Thames at a place which I would measure betwixt
London and Richmond
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.175)
the third day , I would haue allowed him a fat Calfe , or Sheepe of
twenty shillings price , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.176)
and the fourth day he should haue had thirty Sheepes Gathers ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.177)
thus from day to day , he should haue had wages & dyet with variety ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.178)
but he fearing that which his merits would amount vnto , brake off the
match , saying , that perhaps when his Grace , I guesse who he
meant should heare of one that ate so much , and could worke
so little , he doubted there would come a command to hang him :
whereupon our hopefull Beare-garden busines was shiuerd , and shatterd
in pieces . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.179)
Indeed he made a doubt of his expected performance in his quality , by
reason of his being growne in yeeres , so that if his stomack should
faile him publikely , and lay his reputation in the mire , it might
haue beene a disparagement to him for euer ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.180)
and especially in Kent , where he hath long beene famous , hee would be
loth to be defamed ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C1.181)
But as weake as he was , he said , that he could make a shift to
destroy a fat Weather of a pound in two houres , prouided
that it were tenderly boild , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.182)
for he hath lost all his teeth except one in eating a
quarter of Mutton , bones and all at Ashford
in the County aforesaid , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.183)
yet is he very quicke and nimble in his feeding ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.184)
and will ridde more Eating worke away in two houres , then tenne of the
hungriest Carters in the Parish where he dwells .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.185)
He is surely noble for his great Stomacke and vertuous
, chiefely for his patience in putting vp much ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.186)
moreoeuer he is thrifty or frugall ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.187)
for when he can get no better meate , he will eate Oxe Liuers , or a
messe of warme Ale-graines from a Brewhouse .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.188)
He is prouident and studious where to get more prouision as soone as
all is spent , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.189)
and yet hee is bountifull or prodigall in spending all hee hath at once
: (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.190)
hee is profitable in keeping bread and meate from mould and Maggots ,
and sauing the charge of salt , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.191)
for his appetite will not waite and attend the poudring ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.192)
his courtesie is manifest , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.193)
for he had rather haue one Farewel then twenty Godbwyes
: (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.194)
Of all things , hee holds fasting to be a most superstitious branch of
Popery , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.195)
he is a maine enemy to Emberweekes , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.196)
he hates Lent worse then a Butcher or a Puritan ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.197)
and the name of Good-friday affrights him like a Bulbegger ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.198)
a long Grace before meate , strikes him into a Quotidian Ague ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.199)
in a word , hee could wish that Christmas would dwell with vs all the
yeere , or that euery day were metamorphoz'd into Shrouetuesdayes ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.200)
in briefe , he is a Magazine , a store-house , a Receptacle , a Burse ,
or Exchange , a Babel or confusion for all Creatures .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.201)
Hee is no Gamester , neither-1 at Dice , or Cards ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.202)
yet there is not any man within forty miles of his head , that can play
with him at Maw , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.203)
and though his pasture be neuer so good , he is alwayes like one of
Pharoahs leane Kine ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.204)
he is swarty , blackish haire , Hawk-nosed like a Parrot , or a
Roman (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.205)
hee is wattle-Iawde , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,147.C2.206)
and his eyes are sunke inward ; as if hee looked into the inside of his
intrayles , to note what custom'd or vncustom'd goods he tooke in ,
whilst his belly like a Maine-sayle in a calme hangs
ruffled and wrinkled in folds and wrathes flat
to the mast of his empty carkasse , till the storme of
aboundance fills it , and violently driues it into the full sea of
satisfaction . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,148.C1.207)
{COM:verse_omitted}
Finis . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,1,148.C1.209)
Sunday the 26. $of $August
{TEXT:'August_of'_in_italics} wee set sayle from Graus end
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C1.211)
and with various windes some large and some scarce , we happely past
the Seas , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C1.212)
and sayled vp the Riuer or Maze , by the Brill
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C1.213)
and on the Wednesday following I arriued at Roterdam in
Holland , at which time the worthy Regiment of the right
honourable Colonell Sir Horace Veere , and the two noble
Earles of Essex , and Oxford departed
from thence in Martiall Equipage toward the Pallatinate Country , whose
Heroick and Magnanimous endeauours , I beseech the Lord of
Hosts , and God of battels to direct and blesse .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.214)
The same day I went to the Hage , and from thence to
Leiden , where I lodged all night ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.215)
and the morrow being Thursday the of August , I sayled
from Leyden to Amsterdam , where I saw
many things worthy the noting , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.216)
but because they are so neere and frequent to many of our Nation , I
omit to relate them , to auoid tediousnes :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.217)
but on the Friday at night I got passage from thence toward
Hambrogh , in a small hoy , in the which we were weather-beaten
at Sea three dayes and nights before we arriued there .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.218)
Saturday the eighth $of September I left Hambrogh
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.219)
and being carried day and night in Waggons , on the Monday night
following I came to an ancient towne called Heldeshim ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.220)
it standeth in Brunswicke Land ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.221)
and yet it belongeth to the Byshop of Collin , where I
did obserue in their Doome Kirke , or Cathedral Church ,
a Crowne of siluer foote in Compasse , hanged vp in the body of the
Church , in the circuit of which crowne were placed waxe Candles , the
which at Festiuall dayes , or at the celebration of some high
Ceremonies are lighted to lighten their darknesse or their ignorance ,
chuse yee whether . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.222)
Moreouer , there I saw a siluer Bell in their Steeple , of thirty pound
weight , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.223)
and the Leades of their steeple shining and sparkeling with the Sunne
beames , they did affirme to mee to bee gold , the truth of which I am
doubtfull of . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.224)
In this towne I stayed foure dayes (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.225)
and on Friday the 14. of September , I went sixe Dutch
miles to the strong towne of Brunswicke , where by
reason of my short stay which was but two houres , I obserued nothing
worthy of memory , but their triple Wals , and double Ditches , there
artillery and fortifications , which they thinke to be impregnable ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.226)
besides , there I saw an old house of the Duke of Brunswicke
, with the statue of a golden Lyon , of a great bignesse ,
standing aloft vpon a Piller , with the broken Wals , and houses ,
which the Dukes Canon hath left there sixe yeares since , as tokens and
badges of his fury , and their rebellion . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,93.C2.227)
From thence on the morrow , I went one Dutch mile further , to an
ancient towne called Wolfunbottle , where
the Duke of Brunswicke keepes his Court , in the which I
and my fellow could get no further admittance , then ouer a bridge into
his outtermost , or base Court ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C1.228)
for his Souldiers seeing vs with Swords and Pistols , were fearefull ,
belike , that wee would haue taken the fortresse from them ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C1.229)
and therefore though we were but two Englishmen , yet they durst not
let vs enter ; which made me call to remembrance the frequent , and
dayly Egresse and Regresse , that all people haue to his Maiesties
Court of Great Britaine , where none that are of any
good fashion and aspect , are debar'd entrance : when those inferiour
Princeshouses are guarded with hungry Halberdiers , and reuurend rusty
bil-men , with a brace or two of hot-shots ; so that their Pallaces are
more like Prisons , then the free and Noble Courts of Commanding
Potentates . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C1.230)
After two dayes entertainment at Wolfunbotle , with an
English Marchant residing there , of good fame and credit , named
Maister Thomas Sackuile , I with my brother , and my
fellow Tilbery , and another man in my company ,
departed thither on foot onward on our iourney towards Bohemia
, in which trauaile , what occurrences happened , and what
things of note I saw , were as followeth . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C1.231)
Passing with many weary steps through the townes of Rosondink ,
Remling , Soulem , Hassen , Darsam , and Haluerstadt
, which is all in Brunswicke land ,
but this towne of Haluerstadt belongs to a
Byshop so stiled , who is Duke Christian brother to the
now Duke of Brunswicke , a long Dutch mile or
almost sixe English is a small towne or a Blecke called
Groning belonging to the Duke , in the which place I obserued
two things worthy of remembrance . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C1.232)
First a most stately Pallace built with a beautifull Chappell , so
adorned with the Images and Formes of Angels and Cherubins , with such
exquisitenesse of arts best industry of caruing , grauing , guilding ,
painting , glazing , and pauing , with such superexcellent workemanship
of Organs , Pulpit , and Font , that for curiositie and admirable
rarenesse , all the Buildings and Fabricks that euer I beheld , must
giue it preheminence . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C1.233)
I confesse that Henry the $seuenth $s {TEXT:seuenths}
Chappell at Westminster , Kings Colledge Chappell in
Cambridge , and Christ Church in
Canterbury , are beyond it in height and workemanship of stone
: (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.234)
for indeed this Chappell is most of wood gipps , and plaster of
Paris ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.235)
but it is so guilded as if it had beene made in the golden age , when
gold was esteemed as Drosse , so that a man had need to weare a vaile
ouer his dazzling eyes , or else he can hardly looke vpon it .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.236)
The caruing and painting seeme to out goe the arts of Pigmalion
, Apelles , or Praxiteles , the pauing of the
chequered blacke and white marble , and the windowes glassed with
Chrystall : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.237)
but all this great cost and shew is very little to the honour of God ,
or the propagation of the Gospell , the edification of the ignorant .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.238)
For in this Church of ease , there is no Seruice .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.239)
If the painted Pulpit could preach , the dumbe Images might
perhaps haue a Sermon now and then ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.240)
for scarce at any time there comes any body into the Chappell , but a
fellow that shewes the beauty of it for two pence or three pence a
peece . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.241)
In the same house , in a place or Celler built of purpose , is a great
tonne or Vessell of wood , that was 7 yeares in making & was vsed to be
filled with Rhenish wine : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.242)
it is said to be twice as big as the vessell at Heidelberg
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.243)
and the hoops of it are twelue inches thicke ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.244)
and the staues or bordes of it being as much ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.245)
I went vp to the top of it with a Ladder of 18. steps ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.246)
he that keepes it saith it will hold tonnes .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.247)
My fellow Tilbery did creepe in at the tap hole ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.248)
it is in length thirty two foot , and in breadth a crosse 19 .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.249)
and verily I thinke that bable cost more money the making , then would
haue built a good ship , or founded an Almes house for 6. poore people
. (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,94.C2.250)
{COM:verse_omitted}
From Groning wee trauailed to a Towne called
Ashers Leauen , to Ashleauen , to
Kinderne , to Hall , and so to Leipzig
, which is one of the chiefest townes in Saxony
, being famous for a yearely Mart that is yearely held there , where to
Merchants and other people from the most part of Christendome haue
annuall concourse : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C1.253)
in this towne we stayd two dayes , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C1.254)
and taking our leaue then of some English Merchants , who vsed vs
kindly , we there would haue hired a coach or waggon to Prague
; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C1.255)
but all the Saxon coach men and carters were afraid to
looke vpon any part of Bohemia , because their Duke is a
profest enemy in armes against the King of Beame , so
that we were forced to hire a fellow with a wheele barrow 2. dayes to
carry our cloaks , swords , guns , pistols , & other apparell & luggage
which were our necessaries , to a towne called Boorne ,
to Froburge , and so to another towne called
Penigh , where we cashierd our one wheel'd coach , & hired a
cart with two , which carried both vs and our baggage to
Chemnizt another towne in Saxony , from whence
to a place called Shop wee were faine to be our owne
sumpter horses walking on foot to the last towne in Saxony
, called Marlenberg .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C1.256)
From thence passing vp and downe inaccessable mountaines , we came to a
wood , which parts Bohemia from Saxony on
the west , which wood is called by the people of those parts the
Beamer Wolts or Wolt , and is in breadth ten
English miles , and length further then I know how to discribe truely :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C1.257)
but this much of it I dare affirme , that it is a naturall impregnable
wall to the kingdome of Bohem , which kingdome is all
incompast round with woods and mountaines , so that there is no passage
on that side of it , for any army to enter into it with munition and
artillery , all the wayes being vneuen , and the mountaine tops all
boggs , mosses , and quagmires , that great Ordnance or any
heauy cariage either-3 of horse , car or waggon , will sinke and be
lost . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.258)
Besides , there are numbers past numbring of Firre trees , many
standing , and such store fallen of themselues , that any passage might
easily be stopped by laying the~ crosse the way .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.259)
And of all my iourny , the trauell through that dismall wood was the
most heauy vnto me , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.260)
for the trees grew so thicke , and so high , that the Sun was obscured
, and the day seemed night ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.261)
in some places , the way was paued with swimming trees 2. miles
together on the tops of Hils , which now and then I slipping beside ,
sunke to the middle in a Quagmire . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.262)
When we had thus footed it , and trauailed past the hils & the woods ,
being at the least 4. houres toyle and that we might
looke downe the mountaines , into the fruitfull Land of Bohem
, neuer did sight more reioyce vs , the lower Hils being all
full of Vineyards and the Vallyes corne and pasture ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.263)
not an English mile distance , but a village euery way ; and or reekes
or stacks of corne which their barnes $can $not {TEXT:cannot} hold , in
the space of euery houres iourney : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.264)
in a word , euery thing that belonged to the vse and commodity of man
was and is there , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.265)
and all the delightfull obiects to satisfie euery sence , is there
abundantly so that nature seemed to make that Country her store house
or granary , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.266)
for there is nothing wanting , except mens gratitude to God for such
blessings . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.267)
The first night we lodged there at a pretty towne called Comoda
, which towne , by negligence and occasion of fire , had fifty
houses burnt , two dayes before our comming thither , it beeing eleuen
Dutch miles from Prague . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.268)
There we hired a waggon 7 dutch miles to a towne called Slowne
from whence we walked on foot a long 16. English miles to
Prague , which long looked for Citty wee could not see
vntill we came within an houres trauell of it :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.269)
within halfe a dutch mile is a fearefull place , being frequented with
inhumaine and barbarous murderrers , that assault trauellers , first
shooting and murdring them , & after searching their pockets , where if
they haue money or not , all is one , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.270)
it is but so many slaine : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.271)
for these villains haue a wood and a deepe valley to shelter themselues
in , that they are hardly taken afterwards ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,95.C2.272)
but if they chance at any time to be but apprehended , they
are racked & tortured to make them confesse ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.273)
& afterwards their executions are very terrible .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.274)
But I thanke God we past that place , & many other as
dangerous as that , where some were robbed & murdered as report
told vs both before vs , behind vs , and on each side :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.275)
and we saw in our journy aboue 7. score Gallowses and wheeles , where
theeues were hanged some fresh , and some halfe rotten , & the carkases
of murtherers , broken limb after limb on the wheeles ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.276)
and yet it was our happines only to see the dead villaines , & escape
the liuing . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.277)
I came into Prague on Thursday the 7. of
September , whither if I had come but the Friday before , I had
seene a most fearfull execution of 2. notorious offenders , the manner
how , with their faults , as it was truely related to me by English
Gent. that saw it : I think it not much impertinent to relate .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.278)
The one of them being taken , apprehended and racked , for ripping vp a
liue woman with child , & for taking the infant out of her body , did
sow a liuing puppy into her belly ; all w=ch= he confessed he did , to
make properties for witch craft : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.279)
and being further tortured , he confessed when and where he had
committed 35. murthers more : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.280)
the other in respect of him was but a petty offender ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.281)
for he in all his lifetime had murthered but 14. For the which
execrable facts , their deserued executions were as followeth :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.282)
First , they were brought out of the Iayle naked from the girdle vpward
; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.283)
and so being bound fast on high in a Cart , that the spectators might
see them ; then the Hangman hauing a pan of coales neere him , with red
hot pincers nip'd off the nipple of one breast ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.284)
then he tooke a knife (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.285)
and giues him a slash or cut downe the backe on one side from the
shoulder to the wast ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.286)
and presently gaue him such another slash , three inches from the first
; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.287)
then on the top he cut the slashes into one ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.288)
and presently taking pincers , tooke hold of the crosse cut ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.289)
& tore him downe like a Girse below the middle , letting it hang downe
behind him like a belt : after which he tooke his burning pincers , &
pluck'd off the tops of his fingers of one hand :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C1.290)
then passing to another place of the Towne , his other nipple was
plucked off , the other side of his backe so cut and mangled ,
which they call by the name of rimming , if it had beene riming
, I would never haue written but in prose his other fingers
nip'd of , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.291)
then passing further all his toes were nip'd off with the burning
pincers after which he was enforced to come out of the Cart , and goe
on foote vp a steepe hill to the Gallowes , where he was broken with a
wheele , aliue , one bone after another , beginning at his legs and
ending with his necke , and last of all quartered and layd on the
wheele , on a high post , till Crowes , Rauens , or consuming time
consume him . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.292)
This was the manner of both their executions ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.293)
but I speake of the greatest murtherer particularly , because it is
reported that all these torments neuer made him once to change
countenance , or to make any signe or action of griefe , to call to God
for mercy , or to intreat the people to pray for him ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.294)
but as if he had beene a sencelesse stocke or stone , hee did most
scornefully , and as it were in disdaine , abide it ; whilst the other
villaine did cry , rore , and make lamentation , calling vpon God often
; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.295)
the difference was not much in their liues , and manner of their deaths
, (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.296)
but I am perswaded the odds was great in their dying .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.297)
The Citty of Prague is almost circular or round , being
diuided in the middle by the Riuer of Moldoue , ouer
which is a faire stone Bridge , of paces ouer , and at each end a
strong gate of stone : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.298)
there is said to be in it of Churches & Chappels ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.299)
for there are great numbers of Catholiques , who have many Chappels
dedicated to sundry S=t=s . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.300)
and I was there at 4. seuerall sorts of diuine exercises , viz.
at good Sermons with the Protestants , at Masse with the
Papists , at a Lutherans preaching , & at the Iewes Synagog ; 3. of
which I saw & heard for curiosity , & the other for edification .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.301)
The Iewes in Prague , are in such great numbers , that
they are thought to be of men , women , and children , betwixt or who
doe all liue by brocage and vsury vpon the Christians , and are very
rich in mony and Iewels , so that a man may see or 12. together of them
, that are accounted worth or l. a piece ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.302)
and yet the slaues goe so miserably attired , that 15. of them are not
worth the hanging for their whole ward-ropes .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,96.C2.303)
The Castle where the King and Queene doe keepe their Court , is
magnificent and sumptuous in building , strongly scituated and
fortified by nature and art , being founded on a high hill
, so that at pleasure it keepes the towne in command ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.304)
and it is much more spacious in roomes for receipt in Gardens &
Orchards , then the Towre of London .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.305)
I was in it dayly the space of dayes , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.306)
and saw it royally graced with the presence of a gracious King & Queene
, who were honorably attended by a gallant Courtly traine of Lords and
Ladies , and Gentles of the High Dutch and
Bohemians , & where was free & bountifull entertainment to
strangers in aboundance : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.307)
I must euer humbly and thankfully acknowledge the Queenes Maiesties
goodnesse towards me , whose vndeserued fauours were helpfull vnto me
both there , and in my tedious iourny homeward .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.308)
Moreouer there I saw & had in mine armes the King and
Queenes youngest Son Prince Robert , who was borne there
on the 16. of December last : a goodly child as euer I saw of that age
, whom with the rest I pray God to blesse ; to his glory and his
Parents joy and comfort . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.309)
{COM:verse_omitted}
The Citty of Prague hath in it by reason of the
wars thrice the number of its owne Inhabitants ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.311)
and yet for all that , victuals is in such great plenty , that sixe men
$can $not {TEXT:cannot} eate three halfe penny worth of bread ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.312)
and I did buy in the Market a fat Goose well roast for the valew of 9.
pence English , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.313)
and I and my brother haue dined there at a Cookes with good roasted
meat , bread & beere , so that we haue beene satisfied and left , for
the valew of fiue pence : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C1.314)
a good Turky there may bee bought for two shillings ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.315)
and for fresh fish I neuer saw such store ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.316)
for in one market day I haue knowne in Prague Carps ,
besides other fishes , which Carps in London are fiue
shillings a piece , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.317)
& there they were for 8. pence or pence at the most , so that one of
their fresh fish markets here , were worth at the least 5. or pounds ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.318)
and as for all other manner of wilde fowle , they are there in satiety
, besides their fruites are in such aboundance , that I bought a basket
of Grapes of the quantity of halfe a pecke for a penny and farthing ,
and a hatfull of faire Peaches for as much ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.319)
picked cowcombers , I haue bought a pecke for three pence ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.320)
and muskmellions , there hath been cast fiue or sixe $carts load of
them in one day to their hogs . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.321)
As concerning the dyet that is in the Kings Armies , I could neuer yet
heare any man complaine of want , but that it is more plentifull then
in the Citty , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.322)
the greatest scarcitie hath beene to some sick souldiers , who being
not able to march with the Leaguers by reason of their
weaknesse they haue been left amongst the Boores , or
Husbandmen in the next villages , where their Languages not vnderstood
, their succor hath euer bin small , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.323)
but for all this in the Campe hath euer bin a continuall cheapnes of
all things , the King most duely paying his Souldiers at the end of
euery month , hauing in his great Leaguer , vnder the conduct of the
Princes of Hollock and Anhalt of foot and
horse and at the least of carts and waggons to carry prouision , and
baggage for the Army , to the number of . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.324)
In his little Leaguer , vnder the leading of Count Mansfelt
, there are of Foot and Horse besides Carts and Waggons for
carriage , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.325)
and yet for these great numbers of men and beasts , there is food in
all aboundance . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.326)
In the Campe with Graue Mansfelt is the Brittaine
Regiment under the Col. Sir Andrew Gray Knight ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.327)
and in Prague I met with many worthy Gentlemen and
Souldiers which were there sicke , as the worthy Captaine
Bushell , Lieutenant Grimes , Lieutenant
Langworth , Ancient Galbreath , Ancient
Vandenbrooke , Master Whitney Master
Blundell , and others , all which did most courteously
entertaine me , vnto whom I must euer rest thankfull ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,97.C2.328)
and they do affirme that now it hath pleased God to grant
their Souldiers recouerie , that they doe hope euery Britaine
Souldier doth retaine more good spirit , then three enemies of
what nation soeuer . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C1.329)
Thus hauing shewed part of the best things in Bohemia ,
the Court and City of Prague , it shall not bee amisse
if I relate a little merrily , of some things there tolerable , some
intolerable , some naught , and some worse than naught ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C1.330)
for as euery Rose hath a prickle , and euery Bee a sting , so no
earthly Kingdome hath such perfection of goodnesse but it may bee
iustly taxed with imperfections . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C1.331)
{COM:verse_omitted}
Thus hauing staid in Prague almost 3. weekes , I
returned from thence homeward , on Tuesday , the 26. of September ,
hauing in my company a widow and foure small children
whose Husband beeing an Englishman and the Kings Brewer for Beere ,
deceased , and was buried there in Prague whilst I was
there : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.334)
the good desolate woman hauing receiued reward after seuen yeares
Seruice there and at Heidelbergh , beeing desirous to
returne to her Country England came
with vs , with my brother , and my fellow Tilbery .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.335)
We tooke two Coaches at the Castle of Prague ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.336)
and in a day and a halfe , we were carried 7. Dutch miles , to a Towne
in Bohemia standing on the riuer of Elue
called Leutmeritz , at w=ch= towne we
all layd our moneyes together , and bought a boat of 48. foot in length
, and not 3. foote in bredth , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.337)
and because we did not know the riuer , we hired a Bohemian
waterman to guide vs 15. dutch miles , to the Towne of
Dreason in Saxony .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.338)
But 4. miles short of that Towne , which was the first Towne in the
Saxon Country , called Pirne , where we
were stayed 5 houres without the Gates , till such time as the
Burgamaster would be pleased to examine vs : in the meane space our
waterman not daring to abide the terrible tryall of examination
, because the Duke of Saxon was in Armes against the
King of Beame , {COM:no_close_paren} he ran away ,
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.339)
and left vs to bring the boat downe the riuer English miles our selues
to Hamburgh . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.340)
But now to close vp all , I will relate what rare dyet , excellent
cookery , and sweet Lodging we had in our journey in Germany
: (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,98.C2.15.341)
first , for our comfort , after very hard gatting of
houseroome our lodginge was euery night in straw , where lying together
well littered , we honestly alwayes left our sheets behinde vs :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.342)
then our suppers at a table square , and so broad , that two men can
hardly shake hands ouer it , we being some twelue about it .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.343)
Our first dish being a raw Cabbadge , of the quantity of halfe a pecke
, cut and chopped small , with the fat of resty bacon powred vpon it in
stead of oyle , which dish must be emptied before we could get any more
: (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.344)
Our second dish perhaps a pecke of boyld apples & hony , the Apples
being boyled skins , cores , stalkes & all :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.345)
Thirdly Gudgeons newly taken perhaps , yet as salt as if they had beene
three yeares pickled , or twice at the East Indies , boyld with scayles
, guts and all , and buried in Ginger like sawdust :
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.346)
a fresh pike as salt as brine , boyld in flat milke , with a pound of
Garlicke . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.347)
This was the manner of the most part of our dyet ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.348)
and if we did aske them why they did salt their meate so vnreasonable ,
there answer was , that their beere could not be consumed , except
their meate were salted extraordinarily . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.349)
If a man finde fault or seeme distasted with there beastly dyet , he is
in danger to be thrust out of doores , and take vp his lodging in the
streets , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.350)
and in the conclusion when dinner or supper is ended , then comes mine
Host , or his leather lip'd Froe , with a fawcy reckoning of what they
please , which sounds in our eares like a harsh Epilogue , after a bad
play ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.351)
for what they say we must pay , their words are irreuocable
like the ancient Kings of Persia
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.352)
and we must not question or aske how and how it can be so much , but
pay them their demand without grumbling , to halfe a farthing . Which
made mee call to mind sixe seuerall principals , that doe belong to a
traueller , as patience , silence , warinesse , watchfulnesse and a
good stomacke , and a purse well moneyed ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.353)
for if he want any one of these , perhaps the other
fiue will neuer bring him to his iournies end .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.354)
A mans patience must be such , that though he be a Barron
he must beare all abuses , either-1 in words , lodging , diet
, or almost any thing , though offered from or by a sowter , tinker ,
or a Merchant of tripes and turneps ; (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C1.355)
his silence must be , that though he beare and vnderstand
himselfe wronged , yet he must be as dumbe as a Gudgeon or a Whiting
mop : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.356)
and though his mouth be shut , his warinesse must be such , that his
eares must be euer open , to listen and ouer-heare all danger that may
be complotted against him , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.357)
his watchfulnesse must be so , that he must seldom sleepe with both his
eyes at once , least his throat be cut before he wake againe .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.358)
But for his stomacke , hee must eat grasse with a horse , and drasse
with the hogs , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.359)
for hee that $can $not {TEXT:cannot} eate pickel'd herring broth , and
dirty puddings , shall many times fast by authority , and goe to bed
without his supper : (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.360)
and last of all he must haue Fortunatus or a Prince his
purse , that must be like a Drunkards dagger euer
drawne , to pay bountifully for such wash and graines , as his valiant
stomacke hath ouercome , conquered and deuoured ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.361)
but of this a little in verse . (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.362)
{COM:verse_omitted}
With this kinde of lodging and dyet , and with tedious labour sometimes
night and day ; wee came in 14. dayes miles from Prague
in Bohemia , to Hambrogh on the hither
skirts of Germany , the Riuer hauing aboue shelues and
sands , and Ilands , so that a man $can $not {TEXT:cannot} see on which
side of them to goe , there being mils chained in boats on the first
streame , and a number numberlesse of Oakes & other trees sunke with
the violence of the Riuer , and sometimes fogs & mists that we could
not see a boats length from vs : besides great Rockes , and stones that
were falne into the water , that any or many of these impediments do
often ouerthrow boates , & drown passengers ;
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.364)
yet I , & my fellow Tilbery we being both his
Maiesties watermen did by Gods assistance safely escape them
all , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,99.C2.365)
and brought our selues , as is afore said , to Hamborogh
, where being windebound dayes , I thanke the English
Merchants , I was well welcommed , vntill at last it pleased God , the
winde came faire , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,100.C1.366)
I tooke ship , (JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,100.C1.367)
and after nine dayes and nights of various weather I giue
praise to the Almighty I came home to my house in
London on Saturday the 28. of September , .
(JOTAYLOR-E2-P2,3,100.C1.368)