The Blind Beggar . (PENNY-E3-P2,141.3)
1686 . (PENNY-E3-P2,141.4)
CHAP. II . (PENNY-E3-P2,141.5)
How Monford arrived in England , and of the cold Entertainment he found
amongst his Relations ; how he came to Bednal-Green , and settling
himself there , he continud to Begg for his Living , etc.
(PENNY-E3-P2,141.6)
Monford escaping a Storm at Sea , in his Return Landed with his
Vertuous Wife on the Coast of Essex , where he had some considerable
Relations , to whom in this necessity they applyed themselves for
succour , (PENNY-E3-P2,141.8)
but they either not desirous of his Company , who after the death of
his Parents had wasted much of his Patrimony , or fearing in that
condition he might be chargeable to them , would not know him ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,141.9)
and those that were convinced he was the same Monford that went over
into France , gave him but cold Entertainment , insomuch that scorning
to rely upon their Charity , he told the kind Partner of his joy and
sorrow , that he intended early in the morning to hast towards London ,
and that he would rather trust to Providence then to the ingratitude of
those who in his prosperous days had Carressed him in a high manner ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,141.10)
and so without taking Leave of any , Early in the morning they departed
; (PENNY-E3-P2,141.11)
and in two days travelling having spent the little Money they
had reserved necessity that has no Law , so far humbled his
high Spirit , that he did not think it amiss especially in
places where he was not known to crave the Charity of the
People as he passed through several good Towns , who understanding that
he came by his misfortune in fighting for the Honour of his Country ,
gave very Liberally , insomuch that he resolved to be of good chear ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,141.12)
and thereupon considering with himself that he was never brought up to
Labour , or if he had , the Loss of his Sight had rendred him
incapable of business , he resolved to embrace what Providence had cast
in his way : Which was , to live upon Charity , which he found to flow
in upon him faster then he expected : Whereupon arriving at
Bednal-Green , a place near London , he with the little Money he had
got , hired a small Cottage for his Wife and himself ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,142.13)
and daily appearing publick to crave Alms , was from thence called the
Beggar of Bednal-Green , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.14)
and in a short time found it a thriveing Trade , insomuch that his Bed
of Straw was changed into Down , and his Earthen Platters and other
Utensils into a better Sort . (PENNY-E3-P2,142.15)
His Wife whilst he begged abroad not being idle at home , but Laboured
at the Wheel and such other matters as in her younger years she had
learned . (PENNY-E3-P2,142.16)
CHAP. III (PENNY-E3-P2,142.18)
How Monford happened to meet with Snap an Old Experienced Beggar , who
gave him an insight into the mistery of the canting Tribe , and how he
invited him to their general Randesvouze , etc. (PENNY-E3-P2,142.19)
Monford resolving in this kind of way to spend the remainder of his
Days , that he might humble himself for his former offences , having
plyed it with good success in the place where he lived , by the Road
side he was incountred one day by an Old Proficient at that Trade , who
seeing him Diligent , became greatly desirous of his acquaintance , and
to know what Gang he belonged to , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.21)
and began to Cant as is usual amongst such seasoned Sticks of
that Profession of which kind of Speech being known to none
but themselves , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.22)
Monford being ignorant , could make him no direct answer ; which the
other , whose Name was Snap , perceiving , and thereby knowing him to
be a young beginner , invited him to their Feasts or rendesvouze in
White-Chappel , whither he having promised to come , and they between
them tip'd off four Black Pots of Hum they at that time parted .
(PENNY-E3-P2,142.23)
CHAP. IV . (PENNY-E3-P2,143.26)
How Monford went to the Beggars Feast , and of his Entertainment as
also of the Present they made him , etc. (PENNY-E3-P2,143.27)
Monford upon his coming home , declared to his Wife what a merry
Companion he had met with , and what discourse they had , as likewise
what he had promised , entreating her to get things in a readiness ,
that she might be at leasure to conduct him thither , where appeared ,
instead of a ragged Regiment of Lame , Blind , and Dumb , there was a
rout of jovial Dancers , as gay as the Spring , and as merry as the
Maids ; which made them imagine they were either mistaken in the place
, or had been imposed upon (PENNY-E3-P2,143.29)
and therefore were about to retire , had not Snap who knew Monford at
first Blush , started from his Chair where he sat Supervizor in all his
Gallantry , and taking him by the hand , let him know who he was , and
afterward presented him to the whole Assembly , who received him as a
Brother or Member of their Society , each by the order of Snap
paying him a Complement : (PENNY-E3-P2,143.30)
and that for the future he might not want a Guide on all occasion ,
Snap in the name of the rest presented him with a Dog and a Bell
trained to the Business , (PENNY-E3-P2,143.31)
and had before been the Companion of an Eyeless Beggar deceased ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,143.32)
and so having Feasted him and his Spouse in a Splendid manner , they
dismissed him , upon his promise that he would not be wanting at that
yearly meeting ; (PENNY-E3-P2,143.33)
and being dismissed , he trudged home with his tractable Guide , which
ever after proved serviceable to him .... (PENNY-E3-P2,143.34)
The Sack-ful of News . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.37)
1685 . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.38)
... Another . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.39)
There was an old man that could not well see , who had a fair young
Wife , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.41)
and with them dwelt a young man , which had long wooed his Mistris to
have his pleasure of her , who at last consented to him ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.42)
but they knew not how to bring it to pass , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.43)
for she did never go abroad , but in her husbands company ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.44)
and lead him alwaies . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.45)
At last she deviled a very fine shift , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.46)
and bid her servant that he should that night about midnight come into
her chamber where her Husband and she lay , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.47)
& she would find some device for him . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.48)
Night came , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.49)
and the old man and wife went to bed , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.50)
but she slept not a wink , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.51)
but thought still upon her pretended purpose , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.52)
but a little before the time prefixed , she awakened her Husband ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.53)
& said thus unto him : Sir , I will tell you a thing in secret , which
your servant was purposed to do ; (PENNY-E3-P2,162.54)
when I am alone I can never be quiet for him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.55)
but he is always inticing me to have me at his will ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.56)
and so at the last to be quiet with him , I consented to meet him in
the Garden , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.57)
but for mine Honesties sake I will not . Wherefore I pray you put on my
clothes and go meet him : (PENNY-E3-P2,162.58)
so when he comes to you , beat him well , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.59)
and chide him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.60)
for I know well he will not strike you , because you are his Master ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.61)
and then he may amend himself & prove a good servant :
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.62)
& the man was well pleased therewith . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.63)
So the good man put on his wives Cloaths , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.64)
and took a good Cudgel in his hand , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.65)
& went into the garden . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.66)
At length there came the servant to his mistris , where she lay in bed
, (PENNY-E3-P2,162.67)
and did what he would with her , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.68)
and she was content , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.69)
& then she told him how she had sent her Husband into the garden in her
apparel , & wherefore , and to what purpose . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.70)
So her servant arose , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.71)
and as she bade him , took a good staff with him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.72)
and went into the garden , as though he knew not it was his master ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,162.73)
& said unto him : Nay you whore , I did this but only to prove
thee whether thou wouldest be false to my good master , and not that I
would do such a vile thing with thee : whereupon he fell upon his
Master , giving him many sore stripes , & beating him most cruelly ,
still calling him nothing but , out you Whore , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.74)
will you offer this abuse to my good Master : (PENNY-E3-P2,163.75)
Alas , qd. his Master good John , I am thy Master ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.76)
strike me nomore I pray thee . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.77)
Nay whore qd. he I know who thou are well enough ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.78)
& so he strook him again , beating him most grievously .
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.79)
Good John said his Master feel , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.80)
I have a Beard , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.81)
Then the servant felt knowing well who it was who
presently kneeled down and cryed his Master mercy .
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.82)
Now thanks be to God qd. his Master
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.83)
I have as good a servant of thee as a man can have ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.84)
and I have as good a Wife as the World affords . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.85)
Afterwards the Master went to bed , & his servant also .
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.86)
When the old man came to bed to his wife ; she demanded of him how he
sped : (PENNY-E3-P2,163.87)
He answered and said , By my troth Wife , I have the trustiest servant
in the world , & as faithful a Wife ; (PENNY-E3-P2,163.88)
for my Servant came thither with a great staff (PENNY-E3-P2,163.89)
& did beat me right sore , thinking it had been you , wherefore I was
well pleased therewith . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.90)
But ever after the Servant was well beloved of his Master , but better
of his Mistris : (PENNY-E3-P2,163.91)
for his Master had no mistrust of him , though he had made him a
Cuckold . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.92)
so the poor man was cruelly beaten , and made Summers Bird nevertheless
... (PENNY-E3-P2,163.93)
... Another . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.95)
There was a Priest in the Country which had christened a Child ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,163.97)
and when he had christened it , he & the Clerk were biden to the
drinking that should be there , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.98)
and thither they went with other people , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.99)
and being there , the Priest drank (PENNY-E3-P2,163.100)
and made so merry , that he was quite foxed , and thought to go home
before he laid him down to sleep ; (PENNY-E3-P2,163.101)
but having gone a little way , he grew so drowsie , that he
could go no further , but laid him down by a ditch-side so that his
feet did hang in the water , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.102)
& lying on his back , the Moon shined in his face :
(PENNY-E3-P2,164.103)
thus he lay till the rest of the company came from drinking , who as
they came home found the Priest lying as aforesaid ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,164.104)
and they thought to get him away , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.105)
but do-1 what they could he would no rise , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.106)
but said , Do no meddle with me , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.107)
for I lye very well , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.108)
and will not stir hence before the morning , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.109)
but I pray lay some more clothes on my feet , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.110)
and blow out the Candle , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.111)
and let me lye and take my rest . (PENNY-E3-P2,164.112)
Another . (PENNY-E3-P2,164.114)
There was once a Country-man , which came to London , where he had
never been before , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.116)
and as he went over London bridge , he saw certain Ships sailing ,
being the first time he had seen any (PENNY-E3-P2,164.117)
& perceiving the Sails made of cloath , he thought to assay if his
Plough would go so , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.118)
and when he came home , he caused his Wife to give him a large new
Sheet , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.119)
and went (PENNY-E3-P2,164.120)
and set it on the Plough like a Sail , thinking the Plough would go
with the Wind , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.121)
but it removed not . Which when he saw , he said what the Devil , have
I spoiled my sheet about nothing ? (PENNY-E3-P2,164.122)
so set his Horses to the Plough again ... (PENNY-E3-P2,164.123)
Humphry Frollicksome . (PENNY-E3-P2,165.126)
... Sir Humphrys Journey up to London ; And his putting a Trick upon
his Brother ; And how he got himself reconciled again to his Father .
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.127)
Sir Humphry having now raised his Fortune to so high a pitch in so
short a time , was inclined to let himself loose to his accustomed
Pleasures ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.129)
and having heard much of the Fame of London , he had a longing desire
to see that place , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.130)
and to satisfie his Curiosity , he takes his Journey that way ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.131)
and having eased himself of the burthen of Necessity , he resolved to
travel like a Gentleman , and lay aside all his Politick Contrivances ,
till Poverty should oblige him to make use of them again :
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.132)
so up to the City of London he came , well mounted , and his Pockets
lined with the best of Coyn ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.133)
his Journey was very prosperous and pleasant , not meeting with any
interruption in all his passage , in which he found a great deal of
satisfaction : (PENNY-E3-P2,165.134)
When he had reach'd London , that Famous City , in which his desire was
lodged , he was mightily pleased with the Noble Fabricks and the many
Grandeurs he had not before seen ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.135)
and when he had taken up his Lodging and provided himself all things
necessary to his Settlement , he walks about , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.136)
and makes what enquiry he could after some that been formerly his
Acquaintance at Oxford , that they might introduce him into a farther
knowledge of the Town , to which he was a perfect stranger :
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.137)
He had not made this his business long , but Fortune so favoured him ,
that he met one by meer accident , who had been his intimate Friend and
Acquaintance , who were both mightily surprized , and extremely glad to
see each other ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.138)
and after a kind salutation on both sides , they consented to carrouse
one hearty Bottle to their happy meeting , and to laugh at old passages
, in which they had been both concerned ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.139)
and in their discourse Sir Humphrys Friend happened to inform ,
that his Father and his Brother was in Town , and that he had seen them
not above two days ago ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.140)
Sir Humphry replyed , he was very glad to hear it ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.141)
and being both intimate together , and sufficiently assured of one
anothers friendship , said , that he would lay hold of the first
opportunity he could , to make himself amends for the Injury his
Brother had done him , in being an Instrument in putting his Father and
him at variance ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.142)
and enquired of his Friend where it was he lodg'd , who gave him an
account of every matter requisite for Sir Humphrys purpose ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.143)
and when they had laughed and chatted three or four hours , it began to
grow late , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.144)
and the Wine had almost turned their Noddles top-side turvey ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.145)
they thought it time to part , and to retire home to their respective
Habitations ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.146)
so they pay'd their Reckoning , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.147)
and Sir Humphry desired his friend not to take notice to his Father of
his being in Town , who assured he would not ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.148)
and when they had appointed where to meet the next time , they took a
kind leave of one another , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.149)
and so parted . (PENNY-E3-P2,165.150)
And as Sir Humphry in his Cups being a little more Frollicksome
than ordinary happened to ramble some way by a House that was
new building , where he heard something rustle in the dark Cellar ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.151)
and resolved to see what it was , steps in , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.152)
and asks , $Who $'s {TEXT:Who's} there ? (PENNY-E3-P2,165.153)
It happened to be a poor Beggar-wench , about Eighteen years of Age ,
who replyed , Nothing Sir but a poor Girl , who is
forc'd to lye here , for want of a better habitation .
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.154)
Sir Humphry steps in (PENNY-E3-P2,165.155)
and swore he would bear her company a little , before he went any
further , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.156)
and catched hold of the wench , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.157)
and fell a tumbling and touzing her , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.158)
and askt her how she could make shift to lye in so cold a dwelling ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,165.159)
she told him , she had made her a Bed of Shavings in the next Cellar ,
which was warmer ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.160)
and Sir Humphry being desirous to see it , entreated the Wench to
conduct him into her Bed-Chamber , which according to his request she
did , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.161)
and down she and Sir Humphry lay together , who began to be very brisk
with her , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.162)
and she being loth to deny him the Civility of a Female Bed-fellow ,
but receiv'd his close embraces as a courteous obligation . When the
heat of Pastime began to be over , and Sir Humphry considering what he
had done , resolved to contrive a way to lay this Action as a
Scandal upon his Brother . (PENNY-E3-P2,167.163)
By this time the Wench began to lay open her unfortunate Condition ,
and to desire some Charity from Sir Humphry , for her Relief , which
Request put him in mind of the Outlandish piece of money he had
privately taken from his Brother , who never knew which way he had lost
it , thinking That would be a good Instrument to make his Father really
believe his Brother to be guilty of the thing which he designed to put
upon him , which was the chief hopes of Sir Humphry , who told her , he
had spent that day what money he had brought out with him , and had
{TEXT:had_and} nothing left but an Outlandish piece of money ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,167.164)
and that he gave her , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.165)
and bid her come tomorrow to his Lodging , directing her to the place
where his Father and Brother lay , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.166)
and goes himself by his Brothers Name , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.167)
and bids her ask for him , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.168)
and bid her send up that piece of money , as a Token , by any of the
Servants , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.169)
and then he should know her business , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.170)
and would send her down half a Piece ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.171)
the Wench was mighty thankful , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.172)
and said , she would be sure to come : (PENNY-E3-P2,167.173)
so Sir Humphry took his leave , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.174)
and left her where he found her , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.175)
and went home to Bed , hoping this design would work .
(PENNY-E3-P2,167.176)
The next day the Wench , according to his order , went to the place he
had directed her , expecting it to be Sir Humphrys Lodging , where she
knocks , and asks for Sir Humphry's Brother , expecting him to be the
same man she had before seen ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.177)
the Father being in the Entry , wondring what such a draggle-tail'd
wench would have with his Son , goes to her , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.178)
and enquires her business ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.179)
the wench gives him the Token , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.180)
and desires him to give the Gentleman that , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.181)
and he would presently know her business : (PENNY-E3-P2,167.182)
The Father knowing the piece of Coyn to be his Sons , that was given
him as a Token by his Grandmother , wondered the more how such a Wench
came by it ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.183)
so he calls the Girl within the Doors , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.184)
and there began to be mighty inquisitive , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.185)
and examined her strictly how she came by that piece of money and what
was the business she came to his Son about , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.186)
and threatned the Girl with hard words into so many fears , that at
last she told him the whole circumstance of the matter ; which
put the Old Man into such a lamentable fury , that he coughed himself
half dead with meer passion ; his Son being not within all this time to
vindicate himself before the wenches Face , who got away as soon as she
could , and was glad to escape the old Gentlemans Rage .
(PENNY-E3-P2,168.187)
In this Agony of vexation the Old Man continued , exclaiming against
his Son for a Reprobate-Rascal , who poor Gentleman , knew nothing of
the matter ; (PENNY-E3-P2,168.188)
at last home he came , where he no sooner entred , but the old man met
him with a lusty Cudgel , and fell to belabouring {COM:picture_omitted}
him with all the Vigour that fumbling old Age could lay upon
him , crying out , Thou Villain , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} teach you to have
your draggle-tail'd Sluts come after you for Money ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,169.189)
and you must give them Tokens , with a Pox to you ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,169.190)
and $i $'ll {TEXT:i'le} give you a Token to remember me too before I
part with you . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.191)
The Son cryed out for mercy , denying all his Father accused him with ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,169.192)
but nothing could curb the Old mans passion ; (PENNY-E3-P2,169.193)
and when he thought he had bang'd him sufficiently , he turns him out
of doors , not giving him the liberty to speak one word for himself ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,169.194)
and vowed he would never see him no more . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.195)
The poor Gentleman thought the Devil was in his Father , to accuse him
with what he knew nothing of , and to beat him so unmercifully ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,169.196)
neither could he imagine what was the meaning of it .
(PENNY-E3-P2,169.197)
Sir Humphry hearing his design had took so effectually , resolved to
take this opportunity of submitting himself to his Father , which he
accordingly did , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.198)
and by the endeavour of some Friends , got him throughly reconciled to
him , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.199)
and was placed again in the same splendid Station he had formerly lived
in , leaving his Brother in the same condition that he himself was
freed from . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.200)
The Life and Death of Sheffery ap Morgan . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.204)
CHAP. I. (PENNY-E3-P2,200.206)
Of Sheffery's Birth and Education . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.207)
The Person we intend to insist upon in this following Discourse , is
one Sheffery Morgan , who was born near Denby , a place eminently known
in Wales , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.209)
His Father being a Man of no small account , kept two or three Hoggs ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,200.210)
and Brewed week for week the Year round , half a peck of Malt ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,200.211)
Her {COM:meaning_'his',_a_common_parody_of_welsh_speech} being a man so
well to pass in the world , resolved to bring up her son Sheffery
Scolar-like ; (PENNY-E3-P2,200.212)
and in order thereunto put him to the greatest school in those parts ,
where he improved his time so well , that in six or seven Years he was
able to Spell his own Name with a small matter of help .
(PENNY-E3-P2,200.213)
But not long after , her fond Father supposed her fit for the
University , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.214)
and disposed of her accordingly ; (PENNY-E3-P2,200.215)
but Jeffry grew negligent , unknown to her Father ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,200.216)
and minded more her Waggish Pastimes than her serious Studdy ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,200.217)
and her Father supposing her to be capable to manage a Parsons place ,
took a Fatherly care of her , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.218)
and went to the Bishop of that Diocess , making sute for a Benefice for
her , which was granted , provided that her should preach a Sermon of
Approbation . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.219)
Did Shon ap Morgan being joyful of this answer from the Bishop , writ
Post to her Son Sheffry , wishing her with all speed to come ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,200.220)
for her was likely to become a Welsh Parson , and have a Benifice of l.
per annum . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.221)
These good Tydings so tickled the Ear of our young Parson , that her
omitted no opportunity , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.222)
but took Horse (PENNY-E3-P2,200.223)
and rid full speed to her Fathers House in Wales , who told her all the
matter in hand ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.224)
but when her heard that her was to preach before her could have her
money , her knew not what to think on't . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.225)
The day appointed drawing nigh when Sheffery was to Preach , being
sensible of her inability , her knew not what course to take , or how
her should perform her Task imposed upon her ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.226)
sometimes her thought to fly from the presence of the Bishop and her
Father both , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.227)
and then contradicted that thought with this Resolution , That if he
could not do as well as he should , that he would do as well as he
could . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.228)
So the day being come , Sheffery lay somewhat long a Bed ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.229)
and seemed to have small stomach to his new Concern ; which her Father
perceiving , stept up to give her a call , telling her the Saints Bell
had rung in : (PENNY-E3-P2,201.230)
O Father , said her , I am in a brown Study , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.231)
look Father upon the top of Mr. Quibus his House ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.232)
and behold a Cow-Curd that lyes there ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.233)
and I have been studying how it might be ; whether the top of the House
came down to the Cow , or whether the Cow went up to the top of the
House ! (PENNY-E3-P2,201.234)
O fie Son , this is idle discourse , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.235)
come (PENNY-E3-P2,201.236)
make hast , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.237)
for it draws near ten a Clock , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.238)
the Bishop and the people begin to think you long .
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.239)
Well Father I have but a short Sermon to make , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.240)
but it is such a Tickler as has not been Preached at your Church ,
since you came to the Parish , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.241)
well Son , I shall leave that to your Judgment . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.242)
Sheffery no sooner enters the Church , but he steps into the Pulpit ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.243)
and begins as followeth . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.244)
Good people all , her knows there is something expected from her by way
of Discourse , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.245)
and seeing we are all met together , take this following matter as an
undeniable Truth . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.246)
There are some Things that I know and you know not ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.247)
and there are some Things that you know , and I know not ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.248)
and there are some Things that neither I nor you know .
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.249)
For thus , As I went over a stile I tore my Breeches ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,201.250)
that I know and you know not ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.251)
but what you will give me towards the mending of them , that you know ,
and I know not , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.252)
but what the Knave the Taylor will have for mending them , that neither
you nor I know . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.253)
The Bishop hearing such a strange Welsh discourse delivered as
a Sermon , fell into such a laughter , that he laughed himself into a
Looseness , that he was forced to carry his Arse under his Arm ever
after ; (PENNY-E3-P2,202.254)
and Old Shon ap Morgan fell into such a passion , that her solemnly
protested , her would Dis-inherit her Son Sheffery ...
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.255)
CHAP. III . (PENNY-E3-P2,202.257)
How Sheffery being weary of London , and short of Money , took a
Journey toward the North ; and how he got the good Will of a Sow ,
which prov'd the first rise of Sheffery's Fortune .
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.258)
Sheffery being forsaken of her Countrymen , & allmost mony-less ,
wandred to and fro feasting her Eyes , but starving her Belly ,
resolved to travel farther towards the North : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.260)
her had not gone above miles , but her was surprized by the dismal
night , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.261)
and being unacquainted with the way , lost her self ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.262)
and wandred up and down , till at last her hapned upon a small Cottage
, (PENNY-E3-P2,202.263)
and knocking at the door , her asked how far it might be to the next
Town ? (PENNY-E3-P2,202.264)
the old Man answered : he was far from any Town or House except his :
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.265)
them {COM:sic} Sheffery craved for Entertainment for that night ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.266)
but the old Man reply'd , he had no convenience , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.267)
but her pressed hard for Lodging ; (PENNY-E3-P2,202.268)
so the old Man said , I have no place for you , except you will lie
with our old Sow , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.269)
with all her heart , quoth Sheffery . (PENNY-E3-P2,202.270)
This being agreed , on they went to their Bed , and Sheffery to the
Hogg-Stye , which joyned to the House , near the old Man and Womans
Beds-head : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.271)
Sheffery having but a sorry Lodging and a turbulent Bed-fellow , took
no rest at all : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.272)
the old Man and Woman waking about midnight , fell in discourse ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.273)
quoth the old Woman , Husband , what if the young man should fall in
love with our Sow , and forthwith get her good will to be Married ?
(PENNY-E3-P2,202.274)
Who , quoth the old Man , should be against her Preferment , if they
like each other ? (PENNY-E3-P2,202.275)
Ah ! but Husband , she hath been a good Old Servant to us ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.276)
and if ever she goes , I hope you will bestow something with her :
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.277)
Well , well , Wife , I $shall $n't {TEXT:shan't} be backward ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.278)
but ten or twenty pound I will bestow if the Man be deserving .
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.279)
Sheffery minding their Discourse , arose (PENNY-E3-P2,203.280)
and went into a Carrot field near by , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.281)
and pull'd some up , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.282)
and brought them to the Sow , giving her plentifully to eat ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.283)
then tyed the rest about his middle , underneath his Coat :
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.284)
& going into the house to return thanks for his nights Lodging , the
Sow having tasted the sweetness of the Carrots , rav'd as though she
would have torn down the stye , longing for more Carrots ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.285)
the old Woman hearing the Sow to rave , cry'd out to her Husband , What
is the matter with our Sow ? (PENNY-E3-P2,203.286)
Quoth Sheffery , her can tell best what is the matter ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.287)
for her and I have made a match to be Marry'd (PENNY-E3-P2,203.288)
and now she finding me to be gone without her , causeth her to rave in
this sort ? (PENNY-E3-P2,203.289)
The old Woman runs with speed to her Husband , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.290)
and said , Cuts hobby Husband , I told you our Sow is in love with the
Young Man . (PENNY-E3-P2,203.291)
Ah ! but quoth her , that must be farther try'd , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.292)
$i $'ll {TEXT:i'le} see first whether she will follow him sooner than
another ; (PENNY-E3-P2,203.293)
and letting her out , she ran directly at him , and taking hold on him
, as if she loved him above others ; (PENNY-E3-P2,203.294)
the Old Man seeing this , was much satisfied , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.295)
and call'd Sheffery in , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.296)
and laid him down pound , wishing them much joy together :
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.297)
This being done , Sheffery took her leave of the old people
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.298)
and went her way , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.299)
by the smell of the Carrots the Sow followed him , which the Old Woman
spying , she cry'd out , Come hither Mistris Bride ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.300)
pray stay (PENNY-E3-P2,203.301)
and take my best hat with you , which she did , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.302)
and look'd like Mother Shipton with her long nose ...
(PENNY-E3-P2,203.303)
Black Tom . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.307)
1686 (PENNY-E3-P2,209.309)
... CHAP. II . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.310)
How this Young Tom came to be known , and how he went by the Name of
Black Tom ; and what befell . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.311)
When Tom was grown to be a Man , as lusty and as strong a Thief as his
Father , he told his Father he would now set up for himself ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,209.313)
and when they were both agreed , Tom took his leave in the Evening ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,209.314)
and went for Wapping , where he goes to a House standing nigh to the
Thames : (PENNY-E3-P2,209.315)
There he enter'd , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.316)
and call'd for a Pot of Ale ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.317)
and as he sat drinking his Ale , in the next room were sitting very
merrily over a Bowl of Punch , a Company of jovial Drunken Sea-men ,
which Tom observed to make a noise , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.318)
he also falls to singing as well as they . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.319)
The Sea-men observing him to be so merry a Fellow , call'd him in
amongst them ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.320)
and after he had saluted the Company , and drank a dish of Punch or two
, they ask'd him to sing them a merry Song to pass the time away :
(PENNY-E3-P2,209.321)
But he cryed no , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.322)
$let $'s {TEXT:let's} rather drink while we are by land ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,209.323)
for you are always hard employ'd upon the Sea ; which Proposal pleas'd
the Sea-men so well , that they oblieg'd themselves to follow Tom's
example ; who thereupon began so many Healths one after another , that
the Sea-men not being so fresh as he , by degrees fell fast asleep .
(PENNY-E3-P2,209.324)
Now Tom minding his opportunity , insensibly creeps to their Pockets ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,209.325)
and takes away all the Money they had , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.326)
and when he had discharg'd the Reckoning , took his leave of his
Hostess (PENNY-E3-P2,209.327)
and went off : (PENNY-E3-P2,209.328)
but the Sea-men waking , and missing their Money , began to curse and
swear at the Black Dog most bitterly ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.329)
and one of them remembering that his name was Tom , resolved to put him
in the Gazette by the name of Black Tom , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.330)
but they being almost Drunk , when he came first amongst them , that
they could not remember what sort of Cloaths he wore , or
whether his Visage was round or long , or his Body by stature tall or
short . So that one of them coming one day by Charing-Cross , saw a
Black behind a Gentlemans Coach , cryed out very eagerly to the
Coach-man to stop his Horses : (PENNY-E3-P2,210.331)
and then eagerly running to the Foot-man behind the Coach , lay'd hold
on him , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.332)
and causing a Constable to be call'd , had the poor Man before a
Justice , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.333)
and swore against him , That he was the very Man that Rob'd him at such
a time , and such a place ; (PENNY-E3-P2,210.334)
But the Youth making it appear that he was not there , but was employed
on some business for his Lady , was clear'd , and the Man look'd upon
as Mad . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.335)
CHAP. III . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.337)
How Black Tom committed a Robbery at St. Katherines , and how he came
off . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.338)
After Tom and the Sea-men had parted , Tom takes a Boat ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,210.340)
and Rows to St. Katherines , where he lay three days before he heard of
any thing fit for his purpose : (PENNY-E3-P2,210.341)
At last entring into Discourse with his Landlady , Lord , Landlady ,
says he I admire some People that are Rich , and but
few in Family , are not afraid to stay out of their Houses , especially
by Night , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.342)
so many loitering idle Fellows as lie here about !
(PENNY-E3-P2,210.343)
Indeed Sir , says she {COM:no_matching_open_paren} I wonder as
much as you do ; (PENNY-E3-P2,210.344)
but above all People in St. Katherines , I admire at my next Neighbour
, that hath always good store of Plate , and Coin of Gold and Silver
always by her , that she dares lye alone , or with none but a poor
simple Girl , that is her Servant ; especially having such a weak Old
House , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.345)
and by my truly , sometimes they both go out ; (PENNY-E3-P2,210.346)
and one perhaps has got the Key of the Door , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.347)
and the other coming home , wanting the Key , will lift the Door off
the Hinges : Which hath been done so often , that it comes off now
without any noise . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.348)
Indeed Landlady , says Tom $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} a great
Miracle to me , that they escape so well . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.349)
Now Tom being very glad of this News , after a small meditation what to
do , tells his Landlady , That he was invited out , and should be
pretty late before he could come in that Night , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.351)
and therefore desires her not to sit up late for him ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.352)
and so departed till toward Night , which time he imployed in viewing
the House , to see how or where he might break in most easily .
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.353)
At last considering that his Landladys way was the best , he would stay
till Night , and venture at the Door , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.354)
therefore he goes to an Ale-house hard by , to spend his time .
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.355)
But not long after the Watch had passed by , crying the time of the
Night , out goes Tom ; who coming to the Door , and gently renches it
off the Hinges , goes up the Stairs , and finding every body fast
{COM:asleep} , opens a Coffer , in which was a Till or Drawer , from
whence Tom takes an Hundred pounds , besides Jewels and Rings ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.356)
so being very well contented with his prize , was preparing to go off ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.357)
but the Watch was passing by , whose custome is to knock at the Doors ,
and if they be open , to call upon the People to shut them ;
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.358)
but Tom was got withoutside the Door endeavouring to fasten it again .
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.359)
Now the Watch-men finding the Door off the Hinges , began to think that
Mr. Thomas had committed a fault , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.360)
and therefore took him into examination . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.361)
Now Tom told them that it was his own House , and he had some occasion
to go out , and could not find his Key until he had lifted the Door off
the Hinges ; (PENNY-E3-P2,211.362)
and if they would not believe it was his House , they might come in ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,211.363)
and he would make them drink for their pains . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.364)
Now as $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} not the custome of Watch-men to deny drink
at any time , they entered into the House : (PENNY-E3-P2,211.365)
Now Tom taking down a Mug from the Shelf , and going to the Door ,
praying them not to make any noise , under pretension of going to fetch
drink , ran quite away . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.366)
Now the Constable having a Drunken Man that was scarce able to go with
him , commanded one of the Watch-men to stay there with him , until Mr.
Black Thomas should come in , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.367)
and because the poor Man look'd like a Gentleman , should beg Mr. Black
Thomas to lend him a Bed , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.368)
so the Constable and part of the Watch departed . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.369)
Now Mr. Black Thomas not returning , the Gentleman that was o'recome
with drink fell fast asleep , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.370)
and likewise the Watch-man being in the dark , and no body left
to talk to , fell fast asleep also ; (PENNY-E3-P2,212.371)
and slept soundly until the Morning , that the woman of the House
finding her Coffer open , and her Money gone , came happily down , and
caused them to be seized , as Men guilty of Burglary and Robbery ,
(PENNY-E3-P2,212.372)
and had them before the Justice , (PENNY-E3-P2,212.373)
and he had committed them , had not the Constable and Watch come and
cleared them . (PENNY-E3-P2,212.374)
Thus Black Tom came off . (PENNY-E3-P2,212.375)