The Blind Beggar . (PENNY-E3-P2,141.3) 1686 . (PENNY-E3-P2,141.4) CHAP. II . (PENNY-E3-P2,141.5) How Monford arrived in England , and of the cold Entertainment he found amongst his Relations ; how he came to Bednal-Green , and settling himself there , he continud to Begg for his Living , etc. (PENNY-E3-P2,141.6) Monford escaping a Storm at Sea , in his Return Landed with his Vertuous Wife on the Coast of Essex , where he had some considerable Relations , to whom in this necessity they applyed themselves for succour , (PENNY-E3-P2,141.8) but they either not desirous of his Company , who after the death of his Parents had wasted much of his Patrimony , or fearing in that condition he might be chargeable to them , would not know him , (PENNY-E3-P2,141.9) and those that were convinced he was the same Monford that went over into France , gave him but cold Entertainment , insomuch that scorning to rely upon their Charity , he told the kind Partner of his joy and sorrow , that he intended early in the morning to hast towards London , and that he would rather trust to Providence then to the ingratitude of those who in his prosperous days had Carressed him in a high manner ; (PENNY-E3-P2,141.10) and so without taking Leave of any , Early in the morning they departed ; (PENNY-E3-P2,141.11) and in two days travelling having spent the little Money they had reserved necessity that has no Law , so far humbled his high Spirit , that he did not think it amiss especially in places where he was not known to crave the Charity of the People as he passed through several good Towns , who understanding that he came by his misfortune in fighting for the Honour of his Country , gave very Liberally , insomuch that he resolved to be of good chear , (PENNY-E3-P2,141.12) and thereupon considering with himself that he was never brought up to Labour , or if he had , the Loss of his Sight had rendred him incapable of business , he resolved to embrace what Providence had cast in his way : Which was , to live upon Charity , which he found to flow in upon him faster then he expected : Whereupon arriving at Bednal-Green , a place near London , he with the little Money he had got , hired a small Cottage for his Wife and himself , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.13) and daily appearing publick to crave Alms , was from thence called the Beggar of Bednal-Green , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.14) and in a short time found it a thriveing Trade , insomuch that his Bed of Straw was changed into Down , and his Earthen Platters and other Utensils into a better Sort . (PENNY-E3-P2,142.15) His Wife whilst he begged abroad not being idle at home , but Laboured at the Wheel and such other matters as in her younger years she had learned . (PENNY-E3-P2,142.16) CHAP. III (PENNY-E3-P2,142.18) How Monford happened to meet with Snap an Old Experienced Beggar , who gave him an insight into the mistery of the canting Tribe , and how he invited him to their general Randesvouze , etc. (PENNY-E3-P2,142.19) Monford resolving in this kind of way to spend the remainder of his Days , that he might humble himself for his former offences , having plyed it with good success in the place where he lived , by the Road side he was incountred one day by an Old Proficient at that Trade , who seeing him Diligent , became greatly desirous of his acquaintance , and to know what Gang he belonged to , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.21) and began to Cant as is usual amongst such seasoned Sticks of that Profession of which kind of Speech being known to none but themselves , (PENNY-E3-P2,142.22) Monford being ignorant , could make him no direct answer ; which the other , whose Name was Snap , perceiving , and thereby knowing him to be a young beginner , invited him to their Feasts or rendesvouze in White-Chappel , whither he having promised to come , and they between them tip'd off four Black Pots of Hum they at that time parted . (PENNY-E3-P2,142.23) CHAP. IV . (PENNY-E3-P2,143.26) How Monford went to the Beggars Feast , and of his Entertainment as also of the Present they made him , etc. (PENNY-E3-P2,143.27) Monford upon his coming home , declared to his Wife what a merry Companion he had met with , and what discourse they had , as likewise what he had promised , entreating her to get things in a readiness , that she might be at leasure to conduct him thither , where appeared , instead of a ragged Regiment of Lame , Blind , and Dumb , there was a rout of jovial Dancers , as gay as the Spring , and as merry as the Maids ; which made them imagine they were either mistaken in the place , or had been imposed upon (PENNY-E3-P2,143.29) and therefore were about to retire , had not Snap who knew Monford at first Blush , started from his Chair where he sat Supervizor in all his Gallantry , and taking him by the hand , let him know who he was , and afterward presented him to the whole Assembly , who received him as a Brother or Member of their Society , each by the order of Snap paying him a Complement : (PENNY-E3-P2,143.30) and that for the future he might not want a Guide on all occasion , Snap in the name of the rest presented him with a Dog and a Bell trained to the Business , (PENNY-E3-P2,143.31) and had before been the Companion of an Eyeless Beggar deceased ; (PENNY-E3-P2,143.32) and so having Feasted him and his Spouse in a Splendid manner , they dismissed him , upon his promise that he would not be wanting at that yearly meeting ; (PENNY-E3-P2,143.33) and being dismissed , he trudged home with his tractable Guide , which ever after proved serviceable to him .... (PENNY-E3-P2,143.34) The Sack-ful of News . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.37) 1685 . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.38) ... Another . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.39) There was an old man that could not well see , who had a fair young Wife , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.41) and with them dwelt a young man , which had long wooed his Mistris to have his pleasure of her , who at last consented to him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.42) but they knew not how to bring it to pass , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.43) for she did never go abroad , but in her husbands company , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.44) and lead him alwaies . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.45) At last she deviled a very fine shift , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.46) and bid her servant that he should that night about midnight come into her chamber where her Husband and she lay , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.47) & she would find some device for him . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.48) Night came , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.49) and the old man and wife went to bed , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.50) but she slept not a wink , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.51) but thought still upon her pretended purpose , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.52) but a little before the time prefixed , she awakened her Husband , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.53) & said thus unto him : Sir , I will tell you a thing in secret , which your servant was purposed to do ; (PENNY-E3-P2,162.54) when I am alone I can never be quiet for him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.55) but he is always inticing me to have me at his will , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.56) and so at the last to be quiet with him , I consented to meet him in the Garden , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.57) but for mine Honesties sake I will not . Wherefore I pray you put on my clothes and go meet him : (PENNY-E3-P2,162.58) so when he comes to you , beat him well , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.59) and chide him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.60) for I know well he will not strike you , because you are his Master , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.61) and then he may amend himself & prove a good servant : (PENNY-E3-P2,162.62) & the man was well pleased therewith . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.63) So the good man put on his wives Cloaths , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.64) and took a good Cudgel in his hand , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.65) & went into the garden . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.66) At length there came the servant to his mistris , where she lay in bed , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.67) and did what he would with her , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.68) and she was content , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.69) & then she told him how she had sent her Husband into the garden in her apparel , & wherefore , and to what purpose . (PENNY-E3-P2,162.70) So her servant arose , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.71) and as she bade him , took a good staff with him , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.72) and went into the garden , as though he knew not it was his master , (PENNY-E3-P2,162.73) & said unto him : Nay you whore , I did this but only to prove thee whether thou wouldest be false to my good master , and not that I would do such a vile thing with thee : whereupon he fell upon his Master , giving him many sore stripes , & beating him most cruelly , still calling him nothing but , out you Whore , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.74) will you offer this abuse to my good Master : (PENNY-E3-P2,163.75) Alas , qd. his Master good John , I am thy Master , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.76) strike me nomore I pray thee . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.77) Nay whore qd. he I know who thou are well enough , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.78) & so he strook him again , beating him most grievously . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.79) Good John said his Master feel , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.80) I have a Beard , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.81) Then the servant felt knowing well who it was who presently kneeled down and cryed his Master mercy . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.82) Now thanks be to God qd. his Master (PENNY-E3-P2,163.83) I have as good a servant of thee as a man can have , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.84) and I have as good a Wife as the World affords . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.85) Afterwards the Master went to bed , & his servant also . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.86) When the old man came to bed to his wife ; she demanded of him how he sped : (PENNY-E3-P2,163.87) He answered and said , By my troth Wife , I have the trustiest servant in the world , & as faithful a Wife ; (PENNY-E3-P2,163.88) for my Servant came thither with a great staff (PENNY-E3-P2,163.89) & did beat me right sore , thinking it had been you , wherefore I was well pleased therewith . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.90) But ever after the Servant was well beloved of his Master , but better of his Mistris : (PENNY-E3-P2,163.91) for his Master had no mistrust of him , though he had made him a Cuckold . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.92) so the poor man was cruelly beaten , and made Summers Bird nevertheless ... (PENNY-E3-P2,163.93) ... Another . (PENNY-E3-P2,163.95) There was a Priest in the Country which had christened a Child , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.97) and when he had christened it , he & the Clerk were biden to the drinking that should be there , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.98) and thither they went with other people , (PENNY-E3-P2,163.99) and being there , the Priest drank (PENNY-E3-P2,163.100) and made so merry , that he was quite foxed , and thought to go home before he laid him down to sleep ; (PENNY-E3-P2,163.101) but having gone a little way , he grew so drowsie , that he could go no further , but laid him down by a ditch-side so that his feet did hang in the water , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.102) & lying on his back , the Moon shined in his face : (PENNY-E3-P2,164.103) thus he lay till the rest of the company came from drinking , who as they came home found the Priest lying as aforesaid , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.104) and they thought to get him away , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.105) but do-1 what they could he would no rise , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.106) but said , Do no meddle with me , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.107) for I lye very well , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.108) and will not stir hence before the morning , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.109) but I pray lay some more clothes on my feet , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.110) and blow out the Candle , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.111) and let me lye and take my rest . (PENNY-E3-P2,164.112) Another . (PENNY-E3-P2,164.114) There was once a Country-man , which came to London , where he had never been before , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.116) and as he went over London bridge , he saw certain Ships sailing , being the first time he had seen any (PENNY-E3-P2,164.117) & perceiving the Sails made of cloath , he thought to assay if his Plough would go so , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.118) and when he came home , he caused his Wife to give him a large new Sheet , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.119) and went (PENNY-E3-P2,164.120) and set it on the Plough like a Sail , thinking the Plough would go with the Wind , (PENNY-E3-P2,164.121) but it removed not . Which when he saw , he said what the Devil , have I spoiled my sheet about nothing ? (PENNY-E3-P2,164.122) so set his Horses to the Plough again ... (PENNY-E3-P2,164.123) Humphry Frollicksome . (PENNY-E3-P2,165.126) ... Sir Humphrys Journey up to London ; And his putting a Trick upon his Brother ; And how he got himself reconciled again to his Father . (PENNY-E3-P2,165.127) Sir Humphry having now raised his Fortune to so high a pitch in so short a time , was inclined to let himself loose to his accustomed Pleasures ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.129) and having heard much of the Fame of London , he had a longing desire to see that place , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.130) and to satisfie his Curiosity , he takes his Journey that way , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.131) and having eased himself of the burthen of Necessity , he resolved to travel like a Gentleman , and lay aside all his Politick Contrivances , till Poverty should oblige him to make use of them again : (PENNY-E3-P2,165.132) so up to the City of London he came , well mounted , and his Pockets lined with the best of Coyn ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.133) his Journey was very prosperous and pleasant , not meeting with any interruption in all his passage , in which he found a great deal of satisfaction : (PENNY-E3-P2,165.134) When he had reach'd London , that Famous City , in which his desire was lodged , he was mightily pleased with the Noble Fabricks and the many Grandeurs he had not before seen ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.135) and when he had taken up his Lodging and provided himself all things necessary to his Settlement , he walks about , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.136) and makes what enquiry he could after some that been formerly his Acquaintance at Oxford , that they might introduce him into a farther knowledge of the Town , to which he was a perfect stranger : (PENNY-E3-P2,165.137) He had not made this his business long , but Fortune so favoured him , that he met one by meer accident , who had been his intimate Friend and Acquaintance , who were both mightily surprized , and extremely glad to see each other ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.138) and after a kind salutation on both sides , they consented to carrouse one hearty Bottle to their happy meeting , and to laugh at old passages , in which they had been both concerned ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.139) and in their discourse Sir Humphrys Friend happened to inform , that his Father and his Brother was in Town , and that he had seen them not above two days ago ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.140) Sir Humphry replyed , he was very glad to hear it ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.141) and being both intimate together , and sufficiently assured of one anothers friendship , said , that he would lay hold of the first opportunity he could , to make himself amends for the Injury his Brother had done him , in being an Instrument in putting his Father and him at variance ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.142) and enquired of his Friend where it was he lodg'd , who gave him an account of every matter requisite for Sir Humphrys purpose ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.143) and when they had laughed and chatted three or four hours , it began to grow late , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.144) and the Wine had almost turned their Noddles top-side turvey , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.145) they thought it time to part , and to retire home to their respective Habitations ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.146) so they pay'd their Reckoning , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.147) and Sir Humphry desired his friend not to take notice to his Father of his being in Town , who assured he would not ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.148) and when they had appointed where to meet the next time , they took a kind leave of one another , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.149) and so parted . (PENNY-E3-P2,165.150) And as Sir Humphry in his Cups being a little more Frollicksome than ordinary happened to ramble some way by a House that was new building , where he heard something rustle in the dark Cellar , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.151) and resolved to see what it was , steps in , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.152) and asks , $Who $'s {TEXT:Who's} there ? (PENNY-E3-P2,165.153) It happened to be a poor Beggar-wench , about Eighteen years of Age , who replyed , Nothing Sir but a poor Girl , who is forc'd to lye here , for want of a better habitation . (PENNY-E3-P2,165.154) Sir Humphry steps in (PENNY-E3-P2,165.155) and swore he would bear her company a little , before he went any further , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.156) and catched hold of the wench , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.157) and fell a tumbling and touzing her , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.158) and askt her how she could make shift to lye in so cold a dwelling ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.159) she told him , she had made her a Bed of Shavings in the next Cellar , which was warmer ; (PENNY-E3-P2,165.160) and Sir Humphry being desirous to see it , entreated the Wench to conduct him into her Bed-Chamber , which according to his request she did , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.161) and down she and Sir Humphry lay together , who began to be very brisk with her , (PENNY-E3-P2,165.162) and she being loth to deny him the Civility of a Female Bed-fellow , but receiv'd his close embraces as a courteous obligation . When the heat of Pastime began to be over , and Sir Humphry considering what he had done , resolved to contrive a way to lay this Action as a Scandal upon his Brother . (PENNY-E3-P2,167.163) By this time the Wench began to lay open her unfortunate Condition , and to desire some Charity from Sir Humphry , for her Relief , which Request put him in mind of the Outlandish piece of money he had privately taken from his Brother , who never knew which way he had lost it , thinking That would be a good Instrument to make his Father really believe his Brother to be guilty of the thing which he designed to put upon him , which was the chief hopes of Sir Humphry , who told her , he had spent that day what money he had brought out with him , and had {TEXT:had_and} nothing left but an Outlandish piece of money , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.164) and that he gave her , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.165) and bid her come tomorrow to his Lodging , directing her to the place where his Father and Brother lay , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.166) and goes himself by his Brothers Name , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.167) and bids her ask for him , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.168) and bid her send up that piece of money , as a Token , by any of the Servants , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.169) and then he should know her business , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.170) and would send her down half a Piece ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.171) the Wench was mighty thankful , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.172) and said , she would be sure to come : (PENNY-E3-P2,167.173) so Sir Humphry took his leave , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.174) and left her where he found her , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.175) and went home to Bed , hoping this design would work . (PENNY-E3-P2,167.176) The next day the Wench , according to his order , went to the place he had directed her , expecting it to be Sir Humphrys Lodging , where she knocks , and asks for Sir Humphry's Brother , expecting him to be the same man she had before seen ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.177) the Father being in the Entry , wondring what such a draggle-tail'd wench would have with his Son , goes to her , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.178) and enquires her business ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.179) the wench gives him the Token , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.180) and desires him to give the Gentleman that , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.181) and he would presently know her business : (PENNY-E3-P2,167.182) The Father knowing the piece of Coyn to be his Sons , that was given him as a Token by his Grandmother , wondered the more how such a Wench came by it ; (PENNY-E3-P2,167.183) so he calls the Girl within the Doors , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.184) and there began to be mighty inquisitive , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.185) and examined her strictly how she came by that piece of money and what was the business she came to his Son about , (PENNY-E3-P2,167.186) and threatned the Girl with hard words into so many fears , that at last she told him the whole circumstance of the matter ; which put the Old Man into such a lamentable fury , that he coughed himself half dead with meer passion ; his Son being not within all this time to vindicate himself before the wenches Face , who got away as soon as she could , and was glad to escape the old Gentlemans Rage . (PENNY-E3-P2,168.187) In this Agony of vexation the Old Man continued , exclaiming against his Son for a Reprobate-Rascal , who poor Gentleman , knew nothing of the matter ; (PENNY-E3-P2,168.188) at last home he came , where he no sooner entred , but the old man met him with a lusty Cudgel , and fell to belabouring {COM:picture_omitted} him with all the Vigour that fumbling old Age could lay upon him , crying out , Thou Villain , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'le} teach you to have your draggle-tail'd Sluts come after you for Money , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.189) and you must give them Tokens , with a Pox to you ; (PENNY-E3-P2,169.190) and $i $'ll {TEXT:i'le} give you a Token to remember me too before I part with you . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.191) The Son cryed out for mercy , denying all his Father accused him with , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.192) but nothing could curb the Old mans passion ; (PENNY-E3-P2,169.193) and when he thought he had bang'd him sufficiently , he turns him out of doors , not giving him the liberty to speak one word for himself , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.194) and vowed he would never see him no more . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.195) The poor Gentleman thought the Devil was in his Father , to accuse him with what he knew nothing of , and to beat him so unmercifully , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.196) neither could he imagine what was the meaning of it . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.197) Sir Humphry hearing his design had took so effectually , resolved to take this opportunity of submitting himself to his Father , which he accordingly did , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.198) and by the endeavour of some Friends , got him throughly reconciled to him , (PENNY-E3-P2,169.199) and was placed again in the same splendid Station he had formerly lived in , leaving his Brother in the same condition that he himself was freed from . (PENNY-E3-P2,169.200) The Life and Death of Sheffery ap Morgan . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.204) CHAP. I. (PENNY-E3-P2,200.206) Of Sheffery's Birth and Education . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.207) The Person we intend to insist upon in this following Discourse , is one Sheffery Morgan , who was born near Denby , a place eminently known in Wales , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.209) His Father being a Man of no small account , kept two or three Hoggs , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.210) and Brewed week for week the Year round , half a peck of Malt ; (PENNY-E3-P2,200.211) Her {COM:meaning_'his',_a_common_parody_of_welsh_speech} being a man so well to pass in the world , resolved to bring up her son Sheffery Scolar-like ; (PENNY-E3-P2,200.212) and in order thereunto put him to the greatest school in those parts , where he improved his time so well , that in six or seven Years he was able to Spell his own Name with a small matter of help . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.213) But not long after , her fond Father supposed her fit for the University , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.214) and disposed of her accordingly ; (PENNY-E3-P2,200.215) but Jeffry grew negligent , unknown to her Father , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.216) and minded more her Waggish Pastimes than her serious Studdy ; (PENNY-E3-P2,200.217) and her Father supposing her to be capable to manage a Parsons place , took a Fatherly care of her , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.218) and went to the Bishop of that Diocess , making sute for a Benefice for her , which was granted , provided that her should preach a Sermon of Approbation . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.219) Did Shon ap Morgan being joyful of this answer from the Bishop , writ Post to her Son Sheffry , wishing her with all speed to come , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.220) for her was likely to become a Welsh Parson , and have a Benifice of l. per annum . (PENNY-E3-P2,200.221) These good Tydings so tickled the Ear of our young Parson , that her omitted no opportunity , (PENNY-E3-P2,200.222) but took Horse (PENNY-E3-P2,200.223) and rid full speed to her Fathers House in Wales , who told her all the matter in hand ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.224) but when her heard that her was to preach before her could have her money , her knew not what to think on't . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.225) The day appointed drawing nigh when Sheffery was to Preach , being sensible of her inability , her knew not what course to take , or how her should perform her Task imposed upon her ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.226) sometimes her thought to fly from the presence of the Bishop and her Father both , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.227) and then contradicted that thought with this Resolution , That if he could not do as well as he should , that he would do as well as he could . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.228) So the day being come , Sheffery lay somewhat long a Bed , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.229) and seemed to have small stomach to his new Concern ; which her Father perceiving , stept up to give her a call , telling her the Saints Bell had rung in : (PENNY-E3-P2,201.230) O Father , said her , I am in a brown Study , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.231) look Father upon the top of Mr. Quibus his House , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.232) and behold a Cow-Curd that lyes there ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.233) and I have been studying how it might be ; whether the top of the House came down to the Cow , or whether the Cow went up to the top of the House ! (PENNY-E3-P2,201.234) O fie Son , this is idle discourse , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.235) come (PENNY-E3-P2,201.236) make hast , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.237) for it draws near ten a Clock , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.238) the Bishop and the people begin to think you long . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.239) Well Father I have but a short Sermon to make , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.240) but it is such a Tickler as has not been Preached at your Church , since you came to the Parish , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.241) well Son , I shall leave that to your Judgment . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.242) Sheffery no sooner enters the Church , but he steps into the Pulpit ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.243) and begins as followeth . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.244) Good people all , her knows there is something expected from her by way of Discourse , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.245) and seeing we are all met together , take this following matter as an undeniable Truth . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.246) There are some Things that I know and you know not ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.247) and there are some Things that you know , and I know not ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.248) and there are some Things that neither I nor you know . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.249) For thus , As I went over a stile I tore my Breeches , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.250) that I know and you know not ; (PENNY-E3-P2,201.251) but what you will give me towards the mending of them , that you know , and I know not , (PENNY-E3-P2,201.252) but what the Knave the Taylor will have for mending them , that neither you nor I know . (PENNY-E3-P2,201.253) The Bishop hearing such a strange Welsh discourse delivered as a Sermon , fell into such a laughter , that he laughed himself into a Looseness , that he was forced to carry his Arse under his Arm ever after ; (PENNY-E3-P2,202.254) and Old Shon ap Morgan fell into such a passion , that her solemnly protested , her would Dis-inherit her Son Sheffery ... (PENNY-E3-P2,202.255) CHAP. III . (PENNY-E3-P2,202.257) How Sheffery being weary of London , and short of Money , took a Journey toward the North ; and how he got the good Will of a Sow , which prov'd the first rise of Sheffery's Fortune . (PENNY-E3-P2,202.258) Sheffery being forsaken of her Countrymen , & allmost mony-less , wandred to and fro feasting her Eyes , but starving her Belly , resolved to travel farther towards the North : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.260) her had not gone above miles , but her was surprized by the dismal night , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.261) and being unacquainted with the way , lost her self , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.262) and wandred up and down , till at last her hapned upon a small Cottage , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.263) and knocking at the door , her asked how far it might be to the next Town ? (PENNY-E3-P2,202.264) the old Man answered : he was far from any Town or House except his : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.265) them {COM:sic} Sheffery craved for Entertainment for that night ; (PENNY-E3-P2,202.266) but the old Man reply'd , he had no convenience , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.267) but her pressed hard for Lodging ; (PENNY-E3-P2,202.268) so the old Man said , I have no place for you , except you will lie with our old Sow , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.269) with all her heart , quoth Sheffery . (PENNY-E3-P2,202.270) This being agreed , on they went to their Bed , and Sheffery to the Hogg-Stye , which joyned to the House , near the old Man and Womans Beds-head : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.271) Sheffery having but a sorry Lodging and a turbulent Bed-fellow , took no rest at all : (PENNY-E3-P2,202.272) the old Man and Woman waking about midnight , fell in discourse , (PENNY-E3-P2,202.273) quoth the old Woman , Husband , what if the young man should fall in love with our Sow , and forthwith get her good will to be Married ? (PENNY-E3-P2,202.274) Who , quoth the old Man , should be against her Preferment , if they like each other ? (PENNY-E3-P2,202.275) Ah ! but Husband , she hath been a good Old Servant to us , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.276) and if ever she goes , I hope you will bestow something with her : (PENNY-E3-P2,203.277) Well , well , Wife , I $shall $n't {TEXT:shan't} be backward , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.278) but ten or twenty pound I will bestow if the Man be deserving . (PENNY-E3-P2,203.279) Sheffery minding their Discourse , arose (PENNY-E3-P2,203.280) and went into a Carrot field near by , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.281) and pull'd some up , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.282) and brought them to the Sow , giving her plentifully to eat , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.283) then tyed the rest about his middle , underneath his Coat : (PENNY-E3-P2,203.284) & going into the house to return thanks for his nights Lodging , the Sow having tasted the sweetness of the Carrots , rav'd as though she would have torn down the stye , longing for more Carrots , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.285) the old Woman hearing the Sow to rave , cry'd out to her Husband , What is the matter with our Sow ? (PENNY-E3-P2,203.286) Quoth Sheffery , her can tell best what is the matter ; (PENNY-E3-P2,203.287) for her and I have made a match to be Marry'd (PENNY-E3-P2,203.288) and now she finding me to be gone without her , causeth her to rave in this sort ? (PENNY-E3-P2,203.289) The old Woman runs with speed to her Husband , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.290) and said , Cuts hobby Husband , I told you our Sow is in love with the Young Man . (PENNY-E3-P2,203.291) Ah ! but quoth her , that must be farther try'd , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.292) $i $'ll {TEXT:i'le} see first whether she will follow him sooner than another ; (PENNY-E3-P2,203.293) and letting her out , she ran directly at him , and taking hold on him , as if she loved him above others ; (PENNY-E3-P2,203.294) the Old Man seeing this , was much satisfied , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.295) and call'd Sheffery in , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.296) and laid him down pound , wishing them much joy together : (PENNY-E3-P2,203.297) This being done , Sheffery took her leave of the old people (PENNY-E3-P2,203.298) and went her way , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.299) by the smell of the Carrots the Sow followed him , which the Old Woman spying , she cry'd out , Come hither Mistris Bride , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.300) pray stay (PENNY-E3-P2,203.301) and take my best hat with you , which she did , (PENNY-E3-P2,203.302) and look'd like Mother Shipton with her long nose ... (PENNY-E3-P2,203.303) Black Tom . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.307) 1686 (PENNY-E3-P2,209.309) ... CHAP. II . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.310) How this Young Tom came to be known , and how he went by the Name of Black Tom ; and what befell . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.311) When Tom was grown to be a Man , as lusty and as strong a Thief as his Father , he told his Father he would now set up for himself ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.313) and when they were both agreed , Tom took his leave in the Evening , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.314) and went for Wapping , where he goes to a House standing nigh to the Thames : (PENNY-E3-P2,209.315) There he enter'd , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.316) and call'd for a Pot of Ale ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.317) and as he sat drinking his Ale , in the next room were sitting very merrily over a Bowl of Punch , a Company of jovial Drunken Sea-men , which Tom observed to make a noise , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.318) he also falls to singing as well as they . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.319) The Sea-men observing him to be so merry a Fellow , call'd him in amongst them ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.320) and after he had saluted the Company , and drank a dish of Punch or two , they ask'd him to sing them a merry Song to pass the time away : (PENNY-E3-P2,209.321) But he cryed no , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.322) $let $'s {TEXT:let's} rather drink while we are by land , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.323) for you are always hard employ'd upon the Sea ; which Proposal pleas'd the Sea-men so well , that they oblieg'd themselves to follow Tom's example ; who thereupon began so many Healths one after another , that the Sea-men not being so fresh as he , by degrees fell fast asleep . (PENNY-E3-P2,209.324) Now Tom minding his opportunity , insensibly creeps to their Pockets , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.325) and takes away all the Money they had , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.326) and when he had discharg'd the Reckoning , took his leave of his Hostess (PENNY-E3-P2,209.327) and went off : (PENNY-E3-P2,209.328) but the Sea-men waking , and missing their Money , began to curse and swear at the Black Dog most bitterly ; (PENNY-E3-P2,209.329) and one of them remembering that his name was Tom , resolved to put him in the Gazette by the name of Black Tom , (PENNY-E3-P2,209.330) but they being almost Drunk , when he came first amongst them , that they could not remember what sort of Cloaths he wore , or whether his Visage was round or long , or his Body by stature tall or short . So that one of them coming one day by Charing-Cross , saw a Black behind a Gentlemans Coach , cryed out very eagerly to the Coach-man to stop his Horses : (PENNY-E3-P2,210.331) and then eagerly running to the Foot-man behind the Coach , lay'd hold on him , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.332) and causing a Constable to be call'd , had the poor Man before a Justice , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.333) and swore against him , That he was the very Man that Rob'd him at such a time , and such a place ; (PENNY-E3-P2,210.334) But the Youth making it appear that he was not there , but was employed on some business for his Lady , was clear'd , and the Man look'd upon as Mad . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.335) CHAP. III . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.337) How Black Tom committed a Robbery at St. Katherines , and how he came off . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.338) After Tom and the Sea-men had parted , Tom takes a Boat , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.340) and Rows to St. Katherines , where he lay three days before he heard of any thing fit for his purpose : (PENNY-E3-P2,210.341) At last entring into Discourse with his Landlady , Lord , Landlady , says he I admire some People that are Rich , and but few in Family , are not afraid to stay out of their Houses , especially by Night , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.342) so many loitering idle Fellows as lie here about ! (PENNY-E3-P2,210.343) Indeed Sir , says she {COM:no_matching_open_paren} I wonder as much as you do ; (PENNY-E3-P2,210.344) but above all People in St. Katherines , I admire at my next Neighbour , that hath always good store of Plate , and Coin of Gold and Silver always by her , that she dares lye alone , or with none but a poor simple Girl , that is her Servant ; especially having such a weak Old House , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.345) and by my truly , sometimes they both go out ; (PENNY-E3-P2,210.346) and one perhaps has got the Key of the Door , (PENNY-E3-P2,210.347) and the other coming home , wanting the Key , will lift the Door off the Hinges : Which hath been done so often , that it comes off now without any noise . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.348) Indeed Landlady , says Tom $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} a great Miracle to me , that they escape so well . (PENNY-E3-P2,210.349) Now Tom being very glad of this News , after a small meditation what to do , tells his Landlady , That he was invited out , and should be pretty late before he could come in that Night , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.351) and therefore desires her not to sit up late for him , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.352) and so departed till toward Night , which time he imployed in viewing the House , to see how or where he might break in most easily . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.353) At last considering that his Landladys way was the best , he would stay till Night , and venture at the Door , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.354) therefore he goes to an Ale-house hard by , to spend his time . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.355) But not long after the Watch had passed by , crying the time of the Night , out goes Tom ; who coming to the Door , and gently renches it off the Hinges , goes up the Stairs , and finding every body fast {COM:asleep} , opens a Coffer , in which was a Till or Drawer , from whence Tom takes an Hundred pounds , besides Jewels and Rings ; (PENNY-E3-P2,211.356) so being very well contented with his prize , was preparing to go off , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.357) but the Watch was passing by , whose custome is to knock at the Doors , and if they be open , to call upon the People to shut them ; (PENNY-E3-P2,211.358) but Tom was got withoutside the Door endeavouring to fasten it again . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.359) Now the Watch-men finding the Door off the Hinges , began to think that Mr. Thomas had committed a fault , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.360) and therefore took him into examination . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.361) Now Tom told them that it was his own House , and he had some occasion to go out , and could not find his Key until he had lifted the Door off the Hinges ; (PENNY-E3-P2,211.362) and if they would not believe it was his House , they might come in , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.363) and he would make them drink for their pains . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.364) Now as $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} not the custome of Watch-men to deny drink at any time , they entered into the House : (PENNY-E3-P2,211.365) Now Tom taking down a Mug from the Shelf , and going to the Door , praying them not to make any noise , under pretension of going to fetch drink , ran quite away . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.366) Now the Constable having a Drunken Man that was scarce able to go with him , commanded one of the Watch-men to stay there with him , until Mr. Black Thomas should come in , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.367) and because the poor Man look'd like a Gentleman , should beg Mr. Black Thomas to lend him a Bed , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.368) so the Constable and part of the Watch departed . (PENNY-E3-P2,211.369) Now Mr. Black Thomas not returning , the Gentleman that was o'recome with drink fell fast asleep , (PENNY-E3-P2,211.370) and likewise the Watch-man being in the dark , and no body left to talk to , fell fast asleep also ; (PENNY-E3-P2,212.371) and slept soundly until the Morning , that the woman of the House finding her Coffer open , and her Money gone , came happily down , and caused them to be seized , as Men guilty of Burglary and Robbery , (PENNY-E3-P2,212.372) and had them before the Justice , (PENNY-E3-P2,212.373) and he had committed them , had not the Constable and Watch come and cleared them . (PENNY-E3-P2,212.374) Thus Black Tom came off . (PENNY-E3-P2,212.375)