SCENE $III , A Dressing-Room . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.3) Enter Lord Foppington in his Night-Gown . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.5) Lord Fop. Page - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.6) Enter Page . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.7) Page . Sir . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.8) Lord Fop. Sir , Pray , Sir , do me the Favour to teach your Tongue the Title the King has thought fit to honour me with . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.9) Page . I ask your Lordship's Pardon , my Lord . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.10) Lord Fop. O , you can pronounce the Word then , (VANBR-E3-P2,25.11) I thought it would have choak'd you - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.12) $D' $ye {TEXT:D'ye} hear ? (VANBR-E3-P2,25.13) Page . My Lord . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.14) Lord Fop. Call La Verole , (VANBR-E3-P2,25.15) I wou'd Dress - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.16) Exit Page . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.17) Solus . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.18) Well , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} an unspeakable pleasure to be a Man of Quality - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.19) Strike me dumb - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.20) My Lord - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.21) Your Lordship - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.22) My Lord Foppington - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.23) Ah ! c'est quelque Chose de beau , que le Diable m'emporte - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.24) Why the Ladies were ready to pewke at me , whilst I had nothing but Sir Navelty to recommend me to 'em - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.25) Sure whilst I was but a Knight , I was a very nauseous Fellow - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.26) Well , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} Ten Thousand Pawnd well given - stap my Vitals - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.27) Enter La Verole . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.28) Me Lord , de Shoomaker , de Taylor , de Hosier , de Semstress , de Barber , be all ready , if your Lordship please to be dress . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.29) Lord Fop. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} well , (VANBR-E3-P2,25.30) admit 'em . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.31) La Ver. Hey , Messieurs , Entrez . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.32) Enter Taylor , &c . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.33) Lord Fop. So , Gentlemen , I hope you have all taken pains to shew your selves Masters in your Professions . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.34) Tayl. I think I may presume to say , Sir - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.35) La Ver. My Lord - You Clawn you . (VANBR-E3-P2,25.36) Tayl. Why , is he made a Lord - (VANBR-E3-P2,25.37) My Lord , I ask your Lordship's Pardon my Lord ; (VANBR-E3-P2,25.38) I hope , my Lord , your Lordship will please to own , I have brought your Lordship as accomplisht a Suit of Cloaths , as ever Peer of England trode the Stage in , my Lord : (VANBR-E3-P2,26.39) Will your Lordship please to try 'em now ? (VANBR-E3-P2,26.40) Lord Fop. Ay , but let my People dispose the Glasses so , that I may see my self before and behind ; (VANBR-E3-P2,26.41) for I love to see my self all raund - (VANBR-E3-P2,26.42) Whilst he puts on his Cloaths , enter Young Fashion and Lory . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.43) Y. Fash. Hey-day , what the Devil have we here ? (VANBR-E3-P2,26.44) Sure my $Gentleman $'s {TEXT:Gentleman's} grown a Favourite at Court , he has got so many People at his Levee . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.45) Lo. Sir , these People come in order to make him a Favourite at Court , (VANBR-E3-P2,26.46) they are to establish him with the Ladies . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.47) Y. Fash. Good God , to what an Ebb of Taste are Women fallen , that it shou'd be in the power of a Lac't Coat to recommend a Gallant to 'em - (VANBR-E3-P2,26.48) Lo. Sir , Taylors and Periwigmakers are now become the Bawds of the Nation , (VANBR-E3-P2,26.49) $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} they debauch all the Women . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.50) Y. Fash. Thou sayst true ; (VANBR-E3-P2,26.51) for there 's that Fop now , has not by Nature wherewithal to move a Cook-Maid , (VANBR-E3-P2,26.52) and by that time these Fellows have done with him , I'gad he shall melt down a Countess . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.53) But now for my Reception , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} ingage it shall be as cold a one , as a $Courtier $'s {TEXT:Courtier's} to his Friend , who comes to put him in mind of his Promise . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.54) Lord Fop. to his Taylor Death and Eternal Tartures , Sir , I say the $Packet $'s {TEXT:Packet's} too high by a Foot . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.55) Tayl. My Lord , if it had been an Inch lower , it would not have held your Lordship's Pocket-Handkerchief . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.56) Lord Fop. Rat my Pocket-Handkerchief ! (VANBR-E3-P2,26.57) Have not I a Page to carry it ? (VANBR-E3-P2,26.58) you may make him a Packet up to his Chin a purpose for it : (VANBR-E3-P2,26.59) But I will not have mine come so near my Face . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.60) Tayl. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} not for me to dispute your Lordship's Fancy . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.61) Y. Fash. to Lory His Lordship ; (VANBR-E3-P2,26.62) Lory , did you observe that ? (VANBR-E3-P2,26.63) Lo. Yes Sir , I always thought $'t $would {TEXT:'twould} end there . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.64) Now I hope $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} have a little more Respect for him . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.65) Y. Fash. Respect ! (VANBR-E3-P2,26.66) Damn him for a Coxcomb ; (VANBR-E3-P2,26.67) now has he ruin'd his Estate to buy a Title , that he may be a Fool of the first Rate : (VANBR-E3-P2,26.68) But $let $'s {TEXT:let's} accost him - (VANBR-E3-P2,26.69) To Lord Fop. Brother , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} your Humble Servant (VANBR-E3-P2,26.70) Lord Fop. O Lard Tam , I did not expect you in England ; (VANBR-E3-P2,26.71) Brother , I am glad to see you - (VANBR-E3-P2,26.72) Turning to his Taylor . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.73) Look you Sir , (VANBR-E3-P2,26.74) I shall never be reconcil'd to this nauseous Packet ; (VANBR-E3-P2,26.75) therefore pray get me another Suit with all manner of Expedition , (VANBR-E3-P2,26.76) for this is my Eternal Aversion . (VANBR-E3-P2,26.77) Mrs. Callicoe , are not you of my Mind ? (VANBR-E3-P2,26.78) Semp. O , directly my Lord , (VANBR-E3-P2,26.79) it can never be too low - (VANBR-E3-P2,26.80) Lord Fop. You are positively in the right on't , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.82) for the Packet becomes no part of the Body but the Knee . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.83) Semp. I hope your Lordship is pleas'd with your Steenkirk . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.84) Lord Fop. In love with it , stap my Vitals ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.85) Bring your Bill , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.86) you shall be paid to Marrow - (VANBR-E3-P2,27.87) Semp. I humbly thank your Honour - (VANBR-E3-P2,27.88) Exit Semp. (VANBR-E3-P2,27.89) Lord Fop. Hark thee , Shooe-maker , these Shooes $a $nt {TEXT:an_t} ugly , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.90) but they $do $n't {TEXT:don't} fit me . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.91) Shooe. My Lord , $me {TEXT:my} thinks they fit you very well . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.92) Lord Fop. They hurt me just below the Instep . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.93) Shooe. feeling his Foot . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.94) My Lord , they $do $n't {TEXT:don't} hurt you there . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.95) Lord Fop. I tell thee they pinch me execrably . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.96) Shooe. My Lord , if they pinch you , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} be bound to be hang'd , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.97) $that $'s {TEXT:that's} all . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.98) Lord Fop. Why wilt thou undertake to perswade me I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} feel ? (VANBR-E3-P2,27.99) Shooe. Your Lordship may please to feel what you think fit ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.100) but that Shooe does not hurt you ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.101) I think I understand my Trade - (VANBR-E3-P2,27.102) Lord Fop. Now by all $that $'s {TEXT:that's} Great and Powerful , thou art an incomprehensible Coxcomb ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.103) but thou makest good Shooes , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.104) and so $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} bear with thee . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.105) Shooe. My Lord , I have workt for half the People of Quality in Town , these Twenty Years ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.106) and $'t $were {TEXT:'twere} very hard I should not know when a Shooe hurts , and when it $do $n't {TEXT:don't} . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.107) Lord Fop. Well , $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} begone about thy Business . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.108) Exit Shooe. (VANBR-E3-P2,27.109) To the Hosier . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.110) Mr. Mend-Legs , a Word with you ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.111) the Calves of the Stockings are thicken'd a little too much . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.112) They make my Legs look like a Chairman's - (VANBR-E3-P2,27.113) Mend. My Lord , $me {TEXT:my} thinks they look mighty well . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.114) Lord Fop. Ay , but you are not so good a Judge of those Things as I am , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.115) I have study'd 'em all my Life ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.116) therefore pray let the next be the thickness Of a Crawn-piece less - (VANBR-E3-P2,27.117) Aside (VANBR-E3-P2,27.118) If the Town takes notice my Legs are fallen away , $'t $will {TEXT:'twill} be attributed to the Violence of some new Intrigue . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.119) Exit Mend-Legs . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.120) To the Periwig-maker . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.121) Come , Mr. Foretop , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.122) let me see what you have done , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.123) and then the Fatigue of the Marning will be over . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.124) Foretop. My Lord , I have done what I defie any Prince in Europe $t' $out-do {TEXT:t'-out-do} ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.125) I have made you a Periwig so long , and so full of Hair , it will serve you for a Hat and Cloak in all Weathers . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.126) Lord Fop. Then thou hast made me thy Friend to Eternity ; (VANBR-E3-P2,27.127) Come , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.128) comb it out . (VANBR-E3-P2,27.129) Y. Fash. Well , Lory , What dost think on't ? (VANBR-E3-P2,27.130) A very friendly Reception from a Brother after 3 Years absence ! (VANBR-E3-P2,27.131) Lory . Why , Sir , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} your own Fault , (VANBR-E3-P2,27.132) we seldom care for those that $do $n't {TEXT:don't} love what we love ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.133) if you would creep into his Heart , you must enter into his Pleasures - (VANBR-E3-P2,28.134) Here have you stood ever since you came in , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.135) and have not commended any one Thing that belongs to him . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.136) Y. Fash. Nor never shall , whilst they belong to a Coxcomb . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.137) Lory . Then , Sir , you must be content to pick a hungry Bone . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.138) Y. Fash. No , Sir , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} crack it , and get to the Marrow before I have done . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.139) Lord Fop. Gad's Curse ; Mr. Foretop , you $do $n't {TEXT:don't} intend to put this upon me for a full Periwig ? (VANBR-E3-P2,28.140) Fore. Not a full one , my Lord ? (VANBR-E3-P2,28.141) I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know what your Lordship may please to call a full one , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.142) but I have cram'd Ounces of Hair into it . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.143) Lord Fop. What it may be by Weight , Sir , I shall not dispute ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.144) but by Tale , there are not 9 Hairs of a side . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.145) Fore. O Lord ! (VANBR-E3-P2,28.146) O Lord ! O Lord ! why , as Gad shall judge me , your Honour's Side-Face is reduc'd to the tip of your Nose . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.147) Lord Fop. My Side-Face may be in Eclipse for aught I know ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.148) but $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} sure , my Full-Face is like the Full-Moon . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.149) Fore. Heaven bless my Eye-sight - (VANBR-E3-P2,28.150) Rubbing his Eyes . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.151) Sure I look through the wrong end of the Perspective , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.152) for by my Faith , $an $'t {TEXT:an't} please your Honour , the broadest place I see in your Face , does not seem to me to be two Inches diameter . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.153) Lord Fop. If it did , it would be just two Inches too broad ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.154) Far a Periwig to a Man , shou'd be like a Mask to a Woman , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.155) nothing shou'd be seen but his Eyes - (VANBR-E3-P2,28.156) Fore. My Lord , I have done ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.157) if you please to have more Hair in your Wig , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} put it in . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.158) Lord Fop. Passitively , yes . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.159) Fore. Shall I take it back now , my Lord ? (VANBR-E3-P2,28.160) Lord Fop. Noh : $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} wear it to-day , tho` it shew such a manstrous pair of Cheeks : (VANBR-E3-P2,28.161) Stap my Vitals , I shall be taken for a Trumpeter . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.162) Exit Fore. (VANBR-E3-P2,28.163) Y. Fash. Now your People of Business are gone , Brother , I hope I may obtain a quarter of an Hour's Audience of you . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.164) Lord Fop. Faith , Tam ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.165) I must beg $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} excuse me at this time , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.166) for I must away to the House of Lards immediately ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.167) my Lady Teaser's Case is to come on to-day , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.168) and I would not be absent for the Salvation of Mankind . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.169) Hey , Page , is the Coach at the Door ? (VANBR-E3-P2,28.170) Page . Yes , my Lord . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.171) Lord Fop. $You $'ll {TEXT:You'll} excuse me , Brother . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.172) Going . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.173) Y. Fash. Shall you be back at Dinner ? (VANBR-E3-P2,28.174) Lord Fop. As Gad shall jidge {COM:sic} me , I $can $n't {TEXT:can't} tell ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.175) for $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} passible I may dine with some of our House at Lackets . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.176) Y. Fash. Shall I meet you there ? (VANBR-E3-P2,28.177) For I must needs talk with you . (VANBR-E3-P2,28.178) Lord Fop. That $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} afraid $may $n't {TEXT:mayn't} be so praper ; (VANBR-E3-P2,28.179) far the Lards I commonly eat with , are a People of a nice Conversation , (VANBR-E3-P2,28.180) and you know , Tam , your Education has been a little at large ; (VANBR-E3-P2,29.181) but if $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} stay here , $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find a Family-Dinner . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.182) Hey Fellow ! what is there for Dinner ? (VANBR-E3-P2,29.183) There 's Beef ; (VANBR-E3-P2,29.184) I suppose my Brother will eat Beef . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.185) Dear Tam , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} glad to see thee in England , stap my Vitals . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.186) Exit , with his Equipage . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.187) Y. Fash. Hell and Furies , is this to be borne ? (VANBR-E3-P2,29.188) Lory . Faith , Sir , I cou'd almost have given him a knock o' th' Pate my self . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.189) Y. Fash. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} enough ; (VANBR-E3-P2,29.190) I will now shew thee the Excess of my Passion by being very calm : (VANBR-E3-P2,29.191) Come , Lory , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.192) lay your Loggerhead to mine , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.193) and in cool Blood let us contrive his Destruction . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.194) Lory . Here comes a Head , Sir , would contrive it better than us both , if he wou'd but joyn in the Confederacy . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.195) Enter Coupler . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.196) Y. Fash. By this Light , old Coupler alive still ! (VANBR-E3-P2,29.197) Why , how now , Matchmaker , art thou here still to plague the World with Matrimony ? (VANBR-E3-P2,29.198) You old Bawd , how have you the Impudence to be hobling out of your Grave Years after you are rotten ! (VANBR-E3-P2,29.199) Coup. When you begin to rot , Sirrah , $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} go off like a Pippin , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.200) One Winter will send you to the Devil . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.201) What Mischief brings you home again ? (VANBR-E3-P2,29.202) Ha ! You young Lascivious Rogue , you ; (VANBR-E3-P2,29.203) Let me put my Hand into your Bosom , Sirrah . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.204) Y. Fash. Stand off , old Sodom . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.205) Coup. Nay , $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} now $do $n't {TEXT:don't} be so coy . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.206) Y. Fash. Keep your Hands to your self , you old Dog you , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.207) or $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} wring your Nose off . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.208) Coup. Hast thou then been a Year in Italy , and brought home a Fool at last ? (VANBR-E3-P2,29.209) By my Conscience , the Young Fellows of this Age profit no more by their going abroad , than they do by their going to Church . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.210) Sirrah , Sirrah , if you are not hang'd before you come to my Years , $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} know a Cock from a Hen . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.211) But come , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.212) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} still a Friend to thy Person , tho` I have a Contempt of thy Understanding ; (VANBR-E3-P2,29.213) and therefore I wou'd willingly know thy Condition , that I may see whether thou stand'st in need of my Assistance , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.214) for Widows swarm , my Boy , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.215) the $Town $'s {TEXT:Town's} infected with 'em . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.216) Y. Fash. I stand in need of any Body's Assistance , that will help me to cut my elder Brother's Throat , without the Risque of being hang'd for him . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.217) Coup. Igad , Sirrah , I cou'd help thee to do him almost as good a turn , without the danger of being burnt in the Hand for't . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.218) Y. Fash. Sayest thou so , old Satan ? (VANBR-E3-P2,29.219) Shew me but that , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.220) and my Soul is thine . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.221) Coup. Pox $on $thy {TEXT:o'thy} Soul , (VANBR-E3-P2,29.222) give me thy warm Body , Sirrah ; (VANBR-E3-P2,29.223) I shall have a substantial Title to't when I tell thee my Project . (VANBR-E3-P2,29.224) Y. Fash. Out with it then , dear Dad , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.226) and take Possession as soon as thou wilt . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.227) Coup. Say'st thou so , my Hephestion ? (VANBR-E3-P2,30.228) Why then thus lies the Scene : (VANBR-E3-P2,30.229) But hold , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.230) $who $'s {TEXT:who's} that ? (VANBR-E3-P2,30.231) if we are heard we are undone . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.232) Y. Fash. What have you forgot Lory ? (VANBR-E3-P2,30.233) Coup. Who , trusty Lory , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.234) is it thee ? (VANBR-E3-P2,30.235) Lory . At your service , Sir . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.236) Coup. Give me thy Hand , Old Boy ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.237) I'gad I did not know thee again , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.238) but I remember thy Honesty , tho` I did not thy Face ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.239) I think thou had'st like to have been hang'd once or twice for thy Master . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.240) Lory . Sir , I was very near once having that Honour . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.241) Coup. Well , Live and Hope , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.242) $do $n't {TEXT:don't} be discourag'd ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.243) Eat with him , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.244) and Drink with him , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.245) and do what he bids thee , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.246) and it may be thy Reward at last , as well as anothers . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.247) To Y. Fash. Well , Sir , you must know I have done you the kindness to make up a Match for your Brother . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.248) Y. Fash. Sir , I am very much beholding to you , truly . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.249) Coup. You may be , Sirrah , before the Wedding-day yet , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.250) the Lady is a great Heiress ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.251) Fifteen hundred Pound a year , and a great Bag of Money ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.252) the Match is concluded , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.253) the Writings are drawn , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.254) and the $Pipkin $'s {TEXT:Pipkin's} to be crack'd in a Fortnight - (VANBR-E3-P2,30.255) Now you must know , Stripling with Respect to your Mother your $Brother $'s {TEXT:Brother's} the Son of a Whore . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.256) Y. Fash. Good . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.257) Coup. He has given me a Bond of a Thousand Pounds for helping him to this Fortune , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.258) and has promis'd me as much more in ready Money upon the Day of Marriage , which I understand by a Friend , he ne'er designs to pay me ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.259) if therefore you will be a generous young Dog , and secure me Five thousand Pounds , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} be a covetous old Rogue , and help you to the Lady . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.260) Y. Fash. I'gad , if thou can'st bring this about , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} have thy Statue cast in Brass . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.261) But $do $n't {TEXT:don't} you doat , you old Pandor you , when you talk at this rate ? (VANBR-E3-P2,30.262) Coup. That your youthful Parts shall judge of : (VANBR-E3-P2,30.263) This plump Partridge , that I tell you of , lives in the Country , Fifty Miles off , with her Honoured Parents , in a lonely old House which nobody comes near ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.264) she never goes abroad , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.265) nor sees Company at home : (VANBR-E3-P2,30.266) To prevent all Misfortunes , she has her breeding within doors , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.267) the Parson of the Parish teaches her to play on the Base-Viol , the Clerk to sing , her Nurse to dress , and her Father to dance : (VANBR-E3-P2,30.268) In short , no body can give you admittance there but I , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.269) nor can I do it any other way , than by making you pass for your Brother . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.270) Y. Fash. And how the Devil wilt thou do that ? (VANBR-E3-P2,30.271) Coup. Without the Devil's Aid , I warrant thee . (VANBR-E3-P2,30.272) Thy Brother's Face , not one of the Family ever saw ; (VANBR-E3-P2,30.273) the whole Business has been manag'd by me , (VANBR-E3-P2,30.274) and all the Letters go through my Hands : (VANBR-E3-P2,30.275) The last that was writ to Sir Tunbelly Clumsey for $that $'s {TEXT:that's} the old Gentleman's Name was to tell him , his Lordship would be down in a Fortnight to Consummate . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.276) Now you shall go away immediately , pretend you writ that Letter only to have the Romantick Pleasure of surprizing your Mistriss ; fall desperately in Love , as soon as you see her ; make that your Plea for Marrying her immediately , (VANBR-E3-P2,31.277) and when the Fatigue of the $Wedding-Night $'s {TEXT:Wedding-Night's} over , you shall send me a swinging Purse of Gold , you Dog you . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.278) Y. Fash. I'gad , Old Dad , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} put my Hand in thy Bosom now - (VANBR-E3-P2,31.279) Coup. Ah , you young hot lusty Thief , (VANBR-E3-P2,31.280) let me Muzzle you - (VANBR-E3-P2,31.281) Kissing . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.282) Sirrah , let me Muzzle you . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.283) Y. Fash. P'sha , the Old Letcher - Aside . Coup. Well , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant thou hast not a Farthing of Money in thy Pocket now ; (VANBR-E3-P2,31.285) no , one may see it in thy Face - (VANBR-E3-P2,31.286) Y. Fash. Not a Souse , by Jupiter . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.287) Coup. Must I advance then - (VANBR-E3-P2,31.288) Well Sirrah , be at my Lodgings in half an Hour , (VANBR-E3-P2,31.289) and $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} see what may be done ; (VANBR-E3-P2,31.290) $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} Sign and Seal , and eat a Pullet , (VANBR-E3-P2,31.291) and when I have given thee some farther Instructions , thou sha't hoyst Sail and begone (VANBR-E3-P2,31.292) Kissing (VANBR-E3-P2,31.293) T'other Buss , and so adieu . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.294) Y. Fash. U'm , P'sha . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.295) Coup. Ah , you young warm Dog you ; what a delicious Night will the Bride have on't . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.296) Exit Coupler . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.297) Y. Fash. So Lory . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.298) Providence thou se'est at last , takes care of Men of Merit ; (VANBR-E3-P2,31.299) we are in a fair way to be great People . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.300) Lo. Ay Sir , if the Devil $do $n't {TEXT:don't} step between the Cup and the Lip , as he uses to do . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.301) Y. Fash. Why Faith , he has play'd me many a damn'd trick to spoil my Fortune , (VANBR-E3-P2,31.302) and I'gad $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} almost afraid $he $'s {TEXT:he's} at work about it again now ; (VANBR-E3-P2,31.303) but if I shou'd tell thee how , $thou $'dst {TEXT:thou'dst} wonder at me . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.304) Lo. Indeed , Sir , I shou'd not . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.305) Y. Fash. How dost know ? (VANBR-E3-P2,31.306) Lo. (VANBR-E3-P2,31.307) Because , Sir , I have wondred at you so often , I can wonder at you no more . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.308) Y. Fash. No ; what wou'dst thou say , if a Qualm of Conscience should spoil my design ? (VANBR-E3-P2,31.309) Lo. I wou'd eat my words , and wonder more than ever {I_wondered} . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.310) Y. Fash. Why faith Lory , tho` I am a young Rake-hell , and have plaid many a Roguish trick ; this is so full grown a Cheat , I find I must take pains to come up to't , (VANBR-E3-P2,31.311) I have Scruples - (VANBR-E3-P2,31.312) Lo. They are strong symptoms of death ; (VANBR-E3-P2,31.313) if you find they increase , pray Sir , make your Will . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.314) Y. Fash. No , my Conscience $shall $n't {TEXT:shan't} starve me neither . (VANBR-E3-P2,31.315) But thus far $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} hearken to it ; (VANBR-E3-P2,31.316) before I execute this Project . $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} try my Brother to the bottom , (VANBR-E3-P2,32.317) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} speak to him with the temper of a Philosopher , (VANBR-E3-P2,32.318) my Reasons tho` they press him home shall yet be cloath'd with so much Modesty , not one of all the Truths they urge , shall be so naked to offend his Sight ; (VANBR-E3-P2,32.319) if he has yet so much Humanity about him , as to assist me , tho` with a moderate aid $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} drop my Project at his Feet , and shew him how I can - do for him , much more than what I ask , $he $'d {TEXT:he'd} do for me : (VANBR-E3-P2,32.320) This one Conclusive Tryal of him I resolve to make - (VANBR-E3-P2,32.321) {COM:verse_omitted} Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-P2,32.323) The End of the First Act . (VANBR-E3-P2,32.325) {COM:insert_helsinki_sample} Enter Loveless running to her . (VANBR-E3-P2,68.329) Lov. Peace , my Dear , $it $'s {TEXT:it's} no Ghost , (VANBR-E3-P2,68.330) take it in your Arms , (VANBR-E3-P2,68.331) $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} find $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} worth a hundred of 'em . (VANBR-E3-P2,68.332) Ber. Run in again , (VANBR-E3-P2,68.333) $here $'s {TEXT:here's} some body coming . (VANBR-E3-P2,68.334) Loveless retires . (VANBR-E3-P2,68.335) Enter her Maid . (VANBR-E3-P2,68.336) Maid . Lord , Madam , $what $'s {TEXT:what's} the matter ? (VANBR-E3-P2,68.337) Ber. O Heav'ns ! (VANBR-E3-P2,68.338) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} almost frightened out of my Wits , (VANBR-E3-P2,68.339) I thought verily I had seen a Ghost , (VANBR-E3-P2,68.340) and $'t $was {TEXT:'twas} nothing but the white Curtain , with a black Hood pinn'd up against it ; (VANBR-E3-P2,68.341) you may be gone again , (VANBR-E3-P2,68.342) I am the fearful'st Fool . - (VANBR-E3-P2,68.343) Exit Maid . (VANBR-E3-P2,68.344) Re-enter Loveless . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.346) Lov. Is the Coast clear ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.347) Ber. The Coast clear ! (VANBR-E3-P2,69.348) I suppose you are clear , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.349) $you $'d {TEXT:you'd} never play such a trick as this else . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.350) Lov. I am very well pleas'd with my trick thus far , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.351) and shall be so 'till I have play'd it out , if it $be $n't {TEXT:ben't} your fault ; (VANBR-E3-P2,69.352) $where $'s {TEXT:where's} my Wife ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.353) Ber. At cards . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.354) Lov. With whom ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.355) Ber. With Worthy . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.356) Lov. Then we are safe enough . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.357) Ber. Are you so ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.358) some Husbands wou'd be of another mind , if he were at Cards with their Wives . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.359) Lov. And $they $'d {TEXT:they'd} be in the right on't too . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.360) But I dare trust mine - (VANBR-E3-P2,69.361) Besides , I know $he $'s {TEXT:he's} in love in another place , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.362) and $he $'s {TEXT:he's} not one of those who Court half a dozen at a time . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.363) Ber. Nay , the truth on't is , $you $'d {TEXT:you'd} pity him if you saw how uneasie he is at being engag'd with us , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.364) but $'t $was {TEXT:'twas} my malice . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.365) I fancy'd he was to meet his Mistress some where else , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.366) so did it to have the pleasure of seeing him fret . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.367) Lov. What says Amanda to my staying abroad so late ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.368) Ber. Why $she $'s {TEXT:she's} as much out of Humour as he , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.369) I believe they wish one another at the Devil . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.370) Lov. Then $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} afraid $they $'ll {TEXT:they'll} quarrel at Play , and soon throw up the Cards ; (VANBR-E3-P2,69.371) Offering to pull her into her Closet (VANBR-E3-P2,69.372) Therefore , my Dear Charming Angel , let us make good use of our time . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.373) Ber. Heavens , what do you mean ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.374) Lov. Pray what do you think I mean ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.375) Ber. I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.376) Lov. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} shew you . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.377) Ber. You may as well tell me . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.378) Lov. No , that wou'd make you blush worse than t'other . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.379) Ber. Why , do you intend to make me blush ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.380) Lov. Faith I $can $n't {TEXT:can't} tell that , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.381) but if I do , it shall be in the dark . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.382) Pulling her . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.383) Ber. O Heavens ! (VANBR-E3-P2,69.384) I wou'd not be in the dark with you for all the World . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.385) Lov. $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} try that . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.386) Puts out the Candles . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.387) Ber. O Lord ! are you mad ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.388) What shall I do for Light ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.389) Lov. $You $'ll {TEXT:You'll} do as well without it . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.390) Ber. Why , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.391) one $can $n't {TEXT:can't} find a Chair to sit down ? (VANBR-E3-P2,69.392) Lov. Come into the Closet , Madam , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.393) there 's moonshine upon the Couch . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.394) Ber. Nay , never pull , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.395) for I will not go . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.396) Lov. Then you must be carryed . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.397) Carrying her . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.398) Ber. Help , help , (VANBR-E3-P2,69.399) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} Ravish'd , ruin'd , undone . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.400) O Lord , I shall never be able to bear it . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.401) Very softly . (VANBR-E3-P2,69.402) SCENE $IV , Sir Tunbelly's House . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.405) Enter Miss Hoyden , Nurse , Young Fashion , and Bull . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.407) Y. Fash. This quick dispatch of yours , Mr. Bull , I take so kindly , it shall give you a claim to my Favour as long as I live , I do assure you . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.408) Miss . And to mine too , I promise you . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.409) Bull . I most humbly thank your Honours ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.410) and I hope , since it has been my Lot to join you in the Holy Bands of Wedlock , you will so well Cultivate the Soil which I have crav'd a Blessing on , that your Children may swarm about you like Bees about a Honey Comb . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.411) Miss . I Cod with all my Heart , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.412) the more the merrier , I say ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.413) ha , Nurse ? (VANBR-E3-P2,70.414) Enter Lory taking his Master hastily aside . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.415) Lo. One Word with you , for Heaven's sake . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.416) Y. Fash. What the $Devil $'s {TEXT:Devil's} the matter ? (VANBR-E3-P2,70.417) Lo. Sir , your $Fortune $'s {TEXT:Fortune's} ruin'd , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.418) and I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} think your $Life $'s {TEXT:Life's} worth a quarter of an Hour's Purchase : (VANBR-E3-P2,70.419) $Yonder $'s {TEXT:Yonder's} your Brother arriv'd with two Coaches and six Horses , twenty Footmen and Pages , a Coat worth Four-score Pound , and a Periwig down to his Knees ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.420) so judge what will become of your Lady's Heart . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.421) Y. Fash. Death and Furies , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} impossible ! (VANBR-E3-P2,70.422) Lo. Fiends and Spectres , Sir , $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} true . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.423) Y. Fash. Is he in the House yet ? (VANBR-E3-P2,70.424) Lo. No , they are Capitulating with him at the Gate ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.425) the Porter tells him , $he $'s {TEXT:he's} come to run away with Miss Hoyden , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.426) and has Cock'd the Blunderbuss at him ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.427) your Brother swears Gad Damme , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.428) they are a parcel of Clawns , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.429) and he had a good mind to break off the Match ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.430) but they have given the Word for Sir Tunbelly , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.431) so I doubt all will come out presently . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.432) Pray Sir resolve what $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} do this Moment , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.433) for I Gad $they $'ll {TEXT:they'll} maul you . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.434) Y. Fash. Stay a little . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.435) To Miss . My Dear , $here $'s {TEXT:here's} a troublesome Business my Man tells me of ; (VANBR-E3-P2,70.436) but $do $n't {TEXT:don't} be frighten'd , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.437) we shall be too hard for the Rogue . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.438) $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} an Impudent Fellow at the Gate not knowing I was come hither incognito has taken my Name upon him , in hopes to run away with you . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.439) Miss . O the Brazen-fac'd Varlet , $it $'s {TEXT:it's} well we are Married , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.440) or may be we might never a been so . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.441) Y. Fash. aside . I Gad , like enough : (VANBR-E3-P2,70.442) $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prithee} , dear Doctor , run to Sir Tunbelly , (VANBR-E3-P2,70.443) and stop him from going to the Gate , before I speak with him . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.444) Bull . I fly , my good Lord - (VANBR-E3-P2,70.445) Exit Bull . (VANBR-E3-P2,70.446) Nurse . $An $'t {TEXT:An't} please your Honour , my Lady and I had best lock ourselves up till the danger be over . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.448) Y. Fash. Ay , by all means . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.449) Miss . Not so fast , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.450) I $wo $n't {TEXT:won't} be lock'd up any more . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.451) $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} Marry'd . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.452) Y. Fash. Yes , pray my Dear do , 'till we have seiz'd this Rascal . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.453) Miss . Nay , if you pray me , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} do any thing . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.454) Exeunt Miss and Nurse . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.455) Y. Fash. O ! $here $'s {TEXT:here's} Sir Tunbelly coming . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.456) To Lo. (VANBR-E3-P2,71.457) Hark you , Sirrah , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.458) things are better than you imagine ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.459) the $Wedding $'s {TEXT:Wedding's} over . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.460) Lo. The Devil it is , Sir . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.461) Y. Fash. Not a Word , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.462) $all $'s {TEXT:all's} safe : (VANBR-E3-P2,71.463) But Sir Tunbelly $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know it , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.464) nor must not yet ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.465) so I am resolv'd to brazen the Business out , and have the Pleasure of turning the Impostor upon his Lordship , which I believe may easily be done . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.466) Enter Sir Tunbelly , Chap. and Servants Arm'd . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.467) Y. Fash. Did you ever hear , Sir , of so impudent an Undertaking ? (VANBR-E3-P2,71.468) Sir Tun. Never , by the Mass , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.469) but $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} tickle him $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant him . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.470) Y. Fash. They tell me , Sir , he has a great many People with him disguis'd like Servants . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.471) Sir Tun. Ay , ay , Rogues , enough ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.472) but $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} soon raise the Posse upon'em . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.473) Y. Fash. Sir , if $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} take my advice , $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} go a shorter way to work ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.474) I find whoever this Spark is , he knows nothing of my being privately here ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.475) so if you pretend to receive him civilly , $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} enter without Suspicion ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.476) and as soon as he is within the Gate , $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} whip up the Draw-bridge upon his Back , let fly the Blunderbuss to disperse his Crew , and so commit him to Gaol . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.477) Sir Tun. I Gad , your Lordship is an ingenious Person , and a very great General ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.478) but shall we kill any of 'em or not ? (VANBR-E3-P2,71.479) Y. Fash. No , no , fire over their Heads only to fright 'em ; (VANBR-E3-P2,71.480) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} warrant the Regiment scours when the $Colonel $'s {TEXT:Colonel's} a Prisoner . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.481) Sir Tun. Then come along my Boys , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.482) and let your Courage be great - (VANBR-E3-P2,71.483) for your Danger is but small . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.484) Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.485) SCENE $V , The Gate . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.487) Enter Lord Foppington and Followers . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.489) Lord Fop. A Pax of these Bumkinly People , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.490) will they open the Gate , (VANBR-E3-P2,71.491) or do they desire I should grow at their Moat-side like a Willow ? (VANBR-E3-P2,71.492) To the Porter . (VANBR-E3-P2,71.493) Hey , Fellow - $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prithee} do me the Favour , in as few words as thou canst find to express thy self , to tell me whether thy Master will admit me or not , that I may turn about my Coach and be gone . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.494) Por. $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} my Master himself now at hand ; (VANBR-E3-P2,72.495) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} of Age , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.496) $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} give you his Answer . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.497) Enter Sir Tunbelly , and Servants . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.498) Sir Tun. My most noble Lord , I crave your pardon for making your Honour wait so long ; (VANBR-E3-P2,72.499) but my Orders to my Servants have been to admit no body , without my knowledge , for fear of some attempt upon my Daughter , the Times being full of Plots and Roguery . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.500) Lord Fop. Much Caution , I must confess , is a Sign of great Wisdom : (VANBR-E3-P2,72.501) But , stap my Vitals , I have got a Cold enough to destroy a Porter , - he , hem - (VANBR-E3-P2,72.502) Sir Tun. I am very sorry for't , indeed , my Lord ; (VANBR-E3-P2,72.503) but if your Lordship please to walk in , $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} help you to some Brown Sugar-Candy . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.504) My Lord , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} shew you the way . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.505) Lord Fop. Sir , I follow you with Pleasure . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.506) Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.507) As Lord Foppington's Servants go to follow him in , they clap the Door against La Verole . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.508) Servants within . Nay , hold you me there , Sir . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.509) La Ver. (VANBR-E3-P2,72.510) Jernie-die , qu'est ce que veut dire c~a ? (VANBR-E3-P2,72.511) Sir Tun. within . - Fire , Porter . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.512) Porter fires . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.513) Have among ye , my Masters . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.514) La Var. (VANBR-E3-P2,72.515) Ah je suis mort - (VANBR-E3-P2,72.516) The servants all run off . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.517) Port. Not one Soldier left , by the Mass . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.518) Scene VI . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.520) SCENE changes to the Hall . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.521) Enter Sir Tunbelly , the Chaplain and Servants , with Lord Foppington Disarm'd . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.523) Sir Tun. Come , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.524) bring him along , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.525) bring him along . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.526) Lord Fop. What the Pax do you mean , Gentlemen , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.527) is it Fair time , that you are all drunk before Dinner ? (VANBR-E3-P2,72.528) Sir Tun. Drunk , Sirrah ? (VANBR-E3-P2,72.529) $Here $'s {TEXT:Here's} an Impudent Rogue for you ; (VANBR-E3-P2,72.530) Drunk or Sober , Bully , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} a Justice of the Peace , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.531) and know how to deal with Strolers . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.532) Lord Fop. Strolers ! (VANBR-E3-P2,72.533) Sir Tun. Ay , Strolers ; (VANBR-E3-P2,72.534) come (VANBR-E3-P2,72.535) give an account of yourself , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.536) $what $'s {TEXT:what's} your Name , (VANBR-E3-P2,72.537) where do you live ? (VANBR-E3-P2,72.538) Do you pay Scott and Lott ? (VANBR-E3-P2,72.539) Are you a Williamite , or a Jacobite ? (VANBR-E3-P2,72.540) Come . (VANBR-E3-P2,72.541) Lord Fop. And why dost thou ask me so many impertinent Questions ? (VANBR-E3-P2,73.543) Sir Tun. Because $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} make you answer 'em before I have done with you , you Rascal you . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.544) Lord Fop. Before Gad , all the Answer I can make thee to 'em , is , that thou art a very extraordinary old Fellow ; stap my Vitals - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.545) Sir Tun. Nay , if you are for Joking with Deputy-Lieutenants , $we $'st {TEXT:we'st} know how to deal with you : (VANBR-E3-P2,73.546) Here , draw a Warrant for him immediately . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.547) Lord Fop. A Warrant - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.548) what the Devil $is $'t {TEXT:is't} thou would'st be at , Old Gentleman ? (VANBR-E3-P2,73.549) Sir Tun. I wou'd be at you , Sirrah , if my Hands were not ty'd as a Magistrate and with these two double Fists beat your Teeth down your Throat , you Dog you . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.550) Lord Fop. And why would'st thou spoil my Face at that rate ? (VANBR-E3-P2,73.551) Sir Tun. For your Design to Rob me of my Daughter , Villain . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.552) Lord Fop. Rab thee of thy Daughter - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.553) Now I do begin to believe I am a-Bed and a-sleep , and that all this is but a Dream - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.554) If it be , $'t $will {TEXT:'twill} be an agreeable surprize enough , to waken by and by ; and instead of the impertinent Company of a Nasty Country Justice , find my self , perhaps , in the Arms of a Woman of Quality (VANBR-E3-P2,73.555) To Sir Tun. - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.556) $Pray $thee {TEXT:Prithee} , Old Father , wilt thou give me leave to ask thee one Question ? (VANBR-E3-P2,73.557) Sir Tun. I $can $n't {TEXT:can't} tell whether I will or not , 'till I know what it is . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.558) Lord Fop. Why , then it is , whether thou didst not write to my Lord Foppington to come down and Marry thy Daughter ? (VANBR-E3-P2,73.559) Sir Tun. Yes , marry did I ; (VANBR-E3-P2,73.560) and my Lord Foppington is come down , (VANBR-E3-P2,73.561) and shall Marry my Daughter before $she $'s {TEXT:she's} a Day older . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.562) Lord Fop. Now give me thy Hand , dear Dad , (VANBR-E3-P2,73.563) I thought we should understand one another at last . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.564) Sir Tun. This $Fellow $'s {TEXT:Fellow's} mad - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.565) here bind him Hand and Foot . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.566) They bind him down . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.567) Lord Fop. Nay , $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} , Knight , leave fooling , (VANBR-E3-P2,73.568) thy Jeast begins to grow dull . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.569) Sir Tun. Bind him , I say , (VANBR-E3-P2,73.570) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} mad - (VANBR-E3-P2,73.571) Bread and Water , a Dark Room , and a Whip , may bring him to his Senses again . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.572) Lord Fop. aside . I Gad , if I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} waken quickly , by all that I can see , this is like to prove one of the most impertinent Dreams that ever I dreamt in my Life . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.573) Enter Miss and Nurse . Miss going up to him . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.574) Miss . Is this he that wou'd have run away with me ? (VANBR-E3-P2,73.575) Fough , how he stinks of sweets ! (VANBR-E3-P2,73.576) Pray , Father , let him be dragg'd through the Horse-Pond . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.577) Lord Fop. aside . This must be my Wife by her Natural Inclination to her Husband . (VANBR-E3-P2,73.578) Miss . Pray , Father , what do you intend to do with him , (VANBR-E3-P2,74.580) hang him ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.581) Sir Tun. That , at least , Child . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.582) Nurse . Ay , and $it $'s {TEXT:it's} e'en too good for him too . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.583) Lord Fop. aside . Madam la Gouvernante , I presume ; (VANBR-E3-P2,74.584) hitherto this appears to me , to be one of the most extraordinary Families that ever Man of Quality match'd into . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.585) Sir Tun. $What $'s {TEXT:What's} become of my Lord , Daughter ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.586) Miss . $He $'s {TEXT:He's} just coming , Sir . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.587) Lord Fop. aside . My Lord - What does he mean by that now ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.588) Enter Young Fashion and Lory . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.589) Seeing him . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.590) Stap $my {TEXT:by} Vitals , Tam , now the $Dream $'s {TEXT:Dream's} out . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.591) Y. Fash. Is this the Fellow , Sir , that design'd to trick me of your Daughter ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.592) Sir Tun. This is he , my Lord , (VANBR-E3-P2,74.593) how do you like him ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.594) Is not he a pretty Fellow to get a Fortune ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.595) Y. Fash. I find by his Dress , he thought your Daughter might be taken with a Beau . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.596) Miss . O gimmeni ! (VANBR-E3-P2,74.597) Is this a Beau ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.598) let me see him again - ha ! (VANBR-E3-P2,74.599) I find a $Beau $'s {TEXT:Beau's} no such an ugly thing neither . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.600) Y. Fash. I Gad , $she $'ll {TEXT:she'll} be in love with him presently ; (VANBR-E3-P2,74.601) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} e'en have him sent away to Gaol . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.602) To Lord Fop. Sir , tho' your Undertaking shews you are a Person of no extraordinary Modesty , I suppose you $ha $n't {TEXT:han't} Confidence enough to expect much Favour from me ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.603) Lord Fop. Strike me dumb , (VANBR-E3-P2,74.604) Tam , thou art a very impudent Fellow . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.605) Nurse . Look if the Varlet has not the Frontery to call his Lordship plain Thomas . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.606) Bull . The business is , he wou'd feign himself Mad , to avoid going to Gaol . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.607) Lord Fop. aside . That must be the Chaplain , by his Unfolding of Mysteries . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.608) Sir Tun. Come , (VANBR-E3-P2,74.609) is the Warrant writ ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.610) Cler. Yes , Sir . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.611) Sir Tun. Give me the Pen , (VANBR-E3-P2,74.612) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} sign it - (VANBR-E3-P2,74.613) So , now Constable away with him . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.614) Lord Fop. Hold one Moment - (VANBR-E3-P2,74.615) Pray , Gentlemen ; my Lord Foppington , shall I beg one Word with your Lordship ? (VANBR-E3-P2,74.616) Nurse . O ho , $it $'s {TEXT:it's} my Lord with him now ; (VANBR-E3-P2,74.617) see how Afflictions will humble Folks . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.618) Miss . Pray , my Lord , $do $n't {TEXT:don't} let him whisper too close , lest he bite your Ear off . (VANBR-E3-P2,74.619) Lord Fop. I am not altogether so Hungry , as your Ladyship is pleased to imagine . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.621) To Young Fash. Look you , Tam , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.622) I am sensible I have not been so kind to you as I ought , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.623) but I hope $you $'ll {TEXT:you'll} forget $what $'s {TEXT:what's} past , and accept of the Five Thousand Pounds I offer ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.624) thou may'st live in extream Splendour with it ; stap my Vitals . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.625) Y. Fash. $It $'s {TEXT:It's} a much easier matter to prevent a Disease than to cure it ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.626) a quarter of that Sum would have secur'd your Mistress ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.627) twice as much $wo $n't {TEXT:won't} redeem her . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.628) Leaving him . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.629) Sir Tun. Well , what says he ? (VANBR-E3-P2,75.630) Y. Fash. Only the Rascal offer'd me a Bribe to let him go . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.631) Sir Tun. Ay , he shall go with a Pox to him : (VANBR-E3-P2,75.632) Lead on , Constable . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.633) Lord Fop. One word more , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.634) and I have done . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.635) Sir Tun. Before Gad , thou art an impudent Fellow , to trouble the Court at this rate , after thou art Condemn'd ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.636) but speak once for all . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.637) Lord Fop. Why then once for all ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.638) I have at last luckily call'd to mind , that there is a Gentleman of this Country , who I believe $can $not {TEXT:cannot} live far from this place , if he were here would satisfy you , I am Navelty , Baron of Foppington , with five thousand Pounds a Year , and that Fellow there , a Rascal not worth a Groat . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.639) Sir Tun. Very well ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.640) now who is this honest Gentleman you are so well acquainted with . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.641) To Y. Fash. Come , Sir , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.642) we shall hamper him . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.643) Lord Fop. $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} Sir John Friendly . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.644) Sir Tun. So ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.645) he lives within half a Mile , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.646) and came down into the Country but last Night ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.647) this bold-fac'd Fellow thought he had been at London still , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.648) and so quoted him ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.649) now we shall display him in his Colours : (VANBR-E3-P2,75.650) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} send for Sir John immediately : (VANBR-E3-P2,75.651) Here , Fellow , away presently , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.652) and desire my Neighbour $he $'ll {TEXT:he'll} do me the favour to step over , upon an extraordinary occasion ; (VANBR-E3-P2,75.653) and in the mean while you had best secure this Sharper in the Gate-House . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.654) Const. $An $'t {TEXT:An't} please your Worship , he may chance to give us the Slip thence : (VANBR-E3-P2,75.655) If I were worthy to advise , I think the $Dog-kennel $'s {TEXT:Dog-kennel's} a surer place . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.656) Sir Tun. With all my heart , any where . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.657) Lord Fop. Nay , for Heaven's sake , Sir , do me the favour to put me in a clean Room , that I $may $n't {TEXT:mayn't} daub my Cloaths . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.658) Sir Tun. O when you have Married my Daughter , her Estate will afford you new ones : (VANBR-E3-P2,75.659) Away with him . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.660) Lord Fop. A Dirty Country Justice is a barbarous Magistrate ; stap my Vitals - (VANBR-E3-P2,75.661) Exit Constable with Lord Foppington . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.662) Y. Fash. aside . I gad I must prevent this Knight's coming , (VANBR-E3-P2,75.663) or the House will grow soon too hot to hold me . (VANBR-E3-P2,75.664) to Sir Tun. Sir , I fancy $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} not worth while to trouble Sir John upon this impertinent Fellow's desire : (VANBR-E3-P2,75.665) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} send and call the Messenger back - (VANBR-E3-P2,75.666) Sir Tun. Nay , with all my heart ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.668) for to be sure he thought he was far nough off , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.669) or the Rogue wou'd never have nam'd him . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.670) Enter Servant . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.671) Serv. Sir , I met Sir John just lighting at the Gate , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.672) $he $'s {TEXT:he's} come to wait upon you . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.673) Sir Tun. Nay , then it happens as one cou'd wish . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.674) Y. Fash. aside . The Devil it does : (VANBR-E3-P2,76.675) Lory , you see how things are , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.676) here will be a discovery presently , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.677) and we shall have our Brains beat out ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.678) for my Brother will be sure to Swear he $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know me ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.679) therefore run into the Stable , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.680) take the two first Horses you can light on , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.681) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} slip out at the Back Door , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.682) and $we $'ll {TEXT:we'll} away immediately . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.683) Lo. What , and leave your Lady , Sir ? (VANBR-E3-P2,76.684) Y. Fash. There 's no Danger in that , as long as I have taken possession , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.685) I shall know how to treat with 'em well enough , if once I am out of their Reach : (VANBR-E3-P2,76.686) Away , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.687) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} steal after thee . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.688) Exit Lory , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.689) his Master follows him out at one Door , as Sir John enters at t'other . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.690) Enter Sir John . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.691) Sir Tun. Sir John , you are the welcom'st Man alive ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.692) I had just sent a Messenger to desire $you $'d {TEXT:you'd} step over , upon a very extraordinary occasion - (VANBR-E3-P2,76.693) we are all in Arms here . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.694) Sir John . How so ? (VANBR-E3-P2,76.695) Sir Tun. Why you must know - (VANBR-E3-P2,76.696) a finical sort of a tawdry Fellow here I $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know who the Devil he is , not I hearing I suppose , that the Match was concluded between my Lord Foppington , and my Girl Hoyden , comes impudently to the Gate , with a whole pack of Rogues in Liveries , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.697) and wou'd have pass'd upon me for his Lordship ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.698) but what does I ? (VANBR-E3-P2,76.699) I comes up to him boldly at the head of his Guards , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.700) takes him by the Throat , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.701) strikes up his heels , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.702) binds him hand and foot , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.703) dispatches a Warrant , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.704) and Commits him Prisoner to the Dog-kennel . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.705) Sir John . So , but how do you know but this was my Lord ? (VANBR-E3-P2,76.706) for I was told he set out from London the Day before me , with a very fine Retinue , and intended to come directly hither . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.707) Sir Tun. Why now to shew you how many Lies People raise in that damn'd Town , he came two Nights ago Post , with only one Servant , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.708) and is now in the House with me ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.709) but you $do $n't {TEXT:don't} know the Cream of the Jest yet ; (VANBR-E3-P2,76.710) this same Rogue that lies yonder Neck and Heels among the Hounds thinking you were out of the Country , quotes you for his Acquaintance , (VANBR-E3-P2,76.711) and said if you were here , $you $'d {TEXT:you'd} justify him to be Lord Foppington , and I know not what . (VANBR-E3-P2,76.712) Sir John . Pray will you let me see him ? (VANBR-E3-P2,76.713) Sir Tun. Ay , that you shall presently - (VANBR-E3-P2,77.715) here , fetch the Prisoner . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.716) Exit Servant . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.717) Sir John . I wish there $be $n't {TEXT:ben't} some mistake in this business , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.718) $where $'s {TEXT:where's} my Lord ? (VANBR-E3-P2,77.719) I know him very well . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.720) Sir Tun. He was here just now ; (VANBR-E3-P2,77.721) see for him , Doctor , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.722) tell him Sir John is here to wait upon him . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.723) Ex. Chaplain . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.724) Sir John . I hope , Sir Tunbelly , the young Lady is not Married yet . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.725) Sir Tun. No , things $wo $n't {TEXT:won't} be ready this week ; (VANBR-E3-P2,77.726) but why do you say you hope she is not Married ? (VANBR-E3-P2,77.727) Sir John . Some foolish fancies only , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.728) perhaps $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} mistaken . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.729) Re-enter Chaplain . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.730) Bull . Sir , his Lordship is just rid out to take the Air . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.731) Sir Tun. To take the Air ! (VANBR-E3-P2,77.732) Is that his London Breeding to go to take the Air , when Gentlemen come to visit him ? (VANBR-E3-P2,77.733) Sir John . $'T $is {TEXT:'Tis} possible he might want it , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.734) he might not be well , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.735) some sudden Qualm perhaps . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.736) Enter Constable , &c. with Lord Foppington . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.737) Lord Fop. Stap my Vitals , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} have Satisfaction . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.738) Sir John . running to him . My dear Lord Foppington ! (VANBR-E3-P2,77.739) Lord Fop. Dear Friendly , thou art come in the Critical Minute , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.740) strike me dumb . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.741) Sir John . Why , I little thought I shou'd have found you in Fetters . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.742) Lord Fop. Why truly the World must do me the justice to confess I do use to appear a little more de`gage` : (VANBR-E3-P2,77.743) But this Old Gentleman , not liking the freedom of my Air , has been pleased to Skewer down my Arms like a Rabbit . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.744) Sir Tun. Is it then possible that this shou'd be the true Lord Foppington at last ? (VANBR-E3-P2,77.745) Lord Fop. Why what do you see in his Face to make you doubt of it ? (VANBR-E3-P2,77.746) Sir , without presuming to have any extraordinary Opinion of my Figure , give me leave to tell you , if you had seen as many Lords as I have done , you would not think it impossible a Person of a worse Taille than mine , might be a modern Man of Quality . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.747) Sir Tun. Unbind him , Slaves : (VANBR-E3-P2,77.748) my Lord , $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} struck dumb , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.749) I can only beg pardon by Signs ; (VANBR-E3-P2,77.750) but if a Sacrifice will appease you , you shall have it . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.751) Here , pursue this Tartar , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.752) bring him back - (VANBR-E3-P2,77.753) Away , I say , a Dog oons - (VANBR-E3-P2,77.754) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} cut off his Ears and his Tail , (VANBR-E3-P2,77.755) $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} draw out all his Teeth , pull his Skin over his Head - (VANBR-E3-P2,77.756) and - what shall I do more ? (VANBR-E3-P2,77.757) Sir John . He does indeed deserve to be made an Example of . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.758) Lord Fop. He does deserve to be chartre` , stap my Vitals . (VANBR-E3-P2,77.759) Sir Tun. May I then hope I have your Honour's Pardon ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.761) Lord Fop. Sir , we Courtiers do nothing without a Bribe , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.762) that fair young Lady might do Miracles . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.763) Sir Tun. Hoyden , come hither , Hoyden . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.764) Lord Fop. Hoyden is her Name , Sir ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.765) Sir Tun. Yes , my Lord . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.766) Lord Fop. The prettiest Name for a Song I ever heard . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.767) Sir Tun. My Lord - $here $'s {TEXT:here's} my Girl , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.768) $she $'s {TEXT:she's} yours , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.769) she has a wholesom Body , and a Vertuous Mind ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.770) $she $'s {TEXT:she's} a Woman compleat , both in Flesh and in Spirit ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.771) she has a Bag of Mill'd Crowns , as scarce as they are , and fifteen hundred a year stitch'd fast to her Tail , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.772) so go thy ways , Hoyden . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.773) Lord Fop. Sir , I do receive her like a Gentleman . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.774) Sir Tun. Then $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} a happy Man , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.775) I bless Heaven , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.776) and if your Lordship will give me leave , I will like a good Christian at Christmas , be very drunk by way of thanksgiving ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.777) come , my Noble Peer , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.778) I believe $Dinner $'s {TEXT:Dinner's} ready (VANBR-E3-P2,78.779) if your Honour pleases to follow me , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} lead you on to the Attack of Venison Pasty . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.780) Exit Sir Tun. (VANBR-E3-P2,78.781) Lord Fop. Sir , I wait upon you : (VANBR-E3-P2,78.782) Will your Ladyship do me the favour of your Little Finger , Madam ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.783) Miss . My Lord , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} follow you presently , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.784) I have a little business with my Nurse . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.785) Lord Fop. Your Ladyship's most humble Servant ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.786) come , Sir John , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.787) the Ladies have des affaires . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.788) Exeunt Lord Fop. and Sir John . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.789) Miss . So , Nurse , we are finely brought to bed , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.790) what shall we do now ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.791) Nurse . Ah dear Miss , we are all undone ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.792) Mr. Bull , you were us'd to help a Woman to a Remedy . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.793) Crying . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.794) Bull . A lack a day , but $it $'s {TEXT:it's} past my Skill now , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.795) I can do nothing . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.796) Nurse . Who wou'd have thought that ever your Invention shou'd have been drain'd so dry ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.797) Miss . Well , I have often thought old folks Fools , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.798) and now $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} sure they are so ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.799) I have found a way my self to secure us all . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.800) Nurse . Dear Lady $what $'s {TEXT:what's} that ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.801) Miss . Why , if you two will be sure to hold your tongues , and not say a word of $what $'s {TEXT:what's} past , $I $'ll {TEXT:I'll} e'en marry this Lord too . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.802) Nurse . What ! two Husbands , my Dear ? (VANBR-E3-P2,78.803) Miss . Why you had three , good Nurse , (VANBR-E3-P2,78.804) you may hold your tongue . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.805) Nurse . Ay , but not all together , sweet Child . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.806) Miss . Psha , if you had , $you $'d {TEXT:you'd} ne'er a thought much on't . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.807) Nurse . O but $'t $is {TEXT:'tis} a Sin - Sweeting . (VANBR-E3-P2,78.808) Bull . Nay , $that $'s {TEXT:that's} my business to speak to , Nurse ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.809) I do confess , to take two Husbands for the satisfaction of the Flesh , is to commit the Sin of Exorbitancy ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.810) but to do it for the Peace of the Spirit , is no more than be drunk by way of Physick ; (VANBR-E3-P2,78.811) besides , to prevent a Parent's Wrath , is to avoid the Sin of Disobedience ; (VANBR-E3-P2,79.812) for when the $Parent $'s {TEXT:Parent's} angry , the Child is froward . So that upon the whole Matter , I do think , tho' Miss shou'd Marry again , she may be sav'd . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.813) Miss . I Cod , and I will marry again then , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.814) and so there is an end of the Story . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.815) Exeunt . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.816) End of the Fourth Act . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.818) ACT V. SCENE $I London . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.821) Enter Coupler , Young Fashion , and Lory . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.823) Coup. Well , and so Sir John coming in - (VANBR-E3-P2,79.824) Y. Fash. And so Sir John coming in , I thought it might be manners in me to go out , which I did , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.825) and getting on Horseback as fast as I cou'd , rid away as if the Devil had been at the Reer of me ; (VANBR-E3-P2,79.826) what has happen'd since , Heav'n knows . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.827) Coup. I gad , Sirrah , I know as well as Heaven . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.828) Y. Fash. What do you know ? (VANBR-E3-P2,79.829) Coup. (VANBR-E3-P2,79.830) That you are a Cuckold . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.831) Y. Fash. The Devil I am ? (VANBR-E3-P2,79.832) By who ? (VANBR-E3-P2,79.833) Coup. By your Brother . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.834) Y. Fash. My Brother ! (VANBR-E3-P2,79.835) which way ? (VANBR-E3-P2,79.836) Coup. (VANBR-E3-P2,79.837) The old way , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.838) he has lain with your Wife . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.839) Y. Fash. Hell and Furies , what dost thou mean ? (VANBR-E3-P2,79.840) Coup. I mean plainly , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.841) I speak no Parable . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.842) Y. Fash. Plainly ! (VANBR-E3-P2,79.843) Thou dost not speak common sense , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.844) I $can $not {TEXT:cannot} understand one Word thou say'st . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.845) Coup. You will do soon , Youngster . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.846) In short , you left your Wife a Widow , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.847) and she Married again . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.848) Y. Fash. $It $'s {TEXT:It's} a Lye . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.849) Coup. - I cod , if I were a young Fellow , $I $'d {TEXT:I'd} break your Head , Sirrah . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.850) Y. Fash. Dear Dad , $do $n't {TEXT:don't} be angry , (VANBR-E3-P2,79.851) for $I $'m {TEXT:I'm} as mad as Tom of Bedlam . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.852) Coup. When I had fitted you with a Wife , you shou'd have kept her . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.853) Y. Fash. But is it possible the young Strumpet cou'd play me such a Trick ? (VANBR-E3-P2,79.854) Coup. A young Strumpet , Sir - can play twenty tricks . (VANBR-E3-P2,79.855) Y. Fash. But $pray $thee {TEXT:prithee} instruct me a little farther ; (VANBR-E3-P2,79.856) whence comes thy Intelligence ! (VANBR-E3-P2,79.857)