K01 0010  1    #THIRTY-THREE#
K01 0010  3    SCOTTY did not go back to school. His parents talked
K01 0020  2    seriously and lengthily to their own doctor and to
K01 0020 11    a specialist at the University Hospital- Mr& McKinley
K01 0030  7    was entitled to a discount for members of his family-
K01 0040  7    and it was decided it would be best for him to take
K01 0050  6    the remainder of the term off, spend a lot of time
K01 0060  1    in bed and, for the rest, do pretty much as he chose-
K01 0060 13    provided, of course, he chose to do nothing too exciting
K01 0070  9    or too debilitating. His teacher and his school principal
K01 0080  6    were conferred with and everyone agreed that, if he
K01 0090  4    kept up with a certain amount of work at home, there
K01 0090 15    was little danger of his losing a term.
K01 0100  8       Scotty accepted the decision with indifference and
K01 0110  4    did not enter the arguments.
K01 0110  9       He was discharged from the hospital after a two-day
K01 0120  9    checkup and he and his parents had what Mr& McKinley
K01 0130  6    described as a "celebration lunch" at the cafeteria
K01 0140  4    on the campus. Rachel wore a smart hat and, because
K01 0150  1    she had been warned recently about smoking, puffed
K01 0150  9    at her cigarettes through a long ivory holder stained
K01 0160  7    with lipstick. Scotty's father sat sprawled in his
K01 0170  5    chair, angular, alert as a cricket, looking about at
K01 0180  2    the huge stainless-steel appointments of the room with
K01 0180 11    an expression of proprietorship.
K01 0190  3       Teachers- men who wore brown suits and had gray
K01 0200  3    hair and pleasant smiles- came to their table to talk
K01 0200 13    shop and to be introduced to Scotty and Rachel. Rachel
K01 0210 10    was polite, Scotty indifferent. They ate the cafeteria
K01 0220  6    food with its orange sauces and Scotty gazed without
K01 0230  5    interest at his food, the teachers, the heroic baronial
K01 0240  2    windows, and the bright ranks of college banners. His
K01 0240 11    father tried to make the food a topic.
K01 0250  8       "The blueberry pie is good, Scotty. I recommend
K01 0260  4    it". He looked at his son, his face worried. Scotty
K01 0270  2    murmured, "No, thanks", so softly his father had to
K01 0280  1    bend his gaunt height across the table and turn a round
K01 0280 12    brown ear to him. Scotty regarded the ear and the grizzled
K01 0290  8    hair around it with a moment of interest. He said more
K01 0300  6    loudly, "I'm full, old Pop". He had eaten almost nothing
K01 0310  5    on the crested, three-sectioned plate and had drunk
K01 0320  3    about half the milk in its paper container.
K01 0320 11       "He's all right, Craig", Rachel said. "I can fix
K01 0330  9    him something later in the afternoon when we get home".
K01 0340  8       Since his seizure, Scotty had had little appetite;
K01 0350  5    yet his changed appearance, surprisingly, was one of
K01 0360  4    plumpness. His face was fuller; his lips and the usually
K01 0370  1    sharp lines of his jaw had become swollen-looking.
K01 0370 10    He breathed now with his mouth open, showing a whitely
K01 0380  8    curving section of lower teeth; he kept his eyes, with
K01 0390  6    their puffed blurred lids, always lowered, though not,
K01 0400  3    apparently, focusing. Even his neck seemed thicker
K01 0400 10    and therefore shorter. His hands, which had been as
K01 0410  9    quick as a pair of fluttering birds, were now neither
K01 0420  5    active nor really relaxed. They lay on his lap, palms
K01 0430  5    up, stiffly motionless, the tapered fingers a little
K01 0440  1    thick at the joints. Altogether he had, since the seizure,
K01 0440 11    the appearance of a boy who overindulged in food and
K01 0450  9    took no exercise. He looked lazy, spoiled, a little
K01 0460  5    querulous.
K01 0460  6       Rachel had little to say. She greeted her husband's
K01 0470  5    colleagues with smiling politeness, offering nothing.
K01 0480  2    Mr& McKinley, for all his sprawling and his easy familiarity,
K01 0490  1    was completely alert to his son, eyes always on the
K01 0490 11    still face, jumping to anticipate Scotty's desires.
K01 0500  7    It was a strained, silent lunch.
K01 0510  2       Rachel said, "I'd better get him to bed".
K01 0520  1       The doctors had suggested Scotty remain most of
K01 0520  9    every afternoon in bed until he was stronger.
K01 0530  7       Since Mr& McKinley had to give a lecture, Rachel
K01 0540  5    and Scotty drove home alone in the Plymouth. They did
K01 0550  3    not speak much. Scotty gazed out at ugly gray slums
K01 0550 13    and said softly, "Look at those stupid kids". It was
K01 0560 10    a Negro section of peeling row houses, store-front
K01 0570  7    churches and ragged children. Rachel had to bend toward
K01 0580  5    Scotty and ask him to repeat. He said, "Nothing". And
K01 0590  2    then: "There are lots of kids around here".
K01 0600  1       Scotty looked at the children, his mouth slightly
K01 0600  9    opened, his eyes dull. He felt tired and full and calm.
K01 0610  9    #THIRTY-FOUR#
K01 0610 11    THE days seemed short, perhaps because his routine
K01 0620  8    was, each day, almost the same. He rose late and went
K01 0630  8    down in his bathrobe and slippers to have breakfast
K01 0640  3    either alone or with Rachel. Virginia treated him with
K01 0650  1    attention and tried to tempt his appetite with special
K01 0650 10    food: biscuits, cookies, candies- the result of devoted
K01 0660  7    hours in the tiled kitchen. She would hover over him
K01 0670  6    and, looking like her brother, anxiously watch the
K01 0680  3    progress of Scotty's fork or spoon.
K01 0680  9       "You don't eat enough, honey. Try to get that down".
K01 0690  9       Rachel, observing, would say, "He has to rediscover
K01 0700  7    his own capacity. It'll take time".
K01 0710  3       Virginia and Rachel talked to each other quietly
K01 0720  1    now, as allies who are political rather than natural
K01 0720 10    might in a war atmosphere. Both watched Scotty constantly,
K01 0730  6    Rachel without seeming to, Virginia openly, her eyes
K01 0740  6    filled with concern. Scotty was neutral. He did not
K01 0750  4    resent their supervision or Virginia's sometimes tiring
K01 0760  1    sympathy. He ate what he felt like, slept as much or
K01 0760 12    as little as he pleased, and moved about the draughty
K01 0770  8    rooms of the house, when he was not in bed, with slow
K01 0780  7    dubious steps, like an elderly tourist in a cathedral.
K01 0790  2    His energy was gone. He was able, now, to sit for hours
K01 0800  1    in a chair in the living room and stare out at the
K01 0800 13    bleak yard without moving. His hands lay loosely, yet
K01 0810  7    stiffly- they were like wax hands: almost lifelike,
K01 0820  3    not quite- folded in his lap; his mouth hung slightly
K01 0830  2    open. When he was asked a question or addressed in
K01 0830 12    such a way that some response was inescapable, he would
K01 0840  8    answer; if, as often happened, he had to repeat because
K01 0850  7    he had spoken too softly, he would repeat his words
K01 0860  4    in the same way, without emphasis or impatience, only
K01 0870  1    a little louder.
K01 0870  4       He had not mentioned Kate. He had not even thought
K01 0880  2    about her much except once or twice at night in bed
K01 0880 13    when his slowly ranging thoughts would abruptly, almost
K01 0890  7    accidentally, encounter her. At these times he felt
K01 0900  7    a kind of pain in his upper chest, but it was an objective
K01 0910  5    pain, in no way different from others in intensity
K01 0920  1    and not different in kind; it was like the bandaged
K01 0920 11    wound on the back of his head which occasionally throbbed;
K01 0930  7    it was merely another part of his weakness. He was
K01 0940  6    calm, drugged, and lazy. He did not care.
K01 0950  1       Rachel mentioned Kate. She said, "I notice the girl
K01 0950 10    from across the street hasn't bothered to phone or
K01 0960  9    visit".
K01 0960 10       Scotty said, "That's all right. Kate's all right".
K01 0970  8    He thought about it briefly, then deliberately turned
K01 0980  7    the talk to something else.
K01 0990  1       Once, sitting at the front window in his parents'
K01 0990 10    room, he saw Kate come out of her house. She was with
K01 1000 11    Elizabeth. They were far off and looked tiny. The heavy
K01 1010  8    branches in his front yard would hide and then reveal
K01 1020  4    them. They turned at the bottom of Kate's steps and
K01 1030  2    moved off in the direction of the park. He thought
K01 1030 12    he saw- it awakened and, for a moment, interested him-
K01 1040  8    that Elizabeth held a leash in her hand and that a
K01 1050  8    round fuzzy puppy was on the end of the leash. Then
K01 1060  2    they disappeared and Scotty got up and went into his
K01 1060 12    own room and got into bed. By the time he was under
K01 1070 12    the covers he had forgotten about seeing Kate.
K01 1080  4       The doctor, since Scotty was no longer allowed to
K01 1090  3    make his regular trips into town to see him, came often
K01 1100  1    and informally to the house. He would sit, slim-waisted
K01 1100 11    and spare, on the edge of Scotty's bed, his legs crossed
K01 1110 10    so elaborately that the crossed foot could tap the
K01 1120  6    floor. Scotty did not mind the doctor's unsmiling teasing
K01 1130  3    as he used to.
K01 1130  7       "Husky young man", he said with mock distaste. "I
K01 1140  6    imagine you're always battling in school".
K01 1150  1       "I don't go to school any more".
K01 1150  8       "Pardon"? The doctor had to bend close to hear;
K01 1160  9    his delicate hand, as veined as a moth's wing, rested
K01 1170  7    absently on Scotty's chest. Scotty said the same words
K01 1180  5    more loudly. "Oh. Well, we're taking a little vacation,
K01 1190  3    that's all". He turned unsmilingly to Rachel. "I think
K01 1200  2    by the end of next week he could get out in the air
K01 1200 15    a little. He could now but the weakness is very definite;
K01 1210 10    it would exhaust him further and unnecessarily. He'll
K01 1220  6    be stronger soon". His stethoscope was on the table
K01 1230  5    by Scotty's bed and he picked it up and wagged it at
K01 1240  3    Scotty. He said fussily, "Just keep the cap on those
K01 1250  1    strong emotions". The stethoscope glinted silver in
K01 1250  8    the darkening room. "I'll drop by again in a few days".
K01 1260  9       Rachel stayed on after the doctor had gone. She
K01 1270  8    smoothed the covers on Scotty's bed and picked things
K01 1280  5    up from the floor. She did not touch him. Scotty watched
K01 1290  2    with disinterest. He did not speak. He had no desire
K01 1290 12    to.
K01 1300  1       She said, "Do you think you'll miss school"?
K01 1310  1       He had noticed how formal and irritably exact Rachel
K01 1310  9    had grown. He did not care. He felt her irritability
K01 1320  7    did not concern him, yet he knew he would not care
K01 1330  5    even if it did. He shook his head.
K01 1330 13       "We've had any number of calls about you. You could
K01 1340 10    win a popularity contest at that school without any
K01 1350  6    trouble. Miss Estherson called twice. She wants to
K01 1360  4    pay you a visit. She says the children miss you. Apparently
K01 1370  1    you were the light of their lives".
K01 1370  8       Scotty shrugged slightly. Rachel came close to the
K01 1380  7    bed, bent as if she would kiss him, then moved away.
K01 1390  4    She was frowning. "That doctor annoys me". She seemed
K01 1400  2    to speak to herself. "Do you suppose his self-consciousness
K01 1410  1    is characteristic of the new Negro professionals or
K01 1410  9    merely of doctors in general"?
K01 1420  3       She turned to him again. "Well, Mrs& Charles- Sally-
K01 1430  1    has phoned too. She was very worried". Rachel's tone
K01 1440  2    was dry. "She didn't really say"- She glanced away
K01 1450  2    at the floor, then swooped gracefully and picked up
K01 1450 11    one of Scotty's slippers. "I mean, do you feel like
K01 1460  8    seeing Kate"?
K01 1470  1       Scotty said, "I don't know". It was true. He did
K01 1470 11    not. There was the slight pain, but it was no different
K01 1480 10    from the throbbing in his head.
K01 1490  3       "Well, there's time, in any case. We'll wait till
K01 1500  2    you're stronger and then talk about it". She put the
K01 1500 12    slipper neatly by its mate at the foot of the bed.
K01 1520 10       Scotty said, "Okay".
K01 1530  1       This time Rachel kissed him lightly on the forehead.
K01 1530 10    Scotty was pleased.
K01 1540  3       His father was a constant visitor. Scotty would
K01 1550  2    hear the front door in the evening and then his father's
K01 1550 13    deep slow voice; it floated up the stairs.
K01 1560  8       "How's Scotty"?
K01 1570  1       And Rachel's or Virginia's reply: "Better. He's
K01 1580  1    getting plenty of rest".
K01 1580  5       "Is his appetite improved"? Or: "Does he get exercise"?
K01 1590  6       The exchange was almost invariable, and Scotty,
K01 1600  4    in his bed, could hear every word of it. He never smiled.
K01 1610  3    It required an energy he no longer possessed to be
K01 1610 13    satirical about his father. His father would come upstairs
K01 1620  9    and stand self-consciously at the foot of the bed and
K01 1630  8    look at his son. After a pause, during which he studied
K01 1640  5    Scotty's face as if Scotty were not there and could
K01 1650  3    not study him too, Mr& McKinley would ask the same
K01 1670  1    questions he had asked downstairs.
K01 1670  6       Scotty would reply softly and his father, apologetically,
K01 1680  4    would ask him to repeat.
K01 1680  9       "I'm eating more", he would say. Or: "I walk around
K01 1690 10    the house a lot".
K01 1700  2       "Perhaps you should get out a little".
K01 1700  9       "I'm not supposed to yet". He was not irritated.
K01 1710  9    He did not mind the useless, kindly questions. He looked
K01 1720  7    at the lined face with vague interest; he felt he was
K01 1730  6    noting it, as if it were something he might think about
K01 1740  3    when he grew stronger.
K01 1740  7       Mr& McKinley examined everything with critical care,
K01 1750  5    seeking something material to blame for his son's illness.
K01 1760  4       "Have you got enough blankets"? And another time,
K01 1770  3    without accusation: "You never wore that scarf I bought
K01 1780  3    you".
K02 0010  1    Where their sharp edges seemed restless as sea waves
K02 0010 10    thrusting themselves upward in angry motion, Papa-san
K02 0020  7    sat glacier-like, his smooth solidity, his very immobility
K02 0030  4    defying all the turmoil about him. "Our objective",
K02 0040  2    the colonel had said that day of the briefing, "is
K02 0040 12    Papa-san". There the objective sat, brooding over all.
K02 0050  8    Gouge, burn, blast, insult it as they would, could
K02 0060  8    anyone really take Papa-san?
K02 0070  1       Between the ponderous hulk and himself, in the valley
K02 0070 10    over which Papa-san reigned, men had hidden high explosives,
K02 0080  9    booby traps, and mines. The raped valley was a pregnant
K02 0090  8    womb awaiting abortion. On the forward slope in front
K02 0100  6    of his own post stretched two rows of barbed wire.
K02 0110  2    At the slope's base coils of concertina stretched out
K02 0110 11    of eye range like a wild tangle of children's hoops,
K02 0120  9    stopped simultaneously, weirdly poised as if awaiting
K02 0130  6    the magic of the child's touch to start them all rolling
K02 0140  5    again. Closer still, regular barricades of barbed wire
K02 0150  2    hung on timber supports. Was it all vain labor? Who
K02 0150 12    would clean up the mess when the war was over? Smiling
K02 0160 11    at his quixotic thoughts, Warren turned back from the
K02 0170  7    opening and lit a cigarette before sitting down. Tonight
K02 0180  4    a group of men, tomorrow night he himself, would go
K02 0190  3    out there somewhere and wait. If he were to go with
K02 0190 14    White, he would be out there two days, not just listening
K02 0200 11    in the dark at some point between here and Papa-san,
K02 0210  7    but moving ever deeper into enemy land- behind Papa-san
K02 0220  4    itself. Was this what he had expected? He hadn't realized
K02 0230  3    that there would be so much time to think, so many
K02 0240  1    lulls. Somehow he had forgotten what he must have been
K02 0240 11    told, that combat was an intermittent activity. Now
K02 0250  6    he knew that the moment illuminated by the vision on
K02 0260  5    the train would have to be approached. It could take
K02 0270  2    place tomorrow night, or it might occur months from
K02 0270 11    now. There was just too much time. Time to become afraid.
K02 0280 10    White's suggestion flattered, but he did not like the
K02 0290  8    identity. He did not spill over with hatred for the
K02 0300  4    enemy. He hadn't even seen him yet **h
K02 0300 12       Pressing his cigarette out in the earth, Warren
K02 0310  8    walked to the slit and scanned the jagged hills. He
K02 0320  6    saw no life, but still stood there for a time peering
K02 0330  4    at the unlovely hills, his gaze continually returning
K02 0330 12    to Papa-san. He had come here in order to test himself.
K02 0340 12    While most of his beliefs were still unsettled, he
K02 0350  7    knew that he did not believe in killing. Yet, he was
K02 0360  5    here. He had come because he could not live out his
K02 0370  2    life feeling that he had been a coward.
K02 0370 10    ##
K02 0370 11    There were ten men on the patrol which Sergeant Prevot
K02 0380  7    led out that next night. The beaming ~ROK was carrying
K02 0390  5    a thirty-caliber machine gun; another man lugged the
K02 0400  4    tripod and a box of ammunition. Warren and White each
K02 0410  1    carried, in addition to their own weapons and ammo,
K02 0410 10    a box of ammo for the ~ROK's machine gun. Others carried
K02 0420  7    extra clips for the Browning Automatic Rifle, which
K02 0430  5    was in the hands of a little Mexican named Martinez.
K02 0440  3    Prevot had briefed the two new men that afternoon.
K02 0450  1    "We just sit quiet and wait", Prevot had said. "Be
K02 0450 11    sure the man nearest you is awake. If Joe doesn't show
K02 0460 10    up, we'll all be back here at 0600 hours. Otherwise,
K02 0470  7    we hold a reception. Then we pull out under our mortar
K02 0480  5    and artillery cover, but nobody pulls out until I say
K02 0490  3    so. Remember what I said about going out to get anybody
K02 0490 14    left behind? That still holds. We bring back all dead
K02 0500 10    and wounded".
K02 0510  1       At 2130 hours they had passed through the barbed
K02 0510 10    wire at the point of departure. Then began the journey
K02 0520  8    through their own mine fields. Mines. Ours were kinder
K02 0530  5    than theirs, some said. They set bouncing betties to
K02 0540  3    jump and explode at testicle level while we more mercifully
K02 0550  1    had them go off at the head. Mines. Big ones and little.
K02 0550 13    The crude wooden boxes of the enemy, our nicely turned
K02 0560  9    gray metal disks. But theirs defied the detectors.
K02 0570  5    Mines. A foot misplaced, a leg missing. Mines. All
K02 0580  3    sizes: big ones, some wired to set off a whole field,
K02 0590  1    little ones, hand grenade size. Booby traps to fill
K02 0590 10    the head with chunks of metal. Warren tried to shake
K02 0600  8    off the jumble of his fears by looking at the sky.
K02 0610  5    It was dark. Prevot had said that the searchlights
K02 0620  1    would be bounced off the clouds at 2230 hours, "which
K02 0620 11    gives us time to get settled in position".
K02 0630  6       Because they were new men and to be sure that they
K02 0640  6    didn't get lost, Prevot had placed Warren and White
K02 0650  3    in the center of the patrol as it filed out. His eyes
K02 0650 15    now fixed on White's solid figure, Warren could hear
K02 0660  9    behind him the tread of another. He could also hear
K02 0670  7    the stream which he had seen from his position. They
K02 0680  4    were going to follow it for part of their journey.
K02 0690  1    "It's safe", Prevot had said, "and it provides cover
K02 0690 10    for our noise".
K02 0700  2       Soon they were picking their way along the edge
K02 0700 11    of the stream which glowed in the night. On their right
K02 0710 11    rose the embankment covered with brush and trees. If
K02 0720  7    a branch extended out too far, each man held it back
K02 0730  6    for the next, and if they met a low overhang, each
K02 0740  1    warned the other. Thus, stealthily they advanced upstream;
K02 0740  9    then they turned to the right, climbed the embankment,
K02 0750  9    and walked into the valley again. There was no cover
K02 0760  7    here, only grass sighing against pant-legs. And with
K02 0770  5    each sigh, like a whip in the hand of an expert, the
K02 0780  2    grass stripped something from Warren. The gentle whir
K02 0780 10    of each footstep left him more naked than before, until
K02 0790  8    he felt his unprotected flesh tremble, chilled by each
K02 0800  6    new sound. The shapes of the men ahead of him lacked
K02 0810  4    solidity, as if the whip had stripped them of their
K02 0810 14    very flesh. The dark forms moved like mourners on some
K02 0820 10    nocturnal pilgrimage, their dirge unsung for want of
K02 0830  7    vocal chords. The warped, broken trees in the valley
K02 0840  5    assumed wraith-like shapes. Clumps of brush that they
K02 0850  2    passed were so many enchained demons straining in anger
K02 0860  3    to tear and gnaw on his bones. Looming over all, Papa-san
K02 0870  1    leered down at him, threatening a hundred hidden malevolencies.
K02 0870 10    Off in the distance a searchlight flashed on, its beam
K02 0880  9    slashing the sky. The sharp ray was absorbed by a cloud,
K02 0890  8    then reflected to the earth in a softer, diffused radiance.
K02 0900  4    Somewhere over there another patrol had need of light.
K02 0910  3    Warren thought of all the men out that night who, like
K02 0920  1    himself, had left their protective ridge and- fear
K02 0920  9    working at their guts- picked their way into the area
K02 0930  7    beyond. From the east to the west coast of the Korean
K02 0940  5    peninsula was a strip of land in which fear-filled
K02 0950  1    men were at that same moment furtively crawling through
K02 0950 10    the night, sitting in sweaty anticipation of any movement
K02 0960  8    or sound, or shouting amidst confused rifle flashes
K02 0970  5    and muzzle blasts. White's arm went up and Warren raised
K02 0980  5    his own. The patrol was stopping.
K02 0980 11       Prevot came up "Take that spot over there", he whispered,
K02 0990 10    pointing to a small clump of blackness. "Give me your
K02 1000  9    machine gun ammo". Warren handed him the metal box
K02 1010  6    and Prevot quietly disappeared down the line.
K02 1020  2       Lying in the grass behind the brush clump, Warren
K02 1020 11    looked about. The others likewise had hidden themselves
K02 1030  8    in the grass and the brush. Over his shoulder he could
K02 1040  8    see Prevot with the machine gun crew. Even at this
K02 1050  5    short distance they were only vague shapes, setting
K02 1060  1    up the machine gun on a small knoll so that it could
K02 1060 13    fire above the heads of the rest of the patrol.
K02 1070  8       Warren eased his rifle's safety off and gently,
K02 1080  5    slowly sneaked another clip of ammunition from one
K02 1090  2    of the cloth bandoleers that marked the upper part
K02 1090 11    of his body with an ~X. This he placed within quick
K02 1100  8    reach. The walk and his fears had served to overheat
K02 1110  5    him and his sweaty armpits cooled at the touch of the
K02 1120  3    night air. Although the armored vest fitted the upper
K02 1120 12    part of his body snugly, he felt no security. Figures
K02 1130 10    seemed to crouch in the surrounding dark; in the distance
K02 1140  7    he saw a band of men who seemed to advance and retreat
K02 1150  5    even as he watched. Certain this menace was only imaginary,
K02 1160  3    he yet stared in fascinated horror, his hand sticky
K02 1160 12    against the stock of his weapon. He was aware of insistent
K02 1170 11    inner beatings, as if prisoners within sought release
K02 1180  7    from his rigid body.
K02 1190  1       Above, the glowing ivory baton of their searchlight
K02 1190  8    pointed at the clouds, diluting the valley's dark to
K02 1200  6    a pallid light. Then the figures which held his attention
K02 1210  5    became a group of shattered trees, standing like the
K02 1220  3    grotesques of a medieval damnation scene. Even so,
K02 1220 11    he could not ease the tension of his body; the rough
K02 1230 10    surface of the earth itself seemed to resist every
K02 1240  5    attempt on his part to relax. Sensing the unseen presence
K02 1250  3    of the other men in the patrol, he felt mutely united
K02 1260  1    to these nine near-strangers sharing this pinpoint
K02 1260  9    of being with him. He sensed something precious in
K02 1270  6    the perilous moment, something akin to the knowledge
K02 1280  4    gained on his bicycle trip through the French countryside,
K02 1290  1    a knowledge imprisoned in speechlessness.
K02 1290  6       - In France he had puzzled the meaning of the great
K02 1300  9    stone monuments men had thrown up to the sky, and always
K02 1310  7    as he wandered, he felt a stranger to their exultation.
K02 1320  2    They were poems in a strange language, of which he
K02 1320 12    could barely touch a meaning- enough to make his being
K02 1330 10    ache with the desire for the fullness he sensed there.
K02 1340  7    Brittany, that stone-gray mystery through which he
K02 1350  4    traveled for thirty days, sleeping in the barns of
K02 1360  1    farmers or alongside roads, had worked some subtle
K02 1360  9    change in him, he knew, and it was in Brittany that
K02 1370  8    he had met Pierre.
K02 1370 12       Pierre had no hands; they had been severed at the
K02 1380 10    wrists. With leather cups fitted in his handlebars,
K02 1390  5    he steered his bicycle. He and Warren had traveled
K02 1400  2    together for four days. They visited the shipyards
K02 1400 10    at Brest and Pierre had to sign the register, vouching
K02 1410  9    for the integrity of the visiting foreigner. He took
K02 1420  6    the pen in his stumps and began to write.
K02 1430  2       "Wait! Wait"! cried the guard who ran from the hut
K02 1440  2    to shout to other men standing about outside. They
K02 1440 11    crowded the small room and peered over one another's
K02 1450  7    shoulders to watch the handless man write his name
K02 1460  5    in the book.
K02 1460  8       "C'est formidable", they exclaimed.
K02 1470  3       "Mais, oui. C'est merveilleux".
K02 1480  1       And then the questions came, eager, interested questions,
K02 1480  9    and many compliments on his having overcome his infirmity.
K02 1490  7       "Doesn't it ever bother you", Warren had asked,
K02 1500  7    "to have people always asking you about your hands"?
K02 1510  5       "Oh, the French are a very curious people", Pierre
K02 1520  3    had laughed. "They are also honest seekers after truth.
K02 1530  3    Now the English are painfully silent about my missing
K02 1540  1    hands. They refuse to mention or to notice that they
K02 1540 11    are not there. The Americans, like yourself, take the
K02 1550  6    fact for granted, try to be helpful, but don't ask
K02 1560  4    questions. I'm used to all three, but I think the French
K02 1570  3    have the healthiest attitude".
K02 1570  7       That was the day that Pierre had told Warren about
K02 1580  7    the Abbey of Solesmes. "You are looking tired and there
K02 1590  6    you can rest. It will be good for you. I think, too",
K02 1600  4    he said, his dark eyes mischievous, "that you will
K02 1610  1    find there some clue to the secret of the cathedrals
K02 1610 11    about which you have spoken".
K02 1620  3       Within two weeks Warren was ringing the bell at
K02 1630  2    the abbey gate. The monk who opened the door immediately
K02 1630 12    calmed his worries about his reception: "I speak English",
K02 1640  8    the old man said, "but I do not hear it very well".
K02 1650 10    He smiled and stuck a large finger with white hairs
K02 1660  5    sprouting on it into his ear as though that might help.
K02 1670  3    Smiling at Warren's protestations, the old monk took
K02 1680  1    his grip from him and led him down a corridor to a
K02 1680 13    small parlor. "Will you please wait in here.
K03 0010  1    MICKIE SAT over his second whisky-on-the-rocks in a
K03 0010 12    little bar next to the funeral parlor on Pennsylvania
K03 0020  7    Avenue. Al's Little Cafe was small, dark, narrow, and
K03 0030  6    filled with the mingled scent of beer, tobacco smoke,
K03 0040  3    and Italian cooking. Hanging over the bar was an oil
K03 0050  1    painting of a nude Al had accepted from a student at
K03 0050 12    the Corcoran Gallery who needed to eat and drink and
K03 0060  9    was broke. The nude was small and black-haired and
K03 0070  5    elfin, and was called "Eloise".
K03 0070 10       This was one place where Moonan could go for a drink
K03 0080 11    in a back booth without anyone noticing him, or at
K03 0090  6    least coming up and hanging around and wanting to know
K03 0100  4    all the low-down. The other patrons were taxi drivers
K03 0110  1    and art students and small shopkeepers. The reporters
K03 0110  9    had not yet discovered that this was his hideaway.
K03 0120  7       His friend Jane was with him. She was wise enough
K03 0140  6    to realize a man could be good company even if he did
K03 0150  4    weigh too much and didn't own the mint. She was the
K03 0150 15    widow of a writer who had died in an airplane crash,
K03 0160 11    and Mickie had found her a job as head of the historical
K03 0170  9    section of the Treasury. This meant sorting out press
K03 0180  5    clippings and the like.
K03 0180  9       Jane sat receptive and interested. Mickie had a
K03 0190  6    pleasant glow as he said, "You see, both of them, I
K03 0200  5    mean the President and Jeff Lawrence, are romantics.
K03 0210  1    A romantic is one who thinks the world is divinely
K03 0210 11    inspired and all he has to do is find the right key,
K03 0220 11    and then divine justice and altruism will appear. It's
K03 0230  5    like focusing a camera; the distant ship isn't there
K03 0240  3    until you get the focus. You know what I'm talking
K03 0250  1    about. I'm sure all girls feel this way about men until
K03 0250 12    they live with them.
K03 0260  3       "But when it comes to war, the Colonel knows what
K03 0270  1    it is and Jeff doesn't. Mr& Christiansen knows that
K03 0270 10    a soldier will get the Distinguished Service Medal
K03 0280  7    for conduct that would land him in prison for life
K03 0290  6    or the electric chair as a civilian. He had a mean,
K03 0300  3    unbroken sheer bastard in his outfit, and someone invented
K03 0300 12    the name Trig for him. That's to say, he was trigger
K03 0310 11    happy. He'd shoot at anything if it was the rear end
K03 0320 10    of a horse or his own sentry. He was a wiry, inscrutable,
K03 0330  6    silent country boy from the red clay of rural Alabama,
K03 0340  3    and he spoke with the broad drawl that others normally
K03 0350  1    make fun of. But not in front of Trig. I heard of some
K03 0350 14    that tried it back in the States, and he'd knock them
K03 0360 10    clear across the room. There'd been a pretty bad incident
K03 0370  7    back at the Marine base. A New York kid, a refugee
K03 0380  5    from one of the Harlem gangs, made fun of Trig's accent,
K03 0390  2    and drew a knife. Before the fight was over, the Harlem
K03 0400  1    boy had a concussion and Trig was cut up badly. They
K03 0400 12    caught Trig stealing liquor from the officers' mess,
K03 0410  7    and he got a couple of girls in trouble. The fear of
K03 0420  6    punishment just didn't bother him. It wasn't there.
K03 0430  2    It was left out of him at birth. This is why he made
K03 0430 15    such a magnificent soldier. He wasn't troubled with
K03 0440  8    the ordinary, rank-and-file fear that overcomes and
K03 0450  5    paralyzes and sends individual soldiers and whole companies
K03 0460  4    under fire running in panic. It just didn't occur to
K03 0470  3    Trig that anything serious would happen to him. Do
K03 0470 12    you get the picture of the kind of fellow he was"?
K03 0480 10       Jane nodded with a pleasant smile.
K03 0490  5       "All right. There was a sniper's nest in a mountain
K03 0500  4    cave, and it was picking off our men with devilish
K03 0500 14    accuracy. The Colonel ordered that it be wiped out,
K03 0510  9    and I suggested, 'You ask for volunteers, and promise
K03 0520  7    each man on the patrol a quart of whisky, ten dollars
K03 0530  5    and a week-end pass to Davao'. Trig was one of the
K03 0540  4    five volunteers. The patrol snaked around in back of
K03 0540 13    the cave, approached it from above and dropped in suddenly
K03 0550  9    with wild howls. You could hear them from our outpost.
K03 0560  8    There was a lot of shooting. We knew the enemy was
K03 0570  6    subdued, because a flare was fired as the signal. So
K03 0580  2    we hurried over. Two of our men were killed, a third
K03 0580 13    was wounded. Trig and a very black colored boy from
K03 0590  9    Detroit had killed or put out of action ten guerrillas
K03 0600  6    by grenades and hand-to-hand fighting. When we got
K03 0610  3    there, Trig and the Negro were quarreling over possession
K03 0620  1    of a gold crucifix around the neck of a wounded Filipino.
K03 0620 12    The colored boy had it, and Trig lunged at him with
K03 0630 10    a knife and said, 'Give that to me, you black bastard.
K03 0640  7    We don't 'low nigras to walk on the same sidewalk with
K03 0650  5    white men where I come from'.
K03 0650 11       "The Negro got a bad slice on his chest from the
K03 0660 11    knife wound".
K03 0670  1       "What did the Colonel do about the men"? Jane asked
K03 0670 10    in her placid, interested way.
K03 0680  3       Mickie laughed. "He recommended both of them for
K03 0690  3    the ~DSM and the Detroit fellow for the Purple Heart,
K03 0700  1    too, for a combat-inflicted wound. So you see Mr& Christiansen
K03 0710  1    knows what it's all about. But not Jeff Lawrence. When
K03 0710 11    he was in the war, he was in Law or Supplies or something
K03 0720 11    like that, and an old buddy of his told me he would
K03 0730  9    come down on Sundays to the Pentagon and read the citations
K03 0740  5    for medals- just like the one we sent in for Trig-
K03 0750  1    and go away with a real glow. These were heroes nine
K03 0750 12    feet tall to him".
K03 0760  4    ##
K03 0760  5    Jefferson Lawrence was alone at the small, perfectly
K03 0770  1    appointed table by the window looking out over the
K03 0770 10    river. He had dinner and sat there over his coffee
K03 0780  9    watching the winding pattern of traffic as it crossed
K03 0790  6    the bridge and spread out like a serpent with two heads.
K03 0800  3    Open beside him was Mrs& Dalloway. He thought how this
K03 0810  2    dainty, fragile older woman threading her way through
K03 0810 10    the streets of Westminster on a day in June, enjoying
K03 0820  9    the flowers in the shops, the greetings from old friends,
K03 0830  6    but never really drawing a deep, passionate breath,
K03 0840  2    was so like himself. He, and Mrs& Dalloway, too, had
K03 0850  2    never permitted themselves the luxury of joys that
K03 0850 10    dug into the bone marrow of the spirit.
K03 0860  6       He had not because he was both poor and ambitious.
K03 0870  3    Poverty imposes a kind of chastity on the ambitious.
K03 0880  1    They cannot stop to grasp and embrace and sit in the
K03 0880 12    back seat of cars along a dark country lane. No, they
K03 0890  8    must look the other way and climb one more painful
K03 0900  4    step up the ladder. He made the decision with his eyes
K03 0910  2    open, or so he thought. At any cost, he must leave
K03 0910 13    the dreary Pennsylvania mining town where his father
K03 0920  6    was a pharmacist. And so he had, so he had. At State
K03 0930  7    College, he had no time to walk among the violets on
K03 0940  3    the water's edge. From his room he could look out in
K03 0940 14    springtime and see the couples hand in hand walking
K03 0950  9    slowly, deliciously, across the campus, and he could
K03 0960  7    smell the sweet vernal winds. He was not stone. He
K03 0970  4    was not unmoved. He had to teach himself patiently
K03 0970 13    that these traps were not for him. He must mentally
K03 0980 10    pull the blinds and close the window, so that all that
K03 0990  8    existed was in the books before him. At law school,
K03 1000  4    the same. More of this stamping down of human emotion
K03 1010  1    as a young lawyer in New York. By the time he was prosperous
K03 1010 14    enough- his goals were high- he was bald and afraid
K03 1020 12    of women. The only one who would have him was his cripple,
K03 1030  9    the strange unhappy woman who became his wife. Perhaps
K03 1040  6    it was right; perhaps it was just. He had dared to
K03 1050  4    defy nature, to turn his back to the Lorelei, and he
K03 1050 15    was punished. Like Mrs& Dalloway, with her regrets
K03 1060  8    about Peter Walsh, he had his moments of melancholy
K03 1070  7    over a youth too well spent. If he had had a son, he
K03 1080  7    would tell him, "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may **h
K03 1090  3    This same flower that smiles today tomorrow will be
K03 1090 12    dying". But then his son could afford it.
K03 1100  8       Lawrence was waiting for Bill Boxell. The Vice President
K03 1110  5    had called and asked if he could see the Secretary
K03 1120  3    at his home. He said the matter was urgent. The Secretary
K03 1130  1    was uneasy about the visit. He did not like Boxell.
K03 1130 11    He suspected something underhanded and furtive about
K03 1140  6    him. Lawrence could not put his finger on it precisely,
K03 1150  7    and this worried him. When you disliked or distrusted
K03 1160  3    a man, you should have a reason. Human nature was not
K03 1170  2    a piece of meat you could tell was bad by its smell.
K03 1170 14    Lawrence stared a minute at the lighted ribbon of traffic,
K03 1180  9    hoping that a clue to his dislike of the Vice President
K03 1190  6    would appear. It did not. Therefore, he decided he
K03 1200  4    was unfair to the young man and should make an effort
K03 1210  1    to understand and sympathize with his point of view.
K03 1210 10       A half hour later the Vice President arrived. He
K03 1220  8    looked very carefully at every piece of furnishing,
K03 1230  5    as though hoping to store this information carefully
K03 1240  2    in his mind. He observed the Florentine vase in the
K03 1240 12    hall, the Renoir painting in the library, as well as
K03 1250 10    the long shelves of well-bound volumes; the pattern
K03 1260  4    of the Oriental rug, the delicate cut-glass chandelier.
K03 1270  2       He said to the Secretary, "I understand you came
K03 1280  3    from a little Pennsylvania town near Wilkes-Barre.
K03 1280 11    How did you find out about this"? He waved his arm
K03 1290 10    around at the furnishings.
K03 1300  1       It was not a discourteous question, Lawrence decided.
K03 1310  1    This young man had so little time to learn he had to
K03 1310 13    be curious; he had to find out. The Secretary did not
K03 1320 10    tell him at what cost, at what loneliness, he learned
K03 1330  5    these things. He merely said, "Any good decorator these
K03 1340  3    days can make you a tasteful home".
K03 1340 10       The Vice President said, "If you hear of any names
K03 1350  9    that would fix me cheap in return for advertising they
K03 1360  6    decorated the Vice President's home, let me know. I
K03 1370  6    can do business with that kind".
K03 1370 12       Again, Lawrence thought a little sadly, these were
K03 1380  8    the fees of poverty and ambition. Boxell did not have
K03 1390  6    the chance to grow up graciously. He had to acquire
K03 1400  4    everything he was going to get in four years.
K03 1400 13       They had brandy in the library. Boxell looked at
K03 1410  9    Lawrence with a searching glance, the kind that a prosecuting
K03 1430  7    attorney would give a man on trial. What are your weaknesses?
K03 1440  5    Where will you break? How best to destroy your peace?
K03 1450  4       The Vice President said with a slight bluster, "There
K03 1460  3    isn't anyone who loves the President more than I do.
K03 1470  3    Old Chris is my ideal. At the same time, you have to
K03 1470 15    face facts and realize that a man who's been in the
K03 1480 10    Marine Corps all his life doesn't understand much about
K03 1490  6    politics. What does a monk know about sex"?
K03 1500  3       Lawrence listened with the practiced, deceptive
K03 1510  1    calm of the lawyer, but his face was in the shadow.
K03 1510 12       "So, we have to protect the old man for his own
K03 1520 11    good. You see what I mean. Congress is full of politicians,
K03 1530  6    and if you want to get along with them, you have to
K03 1540  5    be politic. This is why I say we just can't go ahead
K03 1550  1    and disarm the Germans and pull down our own defenses.
K03 1550 11    Let me tell you what happened to me today. A fellow
K03 1560  9    came up to me, a Senator, I don't have to tell you
K03 1570  7    his name, and he told me, 'I love the President like
K03 1580  3    a brother, but God damn it, he's crucifying me. I've
K03 1590  1    got a quarter of a million Germans in my state, and
K03 1590 12    those krautheads tune in on Father Werther every night,
K03 1600  8    and if he tells them to go out and piss in the public
K03 1610  8    square, that's what they do. He's telling them now
K03 1620  4    to write letters to their Congressmen opposing the
K03 1620 12    disarmament of Germany'. And another one comes to me
K03 1630  9    and he says, 'Look here, there's a mill in my state
K03 1640  8    employs five thousand people making uniforms for the
K03 1650  5    Navy.
K04 0010  1    The Bishop looked at him coldly and said "Take it or
K04 0010 12    leave it"!
K04 0020  1       Literally, there was nothing else to do. He was
K04 0020 10    caught in a machine. But Sojourner was not easily excited
K04 0030  9    or upset and said quite calmly: "Let's go and see what
K04 0040  7    it's like".
K04 0040  9       Annisberg was about seventy-five miles west of Birmingham,
K04 0050  9    near the Georgia border and on the Tallahoosa River,
K04 0060  7    a small and dirty stream. The city was a center of
K04 0070  6    manufacture, especially in textiles, and also because
K04 0080  2    of the beauty of some of its surroundings, a residence
K04 0080 12    for many owners of the great industries in north Alabama.
K04 0090  9    But it had, as was usual in southern cities of this
K04 0100  7    sort, a Black Bottom, a low region near the river where
K04 0110  5    the Negroes lived- servants and laborers huddled together
K04 0120  2    in a region with no sewage save the river, where streets
K04 0130  1    and sidewalks were neglected and where there was much
K04 0130 10    poverty and crime.
K04 0140  1       Wilson came by train from Birmingham and looked
K04 0140  9    the city over; the rather pleasant white city was on
K04 0150  9    the hill where the chief stores were. Beyond were industries
K04 0160  6    and factories. Then they went down to Black Bottom.
K04 0170  4    In the midst of this crowded region was the Allen African
K04 0180  2    Methodist Episcopal Church. It was an old and dirty
K04 0190  1    wooden structure, sadly in need of repair. But it was
K04 0190 11    a landmark. It had been there 50 years or more and
K04 0200  9    everybody in town, black and white, knew of it. It
K04 0210  5    had just suffered a calamity, the final crisis in a
K04 0220  1    long series of calamities. For the old preacher who
K04 0220 10    had been there twenty-five years was dead, and the
K04 0230  6    city mourned him.
K04 0230  9       He was a loud-voiced man, once vigorous but for
K04 0240  8    many years now declining in strength and ability. He
K04 0250  4    was stern and overbearing with his flock, but obsequious
K04 0260  1    and conciliatory with the whites, especially the rich
K04 0260  9    who partly supported the church. The Deacon Board,
K04 0270  7    headed by a black man named Carlson, had practically
K04 0280  5    taken over as the pastor grew old, and had its way
K04 0290  4    with the support of the Amen corner. The characteristic
K04 0300  1    thing about this church was its Amen corner and the
K04 0300 11    weekly religious orgy. A knot of old worshippers, chiefly
K04 0310  8    women, listened weekly to a sermon. It began invariably
K04 0320  5    in low tones, almost conversational, and then gradually
K04 0330  3    worked up to high, shrill appeals to God and man. And
K04 0340  1    then the Amen corner took hold, re-enacting a form
K04 0340 11    of group participation in worship that stemmed from
K04 0350  6    years before the Greek chorus, spreading down through
K04 0360  3    the African forest, overseas to the West Indies, and
K04 0370  2    then here in Alabama. With shout and slow dance, with
K04 0370 12    tears and song, with scream and contortion, the corner
K04 0380  8    group was beset by hysteria and shivering, wailing,
K04 0390  4    shouting, possession of something that seemed like
K04 0400  2    an alien and outside force. It spread to most of the
K04 0400 13    audience and was often viewed by visiting whites who
K04 0410  9    snickered behind handkerchief and afterward discussed
K04 0420  4    Negro religion. It sometimes ended in death-like trances
K04 0430  4    with many lying exhausted and panting on chair and
K04 0440  1    floor. To most of those who composed the Amen corner
K04 0440 11    it was a magnificent and beautiful experience, something
K04 0450  5    for which they lived from week to week. It was often
K04 0460  6    re-enacted in less wild form at the Wednesday night
K04 0470  2    prayer meeting.
K04 0470  4       Wilson, on his first Sunday, witnessed this with
K04 0480  3    something like disgust. He had preached a short sermon,
K04 0490  1    trying to talk man-to-man to the audience, to tell
K04 0490 12    them who he was, what he had done in Macon and Birmingham,
K04 0500  8    and what he proposed to do here. He sympathized with
K04 0510  4    them on the loss of their old pastor. But then, at
K04 0520  2    mention of that name, the Amen corner broke loose.
K04 0520 11    He had no chance to say another word. At the very end,
K04 0530 10    when the audience was silent and breathless, a collection
K04 0540  5    was taken and then slowly everyone filed out. The audience
K04 0550  5    did not think much of the new pastor, and what the
K04 0560  2    new pastor thought of the audience he did not dare
K04 0560 12    at the time to say.
K04 0570  2       During the next weeks he looked over the situation.
K04 0570 11    First of all there was the parsonage, an utterly impossible
K04 0580 10    place for civilized people to live in, originally poorly
K04 0590  7    conceived, apparently not repaired for years, with
K04 0600  5    no plumbing or sewage, with rat-holes and rot. It was
K04 0610  3    arranged that he would board in the home of one of
K04 0610 14    the old members of the church, a woman named Catt who,
K04 0620 10    as Wilson afterward found, was briefly referred to
K04 0630  5    as The Cat because of her sharp tongue and fierce initiative.
K04 0640  4       Ann Catt was a lonely, devoted soul, never married,
K04 0650  3    conducting a spotless home and devoted to her church,
K04 0650 12    but a perpetual dissenter and born critic. She soared
K04 0660  9    over the new pastor like an avenging angel lest he
K04 0670  7    stray from the path and not know all the truth and
K04 0680  4    gossip of which she was chief repository.
K04 0680 11       Then Wilson looked over the church and studied its
K04 0690  9    condition. The salary of the pastor had for years been
K04 0700  8    $500 annually and even this was in arrears. Wilson
K04 0710  2    made up his mind that he must receive at least $2,500,
K04 0720  1    but when he mentioned this to the Deacons they said
K04 0720 11    nothing. The church itself must be repaired. It was
K04 0730  7    dirty and neglected. It really ought to be rebuilt,
K04 0740  5    and he determined to go up and talk to the city banks
K04 0750  1    about this. Meanwhile, the city itself should be talked
K04 0750 10    to. The streets in the colored section were dirty.
K04 0760  8    There was typhoid and malaria. The children had nowhere
K04 0770  5    to go and no place to play, not even sidewalks. The
K04 0780  2    school was small, dark and ill-equipped. The teacher
K04 0780 11    was a pliant fool. There were two liquor saloons not
K04 0790 10    very far from the church, one white, that is conducted
K04 0800  7    for white people with a side entrance for Negroes;
K04 0810  3    the other exclusively Negro. Undoubtedly, there was
K04 0820  2    a good deal of gambling in both.
K04 0820  9       On the other side of the church was a quiet, well-kept
K04 0830  6    house with shutters and recently painted. Wilson inquired
K04 0840  2    about it. It was called Kent House. The deacon of the
K04 0850  1    church, Carlson, was its janitor. One of the leading
K04 0850 10    members of the Amen corner was cook; there were two
K04 0860  8    or three colored maids employed there. Wilson was told
K04 0870  5    that it was a sort of hotel for white people, which
K04 0880  2    seemed to him rather queer. Why should a white hotel
K04 0880 12    be set down in the center of Black Bottom? But nevertheless
K04 0890 10    it looked respectable. He was glad to have it there.
K04 0900  8       The rest of Black Bottom was a rabbit warren of
K04 0910  7    homes in every condition of neglect, disrepair and
K04 0920  2    careful upkeep. Dives, carefully repaired huts, and
K04 0920  9    nicely painted and ornamented cottages were jumbled
K04 0930  7    together cheek by jowl with little distinction. The
K04 0940  5    best could not escape from the worst and the worst
K04 0950  3    nestled cosily beside the better. The yards, front
K04 0950 11    and back, were narrow; some were trash dumps, some
K04 0960  8    had flower gardens. Behind were privies, for there
K04 0970  5    was no sewage system.
K04 0970  9       After looking about a bit, Wilson discovered beyond
K04 0980  7    Black Bottom, across the river and far removed from
K04 0990  5    the white city, a considerable tract of land, and it
K04 1000  3    occurred to him that the church and the better Negro
K04 1000 13    homes might gradually be moved to this plot. He talked
K04 1010  9    about it to the Presiding Elder. The Presiding Elder
K04 1020  5    looked him over rather carefully. He was not sure what
K04 1030  6    kind of a man he had in hand. But there was one thing
K04 1040  2    that he had to stress, and that was that the contribution
K04 1040 13    to the general church expenses, the dollar money, had
K04 1050  8    been seriously falling behind in this church, and that
K04 1060  7    must be looked after immediately. In fact, he intimated
K04 1070  4    clearly that that was the reason that Wilson had been
K04 1080  2    sent here- to make a larger contribution of dollar
K04 1080 11    money.
K04 1090  1       Wilson stressed the fact that clear as this was,
K04 1090 10    they must have a better church, a more business-like
K04 1100  7    conduct of the church organization, and an effort to
K04 1110  5    get this religious center out of its rut of wild worship
K04 1120  1    into a modern church organization. He emphasized to
K04 1120  9    the Presiding Elder the plan of giving up the old church
K04 1130 10    and moving across the river. The Presiding Elder was
K04 1140  6    sure that that would be impossible. But he told Wilson
K04 1150  5    to "go ahead and try". And Wilson tried.
K04 1160  1       It did seem impossible. The bank which held the
K04 1160 10    mortgage on the old church declared that the interest
K04 1170  7    was considerably in arrears, and the real estate people
K04 1180  5    said flatly that the land across the river was being
K04 1190  2    held for an eventual development for white working
K04 1190 10    people who were coming in, and that none would be sold
K04 1200 10    to colored folk. When it was proposed to rebuild the
K04 1210  6    church, Wilson found that the terms for a new mortgage
K04 1220  4    were very high. He was sure that he could do better
K04 1220 15    if he went to Atlanta to get the deal financed.
K04 1230 10       But when this proposal was made to his Deacon Board,
K04 1240  7    he met unanimous opposition. The church certainly would
K04 1250  4    not be removed. The very proposition was sacrilege.
K04 1260  1    It had been here fifty years. It was going to stay
K04 1260 12    forever. It was hardly possible to get any argument
K04 1270  9    on the subject. As for rebuilding, well, that might
K04 1280  5    be looked into, but there was no hurry, no hurry at
K04 1290  3    all.
K04 1290  4       Wilson again went downtown to a different banker,
K04 1300  1    an intelligent young white man who seemed rather sympathetic,
K04 1300 10    but he shook his head.
K04 1310  5       "Reverend", he said, "I think you don't quite understand
K04 1320  3    the situation here. Don't you see the amount of money
K04 1330  3    that has been invested by whites around that church?
K04 1330 12    Tenements, stores, saloons, some gambling, I hope not
K04 1340  8    too much. The colored people are getting employment
K04 1350  5    at Kent House and other places, and they are near their
K04 1360  5    places of employment. When a city has arranged things
K04 1370  2    like this you cannot easily change them. Now, if I
K04 1370 12    were you I would just plan to repair the old church
K04 1380  9    so it would last for five or ten years. By that time,
K04 1390  6    perhaps something better can be done".
K04 1400  1       Then Wilson asked, "What about this Kent House which
K04 1400 10    you mention? I don't understand why a white hotel should
K04 1410 10    be down here".
K04 1420  1       The young banker looked at him with a certain surprise,
K04 1420 11    and then he said flatly: "I'm afraid I can't tell you
K04 1430 11    anything in particular about Kent House. You'll have
K04 1440  8    to find out about it on your own. Hope to see you again".
K04 1450  9    And he dismissed the colored pastor.
K04 1460  2       It was next day that Sojourner came and sat beside
K04 1470  1    him and took his hand. She said, "My dear, do you know
K04 1470 13    what Kent House is"?
K04 1480  3       "No", said Wilson, "I don't. I was just asking about
K04 1490  4    it. What is it"?
K04 1490  8       "It's a house of prostitution for white men with
K04 1500  5    white girls as inmates. They hire a good deal of local
K04 1510  6    labor, including two members of our Trustee Board.
K04 1520  1    They buy some supplies from our colored grocers and
K04 1520 10    they are patronized by some of the best white gentlemen
K04 1530  8    in town".
K04 1530 10       Wilson stared at her. "My dear, you must be mistaken".
K04 1540  9       "Talk to Mrs& Catt", she said.
K04 1550  5       And after Wilson had talked to Mrs& Catt and to
K04 1560  4    others, he was absolutely amazed. This, of course,
K04 1560 12    was the sort of thing that used to take place in Southern
K04 1570 12    cities- putting white houses of prostitution with colored
K04 1580  7    girls in colored neighborhoods and carrying them on
K04 1590  5    openly. But it had largely disappeared on account of
K04 1600  3    protest by the whites and through growing resentment
K04 1600 11    on the part of the Negroes as they became more educated
K04 1610 10    and got better wages.
K04 1620  1       But this situation of Kent House was more subtle.
K04 1620 10    The wages involved were larger and more regular. The
K04 1630  8    inmates were white and from out of town, avoiding local
K04 1640  7    friction. The backing from the white town was greater
K04 1650  4    and there was little publicity. Good wages, patronage
K04 1660  1    and subscription of various kinds stopped open protest
K04 1660  9    from Negroes. And yet Wilson knew that this place must
K04 1670  9    go or he must go. And for him to leave this job now
K04 1680  8    without accomplishing anything would mean practically
K04 1690  2    the end of his career in the Methodist church, if not
K04 1700  1    in all churches.
K05 0010  1    Payne dismounted in Madison Place and handed the reins
K05 0010 10    to Herold. There was a fog, which increased the darkness
K05 0020  9    of the night. Two gas lamps were no more than a misleading
K05 0030  8    glow. He might have been anywhere or nowhere.
K05 0040  3       The pretence was that he was delivering a prescription
K05 0050  1    from Dr& Verdi. Secretary of State Seward was a sick
K05 0050 11    man. The idea had come from Herold, who had once been
K05 0060 11    a chemist's clerk. The sick were always receiving medicines.
K05 0070  7    No one would question such an errand. The bottle was
K05 0080  7    filled up with flour.
K05 0080 11       Before Payne loomed the Old Clubhouse, Seward's
K05 0090  6    home, where Key had once been killed. Now it would
K05 0100  6    have another death. From the outside it was an ordinary
K05 0110  4    enough house of the gentry. He clomped heavily up the
K05 0120  1    stoop and rang the bell. Like the bell at Mass, the
K05 0120 12    doorbell was pitched too high. It was still Good Friday,
K05 0130  8    after all.
K05 0130 10       A nigger boy opened the door. Payne did not notice
K05 0140  9    him. He was thinking chiefly of Cap. If their schedules
K05 0150  6    were to synchronize, there was no point in wasting
K05 0160  3    time. He pushed his way inside.
K05 0160  9       For a moment the hall confused him. This was the
K05 0170  8    largest house he had ever been in, almost the largest
K05 0180  4    building, except for a hotel. He had no idea where
K05 0190  1    Seward's room would be. In the half darkness the banisters
K05 0190 11    gleamed, and the hall seemed enormous. Above him somewhere
K05 0200  9    were the bedrooms. Seward would be up there.
K05 0210  6       He explained his errand, but without bothering much
K05 0220  3    to make it plausible, for he felt something well up
K05 0230  2    in him which was the reason why he had fled the army.
K05 0230 14    He did not really want to kill, but as in the sexual
K05 0240 10    act, there was a moment when the impulse took over
K05 0250  5    and could not be downed, even while you watched yourself
K05 0260  2    giving way to it. He was no longer worried. Everything
K05 0260 12    would be all right. He knew that in this mood he could
K05 0270 12    not be stopped.
K05 0280  1       Still, the sensation always surprised him. It was
K05 0280  9    a thrill he felt no part in. He could only watch with
K05 0290 10    a sort of gentle dismay while his body did these quick,
K05 0300  6    appalling, and efficient things.
K05 0310  1       He brushed by the idiotic boy and lumbered heavily
K05 0310  9    up the stairs. They were carpeted, but made for pumps
K05 0320  7    and congress gaiters, not the great clodhoppers he
K05 0330  3    wore. The sound of his footsteps was like a muffled
K05 0340  1    drum.
K05 0340  2       At the top of the stairs he ran into somebody standing
K05 0340 13    there angrily in a dressing gown. He stopped and whispered
K05 0350 10    his errand. Young Frederick Seward held out his hand.
K05 0360  8    Panting a little, Payne shook his head. Dr& Verdi had
K05 0370  7    told him to deliver his package in person.
K05 0380  2       Frederick Seward said his father was sleeping, and
K05 0380 10    then went through a pantomime at his father's door,
K05 0390  9    to prove the statement.
K05 0400  1       "Very well", Payne said. "I will go". He smiled,
K05 0410  1    but now that he knew where the elder Seward was, he
K05 0410 12    did not intend to go. He pulled out his pistol and
K05 0420  9    fired it. It made no sound. It had misfired. Reversing
K05 0430  4    it, he smashed the butt down on Frederick Seward's
K05 0440  2    head, over and over again.
K05 0440  7       It was the first blow that was always difficult.
K05 0450  5    After that, violence was exultantly easy. He got caught
K05 0460  4    up into it and became a different person. Only afterwards
K05 0470  1    did an act like that become meaningless, so that he
K05 0470 11    would puzzle over it for days, whereas at the time
K05 0480  8    it had seemed quite real.
K05 0490  1       The nigger boy fled down the stairs, screaming,
K05 0490  9    "Murder".
K05 0500  1       It was not murder at all. Payne was more methodical
K05 0500 10    than that. He was merely clearing a way to what he
K05 0510  9    had to do.
K05 0510 12       He ran for the sick room, found his pistol was broken,
K05 0520  8    and threw it away. A knife would do. From childhood
K05 0530  4    he had known all about knives. Someone blocked the
K05 0540  2    door from inside. He smashed it in and tumbled into
K05 0540 12    darkness. He saw only dimly moving figures, but when
K05 0550  9    he slashed them they yelled and fled. He went for the
K05 0560  7    bed, jumped on it, and struck where he could, repeatedly.
K05 0570  2    It was like finally getting into one's own nightmares
K05 0580  1    to punish one's dreams.
K05 0580  5       Two men pulled him off. Nobody said anything. Payne
K05 0590  4    hacked at their arms. There was a lady there, in a
K05 0600  2    nightdress. He would not have wanted to hurt a lady.
K05 0600 12    Another man approached, this one fully dressed. When
K05 0610  7    the knife went into his chest, he went down at once.
K05 0620  6       "I'm mad", shouted Payne, as he ran out into the
K05 0630  6    hall. "I'm mad", and only wished he had been. That
K05 0640  2    would have made things so much easier. But he was not
K05 0640 13    mad. He was only dreaming.
K05 0650  4       He clattered down the stairs and out of the door.
K05 0660  3    Somewhere in the fog, the nigger boy was still yelling
K05 0660 13    murder. One always wakes up, even from one's own dreams.
K05 0670 10    The clammy air revived him. Herold, he saw, had fled.
K05 0680  8       Well, one did not expect much of people like Herold.
K05 0690  6       He unhitched his horse, walked it away, mounted,
K05 0700  4    and spurred it on. The nigger boy was close behind
K05 0710  2    him. Then the nigger boy turned back and he was alone.
K05 0710 13    He rode on and on. He had no idea where he was. After
K05 0720 12    some time he came to an open field. An open field was
K05 0730  8    better than a building, that was for sure, so he dismounted,
K05 0740  5    turned off the horse, and plunged through the grass.
K05 0750  2       He felt curiously sleepy, the world seemed far away;
K05 0760  1    he knew he should get to Cap, but he didn't know how.
K05 0760 13    He was sure, for he had done as he was told, hadn't
K05 0770 10    he? Cap would find him and take care of him. So choosing
K05 0780  8    a good tree, he clambered up into it, found a comfortable
K05 0790  4    notch, and curled up in it to sleep, like the tousled
K05 0800  1    bear he was, with his hands across his chest, as though
K05 0800 12    surfeited with honey.
K05 0810  3       Violence always made him tired, but he was not frightened.
K05 0820  2    ##
K05 0820  3    In Boston, Edwin Booth was winding up a performance
K05 0830  1    of A New Way to Pay Old Debts. It was a part so familiar
K05 0840  1    to him that he did not bother to think about it any
K05 0840 13    more. Acting soothed him. On a stage he always knew
K05 0850  8    what to do, and tonight, to judge by the applause,
K05 0860  4    he must be doing it better than usual.
K05 0860 12       As Sir Giles Overreach (how often had he had to
K05 0870 10    play that part, who did not believe a word of it),
K05 0880  7    he raised his arm and declaimed: "Where is my honour
K05 0890  4    now"?
K05 0890  5       That was one of the high spots of the play. The
K05 0900  3    audience, as usual, loved it. He was delighted to see
K05 0900 13    them so happy. If he had any worries, it was only the
K05 0910 12    small ones, about Mother in New York, and his daughter
K05 0920  8    Edwina and what she might be doing at this hour, with
K05 0930  6    her Aunt Asia, in Philadelphia.
K05 0940  1       Everyone is ambivalent about his profession, if
K05 0940  7    he has practised it long enough, but there were still
K05 0950  6    moments when he loved the stage and all those unseen
K05 0960  3    people out there, who might cheer you or boo you, but
K05 0960 14    that was largely, though not entirely, up to you.
K05 0970  9       They made the world seem friendly somehow, though
K05 0980  6    he knew it was not.
K05 0980 11    #/7,#
K05 0980 12    Wilkes was quite right about one thing. Laura Keene
K05 0990  9    had been in the green room. The commotion had brought
K05 1000  7    her into the wings. Since she could not act, one part
K05 1010  6    suited her as well as any other, and so she was the
K05 1020  2    first person to offer Mr& Lincoln a glass of water,
K05 1020 12    holding it up to the box, high above her head, to Miss
K05 1040 11    Harris, who had asked for it.
K05 1050  2       She had been one of the first to collect her wits.
K05 1060  1       It was not so much that the shot had stunned the
K05 1060 12    audience, as that they had been stunned already. Most
K05 1070  7    of them had seen Our American Cousin before, and unless
K05 1080  5    Miss Keene was on stage, there was not much to it.
K05 1090  4    The theatre was hot and they were drugged with boredom.
K05 1100  1       The stage had been empty, except for Harry Hawk,
K05 1100 10    doing his star monologue. The audience was fond of
K05 1110  7    Harry Hawk, he was a dear, in or out of character,
K05 1120  6    but he was not particularly funny. At the end of the
K05 1130  3    monologue the audience would applaud. Meanwhile it
K05 1130 10    looked at the scenery.
K05 1140  3       "Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside
K05 1150  1    out, you sockdologizing old mantrap"! said Trenchard,
K05 1150  8    otherwise Hawk. There was always a pause here, before
K05 1160  9    the next line.
K05 1170  1       That was when the gun went off. Yet even that explosion
K05 1170 12    did not mean much. Guns were going off all over Washington
K05 1180  9    City these days, because of the celebrations, and the
K05 1190  6    theatre was not soundproof.
K05 1200  1       Then the audience saw a small, dim figure appear
K05 1200  9    at the edge of the Presidential box. "Sic semper tyrannis",
K05 1210  5    it said mildly. Booth had delivered his line. Behind
K05 1220  6    him billowed a small pungent cloud of smoke.
K05 1230  3       They strained forward. They had not heard what had
K05 1240  1    been said. They had been sitting too long to be able
K05 1240 12    to stand up easily. The figure leapt from the box,
K05 1250  7    almost lost its balance, the flag draped there tore
K05 1260  4    in the air, the figure landed on its left leg, fell
K05 1270  1    on its hands, and pressed itself up.
K05 1270  8       Harry Hawk still had his arm raised towards the
K05 1280  5    wings. His speech faltered. He did not lower his arm.
K05 1290  3       The figure was so theatrically dressed, that it
K05 1290 11    was as though a character from some other play had
K05 1300  8    blundered into this one. The play for Saturday night
K05 1310  5    was to be a benefit performance of The Octoroon. This
K05 1320  2    figure looked like the slave dealer from that. But
K05 1320 11    it also looked like a toad, hopping away from the light.
K05 1330 11    There was something maimed and crazy about its motion
K05 1340  7    that disturbed them.
K05 1340 10       Then it disappeared into the wings.
K05 1350  6       Harry Hawk had not shifted position, but he at last
K05 1360  6    lowered his arm.
K05 1360  9       Mrs& Lincoln screamed. There was no mistaking that
K05 1380  6    scream. It was what anyone who had ever seen her had
K05 1390  4    always expected her to do. Yet this scream had a different
K05 1400  1    note in it. That absence of an urgent self-indulgence
K05 1400 11    dashed them awake like a pail of water.
K05 1410  7       Clara Harris, one of the guests in the box, stood
K05 1420  5    up and demanded water. Her action was involuntary.
K05 1430  1    When something unexpected happened, one always asked
K05 1430  8    for water if one were a woman, brandy if one were a
K05 1440 10    man.
K05 1440 11       Mrs& lincoln screamed again.
K05 1450  2       In the Presidential box someone leaned over the
K05 1460  1    balustrade and yelled: "He has shot the President"!
K05 1470  1       That got everybody up. On the stage, Harry Hawk
K05 1470  9    began to weep. Laura Keene brushed by him with the
K05 1480  6    glass of water. The crowd began to move. In Washington
K05 1490  3    City everyone lived in a bubble of plots, and one death
K05 1500  1    might attract another. It was not exactly panic they
K05 1500 10    gave way to, but they could not just sit there. The
K05 1510  9    beehive voices, for no one could bear silence, drowned
K05 1520  4    out the sound of Mrs& Lincoln's weeping.
K05 1530  1       At the rear of the auditorium, upstairs, some men
K05 1530 10    tried to push open the door to the box corridor. It
K05 1540 10    would not give.
K05 1540 13       A Dr& Charles Taft clambered up on the stage and
K05 1550 10    got the actors to hoist him up to the box. In the audience
K05 1560 10    a man named Ferguson lost his head and tried to rescue
K05 1570  7    a little girl from the mob, on the same principle which
K05 1580  2    had led Miss Harris to demand water.
K05 1580  9       Someone opened the corridor door from the inside,
K05 1590  8    and called for a doctor. Somehow Dr& Charles Leale
K05 1600  4    was forced through the mob and squeezed out into the
K05 1610  3    dingy corridor. He went straight to the Presidential
K05 1610 11    box.
K05 1620  1       As usual, Mrs& Lincoln had lost her head, but nobody
K05 1620 11    blamed her for doing so now. There was a little blood
K05 1630 11    on the hem of her dress, for the assassin had slashed
K05 1640  6    Miss Harris's companion, Major Rathbone, with a knife.
K05 1650  5    Rathbone said he was bleeding to death. By the look
K05 1660  3    of him he wasn't that far gone.
K06 0010  1    With a sneer, the man spread his legs and, a third
K06 0010 12    time, confronted them.
K06 0020  1       Once more, Katie reared, and whinnied in fear. For
K06 0020 10    a moment, boy and mount hung in midair. Stevie twisted
K06 0030  9    and, frantically, commanded the mare to leap straight
K06 0040  7    ahead. But the stranger was nimbler still. With a bold
K06 0050  5    arm, he dared once more to obstruct them. Katie reared
K06 0060  2    a third time, then, trembling, descended.
K06 0060  8       The stranger leered. Seizing the bridle, he tugged
K06 0070  7    with all his might and forced Katie to her knees. It
K06 0080  6    was absurd. Stevie could feel himself toppling. He
K06 0090  2    saw the ground coming up- and the stranger's head.
K06 0090 11    With incredible ferocity, he brought his fists together
K06 0100  8    and struck. The blow encountered silky hair and hard
K06 0110  6    bone. The man uttered a weird cry, spun about, and
K06 0120  4    collapsed in the sand.
K06 0120  8       Katie scrambled to her feet, Stevie agilely retaining
K06 0130  5    his seat. Again Katie reared, and now, wickedly, he
K06 0140  3    compelled her to bring her hooves down again and again
K06 0150  1    upon the sprawled figure of the stranger. He could
K06 0150 10    feel his own feet, iron-shod, striking repeatedly until
K06 0160  6    the body was limp. He gloated, and his lips slavered.
K06 0170  5    He heard himself chortling.
K06 0170  9       They rode around and around to trample the figure
K06 0180  8    into the sand. Only the top of the head, with a spot
K06 0190  7    bare and white as a clamshell, remained visible. Stevie
K06 0200  2    was shouting triumphantly.
K06 0200  5       A train hooted. Instantly, he chilled. They were
K06 0210  5    pursuing him. He was frightened; his fists clutched
K06 0220  2    so tightly that his knuckles hurt. Then Katie stumbled,
K06 0230  1    and again he was falling, falling!
K06 0230  7       "Stevie! Stevie"!
K06 0240  1       His mother was nudging him, but he was still falling.
K06 0240 11    His head hung over the boards of Katie's stall; before
K06 0250  8    it was sprawled the mangled corpse of the bearded stranger.
K06 0260  7       "Stevie, wake up now! We're nearly there".
K06 0270  4       He had been dreaming. He was safe in his Mama's
K06 0280  4    arms.
K06 0280  5       The train had slowed. Houses winked as the cars
K06 0290  4    rolled beside a little depot. "Po' Chavis"! the trainman
K06 0300  1    called. He came by and repeated, "Po' Chavis"!
K06 0300  9    #CHAPTER 6#
K06 0310  2    Bong! Bong! startled him awake. The room vibrated as
K06 0320  1    if a giant hand had rocked it. Bong! a dull boom and
K06 0320 13    a throbbing echo. The walls bulged, the floor trembled,
K06 0330  8    the windowpanes rattled. He stared at the far morning,
K06 0340  7    expecting a pendulum to swing across the horizon. Bong!
K06 0350  3    He raced to the window and yanked at the sash. Bong!
K06 0360  2    the wood was old, the paint alligatored. Bong! A fresh
K06 0370  2    breeze saluted him. Six o'clock!
K06 0370  7       He put his his head out. There was the slate roof
K06 0380  8    of the church; ivy climbed the red brick walls like
K06 0390  5    a green-scaled monster. The clock which had struck
K06 0400  1    presented an innocent face.
K06 0400  5       In the kitchen Mama was wiping the cupboards.
K06 0410  3       "There's a tower and a steeple on the church a million
K06 0420  3    feet high. And the loudest clock in the whole world"!
K06 0430  1       "I know, Stephen", she smiled. "They say that our
K06 0440  1    steeple is one hundred and sixty-two feet high. The
K06 0440 11    clock you heard strike- it's really the town clock-
K06 0450  8    was installed last April by Mrs& Shorter, on her birthday".
K06 0460  6       He dressed, and sped outdoors. He crossed Broome
K06 0470  4    Street to Orange Square. The steeple leaned backward,
K06 0480  2    while the church advanced like a headless creature
K06 0480 10    in a long, shapeless coat. The spire seemed to hold
K06 0490  9    up the sky.
K06 0490 12       Port Jervis, basking in the foothills, was the city
K06 0500  9    of God. The Dutch Reformed Church, with two steeples
K06 0510  6    and its own school was on Main Street; the Episcopal
K06 0520  4    Church was one block down Sussex Street; the Catholic
K06 0530  3    Saint Mary's Church, with an even taller steeple and
K06 0540  2    a cross on top, stood on Ball Street. The Catholics
K06 0540 12    had the largest cemetery, near the Neversink River
K06 0550  7    where Main Street ran south; Stevie whistled when he
K06 0560  5    passed these alien grounds.
K06 0560  9       God was everywhere, in the belfry, in the steeple,
K06 0570  9    in the clouds, in the trees, and in the mountains hulking
K06 0580  7    on the horizon. Somewhere, beyond, where shadows lurked,
K06 0590  4    must be the yawning pit of which Papa preached and
K06 0600  2    the dreadful Lake of Fire.
K06 0600  7       So, walking in awe, he became familiar with God,
K06 0610  4    who resided chiefly in Drew Centennial Church with
K06 0620  2    its high steeple and clock. There was no church like
K06 0620 12    Drew Church, no preacher like Papa, who was intimate
K06 0630  8    with Him, and could consign sinners to hellfire. To
K06 0640  5    know God he must follow in Papa's footsteps. He was
K06 0650  4    fortunate, and proud.
K06 0650  7       The veterans, idling on their benches in the Square,
K06 0660  7    beneath the soldiers' monument, got to their feet when
K06 0670  4    Papa approached: "Morning, Reverend"! His being and
K06 0680  3    His will- Stevie could not divide God from his Papa-
K06 0690  3    illumined every parish face, turned the choir into
K06 0690 11    a band of angels, and the pulpit into the tollgate
K06 0700  7    to Heaven.
K06 0700  9       "We have nine hundred and eleven members in our
K06 0710  7    charge", Mama announced, "and three hundred and eighty
K06 0720  4    Sunday-school scholars".
K06 0720  7       When Papa went out to do God's work, Stevie often
K06 0730  9    accompanied him in the buggy, which was drawn by Violet,
K06 0740  6    the new black mare. Although they journeyed westerly
K06 0750  2    as far as Germantown, beyond the Erie roundhouse and
K06 0760  1    the machine shop, and along the Delaware and Hudson
K06 0760 10    Canal, and northward to Brooklyn, below Point Peter,
K06 0770  6    he could see the church spire wherever he looked back.
K06 0780  5    Sometimes they went south and rolled past the tollhouse-
K06 0790  3    "Afternoon, Reverend"!- and crossed the suspension
K06 0800  1    bridge to Matamoras; that was Pennsylvania.
K06 0800  7       In the Delaware River, three long islands were overgrown
K06 0810  8    with greening trees and underbrush. South of Laurel
K06 0820  6    Grove Cemetery, and below the junction of the Neversink
K06 0830  5    and the Delaware, was the Tri-State Rock, from which
K06 0840  3    Stevie could spy New Jersey and Pennsylvania, as well
K06 0850  1    as New York, simply by spinning around on his heel.
K06 0850 11       On these excursions, Papa instructed him on man's
K06 0860  7    chief end, which was his duty to God and his own salvation.
K06 0870  8    However, a boy's lively eyes might rove. Where Cuddleback
K06 0880  4    Brook purled into the Neversink was a magnificent swimming
K06 0890  2    hole. Papa pointed a scornful finger at the splashing
K06 0900  1    youth: "Idle recreation"! Stevie saw no idols; it troubled
K06 0910  1    him that he couldn't always see what Papa saw. He was
K06 0910 12    torn between the excitement in the sun-inflamed waters
K06 0920  8    and a little engine chugging northward on the Monticello
K06 0930  5    Branch.
K06 0930  6       "Where you been today"? Ludie inquired every evening,
K06 0940  6    pretending that he did not care. "He'll make a preacher
K06 0950  6    out of you"!
K06 0950  9       "No, he won't"! Stevie flared. "Not me"!
K06 0960  6       "Somebody's got to be a preacher in the family.
K06 0970  9    He made a will and last testament before we left Paterson.
K06 0980  5    I heard them! Uncle and Aunt Howe were the witnesses".
K06 0990  3       "Will he die"?
K06 0990  6       "Everybody does".
K06 1000  2       Ludie could be hateful. To speak of Papa dying was
K06 1010  1    a sin. It could never happen as long as God was alert
K06 1010 13    and the Drew steeple stood guard with its peaked lance.
K06 1020  8       Stevie was constantly slipping into the church.
K06 1030  5    He pulled with all his strength at the heavy, brass-bound
K06 1040  4    door, and shuffled along the wainscoted wall. The cold,
K06 1050  2    mysterious presence of God was all around him. At the
K06 1050 12    end of a shaft of light, the pews appeared to be broad
K06 1060 10    stairs in a long dungeon. Far away, standing before
K06 1070  5    a curtained window in the study room, was his father,
K06 1080  3    hands tucked under his coattails, and staring into
K06 1080 11    the dark church. The figure was wreathed in an extraordinary
K06 1090  9    luminescence.
K06 1100  1       The boy shuddered at the deathly pale countenance
K06 1100  9    with its wrinkles and gray hair. Would Papa really
K06 1110  7    die? The mouth was thin-lipped and wide, the long cleft
K06 1120  6    in the upper lip like a slide. When Papa's slender
K06 1130  2    fingers removed the spectacles, there were red indentations
K06 1140  1    on the bridge of the strong nose.
K06 1140  8       "It's time you began to think on God, Stephen. Perhaps
K06 1150  7    one day He will choose you as He chose me, long ago.
K06 1160  6    Therefore, give Him your affection and store up His
K06 1170  3    love for you. Open your heart to Him and pray, Stephen,
K06 1170 14    pray! For His mercy and His guidance to spare you from
K06 1180 11    evil and eternal punishment in the Lake of Fire".
K06 1190  7       Stevie had heard these words many times, yet on
K06 1200  6    each occasion they caused him to tremble. For he feared
K06 1210  4    the Lake of Fire. He strove to think of God and His
K06 1220  1    eternal wrath; he must pray to be spared.
K06 1220  9       Papa was disappointed that none of the brothers
K06 1230  6    had heard the Call. Not George, Townley, or Ted, certainly
K06 1240  4    not Ludie. Burt was at Hackettstown and Will at Albany
K06 1250  4    Law School, where they surely could not hear it. Someday
K06 1260  1    God would choose him. He would hear the Call and would
K06 1260 12    run to tell Papa. The stern face would relax, the black-clad
K06 1270 12    arms would embrace him, "My son"! Yet how might he
K06 1280  9    know the Call when it came? Probably, as in Scriptures,
K06 1290  7    a still, small voice would whisper. It would summon
K06 1300  4    him once; if he missed it, never again. What if it
K06 1310  3    came when he was playing, or was asleep and dreaming?
K06 1320  1       He must not fail to hear it. He was Papa's chosen;
K06 1320 12    therefore, nothing but good could happen to him, even
K06 1330  9    in God's wrathful storms. When the skies grew dark
K06 1340  6    and thunder rolled across the valley, he was unafraid.
K06 1350  3    Aggie might fly into a closet, shut the door and bury
K06 1350 14    her head in the clothes; he dared to wait for the lightning.
K06 1370  1       Lightning could strike you blind if you were a sinner!
K06 1370 10    But he was good. He clenched his fists and faced the
K06 1380  8    terror. Thunder crashed; barrels tumbled down the mountainsides,
K06 1390  6    and bounced and bounced till their own fury split them
K06 1400  5    open. Lightning might strike the steeples of the other
K06 1410  3    churches; not of Drew Church. A flash illumined the
K06 1410 12    trees as a crooked bolt twigged in several directions.
K06 1420  9    Violet whinnied from the stable.
K06 1430  4       He ran out into the downpour, sped across the yard
K06 1440  2    and into the buggy room. "Don't be afraid, Violet"!
K06 1440 11    he shouted, and was aghast at the echoes. "Don't you
K06 1450 10    be afraid"! He would save her. If there was a fire
K06 1460 10    or a flood he would save Mama first and Violet next.
K06 1470  5    Drenched and shaking, he stood near the sweet-smelling
K06 1480  1    stall and dared to pat her muzzle. "Don't you be afraid,
K06 1490  1    Violet"!
K06 1490  2       After the storm, the sky cleared blue and cool,
K06 1500  1    and fragrant air swept the hills. When the sun came
K06 1500 11    out, Stevie strode proudly into Orange Square, smiling
K06 1510  7    like a landlord on industrious tenants. The fountain
K06 1520  4    had brimmed over, the cannon were wet, the soldiers'
K06 1530  2    monument glistened. Even before the benches had dried,
K06 1540  1    the Civil War veterans were straggling back to their
K06 1540 10    places. The great spire shone as if the lightning had
K06 1550  8    polished it. He jumped. The pointed shadow had nearly
K06 1560  5    touched him.
K06 1560  7       He trailed Ludie to the baseball game in the lot
K06 1570  6    on Kingston Street near the Dutch Reformed.
K06 1580  1       "Go on home"! Ludie screeched at him. "Someone'll
K06 1590  1    tell Papa"!
K06 1590  3       No one told on Ludie, not even when he slipped live
K06 1600  3    grasshoppers into the mite-box. Ludie did as he pleased.
K06 1610  1       Ludie took his slingshot and climbed to the rooftop
K06 1610 10    to shoot at crows. Ludie chewed roofer's tar. Ludie
K06 1620  7    had a cigar box full of marbles and shooters, and a
K06 1630  6    Roman candle from last Fourth of July. Ludie hopped
K06 1640  3    rides on freight cars, and was chased by Mr& Yankton,
K06 1650  1    the railroad guard. He came home overheated, ran straight
K06 1650 10    to the ice-chest, and gulped shivery cold water.
K06 1660  6       Stevie envied him. That Ludie! He, too, cocked his
K06 1670  6    cap at a jaunty angle, jingled marbles in his pocket,
K06 1680  4    and swaggered down Main Street. On the Christophers'
K06 1690  1    lawn, little girls in white pinafores were playing
K06 1690  9    grownups at a tea party. A Newfoundland sat solemnly
K06 1700  8    beside a doghouse half his size. Stevie yearned for
K06 1710  5    a dog. He wondered whether God had a dog in the sky.
K06 1720  3       He meandered down Pike Street, past the First National
K06 1730  1    Bank with its green window shades. He crossed the tracks
K06 1730 11    to Delaware House, where ladies in gay dresses and
K06 1740  9    men in straw boaters and waxed mustaches crowded the
K06 1750  6    verandah. A tall lady, with a ruffled collar very low
K06 1760  4    on her bosom, turned insolent green eyes upon him.
K06 1760 13    She was taller than Aggie. She was so beautiful with
K06 1770 10    her rosy mouth and haughty air that she had to be wicked.
K06 1780 10    Fiddles screeched; a piano tinkled.
K06 1790  2       "P& J&"- as Ludie called the town- was crowded with
K06 1800  3    summer people who came to the mountains to escape the
K06 1810  1    heat in the big cities. They stayed at hotels and boardinghouses,
K06 1810 12    or at private homes. Rich people went to Delaware House,
K06 1820 10    Opera House, American House or Fowler House.
K07 0010  1    If the crummy bastard could write! That's how it should
K07 0010 11    be. It's those two fucken niggers! Krist, I wish they
K07 0020 10    could write! Nigger pussy. He thought of sweet wet
K07 0030  8    nigger pussy. Oh, sweet land of heaven, haint there
K07 0050  6    just nothin like sweet nigger pussy! He thought of
K07 0060  4    her, the first one. He had caught her coming out of
K07 0060 15    the shack. She was a juicy one. Oh how they bounced!
K07 0070 11    Fresh, warm, sweet and juicy, sweet lovin sixteen,
K07 0080  7    she was. Man how I love nigger pussy! The snow came
K07 0090  6    a little faster now, he noted. He thought of Joe Harris,
K07 0100  4    the nigger who had gone after his sister. He chuckled,
K07 0110  1    the memory vivid. Jee- sus, We Fixed him! Yooee, we
K07 0120  1    fixed him! The snow again. If only the fucken weather
K07 0120 11    wasn't so lousy! Goddamn niggers, Lord. What I have
K07 0130  9    to put up with! Sonuvabitch, I can't figure out what
K07 0140  7    in hell for they went and put niggers in my squad for.
K07 0150  6    Only one worth a shit, and that's Brandon. He ain't
K07 0160  3    so bad **h
K07 0160  6       His thoughts turned to other things **h The big
K07 0170  4    shock everybody had when they found ol Slater and those
K07 0180  1    others done for. Kaboom for.
K07 0180  6       He had been pretty scared himself, wondering what
K07 0190  4    the hell was coming off. But he soon saw which way
K07 0200  2    the ball was bouncing. Soon came back to his senses.
K07 0200 12    "I soon came back to my senses", he said, aloud, to
K07 0210 10    the young blizzard, proudly, drawing himself up, as
K07 0220  5    if making a report to some important superior **h I
K07 0230  3    was the first to get my squad on the ball, and anybody
K07 0240  1    thinkin it was easy is pretty damn dumb. Look at thum.
K07 0240 12    That goddamn redheader was the worst. He kept sayin,
K07 0250  8    not me, not me, I don't wanta wind up like em. But
K07 0260  6    I told him, goddammit. "I told him", he said aloud
K07 0270  4    **h They'll get the guys that done it. That'll put
K07 0280  2    the place back to normal. Normal, by God. Maybe it's
K07 0280 12    a good thing it happened. Maybe they'll stop it now,
K07 0290  9    once for all. Clean the place up. They're doin it now.
K07 0300  8    I hear the whole bunch is croakin out in the snow.
K07 0310  5    They'll get the guys that done it **h There was something
K07 0320  3    troubling him though: as yet they hadn't **h Five days
K07 0330  3    **h Keerist **h Prickly twinges of annoyance ran through
K07 0340  1    him. His eyes blinked hard, snapping on and squashing
K07 0340 10    some bad things that were trying to push their way
K07 0360  6    into him. A tune began to whirl inside his head. One
K07 0370  5    of his favorites: "Guitar Boogie". It always came on,
K07 0380  4    faithfully, just like a radio or juke box, whenever
K07 0380 13    he started to worry too much about something, when
K07 0390  9    the bad things tried to push their way into him. The
K07 0400  8    music drove them off, or away, and he was free to walk
K07 0410  5    on air in a very few moments, humming and jiving within,
K07 0420  1    beating the rhythm within. He glowed with anticipation
K07 0420  9    about what would happen to the culprits when they caught
K07 0430  9    them **h Turn the bastards over to me- to me and my
K07 0440  9    boys- no nigger ever got what would be comin to them-
K07 0450  5    reactionary bastards **h. He had never heard the word
K07 0460  3    reactionary before his life as a ~POW began. It was
K07 0470  1    a word he was proud of, a word that meant much to him,
K07 0470 14    and he used it with great pleasure, almost as if it
K07 0480  8    were an exclusive possession, and more: he sensed himself
K07 0490  5    to be very highly educated, four cuts above any of
K07 0500  3    the folks back home **h "Four cuts at least", he chuckled
K07 0510  1    to himself, "and I owe it all to them". The word also
K07 0520  1    made him feel hate, sincere hate, for those so labeled.
K07 0520 11    He used it very effectively when he wanted to get his
K07 0530  8    squad on the ball. It came up again and again in the
K07 0540  6    discussion sessions **h Lousy Reactionary bastards
K07 0550  2    been tryin to fuck up the Program for months. Months.
K07 0550 12    Hired, hard lackeys of the Warmongering Capitalists.
K07 0560  7    Not captured, sent here. To fuck up the Program. You
K07 0570  8    guys remember that. Remember that **h He heard himself
K07 0580  5    haranguing them. He saw himself before them delivering
K07 0590  2    the speech. He laughed, suddenly, feeling a surge of
K07 0590 11    power telling him of his hold over them, seeing himself
K07 0600 10    before them, receiving utmost respect and attention.
K07 0610  5    One day, Ching had told him (smiling, patting him on
K07 0620  4    the back) as they walked to the weekly conference of
K07 0630  2    squad leaders, "Keep it up, your squad is good, one
K07 0630 12    of the best, keep it up, keep up the good work". He
K07 0640 10    would! That was really something, coming from Ching
K07 0650  5    **h "Really something", he said, aloud **h Dirty Reactionary
K07 0660  4    bastards comin down here in the night and bumpin off
K07 0670  3    ol Slater and those other poor bastards. "They'll get
K07 0680  2    them by God and let them bring them down here to me,
K07 0680 14    just let them, God I'll slice their balls right off
K07 0690  8    **h" His arm moved swiftly, violently, once, twice.
K07 0700  4    He felt intense satisfaction. He was tingling within.
K07 0710  3    Before him, mutilated, bleeding to death, they lay.
K07 0720  1    It was as if it had been done. "Bastards", he said
K07 0720 12    aloud, spitting on them. He halted, and looked around.
K07 0730  8    Rivers of cold sweat were suddenly unleashed within
K07 0740  4    him. The thought came back, the one nagging at him
K07 0750  3    these past four days. He tried to stifle it. But the
K07 0750 14    words were forming. He knew he couldn't. He braced
K07 0760  8    himself **h Somebody'll hafta start thinkin **h He
K07 0770  6    fought it, seeking to kill the last few words, but
K07 0780  4    on they came **h bout takin- his **h He was trembling,
K07 0790  2    a strange feeling upon him, fully expecting some catastrophe
K07 0800  1    to strike him dead on the spot. But it didn't. And
K07 0800 12    he took heart; the final word came forth **h place
K07 0810  8    **h Now he heard it, fully: "**h bout takin his place
K07 0820  6    **h" He listened, waited, nothing happened. He felt
K07 0830  4    good. His old self. The music arrived, taking him **h
K07 0840  3    its rhythm stroked him, snaked all through him, the
K07 0840 12    lyrics lifted him, took him from one magic isle to
K07 0850 10    another, stopping briefly at each **h Brandon. He is
K07 0860  7    good. Damn good. But a nigger. Johnson. Jesus, the
K07 0870  3    guy says he is trying. But he isn't with it, not at
K07 0880  2    all with it. When I talked to Ching about it, he said,
K07 0880 14    Everyone can learn, if he is not a Reactionary or lazy.
K07 0890 11    No one is stupid. That's what he said. He oughta know.
K07 0900  7    It is plain as hell Johnson is no Reactionary. So you're
K07 0910  5    not tryin, Johnson, you bastard you **h He looked over
K07 0920  5    at him, lying there, asleep, and he felt a wave of
K07 0930  1    revulsion. How he loathed him. Sleepy-eyed, soft-spoken
K07 0930 10    Johnson **h Biggest thorn in my side of the whole fucken
K07 0940 10    squad **h He was the guy what always goofed at Question
K07 0950  8    Time **h Why couldn't they have dumped him off on someone
K07 0960  7    else? Why me? Why didn't the damn Reactionaries bump
K07 0970  4    him off? Why Slater? **h Like a particle drawn to a
K07 0980  4    magnet he returned to that which was pressing so hard
K07 0990  1    in his mind. The music surged up, but it failed to
K07 0990 12    check it. Who is the man to take His place? The guy
K07 1000 10    with most on the Ball. Most on the Ball. Handle men.
K07 1010  6    Thoroughly Wised Up. Knows the score **h With a supreme
K07 1020  5    effort, he broke it off. He turned to the window again.
K07 1030  3    A gnawing and gnashing within him. The snow was tumbling
K07 1040  1    down furiously now. Huge glob-flakes hitting the ground,
K07 1040 10    piling higher and higher. He stared at it, amazed,
K07 1050  8    alarmed **h The whole fucken sky's cavin in! Keeeerist!
K07 1060  5    Lookit it! Cover the whole building, bury us all, by
K07 1070  6    nightfall. Jesus! **h Somebody, got to be somebody
K07 1080  2    **h If I don't put my two cents in soon, somebody else
K07 1090  1    will **h I know they're waitin only for one thing:
K07 1090 11    for the bastards what done it to be nailed. Maybe they
K07 1100  9    already got them. He was again tingling with pleasure,
K07 1110  5    seeing himself clearly in Slater's shoes. Top dog,
K07 1120  3    sleeping and eating right there with the Staff. Ching,
K07 1130  1    Tien, all of them **h Top dog **h Poor ol Slater **h
K07 1130 13    Jesus, imagine, the crummy bastards, they'll get em,
K07 1140  7    they'll get what's comin to em **h He whirled about
K07 1150  8    suddenly. It was nothing, though his heart was thumping
K07 1160  5    wildly. Somebody was up. That was all.
K07 1170  1       "Boy, you're stirrin early", a sleepy voice said.
K07 1170  8       "Yehhh", said Coughlin, testily, eyeing him up and
K07 1180  8    down.
K07 1180  9       "Lookit that come down, willya", said the man, scratching
K07 1190  9    himself, yawning.
K07 1200  1       "Yehhh", said Coughlin, practically spitting on
K07 1200  7    him.
K07 1210  1       The man moved away.
K07 1210  5       That's the way. They'll toe the line. Goddamn it.
K07 1220  5    Keep the chatter to a minimum, short answers, one word,
K07 1230  3    if possible. Less bull the more you can do with um.
K07 1230 14    That's Brown's trouble. All he does is to bullshit
K07 1240  9    with his squad, and they are the stupidest bastards
K07 1250  7    around. Just about to get their asses kicked into hut
K07 1260  4    Seven. Plenty of room there now. All those dumb 8-Balls
K07 1270  3    croaked. You can do anything with these dumb fucks
K07 1270 12    if you know how. Anything. They'd cut their mothers'
K07 1280  8    belly open. Give um the works. See, he's already snapping
K07 1290  8    it up, the dumb jerk **h Coughlin grinned, feeling
K07 1300  5    supremely on top of things **h He watched the snow
K07 1310  3    once again. It infuriated him. It made no sense to
K07 1310 13    him **h He whirled around, suddenly hot all over, finding
K07 1320 10    the man who had been standing before him a few moments
K07 1330  8    back, nailing him to the spot on which he now stood,
K07 1340  6    open-mouthed-
K07 1340  8       "You- Listen!- name William Foster's Four Internal
K07 1350  8    Contradictions in Capitalism. Quick- Quick- NOW"!
K07 1360  2       The man shrank before the hot fury, searching frantically
K07 1370  6    for the answer **h
K07 1370 10       Finnegan woke up. There was a hell of a noise this
K07 1380 11    time of morning. He stared out the window. For Christ's
K07 1390  6    sake! The whole fucken sky's caved in! He looked for
K07 1400  6    the source of the noise that had awakened him **h It
K07 1410  4    was that prick Coughlin. What the hell was he up to
K07 1420  2    now? Why didn't he drop dead? How did they miss him
K07 1420 13    when they got Slater? How? **h Then he was asking himself
K07 1430 10    the usual early morning questions: What the Hell am
K07 1440  8    I doin here? Is this a nut-house? Am I nuts? Is this
K07 1450 10    for real? Am I dreamin? **h
K07 1460  2       From somewhere in the hut came Coughlin's voice.
K07 1470  1       "How long did you study? How long, buddy"?
K07 1470  9       "For Christ's sake"! a voice pleaded.
K07 1480  6       "Don't Christsake me, buddy! Just answer. C'mon-
K07 1490  6    c'mon!"
K07 1500  1       **h I'm no hero. Did I start the damn war? **h Automatically,
K07 1510  1    Finnegan started going over today's lesson **h Capitalism
K07 1510  9    rots from the core. Did I start the damn war? Who did?
K07 1520 11    That's a good one. I thought I knew. Why don't Uncle
K07 1530  9    Sam mind his own fucken business? I'll bet both together
K07 1540  6    did. I bet. So fuck them both. Goddamn. Goddammit.
K07 1550  3    Just let me go home to Jersey, back to the shore, oh,
K07 1560  3    Jesus, the shore. The waves breakin in on you and your
K07 1560 14    girl at night there on the warm beach in the moonlight
K07 1570 11    even Jesus sweet Mary. If I hafta do this to stay alive
K07 1580 10    by God I'll do it. I hated the goddamn army from the
K07 1590  7    first day I got in anyhow. All pricks like Coughlin
K07 1600  3    run it anyway, one way or another. Fuck them **h He
K07 1610  1    rolled over and tried to shut out the noise, now much
K07 1610 12    louder. He snuggled into the blanket **h
K07 1620  5    ##
K07 1620  6    Brandon dreamed. He was sitting on top of a log which
K07 1630  7    was spinning round and around in the water. A river,
K07 1640  2    wide as the Missouri, where it ran by his place. The
K07 1640 13    log was spinning. But he was not. So what? Why should
K07 1650 10    I be spinning just because the goddamn log is spinning?
K07 1660  7    (he asked this out loud, but no one heard it over the
K07 1670  7    other noise in the hut). Over on the bank, the west
K07 1680  3    bank, a man stood, calling to him. He couldn't make
K07 1680 13    out what he was saying. No doubt it had to do with
K07 1690 12    the log. Why should he be concerned?
K08 0010  1       Rousseau is so persuasive that Voltaire is almost
K08 0010  9    convinced that he should burn his books, too. But while
K08 0020  9    the two men are riding into the country, where they
K08 0030  5    are going to dinner, they are attacked in the dark
K08 0040  3    of the forest by a band of thieves, who strip them
K08 0040 14    of everything, including most of their clothes.
K08 0050  6       "You must be a very learned man", says Voltaire
K08 0060  4    to one of the bandits.
K08 0060  9       "A learned man"? the bandit laughs in his face.
K08 0070  8       But Voltaire perseveres. He goes to the chief himself.
K08 0080  7    "At what university did you study"? he asks. He refuses
K08 0090  6    to believe that the bandit chief never attended a higher
K08 0100  4    institution. "To have become so corrupt", he says,
K08 0110  2    "surely you must have studied many arts and sciences".
K08 0120  1       The chief, annoyed by these questions, knocks Voltaire
K08 0120  9    down and shouts at him that he not only never went
K08 0130  9    to any school, but never even learned how to read.
K08 0140  5       When finally the two bedraggled men reach their
K08 0150  2    friend's home, Voltaire's fears are once again aroused.
K08 0160  1    For it is such a distinguished place, with such fine
K08 0160 11    works of art and such a big library, that there can
K08 0170  8    be little doubt but that the owner has become depraved
K08 0180  4    by all this culture.
K08 0180  8       To Voltaire's surprise, however, their host gives
K08 0190  5    them fresh clothes to put on, opens his purse to lend
K08 0200  4    them money and sits them down before a good dinner.
K08 0200 14       Immediately after dinner, however, Rousseau asks
K08 0210  7    for still another favor. Could he have pen and paper,
K08 0220  8    please? He is in a hurry to write another essay against
K08 0230  6    culture.
K08 0230  7       Such was the impromptu that Voltaire gave to howls
K08 0240  6    of laughter at Sans Souci and that was soon circulated
K08 0250  3    in manuscript throughout the literary circles of Europe,
K08 0260  1    to be printed sometime later, but with the name of
K08 0260 11    Timon of Athens, the famous misanthrope, substituted
K08 0270  5    for that of Rousseau.
K08 0280  1       How cruel!
K08 0280  2       But at the same time how understandable. How could
K08 0290  1    the rich, for whom life was made so simple, ever understand
K08 0290 12    the subterfuges, the lies, the frauds, the errors,
K08 0300  7    sins and even crimes to which the poor were driven
K08 0310  6    in their efforts to overcome the great advantages the
K08 0320  2    rich had in the race of life?
K08 0320  9       How, for example, could a Voltaire understand the
K08 0330  6    strange predicament in which a Rousseau would find
K08 0340  3    himself when, soon after the furor of his first Discourse,
K08 0350  1    he acquired still another title to fame?
K08 0350  8       This time as a musician. As a composer.
K08 0360  7       Ever since he had first begun to study music and
K08 0370  5    to teach it, Rousseau had dreamed of piercing through
K08 0380  1    to fame as the result of a successful opera. But his
K08 0380 12    facility in this genre was not great. And his efforts
K08 0390  9    to get a performance for his Gallant Muses invariably
K08 0400  4    failed. And for good reasons. His operatic music had
K08 0410  4    little merit.
K08 0410  6       But then one day, while on a week's visit to the
K08 0420  5    country home of a retired Swiss jeweler, Rousseau amused
K08 0430  2    the company with a few little melodies he had written,
K08 0430 12    to which he attached no great importance. He was really
K08 0440  9    amazed to discover the other guests so excited about
K08 0450  7    these delicate little songs.
K08 0460  1       "Put a few such songs together", they urged him.
K08 0460 10    "String them onto some sort of little plot, and you'll
K08 0470  9    have a delightful operetta".
K08 0480  1       He didn't believe them. "Nonsense", he said. "This
K08 0490  1    is the sort of stuff I write and then throw away"!
K08 0500  1       "Heaven forbid"! cried the ladies, enchanted by
K08 0500  7    his music. "You must make an opera out of this material".
K08 0510  9       And they wouldn't leave off arguing and pleading
K08 0520  6    until he had promised.
K08 0520 10       Oh, the irony and the bitterness of it! That after
K08 0530 10    all his years of effort to become a composer, he should
K08 0540  7    now, now when he was still stoutly replying to the
K08 0550  4    critics of his Discourse on the Arts and Sciences,
K08 0560  1    be so close to a success in music and have to reject
K08 0560 13    it.
K08 0570  1       Or at least appear to reject it!
K08 0570  8       But what else could he do? You couldn't on the one
K08 0580  6    hand decry the arts and at the same time practice them,
K08 0590  3    could you? Well, yes, perhaps in literature, since
K08 0600  1    you could argue that you couldn't keep silent about
K08 0600 10    your feelings against literature and so were involved
K08 0610  6    in spite of yourself. But now music too? No. That would
K08 0620  5    be too much!
K08 0620  8       And the fault, of course, was Rameau's. The fault
K08 0630  6    was Rameau's and that of the whole culture of this
K08 0640  4    Parisian age. For it was Rameau's type of music that
K08 0650  2    he had been trying to write, and that he couldn't write.
K08 0650 13    These little songs, however, were sweet nothings from
K08 0660  8    the heart, tender memories of his childhood, little
K08 0670  6    melodies that anyone could hum and that would make
K08 0680  4    one want to weep.
K08 0680  8       But no. He couldn't appear as a composer now. That
K08 0690  6    glory, craved for so long, was now forbidden to him.
K08 0700  3    Still, just for the ladies, and just for this once,
K08 0700 13    for this one weekend in the country, he would make
K08 0710  9    a little piece out of his melodies.
K08 0720  2       The ladies were delighted and Jean Jacques was applauded.
K08 0730  1    And everyone went to work to learn the parts which
K08 0730 11    he wrote.
K08 0740  1       But then, after the little operetta had been given
K08 0740 10    its feeble amateur rendering, everyone insisted that
K08 0750  6    it was too good to be lost forever, and that the Royal
K08 0760  6    Academy of Music must now have the manuscript in order
K08 0770  3    to give it the really first-rate performance it merited.
K08 0780  1       Rousseau was aware that he must seem like a hypocrite,
K08 0780 11    standing there and arguing that he could not possibly
K08 0790  9    permit a public performance. The ladies especially
K08 0800  4    couldn't understand what troubled him. A contradiction?
K08 0810  3    Bah, what was a contradiction in one's life? Every
K08 0820  2    woman has had the experience of saying no when she
K08 0820 12    meant yes, and saying yes when she meant no.
K08 0830  8       Rousseau had to admit that though he couldn't agree
K08 0840  5    to a public performance, he would indeed, just for
K08 0850  3    his own private satisfaction, dearly love to know how
K08 0850 12    his work would sound when done by professional musicians
K08 0860  8    and by trained voices.
K08 0870  1       "I'd simply like to know if it is as good as you
K08 0870 13    kind people seem to think", he said.
K08 0880  6       Duclos, the historian, pointed out to Jean Jacques
K08 0890  5    that this was impossible. The musicians of the Royal
K08 0900  2    Opera would not rehearse a work merely to see how it
K08 0900 13    would sound. Merely to satisfy the author's curiosity.
K08 0910  7       Rousseau agreed. But he recalled that Rameau had
K08 0920  7    once had a private performance of his opera Armide,
K08 0930  5    behind closed doors, just for himself alone.
K08 0940  1       Duclos understood what was bothering Rousseau: that
K08 0940  8    the writer of the Prosopopoeia of Fabricius should
K08 0950  7    now become known as the writer of an amusing little
K08 0960  6    operetta. That would certainly be paradoxical. But
K08 0970  2    Duclos thought he saw a way out.
K08 0970  9       "Let me do the submitting to the Royal Academy",
K08 0980  6    he suggested. "Your name will never appear. No one
K08 0990  5    will even suspect that it is your work".
K08 1000  1       To that Rousseau could agree.
K08 1000  6       But now what crazy twists and turns of his emotions!
K08 1010  6       Afraid at one and the same time that his work might
K08 1020  5    be turned down- which would be a blow to his pride
K08 1030  1    even though no one knew he was the author- and that
K08 1030 12    the work would be accepted, and then that his violent
K08 1040  8    feelings in the matter would certainly betray how deeply
K08 1050  5    concerned he was in spite of himself. And how anxious
K08 1060  3    this lover of obscurity was for applause! And thus
K08 1060 12    torn between his desire to be known as the composer
K08 1070 10    of a successful opera and the necessity of remaining
K08 1080  6    true to his proclaimed desire for anonymity, Rousseau
K08 1090  2    suffered through several painful weeks.
K08 1090  7       All these emotions were screwed up to new heights
K08 1100  8    when, after acceptance and the first rehearsals, there
K08 1110  5    ensued such a buzz of excitement among Parisian music
K08 1120  2    lovers that Duclos had to come running to Rousseau
K08 1120 11    to inform him that the news had reached the superintendent
K08 1130 10    of the King's amusements, and that he was now demanding
K08 1140  8    that the work be offered first at the royal summer
K08 1150  6    palace of Fontainebleau. Imagine the honor of it!
K08 1160  3       "What was your answer"? Jean Jacques asked, striving
K08 1170  2    to appear unimpressed.
K08 1170  5       "I refused", Duclos said. "What else could I do?
K08 1180  6    Monsieur de Cury was incensed, of course. But I said
K08 1190  4    I would first have to get the author's permission.
K08 1200  1    And I was certain he would refuse".
K08 1200  8       How infuriating all this was! Why had not this success
K08 1210  8    come to him before he had plunged into his Discourse,
K08 1220  4    and before he had committed himself to a life of austerity
K08 1230  3    and denial? Now, when everything was opening up to
K08 1240  1    him- even the court of Louis /15,!- he had to play
K08 1240 11    a role of self-effacement.
K08 1250  3       Back and forth Duclos had to go, between M& de Cury
K08 1260  3    and Jean Jacques and between the Duke d'Aumont and
K08 1260 12    Jean Jacques again, as his little operetta, The Village
K08 1270  9    Soothsayer, though still unperformed, took on ever
K08 1280  7    more importance.
K08 1290  1       And of course the news of who the composer was did
K08 1290 11    finally begin to get around among his closest friends.
K08 1300  6    But they, naturally, kept his secret well, and the
K08 1310  4    public at large knew only of a great excitement in
K08 1310 14    musical and court circles.
K08 1320  4       How titillating it was to go among people who did
K08 1330  3    not know him as the composer, but who talked in the
K08 1330 14    most glowing terms of the promise of the piece after
K08 1340 10    having heard the first rehearsals. The furor was such
K08 1350  6    that people who could not possibly have squirmed their
K08 1360  3    way into the rehearsals were pretending that they were
K08 1370  1    intimate with the whole affair and that it would be
K08 1370 11    sensational. And listening to such a conversation one
K08 1380  7    morning while taking a cup of chocolate in a cafe,
K08 1390  5    Rousseau found himself bathed in perspiration, trembling
K08 1400  2    lest his authorship become known, and at the same time
K08 1400 12    dreaming of the startling effect he would make if he
K08 1410 10    should proclaim himself suddenly as the composer.
K08 1420  5       He felt himself now, as he himself says in his Confessions,
K08 1430  5    at a crucial point of his life. And that was why, on
K08 1440  4    the day of the performance, when a carriage from the
K08 1440 14    royal stables called to take him to the palace, he
K08 1450 10    did not bother to shave. On the contrary, he was pleased
K08 1460  7    that his face showed a neglect of several days.
K08 1470  3       Seeing him in that condition, and about to enter
K08 1480  1    the hall where the King, the Queen, the whole royal
K08 1480 11    family and all the members of the highest aristocracy
K08 1490  7    would be present, Grimm and the Abbe Raynal and others
K08 1500  5    tried to stop him.
K08 1500  9       "You can't go in that way"! they cried.
K08 1510  7       "Why not"? Jean Jacques asked. "Who is going to
K08 1520  6    stop me"?
K08 1520  8       "You haven't dressed for the occasion"! they pointed
K08 1530  6    out to him.
K08 1530  9       "I'm dressed as I always am", Rousseau said. "Neither
K08 1540  9    better nor worse".
K08 1550  1       "At home, yes", they argued. "But here you are in
K08 1560  2    the palace. There's the King. And Madame de Pompadour".
K08 1560 11       "If they are here, then surely I have the right
K08 1570 11    to be here", Rousseau said. "And even more right. Since
K08 1580  8    I am the composer"!
K08 1590  1       "But in such a slovenly condition".
K08 1590  7       "What is slovenly about me"? Rousseau asked. "Is
K08 1600  8    it because of my slovenliness that hair grows on my
K08 1610  6    face? Surely it would grow there whether I washed myself
K08 1630  4    or not. A hundred years ago I would have worn a beard
K08 1640  3    with pride. And those without beards would have stood
K08 1640 12    out as not dressed for the occasion. Now times have
K08 1650  9    changed, and I must pretend that hair doesn't grow
K08 1660  5    on my face. That's the fashion. And fashion is the
K08 1670  4    real king here. Not Louis /15,, since even he obeys.
K08 1680  1    Now, if you don't mind, I should like to hear my own
K08 1680 13    piece performed".
K08 1690  1       But of course behind his boldness he didn't feel
K08 1690 10    bold at all. He trembled lest his piece should fail.
K08 1700 10    And this in addition to his usual fear of being among
K08 1710  8    people of high society. His fear of making some inane
K08 1720  5    or inappropriate remark. And even deeper than that:
K08 1730  2    his fear lest in this closed hall he should suddenly
K08 1730 12    itch to relieve himself. Could he walk out in the midst
K08 1740 10    of his piece? Here, before the court? Before the King?
K09 0010  1    It was the first time any of us had laughed since the
K09 0010 13    morning began.
K09 0020  1    ##
K09 0020  2    The rider from Concord was as good as his word. He
K09 0020 13    came spurring and whooping down the road, his horse
K09 0030  8    kicking up clouds of dust, shouting:
K09 0040  2       "They're a-coming! By God, they're a-coming, they
K09 0050  2    are"!
K09 0050  3       We heard him before he ever showed, and we heard
K09 0060  2    him yelling after he was out of sight. Solomon Chandler
K09 0060 12    hadn't misjudged the strength of his lungs, not at
K09 0070  9    all. I think you could have heard him a mile away,
K09 0080  7    and he was bursting at every seam with importance.
K09 0090  2    I have observed that being up on a horse changes the
K09 0090 13    whole character of a man, and when a very small man
K09 0100 11    is up on a saddle, he'd like as not prefer to eat his
K09 0110  8    meals there. That's understandable, and I appreciate
K09 0120  4    the sentiment. As for this rider, I never saw him before
K09 0130  3    or afterwards and never saw him dismounted, so whether
K09 0130 12    he stood tall or short in his shoes, I can't say; but
K09 0140 11    I do know that he gave the day tone and distinction.
K09 0150  8    The last thing in the world that resembled a war was
K09 0160  5    our line of farmers and storekeepers and mechanics
K09 0170  1    perched on top of a stone wall, and this dashing rider
K09 0170 12    made us feel a good deal sharper and more alert to
K09 0180  9    the situation.
K09 0180 11       We came down off the wall as if he had toppled all
K09 0190 11    of us, and we crouched behind it. I have heard people
K09 0200  6    talk with contempt about the British regulars, but
K09 0210  2    that only proves that a lot of people talk about things
K09 0210 13    of which they are deplorably ignorant. Whatever we
K09 0220  8    felt about the redcoats, we respected them in terms
K09 0230  6    of their trade, which was killing; and I know that
K09 0240  4    I, myself, was nauseated with apprehension and fear
K09 0240 12    and that my hands were soaking wet where they held
K09 0250 10    my gun. I wanted to wipe my flint, but I didn't dare
K09 0260  7    to, the state my hands were in, just as I didn't dare
K09 0270  5    to do anything about the priming. The gun would fire
K09 0280  2    or not, just as chance willed. I put a lot more trust
K09 0280 14    in my two legs than in the gun, because the most important
K09 0290 10    thing I had learned about war was that you could run
K09 0300  8    away and survive to talk about it.
K09 0310  1       The gunfire, which was so near that it seemed just
K09 0310 11    a piece up the road now, stopped for long enough to
K09 0320  8    count to twenty; and in that brief interval, a redcoat
K09 0330  4    officer came tearing down the road, whipping his horse
K09 0340  3    fit to kill. I don't know whether he was after our
K09 0340 14    rider, who had gone by a minute before, or whether
K09 0350 10    he was simply scouting conditions; but when he passed
K09 0360  5    us by, a musket roared, and he reared his horse, swung
K09 0370  3    it around, and began to whip it back in the direction
K09 0380  1    from which he had come. He was a fine and showy rider,
K09 0380 13    but his skill was wasted on us. From above me and somewhere
K09 0390 10    behind me, a rifle cracked. The redcoat officer collapsed
K09 0400  5    like a punctured bolster, and the horse reared and
K09 0410  4    threw him from the saddle, except that one booted foot
K09 0420  1    caught in the stirrup. Half crazed by the weight dragging,
K09 0420 11    the dust, and the heat, the horse leaped our wall,
K09 0430  9    dashing out the rider's brains against it, and leaving
K09 0440  5    him lying there among us- while the horse crashed away
K09 0450  3    through the brush.
K09 0450  6       It was my initiation to war and the insane symphony
K09 0460  5    war plays; for what had happened on the common was
K09 0470  2    only terror and flight; but this grinning, broken head,
K09 0470 11    not ten feet away from me, was the sharp definition
K09 0480 10    of what my reality had become.
K09 0490  2       And now the redcoats were coming, and the gunfire
K09 0490 11    was a part of the dust cloud on the road to the west
K09 0500 13    of us. I must state that the faster things happened,
K09 0510  6    the slower they happened; the passage and rhythm of
K09 0520  4    time changed, and when I remember back to what happened
K09 0530  1    then, each event is a separate and frozen incident.
K09 0530 10    In my recollection, there was a long interval between
K09 0540  7    the death of the officer and the appearance of the
K09 0550  5    first of the retreating redcoats, and in that interval
K09 0560  1    the dust cloud over the road seems to hover indefinitely.
K09 0560 11    Yet it could not have been more than a matter of seconds,
K09 0570 12    and then the front of the British army came into view.
K09 0580  8       It was only hours since I had last seen them, but
K09 0590  7    they had changed and I had changed. In the very front
K09 0600  4    rank, two men were wounded and staggered along, trailing
K09 0610  1    blood behind them. No drummers here, no pipers, and
K09 0610 10    the red coats were covered with a fine film of dust.
K09 0620  9    They marched with bayonets fixed, and as fixed on their
K09 0630  6    faces was anger, fear, and torment. Rank after rank
K09 0640  2    of them came down the road, and the faces were all
K09 0640 13    the same, and they walked in a sea of dust.
K09 0650  9       "Committeemen, hold your fire! Hold your fire"!
K09 0660  4    a voice called, and what made it even more terrible
K09 0670  1    and unreal was that the redcoat ranks never paused
K09 0670 10    for an instant, only some of them glancing toward the
K09 0680  8    stone wall, from behind which the voice came.
K09 0690  4       The front of their column had already passed us,
K09 0700  2    when another officer came riding down the side of the
K09 0700 12    road, not five paces from where we were. My Cousin
K09 0710  9    Simmons carried a musket, but he had loaded it with
K09 0720  7    bird shot, and as the officer came opposite him, he
K09 0730  3    rose up behind the wall and fired. One moment there
K09 0730 13    was a man in the saddle; the next a headless horror
K09 0740  9    on a horse that bolted through the redcoat ranks, and
K09 0750  5    during the next second or two, we all of us fired into
K09 0760  4    the suddenly disorganized column of soldiers. One moment,
K09 0770  1    the road was filled with disciplined troops, marching
K09 0770  9    four by four with a purpose as implacable as death;
K09 0780  8    the next, a cloud of gun smoke covered a screaming
K09 0790  4    fury of sound, out of which the redcoat soldiers emerged
K09 0800  2    with their bayonets and their cursing fury.
K09 0800  9       In the course of this, they had fired on us; but
K09 0810  9    I have no memory of that. I had squeezed the trigger
K09 0820  5    of my own gun, and to my amazement, it had fired and
K09 0830  3    kicked back into my shoulder with the force of an angry
K09 0830 14    mule; and then I was adding my own voice to the crescendo
K09 0840 12    of sound, hurling more vile language than I ever thought
K09 0850  8    I knew, sobbing and shouting, and aware that if I had
K09 0860  7    passed water before, it was not enough, for my pants
K09 0870  4    were soaking wet.
K09 0870  7       I would have stood there and died there if left
K09 0880  4    to myself, but Cousin Simmons grabbed my arm in his
K09 0890  1    viselike grip and fairly plucked me out of there; and
K09 0890 11    then I came to some sanity and plunged away with such
K09 0900  9    extraordinary speed that I outdistanced Cousin Simmons
K09 0910  4    by far. Everyone else was running. Later we realized
K09 0920  3    that the redcoats had stopped their charge at the wall.
K09 0930  1    Their only hope of survival was to hold to the road
K09 0930 12    and keep marching.
K09 0940  1    ##
K09 0940  2    We tumbled to a stop in Deacon Gordon's cow hole, a
K09 0940 13    low-lying bit of pasture with a muddy pool of water
K09 0950 10    in its middle. A dozen cows mooed sadly and regarded
K09 0960  6    us as if we were insane, as perhaps we were at that
K09 0970  5    moment, with the crazy excitement of our first encounter,
K09 0980  1    the yelling and shooting still continuing up at the
K09 0980 10    road, and the thirst of some of the men, which was
K09 0990  9    so great that they waded into the muddy water and scooped
K09 1000  5    up handfuls of it. Isaac Pitt, one of the men from
K09 1010  3    Lincoln, had taken a musket ball in his belly; and
K09 1010 13    though he had found the strength to run with us, now
K09 1020 11    he collapsed and lay on the ground, dying, the Reverend
K09 1030  6    holding his head and wiping his hot brow. It may appear
K09 1040  4    that we were cruel and callous, but no one had time
K09 1050  1    to spend sympathizing with poor Isaac- except the Reverend.
K09 1050 10    I know that I myself felt that it was a mortal shame
K09 1060 11    for a man to be torn open by a British musket ball,
K09 1070  7    as Isaac had been, yet I also felt relieved and lucky
K09 1080  4    that it had been him and not myself. I was drunk with
K09 1090  2    excitement and the smell of gunpowder that came floating
K09 1090 11    down from the road, and the fact that I was not afraid
K09 1100 11    now, but only waiting to know what to do next.
K09 1110  7       Meanwhile, I reloaded my gun, as the other men were
K09 1120  4    doing. We were less than a quarter of a mile from the
K09 1130  1    road, and we could trace its shape from the ribbon
K09 1130 11    of powder smoke and dust that hung over it. Wherever
K09 1140  7    you looked, you saw Committeemen running across the
K09 1150  4    meadows, some away from the road, some toward it, some
K09 1160  1    parallel to it; and about a mile to the west a cluster
K09 1160 13    of at least fifty militia were making their way in
K09 1170  8    our direction.
K09 1170 10       Cousin Joshua and some others felt that we should
K09 1180  9    march toward Lexington and take up new positions ahead
K09 1190  7    of the slow-moving British column, but another group
K09 1200  3    maintained that we should stick to this spot and this
K09 1210  1    section of road. I didn't offer any advice, but I certainly
K09 1210 12    did not want to go back to where the officer lay with
K09 1220 11    his brains dashed out. Someone said that while we were
K09 1240  7    standing here and arguing about it, the British would
K09 1250  4    be gone; but Cousin Simmons said he had watched them
K09 1260  2    marching west early in the morning, and moving at a
K09 1260 12    much brisker pace it had still taken half an hour for
K09 1270 10    their column to pass, what with the narrowness of the
K09 1280  5    road and their baggage and ammunition carts.
K09 1290  1       While this was being discussed, we saw the militia
K09 1290 10    to the west of us fanning out and breaking into little
K09 1300  9    clusters of two and three men as they approached the
K09 1310  6    road. It was the opinion of some of us that these must
K09 1320  3    be part of the Committeemen who had been in the Battle
K09 1330  1    of the North Bridge, which entitled them to a sort
K09 1330 11    of veteran status, and we felt that if they employed
K09 1340  8    this tactic, it was likely enough the best one. Mattathias
K09 1350  5    Dover said:
K09 1350  7       "It makes sense. If we cluster together, the redcoats
K09 1370  6    can make an advantage out of it, but there's not a
K09 1380  5    blessed thing they can do with two or three of us except
K09 1390  3    chase us, and we can outrun them".
K09 1390 10       That settled it, and we broke into parties of two
K09 1400  8    and three. Cousin Joshua Dover decided to remain with
K09 1410  4    the Reverend and poor Isaac Pitt until life passed
K09 1410 13    away- and he was hurt so badly he did not seem for
K09 1420 14    long in this world. I went off with Cousin Simmons,
K09 1430  7    who maintained that if he didn't see to me, he didn't
K09 1440  6    know who would.
K09 1440  9       "Good heavens, Adam", he said, "I thought one thing
K09 1450  7    you'd have no trouble learning is when to get out of
K09 1460  7    a place".
K09 1460  9       "I learned that now", I said.
K09 1470  3    ##
K09 1470  4    We ran east for about half a mile before we turned
K09 1470 15    back to the road, panting from the effort and soaked
K09 1480 10    with sweat. There was a clump of trees that appeared
K09 1490  8    to provide cover right up to the road, and the shouting
K09 1500  4    and gunfire never slackened.
K09 1500  8       Under the trees, there was a dead redcoat, a young
K09 1510  8    boy with a pasty white skin and a face full of pimples,
K09 1520  6    who had taken a rifle ball directly between the eyes.
K09 1530  2    Three men were around him. They had stripped him of
K09 1530 12    his musket and equipment, and now they were pulling
K09 1540  8    his boots and jacket off. Cousin Simmons grabbed one
K09 1550  5    of them by the shoulder and flung him away.
K09 1560  1       "God's name, what are you to rob the dead with the
K09 1560 12    fight going on"! Cousin Simmons roared.
K09 1570  6       They tried to outface him, but Joseph Simmons was
K09 1580  6    as wide as two average men, and it would have taken
K09 1590  3    braver men than these were to outface him.
K10 0010  1       That summer the gambling houses were closed, despite
K10 0010  9    the threats of Pierre Ameaux, a gaming-card manufacturer.
K10 0020  8    Dancing was no longer permitted in the streets. The
K10 0030  6    Bordel and other places of prostitution were emptied.
K10 0040  3    The slit breeches had to go. Drunkenness was no longer
K10 0050  2    tolerated. In defiance, a chinless reprobate, Jake
K10 0050  9    Camaret, marched down the aisle in St& Peter's one
K10 0060  9    Sunday morning, followed by one of the women from the
K10 0070  8    Bordel, whose dress and walk plainly showed the lack
K10 0080  4    of any shame. Plunking themselves down on the front
K10 0090  1    bench, they turned to smirk at those around them.
K10 0090 10       John's first impulse was to denounce their blasphemy.
K10 0100  7    But the thought occurred that God would want this opportunity
K10 0110  7    used to tell them about Him. Calmly he opened the Bible
K10 0120  5    and read of the woman at the well. He finished the
K10 0130  2    worship service as if there had been no brazen attempt
K10 0130 12    to dishonor God and man.
K10 0140  4       The next morning, as the clock struck nine, he appeared
K10 0150  3    at the Council meeting in the Town Hall and insisted
K10 0160  1    that the couple would have to be punished if the Church
K10 0160 12    was to be respected.
K10 0170  1       "I have told you before, and I tell you again",
K10 0170 11    Monsieur Favre said rudely. "Stick to the preaching
K10 0180  8    of the Gospel"!
K10 0190  1       John stiffened in anger. "That is the answer the
K10 0190 10    ungodly will always make when the Church points its
K10 0200  9    fingers at their sins. I say to you that the Church
K10 0210  8    will ever decry evil"!
K10 0210 12       John's reply was like a declaration of war. Monsieur
K10 0220  9    Favre sat down in his high-backed stall, lips compressed,
K10 0230  8    eyes glinting. Ablard Corne, a short man with a rotunda
K10 0240  7    of stomach, rose. Every eye was on him as he began
K10 0250  4    to speak.
K10 0250  6       "What Master Calvin says is true. How can we have
K10 0260  5    a good city unless we respect morality"?
K10 0270  1       Abel Poupin, a tall man with sunken cheeks and deep-set
K10 0270 11    eyes, got to his feet. "We all know that Jake Camaret
K10 0280  9    and the woman are brazenly living together. It would
K10 0290  5    be well to show the populace how we deal with adulterers".
K10 0300  3       Philibert Berthelier, the son of the famous patriot,
K10 0310  2    disagreed. "Do not listen to that Frenchman. He is
K10 0310 11    throttling the liberty my father gave his life to win"!
K10 0320 10       John was quietly insistent. "There can be no compromise
K10 0330  9    when souls are in jeopardy".
K10 0340  3       A week later the sentence of the Council was carried
K10 0350  2    out: Jake Camaret and the woman were marched naked
K10 0350 11    through the streets past a mocking populace. Before
K10 0360  8    them stalked the beadle, proclaiming as he went, "Thus
K10 0370  6    the Council deals with those who break its laws- adulterers,
K10 0380  4    thieves, murderers, and lewd persons. Let evildoers
K10 0390  2    contemplate their ways, and let every man beware"!
K10 0390 10    ##
K10 0400  1    John's thoughts raced painfully into the past as he
K10 0400 10    read the letter he had just received from his sister
K10 0410  8    Mary. Charles had died two weeks before, in early November,
K10 0420  6    without being reconciled to the Church. The canons,
K10 0430  3    in a body, had tried to force him on his deathbed to
K10 0440  1    let them give him the last rites of the Church, but
K10 0440 12    he had died still proclaiming salvation by faith. Burial
K10 0450  6    had taken place at night in the ground at the public
K10 0460  6    crossroads under the gibbet, so that his enemies could
K10 0470  2    not find his body and have it dug up and burned. The
K10 0470 14    Abbot of St& Eloi, Claude de Mommor, had been a good
K10 0480 11    friend, but not even he thought Charles deserved burial
K10 0490  7    in hallowed ground.
K10 0500  1       John closed his eyes and saw once again the little
K10 0500 10    niche in his mother's bedroom, where she had knelt
K10 0510  6    to tell the good Virgin of her needs. The blue-draped
K10 0520  4    Virgin was still there, but no one knelt before her
K10 0530  1    now. Not even Varnessa; she, too, prayed only to God.
K10 0530 11    For an instant John longed for the sound of the bells
K10 0540 10    of Noyon-la-Sainte, the touch of his mother's hand,
K10 0550  7    the lilt of Charles's voice in the square raftered
K10 0560  3    rooms, his father's bass tones rumbling to the canons,
K10 0570  1    and the sight of the beloved bishop. But he had to
K10 0570 12    follow the light. Unless God expected a man to believe
K10 0580  8    the Holy Scriptures, why had He given them to him?
K10 0590  7    ##
K10 0590  8    The white-clad trees stood like specters in the February
K10 0600  5    night. Snow buried the streets and covered the slanting
K10 0610  3    rooftops, as John trudged toward St& Peter's. A carriage
K10 0620  1    crunched by, its dim lights filtering through the gloom.
K10 0620 10    The sharp wind slapped at him and his feet felt like
K10 0630 11    ice as the snow penetrated the holes of his shoes,
K10 0640  6    his only ones, now patched with folded parchment. The
K10 0650  2    city had recently given him a small salary, but it
K10 0650 12    was not enough to supply even necessities.
K10 0660  6       As he neared the square, a round figure muffled
K10 0670  4    in a long, black cape whisked by. John recognized Ablard
K10 0680  2    Corne and called out a greeting. How grateful he was
K10 0680 12    to such men! There were several on the Council who
K10 0690  9    tried to live like Christians. Despite their efforts,
K10 0700  4    the problems seemed to grow graver all the time. Quickening
K10 0710  5    his steps, John entered the vast church and climbed
K10 0720  2    the tower steps to the bells. Underneath the big one,
K10 0720 12    in the silent moonlight, lay a dead pigeon, and on
K10 0730  9    the smaller bell, the Clemence, two gray and white
K10 0740  5    birds slept huddled together in the cold winter air.
K10 0750  3       John leaned upon the stone balustrade. He brushed
K10 0760  1    back his black hair, shoving it under his pastor's
K10 0760 10    cap to keep it from blowing in his eyes. Below the
K10 0770  8    moon-splashed world rolled away to insurmountable white
K10 0780  4    peaks; above him the deep blue sky glittered with stars.
K10 0790  3    He stood very still, his arms at his sides, staring
K10 0790 13    up at the heavens, then down at the blinking lights
K10 0800 10    below.
K10 0800 11       "How long, my Lord? How long? I have never asked
K10 0810 10    for an easy task, but I am weary of the strife".
K10 0820  8       Sleep was difficult these days. Indigestion plagued
K10 0830  3    him. Severe headaches were frequent. Loneliness tore
K10 0840  2    through him like a physical pain whenever he thought
K10 0840 11    of Peter Robert, Nerien, Nicholas Cop, Martin Bucer,
K10 0850  7    and even the compromising Louis du Tillet. An occasional
K10 0860  6    traveler from Italy brought news of Peter Robert, who
K10 0870  6    was now distributing his Bible among the Waldensian
K10 0880  2    peasants. Letters came regularly from Nerien, Nicholas,
K10 0890  1    and Martin. He had Anthony and William to confide in
K10 0890 11    and consult. But William continued to find a bitter
K10 0900  8    joy in smashing images and tearing down symbols sacred
K10 0910  5    to the Old Church. John found it difficult, but he
K10 0920  3    held him in check. And Anthony was busy most of the
K10 0920 14    time courting this girl and that. His easy good looks
K10 0930 10    made him a favorite with the ladies.
K10 0940  4       Geneva, instead of becoming the City of God, as
K10 0950  2    John had dreamed, had in the two years since he had
K10 0950 13    been there, continued to be a godless place where all
K10 0960  9    manner of vice flourished. Refugees poured in, signing
K10 0970  5    the Confession and rules in order to remain, and then
K10 0980  3    disregarding them. Dice rolled, prostitutes plied their
K10 0990  1    trade, thieves stole, murderers stabbed, and the ungodly
K10 0990  9    blasphemed. Catholics who were truly Christians longed
K10 1000  7    for the simple penance of days gone by. Libertines
K10 1010  5    recalled the heroism of the past and demanded: "Are
K10 1020  2    we going to allow the Protestant Pope, Master Calvin,
K10 1030  1    to curtail our liberty? **h Why, oh why, doesn't he
K10 1030 11    stick to preaching the Gospel, instead of meddling
K10 1040  6    in civic affairs, politics, economics, and social issues
K10 1050  5    that are no concern of the Church"? And John's reply
K10 1060  4    was always the same: "Anything that affects souls is
K10 1070  3    the concern of the Church! We will have righteousness"!
K10 1080  1       Tears burned behind his eyes as he prayed and meditated
K10 1080 11    tonight. Unless the confusion cleared, he would not
K10 1090  8    be coming here much longer. Monsieur Favre's threat
K10 1100  5    would become a reality, for he continued to proclaim
K10 1110  3    loudly that the city must rid itself of "that Frenchman".
K10 1120  1       The slow tapping of a cane on the stone steps coming
K10 1130  1    up to the tower interrupted his reverie. Faint at first,
K10 1130 11    the tapping grew until it sounded loud against the
K10 1140  8    wind. Eli Corault! John thought. What is he doing here
K10 1150  7    at this hour? He started down the steps to meet the
K10 1160  5    near-blind preacher, who had been one of the early
K10 1160 15    Gospelers in Paris.
K10 1170  3       "John? Is that you? I came to warn you of a plot"!
K10 1180  5       John stood above him, his face ashen. What now?
K10 1190  2    Slowly, like a man grown old, he took Eli's hand and
K10 1190 13    led him below to the tower study, guiding him to a
K10 1200 11    chair beside the little hearth where a fire still burned.
K10 1210  7       "Plot"? John asked tiredly.
K10 1220  2       "Monsieur Favre just paid me a visit. I went to
K10 1230  1    your rooms, and Anthony told me you were here. Two
K10 1230 11    Anabaptists, Caroli and Benoit, are to challenge you
K10 1240  7    and William to a debate before the Council. It is to
K10 1250  6    be a trap. You know the law: if you lose the debate
K10 1260  2    after accepting a challenge, you will be banished"!
K10 1270  1       "What will be the subject"?
K10 1270  6       "You are to be accused of Arianism to confuse the
K10 1280  6    religious who remain loyal".
K10 1280 10       Anger and fear fused in John. Ever since the fourth
K10 1290 10    century a controversy had raged over the person of
K10 1300  7    Christ. Those who refused to believe that He was the
K10 1310  5    eternal Son of God were termed Arianists. Peter Caroli
K10 1320  2    had come to Geneva, saying that he had been a bishop
K10 1320 13    of the Church of Rome and had been persecuted in Paris
K10 1330 10    for his Reformed faith. He asked to be appointed a
K10 1340  7    preacher. But Michael Sept had unmasked him, revealing
K10 1350  3    he had never been a bishop, but was an Anabaptist,
K10 1360  1    afraid to state his faith, because he knew John Calvin
K10 1360 11    had written a book against their belief that the soul
K10 1370  9    slept after death. So John had refused to agree to
K10 1380  6    his appointment as a preacher, and now Caroli sought
K10 1390  2    revenge.
K10 1390  3       John sighed. "If William agrees, we should insist
K10 1400  2    on a public debate", he said at length.
K10 1400 10       "There is more to the conspiracy. Bern demands that
K10 1410  9    the Lord's Supper be administered here as it used to
K10 1420  7    be, with unleavened bread. Furthermore, Bern decrees
K10 1430  3    that we must do as we are ordered by the Council, preach
K10 1440  2    only the word of God and stop meddling in politics"!
K10 1450  1       "It was always the spirit with Christ; matters such
K10 1450 10    as leavened or unleavened bread are inconsequential.
K10 1460  6    Geneva must remain a sovereign state. We will not yield
K10 1470  6    to the demands of Bern"!
K10 1470 11       The firelight played over Eli's flowing white locks
K10 1480  8    and rugged features. "Monsieur Favre indicated that
K10 1490  5    if I would co-operate, after you and William are banished,
K10 1500  5    following the debate, I will be given a place of influence".
K10 1510  4       "What was your reply to that"?
K10 1520  1       "That I would rather be banished with two such Christians
K10 1520 11    than be made the Chief Syndic"!
K10 1530  6    ##
K10 1530  7    The following morning, as John entered the Place Molard
K10 1540  6    on his way to visit a sick refugee, he had a premonition
K10 1550  5    of danger. Then suddenly a group of men and dogs circled
K10 1560  2    him. He wanted to run, but he knew that if he did,
K10 1560 14    he would be lost. He stood very still, his heart thumping
K10 1570 10    wildly. On the outskirts of the rabble the Camaret
K10 1580  6    brothers and Gaspard Favre shook their fists.
K10 1590  2       "Are you going to comply with the demands of Bern"?
K10 1600  1    the chinless Jake called.
K10 1600  5       "Arianist"! a rowdy with a big blob of a nose roared.
K10 1610  8    "Heretic"!
K10 1610  9       John lifted his hand for silence. "Know this: the
K10 1620  8    ministers will not yield to the demands of Bern". His
K10 1630  6    voice shook a little.
K10 1630 10       Somebody heaved a stone. For an instant John was
K10 1640  9    stunned.
K10 1640 10       When he felt the side of his head, his fingers came
K10 1650  9    away covered with blood. Before he could duck, another
K10 1660  5    stone struck him. And another.
K10 1660 10       "Let him be now"! Pierre Ameaux, the gaming-card
K10 1670  9    manufacturer said, his little pig eyes glaring. "We
K10 1680  7    have taught him a lesson".
K10 1690  1       The crowd moved back and John started dizzily down
K10 1690 10    the hill. Fists pummeled him as he staggered forward.
K10 1700  7    Then he slipped and went down on his hands and knees
K10 1710  7    in the melting snow. At once a bevy of dogs was snapping
K10 1720  3    and snarling around him. One, more horrible than the
K10 1730  1    rest, lunged, growling deep in his throat, his hair
K10 1730 10    bristling. With great difficulty John clambered to
K10 1740  5    his feet and started to run, sweat pouring down his
K10 1750  4    face.
K11 0010  1    Standing in the shelter of the tent- a rejected hospital
K11 0010 11    tent on which the rain now dripped, no longer drumming-
K11 0020 10    Adam watched his own hands touch the objects on the
K11 0030  8    improvised counter of boards laid across two beef barrels.
K11 0040  5    There was, of course, no real need to rearrange everything.
K11 0050  2    A quarter inch this way or that for the hardbake, or
K11 0060  1    the toffee, or the barley sugar, or the sardines, or
K11 0060 11    the bitters, or the condensed milk, or the stationery,
K11 0070  7    or the needles- what could it mean? Adam watched his
K11 0080  5    own hands make the caressing, anxious movement that,
K11 0090  2    when rain falls and nobody comes, and ruin draws close
K11 0090 12    like a cat rubbing against the ankles, has been the
K11 0100 10    ritual of stall vendors, forever.
K11 0110  3       He recognized the gesture. He knew its meaning.
K11 0120  1    He had seen a dry, old, yellowing hand reach out, with
K11 0120 12    that painful solicitude, to touch, to rearrange, to
K11 0130  7    shift aimlessly, some object worth a pfennig. Back
K11 0140  5    in Bavaria he had seen that gesture, and at that sight
K11 0150  3    his heart had always died within him. On such occasions
K11 0150 13    he had not had the courage to look at the face above
K11 0160 12    the hand, whatever face it might be.
K11 0170  5       Now the face was his own. He wondered what expression,
K11 0180  2    as he made that gesture, was on his face. He wondered
K11 0180 13    if it wore the old anxiety, or the old, taut stoicism.
K11 0190 11    But there was no need, he remembered, for his hand
K11 0200  7    to reach out, for his face to show concern or stoicism.
K11 0210  4    It was nothing to him if rain fell and nobody came.
K11 0220  1    Then why was he assuming the role- the gesture and
K11 0220 11    the suffering? What was he expiating? Or was he now
K11 0230  9    taking the role- the gesture and the suffering- because
K11 0240  5    it was the only way to affirm his history and identity
K11 0250  4    in the torpid, befogged loneliness of this land.
K11 0260  1       This was Virginia.
K11 0260  4       He looked out of the tent at the company street.
K11 0270  3    The rain dripped on the freezing loblolly of the street.
K11 0280  1    Beyond that misty gray of the rain, he saw the stretching
K11 0280 12    hutment, low diminutive log cabins, chinked with mud,
K11 0290  8    with doorways a man would have to crouch to get through,
K11 0300  7    with roofs of tenting laid over boughs or boards from
K11 0310  4    hardtack boxes, or fence rails, with cranky chimneys
K11 0320  1    of sticks and dried mud. The chimney of the hut across
K11 0320 12    from him was surmounted by a beef barrel with ends
K11 0330  8    knocked out. In this heavy air, however, that device
K11 0340  4    did not seem to help. The smoke from that chimney rose
K11 0350  2    as sluggishly as smoke from any other, and hung as
K11 0350 12    sadly in the drizzle, creeping back down along the
K11 0360  7    sopping canvas of the roof.
K11 0370  1       Over the door was a board with large, inept lettering:
K11 0370 11    HOME SWEET HOME. This was the hut of Simms Purdew,
K11 0380 10    the hero.
K11 0390  1       The men were huddled in those lairs. Adam knew the
K11 0390 11    names of some. He knew the faces of all, hairy or shaven,
K11 0400  9    old or young, fat or thin, suffering or hardened, sad
K11 0410  4    or gay, good or bad. When they stood about his tent,
K11 0420  3    chaffing each other, exchanging their obscenities,
K11 0420  9    cursing command or weather, he had studied their faces.
K11 0430  8    He had had the need to understand what life lurked
K11 0440  5    behind the mask of flesh, behind the oath, the banter,
K11 0450  3    the sadness. Once covertly looking at Simms Purdew,
K11 0450 11    the only man in the world whom he hated, he had seen
K11 0460 12    the heavy, slack, bestubbled jaw open and close to
K11 0470  7    emit the cruel, obscene banter, and had seen the pale-blue
K11 0480  5    eyes go watery with whisky and merriment, and suddenly
K11 0490  1    he was not seeing the face of that vile creature. He
K11 0490 12    was seeing, somehow, the face of a young boy, the boy
K11 0500 10    Simms Purdew must once have been, a boy with sorrel
K11 0510  7    hair, and blue eyes dancing with gaiety, and the boy
K11 0520  4    mouth grinning trustfully among the freckles.
K11 0520 10       In that moment of vision Adam heard the voice within
K11 0530  9    himself saying: I must not hate him, I must not hate
K11 0540  9    him or I shall die.
K11 0550  1       His heart suddenly opened to joy.
K11 0550  6       He thought that if once, only once, he could talk
K11 0560  5    with Simms Purdew, something about his own life, and
K11 0570  2    all life, would be clear and simple. If Simms Purdew
K11 0570 12    would turn to him and say: "Adam, you know when I was
K11 0580 11    a boy, it was a funny thing happened. Lemme tell you
K11 0590  6    now"-
K11 0590  7       If only Simms Purdew could do that, whatever the
K11 0600  7    thing he remembered and told. It would be a sign for
K11 0610  6    the untellable, and he, Adam, would understand.
K11 0620  1       Now, Adam, in the gray light of afternoon, stared
K11 0620 10    across at the hut opposite his tent, and thought of
K11 0630  8    Simms Purdew lying in there in the gloom, snoring on
K11 0640  6    his bunk, with the fumes of whisky choking the air.
K11 0650  2    He saw the sign above the door of the hut: HOME SWEET
K11 0650 14    HOME. He saw the figure of a man in a poncho coming
K11 0660 12    up the company street, with an armful of wood.
K11 0670  6       It was Pullen James, the campmate of Simms Purdew.
K11 0680  4    He carried the wood, carried the water, did the cooking,
K11 0690  2    cleaning and mending, and occasionally got a kick in
K11 0690 11    the butt for his pains. Adam watched the moisture flow
K11 0700  9    from the poncho. It gave the rubberized fabric a dull
K11 0710  7    gleam, like metal. Pullen James humbly lowered his
K11 0720  3    head, pushed aside the hardtack-box door of the hut,
K11 0730  1    and was gone from sight.
K11 0730  6       Adam stared at the door and remembered that Simms
K11 0740  3    Purdew had been awarded the Medal of Honor for gallantry
K11 0750  1    at Antietam.
K11 0750  3       The street was again empty. The drizzle was slacking
K11 0760  2    off now, but the light was grayer. With enormous interest,
K11 0770  1    Adam watched his hands as they touched and shifted
K11 0770 10    the objects on the board directly before him. Into
K11 0780  6    the emptiness of the street, and his spirit, moved
K11 0790  3    a form.
K11 0790  5       The form was swathed in an army blanket, much patched,
K11 0800  3    fastened at the neck with a cord. From under the shapeless
K11 0810  1    huddle of blanket the feet moved in the mud. The feet
K11 0810 12    wore army shoes, in obvious disrepair. The head was
K11 0820  8    wrapped in a turban and on top of the turban rode a
K11 0830  7    great hamper across which a piece of poncho had been
K11 0840  3    flung. The gray face stared straight ahead in the drizzle.
K11 0850  1    Moisture ran down the cheeks, gathered at the tip of
K11 0850 11    the nose, and at the chin. The figure was close enough
K11 0860  8    now for him to see the nose twitching to dislodge the
K11 0870  4    drop clinging there. The figure stopped and one hand
K11 0880  2    was perilously freed from the hamper to scratch the
K11 0880 11    nose. Then the figure moved on.
K11 0890  5       This was one of the Irish women who had built their
K11 0900  3    own huts down near the river. They did washing. Adam
K11 0900 13    recognized this one. He recognized her because she
K11 0910  8    was the one who, in a winter twilight, on the edge
K11 0920  7    of camp, had once stopped him and reached down her
K11 0930  3    hand to touch his fly. "Slice o' mutton, bhoy"? she
K11 0940  2    had queried in her soft guttural. "Slice o' mutton"?
K11 0950  1       Her name was Mollie. They called her Mollie the
K11 0950 10    Mutton, and laughed. Looking down the street after
K11 0960  6    her, Adam saw that she had again stopped and again
K11 0970  4    removed one hand from the basket. He could not make
K11 0980  1    out, but he knew that again she was scratching her
K11 0980 11    nose. Mollie the Mutton was scratching her nose.
K11 0990  6       The words ran crazily in his head: Mollie the Mutton
K11 1000  5    is scratching her nose in the rain.
K11 1010  1       Then the words fell into a pattern: "Mollie the
K11 1010 10    Mutton is scratching her nose, Scratching her nose
K11 1020  8    in the rain. Mollie the Mutton is scratching her nose
K11 1030  6    in the rain".
K11 1040  1       The pattern would not stop. It came again and again.
K11 1050  4    He felt trapped in that pattern, in the repetition.
K11 1060  1       Suddenly he thought he might weep. "What's the matter
K11 1060 10    with me"? he demanded out loud. He looked wildly around,
K11 1070 10    at the now empty street, at the mud, at the rain. "Oh,
K11 1080 10    what's the matter with me"? he demanded.
K11 1090  4    ##
K11 1090  5    When he had stored his stock in the great oak chest,
K11 1100  3    locked the two big hasps and secured the additional
K11 1100 12    chain, tied the fly of the tent, and picked up the
K11 1110 11    cash box, he moved up the darkening street. He would
K11 1120  6    consign the cash box into the hands of Jed Hawksworth,
K11 1130  3    then stand by while his employer checked the contents
K11 1140  1    and the list of items sold. Then he-
K11 1140  9       Then what? He did not know. His mind closed on that
K11 1150  8    prospect, as though fog had descended to blot out a
K11 1160  5    valley.
K11 1160  6       Far off, in the dusk, he heard voices singing, muffled
K11 1170  3    but strong. In one of the huts a group of men were
K11 1180  1    huddled together, singing. He stopped. He strained
K11 1180  8    to hear. He heard the words: "Rock of Ages, cleft for
K11 1190  8    me, Let me hide myself in Thee! Let the water and the
K11 1200 10    blood From Thy riven side **h"
K11 1210  3       He thought: I am a Jew from Bavaria.
K11 1220  2       He was standing there, he thought, in Virginia,
K11 1230  1    in the thickening dusk, in a costly greatcoat that
K11 1230 10    had belonged to another Jew. That other Jew, a young
K11 1240  7    man too, had left that greatcoat behind, in a rich
K11 1250  5    house, and marched away. He had crossed the river which
K11 1260  1    now, beyond the woods yonder, was sliding darkly under
K11 1260 10    the mist. He had plunged into the dark woods beyond.
K11 1270  9    He had died there.
K11 1280  1       What had that man, that other young Jew, felt as
K11 1280 10    he stood in the twilight and heard other men, far away,
K11 1290  7    singing together?.
K11 1290  9       Adam thought of the hutments, regiment after regiment,
K11 1300  8    row after row, the thousands of huts, stretching away
K11 1310  6    into the night. He thought of the men, the nameless
K11 1320  4    thousands, huddling in them. He thought of Simms Purdew
K11 1330  2    snoring on his bunk while Pullen James crouched by
K11 1330 11    the hearth, skirmishing an undershirt for lice, and
K11 1340  7    a wet log sizzled. He thought of Simms Purdew, who
K11 1350  5    once had risen at the edge of a cornfield, a maniacal
K11 1370  2    scream on his lips, and swung a clubbed musket like
K11 1370 12    a flail to beat down the swirl of Rebel bayonets about
K11 1380 10    him.
K11 1380 11       He thought of Simms Purdew rising up, fearless in
K11 1390  8    glory. He felt the sweetness of pity flood through
K11 1400  5    him, veining his very flesh. Those men, lying in the
K11 1410  3    huts, they did not know. They did not know who they
K11 1410 14    were or know their own worth. In the pity for them
K11 1420 10    his loneliness was gone.
K11 1430  1       Then he thought of Aaron Blaustein standing in his
K11 1430 10    rich house saying: "God is tired of taking the blame.
K11 1440  9    He is going to let History take the blame for a while".
K11 1450  8       He thought of the old man laughing under the glitter
K11 1460  6    of the great chandelier.
K11 1460 10       He thought: Only in my heart can I make the world
K11 1470 10    hang together.
K11 1480  1    ##
K11 1480  1    Adam rose from the crouch necessary to enter the hut.
K11 1480 11    He saw Mose squatting by the hearth, breaking up hardtack
K11 1490  8    into a pan. A pot was boiling on the coals. "Done give
K11 1500  7    Ole Buckra all his money"? Mose asked softly.
K11 1510  4       Adam nodded.
K11 1510  6       "Yeah", Mose murmured, "yeah. And look what he done
K11 1520  7    give us".
K11 1520  9       Adam looked at the pot. "What is it"? he asked.
K11 1530  9       "Chicken", Mose said, and theatrically licked his
K11 1540  6    lips. "Gre't big fat chicken, yeah". He licked his
K11 1550  5    lips again.
K11 1550  7       Then: "Yeah. A chicken with six tits and a tail
K11 1560  7    lak a corkscrew. And hit squealed for slop". Mose giggled.
K11 1570  4    "Fooled you, huh? It is the same ole same, tell me
K11 1580  3    hit's name. It is sowbelly with tits on. It is salt
K11 1580 14    po'k. It is salt po'k and skippers. That po'k, it was
K11 1590 11    so full of skippers it would jump and run and not come
K11 1600 10    when you say, 'Hoo-pig'. Had to put my foot on it to
K11 1610  9    hole it down while I cut it up fer the lob-scuse".
K11 1620  4       He dumped the pan of crumbled hardtack into the
K11 1630  2    boiling pot of lobscouse. "Good ole lob-scuse", he
K11 1630 11    mumbled, and stirred the pot. He stopped stirring and
K11 1640  9    looked over his shoulder. "Know what Ole Buckra et
K11 1650  6    tonight"? he demanded. "Know what I had to fix fer
K11 1660  6    Ole Him"?
K11 1660  8       Adam shook his head.
K11 1670  1       "Chicken", Mose said.
K12 0010  1    She was a child too much a part of her environment,
K12 0010 12    too eager to grow and learn and experience. Once, they
K12 0020  7    were at Easthampton for the summer (again, Fritzie
K12 0030  3    said, a good place, even though they were being robbed).
K12 0040  1    One soft evening- that marvelous sea-blessed time when
K12 0040 10    the sun's departing warmth lingers and a smell of spume
K12 0050 10    and wrack haunts everything- Amy had picked herself
K12 0060  5    off the floor and begun to walk. Fritzie was on the
K12 0070  5    couch reading; Laura was sitting in an easy chair about
K12 0080  2    eight feet away. The infant, in white terry-cloth bathrobe,
K12 0090  1    her face intense and purposeful, had essayed a few
K12 0090 10    wobbly steps toward her father. "Y'all wanna walk-
K12 0100  6    walk", he said. Then, gently, he shoved her behind
K12 0110  5    toward Laura. Amy walked- making it halfway across
K12 0120  2    the cottage floor. She lost not a second, picking herself
K12 0120 12    up and continuing her pilgrimage to Laura. Then Laura
K12 0130  9    took her gently and shoved her off again, toward Fritzie:
K12 0140  8    Amy did not laugh- this was work, concentration, achievement.
K12 0150  5    In a few minutes she was making the ten-foot hike unaided;
K12 0160  6    soon she was parading around the house, flaunting her
K12 0170  3    new skill.
K12 0170  5       Some liar's logic, a wisp of optimism as fragile
K12 0180  3    as the scent of tropical blossoms that came through
K12 0180 12    the window (a euphoria perhaps engendered by the pill
K12 0190  9    Fritzie had given her), consoled her for a moment.
K12 0200  7    Amy had to be safe, had to come back to them- if only
K12 0210  7    to reap that share of life's experiences that were
K12 0220  3    her due, if only to give her parents another chance
K12 0220 13    to do better by her. Through the swathings of terror,
K12 0230  9    she jabbed deceit's sharp point- Amy would be reborn,
K12 0240  7    a new child, with new parents, living under new circumstances.
K12 0250  5    The comfort was short-lived, yet she found herself
K12 0260  3    returning to the assurance whenever her imagination
K12 0260 10    forced images on her too awful to contemplate without
K12 0270  9    the prop of illusion. Gazing at her husband's drugged
K12 0280  1    body, his chest rising and falling in mindless rhythms,
K12 0290  2    she saw the grandeur of his fictional world, that lush
K12 0300  1    garden from which he plucked flowers and herbs. She
K12 0300 10    envied him. She admired him.
K12 0310  3       In the darkness, she saw him stirring. He seemed
K12 0320  1    to be muttering, his voice surprisingly clear. "Y'all
K12 0320  9    should have let me take that money out", Andrus said.
K12 0330  9    "'Nother minute I'd have been fine. Y'all should have
K12 0340  3    let me do it".
K12 0340  7       Laura touched his hand. "Yes, I know, Fritzie. I
K12 0350  8    should have".
K12 0350 10    #TUESDAY#
K12 0360  1    The heat intensified on Tuesday. Southern California
K12 0360  8    gasped and blinked under an autumn hot spell, drier,
K12 0370  9    more enervating, more laden with man's contrived impurities
K12 0380  6    than the worst days of the summer past. It could continue
K12 0390  5    this way, hitting 106 and more in the Valley, Joe McFeeley
K12 0400  3    knew, into October. He and Irvin Moll were sipping
K12 0410  1    coffee at the breakfast bar. Both had been up since
K12 0410 11    7:00- Irv on the early-morning watch, McFeeley unable
K12 0420  8    to sleep during his four-hour relief. The night before,
K12 0430  5    they had telephoned the Andrus maid, Selena Masters,
K12 0440  3    and she had arrived early, bursting her vigorous presence
K12 0450  2    into the silent house with an assurance that amused
K12 0450 11    McFeeley and confounded Moll. The latter, thanking
K12 0460  7    her for the coffee, had winked and muttered, "Sure
K12 0470  5    'nuff, honey". Selena was the wrong woman for these
K12 0480  4    crudities. With a hard eye, she informed Moll: "Don't
K12 0490  1    sure 'nuff me, officer. I'm honey only to my husband,
K12 0500  1    understand"? Sergeant Moll understood. The maid was
K12 0500  8    very black and very energetic, trim in a yellow pique
K12 0510 10    uniform. Her speech was barren of southernisms; she
K12 0520  6    was one of Eliot Sparling's neutralized minorities,
K12 0530  2    adopting the rolling ~R's and constricted vowels of
K12 0540  3    Los Angeles. Not seeing her dark intelligent face,
K12 0540 11    one would have gauged the voice as that of a Westwood
K12 0550 11    Village matron, ten years out of Iowa. After she had
K12 0560  8    served the detectives coffee and toast (they politely
K12 0570  4    declined eggs, uncomfortable about their tenancy),
K12 0580  1    she settled down with a morning newspaper and began
K12 0580 10    reading the stock market quotations. While she was
K12 0590  6    thus engaged, McFeeley questioned her about her whereabouts
K12 0600  5    the previous day, any recollections she had of people
K12 0610  4    hanging around, of overcurious delivery boys or repairmen,
K12 0620  1    of strange cars cruising the neighborhood. She answered
K12 0620  9    him precisely, missing not a beat in her scrutiny of
K12 0630  9    the financial reports. Selena Masters, Joe realized,
K12 0640  4    was her own woman. She was the only kind of Negro Laura
K12 0650  4    Andrus would want around: independent, unservile, probably
K12 0660  2    charging double what ordinary maids did for housework-
K12 0660 10    and doubly efficient.
K12 0670  3       When the parents emerged from the bedroom a few
K12 0680  3    minutes later, the maid greeted them quietly. "I'm
K12 0680 11    awful sorry about what's happened", Selena said. "Maybe
K12 0690  7    today'll be a good-news day". She charged off to the
K12 0700 10    bedrooms.
K12 0700 11       Moll took his coffee into the nursery. During the
K12 0710  6    night, a phone company technician had deadened the
K12 0720  4    bells and installed red blinkers on the phones. Someone
K12 0730  1    would have to remain in the office continually. McFeeley
K12 0730 10    greeted the parents, then studied his notebook. He
K12 0740  8    wanted to take the mother to headquarters at once and
K12 0750  6    start her on the mug file.
K12 0750 12       "Sleep well"? he asked.
K12 0760  4       Andrus did not answer him. His face was bloated
K12 0770  2    with drugging, redder than normal. The woman had the
K12 0770 11    glassy look of an invalid, as if she had not slept
K12 0780 11    at all. "Oh- we managed", she said. "I'm a little groggy.
K12 0790  7    Did anything happen during the night"?
K12 0800  3       "Few crank calls", McFeeley said. "A couple of tips
K12 0810  4    we're running down- nothing promising. We can expect
K12 0820  2    more of the same. Too bad your number is in the directory".
K12 0830  1       "Didn't occur to me my child would be kidnaped when
K12 0830 11    I had it listed", Andrus muttered. He settled on the
K12 0840  9    sofa with his coffee, warming his hands on the cup,
K12 0850  7    although the room was heavy with heat.
K12 0860  1       The three had little to say to each other. The previous
K12 0860 12    night's horror- the absolute failure, overcast with
K12 0870  6    the intrusions of the press, had left them all with
K12 0880  8    a wan sense of uselessness, of play-acting. Sipping
K12 0890  2    their coffee, discussing the weather, the day's shopping,
K12 0900  1    Fritzie's commitments at the network (all of which
K12 0900  9    he would cancel), they avoided the radio, the morning
K12 0910  8    ~TV news show, even the front page of the Santa Luisa
K12 0920  8    Register, resting on the kitchen bar. KIDNAPER SPURNS
K12 0930  4    RANSOM; AMY STILL MISSING. Once, Andrus walked by it,
K12 0940  5    hastily scanned the bold black headline and the five-column
K12 0950  4    lead of the article (by Duane Bosch, staff correspondent-
K12 0960  3    age not given), and muttered: "We a buncha national
K12 0960 12    celebrities".
K12 0970  1       McFeeley told the parents he would escort them to
K12 0980  1    police headquarters in a half hour. Before that, he
K12 0980 10    wanted to talk to the neighbors. He did not want to
K12 0990  8    bring the Andruses to the station house too early-
K12 1000  4    Rheinholdt had summoned a press conference, and he
K12 1010  1    didn't want them subjected to the reporters again.
K12 1010  9    He could think of nothing else to tell them: no assurances,
K12 1020  9    no hopeful hints at great discoveries that day. When
K12 1030  5    the detective left, Andrus phoned his secretary to
K12 1040  3    cancel his work and to advise the network to get a
K12 1040 14    substitute director for his current project. Mrs& Andrus
K12 1050  8    was talking to the maid, arranging for her to come
K12 1060  7    in every day, instead of the four days she now worked.
K12 1070  4       Outside, only a handful of reporters remained. The
K12 1080  2    bulk of the press corps was covering Rheinholdt's conference.
K12 1090  1    In contrast to the caravan of the previous night, there
K12 1090 11    were only four cars parked across the street. Two men
K12 1100  9    he did not recognize were sipping coffee and munching
K12 1110  5    sweet rolls. He did not see Sparling, or DeGroot, or
K12 1120  3    Ringel, or any of the feverish crew that had so harassed
K12 1130  1    him twelve hours ago. However, the litter remained,
K12 1130  9    augmented by several dozen lunchroom suppers. The street
K12 1140  7    cleaner had not yet been around.
K12 1150  2       One of the reporters called to him: "Anything new,
K12 1160  1    Lieutenant"? And he ignored him, skirting the parked
K12 1160  9    cars and walking up the path to the Skopas house. When
K12 1170 10    McFeeley was halfway to the door, the proprietor emerged-
K12 1180  7    a mountainous, dark man, his head thick with resiny
K12 1190  5    black hair, his eyes like two of the black olives he
K12 1200  2    imported in boatloads. McFeeley identified himself.
K12 1200  8    The master of the house, his nourished face unrevealing,
K12 1210  8    consented to postpone his departure a few minutes to
K12 1220  7    talk to the detective.
K12 1220 11       Inside, as soon as Mr& Skopas had disclosed- in
K12 1230  9    a hoarse whisper- the detective's errand, his family
K12 1240  5    gathered in a huddle, forming a mass of dark flesh
K12 1250  4    on and around a brocaded sofa which stood at one side
K12 1250 15    of a baroque fireplace. Flanked by marble urns and
K12 1260  9    alabaster lamps, they seemed to be posing for a tribal
K12 1270  8    portrait.
K12 1270  9       It was amazing how they had herded together for
K12 1280  6    protection: an enormous matriarch in a quilted silk
K12 1290  4    wrapper, rising from the breakfast table; a gross boy
K12 1300  1    in his teens, shuffling in from the kitchen with a
K12 1300 11    sandwich in his hands; a girl in her twenties, fat
K12 1310  7    and sullen, descending the marble staircase; then all
K12 1320  3    four gathering on the sofa to face the inquisitor.
K12 1330  1       They answered him in monosyllables, nods, occasionally
K12 1330  8    muttering in Greek to one another, awaiting the word
K12 1340  9    from Papa, who restlessly cracked his knuckles, anxious
K12 1350  5    to stuff himself into his white Cadillac and burst
K12 1360  3    off to the freeway. No, they hadn't seen anyone around;
K12 1370  1    no, they didn't know the Andrus family; yes, they had
K12 1370 11    read about the case; yes, they had let some reporters
K12 1380 10    use their phone, but they would no longer. They offered
K12 1390  8    no opinions, volunteered nothing, betrayed no emotions.
K12 1400  4    Studying them, McFeeley could not help make comparison
K12 1410  2    with the Andrus couple. The Skopas people seemed to
K12 1410 11    him of that breed of human beings whose insularity
K12 1420  9    frees them from tragedy. He imagined they were the
K12 1430  6    kind whose tax returns were never examined (if they
K12 1440  3    were, they were never penalized), whose children had
K12 1440 11    no unhappy romances, whose names never knew scandal.
K12 1450  8    The equation was simple: wealth brought them happiness,
K12 1470  5    and their united front to the world was their warning
K12 1480  4    that they meant to keep everything they had, let no
K12 1490  2    one in on the secrets. By comparison, Fritzie and Laura
K12 1490 12    Andrus were quivering fledglings. They possessed no
K12 1500  7    outer fortifications, no hard shells of confidence;
K12 1510  5    they had enough difficulty getting from day to day,
K12 1520  4    let alone having an awful crime thrust upon them. Skopas
K12 1530  1    expressed no curiosity over the case, offered no expression
K12 1530 10    of sympathy, made no move to escort McFeeley to the
K12 1540  9    door. All four remained impacted on the sofa until
K12 1550  6    he had left.
K12 1550  9       He had spoken to Mrs& Emerson the previous day.
K12 1560  5    There remained a family named Kahler, owners of a two-story
K12 1570  6    Tudor-style house on the south side of the Andrus home.
K12 1580  2    Their names had not come up in any discussions with
K12 1580 12    Laura, and he had no idea what they would be like.
K12 1590 11    McFeeley noted the immaculate lawn and gardens: each
K12 1600  5    blade of grass cropped, bright and firm; each shrub
K12 1610  3    glazed with good health.
K12 1610  7       The door was answered by a slender man in his sixties-
K12 1620  8    straight-backed, somewhat clerical in manner, wearing
K12 1630  4    rimless glasses. When Joe identified himself, he nodded,
K12 1640  2    unsmiling, and ushered him into a sedate living room.
K12 1640 11    Mrs& Kahler joined them. She had a dried-out quality-
K12 1650 10    a gray, lean woman, not unattractive. Both were dressed
K12 1660  6    rather formally. The man wore a vest and a tie, the
K12 1670  7    woman had on a dark green dress and three strands of
K12 1680  2    pearls.
K12 1680  3       "Funny thing", Mr& Kahler said, when they were seated,
K12 1690  3    "when I heard you ringing, I figured it was that guy
K12 1700  1    down the block, Hausman". McFeeley looked puzzled.
K12 1700  8    Kahler continued: "I fixed his dog the other day and
K12 1710  9    I guess he's sore, so I expected him to come barging
K12 1720  8    in". Mr& Kahler went on to explain how Hausman's fox
K12 1730  4    terrier had been "making" in his flower beds. The dog
K12 1740  4    refused to be scared off, so Kahler had purchased some
K12 1750  1    small firecrackers. He would lay in wait in the garage,
K12 1750 11    and when the terrier came scratching around, he'd let
K12 1760  7    fly with a cherry bomb. "Scared the hell out of him",
K12 1770  6    Kahler grinned. "I hit him in the ass once". Both grinned
K12 1780  5    at the detective. "Finally, all I needed was to throw
K12 1790  4    a little piece of red wood that looked like a firecracker
K12 1800  1    and that dumb dog would run ki-yi-ing for his life".
K13 0010  1    In the dim underwater light they dressed and straightened
K13 0010 10    up the room, and then they went across the hall to
K13 0020  9    the kitchen. She was intimidated by the stove. He found
K13 0030  6    the pilot light and turned on one of the burners for
K13 0040  2    her. The gas flamed up two inches high. They found
K13 0040 12    the teakettle and put water on to boil and then searched
K13 0050 10    through the icebox. Several sections of a loaf of dark
K13 0060  8    bread; butter; jam; a tiny cake of ice. In their search
K13 0070  7    for what turned out to be the right breakfast china
K13 0080  2    but the wrong table silver, they opened every cupboard
K13 0080 11    door in the kitchen and pantry. While she was settling
K13 0090 10    the teacart, he went back across the hall to their
K13 0100  7    bedroom, opened one of the suitcases, and took out
K13 0110  4    powdered coffee and sugar. She appeared with the teacart
K13 0120  1    and he opened the windows.
K13 0120  6       "Do you want to call Eugene"?
K13 0130  1       He didn't, but it was not really a question, and
K13 0130 11    so he left the room, walked down the hall to the front
K13 0140 11    of the apartment, hesitated, and then knocked lightly
K13 0150  5    on the closed door of the study. A sleepy voice answered.
K13 0160  3       "Le petit dejeuner", Harold said, in an accent that
K13 0170  4    did credit to Miss Sloan, his high-school French teacher.
K13 0180  1    At the same time, his voice betrayed uncertainty about
K13 0180 10    their being here, and conveyed an appeal to whatever
K13 0190  9    is reasonable, peace-loving, and dependable in everybody.
K13 0200  5       Since ordinary breakfast-table conversation was
K13 0210  3    impossible, it was at least something that they were
K13 0220  1    able to offer Eugene the sugar bowl with their sugar
K13 0220 11    in it, and the plate of bread and butter, and that
K13 0230  8    Eugene could return the pitcher of hot milk to them
K13 0240  6    handle first. Eugene put a spoonful of powdered coffee
K13 0250  2    into his cup and then filled it with hot water. Stirring,
K13 0250 13    he said: "I am sorry that my work prevents me from
K13 0260 11    doing anything with you today".
K13 0270  3       They assured him that they did not expect or need
K13 0280  2    to be entertained.
K13 0280  5       Harold put a teaspoonful of powdered coffee in his
K13 0290  2    cup and filled it with hot water, and then, stirring,
K13 0290 12    he sat back in his chair. The chair creaked. Every
K13 0300  8    time he moved or said something, the chair creaked
K13 0310  4    again.
K13 0310  5       Eugene was not entirely silent, or openly rude-
K13 0320  4    unless asking Harold to move to another chair and placing
K13 0330  2    himself in the fauteuil that creaked so alarmingly
K13 0330 10    was an act of rudeness. It went right on creaking under
K13 0340  9    his own considerable weight, and all it needed, Harold
K13 0350  6    thought, was for somebody to fling himself back in
K13 0360  3    a fit of laughter and that would be the end of it.
K13 0370  1       Through the open window they heard sounds below
K13 0370  8    in the street: cartwheels, a tired horse's plodding
K13 0380  5    step, voices. Harold indicated the photograph on the
K13 0390  4    wall and asked what church the stone sculpture was
K13 0400  1    in. Eugene told him and he promptly forgot. They passed
K13 0400 11    the marmalade, the bread, the black-market butter,
K13 0410  7    back and forth. Nothing was said about hotels or train
K13 0420  5    journeys.
K13 0420  6       Eugene offered Harold his car, to use at any time
K13 0430  7    he cared to, and when this offer was not accepted,
K13 0440  1    the armchair creaked. They all three had another cup
K13 0440 10    of coffee. Eugene was in his pajamas and dressing gown,
K13 0450  9    and on his large feet he wore yellow Turkish slippers
K13 0460  5    that turned up at the toes.
K13 0460 11       "Ex-cuse me", he said in Berlitz English, and got
K13 0470  9    up and left them, to bathe and dress.
K13 0480  5       The first shrill ring of the telephone brought Harold
K13 0490  2    out into the hall. He realized that he had no idea
K13 0490 13    where the telephone was. At that moment the bathroom
K13 0500  9    door flew open and Eugene came out, with his face lathered
K13 0510  8    for shaving, and strode down the hall, tying the sash
K13 0520  6    of his dressing gown as he went. The telephone was
K13 0530  2    in the study but the ringing came from the hall. Between
K13 0530 13    the telephone and the wall plug there was sixty feet
K13 0540  9    of cord, and when the conversation came to an end,
K13 0550  6    Eugene carried the instrument with him the whole length
K13 0560  3    of the apartment, to his bathroom, where it rang three
K13 0570  1    more times while he was shaving and in the tub. Before
K13 0570 12    he left the apartment he knocked on their door and
K13 0580  7    asked if there was anything he could do for them. Harold
K13 0590  5    shook his head.
K13 0590  8       "Sabine called a few minutes ago", Eugene said.
K13 0600  5    "She wants you and Barbara to have dinner with her
K13 0610  4    tomorrow night".
K13 0610  6       He handed Harold a key to the front door, and cautioned
K13 0620  6    him against leaving it unlocked while they were out
K13 0630  4    of the apartment.
K13 0630  7       When enough time had elapsed so that there was little
K13 0640  5    likelihood of his returning for something he had forgotten,
K13 0650  2    Harold went out into the hall and stood looking into
K13 0650 12    one room after another. In the room next to theirs
K13 0660 10    was a huge cradle, of mahogany, ornately carved and
K13 0670  5    decorated with gold leaf. It was the most important-looking
K13 0680  4    cradle he had ever seen. Then came their bathroom,
K13 0690  1    and then a bedroom that, judging by the photographs
K13 0690 10    on the walls, must belong to ~Mme Cestre. A young woman
K13 0700  9    who looked like Alix, with her two children. Alix and
K13 0710  7    Eugene on their wedding day. Matching photographs in
K13 0720  3    oval frames of ~Mme Bonenfant and an elderly man who
K13 0730  2    must be Alix's grandfather. ~Mme Vienot, considerably
K13 0730  9    younger and very different. The schoolboy. And a gray-haired
K13 0740 10    man whose glance- direct, lifelike, and mildly accusing-
K13 0750  6    was contradicted by the gilt and black frame. It was
K13 0760  8    the kind of frame that is only put around the photograph
K13 0770  4    of a dead person. Professor Cestre, could it be?
K13 0780  2       With the metal shutters closed, the dining room
K13 0780 10    was so dark that it seemed still night in there. One
K13 0790  9    of the drawing-room shutters was partly open and he
K13 0800  6    made out the shapes of chairs and sofas, which seemed
K13 0810  2    to be upholstered in brown or russet velvet. The curtains
K13 0820  1    were of the same material, and there were some big
K13 0820 11    oil paintings- portraits in the style of Lancret and
K13 0830  7    Boucher.
K13 0830  8       Though, taken individually, the big rooms were,
K13 0840  6    or seemed to be, square, the apartment as a whole formed
K13 0850  5    a triangle. The apex, the study where Eugene slept,
K13 0860  1    was light and bright and airy and cheerful. The window
K13 0860 11    looked out on the Place Redoute- it was the only window
K13 0870 10    of the apartment that did. Looking around slowly, he
K13 0880  6    saw a marble fireplace, a desk, a low bookcase of mahogany
K13 0890  4    with criss-crossed brass wire instead of glass panes
K13 0900  2    in the doors. The daybed Eugene had slept in, made
K13 0900 12    up now with its dark-brown velours cover and pillows.
K13 0910  8    The portable record player with a pile of classical
K13 0920  6    records beside it. Beethoven's Fifth was the one on
K13 0930  4    top. Da-da-da-dum **h Music could not be Eugene's passion.
K13 0940  1    Besides, the records were dusty. He tried the doors
K13 0940 10    of the bookcase. Locked. The titles he could read easily
K13 0950  8    through the criss-crossed wires: works on theology,
K13 0960  5    astral physics, history, biology, political science.
K13 0970  2    No poetry. No novels. He moved over to the desk and
K13 0980  1    stood looking at the papers on it but not touching
K13 0980 11    anything. The clock on the mantel piece was scandalized
K13 0990  7    and ticked so loudly that he glanced at it over his
K13 1000  5    shoulder and then quickly left the room.
K13 1000 12    #@#
K13 1010  1    THE CONCIERGE CALLED OUT to them as they were passing
K13 1010 11    through the foyer. Her quarters were on the right as
K13 1020  8    you walked into the building, and her small front room
K13 1030  5    was clogged with heavy furniture- a big, round, oak
K13 1040  2    dining table and chairs, a buffet, with a row of unclaimed
K13 1040 13    letters inserted between the mirror and its frame.
K13 1050  8    The suitcases had come while they were out, and had
K13 1060  7    been put in their room, the concierge said.
K13 1070  1       He waited until they were inside the elevator and
K13 1070 10    then said: "Now what do we do"?
K13 1080  6       "Call the Vouillemont, I guess".
K13 1090  2       "I guess".
K13 1090  4       Rather than sit around waiting for the suitcases
K13 1100  4    to be delivered, they had gone sight-seeing. They went
K13 1110  2    to the Flea Market, expecting to find the treasures
K13 1110 11    of Europe, and found instead a duplication of that
K13 1120  8    long double row of booths in Tours. Cheap clothing
K13 1130  4    and junk of every sort, as far as the eye could see.
K13 1140  2    They looked, even so. Looked at everything. Barbara
K13 1140 10    bought some cotton aprons, and Harold bought shoestrings.
K13 1150  8    They had lunch at a sidewalk cafe overlooking the intersection
K13 1160  8    of two broad, busy, unpicturesque streets, and coming
K13 1170  5    home they got lost in the Metro; it took them over
K13 1180  5    an hour to get back to the station where they should
K13 1190  1    have changed, in order to take the line that went to
K13 1190 12    the Place Redoute. It was the end of the afternoon
K13 1200  8    when he took the huge key out of his pocket and inserted
K13 1210  5    it into the keyhole. When he opened the door, there
K13 1220  2    stood Eugene, on his way out of the apartment. He was
K13 1220 13    wearing sneakers and shorts and an open-collared shirt,
K13 1230  9    and in his hand he carried a little black bag. He did
K13 1240  7    not explain where he was going, and they did not ask.
K13 1250  5    Instead, they went on down the hall to their room.
K13 1260  1       "Do you think he could be having an affair"? Barbara
K13 1260 11    asked, as they heard the front door close.
K13 1270  8       "Oh no", Harold said, shocked.
K13 1280  3       "Well, this is France, after all".
K13 1290  1       "I know, but there must be some other explanation.
K13 1290  9    He's probably spending the evening with friends".
K13 1300  6       "And for that he needs a little bag"?
K13 1310  4       They went shopping in the neighborhood, and bought
K13 1320  3    two loaves of bread with the ration coupons they had
K13 1320 13    been given in Blois, and some cheese, and a dozen eggs,
K13 1330 10    and a bag of oranges from a peddler in the Place Redoute-
K13 1340  8    the first oranges they had seen since they landed.
K13 1350  5    They had Vermouth, sitting in front of a cafe. When
K13 1360  2    they got home Harold was grateful for the stillness
K13 1360 11    in the apartment, and thought how, under different
K13 1370  6    circumstances, they might have stayed on here, in these
K13 1380  6    old-fashioned, high-ceilinged rooms that reminded him
K13 1390  3    of the Irelands' apartment in the East Eighties. They
K13 1400  1    could have been perfectly happy here for ten whole
K13 1400 10    days.
K13 1400 11       He went down the hall to Eugene's bathroom, to turn
K13 1410 10    on the hot-water heater, and on the side of the tub
K13 1420  9    he saw a pair of blue wool swimming trunks. He felt
K13 1430  4    them. They were damp. He reached out and felt the bath
K13 1440  2    towel hanging on the towel rack over the tub. Damp
K13 1440 12    also. He looked around the room and then called out:
K13 1450  8    "Come here, quick"?
K13 1460  1       "What is it"? Barbara asked, standing in the doorway.
K13 1460 10    "I've solved the mystery of the little bag. There it
K13 1470 10    is **h and there is what was in it. But where do people
K13 1480 10    go swimming in Paris? That boat in the river, maybe".
K13 1490  7       "What boat"?
K13 1500  1       "There's a big boat anchored near the Place de la
K13 1500 10    Concorde, with a swimming pool in it- didn't you notice
K13 1510  9    it? But if he has time to go swimming, he had time
K13 1520  7    to be with us".
K13 1520 11       She looked at him in surprise.
K13 1530  4       "I know", he said, reading her mind.
K13 1540  1       "I don't know what I'm going to do with you".
K13 1540 11       "It's because we are in France", he said, "and know
K13 1550 10    so few people. So something like this matters more
K13 1560  7    than it would at home. Also, he was so nice when he
K13 1570  7    was nice".
K13 1570  9       "All because I didn't feel like dancing".
K13 1580  4       "I don't think it was that, really".
K13 1590  1       "Then what was it"?
K13 1590  5       "I don't know. I wish I did. The tweed coat, maybe.
K13 1600  8    The thing about Eugene is that he's very proud".
K13 1610  4       And the thing about hurt feelings, the wet bathing
K13 1620  3    suit pointed out, is that the person who has them is
K13 1620 14    not quite the innocent party he believes himself to
K13 1630  8    be. For instance- what about all those people Harold
K13 1640  6    Rhodes went toward unhesitatingly, as if this were
K13 1650  5    the one moment they would ever have together, their
K13 1650 14    one chance of knowing each other?
K13 1660  6       Fortunately, the embarrassing questions raised by
K13 1670  4    objects do not need to be answered, or we would all
K13 1680  2    have to go sleep in the open fields. And in any case,
K13 1680 14    answers may clarify but they do not change anything.
K14 0010  1    **h he brought with him a mixture of myrrh and aloes,
K14 0010 12    of about a hundred pounds' weight. They took Jesus's
K14 0020  6    body, then, and wrapped it in winding-clothes with
K14 0030  5    the spices; that is how the Jews prepare a body for
K14 0040  3    burial.
K14 0040  4       Listed as present at the Descent were Mary, Mary's
K14 0050  2    sister, Mary Magdalene, John, Joseph of Arimathea,
K14 0050  9    Nicodemus. Search as he might, he could find no place
K14 0060 10    where the Bible spoke of a moment when Mary could have
K14 0070  9    been alone with Jesus. Mostly the scene was crowded
K14 0080  5    with mourners, such as the dramatic Dell'Arca Lamentation
K14 0090  2    in Bologna, where the grief-stricken spectators had
K14 0100  1    usurped Mary's last poignant moment.
K14 0100  6       In his concept there could be no one else present.
K14 0110  6       His first desire was to create a mother and son
K14 0120  4    alone in the universe. When might Mary have had that
K14 0130  1    moment to hold her child on her lap? Perhaps after
K14 0130 11    the soldiers had laid him on the ground, while Joseph
K14 0140  8    of Arimathea was at Pontius Pilate's asking for Christ's
K14 0150  4    body, Nicodemus was gathering his mixture of myrrh
K14 0160  3    and aloes, and the others had gone home to mourn. Those
K14 0170  1    who saw his finished Pieta would take the place of
K14 0170 11    the biblical witnesses. They would feel what Mary was
K14 0180  7    undergoing. There would be no halos, no angels. These
K14 0190  5    would be two human beings, whom God had chosen.
K14 0200  1       He felt close to Mary, having spent so long concentrating
K14 0210  1    on the beginning of her journey. Now she was intensely
K14 0210 11    alive, anguished; her son was dead. Even though he
K14 0220  8    would later be resurrected, he was at this moment dead
K14 0230  7    indeed, the expression on his face reflecting what
K14 0240  2    he had gone through on the cross. In his sculpture
K14 0240 12    therefore it would not be possible for him to project
K14 0250 10    anything of what Jesus felt for his mother; only what
K14 0260  6    Mary felt for her son. Jesus' inert body would be passive,
K14 0270  5    his eyes closed. Mary would have to carry the human
K14 0280  2    communication. This seemed right to him.
K14 0280  8       It was a relief to shift in his mind to technical
K14 0290  8    problems. Since his Christ was to be life size, how
K14 0300  6    was Mary to hold him on her lap without the relationship
K14 0310  1    seeming ungainly? His Mary would be slender of limb
K14 0310 10    and delicate of proportion, yet she must hold this
K14 0320  9    full-grown man as securely and convincingly as she
K14 0330  5    would a child.
K14 0330  8       There was only one way to accomplish this: by design,
K14 0340  7    by drawing diagrams and sketches in which he probed
K14 0350  5    the remotest corner of his mind for creative ideas
K14 0360  1    to carry his concept.
K14 0360  5       He started by making free sketches to loosen up
K14 0370  2    his thinking so that images would appear on paper.
K14 0370 11    Visually, these approximated what he was feeling within
K14 0380  8    himself. At the same time he started walking the streets,
K14 0390  6    peering at the people passing or shopping at the stalls,
K14 0400  4    storing up fresh impressions of what they looked like,
K14 0410  2    how they moved. In particular he sought the gentle,
K14 0410 11    sweet-faced nuns, with head coverings and veils coming
K14 0420  8    to the middle of their foreheads, remembering their
K14 0430  3    expressions until he reached home and set them down
K14 0440  2    on paper.
K14 0440  4       Discovering that draperies could be designed to
K14 0450  2    serve structural purposes, he began a study of the
K14 0450 11    anatomy of folds. He improvised as he went along, completing
K14 0460  8    a life-size clay figure, then bought yards of an inexpensive
K14 0470  7    material from a draper, wet the lightweight cloth in
K14 0480  4    a basin and covered it over with clay that Argiento
K14 0490  1    brought from the bank of the Tiber, to the consistency
K14 0490 11    of thick mud. No fold could be accidental, each turn
K14 0500  9    of the drapery had to serve organically, to cover the
K14 0510  5    Madonna's slender legs and feet so that they would
K14 0520  3    give substantive support to Christ's body, to intensify
K14 0530  1    her inner turmoil. When the cloth dried and stiffened,
K14 0530 10    he saw what adjustments had to be made.
K14 0540  6       "So that's sculpture", commented Argiento wryly,
K14 0550  3    when he had sluiced down the floor for a week, "making
K14 0560  1    mud pies".
K14 0560  3       Michelangelo grinned. "See, Argiento, if you control
K14 0570  4    the way these folds are bunched, like this, or made
K14 0570 14    to flow, you can enrich the body attitudes. They can
K14 0580 10    have as much tactile appeal as flesh and bone".
K14 0590  6       He went into the Jewish quarter, wanting to draw
K14 0600  4    Hebraic faces so that he could reach a visual understanding
K14 0610  1    of how Christ might have looked. The Jewish section
K14 0610 10    was in Trastevere, near the Tiber at the church of
K14 0620 10    San Francesco a Ripa. The colony had been small until
K14 0630  7    the Spanish Inquisition of 1492 drove many Jews into
K14 0640  5    Rome. Here, for the most part, they were well treated,
K14 0650  2    as a "reminder of the Old Testament heritage of Christianity";
K14 0660  1    many of their gifted members were prominent in the
K14 0660 10    Vatican as physicians, musicians, bankers.
K14 0670  5       The men did not object to his sketching them while
K14 0680  5    they went about their work, but no one could be persuaded
K14 0690  3    to come to his studio to pose. He was told to ask for
K14 0700  1    Rabbi Melzi at the synagogue on Saturday afternoon.
K14 0700  9    Michelangelo found the rabbi in the room of study,
K14 0710  8    a gentle old man with a white beard and luminous grey
K14 0720  4    eyes, robed in black gabardine with a skullcap on his
K14 0730  2    head. He was reading from the Talmud with a group of
K14 0730 13    men from his congregation. When Michelangelo explained
K14 0740  5    why he had come, Rabbi Melzi replied gravely:
K14 0750  4       "The Bible forbids us to bow down to or to make
K14 0760  5    graven images. That is why our creative people give
K14 0760 14    their time to literature, not to painting or sculpture".
K14 0770  9       "But, Rabbi Melzi, you don't object to others creating
K14 0780  9    works of art"?
K14 0790  1       "Not at all. Each religion has its own tenets".
K14 0800  1       "I am carving a Pieta from white Carrara marble.
K14 0800 10    I wish to make Jesus an authentic Jew. I cannot accomplish
K14 0810  8    this if you will not help me".
K14 0820  3       The rabbi said thoughtfully, "I would not want my
K14 0830  2    people to get in trouble with the Church".
K14 0830 10       "I am working for the Cardinal of San Dionigi. I'm
K14 0840  8    sure he would approve".
K14 0850  1       "What kind of models would you prefer"?
K14 0850  8       "Workmen. In their mid-thirties. Not bulky laborers,
K14 0860  8    but sinewy men. With intelligence. And sensitivity".
K14 0870  4       Rabbi Melzi smiled at him with infinitely old but
K14 0880  6    merry eyes.
K14 0880  8       "Leave me your address. I will send you the best
K14 0890  7    the quarter has to offer". Michelangelo hurried to
K14 0900  3    Sangallo's solitary bachelor room with his sketches,
K14 0910  1    asked the architect to design a stand which would simulate
K14 0910 11    the seated Madonna. Sangallo studied the drawings and
K14 0920  8    improvised a trestle couch. Michelangelo bought some
K14 0930  5    scrap lumber. Together he and Argiento built the stand,
K14 0940  4    covering it with blankets.
K14 0940  8       His first model arrived at dusk. He hesitated for
K14 0950  8    a moment when Michelangelo asked him to disrobe, so
K14 0960  5    Michelangelo gave him a piece of toweling to wrap around
K14 0970  3    his loins, led him to the kitchen to take off his clothes.
K14 0980  1    He then draped him over the rough stand, explained
K14 0980 10    that he was supposed to be recently dead, and was being
K14 0990  8    held on his mother's lap. The model quite plainly thought
K14 1000  5    Michelangelo crazy; only the instructions from his
K14 1010  3    rabbi kept him from bolting. But at the end of the
K14 1010 14    sitting, when Michelangelo showed him the quick, free
K14 1020  8    drawings, with the mother roughed in, holding her son,
K14 1030  7    the model grasped what Michelangelo was after, and
K14 1040  4    promised to speak to his friends **h. He worked for
K14 1050  1    two hours a day with each model sent by the rabbi.
K14 1050 12       Mary presented quite a different problem. Though
K14 1060  6    this sculpture must take place thirty-three years after
K14 1070  3    her moment of decision, he could not conceive of her
K14 1080  3    as a woman in her mid-fifties, old, wrinkled, broken
K14 1080 13    in body and face by labor or worry. His image of the
K14 1090 10    Virgin had always been that of a young woman, even
K14 1100  6    as had his memory of his mother.
K14 1100 13       Jacopo Galli introduced him into several Roman homes.
K14 1110  8    Here he sketched, sitting in their flowing gowns of
K14 1120  7    linen and silk, young girls not yet twenty, some about
K14 1130  4    to be married, some married a year or two. Since the
K14 1140  2    Santo Spirito hospital had taken only men, he had had
K14 1140 12    no experience in the study of female anatomy; but he
K14 1150  9    had sketched the women of Tuscany in their fields and
K14 1160  6    homes. He was able to discern the body lines of the
K14 1170  4    Roman women under their robes.
K14 1170  9       He spent concentrated weeks putting his two figures
K14 1180  6    together: a Mary who would be young and sensitive,
K14 1190  3    yet strong enough to hold her son on her lap; and a
K14 1200  2    Jesus who, though lean, was strong even in death **h
K14 1200 12    a look he remembered well from his experience in the
K14 1210  7    dead room of Santo Spirito. He drew toward the composite
K14 1220  6    design from his meticulously accurate memory, without
K14 1230  2    need to consult his sketches.
K14 1230  7       Soon he was ready to go into a three-dimensional
K14 1240  7    figure in clay. Here he would have free expression
K14 1250  2    because the material could be moved to distort forms.
K14 1250 11    When he wanted to emphasize, or get greater intensity,
K14 1260  9    he added or subtracted clay. Next he turned to wax
K14 1270  7    because there was a similarity of wax to marble in
K14 1280  5    tactile quality and translucence. He respected each
K14 1290  1    of these approach techniques, and kept them in character:
K14 1290 10    his quill drawings had a scratchiness, suggesting skin
K14 1300  7    texture; the clay he used plastically to suggest soft
K14 1310  5    moving flesh, as in an abdomen, in a reclining torso;
K14 1320  2    the wax he smoothed over to give the body surface an
K14 1330  1    elastic pull. Yet he never allowed these models to
K14 1330 10    become fixed in his mind; they remained rough starting
K14 1340  6    points. When carving he was charged with spontaneous
K14 1350  3    energy; too careful or detailed studies in clay and
K14 1360  2    wax would have glued him down to a mere enlarging of
K14 1360 13    his model.
K14 1370  1       The true surge had to be inside the marble itself.
K14 1370 11    Drawing and models were his thinking. Carving was action.
K14 1380  8    #10.#
K14 1380  9    The arrangement with Argiento was working well, except
K14 1390  7    that sometimes Michelangelo could not figure who was
K14 1400  6    master and who apprentice. Argiento had been trained
K14 1410  3    so rigorously by the Jesuits that Michelangelo was
K14 1410 11    unable to change his habits: up before dawn to scrub
K14 1420 10    the floors, whether they were dirty or not; water boiling
K14 1430  8    on the fire for washing laundry every day, the pots
K14 1440  5    scoured with river sand after each meal.
K14 1450  1       "Argiento, this is senseless", he complained, not
K14 1450  8    liking to work on the wet floors, particularly in cold
K14 1460  8    weather. "You're too clean. Scrub the studio once a
K14 1470  6    week. That's enough".
K14 1470  9       "No", said Argiento stolidly. "Every day. Before
K14 1480  7    dawn. I was taught".
K14 1490  1       "And God help anyone who tries to unteach you"!
K14 1500  1    grumbled Michelangelo; yet he knew that he had nothing
K14 1500 10    to grumble about, for Argiento made few demands on
K14 1510  8    him. The boy was becoming acquainted with the contadini
K14 1520  4    families that brought produce into Rome. On Sundays
K14 1530  3    he would walk miles into the campagna to visit with
K14 1540  1    them, and in particular to see their horses. The one
K14 1540 11    thing he missed from his farm in the Po Valley was
K14 1550  9    the animals; frequently he would take his leave of
K14 1560  5    Michelangelo by announcing:
K14 1560  8       "Today I go see the horses".
K14 1570  6       It took a piece of bad luck to show Michelangelo
K14 1580  2    that the boy was devoted to him. He was crouched over
K14 1580 13    his anvil in the courtyard getting his chisels into
K14 1590  9    trim, when a splinter of steel flew into his eye and
K14 1600  8    imbedded itself in his pupil. He stumbled into the
K14 1610  3    house, eyes burning like fire. Argiento made him lie
K14 1620  1    down on the bed, brought a pan of hot water, dipped
K14 1620 12    some clean white linen cloth and applied it to extract
K14 1630  7    the splinter. Though the pain was considerable Michelangelo
K14 1640  3    was not too concerned. He assumed he could blink the
K14 1650  3    splinter out. But it would not come. Argiento never
K14 1650 12    left his side, keeping the water boiled, applying hot
K14 1660  9    compresses throughout the night.
K14 1670  3       By the second day Michelangelo began to worry; and
K14 1680  2    by the second night he was in a state of panic: he
K14 1680 14    could see nothing out of the afflicted eye. At dawn
K14 1690  8    Argiento went to Jacopo Galli. Galli arrived with his
K14 1700  5    family surgeon, Maestro Lippi. The surgeon carried
K14 1710  2    a cage of live pigeons. He told Argiento to take a
K14 1710 13    bird out of the cage, cut a large vein under its wing,
K14 1720 12    let the blood gush into Michelangelo's injured eye.
K14 1730  5       The surgeon came back at dusk, cut the vein of a
K14 1740  7    second pigeon, again washed out the eye.
K15 0010  1       Beth was very still and her breath came in small
K15 0010 11    jerking gasps. The thin legs twitched convulsively
K15 0020  6    once, then Kate felt the little body stiffening in
K15 0030  4    her arms and heard one strangled sound. The scant flesh
K15 0040  2    grew cool beneath her frantic hands. The child was
K15 0040 11    gone.
K15 0050  1       When Juanita awoke, Kate was still rocking the dead
K15 0050 10    child, still crooning in disbelief, "No, no, oh, no!"
K15 0060  8       They put Kate to bed and wired Jonathan and sent
K15 0070  9    for the young Presbyterian minister. He sat beside
K15 0080  5    Kate's bed with the others throughout the morning,
K15 0090  2    talking, talking of God's will, while Kate lay staring
K15 0090 11    angrily at him. When he told her God had called the
K15 0100 11    child to Him, she rejected his words rebelliously.
K15 0110  5       Few of the neighbors came, but Mrs& Tussle came,
K15 0120  4    called by tragedy. "It always comes in threes", she
K15 0130  3    sighed heavily. "Trouble never comes but in threes".
K15 0140  1       They held the funeral the next morning from the
K15 0140 10    crossroads church and buried the little box in the
K15 0150  9    quiet family plot. Kate moved through all the preparations
K15 0160  5    and services in a state of bewilderment. She would
K15 0170  3    not accept the death of such a little child. "God called
K15 0180  1    her to Him", the minister had said. God would not do
K15 0180 12    that, Kate thought stubbornly.
K15 0190  4       Jonathan's letter came, as she knew it would, and
K15 0200  4    he had accepted their child's death as another judgment
K15 0210  1    from God against both Kate and himself. In blind panic
K15 0210 11    of grief she accepted Jonathan's dictum, and believed
K15 0220  7    in her desperation that she had been cursed by God.
K15 0230  7    She held Jonathan's letter, his words burning like
K15 0240  3    a brand, and knew suddenly that the bonds between them
K15 0250  1    were severed. She had nothing left but her duty to
K15 0250 11    his land and his son. Joel came and sat mutely with
K15 0260  8    her, sharing her pain and anguish, averting his eyes
K15 0270  4    from the ice packs on her bosom.
K15 0270 11       Juanita and Mrs& Tussle kept Kate in bed a week
K15 0280  9    until her milk dried. When she returned to life in
K15 0290  6    the big house she felt shriveled of all emotion save
K15 0300  2    dedication to duty. She disciplined herself daily to
K15 0300 10    do what must be done. She had even steeled herself
K15 0310  9    to keep Juanita upstairs in the nurse's room off the
K15 0320  7    empty nursery, although the girl tried to insist on
K15 0330  4    moving back to the quarters to spare Kate remembrance
K15 0330 13    of the baby's death.
K15 0340  4       Juanita drooped about the place, wearing a haunted,
K15 0350  3    brooding look, which Kate attributed to the baby's
K15 0350 11    death, until the day a letter came for her addressed
K15 0360 10    to "Miss Juanita Fitzroy", bearing a Grafton postmark.
K15 0370  5    Seeing the slanting hand, Kate knew uneasily that it
K15 0380  5    was from the Yankee colonel. The Federal forces had
K15 0390  3    taken Parkersburg and Grafton from the Rebels and were
K15 0390 12    moving to take all the mountains. Kate tried to contain
K15 0400 10    her curiosity and foreboding at what the letter portended,
K15 0410  8    at what involvement existed for Juanita.
K15 0420  3       Uncle Randolph and Joel had replanted the bottom
K15 0430  1    lands with difficulty, for more of the slaves, including
K15 0430 10    Annie, had sneaked off when the soldiers broke camp.
K15 0440  9    Joel worked like a field hand in the afternoons after
K15 0450  6    school. He had been at lessons in the schoolhouse since
K15 0460  3    they returned from Harpers Ferry. Kate felt she had
K15 0470  2    deserted the boy in her own loss. She loved him and
K15 0470 13    missed his company.
K15 0480  1       Uncle Randolph had been riding out every evening
K15 0480  9    on some secret business of his own. What it was Kate
K15 0490 10    could not fathom. He claimed to be visiting the waterfront
K15 0500  7    saloon at the crossroads to play cards and drink with
K15 0510  5    his cronies, but Kate had not smelled brandy on him
K15 0520  3    since Mrs& Lattimer's funeral. Joel knew what he was
K15 0520 12    about, however.
K15 0530  2       "You're gonna get caught", she heard Joel say to
K15 0540  3    Uncle Randolph by the pump one morning.
K15 0540 10       "Not this old fox", chuckled Uncle Randolph. "Everybody
K15 0550  6    knows I'm just a harmless, deaf old man who takes to
K15 0560  9    drink. I aim to keep a little whisky still back in
K15 0570  4    the ridge for my pleasure".
K15 0570  9       "Whisky still, my foot", said Joel. "You're back
K15 0580  7    there riding with the guerrillas, the Moccasin Rangers".
K15 0590  5       "Hush", said Uncle Randolph, smiling, "or I'll give
K15 0600  6    you another black eye". He patted the eye Joel had
K15 0610  6    had blackened in a fight over being Rebel at the crossroads
K15 0620  3    some days back.
K15 0620  6       Kate had no idea what they were talking of, although
K15 0630  4    she had seen the blue lights and strange fires burning
K15 0640  2    and winking on the ridges at night, had heard horsemen
K15 0640 12    on the River Road and hill trails through the nights
K15 0650  9    till dawn. Stranger, Uncle Randolph began riding home
K15 0660  6    nights with a jug strapped to his saddle, drunkenly
K15 0670  2    singing "Old Dan Tucker" at the top of his voice. Hearing
K15 0680  2    his voice ring raucously up from the road, Kate would
K15 0680 12    await him anxiously and watch perplexed as he walked
K15 0690  9    into the house, cold sober. What he was about became
K15 0700  7    clear to her with the circulation of another broadside
K15 0710  3    proclamation by General McClellan, threatening reprisals
K15 0720  2    against Rebel guerrillas. She was taken up in worry
K15 0720 11    for the reckless old man.
K15 0730  4       Kate drew more and more on her affection for Joel
K15 0740  2    through the hot days of summer work. She had taken
K15 0740 12    him out of the schoolhouse and closed the school for
K15 0750  8    the summer, after she saw Miss Snow crack Joel across
K15 0760  6    the face with a ruler for letting a snake loose in
K15 0770  3    the schoolroom. Kate had walked past the school on
K15 0770 12    her morning chores and had seen the whole incident,
K15 0780  8    had seen Joel's burning humiliation before Miss Snow's
K15 0790  5    cold, bespectacled wrath. He had the hardest pains
K15 0800  4    of growing before him now, as he approached twelve.
K15 0810  1    These would be his hardest years, she knew, and he
K15 0810 11    missed his father desperately.
K15 0820  2       She tried to find some way to draw him out, to help
K15 0830  2    him. Whenever she found time, she went blackberry picking
K15 0830 11    with him, and they would come home together, mouths
K15 0840  9    purple, arms and faces scratched, tired enough to forget
K15 0850  6    grief for another day. He tended the new colts Beau
K15 0870  3    had sired. He helped Kate and Juanita enlarge the flower
K15 0880  1    garden in the side yard, where they sometimes sat in
K15 0880 11    the still evenings watching the last fat bees working
K15 0890  7    against the summer's purple dusk.
K15 0900  1       No one went much to the crossroads now except Uncle
K15 0900 11    Randolph. They stayed in their own world on the bluff,
K15 0910 10    waiting for letters and the peddler, bringing the news.
K15 0930  3    Jonathan wrote grimly of the destruction of Harpers
K15 0940  3    Ferry before they abandoned it; of their first engagement
K15 0950  2    at Falling Waters after Old Jack's First Brigade had
K15 0960  2    destroyed all the rolling stock of the ~B+O Railroad.
K15 0960 11    The men were restive, he wrote, ready to take the battle
K15 0970 10    to the enemy as Jackson wished.
K15 0980  2       The peddler came bawling his wares and told them
K15 0990  1    of the convention in Wheeling, Which had formed a new
K15 0990 11    state government by declaring the government at Richmond
K15 1000  7    in the east illegal because they were traitors. Dangling
K15 1010  5    his gaudy trinkets before them, he told of the Rebel
K15 1020  4    losses in the mountains, at Cheat and Rich mountains
K15 1030  1    both, and the Federal march on Beverly.
K15 1030  8       "Cleaned all them Rebs out'n the hills, they did!
K15 1040  7    They won't never git over inter loyal western Virginia,
K15 1050  4    them traitors! The Federals is making everybody take
K15 1060  3    the oath of loyalty around these parts too", he crowed.
K15 1070  1       After he had gone, Kate asked Uncle Randolph proudly,
K15 1070 10    "Would you take their oath"?
K15 1080  5       And the old man had given a sly and wicked laugh
K15 1090  5    and said, "Hell, yes! I think I've taken it about fifty
K15 1100  4    times already"! winking at Joel's look of shock.
K15 1110  1       Her mother wrote Kate of her grief at the death
K15 1110 11    of Kate's baby and at Jonathan's decision to go with
K15 1120  9    the South "And, dear Kate", she wrote, "poor Dr& Breckenridge's
K15 1130  7    son Robert is now organizing a militia company to go
K15 1140  9    South, to his good father's sorrow. Maj& Anderson of
K15 1150  5    Fort Sumter is home and recruiting volunteers for the
K15 1160  3    U&S& Army. In spite of the fact that the state legislature
K15 1170  2    voted us neutral, John Hunt Morgan is openly flying
K15 1180  1    the Confederate flag over his woolen factory"!
K15 1180  8       Rumor of a big battle spread like a grassfire up
K15 1190  8    the valley. Accounts were garbled at the telegraph
K15 1200  4    office when they sent old George down to Parkersburg
K15 1210  1    for the news.
K15 1210  4       "All dey know down dere is it were at Manassas Junction
K15 1220  2    and it were a big fight", the old man told them.
K15 1230  1       In the next few days they had cause to rejoice.
K15 1230 11    It had been a big battle, and the Confederate forces
K15 1240  8    had won. Jonathan and Ben were not on the lists of
K15 1250  7    the dead or on that of the missing. Kate and Mrs& Tussle
K15 1260  3    waited for letters anxiously. Joel went to the crest
K15 1270  1    of a hill behind the house and lit an enormous victory
K15 1270 12    bonfire to celebrate. When Kate hurried in alarm to
K15 1280  7    tell him to put it out, she saw other dots of flames
K15 1290  6    among the western Virginia hills from the few scattered
K15 1300  2    fires of the faithful. They all prayed now that the
K15 1300 12    North would realize that peace must come, for Virginia
K15 1310  9    had defended her land victoriously.
K15 1320  2       The week after Manassas the sound of horses in the
K15 1330  3    yard brought Kate up in shock from an afternoon's rest
K15 1330 13    when she saw the Federal soldiers from her upstairs
K15 1340  9    window. They had already lost most of their corn, she
K15 1350  7    thought. Were they to be insulted again because of
K15 1360  3    the South's great victory? She remembered McClellan's
K15 1370  1    last proclamation as she hurried fearfully down the
K15 1370  9    stairs.
K15 1380  1       At the landing she saw Juanita, her face flushed
K15 1380 10    pink with excitement, run down the hall from the kitchen
K15 1390  8    to the front door. Juanita stopped just inside the
K15 1400  5    open door, her hand to her mouth. As Kate came swiftly
K15 1410  3    down the stairs to the hall she saw Colonel Marsh framed
K15 1420  1    in the doorway, his face set in the same vulnerable
K15 1420 11    look Juanita wore. Kate greeted him gravely, uneasy
K15 1430  6    with misgivings at his visit.
K15 1440  1       "What brings you here again, Colonel Marsh"? she
K15 1440  9    asked, taking him and Juanita into the parlor where
K15 1450  9    the shutters were closed against the afternoon sun.
K15 1460  5       "I stopped to say goodbye, Mrs& Lattimer, and to
K15 1470  4    tell you how sorry I was to hear about your baby. I
K15 1480  2    wish our doctor could have saved her".
K15 1480  9       "It was a terrible loss to me", said Kate quietly,
K15 1490  7    feeling the pain twist again at the mention, knowing
K15 1500  5    now that Juanita must have written to him at Grafton.
K15 1510  2    "Where will you go now that you're leaving Parkersburg"?
K15 1520  1    she asked him, seeing Juanita's eyes grow bleak.
K15 1520  9       "As you know, General McClellan has been occupying
K15 1530  8    Beverly. He has notified me that he has orders to go
K15 1540  9    to Washington to take over the Army of the Potomac.
K15 1550  5    I am to go to Washington to serve with him".
K15 1560  1       "When are you to leave"? Kate asked, watching them
K15 1560 10    both now anxiously. Their eyes betrayed too much of
K15 1570  9    their emotions, she thought sadly.
K15 1580  3       "Tomorrow. Would you permit Juanita to walk about
K15 1590  2    the grounds with me for a short spell, Mrs& Lattimer"?
K15 1600  1       "Stay here in the parlor where it's cool", she said,
K15 1600 11    trying to be calm. It would be better for Joel and
K15 1610 11    Uncle Randolph and Mrs& Tussle not to see them.
K15 1620  7       Kate went back and reminded the kitchen women of
K15 1630  5    the supper preparations. Then she took iced lemonade
K15 1640  1    to Marsh's young aide where he sat in the cool of the
K15 1640 13    big trees around the flower garden. When Marsh called
K15 1650  8    to his aide and the pair rode off down the River Road
K15 1660  7    where the gentians burned blue, Juanita was shaken
K15 1670  3    and trying not to cry. She sought Kate out upstairs,
K15 1680  1    her lips trembling.
K15 1680  4       "He wants me to go with him tomorrow", she told
K15 1690  3    Kate.
K15 1690  4       "What do you want to do"? Kate asked, uneasy at
K15 1700  3    the gravity of the girl's dilemma.
K15 1700  9       "I could go with him. He knows me as your niece,
K15 1710  9    which, of course, I am. But I am a slave! You own me.
K15 1720  7    It's your decision", said Juanita, holding her face
K15 1730  4    very still, trying to contain the bitterness of her
K15 1740  1    voice as she enunciated her words too distinctly.
K15 1740  9       "No, the decision is yours. I have held your papers
K15 1750  9    of manumission since I married Mr& Lattimer".
K16 0010  1       The red glow from the cove had died out of the sky.
K16 0010 13    The two in the bed knew each other as old people know
K16 0020 10    the partners with whom they have shared the same bed
K16 0030  6    for many years, and they needed to say no more. The
K16 0040  3    things left unsaid they both felt deeply, and with
K16 0040 12    a sigh they fell back on the well-stuffed pillows.
K16 0050  8    Anita put out the remaining candles with a long snuffer,
K16 0060  6    and in the smell of scented candlewick, the comforting
K16 0070  3    awareness of each other's bodies, the retained pattern
K16 0080  1    of dancers and guests remembered, their minds grew
K16 0080  9    numb and then empty of images. They slept- Mynheer
K16 0090  6    with a marvelously high-pitched snoring, the damn seahorse
K16 0100  5    ivory teeth watching him from a bedside table.
K16 0110  1    ##
K16 0110  2    In the ballroom below, the dark had given way to moonlight
K16 0120  1    coming in through the bank of French windows. It was
K16 0120 11    a delayed moon, but now the sky had cleared of scudding
K16 0130  9    black and the stars sugared the silver-gray sky. Martha
K16 0140  6    Schuyler, old, slow, careful of foot, came down the
K16 0150  3    great staircase, dressed in her best lace-drawn black
K16 0150 12    silk, her jeweled shoe buckles held forward.
K16 0160  7       "Well, I'm here at last", she said, addressing the
K16 0170  7    old portraits on the walls. "I don't hear the music.
K16 0180  5    I am getting deaf, I must admit it".
K16 0190  1       She came to the ballroom and stood on the two carpeted
K16 0190 12    steps that led down to it. "Where is everyone? I say,
K16 0200 10    where is everyone? Peter, you lummox, you've forgot
K16 0210  6    to order the musicians".
K16 0220  1       She stood there, a large old woman, smiling at the
K16 0220 10    things she would say to him in the morning, this big
K16 0230  9    foolish baby of a son. There were times now, like this,
K16 0240  5    when she lost control of the time count and moved freely
K16 0250  2    back and forth into three generations. Was it a birthday
K16 0250 12    ball? When Peter had reached his majority at eighteen?
K16 0260  9    Or was it her own first ball as mistress of this big
K16 0270 10    house, a Van Rensselaer bride from way upstate near
K16 0280  5    Albany, from Rensselaerwyck. And this handsome booby,
K16 0290  2    staring and sweating, was he her bridegroom?
K16 0290  9       Martha picked up the hem of her gown and with eyes
K16 0300 11    closed she slowly began to dance a stately minuet around
K16 0310  7    the ballroom.
K16 0310  9    ##
K16 0310 10    David Cortlandt was tired beyond almost the limits
K16 0320  7    of his flesh. He had ridden hard from Boston, and he
K16 0330  6    was not used to horseback. Now, driving the horse and
K16 0340  3    sulky borrowed from Mynheer Schuyler, he felt as if
K16 0340 12    every bone was topped by burning oil and that every
K16 0350 10    muscle was ready to dissolve into jelly and leave his
K16 0360  6    big body helpless and unable to move.
K16 0370  1       The road leading south along the river was shaded
K16 0370 10    with old trees, and in the moonlight the silvery landscape
K16 0380  8    was like a setting for trolls and wood gods rather
K16 0390  5    than the Hudson River Valley of his boyhood memories.
K16 0400  2    He slapped the reins on the back of the powerful gray
K16 0400 13    horse and held on as the sulky's wheels hit a pothole
K16 0410 11    and came out with a jolt and went on. He would cross
K16 0420  9    to Manhattan, to Harlem Heights, before morning. There
K16 0430  4    a certain farmhouse was a station for the Sons of Liberty.
K16 0440  4    He would send on by trusted messenger the dispatches
K16 0450  1    with their electrifying news. And he would sleep, sleep,
K16 0450 10    and never think of roads and horses' sore haunches,
K16 0460  8    of colonial wars.
K16 0470  1       Strange how everything here fitted back into his
K16 0470  9    life, even if he had been away so long. Mynheer, Sir
K16 0480  7    Francis, the valley society, the very smell of the
K16 0490  4    river on his right purling along to the bay past fish
K16 0500  1    weirs and rocks, and ahead the sleepy ribbon of moon-drenched
K16 0500 12    road. A mist was walking on the water, white as cotton,
K16 0510 10    but with a blending and merging grace.
K16 0520  4       Ahead there was a stirring of sudden movement at
K16 0530  2    a crossroads. David reached for the pair of pistols
K16 0530 11    in the saddlebags at his feet. He pulled out one of
K16 0540  9    them and cocked it. A strange wood creature came floating
K16 0550  5    up from a patch of berry bushes. It was a grotesque
K16 0560  3    hen, five or six feet tall. It had the features of
K16 0560 14    a man bewhiskered by clumps of loose feathers. It ran,
K16 0570  9    this apocalyptic beast, on two thin legs, and its wings-
K16 0580  8    were they feathered arms?- flapped as it ran. Its groin
K16 0590  9    was bloody. Black strips of skin hung from it.
K16 0600  3       The horse shied at the dreadful thing and flared
K16 0600 12    its nostrils. David took a firm hand with it. The creature
K16 0610 11    in feathers looked around and David saw the mad eyes,
K16 0620  9    glazed with an insane fear. The ungainly bird thing
K16 0630  5    ran away, and to David its croaking sounded like the
K16 0640  3    crowing of a tormented rooster. Then it was gone. He
K16 0640 13    drove on, wary and shaken. The Sons were out tonight.
K16 0650 10    #CHAPTER 10#
K16 0650 12    New York lay bleaching in the summer sun, and the morning
K16 0660 11    fish hawk, flying in the heated air, saw below him
K16 0670  8    the long triangular wedge of Manhattan Island. It was
K16 0680  4    thickly settled by fifteen thousand citizens and laid
K16 0690  3    out into pig-infested streets, mostly around the Battery,
K16 0690 12    going bravely north to Wall Street, but giving up and
K16 0700 10    becoming fields and farms in the region of Harlem Heights.
K16 0710  9    From there it looked across at Westchester County and
K16 0720  5    the Hudson River where the manor houses, estates, and
K16 0730  3    big farms of the original (non-Indian) landowners began.
K16 0740  2       On the east side of the island of Manhattan the
K16 0740 12    indifferent hawk knew the East River that connected
K16 0750  8    New York Bay with Long Island Sound. On the western
K16 0760  6    tip of Long Island protruded Brooklyn Heights. It commanded
K16 0770  4    a view over Manhattan and the harbor. A fringe of housing
K16 0780  5    and gardens bearded the top of the heights, and behind
K16 0790  2    it were sandy roads leading past farms and hayfields.
K16 0790 11    Husbandry was bounded by snake-rail fences, and there
K16 0800  9    were grazing cattle. On the shores north and south,
K16 0810  6    the fishers and mooncursers- smugglers- lived along
K16 0820  5    the churning Great South Bay and the narrow barrier
K16 0830  1    of sand, Fire Island.
K16 0830  5       The morning hawk, hungry for any eatable, killable,
K16 0840  2    digestible item, kept his eyes on the ring of anchored
K16 0840 12    ships that lay off the shores in the bay, sheltered
K16 0850 10    by the Jersey inlets. They often threw tidbits overboard.
K16 0860  6    The larger ships were near Paulus Hook, already being
K16 0870  4    called, by a few, Jersey City. These were the ships
K16 0880  3    of His Majesty's Navy, herding the hulks of the East
K16 0890  1    Indies merchants and the yachts and ketches of the
K16 0890 10    loyalists. The news of battle on Breed's Hill had already
K16 0900  9    seeped through, and New York itself was now left in
K16 0910  7    the hands of the local Provincial Congress. The fish
K16 0920  3    hawk, his wings not moving, circled and glided lower.
K16 0930  1    The gilt sterns of the men-of-war becoming clearer
K16 0930 11    to him, the sides of the wooden sea walls alternately
K16 0940  7    painted yellow and black, the bronze cannon at the
K16 0950  4    ports. The captain's gig of H&M&S& Mercury was being
K16 0960  3    rowed to H&M&S& Neptune.
K16 0960  7    ##
K16 0960  8    On shore "the freed slaves to despotism"- the town
K16 0970  8    dwellers- watched the ships and waited. The chevaux
K16 0980  7    de frise, those sharp stakes and barriers around the
K16 0990  5    fort at the Battery, pointed to a conflict between
K16 1000  1    the town and sea power rolling in glassy swells as
K16 1000 11    the tide came in. Across the bay the Palisades were
K16 1010  8    heavy in green timber; their rock paths led down to
K16 1020  6    the Hudson. Below in the open bay facing Manhattan
K16 1030  1    was Staten Island, gritty with clam shells and mud
K16 1030 10    flats behind which nested farms, cattle barns, and
K16 1040  7    berry thickets. Along Wappinger Creek in Dutchess County,
K16 1050  5    past the white church at Fishkill, past Verplanck's
K16 1060  3    Point on the east bank of the Hudson, to the white
K16 1070  1    salt-crusted roads of the Long Island Rockaways there
K16 1070 10    was a watching and an activity of preparing for something
K16 1080  8    explosive to happen. Today, tomorrow, six months, even
K16 1090  6    perhaps a year **h
K16 1090 10       The fish hawk flew on and was lost from sight. The
K16 1100 10    British ships rolled at anchor, sent out picket boats
K16 1110  6    and waited for orders from London. Waited for more
K16 1120  3    ships, more lobster-backed infantry, and asked what
K16 1130  1    was to be done with a war of rebellion?
K16 1130 10    ##
K16 1130 11    David Cortlandt, having slept away a day and a night,
K16 1140  8    came awake in a plank farmhouse on the Harlem River
K16 1150  4    near Spuyten Duyvil. He looked out through windowpanes
K16 1160  1    turned a faint violet by sun and weather, looked out
K16 1160 11    at King's Bridge toward Westchester. The road seemed
K16 1170  7    animated with a few more wagons than usual; a carriage
K16 1180  6    raising up the choking June dust, and beyond, in a
K16 1190  5    meadow, a local militia company drilling with muskets,
K16 1200  1    Kentuck' rifles, every kind of horse pistol, old sword,
K16 1200 10    or cutlass.
K16 1210  1       The wraith-like events of the last few days flooded
K16 1210 11    David's mind and he rubbed his unshaved chin and felt
K16 1220 10    again the ache in his kidneys caused by his saddle
K16 1230  6    odyssey from Boston. Pensive, introspective, he ached.
K16 1240  3    He had sent the dispatches downtown to the proper people
K16 1250  2    and had slept. Now there was more to do. Orders not
K16 1250 13    written down had to be transmitted to the local provincial
K16 1260  9    government. He scratched his mosquito-plagued neck.
K16 1270  5       From the saddlebags, hung on a Hitchcock chair,
K16 1280  4    David took out a good English razor, a present from
K16 1290  1    John Hunter. He found tepid water in a pitcher and
K16 1290 11    a last bit of soap, and he lathered his face and stood
K16 1300  9    stropping the razor on his broad leather belt, its
K16 1310  5    buckle held firm by a knob of the bedpost **h. He hoped
K16 1320  3    he was free of self-deception.
K16 1320  9       Here he was, suddenly caught up in the delirium
K16 1330  6    of a war, in the spite and calumny of Whigs and Tories.
K16 1340  3    There would be great need soon for his skill as surgeon,
K16 1350  1    but somehow he had not planned to use his knowledge
K16 1350 11    merely for war. David Cortlandt had certain psychic
K16 1360  6    intuitions that this rebellion was not wholly what
K16 1370  5    it appeared on the surface. He knew that many were
K16 1380  1    using it for their own ends. But it did not matter.
K16 1380 12    He stropped the razor slowly; what mattered was that
K16 1390  7    a new concept of Americans was being born. That some
K16 1400  5    men did not want it he could understand. The moral
K16 1410  2    aridity of merchants made them loyal usually to their
K16 1410 11    ledgers. Yet some, like Morris Manderscheid, would
K16 1420  7    bankrupt themselves for the new ideas. Unique circumstances
K16 1430  6    would test us all, he decided. Injury and ingratitude
K16 1440  3    would occur. No doubt John Hancock would do well now;
K16 1450  2    war was a smugglers' heaven. And what of that poor
K16 1450 12    tarred and feathered wretch he had seen on the road
K16 1460 10    driving down from Schuyler's? Things like that would
K16 1470  5    increase rather than be done away with. One had to
K16 1480  5    believe in final events or one was stranded in the
K16 1480 15    abyss of nothing. He saw with John Hunter now that
K16 1490 10    the perfectability of man was a dream. Life was a short
K16 1500 10    play of tenebrous shadows. David began to shave with
K16 1510  5    great sweeping strokes.
K16 1510  8       Time plays an essential part in our mortality, and
K16 1520  7    suddenly for no reason he could imagine (or admit)
K16 1530  3    the image of Peg laughing filled his mind- so desirable,
K16 1540  1    so lusty, so full of nuances of pleasure and joy. He
K16 1540 12    drove sensual patterns off, carefully shaving his long
K16 1550  7    upper lip. It is harder, he muttered, to meditate on
K16 1560  6    man (or woman) than on God.
K16 1560 12       David finished shaving, washed his face clean of
K16 1570  8    lather, and combed and retied his hair. He was proud
K16 1580  7    that he had never worn a wig. More and more of the
K16 1590  4    colonials were wearing their own hair and not using
K16 1590 13    powder. He felt cheerful again, refreshed; presentable
K16 1600  7    in his wide-cut brown suit, the well-made riding boots.
K16 1610  7       It is so easy to falsify sentiment **h. In the meadow
K16 1620  6    below, militia officers shouted at their men and on
K16 1630  4    King's Bridge two boys sat fishing. The future would
K16 1640  1    happen; he did not have to hurry it by thinking too
K16 1640 12    much. A man could be tossed outside the dimension of
K16 1650  7    time by a stray bullet these days. He began to pack
K16 1660  5    the saddlebags. And all this too shall pass away: it
K16 1670  3    came to him out of some dim corner of memory from a
K16 1670 15    church service when he was a boy- yes, in a white church
K16 1680 12    with a thin spur steeple in the patriarchal Hudson
K16 1690  6    Valley, where a feeling of plenitude was normal in
K16 1700  4    those English-Dutch manors with their well-fed squires.
K17 0010  1    Burly leathered men and wrinkled women in drab black
K17 0010 10    rags carried on in a primitive way, almost unchanged
K17 0020  7    from feudal times. Peasants puzzled Andrei. He wondered
K17 0030  4    how they could go on in poverty, superstition, ignorance,
K17 0040  2    with a complete lack of desire to make either their
K17 0040 12    land or their lives flourish.
K17 0050  5       Andrei remembered a Bathyran meeting long ago. Tolek
K17 0060  4    Alterman had returned from the colonies in Palestine
K17 0070  1    and, before the national leadership, exalted the miracles
K17 0070  9    of drying up swamps and irrigating the desert. A fund-raising
K17 0080 10    drive to buy tractors and machinery was launched. Andrei
K17 0090  6    remembered that his own reaction had been one of indifference.
K17 0100  6       Had he found the meaning too late? It aggravated
K17 0110  4    him. The land of the Lublin Uplands was rich, but no
K17 0120  3    one seemed to care. In the unfertile land in Palestine
K17 0120 13    humans broke their backs pushing will power to the
K17 0130  9    brink.
K17 0130 10       He had sat beside Alexander Brandel at the rostrum
K17 0140  8    of a congress of Zionists. All of them were there in
K17 0150  7    this loosely knit association of diversified ideologies,
K17 0160  2    and each berated the other and beat his breast for
K17 0170  1    his own approaches. When Alexander Brandel rose to
K17 0170  9    speak, the hall became silent.
K17 0180  3       "I do not care if your beliefs take you along a
K17 0190  2    path of religion or a path of labor or a path of activism.
K17 0190 15    We are here because all our paths travel a blind course
K17 0200 10    through a thick forest, seeking human dignity. Beyond
K17 0210  5    the forest all our paths merge into a single great
K17 0220  4    highway which ends in the barren, eroded hills of Judea.
K17 0230  1    This is our singular goal. How we travel through the
K17 0230 11    forest is for each man's conscience. Where we end our
K17 0240  8    journey is always the same. We all seek the same thing
K17 0250  7    through different ways- an end to this long night of
K17 0260  4    two thousand years of darkness and unspeakable abuses
K17 0270  1    which will continue to plague us until the Star of
K17 0270 11    David flies over Zion". This was how Alexander Brandel
K17 0280  7    expressed pure Zionism. It had sounded good to Andrei,
K17 0290  7    but he did not believe it. In his heart he had no desire
K17 0300  6    to go to Palestine. He loathed the idea of drying up
K17 0310  3    swamps or the chills of malaria or of leaving his natural
K17 0310 14    birthright.
K17 0320  1       Before he went into battle Andrei had told Alex,
K17 0320 10    "I only want to be a Pole. Warsaw is my city, not Tel
K17 0330 13    Aviv".
K17 0340  1       And now Andrei sat on a train on the way to Lublin
K17 0340 13    and wondered if he was not being punished for his lack
K17 0350 10    of belief. Warsaw! He saw the smug eyes of the Home
K17 0360  8    Army chief, Roman, and all the Romans and the faces
K17 0370  3    of the peasants who held only hatred for him. They
K17 0370 13    had let this black hole of death in Warsaw's heart
K17 0380  9    exist without a cry of protest.
K17 0390  2       Once there had been big glittering rooms where Ulanys
K17 0400  1    bowed and kissed the ladies' hands as they flirted
K17 0400 10    from behind their fans.
K17 0410  2       Warsaw! Warsaw!
K17 0410  4       "Miss Rak. I am a Jew".
K17 0420  2       Day by day, week by week, month by month, the betrayal
K17 0430  1    gnawed at Andrei's heart. He ground his teeth together.
K17 0430 10    I hate Warsaw, he said to himself. I hate Poland and
K17 0440 10    all the goddamned mothers' sons of them. All of Poland
K17 0450  7    is a coffin.
K17 0450 10       The terrible vision of the ghetto streets flooded
K17 0460  7    his mind. What matters now? What is beyond this fog?
K17 0470  6    Only Palestine, and I will never live to see Palestine
K17 0480  3    because I did not believe.
K17 0480  8       By late afternoon the train inched into the marshaling
K17 0490  7    yards in the railhead at Lublin, which was filled with
K17 0500  5    lines of cars poised to pour the tools of war to the
K17 0510  3    Russian front.
K17 0510  5       At a siding, another train which was a familiar
K17 0520  2    sight these days. Deportees. Jews. Andrei's skilled
K17 0520  9    eye sized them up. They were not Poles. He guessed
K17 0530 10    by their appearance that they were Rumanians.
K17 0540  5       He walked toward the center of the city to keep
K17 0550  4    his rendezvous with Styka. Of all the places in Poland,
K17 0560  1    Andrei hated Lublin the most. The Bathyrans were all
K17 0560 10    gone. Few of the native Jews who had lived in Lublin
K17 0570 10    were still in the ghetto.
K17 0580  1       From the moment of the occupation Lublin became
K17 0580  9    a focal point. He and Ana watched it carefully. Lublin
K17 0590  8    generally was the forerunner of what would happen elsewhere.
K17 0600  6    Early in 1939, Odilo Globocnik, the Gauleiter of Vienna,
K17 0610  5    established ~SS headquarters for all of Poland. The
K17 0620  4    Bathyrans ran a check on Globocnik and had only to
K17 0630  1    conclude that he was in a tug of war with Hans Frank
K17 0630 13    and the civilian administrators.
K17 0640  2       Globocnik built the Death's-Head Corps. Lublin was
K17 0650  3    the seed of action for the "final solution" of the
K17 0650 13    Jewish problem. As the messages from Himmler, Heydrich,
K17 0660  8    and Eichmann came in through Alfred Funk, Lublin's
K17 0670  7    fountainhead spouted.
K17 0680  1       A bevy of interlacing lagers, work camps, concentration
K17 0680  9    camps erupted in the area. Sixty thousand Jewish prisoners
K17 0690  8    of war disappeared into Lublin's web. Plans went in
K17 0700  7    and out of Lublin, indicating German confusion. A tale
K17 0710  5    of a massive reservation in the Uplands to hold several
K17 0720  3    million Jews **h A tale of a plan to ship all Jews
K17 0720 15    to the island of Madagascar **h Stories of the depravity
K17 0730 10    of the guards at Globocnik's camps struck a chord of
K17 0740  8    terror at the mere mention of their names. Lipowa 7,
K17 0750  6    Sobibor, Chelmno, Poltawa, Belzec, Krzywy-Rog, Budzyn,
K17 0760  2    Krasnik. Ice baths, electric shocks, lashings, wild
K17 0770  1    dogs, testicle crushers.
K17 0770  4       The Death's-Head Corps took in Ukrainian and Baltic
K17 0780  4    Auxiliaries, and the Einsatzkommandos waded knee-deep
K17 0790  3    in blood and turned into drunken, dope-ridden maniacs.
K17 0800  1    Lublin was their heart.
K17 0800  5       In the spring of 1942 Operation Reinhard began in
K17 0810  3    Lublin. The ghetto, a miniature of Warsaw's, was emptied
K17 0820  1    into the camp in the Majdan-Tartarski suburb called
K17 0820 10    Majdanek. As the camp emptied, it was refilled by a
K17 0830 10    draining of the camps and towns around Lublin, then
K17 0840  5    by deportees from outside Poland. In and in and in
K17 0850  4    they poured through the gates of Majdanek, but they
K17 0850 13    never left, and Majdanek was not growing any larger.
K17 0860  9       What was happening in Majdanek? Was Operation Reinhard
K17 0870  6    the same pattern for the daily trains now leaving the
K17 0880  6    Umschlagplatz in Warsaw? Was there another Majdanek
K17 0890  3    in the Warsaw area, as they suspected?
K17 0890 10       Andrei stopped at Litowski Place and looked around
K17 0900  8    quickly at the boundary of civil buildings. His watch
K17 0910  6    told him he was still early. Down the boulevard he
K17 0920  4    could see a portion of the ghetto wall. He found an
K17 0930  1    empty bench, opened a newspaper, and stretched his
K17 0930  9    legs before him. Krakow Boulevard was filled with black
K17 0940  7    Nazi uniforms and the dirty brownish ones of their
K17 0950  5    Auxiliaries.
K17 0950  6       "Captain Androfski"!
K17 0960  1       Andrei glanced up over the top of the paper and
K17 0960 11    looked into the mustached, homely face of Sergeant
K17 0970  6    Styka. Styka sat beside him and pumped his hand excitedly.
K17 0980  5    "I have been waiting across the street at the post
K17 0990  4    office since dawn. I thought you might get in on a
K17 0990 15    morning train".
K17 1000  2       "It's good to see you again, Styka".
K17 1010  1       Styka studied his captain. He almost broke into
K17 1010  9    tears. To him, Andrei Androfski had always been the
K17 1020  6    living symbol of a Polish officer. His captain was
K17 1030  4    thin and haggard and his beautiful boots were worn
K17 1040  1    and shabby.
K17 1040  3       "Remember to call me Jan", Andrei said.
K17 1050  1       Styka nodded and sniffed and blew his nose vociferously.
K17 1050 10    "When that woman found me and told me that you needed
K17 1060 11    me I was never so happy since before the war".
K17 1070  5       "I'm lucky that you were still living in Lublin".
K17 1080  4       Styka grumbled about fate. "For a time I thought
K17 1090  3    of trying to reach the Free Polish Forces, but one
K17 1090 13    thing led to another. I got a girl in trouble and we
K17 1100 12    had to get married. Not a bad girl. So we have three
K17 1110  9    children and responsibilities. I work at the granary.
K17 1120  5    Nothing like the old days in the army, but I get by.
K17 1130  3    Who complains? Many times I tried to reach you, but
K17 1130 13    I never knew how. I came to Warsaw twice, but there
K17 1140 10    was that damned ghetto wall **h"
K17 1150  3       "I understand".
K17 1150  5       Styka blew his nose again.
K17 1160  2       "Were you able to make the arrangements"? Andrei
K17 1170  1    asked.
K17 1170  2       "There is a man named Grabski who is the foreman
K17 1170 12    in charge of the bricklayers at Majdanek. I did exactly
K17 1180 10    as instructed. I told him you are on orders from the
K17 1190 10    Home Army to get inside Majdanek so you can make a
K17 1200  6    report to the government in exile in London".
K17 1210  1       "His answer"?
K17 1210  3       "Ten thousand zlotys".
K17 1220  1       "Can he be trusted"?
K17 1220  5       "He is aware he will not live for twenty-four hours
K17 1230  5    if he betrays you".
K17 1230  9       "Good man, Styka".
K17 1240  1       "Captain **h Jan **h must you go inside Majdanek?
K17 1250  1    The stories **h Everyone really knows what is happening
K17 1250 10    there".
K17 1260  1       "Not everyone, Styka".
K17 1260  4       "What good will it really do"?
K17 1270  2       "I don't know. Perhaps **h perhaps **h there is
K17 1280  2    a shred of conscience left in the human race. Perhaps
K17 1280 12    if they know the story there will be a massive cry
K17 1290  9    of indignation".
K17 1290 11       "Do you really believe that, Jan"?
K17 1300  6       "I have to believe it".
K17 1310  1       Styka shook his head slowly. "I am only a simple
K17 1310 11    soldier. I cannot think things out too well. Until
K17 1320  9    I was transferred into the Seventh Ulanys I was like
K17 1330  7    every other Pole in my feeling about Jews. I hated
K17 1340  4    you when I first came in. But **h my captain might
K17 1350  1    have been a Jew, but he wasn't a Jew. What I mean is,
K17 1350 14    he was a Pole and the greatest soldier in the Ulanys.
K17 1360  9    Hell, sir. The men of our company had a dozen fights
K17 1370  7    defending your name. You never knew about it, but by
K17 1380  4    God, we taught them respect for Captain Androfski".
K17 1390  1       Andrei smiled.
K17 1390  3       "Since the war I have seen the way the Germans have
K17 1400  4    behaved and I think, Holy Mother, we have behaved like
K17 1410  2    this for hundreds of years. Why"?
K17 1410  8       "How can you tell an insane man to reason or a blind
K17 1420 10    man to see"?
K17 1420 13       "But we are neither blind nor insane. The men of
K17 1430 10    your company would not allow your name dishonored.
K17 1440  5    Why do we let the Germans do this"?
K17 1450  1       "I have sat many hours with this, Styka. All I ever
K17 1450 12    wanted was to be a free man in my own country. I've
K17 1460 12    lost faith, Styka. I used to love this country and
K17 1470  8    believe that someday we'd win our battle for equality.
K17 1480  4    But now I think I hate it very much".
K17 1490  1       "And do you really think that the world outside
K17 1490  9    Poland will care any more than we do"?
K17 1500  6       The question frightened Andrei.
K17 1510  1       "Please don't go inside Majdanek".
K17 1510  6       "I'm still a soldier in a very small way, Styka".
K17 1520  9       It was an answer that Styka understood.
K17 1530  3       Grabski's shanty was beyond the bridge over the
K17 1540  3    River Bystrzyca near the rail center. Grabski sat in
K17 1540 12    a sweat-saturated undershirt, cursing the excessive
K17 1550  5    heat which clamped an uneasy stillness before sundown.
K17 1560  4    He was a square brick of a man with a moon-round face
K17 1570  4    and sunken Polish features. Flies swarmed around the
K17 1580  1    bowl of lentils in which he mopped thick black bread.
K17 1580 11    Half of it dripped down his chin. He washed it down
K17 1590  8    with beer and produced a deep-seated belch.
K17 1600  2       "Well"? Andrei demanded.
K17 1600  5       Grabski looked at the pair of them. He grunted a
K17 1610 10    sort of "yes" answer. "My cousin works at the Labor
K17 1620  6    Bureau. He can make you work papers. It will take a
K17 1630  5    few days. I will get you inside the guard camp as a
K17 1640  1    member of my crew. I don't know if I can get you into
K17 1640 14    the inner camp. Maybe yes, maybe no, but you can observe
K17 1650  9    everything from the roof of a barrack we are building".
K17 1660  7       Grabski slurped his way to the bottom of the soup
K17 1670  5    bowl. "Can't understand why the hell anyone wants to
K17 1680  3    go inside that son-of-a-bitch place".
K17 1680 11       "Orders from the Home Army".
K17 1690  4       "Why? Nothing there but Jews".
K17 1700  1       Andrei shrugged. "We get strange orders".
K17 1700  7       "Well- what about the money"?
K17 1710  7       Andrei peeled off five one-thousand-zloty notes.
K17 1720  2    Grabski had never seen so much money. His broad flat
K17 1730  1    fingers, petrified into massive sausages by years of
K17 1730  9    bricklaying, snatched the bills clumsily. "This ain't
K17 1740  6    enough".
K17 1740  7       "You get the rest when I'm safely out of Majdanek".
K17 1750 10       "I ain't taking no goddamned chances for no Jew
K17 1760  8    business".
K17 1760  9       Andrei and Styka were silent.
K18 0010  1       She was getting real dramatic. I'd have been more
K18 0010 10    impressed if I hadn't remembered that she'd played
K18 0030  8    Hedda Gabler in her highschool dramatics course. I
K18 0040  5    didn't want her back on that broken record.
K18 0050  2       "Nothing's free in the whole goddam world", was
K18 0060  1    all I could think of to say. When I'd delivered myself
K18 0060 12    of that gem there was nothing to do but order up another
K18 0070 11    drink.
K18 0070 12       "I am", she said.
K18 0080  4       I'd forgotten all about Thelma and the Kentucky
K18 0090  1    Derby and how it was Thelma's fifty dollars I was spending.
K18 0100  1    It was just me and Eileen getting drunk together like
K18 0100 11    we used to in the old days, and me staring at her across
K18 0110 10    the table crazy to get my hands on her partly because
K18 0120  6    I wanted to wring her neck because she was so ornery
K18 0130  3    but mostly because she was so wonderful to touch. Drunk
K18 0140  1    or sober she was the most attractive woman in the world
K18 0140 12    for me. I was crazy about her all over again. It was
K18 0150  9    the call of the wild all right.
K18 0160  1       That evening turned out to be hell like all the
K18 0160 11    others. We moved down Broadway from ginmill to ginmill.
K18 0170  8    It was the same old routine. Eileen got to dancing,
K18 0180  5    just a little tiny dancing step to a hummed tune that
K18 0190  3    you could hardly notice, and trying to pick up strange
K18 0200  1    men, but each time I was ready to say to hell with
K18 0200 13    it and walk out she'd pull herself together and talk
K18 0210  6    so understandingly in that sweet husky voice about
K18 0220  4    the good times and the happiness we'd had together
K18 0230  1    and there I was back on the hook.
K18 0230  9       I did have the decency to call up Thelma and tell
K18 0240  6    her I'd met old friends and would be home late.
K18 0250  2       "I could scratch her eyes out", Eileen cried and
K18 0250 11    stamped her foot when I came back from the phone booth.
K18 0260 11    "You know I don't like my men to have other women.
K18 0270  9    I hate it. I hate it".
K18 0280  1       She got so drunk I had to take her home. It was
K18 0280 13    a walk up on Hudson Street. She just about made me
K18 0290  8    carry her upstairs and then she clung to me and wouldn't
K18 0300  7    let me go.
K18 0300 10       There was a man's jacket on the chair and a straw
K18 0310  8    hat on the table. The place smelt of some kind of hair
K18 0320  5    lotion these pimplike characters use. "What about Ballestre"?
K18 0330  2    I had to shake her to make her listen. "Precious. What
K18 0340  2    about him"?
K18 0340  4       Suddenly she was very mysterious and dramatic. "Precious
K18 0350  2    and I allow each other absolute freedom. We are above
K18 0360  2    being jealous. He's used to me bringing home strange
K18 0360 11    men. I'll just tell him you're my husband. He can't
K18 0370  9    object to that".
K18 0380  1       "Well I object. If he pokes his nose in here I'll
K18 0380 12    slug him".
K18 0390  2       "That really would be funny".
K18 0390  7       She began to laugh. She was still laughing when
K18 0400  8    I grabbed her and started rolling her on the bed. After
K18 0410  6    all I'm made of flesh and blood. I'm not a plaster
K18 0420  4    saint.
K18 0420  5       Waking up was horrible. Never in my life have I
K18 0430  3    felt so remorseful about anything I've done as I did
K18 0430 13    about spending that night with my own wife.
K18 0440  8       We both had hangovers. Eileen declared she couldn't
K18 0450  5    lift her head from the pillow. She lay under the covers
K18 0460  5    making jabbing motions with her forefinger telling
K18 0470  1    me where to look for the coffeepot. I was stumbling
K18 0470 11    in my undershirt trying to find my way around her damn
K18 0480  9    kitchenette when I smelt that sickish sweet hairtonic
K18 0490  4    smell. There was somebody else in the apartment.
K18 0500  1       I stiffened. Honest I could feel the hair stand
K18 0500 10    up on the back of my neck like a dog's that is going
K18 0510 11    to get into a fight. I turned around with the percolator
K18 0520  6    in my hand. My eyes were so bleary I could barely see
K18 0530  5    him but there he was, a little smooth olivefaced guy
K18 0540  2    in a new spring overcoat and a taffycolored fedora.
K18 0540 11    Brown eyes, eyebrow mustache. Oval face without an
K18 0550  7    expression in the world.
K18 0560  1       We didn't have time to speak before Eileen's voice
K18 0560 10    was screeching at us from the bed. "Joseph Maria Ballestre
K18 0570  9    meet Francis Xavier Bowman. Exboyfriend meet exhusband".
K18 0580  5    She gave the nastiest laugh I ever heard. "And don't
K18 0590  6    either of you forget that I'm not any man's property.
K18 0600  4    If you want to fight, go down on the sidewalk". She
K18 0610  2    was enjoying the situation. Imagine that.
K18 0610  8       Eileen was a psychologist all right. Instead of
K18 0620  8    wanting to sock the poor bastard I found myself having
K18 0630  5    a fellowfeeling for him. Maybe he felt the same way.
K18 0640  3    I never felt such a lowdown hound in my life. First
K18 0640 14    thing I knew he was in the kitchenette cooking up the
K18 0650 11    breakfast and I was handing Eileen her coffeecup and
K18 0660  6    she was lying there handsome as a queen among her courtiers.
K18 0670  5       I couldn't face Thelma after that night. I didn't
K18 0680  4    even have the nerve to call her on the telephone. I
K18 0690  2    wrote her that I'd met up with Eileen and that old
K18 0690 13    bonds had proved too strong and asked her to send my
K18 0700  9    clothes down by express. Of course I had to give her
K18 0710  7    Eileen's address, but she never came near us. All she
K18 0720  4    did was write me a pleasant little note about how it
K18 0720 15    was beautiful while it lasted but that now life had
K18 0730 10    parted our ways and it was goodbye forever. She never
K18 0740  7    said a word about the fifty dollars. She added a postscript
K18 0750  5    begging me to be careful about drinking. I must know
K18 0760  3    that that was my greatest weakness underlined three
K18 0760 11    times.
K18 0770  1       Afterwards I learned that Eileen had called Thelma
K18 0770  9    on the telephone and made a big scene about Thelma
K18 0780  8    trying to take her husband away. That finished me with
K18 0790  6    Thelma. Trust Eileen to squeeze all the drama out of
K18 0800  4    a situation.
K18 0800  6       And there I was shacked up with Eileen in that filthy
K18 0810  4    fourth floor attic on Hudson Street. I use the phrase
K18 0820  2    advisedly because there was something positively indecent
K18 0820  9    about our relationship. I felt it and it ate on me
K18 0830 11    all the time, but I didn't know how right I was till
K18 0840  8    later.
K18 0840  9       What I did know was that Precious was always around.
K18 0850  6    He slept in the hall bedroom at the head of the stairs.
K18 0860  5    "Who do you think pays the rent? You wouldn't have
K18 0870  2    me throw the poor boy out on the street", Eileen said
K18 0870 13    when I needled her about it. I said sure that was what
K18 0880 12    I wanted her to do but she paid no attention. Eileen
K18 0890  9    had a wonderful way of not listening to things she
K18 0900  4    didn't want to hear. Still I didn't think she was twotiming
K18 0910  4    me with Precious right then. To be on the safe side
K18 0920  1    I never let Eileen get out of my sight day or night.
K18 0920 13       Precious had me worried. I couldn't make out what
K18 0930  9    his racket was. I'd thought him a pimp or procurer
K18 0940  7    but he didn't seem to be. He was smooth and civil spoken
K18 0950  4    but it seemed to me there was something tough under
K18 0970  1    his selfeffacing manner. Still he let Eileen treat
K18 0970  9    him like a valet. Whenever the place was cleaned or
K18 0980  7    a meal served it was Precious who did the work.
K18 0990  5       I never could find out what his business was. He
K18 1000  2    always seemed to have money in his pocket. The phone
K18 1000 12    had been disconnected but telegrams came for him and
K18 1010  8    notes by special messenger. Now and then he would disappear
K18 1020  7    for several days. "Connections" was all he would say
K18 1030  6    with that smooth hurt smile when I put leading questions.
K18 1040  2    "Oh he's just an international spy", Eileen would shout
K18 1050  2    with her screechy laugh.
K18 1050  6       Poor devil he can't have been too happy either.
K18 1060  4    He got no relief from drink because, though sometimes
K18 1070  1    Precious would buy himself a drink if he went out with
K18 1070 12    us in the evening, he'd leave it on the table untouched.
K18 1080  9       When I was in liquor I rode him pretty hard I guess.
K18 1090  9    Occasionally if I pushed him too far he'd give me a
K18 1100  8    look out of narrowed eyes and the hard cruel bony skull
K18 1110  3    would show through that smooth face of his. "Some day",
K18 1120  1    I told Eileen, "that guy will kill us both". She just
K18 1120 12    wouldn't listen.
K18 1130  2       Getting drunk every night was the only way I could
K18 1140  2    handle the situation. Eileen seemed to feel the same
K18 1140 11    way. We still had that much in common. The trouble
K18 1150  8    was drinking cost money. The way Eileen and I were
K18 1160  6    hitting it up, we needed ten or fifteen dollars an
K18 1170  2    evening. Eileen must have wheedled a little out of
K18 1170 11    Precious. I raised some kale by hocking the good clothes
K18 1180 10    I had left over from my respectable uptown life, but
K18 1190  6    when that was gone I didn't have a cent. I don't know
K18 1200  5    what we would have done if Pat O'Dwyer hadn't come
K18 1210  2    to town.
K18 1210  4       Pat O'Dwyer looked like a heavier Jim. He had the
K18 1220  4    same bullet head of curly reddish hair but he didn't
K18 1220 14    have Jim's pokerfaced humor or his brains or his charm.
K18 1230 10    He was a big thick beefy violent man. Now Pat may have
K18 1240  9    been a lecher and a plugugly, but he was a good churchgoing
K18 1250  7    Catholic and he loved his little sister. Those O'Dwyers
K18 1260  4    had that Irish clannishness that made them stick together
K18 1280  2    in spite of politics and everything.
K18 1280  8       Pat took Eileen and me out to dinner at a swell
K18 1290  9    steak house and told us with tears in his eyes how
K18 1300  5    happy he was we had come together again. "Whom God
K18 1310  1    hath joined" etcetera. The O'Dwyers were real religious
K18 1310  9    people except for Kate. Now it would be up to me to
K18 1320 12    keep the little girl out of mischief. Pat had been
K18 1330  7    worried as hell ever since she'd lost her job on that
K18 1340  5    fashion magazine. It had gone big with the Hollywood
K18 1350  1    girls when he told them his sister was an editor of
K18 1350 12    Art and Apparel. How about me trying to help her get
K18 1360  9    her job back?
K18 1370  1       All evening Eileen had been as demure as a little
K18 1370 10    girl getting ready for her first communion. It just
K18 1380  7    about blew us both out of the water when Eileen suddenly
K18 1390  4    came out with what she came out with. "But brother
K18 1400  1    I can't take a job right now", she said with her eyes
K18 1400 13    on her ice cream, "I'm going to have a baby, Francis
K18 1410 10    Xavier's baby, my own husband's baby".
K18 1420  5       My first thought was how had it happened so soon,
K18 1430  4    but I counted back on my fingers and sure enough we'd
K18 1440  1    been living together six weeks. Pat meanwhile was bubbling
K18 1440 10    over with sentiment. Greatest thing that ever happened.
K18 1450  7    Now Eileen really would have to settle down to love
K18 1460  8    honor and obey, and she'd have to quit drinking. He'd
K18 1470  4    come East for the christening, by God he would. When
K18 1480  2    we separated that evening Pat pushed a hundred dollar
K18 1480 11    bill into Eileen's hand to help towards a layette.
K18 1490  9       Before he left town Pat saw to it that I was fixed
K18 1500 10    up with a job. Pat had contacts all over the labor
K18 1510  5    movement. A friend of Pat's named Frank Sposato had
K18 1520  2    just muscled into the Portwatchers' Union.
K18 1520  8       The portwatchers were retired longshoremen and small
K18 1530  6    time seafarers off towboats and barges who acted as
K18 1540  6    watchmen on the wharves. Most of them were elderly
K18 1550  2    men. It was responsible and sometimes dangerous work
K18 1550 10    because the thieving is awful in the port of New York.
K18 1560 11    They weren't as well paid as they should have been.
K18 1570  8    One reason the portwatchers let Sposato take them over
K18 1580  5    was to get the protection of his musclemen.
K18 1590  1       Sposato needed a front, some labor stiff with a
K18 1590 10    clean record to act as business agent of the Redhook
K18 1600  8    local. There I was a retired wobbly and structural
K18 1610  4    iron worker who'd never gouged a cent off a fellow
K18 1620  1    worker in my thirty years in the movement. For once
K18 1620 11    radicalism was a recommendation.
K18 1630  3       Sposato couldn't wait to get me hired. With my gray
K18 1640  4    hair and my weatherbeaten countenance I certainly looked
K18 1650  1    the honest working stiff. The things a man will do
K18 1650 11    for a woman.
K19 0010  1    There was one fact which Rector could not overlook,
K19 0010 10    one truth which he could not deny. As long as there
K19 0020  9    were two human beings working together on the same
K19 0030  4    project, there would be competition and you could no
K19 0040  1    more escape it than you could expect to escape the
K19 0040 11    grave. No matter how devoted a man was, no matter how
K19 0050  9    fully he gave his life to the Lord, he could never
K19 0060  4    extinguish that one spark of pride that gave him definition
K19 0070  1    as an individual. All of the jobs in the mission might
K19 0070 12    be equal in the eyes of the Lord, but they were certainly
K19 0080 11    not equal in the eyes of the Lord's servants. It was
K19 0090  8    only natural that Fletcher would strive for a position
K19 0100  5    in which he could make the decisions.
K19 0110  1       Even Rector himself was prey to this spirit of competition
K19 0110 11    and he knew it, not for a more exalted office in the
K19 0120 11    hierarchy of the church- his ambitions for the bishopry
K19 0130  8    had died very early in his career- but for the one
K19 0140  5    clear victory he had talked about to the colonel. He
K19 0150  1    was not sure how much of this desire was due to his
K19 0150 13    devotion to the church and how much was his own ego,
K19 0170  8    demanding to be satisfied, for the two were intertwined
K19 0180  3    and could not be separated. He wanted desperately to
K19 0190  2    see Kayabashi defeated, the Communists in the village
K19 0190 10    rooted out, the mission standing triumphant, for in
K19 0200  7    the triumph of the Lord he himself would be triumphant,
K19 0210  5    too. But perhaps this was a part of the eternal plan,
K19 0220  3    that man's ambition when linked with God would be a
K19 0220 13    driving, indefatigable force for good in the world.
K19 0230  8       He sighed. How foolish it was to try to fathom the
K19 0240 10    truth in an area where only faith would suffice. He
K19 0250  4    would have to work without questioning the motives
K19 0260  1    which made him work and content himself with the thought
K19 0260 11    that the eventual victory, however it was brought about,
K19 0270  8    would be sweet indeed.
K19 0280  1       His first move was to send Hino to the village to
K19 0280 12    spend a few days. His arm had been giving him some
K19 0290  8    trouble and Rector was not enough of a medical expert
K19 0300  5    to determine whether it had healed improperly or whether
K19 0310  2    Hino was simply rebelling against the tedious work
K19 0310 10    in the print shop, using the stiffness in his arm as
K19 0320  9    an excuse. In any event Rector sent him to the local
K19 0330  6    hospital to have it checked, telling him to keep his
K19 0340  3    ears open while he was in the village to see if he
K19 0340 15    could find out what Kayabashi was planning.
K19 0350  6       Hino was elated at the prospect. He was allowed
K19 0360  4    to spend his nights at an inn near the hospital and
K19 0370  2    he was given some extra money to go to the pachinko
K19 0370 13    parlor- an excellent place to make contact with the
K19 0380 11    enemy. He left with all the joyous spirit of a child
K19 0390  7    going on a holiday, nodding attentively as Rector gave
K19 0400  4    him his final instructions. He was to get involved
K19 0400 13    in no arguments; he was to try to make no converts;
K19 0410 10    he was simply to listen and report back what he heard.
K19 0420  7       It was a ridiculous situation and Rector knew it,
K19 0430  5    for Hino, frankly partisan, openly gregarious, would
K19 0440  2    make a poor espionage agent. If he wanted to know anything,
K19 0440 13    he would end up asking about it point-blank, but in
K19 0450 11    this guileless manner he would probably receive more
K19 0460  6    truthful answers than if he tried to get them by indirection.
K19 0470  5    In all of his experience in the mission field Rector
K19 0480  2    had never seen a convert quite like Hino. From the
K19 0480 12    moment that Hino had first walked into the mission
K19 0490  9    to ask for a job, any job- his qualifications neatly
K19 0500  6    written on a piece of paper in a precise hand- he had
K19 0510  3    been ready to become a Christian. He had already been
K19 0520  1    studying the Bible; he knew the fundamentals, and after
K19 0520 10    studying with Fletcher for a time he approached Rector,
K19 0530  9    announced that he wanted to be baptized and that was
K19 0540  7    that.
K19 0540  8       Rector had never been able to find out much about
K19 0550  6    Hino's past. Hino talked very little about himself
K19 0560  2    except for the infrequent times when he used a personal
K19 0560 12    illustration in connection with another subject. Putting
K19 0570  7    the pieces of this mosaic together, Rector had the
K19 0580  7    vague outlines of a biography. Hino was the fourth
K19 0590  4    son of an elderly farmer who lived on the coast, in
K19 0600  1    Chiba, and divided his life between the land and the
K19 0600 11    sea, supplementing the marginal livelihood on his small
K19 0610  7    rented farm with seasonal employment on a fishing boat.
K19 0620  5    Without exception Hino's brothers turned to either
K19 0630  3    one or both of their father's occupations, but Hino
K19 0630 12    showed a talent for neither and instead spent most
K19 0640  9    of his time on the beach where he repaired nets and
K19 0650  6    proved immensely popular as a storyteller. He had gone
K19 0660  4    into the Japanese navy, had been trained as an officer,
K19 0670  1    had participated in one or two battles- he never went
K19 0670 11    into detail regarding his military experience- and
K19 0680  6    at the age of twenty-five, quite as a bolt out of the
K19 0690  8    blue, he had walked into the mission as if he belonged
K19 0700  3    here and had become a Christian. Rector was often curious;
K19 0710  1    often tempted to ask questions but he never did. If
K19 0710 11    and when Hino decided to tell him about his experiences,
K19 0720  8    he would do so unasked.
K19 0730  1       Rector had no doubt that Hino would come back from
K19 0730 11    the village bursting with information, ready to impart
K19 0740  7    it with his customary gusto, liberally embellished
K19 0750  3    with his active imagnation. When the telephone rang
K19 0760  2    on the day after Hino went down to the village, Rector
K19 0760 13    had a hunch it would be Hino with some morsel of information
K19 0770 12    too important to wait until his return, for there were
K19 0780  9    few telephones in the village and the phone in Rector's
K19 0790  6    office rarely rang unless it was important. He was
K19 0800  3    surprised to find Kayabashi's secretary on the other
K19 0810  1    end of the line. He was even more startled when he
K19 0810 12    heard what Kayabashi wanted. The oyabun was entertaining
K19 0820  6    a group of dignitaries, the secretary said, businessmen
K19 0830  4    from Tokyo for the most part, and Kayabashi wished
K19 0840  2    to show them the mission. They had never seen one before
K19 0850  1    and had expressed a curiosity about it.
K19 0850  8       "Oh"? Rector said. "I guess it will be all right.
K19 0860  9    When would the oyabun like to bring his guests up here"?
K19 0870  7       "This afternoon", the secretary said. "At three
K19 0880  5    o'clock if it will be of convenience to you at that
K19 0890  4    time".
K19 0890  5       "All right", Rector said. "I will be expecting them".
K19 0900  4       He was about to hang up the phone, but a note of
K19 0910  4    hesitancy in the secretary's voice left the conversation
K19 0920  1    open. He had something more to say. "I beg to inquire
K19 0920 12    if the back is now safe for travelers", he said.
K19 0930  8       Rector laughed despite himself. "Unless the oyabun
K19 0940  5    has been working on it", he said, then checked himself
K19 0950  4    and added: "You can tell Kayabashi-san that the back
K19 0960  4    road is in very good condition and will be quite safe
K19 0960 15    for his party to use".
K19 0970  5       "Arigato gosaimasu". The secretary sighed with relief
K19 0980  4    and then the telephone clicked in Rector's hand.
K19 0990  2       Rector had no idea why Kayabashi wanted to visit
K19 0990 11    the mission. For the oyabun to make such a trip was
K19 1000 10    either a sign of great weakness or an indication of
K19 1010  6    equally great confidence, and from all the available
K19 1020  3    information it was probably the latter. Kayabashi must
K19 1030  1    feel fairly certain of his victory in order to make
K19 1030 11    a visit like this, a trip which could be so easily
K19 1040  8    misinterpreted by the people in the village. At the
K19 1050  3    same time, it was unlikely that any businessmen would
K19 1050 12    spend a day in a Christian mission out of mere curiosity.
K19 1060 11    No, Kayabashi was bringing his associates here for
K19 1070  7    a specific purpose and Rector would not be able to
K19 1080  6    fathom it until they arrived.
K19 1080 11       When he had given the call a few moments thought,
K19 1090  8    he went into the kitchen to ask Mrs& Yamata to prepare
K19 1100  5    tea and sushi for the visitors, using the formal English
K19 1110  4    china and the silver tea service which had been donated
K19 1120  2    to the mission, then he went outside to inspect the
K19 1120 12    grounds. Fujimoto had a pile of cuttings near one side
K19 1130  9    of the lawn. Rector asked him to move it for the time
K19 1140  8    being; he wanted the mission compound to be effortlessly
K19 1150  4    spotless. A good initial impression would be important
K19 1160  1    now. He went into the print shop, where Fletcher had
K19 1160 11    just finished cleaning the press.
K19 1170  4       "How many pamphlets do we have in stock"? Rector
K19 1180  2    said.
K19 1180  3       "I should say about a hundred thousand", Fletcher
K19 1190  2    said. "Why"?
K19 1190  4       "I would like to enact a little tableau this afternoon",
K19 1200  6    Rector said, He explained about the visit and the effect
K19 1210  6    he wished to create, the picture of a very busy mission.
K19 1220  2    He did not wish to deceive Kayabashi exactly, just
K19 1220 11    to display the mission activities in a graphic and
K19 1230  8    impressive manner. Fletcher nodded as he listened to
K19 1240  6    the instructions and said he would arrange the things
K19 1250  3    Rector requested.
K19 1250  5       Rector's next stop was at the schoolroom, where
K19 1260  4    Mavis was monitoring a test. He beckoned to her from
K19 1270  2    the door and she slipped quietly outside. He told her
K19 1270 12    of the visitors and then of his plans. "How many children
K19 1280  9    do you have present today"? he said.
K19 1290  4       She looked back toward the schoolroom. "Fifteen",
K19 1300  2    she said. "No, only fourteen. The little Ito girl had
K19 1310  2    to go home. She has a pretty bad cold".
K19 1310 11       "I would like them to appear very busy today, not
K19 1320  9    busy exactly, but joyous, exuberant, full of life.
K19 1330  4    I want to create the impression of a compound full
K19 1340  2    of children. Do you think you can manage it"?
K19 1340 11       Mavis smiled. "I'll try".
K19 1350  4       As Rector was walking back toward the residential
K19 1360  3    hall, Johnson came out of the basement and bounded
K19 1360 12    up to him. The altercation in the coffee house had
K19 1370 10    done little to dampen his spirits, but he was still
K19 1380  7    a little wary around Rector for they had not yet discussed
K19 1390  5    the incident. "I think I've fixed the pump so we won't
K19 1400  4    have to worry about it for a long time", he said. "I've
K19 1410  1    adjusted the gauge so that the pump cuts out before
K19 1410 11    the water gets too low".
K19 1420  4       "Fine", Rector said. He looked out over the expanse
K19 1430  3    of the compound. It was going to take a lot of activity
K19 1440  1    to fill it. "Have you ever operated a transit"? he
K19 1440 11    said.
K19 1450  1       "No, sir", Johnson said.
K19 1450  5       "You are about to become a first-class surveyor",
K19 1460  4    Rector said. "When Konishi gets back with the jeep,
K19 1470  3    I want you to round up two or three Japanese boys.
K19 1470 14    Konishi can help you. You'll find an old transit in
K19 1480 10    the basement. The glass is out of it, but that won't
K19 1490  9    matter. It looks pretty efficient and that's the important
K19 1500  5    thing". He went on to explain what he had in mind.
K19 1510  4    Johnson nodded. He said he could do it.
K19 1510 12       Rector was warming to his over-all strategy by the
K19 1520 10    time he got back to the residential hall. It was rather
K19 1530  5    a childish game, all in all, but everybody seemed to
K19 1540  3    be getting into the spirit of the thing and he could
K19 1540 14    not remember when he had enjoyed planning anything
K19 1550  8    quite so much. He was not sure what effect it would
K19 1560  7    have, but that was really beside the point when you
K19 1570  3    got right down to it. He was not going to lose the
K19 1570 15    mission by default, and whatever reason Kayabashi had
K19 1580  8    for bringing his little sight-seeing group to the mission,
K19 1590  7    he was going to be in for a surprise.
K19 1600  1       He found Elizabeth in the parlor and asked her to
K19 1600 11    make sure everything was in order in the residential
K19 1610  9    hall, and then to take charge of the office while the
K19 1620  7    party was here. When everything had been done, Rector
K19 1630  3    went back to his desk to occupy himself with his monthly
K19 1640  1    report until three o'clock.
K19 1640  5       At two thirty he sent Fujimoto to the top of the
K19 1650  6    wall at the northeast corner of the mission to keep
K19 1660  2    an eye on the ridge road and give a signal when he
K19 1660 14    first glimpsed the approach of Kayabashi's party. Then
K19 1670  7    Rector, attired in his best blue serge suit, sat in
K19 1680  6    a chair out on the lawn, in the shade of a tree, smoking
K19 1690  3    a cigarette and waiting. The air was cooler here, and
K19 1690 13    the lacy pattern of the trees threw a dappled shadow
K19 1700 10    on the grass, an effect which he found pleasant.
K20 0010  1       She concluded by asking him to name another hour
K20 0010 10    should this one be inconvenient.
K20 0020  3       The fish took the bait. He replied that he could
K20 0030  2    not imagine what importance there might be in thus
K20 0030 11    meeting with a stranger, but- joy of joys, he would
K20 0040  9    be at home at the hour mentioned.
K20 0050  1       But when she called he had thought better of the
K20 0050 11    matter and decided not to involve himself in a new
K20 0060 10    entanglement. She was told by the manservant who opened
K20 0070  6    the door that his lordship was engaged on work from
K20 0080  4    which he had left strict orders he was not to be disturbed.
K20 0090  1    Claire was bitterly disappointed but determined not
K20 0090  8    to let the rebuff daunt her purpose. She wrote again
K20 0100  7    and now, abandoning for the moment the theme of love,
K20 0110  5    she asked for help in the matter of her career. She
K20 0120  2    could act and she could write. His lordship was concerned
K20 0120 12    in the management of Drury Lane but, if there were
K20 0130  9    no opportunities there, would he read and criticize
K20 0140  6    her novel?
K20 0140  8       At last he consented to meet her, and following
K20 0150  6    that brief interview Claire wrote him a yet more remarkable
K20 0160  4    proposal:
K20 0160  5       Have you any objection to the following plan? On
K20 0170  4    Thursday evening we may go out of town together by
K20 0180  2    some stage or mail about the distance of ten or twelve
K20 0180 13    miles. There we shall be free and unknown; we can return
K20 0190 10    the following morning **h
K20 0200  2       She concluded by asking for a brief interview- "to
K20 0200 11    settle with you where"- and she threw in a tribute
K20 0210 10    to his "gentle manners" and "the wild originality of
K20 0220  7    your countenance".
K20 0230  1       She opened his reply with trembling fingers **h
K20 0230  9    he agreed! And he would see her that evening. Victory
K20 0240  8    at last!
K20 0240 10       At their meeting he told her not to bother about
K20 0250  9    "where"- he would attend to that. There was one of
K20 0260  7    the new forte-pianos in the room and, as Claire rose
K20 0270  2    to go, he asked her to sing him one song before she
K20 0270 14    left. She sang him Scott's charming ballad "Rosabelle",
K20 0280  8    which was the vogue of the moment. She had never sung
K20 0290  9    better.
K20 0290 10       "Your voice is delightful", he approved with a warm
K20 0300  8    smile. "Tomorrow will be a new experience- I have never
K20 0310  8    before made love to a nightingale **h. There have been
K20 0320  5    cooing doves, chattering magpies, thieving jackdaws,
K20 0330  1    a proud peacock, a silly goose, and a harpy eagle-
K20 0330 11    whom I was silly enough to mate with and who is now
K20 0340 10    busy tearing at my vitals".
K20 0350  1       And so they went, he choosing of all places an inn
K20 0350 12    near Medmenham Abbey, scene a generation ago of the
K20 0360  8    obscene orgies of the Hellfire Club. He regaled Claire
K20 0370  5    with an account of the mock mass performed by the cassocked
K20 0380  4    bloods, which he had had at firsthand from old Bud
K20 0390  2    Dodington, one of the leaders of the so-called "Order".
K20 0390 12    Each wore the monkish scourge at his waist but this,
K20 0400 10    it seems, was not employed for self-flagellation **h.
K20 0410  6    Naked girls danced in the chancel of the Abbey, the
K20 0420  5    youngest and seemingly the most innocent being chosen
K20 0430  1    to read a sermon filled with veiled depravities.
K20 0430  9       The jaded amorist conjured up pictures of the blasphemous
K20 0440  8    rites with relish. Alas, all that belonged to the age
K20 0450  7    of "Devil Dashwood" and "Wicked Wilkes", abbot and
K20 0460  4    beadsman of the Order! The casual seduction of a
K20 0470   3   seventeen-year-old
K20 0470  6    bluestocking seemed tame by comparison.
K20 0480  1       They passed close by the turn to Bishopsgate. A
K20 0480 10    scant half mile away Shelley and Mary were doubtless
K20 0490  7    sitting on their diminutive terrace, the air about
K20 0500  4    them scented with stock, and listening to the nightingale
K20 0510  1    who had nested in the big lime tree at the foot of
K20 0510 13    the garden. Charming and peaceful- but what were charm
K20 0520  7    and peace compared to high adventure? Alone with the
K20 0530  4    fabulous Byron! How many women had longed for the privilege
K20 0540  4    that was hers.
K20 0540  7       How was she to behave, Claire wondered. To be passive,
K20 0550  5    to be girlishly shy was palpably absurd. She was the
K20 0560  4    pursuer as clearly as was Venus in Shakespeare's poem.
K20 0570  1    And while her Adonis did not suffer from inexperience,
K20 0570 10    satiety might well be an equal handicap. No, she would
K20 0580  9    not pretend modesty, but neither must she be crudely
K20 0590  6    bold. Mystery- that was the thing. In the bedroom she
K20 0600  4    would insist on darkness. With his club foot he might
K20 0610  1    well be grateful.
K20 0610  4       At the inn, which was situated close to a broad
K20 0620  2    weir, Byron was greeted by the landlord with obsequious
K20 0620 11    deference and addressed as "milord". The place was
K20 0630  8    evidently a familiar haunt and Claire wondered what
K20 0640  6    other illicit loves had been celebrated in the comfortable
K20 0650  4    rooms to which they were shown.
K20 0650 10       The fire in the sitting room was lighted.
K20 0660  7       "What about the bedroom"? Byron inquired. "Seems
K20 0670  4    to me last time I was here the grate bellowed out smoke
K20 0680  3    as it might have been preparing us for hell".
K20 0690  1       "We found some owls had built a nest in the chimney,
K20 0690 12    milord, but I promise you you'll never have trouble
K20 0700  8    of that sort again".
K20 0710  1       So, not only had he been here before, but it seemed
K20 0710 12    he might well come again. Claire felt suddenly small
K20 0720  7    and cheap, heroine of a trivial episode in the voluminous
K20 0730  5    history of Don Juan.
K20 0730  9       A cold supper was ordered and a bottle of port.
K20 0740  8    When Napoleon's ship had borne him to Elba, French
K20 0750  5    wines had started to cross the Channel, the first shipments
K20 0760  2    in a dozen war-ridden years, but the supplies had not
K20 0760 13    yet reached rural hostelries where the sweet wines
K20 0770  8    of the Spanish peninsula still ruled.
K20 0780  3       As they waited for supper they sat by the fire,
K20 0790  2    glasses in hand, while Byron philosophized as much
K20 0790 10    for his own entertainment as hers.
K20 0800  4       "Sex is overpriced", he said. "The great Greek tragedies
K20 0810  4    are concerned with man against Fate, not man against
K20 0820  3    man for the prize of a woman's body. So don't see yourself
K20 0830  1    as a heroine or fancy this little adventure is an event
K20 0830 12    of major importance".
K20 0840  2       "The gods seemed to think sex pretty important",
K20 0850  1    she rebutted. "Mars and Venus, Bacchus and Ariadne,
K20 0850  9    Jupiter and Io, Byron and the nymph of the owl's nest.
K20 0860 11    That would be Minerva, I suppose. Wasn't the owl her
K20 0870  8    symbol"?
K20 0870  9       Byron laughed. "So you know something of the classics,
K20 0880  9    do you"?
K20 0890  1       "Tell me about Minerva, how she behaved, what she
K20 0890 10    did to please you".
K20 0900  2       "I'll tell you nothing. I don't ask you who 'tis
K20 0910  1    you're being unfaithful to, husband or lover. Frankly,
K20 0910  9    I don't care".
K20 0920  2       For a moment she thought of answering with the truth
K20 0930  1    but she knew there were men who shied away from virginity,
K20 0930 12    who demanded some degree of education in body as well
K20 0950  8    as mind.
K20 0950 10       "Very well", she said, "I'll not catechize you.
K20 0960  7    What matter the others so long as I have my place in
K20 0970  7    history".
K20 0970  8       She was striking the right note. No man ever had
K20 0980  6    a better opinion of himself and indeed, with one so
K20 0990  3    favored, flattery could hardly seem overdone. Brains
K20 0990 10    and beauty, high position in both the social and intellectual
K20 1000  9    worlds, athlete, fabled lover- if ever the world was
K20 1010  8    any man's oyster it was his.
K20 1020  1       The light supper over, Claire went to him and, slipping
K20 1020 11    an arm about his shoulder, sat on his knee. He drew
K20 1030 10    her close and, hand on cheek, turned her face to his.
K20 1040  7    Her lips, moist and parted, spoke his name.
K20 1050  2       "Byron"!
K20 1050  3       His hand went to her shoulder and pushed aside the
K20 1060  4    knotted scarf that surmounted the striped poplin gown;
K20 1070  1    then, to better purpose, he took hold of the knot and
K20 1070 12    with dextrous fingers, untied it. The bodice beneath
K20 1080  7    was buttoned and, withdrawing his lips from hers, he
K20 1090  6    set her upright on his knee and started to undo it,
K20 1100  3    unhurriedly as if she were a child.
K20 1100 10       But, kindled by his kiss, his caressing hand, her
K20 1110  7    desire was aflame. She sprang up and went swiftly to
K20 1120  4    the bedroom. Lord Byron poured himself another glass
K20 1130  1    of wine and held it up to the candle flame admiring
K20 1130 12    the rich color. He drank slowly with due appreciation.
K20 1140  7    It was an excellent vintage.
K20 1150  1       He rose and went to the bedroom. Pausing in the
K20 1150 11    doorway he said: "The form of the human female, unlike
K20 1160  8    her mind and her spirit, is the most challenging loveliness
K20 1170  6    in all nature".
K20 1170  9    ##
K20 1170 10    When Claire returned to Bishopsgate she longed to tell
K20 1180  8    them she had become Byron's mistress. By odd coincidence,
K20 1190  6    on the evening of her return Shelley chose to read
K20 1200  5    Parisina, which was the latest of the titled poet's
K20 1210  2    successes. As he declaimed the sonorous measures, it
K20 1210 10    was as much as Claire could do to restrain herself
K20 1220 10    from bursting out with her dramatic tidings.
K20 1230  4       "Although it is not the best of which he is capable",
K20 1240  4    said Shelley as he closed the book, "it is still poetry
K20 1250  2    of a high order".
K20 1250  6       "If he would only leave the East", said Mary. "I
K20 1260  4    am tired of sultans and scimitars".
K20 1270  1       "The hero of his next poem is Napoleon Bonaparte",
K20 1270  9    said Claire, with slightly overdone carelessness.
K20 1280  5       "How do you know that"? demanded Mary.
K20 1290  3       "I was told it on good authority", Claire answered
K20 1300  3    darkly. "I mustn't tell, I mustn't tell", she repeated
K20 1310  3    to herself. "I promised him I wouldn't".
K20 1310 10    #CHAPTER 9#
K20 1320  2    WINTER CAME, and with it Mary's baby- a boy as she
K20 1330  1    had wished. William, he was called, in honor of the
K20 1330 11    man who was at once Shelley's pensioner and his most
K20 1340  6    bitter detractor. With a pardonable irony Shelley wrote
K20 1350  4    to the father who had publicly disowned his daughter:
K20 1360  2       "Fanny and Mrs& Godwin will probably be glad to
K20 1370  2    hear that Mary has safely recovered from a very favorable
K20 1370 12    confinement, and that her child is well".
K20 1380  7       At the same time another child- this one of Shelley's
K20 1390  5    brain- was given to the world: Alastor, a poem of pervading
K20 1400  6    beauty in which the reader may gaze into the still
K20 1410  4    depths of a fine mind's musings. Alastor was published
K20 1420  1    only to be savagely attacked, contemptuously ignored.
K20 1420  8    Shelley sent a copy to Southey, a former friend, and
K20 1430 10    another to Godwin. Neither acknowledged the gift.
K20 1440  4       Only Mary's praise sustained him in his disappointment.
K20 1450  4    She understood completely. Not a thought nor a cadence
K20 1460  3    was missed in her summary of appreciation.
K20 1460 10       "You have made the labor worth while", he said to
K20 1470 10    her, smiling. "And in the future, since I write for
K20 1480  7    a public of one, I can save the poor publishers from
K20 1490  3    wasting their money".
K20 1490  6       "A public of one", Mary echoed reprovingly. "how
K20 1500  5    can you say such a thing? There will be thousands who
K20 1510  5    will thrill to the loveliness of Alastor. There are
K20 1520  2    some even now. What about that dear, clever Mr& Thynne?
K20 1530  1    I am sure he is in raptures".
K20 1530  8       "Poor Mr& Thynne, he always has to be trotted out
K20 1540  7    for my encouragement".
K20 1540 10       "There are other Mr& Thynnes. Not everyone is bewitched
K20 1550  9    by Byron's caliphs and harem beauties".
K20 1560  5       Mary's supercritical attitude toward Byron had nothing
K20 1570  5    to do with his moral disrepute. She was resentful of
K20 1580  2    his easy success as compared with Shelley's failure.
K20 1580 10    The same month that Alastor was published, Murray sold
K20 1590  8    twenty thousand copies of The Siege of Corinth, a slovenly
K20 1600  9    bit of Byronism that even Shelley's generosity rebelled
K20 1610  5    at.
K20 1610  6    ##
K20 1610  7    The lordly poet was at low-water mark. The careless
K20 1620  7    writing was in keeping with his mood of savage discontent.
K20 1630  4    On all sides doors were being slammed in his face.
K20 1640  2    The previous scandals, gaily diverting as they were,
K20 1640 10    had only served to increase his popularity. Now, under
K20 1650  8    the impact of his wife's disclosures, he was brought
K20 1660  5    suddenly to the realization that there was a limit
K20 1670  4    to tolerance, however brilliant, however far-famed
K20 1670 11    the offender might be. He tried defiance and openly
K20 1680  8    flaunted his devotion to his half sister, but he soon
K20 1690  8    saw, as did she, that this course if persisted in would
K20 1700  3    involve them in a common ruin. For the moment there
K20 1710  1    was no woman in his life, and it was this vacuum that
K20 1710 13    had given Claire her opportunity.
K20 1720  3       But the liaison successfully started in the last
K20 1730  2    days of autumn was now languishing. Byron, since the
K20 1730 11    separation from his wife had been living in a smallish
K20 1740 10    house in Piccadilly Terrace. He refused to bring Claire
K20 1750  6    to it even as an occasional visitor, claiming that
K20 1760  3    his every move was watched by spies of the Milbankes.
K21 0010  1       Beckworth handed the pass to the colonel. He had
K21 0010 10    thought that the suggestion of taking it himself would
K21 0020  8    tip the colonel in the direction of serving his own
K21 0030  5    order, but the slip of paper was folded and absently
K21 0040  1    thrust into the colonel's belt. Despite his yearning,
K21 0040  9    the colonel would not go down to see the men come through
K21 0050 11    the lines. He would remain in the tent, waiting impatiently,
K21 0060  7    occupied by some trivial task.
K21 0070  1       -Beckworth.
K21 0070  2       -Sir?
K21 0070  2       -Fetch me the copies of everything ~B and ~C companies
K21 0080  8    have requisitioned in the last six months.
K21 0090  2       -The last six months, sir?
K21 0090  6       -You heard me. There's a lot of waste going on here.
K21 0100 11    It's got to stop. I want to take a look. This is no
K21 0110 10    damned holiday, Beckworth. Get busy.
K21 0120  1       -Yes, sir.
K21 0120  2       Beckworth left the tent. Below he could see the
K21 0130  5    bright torches lighting the riverbank. He glanced back.
K21 0140  1    The colonel crouched tensely on one of the folding
K21 0140 10    chairs, methodically tearing at his thumbnail.
K21 0150  5    #@ 9 @#
K21 0150  8    THE BOMBPROOF was a low-ceilinged structure of heavy
K21 0160  7    timbers covered with earth. It stood some fifty paces
K21 0170  5    from the edge of the bank. From the outside, it seemed
K21 0180  2    no more than a low drumlin, a lump on the dark earth.
K21 0180 14    A crude ladder ran down to a wooden floor. Two slits
K21 0190 10    enabled observers to watch across the river. The place
K21 0200  6    smelled strongly of rank, fertile earth, rotting wood
K21 0210  3    and urine. The plank floor was slimed beneath Watson's
K21 0220  1    boots. At least the Union officer had been decent enough
K21 0220 11    to provide a candle. There was no place to sit, but
K21 0230 10    Watson walked slowly from the ladder to the window
K21 0240  7    slits and back, stooping slightly to avoid striking
K21 0250  2    his head on the heavy beams. In the corner was the
K21 0250 13    soldier with the white flag. He stood stiffly erect,
K21 0260  9    clutching the staff, his body half hidden by the limp
K21 0270  7    cloth. Watson hardly looked at him. The man had come
K21 0280  4    floundering aboard the flat-bottomed barge at the last
K21 0290  1    instant, brandishing the flag of truce. Someone had
K21 0290  9    hauled him over the side, and he had remained silent
K21 0300  8    while they crossed.
K21 0300 11       An officer with a squad of men had been waiting
K21 0310  9    on the bank. The men in the boats had started yelling
K21 0320  5    happily at first sight of the officer, two of them
K21 0330  3    calling him Billy. When the boat had touched, the weaker
K21 0330 13    ones and the two wounded men had been lifted out and
K21 0340 11    carried away by the soldiers. Watson had presented
K21 0360  5    his pouch and been led to the bombproof. The officer
K21 0370  3    had told him that both lists must be checked. Watson
K21 0380  1    had given his name and asked for a safe-conduct pass.
K21 0380 12    The officer, surprised, said he would have to see.
K21 0390  7    Watson had nodded absently and muttered that he would
K21 0400  4    check the lists himself later. He had peered through
K21 0410  1    the darkness at the rampart. The men he would take
K21 0410 11    back across the river stood there, but he turned away
K21 0420  9    from them. He wanted no part of the emotions of the
K21 0430  6    exchange, no memory of the joy and gratitude that other
K21 0440  3    men felt. He had hoped to be alone in the bombproof,
K21 0440 14    but the soldier had followed him. Though Watson carefully
K21 0450  8    ignored the man, he could not deny his presence. Perhaps
K21 0460  8    it would be better to speak to him, since silence could
K21 0470  6    not exorcise his form. Watson glanced briefly at him,
K21 0480  3    seeing only a body rigidly erect behind the languid
K21 0480 12    banner.
K21 0490  2       -We won't be too long. If my pass is approved, I
K21 0490 13    may be a half hour.
K21 0500  5       The soldier answered in a curious, muffled voice,
K21 0510  1    his lips barely moving. Watson turned away and did
K21 0510 10    not see the man's knees buckle and his body sag.
K21 0520  6       -Yes, sir.
K21 0520  8       He had acknowledged the man. It was easier to think
K21 0530 10    now, Watson decided. The stiff figure in the corner
K21 0540  7    no longer blocked his thoughts. He paced slowly, stooping,
K21 0550  4    staring at the damp, slippery floor. He tried to order
K21 0560  3    the words of the three Union officers, seeking to create
K21 0560 13    some coherent portrait of the dead boy. But he groped
K21 0570 10    blindly. His lack of success steadily eroded his interest.
K21 0580  7    He stopped pacing, leaned against the dank, timbered
K21 0590  5    wall and let his mind drift. A feeling of futility,
K21 0600  2    an enervation of mind greater than any fatigue he had
K21 0600 12    ever known, seeped through him. What in the name of
K21 0610  9    God was he doing, crouched in a timbered pit on the
K21 0620  7    wrong bank of the river? Why had he crossed the dark
K21 0630  3    water, to bring back a group of reclaimed soldiers
K21 0630 12    or to skulk in a foul-smelling hole?
K21 0640  8       He grew annoyed and at the same time surprised at
K21 0650  5    that emotion. He was conscious of a growing sense of
K21 0660  2    absurdity. Hillman had written it all out, hadn't he?
K21 0660 11    Wasn't the report official enough? What did he hope
K21 0670  9    to accomplish here? Hillman had ordered him not to
K21 0680  7    leave the far bank. Prompted by a guilty urge, he had
K21 0690  6    disobeyed the order of a man he respected. For what?
K21 0700  2    To tell John something he would find out for himself.
K21 0710  1       The figure in the corner belched loudly, a deep,
K21 0710 10    liquid eruption. Watson snorted and then laughed aloud.
K21 0720  6    Exactly!
K21 0720  7       The soldier's voice was muffled again, stricken
K21 0730  6    with chagrin. He clutched the staff, and his dark eyes
K21 0740  5    blinked apologetically.
K21 0740  6       -'Scuse me, sir.
K21 0750  1       -Let's get out of here.
K21 0750  5       Watson ran up the ladder and stood for a second
K21 0760  6    sucking in the cool air that smelled of mud and river
K21 0770  3    weeds. To his left, the two skiffs dented their sharp
K21 0770 13    bows into the soft bank. The flat-bottomed boat swung
K21 0780 10    slowly to the pull of the current. A soldier held the
K21 0790  8    end of a frayed rope.
K21 0790 13       Three Union guards appeared, carrying their rifles
K21 0800  7    at ready. Watson stared at them curiously. They were
K21 0810  4    stocky men, well fed and clean-shaven, with neat uniforms
K21 0820  3    and sturdy boots. Behind them shambled a long column
K21 0820 12    of weak, tattered men. The thin gray figures raised
K21 0830  9    a hoarse, cawing cry like the call of a bird flock.
K21 0840  8    They moved toward the skiffs with shocking eagerness,
K21 0850  2    elbowing and shoving. Four men were knocked down, but
K21 0860  1    did not attempt to rise. They crept down the muddy
K21 0860 11    slope toward the waiting boats. The Union soldiers
K21 0870  6    grounded arms and settled into healthy, indifferent
K21 0880  2    postures to watch the feeble boarding of the skiffs.
K21 0890  1    The crawling men tried to rise and fell again. No one
K21 0890 12    moved to them. Watson watched two of them flounder
K21 0900  7    into the shallow water and listened to their voices
K21 0910  4    beg shrilly. In a confused, soaked and stumbling shift
K21 0920  2    of bodies and lifting arms, the two men were dragged
K21 0920 12    into the same skiff. The third crawling man forced
K21 0930  8    himself erect. He swayed like a drunkard, his arms
K21 0940  6    milling in slow circles. He paced forward unsteadily,
K21 0950  1    leaning too far back, his head tilted oddly. His steps
K21 0950 11    were short and stiff, and, with his head thrown back,
K21 0960 10    his progress was a supercilious strut. He appeared
K21 0970  5    to be peering haughtily down his nose at the crowded
K21 0980  4    and unclean vessel that would carry him to freedom.
K21 0980 13    He stalked into the water and fell heavily over the
K21 0990 10    side of the flat-bottomed barge, his weight nearly
K21 1000  5    swamping the craft. Watson looked for the fourth man.
K21 1010  4    He had reached the three passive guards; he crept in
K21 1020  2    an incertain manner, patting the ground before him.
K21 1020 10    The guards did not look at him. The figure on the earth
K21 1030 10    halted, seemingly bewildered. He sank back on his thin
K21 1040  7    haunches like a weary hound. Then he began to crawl
K21 1050  3    again. Watson watched the creeping figure. He felt
K21 1050 11    a spectator interest. Would the man make it or not?
K21 1060  9    If only there was a clock for him to crawl against.
K21 1070  7    If he failed to reach the riverbank in five minutes,
K21 1080  4    say, then the skiffs would pull away and leave him
K21 1080 14    groping in the mud. Say three minutes to make it sporting.
K21 1090 11    Still the guards did not move, but stood inert, aloof
K21 1100  8    from the slow-scrambling man. The figure halted, and
K21 1110  5    Watson gasped. The man began to creep in the wrong
K21 1120  3    direction, deceived by a slight rise in the ground!
K21 1120 12    He turned slowly and began to crawl back up the bank
K21 1130 10    toward the rampart. Watson raced for him, his boots
K21 1140  6    slamming the soft earth.
K21 1140 10       The guards came to life with astonishing menace.
K21 1150  7    They spun and flung their rifles up. Watson gesticulated
K21 1160  4    wildly. One man dropped to his knee for better aim.
K21 1170  2       -Let me help him, for the love of God!
K21 1180  1       The guards lowered their rifles and their rifles
K21 1180  9    and peered at Watson with sullen, puzzled faces. Watson
K21 1190  6    pounded to the crawling man and stopped, panting heavily.
K21 1200  4    He reached down and closed his fingers on the man's
K21 1210  3    upper arm. Beneath his clutch, a flat strip of muscle
K21 1210 13    surged on the bone. Watson bent awkwardly and lifted
K21 1220  9    the man to his feet. Watson stared into a cadaverous
K21 1230  6    face. Two clotted balls the color of mucus rolled between
K21 1240  5    fiery lids. Light sticks of fingers, the tips gummy
K21 1250  2    with dark earth, patted at Watson's throat. The man's
K21 1250 11    voice was a sweet, patient whisper.
K21 1260  5       -Henry said that he'd take my arm and get me right
K21 1270  7    there. But you ain't Henry.
K21 1270 11       -No.
K21 1280  2       -It don't matter. Is it far?
K21 1280  8       How far could it be, Watson thought bleakly, how
K21 1290  7    far can a blind man crawl? Another body length or all
K21 1300  5    the rest of his nighted life?
K21 1300 10       -Not far.
K21 1310  1       -You talk deep. Not like us fellas. It raises the
K21 1310 10    voice, bein in camp. You Secesh?
K21 1320  5       -Yes. Come on, now. Can you walk?
K21 1330  2       -Why, course I can. I can walk real good.
K21 1340  1       Watson stumbled down the bank. The man leaned his
K21 1340 10    frail body against Watson's shoulder. He was no heavier
K21 1350  8    than a child. Watson paused for breath. The man wheezed
K21 1360  7    weakly, his fetid breath beating softly against Watson's
K21 1370  4    neck. His sweet whisper came after great effort.
K21 1380  2       -Oh, Christ **h. I wish you was Henry **h. He promised
K21 1390  1    to take me.
K21 1390  3       -Hush. We're almost there.
K21 1390  7       Watson supported the man to the edge of the bank
K21 1400 10    and passed the frail figure over the bow of the nearest
K21 1420  7    skiff. The man swayed on a thwart, turning his ruined
K21 1430  3    eyes from side to side. Watson turned away, sickened
K21 1430 12    for the first time in many months. He heard the patient
K21 1440 11    voice calling.
K21 1450  2       -Henry? Where are you, Henry?
K21 1450  6       -Make him lie down!
K21 1460  2       Watson snatched a deep breath. He had not meant
K21 1460 11    to shout. He stood with his back to the skiff. The
K21 1470 10    men mewed and scratched, begging to be taken away.
K21 1480  6    Watson spoke bewilderedly to the dark night flecked
K21 1490  2    with pine-knot torches.
K21 1490  5       -Goddamn you! What do you do to them?
K21 1500  6       Intelligence jabbed at him accusingly. He was angry,
K21 1510  4    sickened. He had not felt that during the afternoon.
K21 1520  1    No, nor later. All his emotions had been inward, self-conscious.
K21 1520 12    In war, on a night like this, it was only the outward
K21 1530 12    emotions that mattered, what could be flung out into
K21 1540  7    the darkness to damage others. Yes. That was it. He
K21 1550  5    was sure of it.
K21 1550  9       John's type of man allowed this sort of thing to
K21 1560  6    happen. What a fool he had been to think of his brother!
K21 1570  3    So Charles was dead. What did it matter? His name had
K21 1580  2    been crossed off a list. Already his cool body lay
K21 1580 12    in the ground. What words had any meaning? What had
K21 1590  8    he thought of, to go to John, grovel and beg understanding?
K21 1600  5    To confess with a canvas chair as a prie-dieu, gouging
K21 1610  5    at his heart until a rough and stupid hand bade him
K21 1620  2    rise and go? Men were slaughtered every day, tumbled
K21 1620 11    into eternity like so many torn parcels flung down
K21 1630  8    a portable chute. What made him think John had a right
K21 1640  7    to witness his brother's humiliation? What right had
K21 1650  4    John to any special consideration? Was John better,
K21 1660  1    more deserving? To hell with John. Let him chafe with
K21 1660 11    impatience to see Charles, rip open the note with trembling
K21 1670 10    hands and read the formal report in Hillman's beautiful,
K21 1680  7    schoolmaster's hand. John would curse. He believed
K21 1690  5    that brave boys didn't cry.
K21 1690 10       Watson spat on the ground. He was grimly satisfied.
K21 1700  9    He had stupidly thought himself compelled to ease his
K21 1710  6    brother's pain. Now he knew perfectly that he had but
K21 1720  5    longed to increase his own suffering.
K22 0010  1       I WOULD not want to be one of those writers who
K22 0010 12    begin each morning by exclaiming, "O Gogol, O Chekhov,
K22 0020  7    O Thackeray and Dickens, what would you have made of
K22 0030  7    a bomb shelter ornamented with four plaster-of-Paris
K22 0031  4    ducks, a birdbath, and three composition gnomes with
K22 0050  1    long beards and red mobcaps"? As I say, I wouldn't
K22 0050 11    want to begin a day like this, but I often wonder what
K22 0060 11    the dead would have done. But the shelter is as much
K22 0070  7    a part of my landscape as the beech and horse-chestnut
K22 0080  3    trees that grow on the ridge. I can see it from this
K22 0090  1    window where I write. It was built by the Pasterns,
K22 0090 11    and stands on the acre of ground that adjoins our property.
K22 0100  9    It bulks under a veil of thin, new grass, like some
K22 0110  6    embarrassing fact of physicalness, and I think Mrs&
K22 0120  3    Pastern set out the statuary to soften its meaning.
K22 0120 12    It would have been like her. She was a pale woman.
K22 0130 11    Sitting on her terrace, sitting in her parlor, sitting
K22 0140  6    anywhere, she ground an axe of self-esteem. Offer her
K22 0150  3    a cup of tea and she would say, "Why, these cups look
K22 0160  2    just like a set I gave to the Salvation Army last year".
K22 0170  1    Show her the new swimming pool and she would say, slapping
K22 0170 12    her ankle, "I suppose this must be where you breed
K22 0180  9    your gigantic mosquitoes". Hand her a chair and she
K22 0190  7    would say, "Why, it's a nice imitation of those Queen
K22 0200  4    Anne chairs I inherited from Grandmother Delancy".
K22 0210  1    These trumps were more touching than they were anything
K22 0210 10    else, and seemed to imply that the nights were long,
K22 0220 10    her children ungrateful, and her marriage bewilderingly
K22 0230  5    threadbare. Twenty years ago, she would have been known
K22 0240  4    as a golf widow, and the sum of her manner was perhaps
K22 0250  1    one of bereavement. She usually wore weeds, and a stranger
K22 0250 11    watching her board a train might have guessed that
K22 0260  9    Mr& Pastern was dead, but Mr& Pastern was far from
K22 0270  7    dead. He was marching up and down the locker room of
K22 0280  5    the Grassy Brae Golf Club shouting, "Bomb Cuba! Bomb
K22 0290  2    Berlin! Let's throw a little nuclear hardware at them
K22 0300  1    and show them who's boss". He was brigadier of the
K22 0300 11    club's locker-room light infantry, and at one time
K22 0310  7    or another declared war on Russia, Czechoslovakia,
K22 0320  2    Yugoslavia, and China.
K22 0320  5       It all began on an autumn afternoon- and who, after
K22 0330  8    all these centuries, can describe the fineness of an
K22 0340  5    autumn day? One might pretend never to have seen one
K22 0350  3    before, or, to more purpose, that there would never
K22 0350 12    be another like it. The clear and searching sweep of
K22 0360  9    sun on the lawns was like a climax of the year's lights.
K22 0370  7    Leaves were burning somewhere and the smoke smelled,
K22 0380  4    for all its ammoniac acidity, of beginnings. The boundless
K22 0390  2    blue air was stretched over the zenith like the skin
K22 0390 12    of a drum. Leaving her house one late afternoon, Mrs&
K22 0400  8    Pastern stopped to admire the October light. It was
K22 0410  7    the day to canvass for infectious hepatitis. Mrs& Pastern
K22 0420  4    had been given sixteen names, a bundle of literature,
K22 0430  2    and a printed book of receipts. It was her work to
K22 0430 13    go among her neighbors and collect their checks. Her
K22 0440  8    house stood on a rise of ground, and before she got
K22 0450  7    into her car she looked at the houses below. Charity
K22 0460  2    as she knew it was complex and reciprocal, and almost
K22 0460 12    every roof she saw signified charity. Mrs& Balcolm
K22 0470  8    worked for the brain. Mrs& Ten Eyke did mental health.
K22 0480  7    Mrs& Trenchard worked for the blind. Mrs& Horowitz
K22 0490  5    was in charge of diseases of the nose and throat. Mrs&
K22 0500  4    Trempler was tuberculosis, Mrs& Surcliffe was Mothers'
K22 0510  2    March of Dimes, Mrs& Craven was cancer, and Mrs& Gilkson
K22 0520  2    did the kidney. Mrs& Hewlitt led the birthcontrol league,
K22 0521  1    Mrs& Ryerson was arthritis, and way in the distance
K22 0530  9    could be seen the slate roof of Ethel Littleton's house,
K22 0540  6    a roof that signified gout.
K22 0550  1       Mrs& Pastern undertook the work of going from house
K22 0550 10    to house with the thoughtless resignation of an honest
K22 0560  8    and traditional laborer. It was her destiny; it was
K22 0570  7    her life. Her mother had done it before her, and even
K22 0580  4    her old grandmother, who had collected money for smallpox
K22 0590  1    and unwed mothers. Mrs& Pastern had telephoned most
K22 0590  9    of her neighbors in advance, and most of them were
K22 0600  8    ready for her. She experienced none of the suspense
K22 0610  5    of some poor stranger selling encyclopedias. Here and
K22 0620  2    there she stayed to visit and drink a glass of sherry.
K22 0620 13    The contributions were ahead of what she had got the
K22 0630  9    previous year, and while the money, of course, was
K22 0640  6    not hers, it excited her to stuff her kit with big
K22 0650  3    checks. She stopped at the Surcliffes' after dusk,
K22 0650 11    and had a Scotch-and-soda. She stayed too late, and
K22 0660 10    when she left, it was dark and time to go home and
K22 0670  8    cook supper for her husband. "I got a hundred and sixty
K22 0680  4    dollars for the hepatitis fund", she said excitedly
K22 0690  1    when he walked in. "I did everybody on my list but
K22 0690 12    the Blevins and the Flannagans. I want to get my kit
K22 0700 10    in tomorrow morning- would you mind doing them while
K22 0710  6    I cook the dinner"?
K22 0710 10       "But I don't know the Flannagans", Charlie Pastern
K22 0720  7    said.
K22 0720  8       "Nobody does, but they gave me ten last year".
K22 0730  9       He was tired, he had his business worries, and the
K22 0740  7    sight of his wife arranging pork chops in the broiler
K22 0750  4    only seemed like an extension of a boring day. He was
K22 0760  2    happy enough to take the convertible and race up the
K22 0760 12    hill to the Blevins', thinking that they might give
K22 0770  7    him a drink. But the Blevins were away; their maid
K22 0780  5    gave him an envelope with a check in it and shut the
K22 0790  3    door. Turning in at the Flannagans' driveway, he tried
K22 0800  1    to remember if he had ever met them. The name encouraged
K22 0800 12    him, because he always felt that he could handle the
K22 0810  9    Irish. There was a glass pane in the front door, and
K22 0820  7    through this he could see into a hallway where a plump
K22 0830  4    woman with red hair was arranging flowers.
K22 0830 11       "Infectious hepatitis", he shouted heartily.
K22 0840  5       She took a good look at herself in the mirror before
K22 0850  7    she turned and, walking with very small steps, started
K22 0860  4    toward the door. "Oh, please come in", she said. The
K22 0870  2    girlish voice was nearly a whisper. She was not a girl,
K22 0870 13    he could see. Her hair was dyed, and her bloom was
K22 0880 11    fading, and she must have been crowding forty, but
K22 0890  6    she seemed to be one of those women who cling to the
K22 0900  4    manners and graces of a pretty child of eight. "Your
K22 0900 14    wife just called", she said, separating one word from
K22 0910  9    another, exactly like a child. "And I am not sure that
K22 0920 10    I have any cash- any money, that is- but if you will
K22 0930  7    wait just a minute I will write you out a check if
K22 0940  5    I can find my checkbook. Won't you step into the living
K22 0950  2    room, where it's cozier"?
K22 0950  6       A fire had just been lighted, he saw, and things
K22 0960  5    had been set out for drinks, and, like any stray, his
K22 0970  3    response to these comforts was instantaneous. Where
K22 0970 10    was Mr& Flannagan, he wondered. Travelling home on
K22 0980  7    a late train? Changing his clothes upstairs? Taking
K22 0990  6    a shower? At the end of the room there was a desk heaped
K22 1000  7    with papers, and she began to riffle these, making
K22 1010  2    sighs and and noises of girlish exasperation. "I am
K22 1010 11    terribly sorry to keep you waiting", she said, "but
K22 1020  9    won't you make yourself a little drink while you wait?
K22 1030  8    Everything's on the table".
K22 1040  1       "What train does Mr& Flannagan come out on"?
K22 1050  1       "Mr& Flannagan is away", she said. Her voice dropped.
K22 1060  1    "Mr& Flannagan has been away for six weeks **h".
K22 1060 10       "I'll have a drink, then, if you'll have one with
K22 1070 10    me".
K22 1070 11       "If you will promise to make it weak".
K22 1080  8       "Sit down", he said, "and enjoy your drink and look
K22 1090  7    for your checkbook later. The only way to find things
K22 1100  5    is to relax".
K22 1100  8       All in all, they had six drinks. She described herself
K22 1110  4    and her circumstances unhesitatingly. Mr& Flannagan
K22 1120  2    manufactured plastic tongue depressors. He travelled
K22 1130  1    all over the world. She didn't like to travel. Planes
K22 1130 11    made her feel faint, and in Tokyo, where she had gone
K22 1140  9    that summer, she had been given raw fish for breakfast
K22 1150  5    and so she had come straight home. She and her husband
K22 1160  3    had formerly lived in New York, where she had many
K22 1160 13    friends, but Mr& Flannagan thought the country would
K22 1170  8    be safer in case of war. She would rather live in danger
K22 1180  9    than die of loneliness and boredom. She had no children;
K22 1190  5    she had made no friends. "I've seen you, though, before",
K22 1200  4    she said with enormous coyness, patting his knee. "I've
K22 1210  3    seen you walking your dogs on Sunday and driving by
K22 1220  1    in the convertible **h".
K22 1220  5       The thought of this lonely woman sitting at her
K22 1230  3    window touched him, although he was even more touched
K22 1230 12    by her plumpness. Sheer plumpness, he knew, is not
K22 1240  9    a vital part of the body and has no procreative functions.
K22 1250  7    It serves merely as an excess cushion for the rest
K22 1260  5    of the carcass. And knowing its humble place in the
K22 1270  2    scale of things, why did he, at this time of life,
K22 1270 13    seem almost ready to sell his soul for plumpness? The
K22 1280  8    remarks she made about the sufferings of a lonely woman
K22 1290  5    seemed so broad at first that he didn't know what to
K22 1300  4    make of them, but after the sixth drink he put his
K22 1300 15    arm around her and suggested that they go upstairs
K22 1310  8    and look for her checkbook there.
K22 1320  2       "I've never done this before", she said later, when
K22 1330  2    he was arranging himself to leave. Her voice shook
K22 1330 11    with feeling, and he thought it lovely. He didn't doubt
K22 1340  9    her truthfulness, although he had heard the words a
K22 1350  7    hundred times. "I've never done this before", they
K22 1360  3    always said, shaking their dresses down over their
K22 1360 11    white shoulders. "I've never done this before", they
K22 1370  8    always said, waiting for the elevator in the hotel
K22 1380  8    corridor. "I've never done this before", they always
K22 1390  5    said, pouring another whiskey. "I've never done this
K22 1400  4    before", they always said, putting on their stockings.
K22 1420  1    On ships at sea, on railroad trains, in summer hotels
K22 1420 11    with mountain views, they always said, "I've never
K22 1430  6    done this before".
K22 1430  9    ##
K22 1430 10    "Where have you been"? Mrs& Pastern asked sadly, when
K22 1440  9    he came in. "It's after eleven".
K22 1450  5       "I had a drink with the Flannagans".
K22 1460  1       "She told me he was in Germany".
K22 1460  8       "He came home unexpectedly".
K22 1470  4       Charlie ate some supper in the kitchen and went
K22 1480  4    into the ~TV room to hear the news. "Bomb them"! he
K22 1490  2    shouted. "Throw a little nuclear hardware at them!
K22 1490 10    Show them who's boss"! But in bed he had trouble sleeping.
K22 1500 11    He thought first of his son and daughter, away at college.
K22 1510 10    He loved them. It was the only meaning of the word
K22 1520  9    that he had ever known. Then he played nine imaginary
K22 1530  4    holes of golf, choosing his handicap, his irons, his
K22 1540  2    stance, his opponents, and his weather in detail, but
K22 1540 11    the green of the links seemed faded in the light of
K22 1550  9    his business worries. His money was tied up in a Nassau
K22 1560  7    hotel, an Ohio pottery works, and a detergent for window-washing,
K22 1570  4    and luck had been running against him. His worries
K22 1580  2    harried him up out of bed, and he lighted a cigarette
K22 1580 13    and went to the window. In the starlight he could see
K22 1590 10    the trees stripped of their leaves. During the summer
K22 1600  5    he had tried to repair some of his losses at the track,
K22 1610  4    and the bare trees reminded him that his pari-mutuel
K22 1620  1    tickets would still be lying, like leaves, in the gutters
K22 1620 11    near Belmont and Saratoga. Maple and ash, beech and
K22 1630  8    elm, one hundred to win on Three in the fourth, fifty
K22 1640  6    to win on Six in the third, one hundred to win on Two
K22 1650  5    in the eighth. Children walking home from school would
K22 1660  1    scuff through what seemed to be his foliage. Then,
K22 1660 10    getting back into bed, he thought unashamedly of Mrs&
K22 1670  7    Flannagan, planning where they would next meet and
K22 1680  5    what they would do. There are, he thought, so few true
K22 1690  2    means of forgetfulness in this life that why should
K22 1690 11    he shun the medicine even when the medicine seemed,
K22 1700  7    as it did, a little crude?
K23 0010  1    It was not as though she noted clearly that her nephews
K23 0010 12    had not been to see her for ten years, not since their
K23 0020 10    last journey eastward to witness their Uncle Izaak
K23 0030  4    being lowered into the rocky soil; that aside from
K23 0040  2    due notification of certain major events in their lives
K23 0040 11    (two marriages, two births, one divorce), Christmas
K23 0050  6    and Easter cards of the traditional sort had been the
K23 0060  6    only thin link she had with them through the widowed
K23 0070  3    years. Her thoughts were not discrete. But there was
K23 0080  1    a look about her mouth as though she were tasting lemons.
K23 0080 12       She grasped the chair arms and brought her thin
K23 0090  9    body upright, like a bird alert for flight. She turned
K23 0100  6    and walked stiffly into the parlor to the dainty-legged
K23 0110  3    escritoire, warped and cracked now from fifty years
K23 0110 11    in an atmosphere of sea spray. There she extracted
K23 0120  9    two limp vellum sheets and wrote off the letters, one
K23 0130  7    to Abel, one to Mark.
K23 0130 12       Once her trembling hand, with the pen grasped tight
K23 0140  9    in it, was pressed against the paper the words came
K23 0150  6    sharply, smoothly, as authoritatively as they would
K23 0160  3    dropping from her own lips. And the stiffly regal look
K23 0160 13    of them, she saw grimly, lacked the quaver of age which,
K23 0170 11    thwarting the efforts of her amazing will, ran through
K23 0180  7    her spoken words like a thin ragged string. "Please
K23 0190  3    come down as soon as you conveniently can", the upright
K23 0200  3    letters stalked from the broad-nibbed pen, "I have
K23 0200 12    an important matter to discuss with you". To Abel:
K23 0210  9    "I am afraid there is not much to amuse small children
K23 0220  9    here. I should be obliged if you could make other arrangements
K23 0230  7    for your daughters. You may stay as long as you wish,
K23 0240  6    of course, but if arranging for the care of the girls
K23 0250  2    must take time into account, I think a day or two should
K23 0250 14    be enough to finish our business in". To Mark: "Please
K23 0260  9    give my regards to Myra".
K23 0270  3       She signed the letters quickly, stamped them, and
K23 0280  1    placed them on the hall table for Raphael to mail in
K23 0280 12    town. Then she went back to the wicker chair and resolutely
K23 0290  9    adjusted her eyes to the glare on the water.
K23 0300  5       "My nephews will be coming down", she said that
K23 0310  3    evening as Angelina brought her dinner into the dining
K23 0310 12    room, the whole meal on a vast linen-covered tray.
K23 0320 10    She looked at the girl speculatively from eyes which
K23 0330  5    had paled with the years; from the early evening lights
K23 0340  4    of them which had first startled Izaak to look at her
K23 0350  2    in an uncousinly way, they had faded to a near-absence
K23 0350 13    of color which had, possibly from her constant looking
K23 0360  7    at the water, something of the light of the sea in
K23 0370  7    them.
K23 0370  8       Angelina placed the tray on the table and with a
K23 0380  5    flick of dark wrist drew off the cloth. She smiled,
K23 0390  1    and the teeth gleamed in her beautifully modeled olive
K23 0390 10    face. "That will be so nice for you, Mrs& Packard",
K23 0400  9    she said. Her voice was ripe and full and her teeth
K23 0410  7    flashed again in Sicilian brilliance before the warm
K23 0420  3    curved lips met and her mouth settled in repose.
K23 0430  1       "Um", said the old lady, and brought her eyes down
K23 0430 10    to the tray. "You remember them, I suppose"? She glinted
K23 0440  8    suspiciously at the dish before her: "Blowfish. I hope
K23 0450  7    Raphael bought them whole".
K23 0460  1       Angelina stepped back, her eyes roaming the tray
K23 0460  9    for omissions. Then she looked at the old woman again,
K23 0470  9    her eyes calm.
K23 0480  1       "Yes", she said, "I remember that they came here
K23 0480  9    every summer. I used to play with the older one sometimes,
K23 0490 10    when he'd let me. Abel"? The name fell with lazy affectionate
K23 0500  7    remembrance from her lips. For an instant the old aunt
K23 0510  7    felt something indefinable flash through her smile.
K23 0520  3    She would have said triumph. Then Angelina turned and
K23 0530  1    with an easy grace walked toward the kitchen.
K23 0530  9       Jessica Packard lifted her head and followed the
K23 0540  7    retreating figure, her eyes resting nearly closed on
K23 0550  4    the unself-conscious rise and fall of the rounded hips.
K23 0560  1    For a moment she held her face to the empty doorway;
K23 0560 12    then she snorted and groped for her fork.
K23 0570  6       There's no greater catastrophe in the universe,
K23 0580  4    she reflected dourly, impaling tender green beans on
K23 0590  2    the silver fork, than the dwindling away of a family.
K23 0590 12    Procreation, expansion, proliferation- these are the
K23 0600  6    laws of living things, with the penalty for not obeying
K23 0610  6    them the ultimate in punishments: oblivion. When the
K23 0620  3    fate of the individual is visited on the group, then
K23 0620 13    (the warm sweet butter dripped from her raised trembling
K23 0630  9    fork and she pushed her head forward belligerently),
K23 0640  5    ah, then the true bitterness of existence could be
K23 0650  4    tasted. And indeed the young garden beans were brackish
K23 0660  1    in her mouth.
K23 0660  4       She was the last living of the older generation.
K23 0670  1    What had once been a widespread family- at one time,
K23 0670 11    she knew, there were enough Packards to populate an
K23 0680  8    entire county- had now narrowed down to the two boys,
K23 0690  7    Abel and Mark. She swung her eyes up to the blue of
K23 0700  5    the window, her jaws gently mashing the bitter beans.
K23 0710  1    What hope lay in the nephews, she asked the intensifying
K23 0710 11    light out there, with one married to a barren woman
K23 0720  8    and the other divorced, having sired two girl children,
K23 0730  5    with none to bear on the Packard name?
K23 0740  1       She ate. It seemed to her, as it seemed each night,
K23 0740 12    that the gloom drew itself in and became densest at
K23 0750  8    the table's empty chairs, giving her the frequent illusion
K23 0760  6    that she dined with shadows. Here, too, she talked
K23 0770  3    low, quirking her head at one or another of the places,
K23 0780  1    most often at Izaak's armchair which faced her across
K23 0780 10    the long table. Or it might have been the absent nephews
K23 0790  9    she addressed, consciously playing with the notion
K23 0800  5    that this was one of the summers of their early years.
K23 0820  2       She thought again of her children, those two who
K23 0820 11    had died young, before the later science which might
K23 0830  9    have saved them could attach even a label to their
K23 0840  7    separate malignancies. The girl, her first, she barely
K23 0850  4    remembered. It could have been anyone's infant, for
K23 0860  1    it had not survived the bassinet. But the boy **h the
K23 0860 12    boy had been alive yesterday. Each successive movement
K23 0870  6    in his growing was recorded on the unreeling film inside
K23 0880  6    her. He ran on his plump sticks of legs, freezing now
K23 0900  3    and again into the sudden startled attitudes which
K23 0900 11    the camera had caught and held on the paling photographs,
K23 0910 10    all carefully placed and glued and labeled, resting
K23 0920  6    in the fat plush album in the bottom drawer of the
K23 0930  4    escritoire. In the cruel clearness of her memory the
K23 0940  1    boy remained unchanged, quick with the delight of laughter,
K23 0940 10    and the pain with which she recalled that short destroyed
K23 0950  8    childhood was still unendurable to her. It was one
K23 0960  6    with the desolate rocks and the alien water on those
K23 0970  3    days when she hated the sea.
K23 0970  9    ##
K23 0970 10    The brothers drove down together in Mark's small red
K23 0980  7    sports car, Mark at the wheel. They rarely spoke. Abel
K23 0990  4    sat and regarded the farm country which, spreading
K23 1000  1    out from both sides of the road, rolled greenly up
K23 1000 11    to where the silent white houses and long barns and
K23 1010  8    silos nested into the tilled fields. He saw the land
K23 1020  5    with a stranger's eyes, all the old familiarness gone.
K23 1030  2    And it presented itself to him as it would to any stranger,
K23 1040  1    impervious, complete in itself. There was stability
K23 1040  8    there, too- a color which his life had had once. That
K23 1050  9    is what childhood is, he told himself. Solid, settled
K23 1060  4    **h lost. In the stiff neutral lines of the telephone
K23 1070  2    poles he saw the no-nonsense pen strokes of Aunt Jessica's
K23 1080  1    letter. What bad grace, what incredible selfishness
K23 1080  8    he and Mark had shown. The boyhood summers preceding
K23 1090  7    their uncle's funeral might never have been. They had
K23 1100  6    closed over, absolutely, with the sealing of old Izaak's
K23 1110  4    grave. The small car flew on relentlessly. The old
K23 1120  1    woman, stubbornly reigning in the house above the crashing
K23 1120 10    waters took on an ominous reality. Abel moved and adjusted
K23 1130  9    his long legs.
K23 1140  1       "I suppose it has to do with the property", Mark
K23 1140 11    had said over the telephone when they had discussed
K23 1150  7    their receipt of the letters. Not until the words had
K23 1160  6    been spoken did Abel suddenly see the old house and
K23 1170  2    the insistent sea, and feel his contrition blotted
K23 1170 10    out in one shameful moment of covetousness. He and
K23 1180  7    Mark were the last of the family, and there lay the
K23 1190  5    Cape Ann property which had seemed to have no end,
K23 1200  2    stretching from horizon to horizon, in those golden
K23 1200 10    days of summer.
K23 1210  1       Now Abel turned his head to look at his brother.
K23 1210 11    Mark held the wheel loosely, but his fingers curved
K23 1220  8    around it in a purposeful way and the deliberate set
K23 1230  6    of his body spoke plainly of the figure he'd make in
K23 1240  3    the years to come. His sandy hair was already beginning
K23 1250  1    to thin and recede at the sides, and Abel looked quickly
K23 1250 12    away. Mark easily looked years older than himself,
K23 1260  7    settled, his world comfortably categorized.
K23 1270  2       The vacation traffic was becoming heavier as they
K23 1280  1    approached the sea. "She didn't mention bringing Myra",
K23 1280  9    Mark said, maneuvering the car into the next lane.
K23 1290  9    "She's probably getting old- crotchety, I mean- and
K23 1300  7    we figured uh-uh, better not. They've never met, you
K23 1310  5    know. But Myra wouldn't budge without an express invitation.
K23 1320  4    I feel kind of bad about it". He gave Abel a quick
K23 1330  3    glance and moved closer to the wheel, hugging it to
K23 1330 13    him, and Abel caught this briefest of allusions to
K23 1340  8    guilt.
K23 1340  9       "I imagine the old girl hasn't missed us much",
K23 1350  8    Mark added, his eyes on the road. Abel ignored the
K23 1360  5    half-expressed bid for confirmation. He smiled. It
K23 1370  2    was barely possible that his brother was right.
K23 1370 10       He could tell they were approaching the sea. The
K23 1380  8    air took on a special strength now that they'd left
K23 1390  5    the fecund warmth of the farmland behind. There was
K23 1400  3    the smell of the coast, like a primeval memory, composed
K23 1410  1    of equal parts salt water, clams, seaweed and northern
K23 1410 10    air. He turned from the flying trees to look ahead
K23 1420  8    and saw with an inward boy's eye again the great fieldstone
K23 1430  5    house which, built on one of the many acres of ancestral
K23 1440  3    land bordering the west harbor, had been Izaak's bride-gift
K23 1450  1    to his cousin-wife as the last century ended.
K23 1450 10       Mark's thoughts must have been keeping silent pace
K23 1460  8    beside his own, climbing the same crags in dirty white
K23 1470  7    sneakers, clambering out on top of the headland and
K23 1480  3    coming upon the sudden glinting water at the same instant.
K23 1490  1    "Remember the Starbird?" Mark asked, and Abel lifted
K23 1490  9    his eyes from the double lines in the middle of the
K23 1500 11    road, the twin white ribbons which the car swallowed
K23 1510  6    rapidly as it ascended the crest of the hill and came
K23 1520  5    down.
K23 1520  6       "The Starbird," Abel said. There was the day Uncle
K23 1530  5    Izaak had, in an unexpected grandiose gesture, handed
K23 1540  2    over the pretty sloop to Abel for keeps, on condition
K23 1540 12    that he never fail to let his brother accompany him
K23 1550 10    whenever the younger boy wished. The two of them had
K23 1560  7    developed into a remarkable sailing team **h all of
K23 1570  4    this happening in a time of their lives when their
K23 1570 14    youth and their brotherhood knitted them together as
K23 1580  8    no other time or circumstance could. They seemed then
K23 1590  5    to have had a single mind and body, a mutuality which
K23 1600  3    had been accepted with the fact of their youth, casually.
K23 1610  1    He saw the Starbird as she lay, her slender mast up
K23 1610 12    and gently turning, its point describing constant languid
K23 1620  7    circles against a cumulus sky. Both of them had known
K23 1630  7    the feeling of the small life in her waiting, ready,
K23 1640  3    for the two of them to run up her sails. The Starbird
K23 1650  1    had been long at the bottom of the bay.
K23 1650 10       They came unexpectedly upon the sea. Meeting it
K23 1660  6    without preparation as they did, robbed of anticipation,
K23 1670  3    a common disappointment seized them. They were climbing
K23 1680  2    the hill in the night when the headlights abruptly
K23 1680 11    probed solid blackness, became two parallel luminous
K23 1690  6    tubes which broadened out into a faint mist of light
K23 1700  6    and ended. Mark stopped the car and switched off the
K23 1710  3    lights and they sat looking at the water, which, there
K23 1710 13    being no moon out, at first could be distinguished
K23 1720  9    from the sky only by an absence of stars.
K24 0010  1    His eyes were old and they never saw well, but heated
K24 0010 12    with whisky they'd glare at my noise, growing red and
K24 0020  8    raising up his rage. I decided I hated the Pedersen
K24 0030  5    kid too, dying in our kitchen while I was away where
K24 0040  2    I couldn't watch, dying just to entertain Hans and
K24 0040 11    making me go up snapping steps and down a drafty hall,
K24 0050 11    Pa lumped under the covers at the end like dung covered
K24 0060  8    with snow, snoring and whistling. Oh he'd not care
K24 0070  5    about the Pedersen kid. He'd not care about getting
K24 0080  1    waked so he could give up some of his whisky to a slit
K24 0080 14    of a kid and maybe lose one of his hiding places in
K24 0090 10    the bargain. That would make him mad enough if he was
K24 0100  7    sober. I didn't hurry though it was cold and the Pedersen
K24 0110  4    kid was in the kitchen.
K24 0110  9       He was all shoveled up like I thought he'd be. I
K24 0120  8    pushed at his shoulder, calling his name. I think his
K24 0140  5    name stopped the snoring but he didn't move except
K24 0150  1    to roll a little when I shoved him. The covers slid
K24 0150 12    down his skinny neck so I saw his head, fuzzed like
K24 0160  9    a dandelion gone to seed, but his face was turned to
K24 0170  6    the wall- there was the pale shadow of his nose on
K24 0180  2    the plaster- and I thought, Well you don't look much
K24 0180 12    like a pig-drunk bully now. I couldn't be sure he was
K24 0190 12    still asleep. He was a cagey sonofabitch. I shook him
K24 0200  8    a little harder and made some noise. "Pap-pap-pap-hey",
K24 0210  5    I said.
K24 0210  7       I was leaning too far over. I knew better. He always
K24 0220  6    slept close to the wall so you had to lean to reach
K24 0230  3    him. Oh he was smart. It put you off. I knew better
K24 0230 15    but I was thinking of the Pedersen kid mother-naked
K24 0240 10    in all that dough. When his arm came up I ducked away
K24 0250  9    but it caught me on the side of the neck, watering
K24 0260  4    my eyes, and I backed off to cough. Pa was on his side,
K24 0270  2    looking at me, his eyes winking, the hand that had
K24 0270 12    hit me a fist in the pillow.
K24 0280  4       "Get the hell out of here".
K24 0280 10       I didn't say anything, trying to get my throat clear,
K24 0290  9    but I watched him. He was like a mean horse to come
K24 0300  9    at from the rear. It was better, though, he'd hit me.
K24 0310  4    He was bitter when he missed.
K24 0310 10       "Get the hell out of here".
K24 0320  5       "Big Hans sent me. He told me to wake you".
K24 0330  2       "A fat hell on Big Hans. Get out of here".
K24 0340  1       "He found the Pedersen kid by the crib".
K24 0340  9       "Get the hell out".
K24 0350  3       Pa pulled at the covers. He was tasting his mouth.
K24 0360  1       "The kid's froze good. Hans is rubbing him with
K24 0360 10    snow. He's got him in the kitchen".
K24 0370  7       "Pedersen"?
K24 0380  1       "No, Pa. It's the Pedersen kid. The kid".
K24 0380  9       "Nothing to steal from the crib".
K24 0390  6       "Not stealing, Pa. He was just lying there. Hans
K24 0400  4    found him froze. That's where he was when Hans found
K24 0410  2    him".
K24 0410  3       Pa laughed.
K24 0410  5       "I ain't hid nothing in the crib".
K24 0420  3       "You don't understand, Pa. The Pedersen kid. The
K24 0430  3    kid"-
K24 0430  4       "I god damn well understand".
K24 0440  1       Pa had his head up, glaring, his teeth gnawing at
K24 0440 10    the place where he'd grown a mustache once.
K24 0450  5       "I god damn well understand. You know I don't want
K24 0460  5    to see Pedersen. That cock. Why should I? What did
K24 0470  2    he come for, hey? God dammit, get. And don't come back.
K24 0480  1    Find out something. You're a fool. Both you and Hans.
K24 0480 11    Pedersen. That cock. Don't come back. Out. Out".
K24 0490  8       He was shouting and breathing hard and closing his
K24 0500  7    fist on the pillow. He had long black hairs on his
K24 0510  5    wrist. They curled around the cuff of his nightshirt.
K24 0520  1       "Big Hans made me come. Big Hans said"-
K24 0530  1       "A fat hell on Big Hans. He's an even bigger fool
K24 0530 11    than you are. Fat, hey? I taught him, dammit, and I'll
K24 0540  9    teach you. Out. You want me to drop my pot"?
K24 0550  7       He was about to get up so I got out, slamming the
K24 0560  4    door. He was beginning to see he was too mad to sleep.
K24 0570  1    Then he threw things. Once he went after Hans and dumped
K24 0570 12    his pot over the banister. Pa'd been shit-sick in that
K24 0580 10    pot. Hans got an axe. He didn't even bother to wipe
K24 0590  8    himself off and he chopped part of Pa's door down before
K24 0600  6    he stopped. He might not have gone that far if Pa hadn't
K24 0610  5    been locked in laughing fit to shake the house. That
K24 0620  2    pot put Pa in an awful good humor whenever he thought
K24 0620 13    of it. I always felt the memory was present in both
K24 0630  9    of them, stirring in their chests like a laugh or a
K24 0640  7    growl, as eager as an animal to be out. I heard Pa
K24 0650  3    cursing all the way downstairs.
K24 0650  8       Hans had laid steaming towels over the kid's chest
K24 0660  6    and stomach. He was rubbing snow on the kid's legs
K24 0670  4    and feet. Water from the snow and water from the towels
K24 0680  1    had run off the kid to the table where the dough was,
K24 0680 13    and the dough was turning pasty, sticking to the kid's
K24 0690  8    back and behind.
K24 0700  1       "Ain't he going to wake up"?
K24 0700  6       "What about your pa"?
K24 0710  1       "He was awake when I left".
K24 0710  7       "What'd he say? Did you get the whisky"?
K24 0720  6       "He said a fat hell on Big Hans".
K24 0730  2       "Don't be smart. Did you ask him about the whisky"?
K24 0740  1       "Yeah".
K24 0740  2       "Well"?
K24 0740  3       "He said a fat hell on Big Hans".
K24 0750  7       "Don't be smart. What's he going to do"?
K24 0760  5       "Go back to sleep most likely".
K24 0770  1       "You'd best get that whisky".
K24 0770  6       "You go. Take the axe. Pa's scared to hell of axes".
K24 0780  7       "Listen to me, Jorge, I've had enough to your sassing.
K24 0790  7    This kid's froze bad. If I don't get some whisky down
K24 0800  5    him he might die. You want the kid to die? Do you?
K24 0810  3    Well, get your pa and get that whisky".
K24 0810 11       "Pa don't care about the kid".
K24 0820  6       "Jorge".
K24 0820  7       "Well he don't. He don't care at all, and I don't
K24 0830 11    care to get my head busted neither. He don't care,
K24 0840  6    and I don't care to have his shit flung on me. He don't
K24 0850  6    care about anybody. All he cares about is his whisky
K24 0860  3    and that dry crack in his face. Get pig-drunk- that's
K24 0870  1    what he wants. He don't care about nothing else at
K24 0870 11    all. Nothing. Not Pedersen's kid neither. That cock.
K24 0880  7    Not the kid neither".
K24 0890  1       "I'll get the spirits", Ma said.
K24 0890  7       I'd wound Big Hans up tight. I was ready to jump
K24 0900  9    but when Ma said she'd get the whisky it surprised
K24 0910  4    him like it surprised me, and he ran down. Ma never
K24 0920  2    went near the old man when he was sleeping it off.
K24 0920 13    Not any more. Not for years. The first thing every
K24 0930  8    morning when she washed her face she could see the
K24 0940  5    scar on her chin where he'd cut her with a boot cleat,
K24 0950  2    and maybe she saw him heaving it again, the dirty sock
K24 0950 13    popping out as it flew. It should have been nearly
K24 0960 10    as easy for her to remember that as it was for Big
K24 0970  7    Hans to remember going after the axe while he was still
K24 0980  4    spattered with Pa's yellow sick insides.
K24 0980 10       "No you won't", Big Hans said.
K24 0990  6       "Yes, Hans, if they're needed", Ma said.
K24 1000  3       Hans shook his head but neither of us tried to stop
K24 1010  3    her. If we had, then one of us would have had to go
K24 1010 16    instead. Hans rubbed the kid with more snow **h rubbed
K24 1020 10    **h rubbed.
K24 1030  1       "I'll get more snow", I said. I took the pail and
K24 1030 11    shovel and went out on the porch. I don't know where
K24 1040  9    Ma went. I thought she'd gone upstairs and expected
K24 1050  5    to hear she had. She had surprised Hans like she had
K24 1060  4    surprised me when she said she'd go, and then she surprised
K24 1070  1    him again when she came back so quick like she must
K24 1070 12    have, because when I came in with the snow she was
K24 1080  8    there with a bottle with three white feathers on its
K24 1090  5    label and Hans was holding it angrily by the throat.
K24 1100  1       Oh, he was being queer and careful, pawing about
K24 1100 10    in the drawer and holding the bottle like a snake at
K24 1110 10    the length of his arm. He was awful angry because he'd
K24 1120  7    thought Ma was going to do something big, something
K24 1130  3    heroic even, especially for her **h I know him **h
K24 1140  1    I know him **h we felt the same sometimes **h while
K24 1140 12    Ma wasn't thinking about that at all, not anything
K24 1150  6    like that. There was no way of getting even. It wasn't
K24 1160  4    like getting cheated at the fair. They were always
K24 1170  1    trying so you got to expect it. Now Hans had given
K24 1170 12    Ma something of his- we both had when we thought she
K24 1180  8    was going straight to Pa- something valuable; but since
K24 1190  5    she didn't know we'd given it to her, there was no
K24 1200  4    easy way of getting it back.
K24 1200 10       Hans cut the foil off finally and unscrewed the
K24 1210  6    cap. He was put out too because there was only one
K24 1220  4    way of understanding what she'd done. Ma had found
K24 1220 13    one of Pa's hiding places. She'd found one and she
K24 1230 10    hadn't said a word while Big Hans and I had hunted
K24 1240  9    and hunted as we always did all winter, every winter
K24 1250  4    since the spring that Hans had come and I had looked
K24 1260  2    in the privy and found the first one. Pa had a knack
K24 1260 14    for hiding. He knew we were looking and he enjoyed
K24 1270  9    it. But now Ma. She'd found it by luck most likely
K24 1280  7    but she hadn't said anything and we didn't know how
K24 1290  3    long ago it'd been or how many other ones she'd found,
K24 1300  1    saying nothing. Pa was sure to find out. Sometimes
K24 1300 10    he didn't seem to because he hid them so well he couldn't
K24 1310 11    find them himself or because he looked and didn't find
K24 1320  7    anything and figured he hadn't hid one after all or
K24 1330  6    had drunk it up. But he'd find out about this one because
K24 1340  3    we were using it. A fool could see what was going on.
K24 1340 15    If he found out Ma found it- that'd be bad. He took
K24 1350 12    pride in his hiding. It was all the pride he had. I
K24 1360 10    guess fooling Hans and me took doing. But he didn't
K24 1370  5    figure Ma for much. He didn't figure her at all, and
K24 1371  4    if he found out **h a woman **h it'd be bad.
K24 1380  8       Hans poured some in a tumbler.
K24 1390  6       "You going to put more towels on him"?
K24 1400  1       "No".
K24 1400  2       "Why not? That's what he needs, something warm to
K24 1410  4    his skin, don't he"?
K24 1410  8       "Not where he's froze good. Heat's bad for frostbite.
K24 1420  8    That's why I only put towels on his chest and belly.
K24 1430  8    He's got to thaw slow. You ought to know that".
K24 1440  4       Colors on the towels had run.
K24 1440 10       Ma poked her toe in the kid's clothes.
K24 1450  7       "What are we going to do with these"?
K24 1460  3       Big Hans began pouring whisky in the kid's mouth
K24 1470  2    but his mouth filled without any getting down his throat
K24 1470 12    and in a second it was dripping from his chin.
K24 1480  9       "Here, help me prop him up. I got hold his mouth
K24 1490  8    open".
K24 1490  9       I didn't want to touch him and I hoped Ma would
K24 1500  7    do it but she kept looking at the kid's clothes piled
K24 1510  3    on the floor and the pool of water by them and didn't
K24 1520  1    make any move to.
K24 1520  5       "Come on, Jorge".
K24 1520  8       "All right".
K24 1530  1       "Lift, don't shove **h lift".
K24 1530  6       "O&K&, I'm lifting".
K24 1540  3       I took him by the shoulders. His head flopped back.
K24 1550  2    His mouth fell open. The skin on his neck was tight.
K24 1550 13    He was cold all right.
K24 1560  5       "Hold his head up. He'll choke".
K24 1570  1       "His mouth is open".
K24 1570  5       "His throat's shut. He'll choke".
K24 1580  2       "He'll choke anyway".
K24 1580  5       "Hold his head up".
K24 1590  3       "I can't".
K24 1590  5       "Don't hold him like that. Put your arms around
K24 1600  6    him".
K24 1600  7       "Well Jesus".
K24 1610  1       He was cold all right. I put my arm carefully around
K24 1610 12    him. Hans had his fingers in the kid's mouth.
K24 1620  7       "Now he'll choke for sure".
K24 1630  1       "Shut up. Just hold him like I told you".
K24 1640  1       He was cold all right, and wet. I had my arm behind
K24 1640 12    his back.
K25 0010  1    He was in his mid-fifties at this time, long past the
K25 0010 13    establishment of his name and the wish to be lionized
K25 0020  9    yet once again, and it was almost a decade since he
K25 0030  5    had sworn off lecturing. There was never a doubt any
K25 0040  2    more how his structures would be received; it was always
K25 0040 12    the same unqualified success now. He could no longer
K25 0050  8    build anything, whether a private residence in his
K25 0060  6    Pennsylvania county or a church in Brazil, without
K25 0070  2    it being obvious that he had done it, and while here
K25 0070 13    and there he was taken to task for again developing
K25 0080  9    the same airy technique, they were such fanciful and
K25 0090  6    sometimes even playful buildings that the public felt
K25 0100  3    assured by its sense of recognition after a time, a
K25 0100 13    quality of authentic uniqueness about them, which,
K25 0110  7    once established by an artist as his private vision,
K25 0120  6    is no longer disputable as to its other values. Stowey
K25 0130  3    Rummel was internationally famous, a crafter of a genuine
K25 0140  1    Americana in foreign eyes, an original designer whose
K25 0140  9    inventive childishness with steel and concrete was
K25 0150  7    made even more believably sincere by his personality.
K25 0160  4    He had lived for almost thirty years in this same stone
K25 0170  3    farmhouse with the same wife, a remarkably childish
K25 0170 11    thing in itself; he rose at half-past six every morning,
K25 0180 11    made himself some French coffee, had his corn flakes
K25 0190  7    and more coffee, smoked four cigarettes while reading
K25 0200  3    last Sunday's Herald Tribune and yesterday's Pittsburgh
K25 0210  2    Gazette, then put on his high-topped farmer's shoes
K25 0220  2    and walked under a vine bower to his workshop. This
K25 0220 12    was an enormously long building whose walls were made
K25 0230  7    of rocks, some of them brought home from every continent
K25 0240  5    during his six years as an oil geologist. The debris
K25 0250  3    of his other careers was piled everywhere; a pile of
K25 0260  1    wire cages for mice from his time as a geneticist and
K25 0260 12    a microscope lying on its side on the window sill,
K25 0270  8    vertical steel columns wired for support to the open
K25 0280  4    ceiling beams with spidery steel cantilevers jutting
K25 0290  1    out into the air, masonry constructions on the floor
K25 0290 10    from the time he was inventing his disastrous fireplace
K25 0300  6    whose smoke would pass through a whole house, visible
K25 0310  5    all the way up through wire gratings on each floor.
K25 0320  2    His files, desk, drafting board and a high stool formed
K25 0320 12    the only clean island in the chaos. Everywhere else
K25 0330  8    his ideas lay or hung in visible form: his models,
K25 0340  5    drawings, ten-foot canvases in monochromes from his
K25 0350  3    painting days, and underfoot a windfall of broken-backed
K25 0350 12    books that looked as though their insides had been
K25 0360  9    ransacked by a maniac. Bicycle gear-sets he had once
K25 0370  7    used as the basis of the design for the Camden Cycly
K25 0380  4    Company plant hung on a rope in one corner, and over
K25 0390  1    his desk, next to several old and dusty hats, was a
K25 0390 12    clean pair of roller skates which he occasionally used
K25 0400  6    up and down in front of his house. He worked standing,
K25 0410  4    with his left hand in his pocket as though he were
K25 0420  2    merely stopping for a moment, sketching with the surprised
K25 0420 11    stare of one who was watching another person's hand.
K25 0430  9    Sometimes he would grunt softly to some invisible onlooker
K25 0440  7    beside him, sometimes he would look stern and moralistic
K25 0450  5    as his pencil did what he disapproved. It all seemed-
K25 0460  3    if one could have peeked in at him through one of his
K25 0460 15    windows- as though this broken-nosed man with the muscular
K25 0470 12    arms and wrestler's neck was merely the caretaker trying
K25 0480  7    his hand at the boss's work. This air of disengagement
K25 0490  6    carried over to his apparent attitude toward his things,
K25 0500  4    and people often mistook it for boredom in him or a
K25 0510  3    surrender to repetitious routine. But he was not bored
K25 0510 12    at all; he had found his style quite early in his career
K25 0520 11    and he thought it quite wonderful that the world admired
K25 0530  6    it, and he could not imagine why he should alter it.
K25 0540  4    There are, after all, fortunate souls who hear everything,
K25 0550  1    but only know how to listen to what is good for them,
K25 0550 13    and Stowey was, as things go, a fortunate man.
K25 0560  8       He left his home the day after New Year's wearing
K25 0570  6    a mackinaw and sheepskin mittens and without a hat.
K25 0580  4    He would wear this same costume in Florida, despite
K25 0580 13    his wife Cleota's reminders over the past five days
K25 0590  9    that he must take some cool clothes with him. But he
K25 0600  8    was too busy to hear what she was saying. So they parted
K25 0610  5    when she was in an impatient humor. When he was bent
K25 0620  3    over behind the wheel of the station wagon, feeling
K25 0620 12    in his trouser cuffs for the ignition key which he
K25 0630  8    had dropped a moment before, she came out of the house
K25 0640  7    with an enormous Rumanian shawl over her head, which
K25 0650  3    she had bought in that country during one of their
K25 0650 13    trips abroad, and handed him a clean handkerchief through
K25 0660  8    the window. Finding the key under his shoe, he started
K25 0670  8    the engine, and while it warmed up he turned to her
K25 0680  5    standing there in the dripping fog, and said, "Defrost
K25 0690  1    the refrigerator".
K25 0690  3       He saw the surprise in her face, and laughed as
K25 0700  3    though it were the funniest expression he had ever
K25 0700 12    seen. He kept on laughing until she started laughing
K25 0710  9    with him. He had a deep voice which was full of good
K25 0720  7    food she had cooked, and good humor; an explosive laugh
K25 0730  4    which always carried everything before it. He would
K25 0740  1    settle himself into his seat to laugh. Whenever he
K25 0740 10    laughed it was all he was doing. And she was made to
K25 0750 10    fall in love with him again there in the rutted dirt
K25 0760  5    driveway standing in the cold fog, mad as she was at
K25 0770  2    his going away when he really didn't have to, mad at
K25 0770 13    their both having got older in a life that seemed to
K25 0780 10    have taken no more than a week to go by. She was forty-nine
K25 0790  9    at this time, a lanky woman of breeding with an austere,
K25 0800  4    narrow face which had the distinction of a steeple
K25 0810  1    or some architecture that had been designed long ago
K25 0810 10    for a stubborn sort of prayer. Her eyebrows were definite
K25 0820  8    and heavy and formed two lines moving upward toward
K25 0830  5    a high forehead and a great head of brown hair that
K25 0840  2    fell to her shoulders. There was an air of blindness
K25 0840 12    in her gray eyes, the startled-horse look that ultimately
K25 0850  9    comes to some women who are born at the end of an ancestral
K25 0860 10    line long since divorced from money-making and which,
K25 0870  5    besides, has kept its estate intact. She was personally
K25 0880  2    sloppy, and when she had colds would blow her nose
K25 0880 12    in the same handkerchief all day and keep it, soaking
K25 0890  9    wet, dangling from her waist, and when she gardened
K25 0900  6    she would eat dinner with dirt on her calves. But just
K25 0910  3    when she seemed to have sunk into some depravity of
K25 0910 13    peasanthood she would disappear and come down bathed,
K25 0920  8    brushed, and taking breaths of air, and even with her
K25 0930  8    broken nails her hands would come to rest on a table
K25 0940  5    or a leaf with a thoughtless delicacy, a grace of history,
K25 0950  1    so to speak, and for an instant one saw how ferociously
K25 0950 12    proud she was and adamant on certain questions of personal
K25 0960  9    value. She even spoke differently when she was clean,
K25 0970  6    and she was clean now for his departure and her voice
K25 0980  4    clear and rather sharp.
K25 0980  8       "Now drive carefully, for God's sake"! she called,
K25 0990  6    trying to attain a half humorous resentment at his
K25 1000  4    departure. But he did not notice, and was already backing
K25 1010  2    the car down to the road, saying "Toot-toot"! to the
K25 1020  1    stump of a tree as he passed it, the same stump which
K25 1020 13    had impaled the car of many a guest in the past thirty
K25 1030 10    years and which he refused to have removed. She stood
K25 1040  5    clutching her shawl around her shoulders until he had
K25 1050  3    swung the car onto the road. Then, when he had it pointed
K25 1060  1    down the hill, he stopped to gaze at her through the
K25 1060 12    window. She had begun to turn back toward the house,
K25 1070  8    but his look caught her and she stood still, waiting
K25 1080  3    there for what his expression indicated would be a
K25 1100  1    serious word of farewell. He looked at her out of himself,
K25 1100 12    she thought, as he did only for an instant at a time,
K25 1110 11    the look which always surprised her even now when his
K25 1120  6    uncombable hair was yellowing a little and his breath
K25 1130  3    came hard through his nicotine-choked lungs, the look
K25 1130 12    of the gaunt youth she had suddenly found herself staring
K25 1140  9    at in the Tate Gallery on a Thursday once. Now she
K25 1150  8    kept herself protectively ready to laugh again and
K25 1160  5    sure enough he pointed at her with his index finger
K25 1170  1    and said "Toot"! once more and roared off into the
K25 1170 11    fog, his foot evidently surprising him with the suddenness
K25 1180  7    with which it pressed the accelerator, just as his
K25 1190  6    hand did when he worked. She walked back to the house
K25 1200  4    and entered, feeling herself returning, sensing some
K25 1200 11    kind of opportunity in the empty building. There is
K25 1210  9    a death in all partings, she knew, and promptly put
K25 1220  6    it out of her mind.
K25 1220 11       She enjoyed great parties when she would sit up
K25 1230  8    talking and dancing and drinking all night, but it
K25 1240  5    always seemed to her that being alone, especially alone
K25 1250  2    in her house, was the realest part of life. Now she
K25 1250 13    could let out the three parakeets without fear they
K25 1260  7    would be stepped on or that Stowey would let them out
K25 1270  5    one of the doors; she could dust the plants, then break
K25 1280  3    off suddenly and pick up an old novel and read from
K25 1280 14    the middle on; improvise cha-chas on the harp; and
K25 1300  9    finally, the best part of all, simply sit at the plank
K25 1310  7    table in the kitchen with a bottle of wine and the
K25 1320  3    newspapers, reading the ads as well as the news, registering
K25 1330  1    nothing on her mind but letting her soul suspend itself
K25 1330 11    above all wishing and desire. She did this now, comfortably
K25 1340  8    aware of the mist running down the windows, of the
K25 1350  6    silence outside, of the dark afternoon it was getting
K25 1360  4    to be. She fell asleep leaning on her hand, hearing
K25 1360 14    the house creaking as though it were a living a private
K25 1370 11    life of its own these two hundred years, hearing the
K25 1380  7    birds rustling in their cages and the occasional whirring
K25 1390  4    of wings as one of them landed on the table and walked
K25 1400  2    across the newspaper to perch in the crook of her arm.
K25 1400 13    Every few minutes she would awaken for a moment to
K25 1410 10    review things: Stowey, yes, was on his way south, and
K25 1420  8    the two boys were away in school, and nothing was burning
K25 1430  4    on the stove, and Lucretia was coming for dinner and
K25 1440  2    bringing three guests of hers. Then she fell asleep
K25 1440 11    again as soddenly as a person with fever, and when
K25 1450  8    she awoke it was dark outside and the clarity was back
K25 1460  6    in her eyes. She stood up, smoothing her hair down,
K25 1470  2    straightening her clothes, feeling a thankfulness for
K25 1470  9    the enveloping darkness outside, and, above everything
K25 1480  6    else, for the absence of the need to answer, to respond,
K25 1490  7    to be aware even of Stowey coming in or going out,
K25 1500  4    and yet, now that she was beginning to cook, she glimpsed
K25 1510  1    a future without him, a future alone like this, and
K25 1510 11    the pain made her head writhe, and in a moment she
K25 1520  8    found it hard to wait for Lucretia to come with her
K25 1530  5    guests. She went into the living room and turned on
K25 1540  1    three lamps, then back into the kitchen where she turned
K25 1540 11    on the ceiling light and the switch that lit the floods
K25 1550  9    on the barn, illuminating the driveway. She knew she
K25 1560  6    was feeling afraid and inwardly laughed at herself.
K25 1570  2    They were both so young, after all, so unready for
K25 1570 12    any final parting. How could it have been thirty years
K25 1580  9    already, she wondered? But yes, nineteen plus thirty
K25 1590  6    was forty-nine, and she was forty-nine and she had
K25 1600  4    been married at nineteen. She stood still over the
K25 1600 13    leg of lamb, rubbing herbs into it, quite suddenly
K25 1610  9    conscious of a nausea in her stomach and a feeling
K25 1620  7    of wrath, a sensation of violence that started her
K25 1630  2    shivering.
K26 0010  1       But they all said, "No, your time will come. Enjoy
K26 0010 11    being a bride while you can".
K26 0020  5       There was no room for company in the tiny Weaning
K26 0030  3    House (where the Albright boys always took their brides,
K26 0040  1    till they could get a house and a farm of their own).
K26 0040 13    So when the Big House filled up and ran over, the sisters-in-law
K26 0050 12    found beds for everyone in their own homes. And there
K26 0060  8    was still not anything that Linda Kay could do.
K26 0070  4       So Linda Kay gave up asking, and accepted her reprieve.
K26 0080  3    Without saying so, she was really grateful; for to
K26 0090  1    attend the dying was something she had never experienced,
K26 0090 10    and certainly had not imagined when she thought of
K26 0100  8    the duties she would have as Bobby Joe's wife. She
K26 0110  4    had made curtains for all the windows of her little
K26 0120  2    house, and she had kept it spotless and neat, shabby
K26 0120 12    as it was, and cooked good meals for Bobby Joe. She
K26 0130  9    had done all the things she had promised herself she
K26 0140  5    would do, but she had not thought of this. People died,
K26 0150  3    she would have said, in hospitals, or in cars on the
K26 0150 14    highway at night.
K26 0160  3       Bobby Joe was gone all day now, not coming in for
K26 0170  2    dinner and sometimes not for supper. When they first
K26 0170 11    married he had been working in the fields all day,
K26 0180  9    and she would get in the car and drive to wherever
K26 0190  4    he was working, to take him a fresh hot meal. Now there
K26 0200  2    was no work in the fields, nor would there be till
K26 0200 13    it rained, and she did not know where he went. Not
K26 0210 10    that she complained, or had any cause to. Four or five
K26 0220  6    of the cousins from East Texas were about his age,
K26 0230  3    so naturally they ran around together. There was no
K26 0230 12    reason for her to ask what they did.
K26 0240  8       Thus a new pattern of days began to develop, for
K26 0250  4    Granny Albright did not die. She lay still on the bed,
K26 0260  2    her head hardly denting the pillow; sometimes she opened
K26 0260 11    her eyes and looked around, and sometimes she took
K26 0270  8    a little milk or soup. They stopped expecting her to
K26 0280  5    die the next minute, but only in the next day or two.
K26 0290  4    Those who had driven hundreds of miles for the burial
K26 0290 14    would not go home, for she might die any time; but
K26 0300 11    they might as well unpack their suitcases, for she
K26 0310  6    might linger on.
K26 0310  9       So the pattern was established. When Linda Kay had
K26 0320  7    put up her breakfast dishes and mopped her linoleum
K26 0330  5    rugs, she would go to the Big House. There was not
K26 0340  3    anything she could do there, but that was where everyone
K26 0340 13    was, or would be. Bobby Joe and the boys would come
K26 0350 11    by, say "How's Granny"? and sit on the porch a while.
K26 0360  8    The older men would be there at noon, and maybe rest
K26 0370  6    for a time before they took their guns off to the creek
K26 0380  4    or drove down the road towards town.
K26 0380 11       The women and children stayed at the Albrights'.
K26 0390  6    The women, keeping their voices low as they worked
K26 0400  5    around the house or sat in the living room, sounded
K26 0410  1    like chickens shut up in a coop for the night. The
K26 0410 12    children had to play away from the house (in the barn
K26 0420  9    loft or the pasture behind the barn), to maintain a
K26 0430  5    proper quietness.
K26 0430  7       Off and on, all day, someone would be wiping at
K26 0440  5    the powdery gray dust that settled over everything.
K26 0450  1    The evaporative cooler had been moved to Granny's room,
K26 0450 10    and her door was kept shut; so that the rest of the
K26 0460 12    house stayed open, though there was a question as to
K26 0470  8    whether it was hotter or cooler that way.
K26 0480  2       The dust clogged their throats, and the heat parched
K26 0480 11    them, so that the women were always making ice water.
K26 0490 10    They had cleaned up an old ice box and begun to buy
K26 0500 10    fifty-pound blocks of ice in town, as the electric
K26 0510  4    refrigerator came nowhere near providing enough ice
K26 0510 11    for the crowds who ate and drank there.
K26 0520  8       One afternoon, as the women sat clucking softly,
K26 0530  4    a new carload of people pulled up at the gate. It was
K26 0540  3    a Cadillac, black grayed with the dust of the road,
K26 0540 13    its windows closed tight so you knew that the people
K26 0550  9    who climbed out of it would be cool and unwrinkled.
K26 0560  5    They were an old fat couple (as Linda Kay described
K26 0570  2    them to herself), a thick middle-aged man, and a girl
K26 0570 13    about ten or twelve.
K26 0580  4       There was much embracing, much exclaiming. "Cousin
K26 0590  1    Ada! Cousin John"! "Cousin Lura"! "Cousin Howard"!
K26 0600  2    "And how is she"? "About the same, John, about the
K26 0610  2    same".
K26 0610  3       All the women got up and offered their chairs, and
K26 0620  1    when they were all seated again, the guests made their
K26 0620 11    inquiries and their explanations.
K26 0630  3       "We were on our vacation in Canada", Howard explained,
K26 0640  3    in a muffled voice that must have been used to booming,
K26 0650  1    "and the news didn't catch up with us till we were
K26 0650 12    nearly home. We came on as soon as we could".
K26 0660  9       There was the suggestion of ice water, and- in spite
K26 0670  7    of the protest "We're not really thirsty"- Linda Kay,
K26 0680  3    to escape the stuffy air and the smothering soft voices,
K26 0690  3    hurried to the kitchen.
K26 0690  7       She filled a big pitcher and set it, with glasses,
K26 0700  6    on a tray. Carrying it to the living room, she imagined
K26 0710  3    the picture she made: tall and roundly slim, a bit
K26 0710 13    sophisticated in her yellow sheath, with a graceful
K26 0720  8    swingy walk that she had learned as a twirler with
K26 0730  7    the school band. Almost immediately she was ashamed
K26 0740  3    of herself for feeling vain, at such a time, in such
K26 0740 14    a place, and she tossed back her long yellow hair,
K26 0750 10    smiling shyly as she entered the room.
K26 0760  4       Howard (the thick middle-aged man) was looking at
K26 0770  2    her. She felt the look and looked back because she
K26 0770 12    could not help it, seeing that he was neither as old
K26 0780  9    nor as thick as she had at first believed.
K26 0790  2       "And who is this"? he asked, when she passed him
K26 0800  2    a glass.
K26 0800  4       "Oh that's Linda Kay", Mama Albright said fondly.
K26 0810  3    "She married our baby boy, Bobby Joe, this summer".
K26 0820  1       "Let's see", Cousin Ada said. "He's a right smart
K26 0830  1    younger than the rest"?
K26 0830  5       "Oh yes", Mama laughed. "He's ten years younger
K26 0840  4    than Ernest. We didn't expect him to come along; thought
K26 0850  3    for the longest he was a tumor".
K26 0850 10       This joke was not funny to Linda Kay, and she blushed,
K26 0860 10    as she always did; then, hearing the muffled boom of
K26 0870  7    Howard's laughter, blushed redder.
K26 0880  1       "Who is Howard, anyway"? she asked Bobby Joe that
K26 0890  1    night. "He makes me uncomfortable".
K26 0890  6       "Oh he's a second cousin or something. He got in
K26 0900  7    the oil business out at Odessa and lucked into some
K26 0910  4    money".
K26 0910  5       "How old is he"?
K26 0910  9       "Gosh, I don't know. Thirty-five, I guess. He's
K26 0920  9    been married and got this half-grown kid. If he bothers
K26 0930  9    you, don't pay him any mind. He's just a big windbag".
K26 0940  6    Bobby Joe was thinking about something else. "Say,
K26 0950  3    did you know they're fixing to have a two-day antelope
K26 0960  1    season on the Double ~X"?
K26 0960  6       He was talking about antelope again when they woke
K26 0970  5    up. "Listen, I never had a chance to kill an antelope.
K26 0980  4    There never was a season before, but now they want
K26 0990  1    to thin 'em out on account of the drouth".
K26 0990 10       "Did he ever visit here when he was a kid"? Linda
K26 1000  9    Kay asked.
K26 1000 11       "Who"?
K26 1010  1       "Howard".
K26 1010  2       "Hell, I don't know. When he was a kid I wasn't
K26 1020  6    around".
K26 1020  7       Bobby Joe took a gun from behind the door, and with
K26 1030  5    a quick "Bye now" was gone for the day.
K26 1040  1       Almost immediately Howard and his daughter Debora
K26 1040  8    drove up in the Cadillac.
K26 1050  3       "We're going after ice", Howard said, "and thought
K26 1060  2    maybe you'd go along and keep us company".
K26 1060 10       There was really no reason to refuse, and Linda
K26 1070  9    Kay had never ridden in a Cadillac.
K26 1080  3       Driving along the caliche-topped road to town, Howard
K26 1090  1    talked. Finally he said, "Tell me about yourself",
K26 1090  9    and Linda Kay told him, because she thought herself
K26 1100  8    that she had had an interesting life. She was such
K26 1110  5    a well-rounded teenager, having been a twirler, Future
K26 1120  2    Farmers sweetheart, and secretary of Future Homemakers.
K26 1130  1    In her sophomore year she had started going steady
K26 1130 10    with Bobby Joe, who was a football player, Future Homemakers
K26 1140  8    sweetheart, and president of Future Farmers. It was
K26 1150  6    easy to see that they were made for each other, and
K26 1160  4    they knew what they wanted. Bobby Joe would be a senior
K26 1170  1    this year, and he planned to graduate. But there was
K26 1170 11    no need for Linda Kay to go on, since all she wanted
K26 1180 10    in life was to make a home for Bobby Joe and (blushing)
K26 1190  6    raise his children.
K26 1190  9       Howard sighed. "You lucky kids", he said. "I'd give
K26 1200  8    anything if I could have found a girl like you". Then
K26 1210  8    he told Linda Kay about himself. Of course he couldn't
K26 1220  5    say much, really, because of Debora, but Linda Kay
K26 1230  3    could imagine what kind of woman his wife had been
K26 1230 13    and what a raw deal he had got. It made her feel different
K26 1240 13    about Howard.
K26 1250  1       She was going to tell Bobby Joe about how mistaken
K26 1250 11    she had been, but he brought one of the cousins home
K26 1260 10    for supper, and all they did was talk about antelope.
K26 1270  6       Bobby Joe was trying to get Linda Kay to say she
K26 1280  5    would cook one if he brought it home.
K26 1280 13       "Cook a whole antelope"? she exclaimed. "Why, I
K26 1290  8    couldn't even cook a piece of antelope steak; I never
K26 1300  8    even saw any".
K26 1300 11       "Oh, you could. I want to roast the whole thing,
K26 1310 10    and have it for the boys".
K26 1320  1       Linda Kay told him he couldn't do anything like
K26 1320 10    that with his Grandma dying, and he said well they
K26 1330 10    had to eat, didn't they, they weren't all dying. Linda
K26 1340  7    Kay felt like going off to the bedroom to cry; but
K26 1350  5    they were going up to the Big House after supper, and
K26 1360  2    she had to put on a clean dress and fix her hair a
K26 1360 15    little.
K26 1370  1       Every night they all went to Mama and Papa Albright's,
K26 1370 11    and sat on the open front porch, where they could get
K26 1380 11    the breeze. It was full-of-the-moon (or a little past),
K26 1390  9    and nearly light as day. They all sat around and drank
K26 1400  5    ice water, and the men smoked, and everybody had a
K26 1410  2    good time. Once in a while they said what a shame it
K26 1410 14    was, with Granny dying, but they all agreed she wouldn't
K26 1420  8    have wanted it any other way.
K26 1430  2       That night the older men got to talking about going
K26 1430 12    possum-hunting on a moonlight night. Bobby Joe and
K26 1440  8    two or three of the other boys declared they had never
K26 1450  7    been possum-hunting, and Uncle Bill Farnworth (from
K26 1460  3    Mama Albright's side of the family) said he would just
K26 1461  2    get up from there and take them, right then.
K26 1470  9       After they had left, some of the people moved around,
K26 1480  9    to find more comfortable places to sit. There were
K26 1490  5    not many chairs, so that some preferred to sit on the
K26 1500  3    edge of the porch, resting their feet on the ground,
K26 1500 13    and others liked to sit where they could lean back
K26 1510  9    against the wall. Howard, who had been sitting against
K26 1520  6    the wall, said he needed more fresh air, and took the
K26 1530  4    spot on the edge of the porch where Bobby Joe had been
K26 1540  1    sitting.
K26 1540  2       "You'll be a darn sight more comfortable there,
K26 1540 10    Howard", Ernest said, laughing, and they all laughed.
K26 1550  8       Linda Kay felt that she was not exactly more comfortable.
K26 1560 10    Bobby Joe had been sitting close to her, touching her
K26 1570  8    actually, and holding her hand from time to time, but
K26 1580  6    it seemed at once that Howard sat much closer. Perhaps
K26 1590  2    it was just that he had so much more flesh, so that
K26 1590 14    more of it seemed to come in contact with hers; but
K26 1600 10    she had never been so aware of anyone's flesh before.
K26 1610  5       Still she was not sorry he sat by her, but in fact
K26 1620  6    was flattered. He had become the center of the company,
K26 1630  2    such stories he had to tell. He had sold oil stock
K26 1630 13    to Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in person; he had helped
K26 1640  9    fight an oil-well fire that raged six days and nights.
K27 0010  1       "But tell me, doctor, where do you plan to conduct
K27 0010 11    the hatching"? Alex asked.
K27 0020  3       "That will have to be in the hotel", the doctor
K27 0030  3    retorted, confirming Alex's anticipations. "What I
K27 0040  1    want you to do is to go to the market with me early
K27 0040 14    tomorrow morning and help smuggle the hen back into
K27 0050  8    the hotel".
K27 0050 10       The doctor paid the bill and they repaired to the
K27 0060  8    hotel, room number nine, to initiate Alex further into
K27 0070  4    these undertakings.
K27 0070  6       The doctor opened the smallest of his cases, an
K27 0080  7    unimposing straw bag, and exposed the contents for
K27 0090  2    Alex's inspection. Inside, carefully packed in straw,
K27 0100  1    were six eggs, but the eye of a poultry psychologist
K27 0100 11    was required to detect what scientifically valuable
K27 0110  4    specimentalia lay inside; to Alex they were merely
K27 0120  4    six not unusual hens' eggs. There was little enough
K27 0130  1    time to contemplate them, however; in an instant the
K27 0130 10    doctor was stalking across the room with an antique
K27 0140  7    ledger in his hands, thoroughly eared and big as a
K27 0150  6    table top. He placed it on Alex's lap.
K27 0160  1       "This is my hen ledger", he informed him in an absorbed
K27 0160 11    way. "It's been going since 1908 when I was a junior
K27 0170 10    in college. That first entry there is the Vermont Flumenophobe,
K27 0180  7    the earliest and one of the most successful of my eighty-three
K27 0190  8    varieties- great big scapulars and hardly any primaries
K27 0200  5    at all. Couldn't take them near a river, though, or
K27 0210  3    they'd squawk like a turkey cock the day before Thanksgiving".
K27 0220  1       The ledger was full of most precise information:
K27 0230  1    date of laying, length of incubation period, number
K27 0230  9    of chicks reaching the first week, second week, fifth
K27 0240  7    week, weight of hen, size of rooster's wattles and
K27 0250  3    so on, all scrawled out in a hand that looked more
K27 0260  1    Chinese than English, the most jagged and sprawling
K27 0260  9    Alex had ever seen. Below these particulars was a series
K27 0270  7    of alpha-beta-gammas connected by arrows and crosses
K27 0280  5    which denoted the lineage of the breed. Alex's instruction
K27 0290  2    was rapid, for the doctor had to go off to the Rue
K27 0300  1    Ecole de Medecine to hear more speeches with only time
K27 0300 11    for one sip of wine to sustain him through them all.
K27 0310  9    But after the doctor's return that night Alex could
K27 0320  5    see, from the high window in his own room, the now
K27 0330  3    familiar figure crouched on a truly impressive heap
K27 0330 11    of towels, apparently giving its egg-hatching powers
K27 0340  7    one final chance before it was replaced in its office
K27 0350  6    by a sure-enough hen.
K27 0350 11       A knocking at Alex's door roused him at six o'clock
K27 0360  8    the following morning. It was the doctor, dressed and
K27 0370  6    ready for the expedition to the market, and Alex was
K27 0380  3    obliged to prepare himself in haste. The doctor stood
K27 0380 12    about, waiting for Alex to dress, with a show of impatience,
K27 0390 11    and soon they were moving, as quietly as could be,
K27 0400  8    through the still-dark hallways, past the bedroom of
K27 0410  5    the patronne, and so into the street. The market was
K27 0420  3    not far and, once there, the doctor's sense of immediacy
K27 0430  1    left him and he fell into a state of harmony with the
K27 0430 13    birds around him. He stroked the hens and they responded
K27 0440  8    with delighted clucks, he gobbled with the turkeys
K27 0450  4    and they at once were all attention, he quacked with
K27 0460  2    the ducks, and cackled with a pair of exceedingly flattered
K27 0460 12    geese. The dawn progressed and it seemed that the doctor
K27 0470 10    would never be done with his ministrations when quite
K27 0480  7    abruptly something broke his revery. It was a fine
K27 0490  5    broody hen, white, with a maternal eye and a striking
K27 0500  1    abundance of feathers in the under region of the abdomen.
K27 0500 11    The doctor, with the air of a man whose professional
K27 0510  9    interests have found scope, drew Alex's attention to
K27 0520  5    those excellences which might otherwise have escaped
K27 0530  3    him: the fine color in comb and wattles, the length
K27 0530 13    and quality of neck and saddle hackles, the firm, wide
K27 0540 10    spread of the toes, and a rare justness in the formation
K27 0550  9    of the ear lappets. All search was ended; he had found
K27 0560  6    his fowl. The purchase was effected and they made their
K27 0570  4    way towards the hotel again, the hen, with whom some
K27 0580  1    sort of communication had been set up, nestling in
K27 0580 10    the doctor's arms.
K27 0590  1       The clocks struck seven-thirty as they approached
K27 0590  9    the hotel entrance; and hopes that the chambermaid
K27 0600  7    and patronne would still be abed began to rise in Alex's
K27 0610  8    well exercised breast. The doctor was wearing a long
K27 0620  5    New England greatcoat, hardly necessary in the June
K27 0630  2    weather but a garment which proved well adapted to
K27 0630 11    the sequestration of hens. Alex entered first and was
K27 0640  8    followed by the doctor who, for all his care, manifested
K27 0650  6    a perceptible bulge on his left side where the hen
K27 0660  3    was cradled. They advanced in a line across the entrance
K27 0670  1    hall to the stairway and up, with gingerly steps, towards
K27 0680 10    the first landing. It was then that they heard the
K27 0690  8    tread of one descending and, in some perturbation glancing
K27 0700  4    up, saw the patronne coming towards them as they gained
K27 0710  4    the landing.
K27 0710  6       "Bonjour, messieurs, vous etes matinals", she greeted
K27 0720  4    them pleasantly. Alex explained that they had been
K27 0730  2    out for a stroll before breakfast while the doctor
K27 0730 11    edged around behind him, attempting to hide the protuberance
K27 0740  8    at his left side behind Alex's arm and back.
K27 0750  5       "Vous voulez vos petits dejeuners tout de suite
K27 0760  4    alors"? their hostess enquired. Alex told her that
K27 0770  1    there was no hurry for their breakfasts, trying at
K27 0770 10    the same time to effect a speedy separation of the
K27 0780  7    persons before and behind him. The doctor, he noticed,
K27 0790  4    was attempting a transverse movement towards the stairs,
K27 0800  1    but before the movement could be completed a distinct
K27 0800 10    and audible cluck ruffled the air in the hollow of
K27 0810  9    the stair-well. Eyes swerved in the patronne's head,
K27 0820  5    Alex coughed loudly, and the doctor, with a sforzando
K27 0830  4    of chicken noises floating behind him, took to the
K27 0830 13    stairs in long-shanked leaps.
K27 0840  5       "Comment"? ejaculated the surprised woman, looking
K27 0850  3    at Alex for an explanation but he, parting from her
K27 0860  2    without ceremony, only offered a few words about the
K27 0860 11    doctor's provincial American speech and a state of
K27 0870  8    nerves brought on by the demands of his work. With
K27 0880  5    that he hurried up the stairs, followed by her suspicious
K27 0900  1    gaze.
K27 0900  2       When Alex entered his room, the doctor was already
K27 0910  1    preparing a nest in the straw case, six eggs ready
K27 0910 11    for the hen's attentions. There was no reference to
K27 0920  7    the incident on the stairs, his powers being absorbed
K27 0930  4    by this more immediate business. The hen appeared to
K27 0940  2    have no doubts as to her duties and was quick to settle
K27 0940 14    down to the performance of them. One part of her audience
K27 0950 11    was totally engaged, the connoisseur witnessing a peculiarly
K27 0960  6    fine performance of some ancient classic, the other
K27 0970  5    part, the guest of the connoisseur, attentive as one
K27 0980  3    who must take an intelligent interest in that which
K27 0980 12    he does not fully understand. The spectacle progressed
K27 0990  7    towards a denouement which was obviously still remote;
K27 1000  5    the audience attended. Time elapsed but the doctor
K27 1010  4    was obviously unconscious of its passage until an unwelcome
K27 1020  1    knock on the door interrupted the processes of nature.
K27 1020 10    Startled, he jumped up to pull hen and case out of
K27 1030 11    view, and Alex went to the door. He opened it a crack
K27 1040  7    and in doing so made as much shuffling, coughing, and
K27 1050  3    scraping noise as possible in order to drown emanations
K27 1060  1    from the hen who had begun to protest. It was Giselle,
K27 1060 12    the fille de chambre, come to clean the room, and while
K27 1070  9    she stood before him with ears pricked up and regard
K27 1080  6    all curiosity, explaining her errand, Alex could see
K27 1090  3    from the corner of his eye the doctor doing all he
K27 1090 14    could to calm the displeased bird. Giselle was reluctant
K27 1100  9    but Alex succeeded in persuading her to come back in
K27 1110  8    five minutes and the door was shut again.
K27 1120  2       "Who was that, young feller"? the doctor instantly
K27 1130  1    asked.
K27 1130  2       "That was the fille de chambre, the one you thought
K27 1140  1    couldn't get the eggs out. She looked mighty interested,
K27 1140 10    though. Anyhow she's coming back in five minutes to
K27 1150  9    do the room".
K27 1160  1       The doctor's mind was working at a great speed;
K27 1160 10    he rose to put his greatcoat on and addressed Alex
K27 1170  7    in a muted voice.
K27 1170 11       "Have you got our keys handy"?
K27 1180  6       "Right in my pocket".
K27 1190  1       "All right. Now you go outside and beckon me when
K27 1190 11    it's safe". The hall was empty and Alex beckoned; they
K27 1200  9    climbed the stairs which creaked, very loudly to their
K27 1210  7    sensitive ears, and reached the next floor. A guest
K27 1220  4    was locking his room; they passed behind him and got
K27 1230  2    to Alex's room unnoticed. The doctor sat down rather
K27 1230 11    wearily, caressing the hen and remarking that the city
K27 1240  9    was not the place for a poultry-loving man, but no
K27 1250  6    sooner was the remark out than a knock at this door
K27 1260  2    obliged him to cover the hen with his greatcoat once
K27 1260 12    more. At the door Alex managed to persuade the increasingly
K27 1270  9    astonished fille de chambre to return in ten minutes.
K27 1280  8    It was evident that a second transfer had to be effected,
K27 1290  6    and that it had to take place between the time the
K27 1300  3    fille finished the doctor's room and the time she began
K27 1310  1    Alex's. They waited three minutes and then crept out
K27 1310 10    on tip-toe; the halls were empty and they passed down
K27 1320  9    the stairs to number nine and listened at the door.
K27 1330  6    A bustle of sheets being smoothed and pillows being
K27 1340  2    arranged indicated the fille de chambre's presence
K27 1340  9    inside; they listened and suddenly a step towards the
K27 1350  9    door announced another important fact. The doctor shot
K27 1360  7    down to the lavatory and turned the doorknob, but to
K27 1370  5    no effect: the lavatory was occupied. Although a look
K27 1380  3    of alarm passed over his face, he did not arrest his
K27 1380 14    movements but disappeared into the shower room just
K27 1390  8    as the chambermaid emerged from number nine. Alex suppressed
K27 1400  6    those expressions of relief which offered to prevail
K27 1410  4    in his face and escape from his throat; unwarranted
K27 1420  1    they were in any case for, as he stood facing the fille
K27 1420 13    de chambre, his ears were assailed by new sounds from
K27 1430  9    the interior of the shower room. The events of the
K27 1440  6    last quarter of an hour, mysterious to any bird accustomed
K27 1450  4    only to the predictable life of coop and barnyard,
K27 1460  1    had overcome the doctor's hen and she gave out a series
K27 1460 12    of cackly wails, perhaps mourning her nest, but briefly
K27 1470  7    enjoyed. The doctor's wits had not left him, however,
K27 1480  7    for all his sixty-eight years, and the wails were almost
K27 1490  4    immediately lost in the sound of water rushing out
K27 1500  1    from the showerhead. Alex nodded to the maid as though
K27 1500 11    nothing unusual were taking place and entered the doctor's
K27 1510  8    room. Shortly, the doctor himself entered, his hair
K27 1520  5    somewhat wet from the shower, but evidently satisfied
K27 1530  2    with the outcome of their adventures. Without comment
K27 1530 10    he opened the closet and from its shelves constructed
K27 1540  9    a highboard around the egg case which he had placed
K27 1550  8    on the floor inside. Next, the hen was nested and all
K27 1560  5    seemed well. The two men sat for some time, savoring
K27 1570  1    the pleasure of escape from peril and the relief such
K27 1570 11    escape brings, before they got up and left the hotel,
K27 1580  9    the doctor to go to the conference house and Alex to
K27 1590  5    go to the main post office.
K27 1590 11       Alex returned to the hotel, rather weary and with
K27 1600  8    no new prospects of a role, in the late afternoon,
K27 1610  5    but found the doctor in an ebullient mood. At the time
K27 1620  3    Alex arrived he was engaged in some sort of intimate
K27 1620 13    communication with the hen, who had settled herself
K27 1630  8    on the nest most peacefully after the occurrences of
K27 1640  5    the morning.
K27 1640  7       "Chickens have short memories", the doctor remarked,
K27 1650  5    "that's why they are better company than most people
K27 1660  4    I know", and he went on to break some important news
K27 1670  2    to Alex. "Well", he began, "It seems like some people
K27 1680  1    in Paris want to hear more from me than those fellers
K27 1680 12    over at the conference house do. They've got a big
K27 1690  7    vulture from Tanganika at the zoo here, with a wife
K27 1700  6    for him, too, very rare birds, both of them, the only
K27 1710  2    Vulturidae of their species outside Africa. Seems like
K27 1720  1    she's willing, but the male just flops around all day
K27 1730 10    like the bashful boy who took Jeannie May behind the
K27 1740  7    barn and then didn't know what to do, and the people
K27 1750  5    at the zoo haven't got any vulture chicks to show for
K27 1760  2    their trouble.
K28 0010  1       Going downstairs with the tray, Winston wished he
K28 0010  9    could have given in to Miss Ada, but he knew better
K28 0020 10    than to do what she said when she had that little-girl
K28 0030  6    look. There were times it wasn't right to make a person
K28 0040  5    happy, like the times she came in the kitchen and asked
K28 0050  1    for a peanut butter sandwich. "You know we don't keep
K28 0050 11    peanut butter in this house", he always told her. "Why,
K28 0060  9    Winston", she'd cry, "I just now saw you eating it
K28 0070  9    out of the jar"! But he knew how important it was for
K28 0080  7    her to keep her figure.
K28 0080 12    ##
K28 0080 13    In the kitchen, Leona, his little young wife, was reading
K28 0090  9    the morning paper. Her legs hung down long and thin
K28 0100  8    as she sat on the high stool.
K28 0110  1       "Here", Winston said gently, "what's these dishes
K28 0110  8    doing not washed"? The enormous plates which had held
K28 0120  8    Mr& Jack's four fried eggs and five strips of bacon
K28 0130  8    were still stacked in the sink.
K28 0140  1       "Leave me alone", Leona said. "Can't you see I'm
K28 0150  1    busy"? She looked at him impudently over the corner
K28 0150 10    of the paper.
K28 0160  1       "This is moving day", Winston reminded her, "and
K28 0160  9    I bet you left things every which way upstairs, your
K28 0170  9    clothes all over the floor and the bed not made. Leona"!
K28 0180  8    His eye had fastened on her leg; bending, he touched
K28 0190  5    her knee. "If I catch you one more time down here without
K28 0200  4    stockings"-
K28 0200  5       She twitched her leg away. "Fuss, fuss, old man".
K28 0210  5    She had an alley cat's manners.
K28 0220  1       Winston stacked Miss Ada's thin pink dishes in the
K28 0220  9    sink. Then he spread out the last list on the counter.
K28 0230  9    "To Be Left Behind" was printed at the top in Miss
K28 0240  8    Ada; fine hand. Winston took out a pencil, admired
K28 0250  4    the point, and wrote slowly and heavily, "Clothes Stand".
K28 0260  2       Sighing, Leona dropped the paper and stood up. "I
K28 0270  1    guess I better get ready to go".
K28 0270  8       Winston watched her fumbling to untie her apron.
K28 0280  5    "Here". Carefully, he undid the bow. "How come your
K28 0290  4    bows is always cockeyed"?
K28 0290  8       She turned and put her arms around his neck. "I
K28 0300  8    don't want to leave here, Winston".
K28 0310  1       "Now listen to that". He drew back, embarrassed
K28 0320  1    and pleased. "I thought you was sick to death of this
K28 0320 12    big house. Said you wore yourself out, cleaning all
K28 0330  7    these empty rooms".
K28 0340  1       "At least there is room here", she said. "What room
K28 0340 10    is there going to be in an apartment for any child"?
K28 0350  9       "I told you what Miss Ada's doctor said".
K28 0360  5       "I don't mean Miss Ada! What you think I care about
K28 0370  7    that? I mean our children". She sounded as though they
K28 0380  5    already existed.
K28 0380  7       In spite of the hundred things he had on his mind,
K28 0390  7    Winston went and put his arm around her waist. "We've
K28 0400  3    got plenty of time to think about that. All the time
K28 0410  2    in the world. We've only been married four years, January".
K28 0420  1       "Four years"! she wailed. "That's a long time, waiting".
K28 0430  1       "How many times have I told you"- he began, and
K28 0440  1    was almost glad when she cut him off- "Too many times"!-
K28 0450  1    and flounced to the sink, where she began noisily to
K28 0450 11    wash her hands.
K28 0460  1       Too many times was the truth of it, Winston thought.
K28 0460 11    He hardly believed his reason himself any more. Although
K28 0470  8    it had seemed a good reason, to begin with: no couple
K28 0480  7    could afford to have children.
K28 0490  1       "How you going to work with a child hanging on you"?
K28 0490 12    he asked Leona. "You want to keep this job, don't you"?
K28 0500 10    He doubted whether she heard him, over the running
K28 0510  8    water.
K28 0510  9       He sat for a while with his hands on his knees,
K28 0520  8    watching the bend of her back as she gathered up her
K28 0530  4    things- a comb, a bottle of aspirin- to take upstairs
K28 0540  1    and pack. She made him sad some days, and he was never
K28 0540 13    sure why; it was something to do with her back, the
K28 0550 10    thinness of it, and the quick, jerky way she bent.
K28 0560  6    She was too young, that was all; too young and thin
K28 0570  3    and straight.
K28 0570  5       "Winston"!
K28 0570  6       It was Mr& Jack, bellowing out in the hall. Winston
K28 0580  8    hurried through the swinging door. "I've been bursting
K28 0590  5    my lungs for you", Mr& Jack complained. He was standing
K28 0600  5    in front of the mirror, tightening his tie. He had
K28 0610  3    on his gray tweed overcoat and his city hat, and his
K28 0610 14    brief case lay on the bench. "I don't know what you
K28 0620 11    think you've been doing about my clothes", he said.
K28 0630  7    "This coat looks like a rag heap".
K28 0640  1       There were a few blades of lint on the shoulder.
K28 0640 11    Winston took the clothesbrush out of the closet and
K28 0650  9    went to work. He gave Mr& Jack a real going-over; he
K28 0660  7    brushed his shoulders and his back and his collar with
K28 0670  5    long, firm strokes. "Hey"! Mr& Jack cried when the
K28 0680  3    brush tipped his hat down over his eyes.
K28 0680 11       Winston apologized and quickly set the hat right.
K28 0690  8    Then he stood back to look at Mr& Jack, who was pulling
K28 0700  7    on his pigskin gloves. Winston enjoyed seeing him start
K28 0710  4    out; he wore his clothes with style. When he was going
K28 0720  2    to town, nothing was good enough- he had cursed at
K28 0720 12    Winston once for leaving a fleck of polish on his shoelace.
K28 0730 11    At home, he wouldn't even wash his hands for supper,
K28 0740  7    and he wandered around the yard in a pair of sweaty
K28 0750  6    old corduroys. The velvet smoking jackets, pearl-gray,
K28 0760  1    wine, and blue, which Miss Ada had bought him hung
K28 0760 11    brushed and unworn in the closet.
K28 0770  5       "Good-by, Winston", Mr& Jack said, giving a final
K28 0780  4    set to his hat. "Look out for those movers"! Winston
K28 0790  2    watched him hurry down the drive to his car; a handsome,
K28 0800  1    fine-looking man it made him proud to see.
K28 0800 10    ##
K28 0800 11    After Mr& Jack drove away, Winston went on looking
K28 0810  7    out the window. He noticed a speck of dirt on the sill
K28 0820  6    and swiped at it with his finger. Then he looked at
K28 0830  2    his finger, at the wrinkled, heavy knuckle and the
K28 0830 11    thick nail he used like a knife to pry up, slit, and
K28 0840 10    open. For the first time, he let himself be sad about
K28 0850  6    the move. That house was ten years off his life. Each
K28 0860  2    brass handle and hinge shone for his reward, and he
K28 0860 12    knew how to get at the dust in the china flowers and
K28 0870 11    how to take down the long glass drops which hung from
K28 0880  6    the chandelier. He knew the house like a blind man,
K28 0890  4    through his fingers, and he did not like to think of
K28 0890 15    all the time and rags and polishes he had spent on
K28 0900 11    keeping it up.
K28 0901  1       Ten years ago, he had come to the house to be interviewed.
K28 0910 11    The tulips and the big pink peonies had been blooming
K28 0920  7    along the drive, and he had walked up from the bus
K28 0930  5    almost singing. Miss Ada had been out back, in a straw
K28 0940  1    hat, planting flowers. She had talked to him right
K28 0940 10    there, with the hot sun in his face, which made him
K28 0950  9    sweat and feel ashamed. Winston had been surprised
K28 0960  4    at her for that. Still, he had liked the way she had
K28 0970  2    looked, in a fresh, neat cotton dress- citron yellow,
K28 0970 11    if he remembered. She had had a dignity about her,
K28 0980  8    even barefoot and almost too tan.
K28 0990  2       Since then, the flowers she had planted had spread
K28 0990 11    all over the hill. Already the jonquils were blooming
K28 1000  9    in a flock by the front gate, and the periwinkles were
K28 1010  6    coming on, blue by the porch steps. In a week the hyacinths
K28 1020  6    would spike out. And the dogwood in early May, for
K28 1030  3    Miss Ada's alfresco party; and after that the Japanese
K28 1050  1    cherries. Now the yard looked wet and bald, the trees
K28 1050 11    bare under their buds, but in a while Miss Ada's flowers
K28 1060  9    would bloom like a marching parade. She had dug a hole
K28 1070  7    for each bulb, each tree wore a tag with her writing
K28 1080  3    on it; where would she go for her gardening now? Somehow
K28 1090  1    Winston didn't think she'd take to window boxes.
K28 1100  1       Sighing, he hurried to the living room. He had a
K28 1100 10    thousand things to see to. Still, he couldn't help
K28 1110  6    thinking, we're all getting old, getting small; the
K28 1120  3    snail is pulling in her horns.
K28 1120  9       In the living room, Miss Ada was standing by the
K28 1130  8    window with a sheaf of lists in her hand. She was looking
K28 1140  6    out at the garden.
K28 1140 10       "Winston", she said, "get the basket for the breakables".
K28 1150  9       Winston had the big straw basket ready in the hall.
K28 1160  9    He brought it in and put it down beside her. Miss Ada
K28 1170  7    was looking fine; she had on her Easter suit, blue,
K28 1180  3    with lavender binding. Halfway across the house, he
K28 1190  1    could have smelled her morning perfume. It hung in
K28 1190 10    all her day clothes, sweet and strong; sometimes when
K28 1200  6    he was pressing, Winston raised her dresses to his
K28 1210  5    face.
K28 1210  6       Frowning, Miss Ada studied the list. "Well, let's
K28 1220  3    see. The china lemon tree. The alabaster cockatoo".
K28 1230  1    Winston followed her around the room, collecting the
K28 1230  9    small frail objects (Christmas, birthday, and anniversary)
K28 1240  6    and wrapping them in tissue paper. Neither of them
K28 1250  7    trusted the movers.
K28 1250 10       When they came to Mr& Jack's photograph, twenty
K28 1260  7    by twelve inches in a curly silver frame, Miss Ada
K28 1270  5    said, "By rights I ought to leave that, seeing he won't
K28 1280  4    take my clotheshorse". She smiled at Winston, and he
K28 1290  3    saw the hateful hard glitter in her eyes. He picked
K28 1290 13    up the photograph and began to wrap it.
K28 1300  6       "At least you could leave it for the movers", Miss
K28 1310  5    Ada said. "What possessed you to tell me a clotheshorse
K28 1320  3    would be a good idea"?
K28 1320  8       Winston folded the tissue paper carefully. "He's
K28 1330  5    used it every day; every morning, I lay out his clothes
K28 1340  6    on it".
K28 1340  8       "Well, that's over now. And it was his main present!
K28 1350  7    Leave that fool picture out", she added sharply.
K28 1360  2       Winston laid it in the basket. "Mr& Jack sets store
K28 1370  2    by that".
K28 1370  4       "Really, Winston. It was meant to be my present".
K28 1380  3    But she went on down the list.
K28 1380 10       Winston was relieved; those presents had been on
K28 1390  7    his mind. He had only agreed with Miss Ada about getting
K28 1400  6    the valet, but he had actually suggested the photograph
K28 1410  3    to Mr& Jack. "You know what she likes, Winston", he
K28 1420  2    had said wearily, one evening in November when Winston
K28 1420 11    was pulling off his overshoes. "Tell me what to get
K28 1430 10    her for Christmas".
K28 1440  1       "She's been talking about a picture", Winston had
K28 1440  9    told him.
K28 1450  2       "Picture! You mean picture of me"? But Winston had
K28 1460  2    persuaded him.
K28 1460  4       On Christmas night, they had had a disagreement
K28 1470  1    about it. Winston had heard because he was setting
K28 1470 10    up the liquor tray in the next room. Through the door,
K28 1480 10    he had seen Mr& Jack walking around, waiting for Miss
K28 1490  6    Ada. Finally she had come down; Winston had heard her
K28 1500  5    shaking out the skirt of her new pink silk hostess
K28 1510  2    gown.
K28 1510  3       "How do you like it"? she had asked.
K28 1520  1       Mr& Jack had said, "You look about fifteen years
K28 1520 10    old".
K28 1530  1       "Is that a compliment"?
K28 1530  5       "I don't know". He had stood at a little distance,
K28 1540  6    studying her, as though he would walk around next and
K28 1550  3    look at the back of her head.
K28 1550 10       "Lovie, you make me feel naked". Miss Ada had giggled,
K28 1560  8    and she went sweeping and rustling to the couch and
K28 1570  5    sank down.
K28 1570  7       "You look like that picture I have at the office",
K28 1580  6    Mr& Jack had started. "Not a line, not a wrinkle. I
K28 1590  5    look like an old man, compared", and he had picked
K28 1600  1    up his photograph with the red Christmas bow still
K28 1600 10    on it. "Look, an old man. Will you wear pink when you're
K28 1610 10    sixty"?
K28 1610 11       "Darling, I love that photograph. I'm going to put
K28 1620  9    it on my dresser".
K28 1630  1       "I guess it's children make a woman old. A man gets
K28 1640  1    old anyhow". After a minute he went on, "People must
K28 1640 11    think the curse is on me, seeing you fresh as an apple
K28 1650 11    and me old and gray".
K28 1660  1       "I'll give you a medical certificate, framed, if
K28 1660  9    you like", Miss Ada had said.
K28 1670  5       "No. All I want is a picture- with a few lines.
K28 1680  4    Make the man put them in if he has to".
K28 1680 14       After that they had sat for five minutes without
K28 1690  9    saying a word. Then Miss Ada had stood up, rustling
K28 1700  6    and rustling, and gone upstairs.
K29 0010  1    Was it love? I had no doubt that it was. During the
K29 0010 13    rest of the summer my scholarly mania for making plaster
K29 0020  7    casts and spatter prints of Catskill flowers and leaves
K29 0030  5    was all but surpassed by the constantly renewed impressions
K29 0040  3    of Jessica that my mind served up to me for contemplation
K29 0050  1    and delight.
K29 0050  3    ##
K29 0050  4    Nothing in all the preceding years had had the power
K29 0060  4    to bring me closer to a knowledge of profound sorrow
K29 0060 14    than the breakup of camp, the packing away of my camp
K29 0070 11    uniforms, the severing of ties with the six or ten
K29 0080  8    people I had grown most to love in the world. In final
K29 0090  4    separation from them, in the railroad terminal across
K29 0100  1    the river from New York, I would nearly cry. My parents'
K29 0100 12    welcoming arms would seem woeful, inadequate, unwanted.
K29 0110  7    But that year was different, for just as the city,
K29 0120  7    in the form of my street clothes, had intruded upon
K29 0130  3    my mountain nights, so an essential part of the summer
K29 0140  1    gave promise of continuing into the fall: Jessica and
K29 0140 10    I, about to be separated not by a mere footbridge or
K29 0150  9    messhall kitchen but by the immense obstacle of residing
K29 0160  5    in cruelly distant boroughs, had agreed to correspond.
K29 0170  3       These letters became the center of my existence.
K29 0180  1    I lived to see an envelope of hers in the morning mail
K29 0180 13    and to lock myself in my room in the afternoon to reread
K29 0190 10    her letter for the tenth time and finally prepare an
K29 0200  6    answer. My memory has catalogued for easy reference
K29 0210  2    and withdrawal the image of her pink, scented stationery
K29 0210 11    and the unsloped, almost printed configurations of
K29 0220  7    her neat, studious handwriting with which she invited
K29 0230  5    me to recall our summer, so many sentences beginning
K29 0240  2    with "Remember when **h"; and others concerning camp
K29 0250  2    friends who resided in her suburban neighborhood, and
K29 0250 10    news of her commencing again her piano lessons, her
K29 0260  7    private school, a visit to Boston to see her grandparents
K29 0270  6    and an uncle who was a surgeon returned on furlough,
K29 0280  3    wounded, from the war in Europe.
K29 0280  9       In my letters I took on a personality that differed
K29 0290  8    from the self I knew in real life. Then epistolatory
K29 0300  4    me was a foreign correspondent dispatching exciting
K29 0310  1    cables and communiques, full of dash and wit and glamor,
K29 0310 11    quoting from the books I read, imitating the grand
K29 0320  9    styles of the authors recommended by a teacher in whose
K29 0330  6    special, after-school class I was enrolled. The letters
K29 0340  3    took their source from a stream of my imagination in
K29 0350  2    which I was transformed into a young man not unlike
K29 0350 12    my bunkmate Eliot Sands- he of the porch steps anecdotes-
K29 0360  7    who smoked cigarettes, performed the tango, wore fifty
K29 0370  6    dollar suits, and sneaked off into the dark with girls
K29 0380  5    to do unimaginable things with them. Like Eliot, in
K29 0390  2    my fantasies, I had a proud bearing and, with a skill
K29 0390 13    that was vaguely continental, I would lead Jessica
K29 0400  6    through an evening of dancing and handsome descriptions
K29 0410  4    of my newest exploits, would guide her gently to the
K29 0420  3    night's climax which, in my dreams, was always represented
K29 0430  1    by our almost suffocating one another to death with
K29 0430 10    deep, moist kisses burning with love. The night after
K29 0440  7    reading her letter about her surgeon uncle- it must
K29 0450  3    have been late in September- I had a vision of myself
K29 0460  3    returned in ragged uniform from The Front, nearly dying,
K29 0470  1    my head bandaged and blooded, and Jessica bending over
K29 0470 10    me, the power of her love bringing me back to life.
K29 0480  9    For many nights afterward, the idea of her having been
K29 0490  6    so close to me in that imagined bed would return and
K29 0500  2    fill me with obscure and painful desires, would cause
K29 0500 11    me to lie awake in shame, tossing with irresolution,
K29 0510  7    longing to fall into a deep sleep.
K29 0520  2       The weeks went by, and the longer our separation
K29 0520 11    grew, the more unbounded and almost unbearable my fantasies
K29 0530  9    became. They caused my love for Jessica to become warmer
K29 0540  9    and at the same time more hopeless, as if my adolescent
K29 0550  6    self knew that only torment would ever bring me the
K29 0560  4    courage to ask to see her again.
K29 0560 11       As it turned out, Jessica took matters into her
K29 0570  3    own hands. Having received permission to give a camp
K29 0580  5    reunion-Halloween party, she asked that I come and
K29 0590  1    be her date. I went and, mum and nervous, all but made
K29 0590 13    a fool of myself. Again among those jubilantly reunited
K29 0600  6    bunkmates, I was shy with Jessie and acted as I had
K29 0610  7    during those early Saturday mornings when we all seemed
K29 0620  4    to be playing for effect, to be detached and unconcerned
K29 0630  1    with the girls who were properly our dates but about
K29 0630 11    whom, later, in the privacy of our bunks, we would
K29 0640  8    think in terms of the most elaborate romance. I remember
K29 0650  4    standing in a corner, watching Jessica act the hostess,
K29 0660  2    serving soft drinks to her guests. She was wearing
K29 0660 11    her dark hair in two, thick braids to attain an "American
K29 0670 10    Girl" effect she thought was appropriate to Halloween.
K29 0680  7    It made her look sweet and schoolgirlish, I was excited
K29 0690  5    to be with her, but I did not know how to express it.
K29 0700  4    Yet a moment did come that night when the adventurous
K29 0710  1    letter writer and fantasist seemed to stride off my
K29 0710 10    flashy pages, out of my mind, and plant himself in
K29 0720  8    reality. It was late, we were playing kissing games,
K29 0730  3    and Jessica and I were called on to kiss in front of
K29 0740  2    the others. We blushed and were flustered, and it turned
K29 0740 12    out to be the fleetest brush of lips upon cheek. The
K29 0750 10    kiss outraged our friends but it was done and meanwhile
K29 0760  7    had released in me all the remote, exciting premonitions
K29 0770  2    of lust, all the mysterious sensations that I had imagined
K29 0780  2    a truly consummated kiss would convey to me.
K29 0780 10       It was at that party that, finally overcoming my
K29 0790  8    timidity, inspired by tales only half-understood and
K29 0800  5    overheard among older boys, I asked Jessie to spend
K29 0810  3    New Year's Eve with me. Lovingly, she accepted, and
K29 0810 12    so great was my emotion that all I could think of saying
K29 0820 12    was, "You're amazing, you know"? Later, we agreed to
K29 0830  8    think of how we wished to spend that night. We would
K29 0840  7    write to one another and make a definite plan. She
K29 0850  3    was terribly pleased.
K29 0850  6       Among my school and neighborhood friends, during
K29 0860  3    the next months, I bragged and swaggered and pompously
K29 0870  2    described my impending date. But though I boasted and
K29 0870 11    gave off a dapper front, I was beneath it all frightened.
K29 0880 11    It would be the first time I had ever been completely
K29 0890  8    alone with a girl I loved. I had no idea of what subjects
K29 0900  8    one discussed when alone with a girl, or how one behaved:
K29 0910  5    Should I hold her hand while walking or only when crossing
K29 0920  3    the street? Should I bring along a corsage or send
K29 0930  1    one to her? Was it preferable to meet her at home or
K29 0930 13    in the city? Should I accompany her to the door of
K29 0940  9    her home, or should I ask to be invited in? In or out,
K29 0950  7    should I kiss her goodnight? All this was unknown to
K29 0960  4    me, and yet I had dared to ask her out for the most
K29 0970  1    important night of the year!
K29 0970  6       When in one letter Jessica informed me that her
K29 0980  4    father did not like the idea of her going out alone
K29 0990  1    on New Year's Eve, I knew for a moment an immense relief;
K29 0990 13    but the letter went on: she had cried, she had implored,
K29 1000 11    she had been miserable at his refusal, and finally
K29 1010  6    he had relented- and now how happy she was, how expectant!
K29 1020  5       Her optimism gave me heart. I forced confidence
K29 1030  2    into myself. I made inquiries, I read a book of etiquette.
K29 1040  1    In December I wrote her with authority that we would
K29 1040 11    meet on the steps of the Hotel Astor, a rendezvous
K29 1050 10    spot that I had learned was the most sophisticated.
K29 1060  5    We would attend a film and, later on, I stated, we
K29 1070  4    might go to the Mayflower Coffee Shop or Child's or
K29 1080  2    Toffenetti's for waffles. I set the hour of our meeting
K29 1080 12    for seven.
K29 1090  1    ##
K29 1090  2    At five o'clock that night it was already dark, and
K29 1090 12    behind my closed door I was dressing as carefully as
K29 1100 10    a groom. I wore a new double-breasted brown worsted
K29 1110  5    suit with a faint herringbone design and wide lapels
K29 1120  4    like a devil's ears. My camp-made leather wallet, bulky
K29 1130  1    with twisted, raised stitches around the edges, I stuffed
K29 1130 10    with money I had been saving. Hatless, in an overcoat
K29 1140  9    of rough blue wool, I was given a proud farewell by
K29 1150  8    my mother and father, and I set out into the strangely
K29 1160  4    still streets of Brooklyn. I felt superior to the neighborhood
K29 1170  2    friends I was leaving behind, felt older than my years,
K29 1180  1    and was full of compliments for myself as I headed
K29 1180 11    into the subway that was carrying its packs of passengers
K29 1190  7    out of that dull borough and into the unstable, tantalizing
K29 1200  5    excitement of Manhattan.
K29 1200  8       Times Square, when I ascended to it with my fellow
K29 1210 10    subway travellers (all dressed as if for a huge wedding
K29 1220  8    in a family of which we were all distant members),
K29 1230  2    was nearly impassable, the sidewalks swarming with
K29 1230  9    celebrants, with bundled up sailors and soldiers already
K29 1240  8    hugging their girls and their rationed bottles of whiskey.
K29 1250  7    Heavy-coated, severe-looking policemen sat astride
K29 1260  4    noble horses along the curbside to prevent the revellers
K29 1270  2    from spilling out in front of the crawling traffic.
K29 1270 11    The night was cold but the crowd kept one warm. The
K29 1280 10    giant electric signs and marquees were lit up for the
K29 1290  7    first time since blackout regulations had been instituted,
K29 1300  3    and the atmosphere was alive with the feeling that
K29 1310  1    victory was just around the corner. Cardboard noisemakers,
K29 1310  9    substitutes for the unavailable tin models, were being
K29 1320  8    hawked and bought at makeshift stands every few yards
K29 1330  5    along Broadway, and one's ears were continually serenaded
K29 1340  2    by the horns' rasps and bleats. An old gentlemen next
K29 1350  2    to me held a Boy Scout bugle to his lips and blasted
K29 1350 14    away at every fourth step and during the interim shouted
K29 1360  9    out, "~V for Victory"! His neighbors cheered him on.
K29 1370  6    There was a great sense of camaraderie. How did one
K29 1380  5    join them? Where were they all walking to? Was I supposed
K29 1390  5    to buy a funny hat and a rattle for Jessica?
K29 1400  1       It was a quarter of seven when the crowd washed
K29 1400 11    me up among the other gallants who had established
K29 1410  6    the Astor steps as the beach-head from which to launch
K29 1420  5    their night of merrymaking. I looked over their faces
K29 1430  2    and felt a twinge: they all looked so much more knowing
K29 1430 13    than I. I looked away. I looked for Jessica to materialize
K29 1440 11    out of the clogging, curdling crowd and, as the time
K29 1450  8    passed and I waited, a fiend came to life beside me
K29 1460  6    and whispered in my ear: How was I planning to greet
K29 1470  3    Jessica? Where exactly would we go after the movie?
K29 1480  1    Suppose the lines in front of the movie houses were
K29 1480 11    too long and we couldn't get in? Suppose I hadn't brought
K29 1490  8    along enough money? I felt for my wallet. Its thick,
K29 1500  8    substantial outline calmed me.
K29 1510  1       But when I saw that it was already ten past seven,
K29 1510 12    I began to wonder if something had gone wrong. Suppose
K29 1520  8    her father had changed his mind and had refused to
K29 1530  6    let her leave? Suppose at this very moment her father
K29 1540  3    was calling my house in an effort to cancel the plans?
K29 1550  1    I grew uneasy. All about me there was a hectic interplay
K29 1550 12    of meetings taking place, like abrupt, jerky scenes
K29 1560  7    in old silent movies, joyous greetings and beginnings,
K29 1570  4    huggings and kissings, enthusiastic forays into the
K29 1580  3    festive night. Whole platoons were taking up new positions
K29 1580 12    on the steps, arriving and departing, while I stayed
K29 1590  9    glued, like a signpost, to one spot.
K29 1600  4       At 7:25 two hotel doormen came thumping down the
K29 1610  3    steps, carrying a saw-horse to be set up as a barricade
K29 1610 15    in front of the haberdashery store window next to the
K29 1620  9    entranceway, and as I watched them in their gaudy red
K29 1630  7    coats that nearly scraped the ground, their golden,
K29 1640  3    fringed epaulets and spic, red-visored caps, I suddenly
K29 1650  1    saw just over their shoulders Jessica gracefully making
K29 1650  9    her way through the crowd. My heart almost stopped
K29 1660  7    beating.