**[txt. k01**]
0010K01 ^*Kunchunni had not studied history, only language. ^Tried to_ discover
0020K01 who had baptized Malayalam. ^Calculated the horoscope of the land of Parasurama
0030K01 in ant-eaten palm leaves. ^Got a degree in the *4Vedas of
0040K01 the white men-- the gods of *4kalikala. ^Repeated the *4mantras till they
0050K01 attained perfection. ^*Ezhuthachan, Kannassan, Shaw, Keats, Shakespeare,
0060K01 Valmiki, Vyasa, Kalidasa. ^They slept in his mind. ^Woke when
0070K01 needed. ^Protected him; walked before and after. $^Should have learnt
0080K01 history. ^Should learn about every foreigner who defiled the chastity of
0090K01 the Arabian Sea. ^Vengeance. ^At least in the next life. $^*Kunchunni
0100K01 Namboodiri, \0M.A., \0L.L.B., of Pullasseri Mana, sat alone on
0110K01 the
0120K01 seashore on the day of *4Uthratam and drank illicit *4arrack. ^Drowsed.
0130K01 ^No one is going to_ take that_ down. ^History will not remember it.
0140K01 ^But the ominiscient Father will see that_ also. ^It will be entered
0150K01 in Chitragupta*'s daily accounts. ^And some day, in some other birth,
0160K01 it will attain its fruition. $^The people of the shore are famous not only
0170K01 for smuggling, but for illicit liquor, too. $^The shrill voices of the
0180K01 fisherwomen, flirting behind the big boats which rested halfway between
0190K01 the sea and the shore, disturbed his penance. $^An Onam without him
0200K01 for the first time in twenty-eight years. ^Tomorrow. ^The bananas will
0201K01 be tasteless; the chips will be burnt. ^The curry will
0210K01 taste of smoke. ^His father and mother will look for him. ^His wife will
0220K01 worry. ^Worry is a part of Ittichiri. ^She will be standing, leaning
0230K01 against the worm-eaten pillars of the inner quadrangle, bent and broken.
0240K01 ^Her eyes which are bigger than her face will be gazing out through the
0250K01 front room. ^She will stand without a word while his father tries to_
0260K01 console her. ^She will go inside straight upstairs. ^Take that_ heavy
0270K01 *4veena on to her lap, meditate for a moment, sing a song or two in a
0280K01 very soft voice. ^Wipe away her tears and busy herself in the kitchen.
0290K01 $^In another two days the whole place will know that he has run away.
0300K01 $^Before that_ his father will get two lines scribbled on a postcard. "^Got
0310K01 a job in Persia. ^The rest after I reach there." $^Tomorrow, Tiruvonam.
0320K01 ^At dusk, when all the bad planets unite, when all ill omens wait
0330K01 to_ welcome him, at the worst possible moment, he will start from
0331K01 this shore,
0340K01 in a small smuggling boat. ^Let Valiedath Namboodiri have peace.
0350K01 ^He is one of the richest people in the place, the head of the Valiedath
0360K01 family! ^A real aristocrat. ^The people of Pullasseri are his dependants.
0370K01 $^*Kunchunni*'s father was a priest. ^*Kunchunni had also done
0380K01 *4pujas. ^Had carried the little daughter of the Valiedath family; kicked
0390K01 her, too. $^The cloudless sky scintillated in the sea. ^That_ unearthly
0400K01 sight stormed Kunchunni*'s agitated brain. $^*Unyema, the beloved
0410K01 child, born after innumerable prayers and penances. ^*Valia Namboodiri*'s
0420K01 life. ^The only heir to all that_ wealth. $^*Kunchunni had made palm-leaf
0430K01 serpents and birds for Unyema, the darling child of Valiedath
0440K01 Mana, the aristocrats. ^Given flowers and sandal-paste to her mother
0450K01 with special care. ^Stood humbly before her. ^Covered the idol with sandal-paste
0460K01 for her birthday. ^Cooked with great care on the days of important
0470K01 *4pujas. ^And climbed trees and plucked flowers for the little
0480K01 girl, played with stones, and grown up. ^*Unyema saw the bullock-races
0490K01 and the ploughing contests in the temple, hanging on to Kunchunni*'s
0500K01 finger. ^The bottle is still not empty. ^Good things should not be wasted.
0510K01 $^When the rest also flowed through the mouth made pure by the recitation
0520K01 of divine words, Kunchunni attained a sudden realization. ^He
0530K01 got up, looked at the clean sea. ^With love; felt like touching it. $^A
0540K01 small diseased boy with his clothes flying in the wind came dancing
0550K01 along.
0560K01 ^*Kunchunni felt a sudden affection for him. $"^Hey, you come here." ^The
0570K01 boy did not listen. ^*Kunchunni did not like the expression on his face.
0580K01 $"^*I called you. ^Come here!" $^Pretending to_ be scared, he came.
0590K01 ^Stood in front of Kunchunni. ^Digging into his nose, he ate the dried
0600K01 snot. $"^You dirty rascal! ^Take your hand away from your nose." ^*Kunchunni
0610K01 raised his hand. ^The boy must have been sure that he would be
0620K01 hit, or he would not have removed his hand so fast. ^He must have grown
0630K01 up on a diet mainly of blows. $"^What*'1s your name?" $"^*Suku." $"^*Suku!
0640K01 ^Who named you Suku? ^Your mother? ^Or your father? ^Or, do you have
0650K01 a father?" $"^No." $"^Wrong! ^No one is born without a father. ^You
0660K01 can have more than one. ^Or he might be dead." $"^Dead." $"^Who else lives
0670K01 at home?" $"^Sister." $"^Good! ^You have a sister. ^Great! ^But is
0680K01 she also like you, a dirty creature! ^Or, what did you say your name was?"
0690K01 $"^*Suku." $"^*Suku, how old is your sister?" $"^*I don*'4t know."
0700K01 $"^Pah! ^Rascal! don*'4t know your sister*'s age. ^Run! ^You, run from
0710K01 here!" $^Watching the scared boy run away, he laughed. ^Regretted his
0720K01 laughter. $^The leeches started hissing through his nerves, ammonium sulphate
0730K01 started burning in his brain, Kunchunni had to_ know the age of
0740K01 Suku*'s sister. ^An irresistible need. $^The boy ran away. ^Too far to_
0750K01 hear him calling. ^Cannot even be seen. ^He is so small. ^Seen things
0760K01 also refuse to_ register. ^The eye-ball dances with the sea. ^The tongue
0770K01 runs on with *4Upanishads and bawdy songs. ^His sister is perhaps
0780K01 eighteen... a young, fresh, beautiful eighteen. ^A lovely, moist eighteen.
0790K01 ^Must see her... $^*Kunchunni walked. ^Careful not to_ disturb the
0800K01 shore, rapturous in the embrace of the sea. ^Suddenly he remembered.
0810K01 ^If you write "\0*4Sri Rama" near the sea, it rubs it out. ^An old feud.
0820K01 ^Centuries old and still smouldering. ^*Ravana stole Sita away. \0*4sri
0830K01 Rama built a bridge. ^Through Rameswaram to Lanka. ^Divided the
0840K01 sea into two. ^The mutilated sea-god was angry. ^That_ anger has not
0850K01 cooled yet. ^If you write "\0*4Sri Rama" huge waves come, rub it out.
0860K01 ^That_ old feud destroys the serenity of the sea-god. $^When he first
0870K01 brought Unyema to_ show her the sea, they wrote it many times. ^Then she
0880K01 was a child. ^Not yet a girl. ^A chatter-box hanging on to his fingers,
0890K01 for the bullock-race and the ploughing contest. $^*Kunchunni is a
0900K01 dependent. ^A dependent by heritage. ^The cold blood of slavery flows through
0910K01 his veins. $^The temple at Kunnathur. ^*Valiedath Namboodari in
0920K01 a decorated pandal. ^All round, his dependents. ^With them, Kunchunni
0930K01 and his father. ^And Unyema, shining like a brass lamp rubbed with ashes.
0940K01 $^*Kunchunni studied, got a degree. ^His younger brothers did not do
0950K01 *4puja. ^They too studied; could give up their slavery. ^But Kunchunni
0960K01 is immortal. ^*Aswathama. ^A lost soul screaming and wandering from forest
0970K01 to forest for thousands of years, dirty with the caked blood and
0980K01 pus from his sores. ^Born into a good family, acquired a good education.
0990K01 ^Fell step by step, until finally, he became immortal for his crime.
1000K01 ^He did not die; will not die. $^He felt that his journey through the shore
1010K01 belonged to one of his past lives. ^A seen and forgotten feeling.
1020K01 ^When he gazed into that_ infinite distance where the sea and the sky meet,
1030K01 he could see the Origin and the Destruction. $^Where would that_ boy*'s
1040K01 sister be? ^Where? ^Wherever she was, he had to_ search. ^You will
1050K01 find, so it is said. ^He started walking fast. ^Must see her at once.
1060K01 ^That_ eighteen year old sister of the eel-like boy. ^Exactly eighteen.
1070K01 ^That_ lovely, fresh girl... $^When he saw a woman approaching, Kunchunni
1080K01 asked, "^Which is Suku*'s house?" $^The crumpled forty-year old
1090K01 was startled. $"^*I*'3m asking you, which is Suku*'s house?" $^When she
1100K01 understood the question, the answer came, "Suku? ^Which Suku?" $"^Don*'4t
1110K01 you know? ^Damn fool. ^Our Suku. ^The brother of that_ lovely
1120K01 eighteen year old girl. ^Younger brother. ^That_ diseased eel, Suku, who
1130K01 eats snot." $^The woman who had understood him, if not the question,
1140K01 left him. $^*Kunchunni felt that he must have made some mistake. ^Must
1150K01 have said something wrong. ^Grammatical mistake? ^Never. ^Then? ^The sun
1160K01 on the shore is hot. ^Definite. ^Or he would not be sweating. ^When
1170K01 he understood this much, Kunchunni walked with the elation of a scientist
1180K01 who has discovered a new principle. ^A discovery made after research.
1190K01 ^The reason for sweat: heat of the sun. $^Long ago, he had intended
1191K01 to_
1200K01 do research. ^He had found a subject also. ^A really good one. ^One with
1210K01 originality. "^The role played by alcohol in poetic imagination." ^He
1220K01 had suggested it to the University Head, too. ^But by then... $^Drops
1230K01 of water scattered from the broken waves, and fell on him; purified
1240K01 him. ^Crabs which crawl sideways emerged from their lairs and hunted for
1250K01 food. ^Prayed to Mother Sea to_ send them the tiny creatures the waves
1260K01 carry. $^If only he could see that_ boy. ^Let him eat snot. ^That_
1270K01 is excusable. ^He must be hungry. ^And, can someone who drinks crushed
1280K01 leeches garnished with old batteries, scold Suku who eats only snot?
1290K01 ^Doubtful. ^No, that_ is not unforgivable. ^But a fool who does not know
1300K01 the age of his own sister! ^How can that_ be excused? ^*Kunchunni*'s
1310K01 nose perspired. ^Can enquire in the next hut, they will know. ^*Suku is
1320K01 famous on the shore. ^Or, he will be made famous. ^*Kunchunni Namboodiri,
1330K01 \0M.A., \0L.L.B., of Pullasseri Mana will make him famous. $^*Seagulls
1340K01 circled the shore. ^Searched for left-overs on the nets spread
1350K01 on the sand. ^They flew low over his head, blessed him. ^Looked at
1360K01 the pilgrim with love. $^When his nerves woke, his speed also increased.
1370K01 ^The smell of drying fish. ^He felt sick. ^Is there any *4arrack, available
1380K01 nearby? ^*Kunchunni walked quickly past the Muslim girl looking
1390K01 after the drying fish, in search of *4arrack, on this day of *4Uthratam.
1400K01 $^The sand rubbed against his feet. ^Like his hand in the lap of Raghavan*'s
1410K01 wife, Ammini. ^Kicking away the groundnut shells, journeyed
1420K01 on, gesturing while he walked. ^While learning the *4Vedas he had learnt
1430K01 these gestures to_ memorize easily and to_ control his voice. ^What
1440K01 if he recited the *4Vedas now? ^He wanted to_ chant in time. ^He gave
1450K01 in to that_ terrible longing. ^Wonderful. ^He still remembered, "*3*5Agnimeele
1460K01 purohitam...*6*0" ^And in the same tone, "*3*5Adupinu mel pulinkaree**6*0"....
1470K01 (^Curry over the fire...) $*<2*> $^A house with four quadrangles
1480K01 inside and a gate-house. ^Fields which brought in ten thousand
1490K01 *4paras of rice, one of the Big Eight. $^He was married to Ittichiri
1500K01 with fire as witness in the dark hall. *4^*Panigrahnam, *3*5Grihnami
1510K01 te soubhagatwaya hastam*6*0... ^Said with the proper intonation. ^The
1520K01 women behind the screen wept. ^Their muted sobs mingled with the *4mantra
1521K01 of the
1530K01 wedding: he knows the *4mantras even if he is a lecturer in a college
1540K01 and has a moustache. $^As if it could be otherwise. ^*Thethi*'s luck,
1550K01 all her sons in big positions. $^First night, the second floor. ^A room
1560K01 divided by wooden boards, perfumed with scattered jasmine flowers. ^The
1570K01 brass mirror and the filled measure. ^*4Ashtamangalyam. ^An atmosphere
1580K01 thick with scented smoke. ^Time stood still. ^The double-bed spread
1590K01 with a white sheet, the canopy hung with fresh flowers. ^Decorations
1600K01 as old as generations. ^Lighted on lamps with five wicks. ^And she, shivering
1610K01 in a corner. ^Must be the sweet, indescribable fear of a new bride.
1620K01 ^Anxiety. ^The shivering increased. ^She started foaming at the mouth,
1630K01 collapsed on the ground, bent like a bow. ^Crawled like a worm whose
1640K01 back had been crushed, shuddered, and fell asleep, tired out and lathered
1650K01 in sweat. $^The first night was wonderful. ^*Ittichiri, with her hysteria,
1660K01 only child of the aristocrats who possessed a house with four
1670K01 quadrangles inside and a gate-house, and received ten thousand *4paras
1680K01 of rice a year, became the wife of Pullasseri Kunchunni. $^The love-songs
1690K01 that_ had been scribbled in his mind swelled and spread in the wetness
1700K01 of tears. ^The letters disappeared, and dreams about the first night
1710K01 became nightmares. ^The grapes that_ were meant for the honeymoon rotted.
1720K01 ^Instead he kept a stock of medicines for hysteria, learnt first-aid.*#
        **[no. of words = 01998**]

        **[txt.k02**]
0010K02 "^Yes, he is a dangerous man," said Manson to himself, ironically. "^Without
0020K02 a word, he has disclosed a system I can no longer approve." $^Why
0030K02 had he been so obtuse for so many years! ^When he had first come to
0040K02 India, he had been astonished at the small prices paid to Indian merchants
0050K02 for their fine muslins and silks, and had compared those prices
0060K02 with the fabulous sums for which the same goods was sold **[sic**]
0061K02 in England.
0070K02 ^He had then dismissed the thought with a tradesman*'s answer, "Business
0080K02 is business." $^That_ did not compare with the callousness and
0090K02 incomprehension of human personalities around him that_ was shown by the
0100K02 first Resident as recorded in the old files. "^Stupid," his wife
0110K02 had called it. ^And how could the officials in Calcutta not understand
0120K02 the effect this dismissal of Vinayak Shastri would have on the thousands
0130K02 of people who admired him! ^More stupidity. ^His countrymen were
0140K02 fit only to_ rule people more ignorant than themselves! $^*Manson pushed
0150K02 back his chair. ^If he resigned his post, perhaps he could teach
0160K02 Indian languages to the fools whom the Company would be sending to
0170K02 India in the future. ^He went to the verandah and saw his son and Ramkrishna
0180K02 chatting under a tree. ^*Manson called them into his office and
0190K02 asked Ramkrishna, "What would your father do if he were not in Brahmavarta?"
0200K02 $^*Ramkrishna was taken by surprise. "^We would be with our
0210K02 own family in Pune." ^If he had been less reticent toward a person older
0220K02 than himself he would have asked the reason for the question but
0230K02 he kept silent. $^*Manson, too, was silent. ^After a space he said, "You
0240K02 might request your father to_ call in here." $^Presently Vinayak
0250K02 Shastri stood in the door. ^*Manson*'s neck grew red as he greeted his
0260K02 tutor and motioned him to a chair. ^The two men each vainly tried to_
0270K02 detect what was in the other*'s mind. $^Finally, in a soft voice Vinayak
0280K02 Shastri said, "When does the government desire me to_ leave here?
0290K02 ^*I am quite ready to_ go, I anticipated it." $"^Who told you?" asked
0300K02 Manson. $"^No one. ^From your question to my son I knew that the
0310K02 time had come. ^*I had surmised for some time it
0320K02 would happen. ^*I don*'4t mind going, but, you see, your government believes
0330K02 that I will thus be taught to_ lay my turban at their feet. ^Many
0340K02 others will do that_ very thing, but hatred will grow in them-- and
0350K02 grow. ^For Truth cannot die." $"^Hatred will not grow in you." $^*Vinayak
0360K02 Shastri shook his head. ^They sat quite still, neither looking
0370K02 at the other. ^At last, his head bowed over the Malacca walking-stick,
0380K02 Vinayak Shastri said, "We had an emperor, Asoka, who, after inheriting
0390K02 a small kingdom, also became greedy and fought king after king
0400K02 until he ruled many of our lands. ^Then he was converted from that_ way
0410K02 of life by Gautama, the Buddha, and ceased making war, sending messages
0420K02 to his neighbours that they need fear him no longer. ^This deed
0421K02 brought
0430K02 the motherland to her greatest days when prosperity covered her with
0440K02 garments of beauty from the Himalayas to Cormorin because the people
0450K02 could live in peace. ^This is the moral way of life and its inevitable
0460K02 reward, if material reward is desired by a man." $^*Manson moved uncomfortably.
0470K02 $^*Vinayak Shastri looked up at him. "^You yourself have
0480K02 been hurt by this act of your government more than I have. ^You have
0490K02 been forced by your employer to_ be a party to both a stupid act which
0500K02 insults your intelligence, and to an immoral act which will leave a
0510K02 mark on your soul unless you can do it impersonally as a spade is forced
0520K02 to kill a worm by another*'s act." $"^*I shall resign from the service
0530K02 of the Company--" $^*Vinayak Shastri interrupted him. "^That_ isolated
0540K02 act will not change the Company-- but you may plant the seed of
0550K02 its future change. "$^After Chintamani Shastri had returned from hiding
0560K02 and declared his guilt, he had sat in the court-room holding his head
0570K02 in his hands or staring straight before him. ^When the magistrate did
0580K02 not proceed against him, he wiped the sweat from his face, drew a long
0590K02 breath and, throwing his scarf round his head, left the court room quietly.
0600K02 ^Thereafter he was not seen outside of his house for many days.
0610K02 ^His servants reported that he lay all day on his bed, eyes closed,
0620K02 or staring at the ceiling. $^Before Vinayak Shastri*'s dismissal. while
0630K02 Ramkrishna was at Manson*'s Residency, a servant from Chintamani*'s
0640K02 house brought in a silver tray piled high with pomegranates and
0650K02 oranges. "^He has been sending gifts daily since the end of the trial,"
0660K02 Manson said. "^Can*'4t think what he*'1s up to. ^*I sent them back
0670K02 as they were valuable. ^Now he sends fruit-- I return that_, too. ^Contemptible
0680K02 fellow!" $^The evening of the day on which the news of Vinayak
0690K02 Shastri*'s dismissal was made known, Chintamani Shastri came out
0700K02 on the verandah of his house for the first time since the trial. ^The
0710K02 following day his wife called upon Sarja Bai, and Chintamani*'s family
0720K02 was again moving among the affairs of Brahmavarta. $^Prior to Vinayak
0730K02 Shastri*'s departure, the residents of Kanpur invited him to_
0740K02 speak to them, and a great crowd gathered. ^*Clifford Manson accompanied
0750K02 Vinayak Shastri and his sons, and the priests gave the Resident
0760K02 a seat of honour near the speaker. ^After Vinayak Shastri had been
0770K02 garlanded and had ascended the dais to_ speak, Chintamani Shastri walked
0780K02 in and sat beside Manson. $^*Vinayak Shastri thanked his hosts
0790K02 for honouring him and in a warm intimate voice began to_ speak. $"^You
0800K02 and some others give me the title of 'Shastri' meaning, one learned in
0810K02 the scriptures. ^*I am even called '*4guru', 'one who dispels darkness
0820K02 from those following him.' ^But it would be better to_ call me '*4shishya',
0830K02 pupil, or disciple. ^There may have been a time in my younger days
0840K02 when I felt some pride in the title 'shastri', but now I have for
0850K02 the third time in my life become a pupil again. $"^Can an old man learn
0860K02 new things? ^God has not yet finished teaching me, and when He has,
0870K02 my soul will give up this body and go to its eternal home, my home,
0871K02 to the River
0880K02 whence it came-- God. ^Then I can be at peace as the scriptures
0890K02 promise, with no more desires, because my soul shall have accomplished
0900K02 that_ for which it was born into a body. $"^In my childhood my
0901K02 father chose my *4Guru
0910K02 Ram Shastri. ^Then a day came when Ram Shastri laid his hands
0920K02 on me and told me to_ return to my home and take a wife. ^That_ I did,
0930K02 and one thing followed another until I became a disciple again-- of our
0940K02 Maratha saint, Dnyaneshwar. ^He was only nineteen years old when he
0950K02 left his body and found release in God, but during the twenty or more
0960K02 generations since his writings have made clear to millions of people
0970K02 the fundamental truths of our religion. ^From him I learned the meaning
0980K02 of the unity of life. ^He said of God: **[verses quoted**] $"^These
0990K02 are not meaningless words as when a quarrelsome woman opens her mouth
1000K02 and lets tumble out whatever may be there: these are the words of God.
1010K02 $"^Then, next, God sent me to Brahmavarta. ^*I understood he had
1020K02 sent me to_ be the preceptor of *4Shrimant, the Ruler; but that_ was
1030K02 not god*'s will: I misread it. ^*He sent me here because I had
1031K02 been mistaken in my
1040K02 progress. ^*I still had lessons to_ learn." $^*Vinayak Shastri looked
1050K02 down from the dais. "^Here is Chintamani Shastri, a brother-priest;
1060K02 when I found out that he shared in the wrongful accusation against me
1070K02 I was tempted to_ think that he was not part of the unity of the universe.
1080K02 ^He has not disclosed why he suddenly appeared from hiding during
1090K02 the trial and testified that I had not participated in the proposed
1100K02 revolt. ^*I understand it. ^His moral sense conquered his fear for his
1110K02 security in life. ^His moral sense demanded that he not allow
1111K02 **[sic**] an innocent
1120K02 person to_ suffer for him. ^Although he strayed for a time, lost
1130K02 his way , his soul is of God as yours or mine is. ^*Dnyaneshwar said
1140K02 of God: **[verses quoted**] $^*Vinayak Shastri looked at Clifford
1150K02 Manson. "^Here at Brahmavarta I*'3ve learned about God that_ which
1160K02 perhaps even saint Dnyaneshwar did not comprehend fully. ^It is not
1170K02 only we who were born in this our motherland, but all men everywhere,
1180K02 whether the colour of their skin is dark or light-- the one Life is in
1190K02 them all. ^How foolish we have been! ^How small we have made God! ^Before
1200K02 me sits the honourable Manson *4Sahib. ^*I formerly classed all
1210K02 White men with the ones it had, unfortunately, been my lot to_ know.
1220K02 ^But it was this white-skinned gentleman, one of our conquerors, who rescued
1230K02 me from the arms of death and disgrace which some of my own countrymen
1240K02 proposed for me! ^At the possible cost of his career, he, Manson
1250K02 *4Sahib, reached out and rescued me, and Shrimant as well." ^*Vinayak
1260K02 Shastri waited for his words to_ be comprehended. **[verses quoted**]
1270K02 $"^Need I say more? ^When it is day we do not need to_ remind one
1280K02 another of it. "$^He paused again and looked over the people." ^*I
1290K02 now go from here. ^*I do not know when my soul will be ready for its Home
1300K02 but when I shall desire no more, my soul will be at peace. ^It will
1310K02 be at home in God." $^As Vinayak Shastri joined his palms, bowed,
1320K02 and stepped from the dais, Chintamani Shastri came toward him and
1330K02 fell upon his feet. ^His face was wet with tears. ^The former Chamberlain
1340K02 raised him up. and as one hand rested on the shoulder of the unhappy
1350K02 man, Vinayak Shastri addressed him. "^Fear is one of the toughest
1360K02 snares that_ pin a man to earth-- we Indians are now caught in it.
1370K02 ^Now that we are a conquered people, fear for our own security will set
1380K02 us against one another, will drive us to_ curse one another, and lay
1390K02 traps for one another. ^Fear will divide us, and we will go lower and
1400K02 lower until we reach the bottom of the pit of the degradation of our souls--
1410K02 when we will forget our relationship with God." ^He grasped the
1420K02 priest*'s shoulder more warmly and Chintamani Shastri*'s soul for an
1430K02 instant was purified by the fire in the former Chamberlain*'s words.
1440K02 $^*Clifford Manson and Vinayak Shastri walked back to Brahmavarta,
1450K02 Manson*'s attendants going before them, and Vinayak Shastri*'s sons
1460K02 following. ^Heavy night-blooming flowers scented the air as the men
1470K02 walked in the moonlight; bats flew from tree to tree winging across
1480K02 the silver ribbon of road. $^When they had gone some miles and were approaching
1490K02 Brahmavarta, Manson spoke. "^*I had not thought much about
1500K02 God until I came to this country. ^At home one went to church not primarily
1510K02 to_ seek God but because it kept one in touch with the neighbours."
1520K02 $"^The temple and religion do not always speak of God," remarked
1530K02 Vinayak Shastri. $"^*I knew a man at home like you," continued Manson.
1540K02 "^He taught me Greek. ^*I thought he was talking nonsense when
1550K02 he spoke of God, and wished he would keep to the Greek lesson. ^But
1560K02 I got to liking poetry, our English poetry, and then there was a fellow
1570K02 who came to the college-- he read poetry which he had found in this
1580K02 country, your poetry. ^That_*'1s one reason why I came out here-- the
1590K02 poetry. ^When I learned the Bengali language I found a whole treasure-house
1600K02 of it. ^Then I went on to Sanskrit, and"-- Manson laughed
1610K02 nervously-- "like you, I found I was only at the beginning of wisdom."
1620K02 $^*Vinayak Shastri thought to himself that no one, even of his own children,
1630K02 were so untouched with guile as this man. ^By accident, rather
1640K02 than because it is his nature, he has authority over us. ^By reason of
1650K02 his pure heart he saved us.*#
        **[no. of words = 02018**]

        **[txt.k03**]
0010K03 $^*Friday arrived. $^*Manuel would be back next day; Choma should either
0020K03 pay him twenty *4rupees or leave for the plantation. ^Who knows whether
0030K03 his debt was true or false? ^The world would trust Manuel*'s words
0031K03 rather
0040K03 than his. ^The idea of selling the oxen haunted him again. ^He had
0050K03 paid them no price and whatever money they fetched would all be his profit.
0060K03 $^Once he was walking along a jungle trail when he saw two calves
0070K03 sauntering around. ^There was no human habitation nearby, and he thought
0080K03 that the calves, if left there, would fall prey to marauding panthers.
0090K03 ^So he drove them to his hut. ^No claimants came and he began to_
0100K03 bring them up gradually growing fond of them. $^Both Chaniya and Guruva
0110K03 implored him to_ sell the oxen, while Belli suggested that he pawn
0120K03 them to the landlord for twenty *4rupees. ^*Choma did not agree: money
0130K03 borrowed had to_ be repaid, whatever the source of borrowing. ^How
0140K03 would he be able to_ earn and repay so much money? $^There was only one
0150K03 way out: he would go to the plantation and work there till the debt
0160K03 was redeemed. ^He again wavered. ^No one had ever cleared a debt by working
0170K03 in a plantation. ^Once a person joined a plantation he helplessly
0180K03 went on borrowing. ^Plantation debts were like plantation malaria:
0190K03 once in their grip no release till death. $^Every year thousands of coolies
0200K03 from the district went to the plantation, drudged and slaved for
0210K03 months and returned as impecunious as when they went. ^He had himself
0220K03 been there more than once but could never reconcile himself to the kind
0230K03 of life there. ^If it were merely a question of living a bare hand
0240K03 to mouth life, one did not have to_ go to the plantation; one could as
0250K03 well live such a life in one*'s own village. ^But all these were vain thoughts.
0260K03 ^*Manuel would be before his hut tomorrow, implacable like *4Yama*'s
0270K03 messenger. ^There was not much time left to him to_ deliberate.
0280K03 $"^*Belli," he called. "^It is no use going on thinking. ^*I shall
0290K03 go to the plantation and return after four months." $^*Belli was thunderstruck;
0300K03 the idea of her aged father toiling in the plantation was unacceptable.
0310K03 ^Besides, from a practical point of view, his sojourn in the
0320K03 plantation would serve no purpose. ^He would waste all his earnings
0330K03 on toddy and leave the debt to_ grow. $^Seeing his daughter lost in thought,
0340K03 Choma added: "What is the way out? ^If I don*'4t go, we will
0350K03 have to_ send Chaniya and Guruva. ^They are still children." $^Children!
0360K03 ^Yes, they would always remain children in their father*'s eyes.
0370K03 ^*Chaniya and Guruva, on the other hand, resented being treated as fledgelings
0380K03 even after they had sprouted moustaches, and were eager to_
0390K03 go their own way. ^The prospect of working in the plantation, which daunted
0400K03 Choma, appealed to them. ^They were loth to_ lose the opportunity
0410K03 of earning a monthly cash wage of eight to ten *4rupees and be stayput
0420K03 to_ earn half a *4seer of paddy a day. $^She said: "Father, you are
0430K03 getting on in age. ^You shouldn*'4t think of leaving your family and
0440K03 home. ^What will become of Kala and Neela if you go away? ^Not only
0450K03 that_. ^Who will fulfil our obligations to the landlord?" $^*Choma*'s
0460K03 face blanched. ^*Belli had spoken the truth. ^The landlord would
0470K03 not let him go. ^He could not for the life of him think of wounding Sankappayya*'s
0480K03 feelings. ^There was no option but to_ send Chaniya and
0490K03 Guruva. ^To_ send one alone would be unwise; in case of illness one
0500K03 must have some one to_ help. ^To_ send both would not be wise either.
0510K03 ^What if the two fell into bad company and drank their earnings? $^*Belli
0520K03 began to_ reason: "Are they still children? ^They must know their
0530K0G responsibilities. ^You must put them in the way of earning. ^They have
0540K03 already attained the marriage age. ^Today or tomorrow, they must go
0550KY3 their separate way and live with their wives. ^It isn*'4t proper that they
0560K03 should be made to_ stay here much longer." $^*Choma*'s worry immediately
0570K03 shifted to another subject-- Chaniya*'s marriage. ^He was the same
0580K03 age as Sankappayya and the landlord had been married almost six years.
0590K03 ^Because he was poor should he neglect to_ perform his son*'s marriage?
0600K03 ^He decided on the spur of the moment that Chaniya should wed
0610K03 before his departure! ^But he was to_ leave tomorrow! ^Well holding
0620K03 forth the hope of marriage might be an inducement to his son to_ save
0630K03 money. $^His thoughts then strayed to Belli*'s marriage. ^She should
0640K03 have been married already. ^True. ^But the thought of her leaving him
0650K03 after the marriage was frightening. "^She is a child," he thought to himself.
0660K03 "^There is no need to_ hurry." $^He realized he had been discussing
0670K03 his own affairs for far too long, forgetting all about his work.
0680K03 ^He had not walked a hundred steps when he heard Sankappayya call out
0700K03 "O Choma". ^He had been waiting for him. $^*Sankappayya confronted
0710K03 him on the courtyard, his eyes glowering. ^Other workers, armed with
0720K03 spades and baskets, were waiting for him. ^Sensing the landlord*'s mood,
0730K03 he hurriedly and silently left for the work site. $^During the previous
0740K03 monsoon, a torrent had changed its course, and filled up a field
0750K03 with mountain soil. ^Unless the silt was cleared and the torrent reverted
0760K03 before the onset of the monsoon in another three or four days, there
0770K0G was no hope of cultivating the field. $^*Choma worked with exceeding
0780K03 enthusiasm, digging mud, filling the baskets and hoisting them on to
0790K03 the heads of the coolies. ^The coolies carrying the mud watched him in
0800K03 surprise. ^He worked like a man possessed, never pausing for breath or
0810K03 gossip or a little rest. ^Even Sankappayya, who came to_ see the progress
0820K03 of work, was pleasantly surprised. "^Old Choma*'1s being seen
0830K03 to_ brim with vigour today," he commented and left. $^The workers were
0840K03 panting when the first session of work ended in the afternoon. ^Wiping
0850K03 his sweat with his fingers, Choma went to the landlord*'s house and
0860K03 squatted on his toes on the edge of the courtyard. $^*Sankappayya, having
0870K03 just finished his lunch, was sitting in the outhouse, his face glowing
0880K03 with contentment. ^As he began to_ chew betel, he tossed a quid of
0890K03 tobacco to Choma. ^*Choma, who loved tobacco next only to his life,
0900K03 was beside himself with joy, the more so because the piece was the very
0910K03 one which the landlord had intended to_ use. ^He began to_ knead the
0920K03 piece on his palm with lime. $"^Hey, Choma." ^*Sankappayya asked, "have
0930K03 you consecrated the oxen to God?" $^As Choma smirked, Sankappayya
0940K03 continued, "^Look, my bullocks have grown old and I can*'4t rely
0950K03 on them for ploughing this season. ^Why not harness your oxen?" $^Not
0960K03 a word escaped Choma*'s lips. $"^You may either sell them to me or leave
0970K03 them in my shed as your own." $^*Choma did not know what to_ say.
0980K03 $"^Why are you mum? ^Have you taken any sacred vow not to_ put them to
0990K03 the plough?" $"^Are they for show, if not for ploughing?" $"^If so, will
1000K03 you harness them this monsoon? ^*I need not look for any other pair,
1010K03 I presume. ^*I shall pay you cash, if you desire. ^You may fix the
1020K03 price; if not we may ask a third person to_ do that_." $"^*I have no
1030K03 mind to_ sell them, nor do I deny you their use. ^*I have long cherished
1040KU3 a dream. ^*I wish you would help me achieve it." $^*Sankappayya did
1050K03 not understand what could Choma be dreaming about. ^He went in on some
1060K03 work. ^After waiting for some time, Choma went to the field and pitched
1070K03 into his work. ^The whole work was over by the evening, and the
1080K03 landlord was happy. $^As dusk fell, the landlord himself measured out
1090K03 the rice to each labourer and they all left. ^Only Choma stayed on.
1100K03 $"^How come Choma hasn*'4t yet betaken himself to Biruma*'s shop?" the
1110K03 landlord asked in an ironic vein. $"^*I won*'4t go there today." $"^But
1120K03 why are you still here? ^Why not go home and beat that_ drum? ^You
1130K03 seem determined to_ banish sleep from this village." $^The joke set
1140K03 Choma laughing. ^The landlord knew that he was hesitating to_ tell him
1150K03 something. $"^Why are you still sitting here?" $"^Nothing, nothing much
1160K03 really. ^Just wanted to_ say a few words about the oxen." $"^What is
1170K03 that_? ^Don*'4t hesitate." $^"master, you have so many tenants. ^If
1180K03 you could lease me a piece of land, even barren land, I shall revere your
1190K03 name for the rest of my life." $^*Sankappayya*'s first reaction was
1200K03 one of surprise. ^How could a *[5Holeya*] ever be a farmer? ^But he
1210K03 did not spurn the idea. ^He had a lot of barren land and he might well
1220K03 lease a part of it to Choma. ^He went in to_ consult his mother. $^*Choma,
1230K03 waiting outside, was flushed at the thought that the great day
1240K03 was probably about to_ dawn in his life. ^His heart thumped. $^In a few
1250K03 moments, the landlord came out. "^Our ancestors," he said "never leased
1260K03 a field to any untouchable and it is not possible for me to_ do so."
1270K03 $^That_ settled the matter. ^*Choma heard the landlord*'s mother curse
1280K03 from inside the house: *[5Abba,*] the insolence of these *[5holeyas*]!"
1290K03 $^Dejected, Choma was about to_ leave for his hut, when Manuel
1300KW3 arrived there like an evil portent. $"^*Swami," Manuel said even as he
1310K03 stepped into the courtyard, "this servant of yours owes us some twenty
1320K03 rupees, I don*'4t know when, in which aeon, he would pay that_."
1330K03 $"^*Choma," Sankappayya said in anger, "didn*'4t you tell me you had
1340K03 no debts?" $^*Manuel would stay for his dinner. ^A crest fallen Choma
1350K03 dragged himself along, not to his hut but to Biruma*'s shop. $^The toddy
1360K03 shop was about a mile off. $^*Choma moved on mechanically, oblivious
1370K03 of the outside world. ^His mind was in a turmoil, thoughts storming
1380K03 into it. ^Many a time an officer had called at his hut and offered to_
1390K03 secure for him a piece of government land just outside the village.
1400K03 ^If he had accepted the offer, he could have by now dug and hoed the
1410K03 land into a field, a token of his self-respect. $^He did not accept the
1420K03 offer and perhaps not wrongly. ^What would he have gained by having a
1430K03 small field or a separate bungalow as it were? ^To_ have that_ land, he
1440K03 would have had to_ tear himself asunder from Sankappayya and this
1450K03 would have meant his forfeiting even the assured daily wage he now received
1460K03 from the landlord. $^When he reached the shop, Biruma was about
1470K03 to_ close it and leave for home, but he tarried on seeing him. ^*Choma
1480K03 sat down in front of the shop, stretched out his legs and poured out
1490K03 the rice which he had tied into a bundle in his cloth. ^There was one
1500K03 *4seer, two days*' wages. $^*Biruma measured the rice and took it inside,
1510K03 saying, "Half a *4pav short of one *4seer." ^From Sankappayya*'s
1520K03 measure to Biruma*'s half a *4pav of rice had just vanished somewhere.
1530K03 ^Soon Biruma came out and placed a bottle of diluted toddy before Choma,
1540K03 who downed it in just one gulp. $"^Anything to_ bite?" ^*Choma asked.
1550K03 "^Is this all for three and a half *4pavs of rice?" $"^*I haven*'4t
1560K03 mixed water," was Biruma*'s reply. ^He knew it was no good arguing with
1570KZ3 Choma. ^He went in again, washed the inside of the empty, toddy drum
1580K03 filled a bottle with the water and gave it to Choma. $^"a little
1590K03 more," Choma demanded. ^But Biruma shut the door and walked away. $^*Choma
1600K03 flew into a rage. ^He jumped to his feet shrieking "kay hey!" and
1610K03 began to_ prance about, mumbling a song. ^How long he danced he did not
1620K03 know. ^It was past midnight when he woke up, doused by a sudden downpour.
1630K03 $^Cursing the uninvited rain, he started for home.
1631K03 ^A drizzle was still falling, accompanied by thunder and lightning.*#
        **[no. of words = 02007**]

        **[txt. k04**]
0010K04 **<*3Orthodox family*0**> $*3^*Nathuram*0 Godse was born into an orthodox
0020K04 *4Brahmin family which came from a small village called Uksan,
0030K04 which is ten miles from the wayside railway station of Kamshet, on
0040K04 the Bombay Poona line. ^*Nathuram*'s father, Vinayak Godse, was a
0050K04 minor official in the Postal Department. ^In 1892, when he was seventeen,
0060K04 he was married to a girl who was barely ten years old. ^*Vinayak*'s
0070K04 first child was a boy, and the second a girl. ^This first son died
0080K04 before he was two years old. ^After that_ there were two more sons, both
0090K04 of whom died in their infancy. $^At the turn of the century, to families
0100K04 such as Vinayak Godse*'s, the fact that three sons had died one
0110K04 after the other while a daughter had survived held a clear warning: their
0120K04 male children bore a curse. ^One remedy, which had often proved effective,
0130K04 lay in offering to_ bring up the next boy as though he were a
0140K04 girl. ^That_ might appease the Fates. $^So Vinayak and his wife offered
0150K04 prayers. ^The next child, if it were a boy, would be brought up as
0160K04 though he were a girl. ^His left nostril would be pierced to_ take a
0170K04 *4nath or nose-ring. $^The next child was a boy, born on 10 May 1910.
0180K04 ^Even though he was named Ramchandra, which name is customarily shortened
0190K04 to Ram, because his nose was pierced to_ take a *4nath the pretence
0200K04 that he was a girl was taken a step further by his parents, who began
0210K04 to_ call him Nathuram, or 'Ram who wears a nose-ring'. ^The name
0220K04 stuck. $^As far as placating the evil spirits was concerned, the artifice
0230K04 was wholly successful. ^*Nathuram lived through infancy and grew up
0240K04 to_ be a strong child, and so did three other brothers, who followed
0250K04 him, among whom only Gopal, who was born in 1920, figured in the assassination
0260K04 of Gandhi. ^Psychologists may find some explanation for
0270K04 his warped mental processes in the fact that Nathuram was brought up
0280K04 as a girl. $^The family was large-- four sons and two daughters-- and poor.
0290K04 ^The father was constantly transferred to_ be Postmaster in small,
0300K04 out-of-the-way townships all over the Bombay Presidency. ^After Nathuram
0310K04 had finished primary schooling in his mother tongue, Marathi,
0320K04 he was sent to Poona to_ study for the matriculation examination. $^As
0330K04 a child, his parents and brothers believed that he possessed oracular
0340K04 powers. ^He would sit before the family goddess, staring fixedly at
0350K04 a spot of soot smeared in the exact centre of a copper tray, and soon
0360K04 fall into a trance. ^While in trance, he would see some figures or writing
0370K04 in the black spot before him, much as a crystal-gazer is supposed
0380K04 to_ see in his glass ball. ^Then one or other member of the family would
0390K04 ask him questions. ^His answers were believed to_ be those of the
0400K04 goddess, who spoke through his mouth. $^His brother Gopal, who saw several
0410K04 of these performances, writes: '^He would recite parts of scriptures
0420K04 or Sanskrit hymns which he never remembered to_ have memorized...
0430K04 and nor, when the trance was over could he repeat them, or indeed remember
0440K04 what he had recited.' $*<*3Other interests*0*> $*3^It was*0
0450K04 not till he was nearly sixteen that nathuram gave up the practice of serving
0460K04 as a medium between the family deity and the family. ^He had become
0470K04 more worldly and less devout, his brother Gopal laments, and his powers
0480K04 of concentration must have been diminished. **[sic**] $^There
0481K04 were other interests.
0490K04 ^Despite this early upbringing as a girl, he had grown into
0491K04 a
0500K04 strapping youth who was fond of physical exercise and who took speciaal
0510K04 pride in his prowess as a swimmer. ^His instincts were almost abnormally
0520K04 wholesome. ^He revelled in being the neighbourhood do-gooder, devoting
0530K04 himself to such chores as might have been taken on by an eager boy
0531K04 scout.
0540K04 ^He was always being called upon to_ fish out lost vessels from village
0550K04 wells, rescue cats, run errands for the sick, serve at temple functions
0560K04 and in the marriage festivities of the poorer neighbours. ^While
0570K04 the family lived in Lonavla, he rescued an untouchable child that_ had
0580K04 fallen into a well. ^When later in the day he told his parents about
0590K04 it, he was scolded for having come into the house without first taking
0600K04 a purifying bath-- he had been polluted by the touch of the child!
0610K04 $^At the time, such sentiments in a *4Brahmin family were quite normal,
0620K04 but Nathuram himself was not bothered by them. ^Later, much to the
0630K04 distress of his parents, he was to_ come out as a fierce protagonist for
0640K04 the removal of untouchability. $^He read voraciously, but only in subjects
0650K04 which interested him, such as mythology, scriptures and history,
0660K04 and only in the Marathi language. ^He neglected his normal schoolwork
0670K04 and found the English language difficult to_ learn. ^The consequence
0680K04 was that he failed to_ pass the \0matric. $^The matriculation examination
0690K04 was, in those days, an essential qualification for the lowest grades
0700K04 of clerical jobs in government offices, and Nathuram*'s father, who
0710K04 was now close to retirement himself, was anxious to_ get his son employed
0720K04 in his own department. ^He implored Nathuram to_ sit for the examination
0730K04 again, but Nathuram, who by this time had already come under
0740K04 the influence of Gandhi*'s movement for non-co-operation with the British
0750K04 Raj, shrank at the thought of taking a government job. ^He was
0760K04 fed up with schoolwork anyway and wanted to_ start earning his own living.
0770K04 ^He left Poona and came to_ live with his father, who was then
0780K04 in Karjat. ^There, for a year or two, he tried his hand at learning
0790K04 to_ be a carpenter, but just as he was getting to_ be proficient, his
0800K04 father was transferred, and the family had to_ move again. $^The year was
0810K04 1929, and Nathuram was nineteen years old. ^This time they were going
0820K04 to Ratnagiri, a sleepy town on the west coast, so obscure that it
0830K04 was not even listed in Murray*'s exhaustive *3Guide to India.*0 ^*Ratnagiri*'s
0840K04 principal claim to a place in history was that the British
0850K04 had exiled the last ruler of Burma, King Thibaw, there. ^*Thibaw
0860K04 had died thirteen years earlier, and Ratnagiri had lapsed into what it
0870K04 had always been-- a backward place where minor government officials
0880K04 were sent to_ mark time for their pensions. $^*Nathuram had rejoiced.
0890K04 ^He had heard that Ratnagiri now housed another political prisoner, an
0900K04 Indian brought back from the penal station in the Andamans to_ serve
0910K04 out the remaining years of his sentence of fifty years*' imprisonment.
0920K04 ^Here the British had given him a bungalow and the freedom to_ move
0930K04 about within the confines of the district; he was required to_ abstain
0940K04 from all political activities, but was permitted visitors. $*3^He was*0
0950K04 Vinayak Damodar Savarkar, the man who had burst suddenly on to
0960K04 the Indian political scene and had been despatched by the British to
0970K04 the penal colony in the Andamans; scholar, historian, poet, religious
0980K04 reformer, a trained barrister, but, above all, a firebrand patriot who
0990K04 had galvanized the youth of his generation by his open advocacy of
1000K04 an armed uprising against the British. $^Within three days of his arrival
1010K04 in Ratnagiri, Nathuram went to_ see Savarkar. $^Once he had come
1020K04 under Savarkar*'s influence, Nathuram was never the same man again.
1030K04 ^The high school dropout who would have been willing to_ live out his
1040K04 days as a village carpenter was transformed into a fiery champion of
1050K04 all the causes that_ Savarkar stood for, political, social, religious;
1060K04 freedom from British rule, the inviolability of the motherland, the
1070K04 purification of the Marathi language, the abolition of the caste system,
1080K04 the emancipation of the depressed classes and, a hitherto unheard-of
1090K04 thing, the reconversion of Hindus who had been enticed into Islam
1100K04 or Christianity. $^*Nathuram venerated Savarkar as a *4guru, as
1110K04 someone who bore a touch of divinity. ^And it was his blind devotion to
1120K04 the potent preachings of the master, and his shattering disillusionment
1130K04 at the way everything in Savarkar*'s scenario had gone wrong, that_
1140K04 ultimately led Nathuram to the insane expedient of murder and self-immolation.
1150K04 $^But conversely, it is also true that, while his meeting
1160K04 with Nathuram Godse could not have made much difference to Savarkar*'s
1170K04 life at the time, nineteen years later, Nathuram*'s continuing attachment
1180K04 to him was to_ provide the excuse to the police (and possibly
1190K04 to his political enemies) for dragging him into the Gandhi murder case.
1200K04 ^The strain of the trial, and the year spent in prison while it lasted,
1210K04 wrecked Savarkar*'s health and finished him as a force in India*'s
1220K04 politics. $^*Vinayak Damodar Savarkar was born in 1883 in a small
1230K04 village near the town of Nasik; in 1910, he was shut up for life in
1240K04 the penal colony in the Andamans. ^It is difficult to_ think of anyone
1250K04 else who has crammed so much activity into the twentyseven years that_
1260K04 he had lived as a free man, or of anyone who had lived them more
1270K04 dangerously. $^He was only twelve when he organized a gang of his schoolmates
1280K04 to_ fight off the village bullies. ^At sixteen, while he was kept
1290K04 in Nasik for his higher schooling, he formed a revolutionary society
1300K04 to_ overthrow the British Raj. ^He barely made the grades at school
1310K04 but knew far more than his teacher about Indian history and the Sanskrit
1320K04 classics, and gave regular talks on these subjects at local functions.
1330K04 ^In 1901, when after passing his matriculation examination he
1340K04 left Nasik to_ join a college in Poona, the leading men of the town
1350K04 joined together to_ give him a hearty send-off. $^As a college student
1360K04 in Poona, he became 'a notable figure in political gatherings', and
1370K04 thus inevitably came under police surveillance. ^In his final year, he
1380K04 flung himself with gusto into the *4Swadeshi movement which, among
1390K04 other things, required the burning of British-made articles of clothing
1400K04 in public bonfires. ^For these activities he was rusticated from his
1410K04 college and thus became the first Indian student to_ be sent down from
1420K04 a college for political reasons. $^When, however, the time for the
1430K04 \0BA examination came, the authorities relented and let him sit for
1440K04 it. ^He managed to_ pass and immediately set out to_ try to_ bring his
1450K04 various organizations together and to_ win converts to his movement for
1460K04 an armed revolt against the Raj. ^He went from village to village,
1470K04 giving rousing talks, composed and sang patriotic ballads, and published
1480K04 a stack of pamphlets propounding his views on the problems facing the
1490K04 Indian people. ^These publications were summarily proscribed and their
1500K04 possession made an offence. $^Thus, at the age of twenty-two, Savarkar
1510K04 had made himself one of the most intrepid opponents of British rule
1520K04 in India. ^At this stage, realizing that he did not possess a broad
1530K04 enough base of knowledge for the role he had taken on, and anxious to_
1540K04 equip himself more adequately for it by a few more years of study and
1550K04 travel, he decided to leave India and go to England to_ qualify as
1560K04 a barrister. $^The Indian Government, which was on the point of arresting
1570K04 him on a charge of sedition, must have breathed a sigh of relief
1580K04 at this turn of events. ^*Savarkar could now be written off as a troublemaker.
1590K04 ^It was almost certain that England would transform him
1600K04 into a '\0wog', a Westernized Oriental Gentleman. $*<*3Brown *4sahibs*0*>
1610K04 $*3^That_*0 was the general pattern of the times. ^*Indian boys
1620K04 went to_ study at the great colleges of England, goggled at the wonders
1630K04 of the western world and were tamed by the civilizing influences
1640K04 of their environment. ^They invariably returned as brown *4sahibs. ^Many
1650K04 fell in love with English girls, and some brought back white wives.
1660K04 $^*Savarkar conformed to the pattern only by falling in love with an
1670K04 English girl, whose name was Margaret Lawrence. ^Otherwise he remained
1680K04 defiantly Indian. ^He joined Gray*'s Inn and four years later qualified
1690K04 to_ practise at the Bar. ^Throughout his time in England, he
1700K04 pressed on with his political activities at the same relentless tempo.
1710K04 ^He started what was called the Free India Society, whose weekly meetings
1720K04 were conducted quite openly.*#
        **[no. of words = 02014**]

        **[txt. k05**]
0010K05 $^*Gertrude Das was even older than Michelle. ^Married when she was just
0020K05 past thirty, she was the one who had adapted herself least to conditions
0030K05 in India. ^In all her years in the country she had never once
0040K05 worn a *4sari-- all the others, including Michelle, were unable to_ resist
0050K05 the gorgeous silks, chiffons and brocades presented by their in-laws.
0060K05 ^Many of them wore *4saris (with varying degrees of success) on special
0070K05 occasions. ^But Gertrude never. ^Now in her mid-sixties, her lean
0080K05 speckled arms, her lined skin and faded blonde hair, had all been affected
0090K05 by the harshness of the Indian sun. ^She dressed in impeccably cut
0100K05 tweed skirts or slacks, with silk shirts or twin-sets in the winter and
0110K05 scarves elegantly tied around her withered neck to_ hide the sagging
0120K05 skin. ^She never wore sandals as the others did, but always shoes and
0130K05 stockings. ^She walked very straight and upright and often little boys
0140K05 who had never seen such an apparition would run after and shout rude
0150K05 remarks. ^She never displayed the slightest reaction to these insults.
0160K05 ^Her hatred of India and all things Indian, including her husband George,
0170K05 was too deep for surface reactions. ^She would have run away long
0180K05 ago if there had been anywhere to_ run. ^There was nowhere to_ go. ^She
0190K05 must stay here in this savage and unfriendly country, till the day she
0200K05 died. ^She was a prisoner, dependent on memories, as all prisoners
0210K05 are. ^She was on terms of mutual tolerance, but hardly friendship with
0220K05 the others. ^Her whole life was based on an elaborate charade, the pretence
0230K05 that she alone existed, an explorer in a savage country. ^Her habit
0240K05 of wearing white gloves when she walked down the street, struck even
0250K05 her own people as eccentric. ^She played a game with herself. ^From
0260K05 behind her dark, tinted glasses she would stare at the children, the
0270K05 dark crowds, the people so alien still after thirty years, and imagine
0280K05 she had with her a secret weapon that_ could annihilate anyone at
0290K05 whom it was pointed. ^This weapon went with her everywhere. ^The urchins
0300K05 who danced around her yelling rudely-- bang-- they disappeared in a
0310K05 puff of smoke. ^Those young men who stared and sniggered-- the fat woman
0320K05 in the *4sari who gaped after her as she went her prim way-- one after
0330K05 the other they disappeared-- bang, bang, bang, bang. ^She smiled, her pale
0340K05 blue eyes slightly mad. $^The others were in awe of her-- they never
0350K05 referred to her as anything but \0Mrs. Das, only Michelle called
0360K05 her Gertrude. ^Sometimes they wondered if she drank in private, but they
0370K05 were too intimidated by her manner to_ refer to this in any way at
0380K05 all. ^Her connection with this group too was on her own terms. ^They
0390K05 all met in order to_ air their latest grievances, but \0Mrs. Das never
0400K05 made any complaints. ^She listened, she smiled, she said nothing. ^They
0410K05 would much rather she didn*'4t come, but no one knew how to_ stop
0420K05 her. $^*Michelle wheeled in a trolley laden with sandwiches, a luscious
0430K05 chocolate torte, cheese and bacon pastries and her own special walnut
0440K05 fudge. ^She passed around cups of steaming coffee and even those who
0450K05 were on diets, forgot and helped themselves greedily to all the goodies.
0460K05 $^Outside the verandah, the milky November morning smelt of jasmine
0470K05 and some other unidentifiable flower. ^The hills in the distance
0480K05 were fleecy with clouds. ^The yellow bougainvillaea in the porch filtered
0490K05 the light and made it soft and opalescent. ^Although all five were
0500K05 together in the same room each of them remained isolated. ^Loneliness
0510K05 is the central and most inescapable fact of all human existence. $^It
0520K05 was Sandy who broke the silence. ^She was extroverted, outspoken and
0530K05 highly intelligent. ^Her thin, angular face contrasted strangely with
0540K05 her light brown hair, curling girlishly on her shoulders. ^She wore outrageous
0550K05 clothes, necklines that_ plunged wildly, very short skirts or
0560K05 pants so tight that her bottom was sharply defined. ^She liked to_ wear
0570K05 very high heels too so that, already tall, she towered over
0580K05 everyone
0590K05 in the room. ^She had a loud, rather harsh voice. "^Listen girls-- I*'3ve
0600K05 got news. ^*Janson*'1s back. ^He got back last evening." $^Instantly
0610K05 every face turned towards her with anticipation, pleasure, even hope.
0620K05 ^*Jason Skinner had somehow come to_ mean a great deal to each one of
0630K05 them. ^He was their safety valve-- confidante, accomplice. ^His job with
0640K05 the United Nations took him on trips all over the world every few
0650K05 months or oftener, from where he brought back for them bottles of scotch,
0660K05 vodka, cherry brandy, perfume, cosmetics, cigarettes and even clothes.
0670K05 ^They just told him what it was they wanted and like a perennial
0680K05 Santa Claus, he turned up with everything. ^He was one of those unattached
0690K05 males of indeterminate age, who shed their not inconsiderable
0700K05 charm on all women, old or young. ^He genuinely liked women and he was
0710K05 also extremely good-natured. ^He liked to_ please people and it was
0720K05 by pure accident that he found himself in the special position that_ he
0730K05 occupied today, *8vis-a-vis*9 the girls. $^It was at a party, dancing
0740K05 with Jane, that he told her how much he liked the perfume she was wearing.
0750K05 ^*Jane, either by instinct or intent, led a life so full of drama
0760K05 that she seemed always to_ exist midway between one crisis and another.
0770K05 ^If anyone had worked out her bio-rhythm it would surely have shown
0780K05 only ups and downs with no plateaux between. ^She could build up the
0790K05 most innocuous situations into a full-fledged crisis. $^She looked
0800K05 at Jason with a tragic air and said, "^Oh, I*'3m so glad you like it.
0810K05 ^It*'is my last bottle. ^*I didn*'4t know I couldn*'4t get French
0820K05 perfume here. ^It*'1s one of those things one never thinks about before
0830K05 coming out to India. ^Sometimes I could cry," and real tears instantly
0840K05 sprang up to her eyes. $^*Jason said at once-- "^But I go abroad
0850K05 frequently. ^*I could bring you any little thing you want at duty-free
0860K05 prices. ^Just say the word." $^The next time he came he brought her
0870K05 a huge bottle of Rocha*'s *3femme*0, and she flung herself into his
0880K05 arms with delight while he patted her shoulder and laughed. ^Of course
0890K05 Jane boasted about it to the others and in no time at all Jason found
0900K05 himself bringing them all little imported things-- sometimes as a gift,
0910K05 sometimes allowing them to_ pay for it. ^Their gratitude was passionate.
0920K05 ^Nowhere in the world are foreign luxury goods so sought after
0930K05 as in India. ^The Government*'s policy of banning imports of luxury
0940K05 goods, resulted in an enormous smuggling trade; but smuggled goods were
0950K05 expensive and not easily available in a small town like Dehra Dun.
0960K05 ^Thanks to Jason, all five of them had unlimited supplies of perfume,
0970K05 scotch, pantyhose, French bras and lipsticks. ^He often brought them
0980K05 in addition, cheese, biscuits and chocolates. ^With each of them, even
0990K05 with Gertrude (or perhaps especially with Gertrude) he had a very special
1000K05 relationship. $^They confided in him, complained about husbands
1010K05 and relations, and sometimes, slept with him. ^He was their very special
1020K05 friend, a foreigner like themselves, with whom they were safe, at ease.
1030K05 ^He was far from good-looking. ^Bearded and rather tubby, with twinkling
1040K05 blue eyes and a deep voice, he was younger than all of them except
1050K05 perhaps Louise. ^None of them questioned his relationship with the
1060K05 others. ^They guarded their own, and were content that it did not collide
1070K05 with that_ of the others. $^Now each one sipped the fragrant coffee
1080K05 and thought about Jason with pleasure. ^*Gertrude looked forward
1090K05 to the vodka he would bring her and the chocolate and cheese, both almost
1100K05 unavailable in India. ^She thought of Jason*'s visit to her and
1110K05 how she would tell him, as she had told no one else, of the hatred she
1120K05 felt for India and all Indians. ^He was never in a hurry-- never seemed
1130K05 to_ have anything else he wanted to_ do. ^He puffed away at his pipe
1140K05 and listened and consoled her. ^He was the son she had never had and
1150K05 if he was sleeping with the other girls, she buried the thought deep
1160K05 within her, where it would never surface. ^She simply did not want to_
1170K05 think about it at all. $^The girls began to_ chat over their second
1180K05 and third cups of coffee. ^*Sandy began to_ tell them a new story about
1190K05 her mother-in-law, known universally as *4Mataji. ^Four foot ten inches
1200K05 high and seventy-three years old, Sandy*'s mother-in-law lived with
1210K05 them, or indeed they, Sandy and Dilip her husband, lived with her,
1220K05 for it was her house-- a rambling, spacious bungalow, built on colonial
1230K05 lines. ^*Dilip Singh, Sandy*'s husband and *4Mataji*'s son, was
1240K05 the *4Raja of Dilawar*'s cousin. ^Each of the seven bedrooms had its
1250K05 own dressing-room and bath. ^When Sandy arrived she had modernised
1260K05 the whole house, putting in running hot water and long baths, lowering
1270K05 the towering height of the rooms with false ceilings and using all the
1290K05 stored family furniture and carpets-- many of them priceless Kashmiri,
1300K05 Persian and Tibetan, for the rooms. ^Her mother-in-law*'s room however
1302K05 had remained untouched except for the new plumbing in the bathroom.
1310K05 ^The old lady was an ardent practitioner of *4yoga and at
1311K05 seventythree
1320K05 was supple, and agile with the quick, abrupt movements of a bird. $^*Sandy
1330K05 said, "^*I went out on the back verandah and there she was, sitting
1340K05 in the lotus posture, bending backwards and forwards and twisting about
1350K05 as though she had no bones. ^When she saw me she said, "^*Sandy come
1360K05 here. ^You said you had studied ballet. ^Now let me see you do this'.
1370K05 $"^But of course ballet doesn*'4t teach you to_ tie yourself up into
1380K05 knots and it is impossible for me to_ sit cross-legged with my knees
1390K05 down on the floor. ^*I tried and my knees stuck up in the air and she
1400K05 laughed. $"^The trouble is, you eat all the wrong foods" she said. "^All
1410K05 that_ dead meat instead of fresh fruit and vegetables and milk and
1420K05 nuts. ^Look at me". ^She tucked her sari between her legs and with the
1430K05 greatest of ease stood on her head. ^When we went down later for breakfast
1440K05 I felt positively like a cannibal eating bacon and eggs while she
1450K05 munched her nuts and raisins and sipped her glass of milk with honey.
1460K05 ^You know it*'1s a funny thing. ^*I always imagined that Indian women
1470K05 were terribly possessive about their sons but *4Mataji really doesn*'4t
1480K05 care much about Dilip, although he dotes on her. ^She has such a
1490K05 detached critical attitude towards him as though he amuses her. ^And so
1500K05 much energy. ^When I rest in the afternoon she is sitting on the verandah
1510K05 dishing out homoeopathic remedies to all the neighbouring servants,
1520K05 and when I left this morning she was busy in the garden, inspecting
1530K05 her bees. ^It is the first time I am beginning to_ get a slight
1531K05 inferiority
1540K05 complex." $^They all laughed, except Gertrude. ^They knew the
1550K05 old lady and liked, even admired her. ^She took such an interest in them,
1560K05 was always ready with a remedy for whatever ailed them and she petted
1570K05 and spoiled their children. ^As they all knew, Sandy was, in fact,
1580K05 extremely fond of her. $^*Jane groaned. "^You just don*'4t know how
1590K05 lucky you are, Sandy. ^My mother-in-law detests me and has a positive
1600K05 passion for Sunil and is so fat and frowsty that I get aileurophobia
1610K05 or whatever phobia it is when mothers-in-law enter rooms. ^She uses
1620K05 a bottle of mustard oil every day on herself and if I don*'4t watch out
1630K05 very sharply, she plasters the stuff all over the boys. ^She sits in
1640K05 the kitchen frying up things for Sunil to_ stuff himself on when he
1650K05 gets home in the evening, and he has put on weight-- thanks to her. ^She
1660K05 picks up a *4pakora or a sweet and puts it into his mouth with her
1670K05 fingers. ^It is positively incestuous.
1671K05 ^They should do a psycho-analytical study of indian mothers.*#
        **[no. of words = 02009**]

        **[txt. k06**]
0010K06 $\0^*Mr and \0Mrs Raghunath Sahai felt extremely elated when Manmohan
0020K06 Babu accepted their invitation to_ attend the birthday party of their
0030K06 eleven-year-old daughter, Durga. ^In fact, her birthday had already
0040K06 been celebrated privately six weeks ago but they decided to_ celebrate
0050K06 it once again publicly. ^How else could the Minister*'s visit be justified?
0060K06 $^The bungalow was colour-washed again though it had already
0070K06 been white-washed eight months ago. ^Never mind. ^When the Minister visits
0080K06 the house of a Joint Secretary, it is an event. ^For the sake
0090K06 of efficiency the job had to_ be done departmentally. ^The approach road
0091K06 was
0100K06 laid out in red *4murrum panelled with white cut-brick. ^Buntings and
0110K06 festoons in multicoloured papers, green-leaves and flowers decorated the
0120K06 house as also the beautiful lawn where tables were laid for the party.
0130K06 ^Electric bulbs of different colours-- blue, green, yellow, violet
0131K06 and
0140K06 red-- hung all around like huge lemon drops falling from heaven. $\0^*Mrs
0150K06 Taramati Sahai was, of course, at her ravishing best. ^Encouraged
0160K06 by her first encounter with the Minister and convinced that he was
0170K06 susceptible, she was now more bold and aggressive. ^She wore a sea green
0180K06 nylon *4sari and a thin blouse which barely covered her brassiers, and
0190K06 paraded her breasts provocatively. ^The too-transparent
0200K06 apparel revealed rather than covered her voluptuous thighs
0210K06 and buttocks and the *4pallu of her *4sari would often slip, revealing
0220K06 her neck and half-naked breasts. \0^*Mrs Sahai today seemed to_ be
0230K06 more sure of herself. ^Yes, definitely more so. $^*Durga was her only
0240K06 daughter which explains why her mother, unlike other women who waste
0250K06 themselves out in too much child-bearing, had preserved her beauty. ^She
0260K06 was in her late thirties-- dangerous years! ^But by her punctilious
0270K06 make-up and beauty culture, she looked ten years younger. ^Unquestionably,
0280K06 her charm was her greatest asset, and in turn she was the greatest
0290K06 asset for her husband. ^Her friend from Delhi, the wife of a Deputy
0300K06 Secretary in the External Affairs Ministry had once remarked that
0310K06 she would make an excellent wife for a diplomat. ^Pity her husband couldn*'4t
0320K06 be a diplomat. ^He was rotting in the \0PWD of a distant
0330K06 State, wasting his fragrance in desert air. $^*Taramati however, was
0340K06 a practical woman. ^She realized that from \0PWD to the External Affairs
0350K06 Ministry would be a hopeless dream. ^Why cry for the moon? ^And
0360K06 therefore she had set a limited goal before her-- that her husband should
0370K06 be promoted as a Secretary, a key post in the government, controlling
0380K06 huge funds, which had swollen to enormous proportions on account
0390K06 of the Five Year Plans. $^*Taramati had chosen her guests well. ^She
0400K06 hurriedly looked at the list-- a dozen road and building contractors
0410K06 with their wives, the Chief Engineer of the \0PWD and, of course,
0420K06 the Secretary, Lala Kirpa Ram, an elderly person in his typical Punjabi
0430K06 turban and loose pyjamas and his old-fashioned wife who felt uncomfortable
0440K06 in the midst of these well-groomed, pretty ladies. ^Let them
0450K06 see how close and intimate were her relations with the Minister. ^It
0460K06 was ultimately the Secretary*'s chair which she expected her husband
0470K06 to_ occupy. ^There were a few other officers also, including a Deputy Secretary
0480K06 of the General Administration Department. ^He was important
0490K06 because he handled inter-departmental service files before they went
0500K06 to the Chief Secretary and the Chief Minister. $^*Hatim Bhai,
0510K06 the top contractor, was of course there-- a short, lean man with an ochre-coloured
0520K06 beard, who wore his black skull-cap to_ match his coat of black
0530K06 alpaca. ^His dark teeth betrayed the habit of constant chewing of
0540K06 betel and tobacco. ^He dressed simply, careful not to_ show off his riches,
0550K06 thought Taramati. ^He could pass for an owner of a cycle repairing
0560K06 shop. ^But those who knew him well were not deceived. ^The enormous
0570K06 influence he wielded with government, both alien and Indian, was obvious
0580K06 from the major contracts his firm had bagged-- the massive High
0590K06 Court building with its spectacular dome reminiscent of Moghul architecture,
0600K06 the huge Medical College and Hospital, one of the biggest
0610K06 in Asia, the twenty-four span road bridge across the turbulent Ramganga,
0620K06 and the two-mile rail-road tunnel through the rugged mountain ranges.
0630K06 ^A shrewd businessman, he was quick to_ recognize the nexus of power
0640K06 and got on its right side earlier than anyone else. ^He was particularly
0650K06 friendly with Girdhari, the nephew of the Chief Minister, whom
0660K06 he called "*4bhai". ^In fact, Girdhari wouldn*'4t trust his new double-storied
0670K06 house to anyone except Hatim Bhai, and it was a tribute
0680K06 to the genius of the contractor that he got it so cheap. ^Of course,
0690K06 Hatim Bhai had submitted a formal bill, but whenever Girdhari made
0700K06 a show of paying, he would strongly protest: $"^No *4bhai, there*'1s no
0710K06 hurry about the payment. after all you are my brother." $^*Hatim Bhai
0720K06 was a must at all government parties. ^*Raghunath Sahai and his intelligent,
0730K06 ambitious wife realized that he was almost a "king-pin" in
0740K06 all their plans and projects, personal or otherwise. $"^Our women-folk
0750K06 do not come out to such parties", he said to the Minister apologetically
0760K06 when he was introduced. "^They observe *4purdah... backward people,"
0770K06 he added with a flattering smile which revealed the gap between his
0780K06 two upper front teeth. ^But his uncouth appearance made no difference to
0790K06 his socializing and in fact the Minister was surprised to_ see that a
0800K06 group of four or five smart ladies who had surrounded him were engaged
0810K06 with him in animated conversation. $\0^*Mrs Sahai introduced the ladies
0820K06 to Manmohan Babu, one by one. ^One of them, she said, was a Social
0830K06 Welfare Officer in the women*'s branch, another a captain in the
0840K06 National Cadet Corps for girls, another a hostess at the local posh
0850K06 Princess Hotel. ^All these were attractive and vivacious young ladies,
0860K06 but the one who stuck in the memory of the Minister was \0Miss
0870K06 Sheila Patterson, an Anglo-Indian beauty who was introduced to him
0880K06 as "Durga*'s English teacher." ^The Minister kept looking at her luscious,
0890K06 smiling lips and the soft blue eyes which were so ravishing. ^Why,
0900K06 he thought, the girl could well pass for a screen star. $^*Durga,
0910K06 who was the excuse for this party and was supposed to_ be its star attraction,
0920K06 was a plain-looking girl, rather plump, and seemed more so
0930K06 in her tight-fitting frock. ^But, of course, her mother had tried to_
0940K06 compensate her lack of charm with cleverly applied make-up. ^She was born
0950K06 when the British rulers were firmly in the saddle and nobody
0951K06 imagined
0960K06 that they would quit. ^She was therefore christened "Dolly" and sent
0970K06 to a convent for an excellent grounding in the English language and
0980K06 manners, which were an asset under the alien rule. ^But with the transfer
0990K06 of power, the whole atmosphere changed. ^*Taramati changed her daughter*'s
1000K06 name to the typical, orthodox Indian name "Durga," a Hindu
1010K06 goddess of power and valour, which seemed quite suited to her tomboyish
1011K06 appearance. $^*Durga was introduced to the Minister
1020K06 by her mother in the same ceremonious manner as a courtier is presented
1030K06 to the king. $"^Hearty congratulations on your birthday," said the
1040K06 Minister, all smiles. $"^Thank you very much, sir," she said curtsying
1050K06 a little, as she had been taught in the green room. $"^What present
1060K06 would you like to_ have?" the \0VIP asked, suddenly remembering etiquette.
1070K06 $"^Nothing, sir. ^*I just want your blessings." $"^Very smart
1080K06 girl," said Manmohan Babu, turning to her mother. ^Very well brought-up.
1090K06 ^He noticed that she spoke English with a perfect accent, better
1100K06 than his own. $"^Studying in a convent?" $"^Yes, sir. ^Wonderful you
1110K06 guessed so right, sir," said Taramati with her scintillating smile.
1111K06 "^Isn*'4t
1120K06 it remarkable, dear, that the Minister Sahib could recognize where
1130K06 Dolly gets her education. ^What an intelligent guess..." she said
1140K06 to her husband, though the remark was made for the dignitary. $^Everybody
1150K06 around nodded in admiration. $^Of course, the party went off splendidly,
1160K06 and everyone flattered the Minister and made much of him, as
1170K06 if it were his birthday. ^Poor Durga with her two school companions was
1180K06 eating her birthday cake in an obscure corner, forgotten by guests
1190K06 and parents alike. $^*Manmohan Babu felt on top of the world, enormously
1200K06 pleased with his own importance. ^Yes, it was terribly exciting to_
1210K06 be a Minister in Government, and he was enjoying it thoroughly. $^When
1220K06 the guests had departed, \0Miss sheila Patterson lingered a little
1230K06 and was seen in a secretive, intimate conversation with \0Mrs Sahai.
1240K06 ^She spoke more with suggestive gestures and smiles than with words.
1250K06 ^Their warm handshake with a meaningful smile indicated that they had
1260K06 reached a perfect understanding. $^The quiet and even tenor of Dhananjay*'s
1270K06 life went through a radical change as a result of the merger.
1280K06 ^He floated a new company and issued shares for sale. ^He had to_ tour extensively
1290K06 in the State, collecting capital. ^The influence of Chief
1300K06 Minister Joshi was, of course, completely behind him, but the actual
1310K06 contacting, canvassing and collection of money had to_ be done by him.
1320K06 ^He travelled widely-- by bullock carts to_ reach distant villages,
1330K06 by bus, rail-road and sometimes by air also. ^His tact and energy were
1340K06 as much responsible for the success of his mission as the Chief Minister*'s
1350K06 influence. ^The ruling princes, whose small principalities were
1360K06 merged into the State contributed to the share capital willingly
1370K06 in the hope that this would induce the Chief Minister to_ be generous
1380K06 in the settlement of their personal financial claims and privy purses.
1390K06 ^The Chief Minister enjoyed the full backing of the Central Government
1400K06 and had enormous discretion. ^His frown or smile could make a
1410K06 difference of hundreds of thousands of *4rupees. ^They knew that he was
1420K06 directly interested in the *3Yug Samachar*0 Company. ^The *4Raja of
1430K06 Nanpur, the *4Nawab of Hakimganj, the *4Rani of Ramnagar, all came
1440K06 in one by one. ^But the largest single block of stocks was purchased
1450K06 by the *4Maharaja of Jagpura, the biggest State in the area, who had
1460K06 the largest amount of stakes in the merger. ^He had three legal wives--
1470K06 and some others not quite so legal-- and he had to_ support a large
1480K06 progeny and a big retinue. ^He purchased shares worth \0Rs 100,000 and
1490K06 advanced another loan of \0Rs 50,000 on a promissory note. $"^How shall
1500K06 the Company repay the loan?" ^*Dhananjay asked Pandit Joshi. "^It
1510K06 will take some years before the Company starts making profit." $"^Don*'4t
1520K06 worry, we will get it converted into shares at a suitable
1521K06 opportunity.
1530K06 ^The *4Maharaja wants to_ feel that he is parting with one *4lakh
1540K06 only, and the rest would come back to him. ^But it won*'4t. ^He has
1550K06 lots of things pending with government." $^The *4Maharaja wasn*'4t as
1560K06 simple as he looked. ^A seasoned old man of 70, a renowned big game hunter
1570K06 in excellent health, he had handled successfully many an English
1580K06 officer-- and his wife-- of the political department. ^He knew that he
1590K06 would get back the fifty thousand advanced as loan, but he wanted to_
1600K06 use it as a lever to_ get things done at government level. ^Perhaps that_
1610K06 fellow of an editor would prove handy as middleman, he thought shrewdly.
1620K06 ^He understood the Chief Minister quite well. ^But the Chief
1630K06 Minister also understood his tactics fully. ^Each thought himself to_
1640K06 be cleverer than the other. ^Under the cloak of sweet courtesies, they played
1650K06 a hard and ruthless bargaining game. $^*Dhananjay worked hard. ^After
1660K06 he sold sufficient stocks, he formed a board of directors of the Company
1670K06 with a former High Court Judge as its Chairman. ^A new two-storeyed
1680K06 building came into existence, linotypes and flat bed machines
1690K06 were installed, staff was appointed and a thousand and one odd jobs
1700K06 had to_ be handled before the whole thing got going. $^*Dhananjay worked
1710K06 almost round the clock to_ push things hard so that they could launch
1720K06 the project publicly on the next anniversary of independence. ^He
1730K06 slept barely three hours at night. ^He couldn*'4t keep to regular timings
1740K06 for his meals. ^He often got his lunch packed from home and ate it at
1750K06 the office. ^He would stand in the sun supervising the construction
1760K06 of the factory, watch the erection of machines, go to the market to_ make
1770K06 purchases, arrange for cement permits \0etc.*#
        **[no. of words = 02025**]

        **[txt. k07**]
0010K07 $*4^*Swami Yogananda*'s 'hundredth' birthday started with an inauspicious
0020K07 prelude in the early hours of the morning. ^As he lay asleep, he was
0030K07 in the act of making love. ^That_ act possessed him. ^Awakening in sweat
0040K07 and shame he sat up in bed a long while, then staggered off to the
0050K07 bathroom. ^The splash of a cold shower. ^He filled the tub and lay down,
0060K07 brooding. $^This was a recurrence after many months-- six, perhaps
0070K07 more. ^He had come to the belief that he was at last rid of the fantasy.
0080K07 ^That_ cozy belief was gone in a minute. $^Always it had been the same
0090K07 creation of fantasy: faceless, without an image, and yet recognizable.
0100K07 ^The touch of her had become all-too-familiar, filling his mind as much
0110K07 as his senses even in his twilight state of awareness... ^Later, he
0120K07 would be tempted to_ relive those moments with hate-love, while fighting
0130K07 to_ keep them away. $^That_ was the measure of his chastity! ^But
0140K07 he had no pretensions whatever. ^The process of sublimation had its own
0150K07 rules, he would point out to himself. ^His submerged mind could not
0160K07 be controlled, nature*'s compulsions could not be denied. ^He did not
0170K07 even know what to_ control. ^Had a fantasy of this kind any relevance
0180K07 in actuality? ^Not in this instance anyhow, he was certain. $^What was
0190K07 it like with others? ^If he had a living *4guru, he could have found
0200K07 out. ^But *4Swami Vivekananda was only a biography! $^He could feel
0210K07 consoled that of late the experience had become infrequent and it could
0220K07 well be that he was not far from release. $^Half an hour later, hairbrush
0230K07 in hand, he flung his question to his strained face in the mirror:
0240K07 *3^How old are you today? Eighty?... Ninety?.... Hundred?*0 ^And the
0250K07 answer oscillated between the myth and the real. $^The real? $^You could
0260K07 not flout Nature*'s laws: or alter that_ mirror image proclaiming
0270K07 your youth. ^Even so, couldn*'4t you with your hard-won self-discipline
0280K07 transcend youth? ^Couldn*'4t you, passing in one overlong stride to
0290K07 your hundredth year make the myth truer than the true? $*3^Couldn*'4t you?*0
0300K07 $^Later, a phone call answered. ^*Yogananda went back to his grass
0310K07 mat on the lanai floor. ^His first opportunity in this alien city to_
0320K07 be on his own from dawn to sunset. ^No visitors. ^No visitors. ^No
0321K07 summons to a lunch
0330K07 where he must speak words of wisdom. ^The telephone would not ring
0340K07 again, the receiver kept apart from its stand. ^He was skipping the morning
0350K07 meal provided by room service, and the noon meal also. ^A rare chance
0360K07 to_ make this his day of fast and of uninterrupted *4dhyana. ^Fast
0370K07 days, woven into the fabric of his life, were out of place here, hard
0380K07 to_ fit into the set schedules, all his time and energy tied to a
0390K07 purpose. ^And the purpose turned into a programme under Stella*'s firm
0400K07 guidance. ^*Stella had her roots deep in the Western value system;
0410K07 one or two of the roots had loosened in the undersoil, but the others
0420K07 held tight. $^Seated in *4padmasana, the lotus position, legs crossed
0430K07 with feet rested on the thighs, straight-backed and eyes closed, he passed
0440K07 into *4dhyana, a sinking into the depths of inner consciousness
0450K07 attained with the aid of controlled breath. ^In that_ state of bliss,
0460K07 you set sail as it were on a crystalline stream, gazing down at the sand
0470K07 bed while you listened to the enchanted words: *[11aham Brahma asmi!*]
0480K07 ^In that_ state, time stopped and hours went by like moments.
0481K07 $^He
0490K07 could not say what length of time had passed when a knock on the outer
0500K07 door stirred him out of his trance. ^He gave no heed at first. ^The
0510K07 knocking went on. ^He had to_ walk over and see. $^A Filipino bellhop,
0520K07 whose quick glance darted to the telephone. ^With a muted exclamation
0530K07 he strode across the room, replaced the receiver where it belonged.
0540K07 '^Operator got worried. ^Calls, more calls for nineteen-zero-eight. ^Busy
0550K07 signal all the time.' ^He raised a pointing finger. '^That_*'1s why?'
0560K07 $'^That_*'is why.' *4^*Swami Yogananda agreed. $^The bellhop seemed
0570K07 to_ understand. ^He nodded to himself. '^Operator can keep your line busy,
0580K07 sir. ^You ask her. ^You *5Hare Krishna*6 Hindus don*'4t like a
0590K07 telephone-- right?' $'*5^*Hare Krishna?*6' $'^*I see a bunch of them outside
0600K07 the Market, down Kalakaua. ^Singing, dancing, through a half-day.
0610K07 five men, three women, all young, all *7haolee.' $'*7^Haolee?' $'^You
0620K07 don*'4t know that_ word, sir? *7^Haolee-- Hawaiian for American.
0621K07 ^Three
0630K07 American girls in Hindu dress. ^Five American guys, heads clean; only
0640K07 a thick tuft at the back of the head.' $*4^*Swami Yogananda knew
0641K07 about
0650K07 the *5Hare Krishna*6 movement. ^He had met its founder, *4Swami
0660K07 Bhaktivedanta, who lived abroad and travelled all over the world, returning
0670K07 to India once in a while. ^Aged, thickset, strings of large beads
0680K07 around his throat. ^A simplistic person, unlike the sophisticated
0690K07 Maharishi, and almost as renowned. ^Strange, how he had come to America
0700K07 and established his power over the alien youth. ^Groups of the devotees
0710K07 appeared at street corners in many cities and chanted together in
0720K07 rapt ecstasy, arms up-flung with hand cymbals clanging, bodies swaying
0730K07 in rhythmic abandon: $*5^*Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna,
0740K07 Hare Hare,*6 $*5^*Hare Rama, Hare Rama Rama, Hare Hare!*6
0750K07 $^'people stop, look, take pictures. ^Some want to_ know about *5Hare
0760K07 Krishna*6, so they try to_ date the girls.' $'^And the girls...?'
0770K07 $^The bellman grew morose and his head shook under the peaked red-and-blue
0780K07 cap. '^Those girls date God only! ^Yes, sir, I tried!' $^When
0790K07 the door had closed behind the attendant, *4Swami Yogananda returned
0800K07 to his grassmat and wanted to_ sink back into tranquillity. ^But
0810K07 the experience grew elusive. ^Boulders were churning up the stream, and
0820K07 the surface was thick with froth. ^Unhappy, he gave up the effort, rose
0830K07 to his feet, and bent again over the lanai rail, gazing down at the
0840K07 beach. ^The sands of Waikiki were thick with countless figures in
0841K07 repose,
0850K07 lustrous with hard sun. $^He felt a curious urge for close exposure
0860K07 to all that_ physicality. ^How would he react? ^He had to_ know.
0870K07 $^Deliverance was never the reward of an escapist. ^It had to_ be won under
0880K07 the stressful impact of actualities on the scene of life. ^Even if
0890K07 he was hardly midway in his self-preparation.... ^Now that the severance
0900K07 from *4Sadhana, however brief, was an accomplished fact, the challenge
0910K07 of change had to_ be met. ^Otherwise this American journey would
0920K07 be futile. $^He could not let that_ happen. $^Feet thrust into his
0930K07 slippers, he left the room and emerged a few minutes later from the
0940K07 hotel*'s rear entrance onto the beach. ^When he had picked his way between
0950K07 the sunbathers to the water*'s edge, an advancing wave swirled momentarily
0960K07 to his feet and raced back fast. ^He waited for its return.
0970K07 ^The wave came, splashing frothily. ^He took a palmful of the water and
0980K07 spilled it over his head while he spoke under his breath a *4Vedic
0990K07 prayer to *4Varuna; even though there was no *4Varuna-- the sea-god, a
1000K07 poet*'s fancy, was reckoned as one among the hundred thousand aspects
1010K07 of the Absolute Reality. $^Eyes lost on the steel rim of the ocean*'s
1020K07 end at the curving horizon, he stood still for some minutes,
1030K07 then turned round and began picking his way back until he reached
1040K07 a foot-high stone ridge across the sand. ^This was more inviting than
1050K07 the cement benches farther away. ^Dropping down on the ridge he discarded
1060K07 his wet slippers, dug with his bare heels till the sand covered
1070K07 his feet up to the ankles. ^Now he was ready to_ look around. $^This
1080K07 was the right moment, the right mood, to_ turn from the ocean and bring
1090K07 the human scene into his uninhibited vision. ^His eyes did not have
1100K07 to_ move far. ^They stopped barely ten paces ahead, transfixed. $^The young
1110K07 woman in her scanty apparel was busy smearing herself with oil or
1120K07 cream from a tube, her breasts exposed in their lush loveliness. $*4^*Swami
1130K07 Yogananda gazed, enchanted. ^For the first time in his life he
1140K07 saw a woman in the full beauty of bareness. ^His eyes moved over the
1141K07 smooth flow of grace-- the
1150K07 flat stretch of belly ending in a slight rise, the sharp slope to the
1160K07 hips, the long smooth legs. ^Presently she turned over as if to_ reveal
1170K07 more of herself; the sun-bronzed back slightly marred with red peeling
1180K07 skin; the well-rounded bottom. $^The shock of pleasure that_ went through
1190K07 him was partly surprise. $^A quarter-hour was gone. ^The impact
1200K07 was gone. ^Serenity filled him. ^His thoughts were lucid. ^It was time
1210K07 to_ ask himself a pressing question. ^This experience amounted to--
1211K07 what?
1220K07 $^One answer was clear. ^All through the experience he had felt no
1230K07 ache of desire, no wish for possession. ^He might as well have been gazing
1240K07 at a painted canvas. $^From the height of Plaza-Waikiki*'s nineteenth
1250K07 floor he had cast his eyes over the sands and seen one enormous
1260K07 canvas overlaid with numerous works of brush-and-paint, each somewhat
1270K07 like the others but not quite. ^And that_ beach, he knew, was a true microcosm
1280K07 of this island city with its heavy stress on the body*'s bareness,
1290K07 evident on the streets and even in the university. $^How to_ account,
1300K07 then, for the night*'s happening? ^His experiment with himself on
1310K07 the beach sands had brought an answer that_ was no answer! ^Could it
1320K07 be that something other than the mere physical activated his sense-involvement?
1330K07 ^He did not know. ^He had no way of knowing. $^All through this
1340K07 fortnight Devjani was often in his thoughts. ^Why did she have to_
1350K07 leave Hawaii? he brooded. ^If only she would return! ^Why should she?
1360K07 $^During the long flight from India he had been taut with the joyous
1370K07 expectation of seeing her again. ^He would give her what she had asked
1380K07 for-- initiation. ^What stupidity to_ have turned her down! ^The unique
1390K07 opportunity to_ make amends. ^But it was too late. ^*Devjani
1391K07 would
1400K07 see no reason to_ return from Harvard. $^Yogananda withdrew from his
1410K07 unhappy musings. ^He closed his eyes and controlled his breath, freezing
1420K07 into the solace of *4dhyana. ^Hours passed before he opened his eyes.
1430K07 ^The sun was stooping over the skyline. ^The sunbathing woman was gone,
1440K07 replaced by a fat man with an enormous paunch. ^*Waikiki Beach was
1450K07 almost deserted. ^Mats, clothes were still scattered about; many of
1460K07 the sunbathers were apparently in the water for their last dip of the
1470K07 day. $^Time to_ get ready for the evening. ^His 'hundredth' birthday!
1480K07 ^How had Vincent Swift reacted to what he was told on the phone?
1490K07 ^He might have checked with Stella. ^Easy to_ imagine Stella affirm
1500K07 with a qualifying addition, 'Metaphorically speaking'. $^That_ was Stella*'s
1510K07 way. ^To_ mix up facts with metaphors. ^Strange contradiction
1511K07 in such a competent person.
1520K07 ^Her delusion, since his lecture at Kennedy, that she had discovered
1530K07 a second Maharishi! ^She was excited about the roused interest
1540K07 of her socialite friend, Jennifer. ^The tall woman stooping to_ touch
1550K07 the *4guru*'s feet in salutation; an awkward gesture for any American
1560K07 and much more so for a woman of Jennifer*'s height: '^Please don*'4t.
1570K07 ^This is the way I prefer'-- ^He had brought his folded hands together
1580K07 to his chest saying *4namaskar. ^She had copied the gesture, repeated
1590K07 the word. ^In the course of her two months in India she had not
1600K07 known that_ all-too-common word of greeting. ^Like most foreign tourists
1610K07 she had seen temples and caves and products of handicraft but not men
1620K07 and women, not Indians anyway! $^How account for her interest in his
1630K07 visit? ^For that_ matter, how explain Stella*'s interest? ^It could
1640K07 be that both were motivated by the current lostness in American life,
1650K07 acutely felt but hardly comprehended. ^Yellow-robed men from the
1651K07 East
1660K07 held out the bright promise of inner adjustment and peace; a promise
1670K07 that_ dramatized their appearance on the Western scene as an advent.
1680K07 $^He had no such capacity, Yogananda knew. ^He did not have the
1681K07 simplistic beliefs of *4Bhaktivedanta; or the
1690K07 splendid audacity of Maharishi.*#
1700K07 **[no. of words = 02000**]

        **[txt. k08**]
0010K08 ^All through the first year, Chandran had made no fuss. ^He was new here,
0020K08 and a rank 'junior' was unlikely to_ find support from the older
0030K08 boys, least of all when the effort was to_ establish a new precedent.
0040K08 ^If such a thing was called for at all, and there was still no majority
0050K08 opinion on this, the seniors would not have relished the leadership of
0060K08 a newcomer. ^Their own prestige would have been at stake then. ^With
0070K08 a total understanding of human nature Chandran acquiesced. ^Nothing would
0080K08 be gained by premature action. $^He struck when the time was right,
0090K08 which was during the latter half of his second year in the hostel.
0100K08 ^And the manner in which he organised and directed the attack, as well
0110K08 as the diplomacy with which he handled the post-victory phase demonstrated
0120K08 that Chandran was a natural leader. ^This was only a minor side
0130K08 issue, but it paved the way for his career in the college union and explained
0140K08 his rapid rise to power. $^The person cast against him in this drama
0150K08 was Krishnan Nair, the canteen manager who ran the business independently
0160K08 on a contract basis. ^He was there even now, standing behind
0170K08 a counter of wood and glass, smiling a little uncertainly, his eyes
0180K08 narrowed and roving idly over the hostel quadrangle which lay in bright
0190K08 sunlight in glaring contrast to the late afternoon haze of the deserted
0200K08 dining hall. ^He knew that the warden would not come this side
0210K08 at this time of the day, but there could be some stray tutor who might
0220K08 be rash enough to_ have an exaggerated idea of his own authority and
0230K08 an ill-advised desire to_ prove it. ^Not that Krishnan Nair could foresee
0240K08 any great trouble for himself. ^Perhaps nothing more than a moment
0250K08 of embarrassment, even if he did not choose to_ withdraw from the scene
0260K08 at the approach of danger. ^If he felt apprehensive about anyone,
0270K08 it could only be about the hapless tutor. ^The boys had a 'thing' about
0280K08 tutors, invariably youngsters promoted to a position of authority
0290K08 after the final year and undergoing apprenticeship under professors. $^*Krishnan
0300K08 Nair personally did not feel in the least vulnerable. ^After
0310K08 nearly twenty years, he considered himself a permanent fixture at
0320K08 the hostel. ^And he was proud of it. ^He had seen boys come and go,
0330K08 even as he had seen wardens come and go. ^Some of his old customers were
0340K08 now out in the wide world and held high positions in Government
0350K08 and commercial firms. ^A former student who was an ambassador in a distant
0360K08 country still sent him new year cards. ^In a reminiscent mood Krishnan
0370K08 Nair would bring them out and show them to the present crop
0380K08 of boys. ^It was again through similar contacts that he had obtained
0390K08 jobs for two of his sons and a nephew... ^No, he was not on the 'staff'
0400K08 but his position in the institution was unassailable. ^Even Father
0410K08 Joshe, on those rare occasions when he visited the hostel, always stopped
0420K08 by to_ exchange a word with him, or enquire about him from one of
0421K08 the server boys if Krishnan Nair was not at his post. ^Both of
0430K08 them, at different levels, felt the same way about the college-- an
0440K08 integral part of the institution and proud of its great traditions. $^*Krishnan
0450K08 Nair did not particularly care for Chandran, though one would
0460K08 not have noticed it in his manner or speech. ^Outwardly he treated
0470K08 all the boys equally. ^He listened with patience to their complaints
0480K08 about food, reprimaned a server boy if he showed signs of inefficiency
0490K08 or impertinence, kept the place in reasonably good order and was secretly
0500K08 proud of the condition of the furniture and crockery. ^He had
0510K08 obtained special permission to_ put the counter, behind which he stood
0520K08 now; the glass front displayed an assortment of things inside: toiletry,
0530K08 stationery, envelopes and postage stamps, shirt buttons, shoe laces
0540K08 and tins of boot-polish, steel keychains and razor blades and various
0550K08 other items which the boys needed from time to time and considered
0560K08 too much trouble to_ buy at the *4bazzar. ^He maintained, with a self-satisfied
0570K08 smile, that his prices were more than reasonable as he got his
0580K08 goods from the wholesalers. ^He sold cigarettes, too, but these were
0590K08 stored away from sight in a bottom drawer to which only Krishnan Nair
0600K08 had the key. $^He would have liked cash dealings, particularly with
0610K08 some of the boys, but the greater part of his business was made on
0620K08 a credit basis. ^He ran no great risk in this, because the college collected
0630K08 a security deposit from each student at the time of enrolment,
0640K08 meant to_ cover breakage of furniture, laboratory equipment, loss of
0650K08 library books and so on; but after Krishnan Nair had had a few distressing
0660K08 experiences with some deliberate defaulters among the boys, the
0670K08 college authorities had kindly raised the deposit and checked whether
0680K08 each outgoing student had cleared his canteen dues before returning
0690K08 the amount. $^*Chandran was one of the boys, Krishnan Nair would have
0700K08 predicted with a by-now infallible judgment, who was destined to_ forfeit
0710K08 a large part of the deposit. ^Not that he was dishonest or wilfully
0720K08 negligent. ^It was also apparent that he was from a well-to-do land-owning
0730K08 family from whom sizable money orders arrived with punctuality
0740K08 at the beginning of the month. ^*Krishnan Nair suspected that the
0750K08 boy liked to_ break things-- rules as well as property **[sic**]
0751K08 whether it belonged
0760K08 to him or not. ^*Chandran never grudged payment. ^It was as though
0770K08 he just could not be bothered with such trivial matters. ^He was a free
0780K08 spender, generous when he was in a good mood, and it earned for him
0790K08 the awe and devotion of the poorer students as well as habitual scroungers.
0800K08 ^It was rarely that he was seen without hangers-on. ^*Chandran
0810K08 never demeaned himself by stealing, or perhaps he was too careful about
0820K08 his reputation. ^The glass flask in his room in which he kept drinking
0830K08 water or the beakers he used when serving his friends, all belonged
0840K08 to the college laboratory but were not 'flicked' by him. ^They were
0850K08 all presents from fawning admirers. ^He used them, though he felt a
0860K08 secret contempt for those delinquents. ^It was utterly adolescent, the
0870K08 way some boys stole chemicals and other usless things purely on a dare.
0880K08 ^*Krishnan Nair also was wary of kleptomaniacs. ^But there was no
0890K08 way of reaching his goods without his knowledge, except by breaking the
0900K08 glass front of the counter. ^They had done it only once-- and it was
0910K08 mania of a different kind. ^It was a riot. $^At that_ time, though Chandran
0920K08 had been in the hostel for more than a year, Krishnan Nair
0930K08 did not know him very well. ^The boy did not look any different from
0940K08 others and he was courteous and well-mannered, and a good customer. ^There
0950K08 was a little aloofness about him; Krishnan Nair had, wrongly as
0960K08 he discovered later, taken it to_ be the natural shyness of the newcomer.
0970K08 ^It was nothing of the kind. ^It was more the instinctive feeling
0980K08 of alienation of the leader from the common fold. ^His followers did
0990K08 not notice it, but many of his detractors considered it arroFance, though
1000K08 not one of them, after the first few months, would have bothered
1010K08 to_ raise the issue with him. $^One day, without any preliminaries, Chandran
1020K08 had lighted a cigarette in the dining hall after finishing lunch.
1030K08 ^It created a stir, surprise and amusement among the students present,
1040K08 and annoyance in Krishnan Nair. ^He went up to Chandran without
1050K08 much fanfare and told him to_ put out the cigarette. ^When Chandran
1060K08 ignored him, he quoted the hostel rule, at which he was asked to_ mind
1070K08 his own business. ^*Krishnan Nair did not fancy getting into a scuffle.
1080K08 ^He could have, if it came to that_, handled Chandran alone but
1090K08 not a crowd of boys. ^He announced loudly that he would not any longeer
1100K08 sell cigarettes to Chandran. $'^*I shall settle this without any intervention
1110K08 from the warden,' he said to those nearby. ^What was at stake
1120K08 was his own dignity and prestige. ^He would not put up with any nonsense
1130K08 from any of the boys. ^Right was on his side. ^He did not have the
1140K08 least doubt about his own victory. $^Nothing spectacular happened in
1141K08 the
1150K08 next two days. ^But no student came to_ buy anything at the counter, and
1160K08 on the third day Krishnan Nair was a little worried and nervous.
1170K08 ^His dealings were now confined to a few of the really bad credit customers,
1180K08 and even they seemed to_ be in a great hurry to_ make their purchases
1190K08 and disappear at the earliest opportunity. ^The fourth day, it seemed,
1200K08 things returned almost to normal, but later there was trouble
1210K08 in the hostel. ^Four of the boys who had bought things from him found
1220K08 their rooms in a shambles and most of their possessions strewn in the
1230K08 corridor when they returned from their classes. ^Without bringing in
1240K08 Krishnan Nair or the origin of the controversy, the matter was taken
1250K08 up with the warden. ^*Chandran, however, had a cast-iron alibi: he was
1260K08 having some personal doubts relating to his studies cleared by a professor
1270K08 at the time that the incident had taken place. $^Business slumped
1280K08 again. $^It was not so much the loss of business as the indignity of
1290K08 it that_ worried Krishnan Nair. ^In the long run, he knew he would win;
1300K08 the boys would find it impossible to_ boycott him. ^He could ignore
1310K08 the sniggers and provocative remarks that_ he overheard during meal times.
1320K08 ^What really irked him was the elaborate courtesy, the tongue-in-cheek
1330K08 politeness that_ Chandran and his immediate friends showed him.
1340K08 ^They alone came to the counter and made lengthy enquiries about the
1350K08 price and quality of various things. ^They never bought anything; they
1360K08 handled the goods with great care, almost reverence, and returned everything
1370K08 to him intact. ^Then they would walk away, apparently unaware
1380K08 of the laughter and hootings that_ came from other students sitting
1390K08 at the tables and watching the proceedings. $^At the end of ten days,
1400K08 Krishnan Nair announced a drastic cut in prices. ^It was madness,
1410K08 he knew... but things were going too far for his comfort. ^The warden
1420K08 was aware of what was going on but he refused to_ interfere in the absence
1430K08 of any specific complaints or untoward incididents. ^When Krishnan
1440K08 Nair himself had met him, he did not bring up the subject, and he
1450K08 noted the amused smile on the warden*'s face, and as a matter of personal
1460K08 pride, hinted that if things were left to his own discretion, he
1470K08 would bring matters back to normal in no time. $^He publicised the price
1480K08 cuts. ^He got pieces of white cardboard and displayed the new rates
1490K08 in bold letters written in black and at some places underlined in red.
1500K08 ^He was not displeased with the effect on the students. ^There was
1510K08 apparently a clear division of loyalties and open signs that the boycott
1520K08 would end. ^The stocks were finished in no time. ^If Chandran himself
1530K08 noticed the rush at the counter, he gave no indication whatever. ^The
1540K08 familiar, self-satisfied smile came back to Krishnan Nair*'s face;
1550K08 it lasted exactly two days. $^Trouble-- real trouble-- started early one
1560K08 morning. ^*Krishnan Nair, thinking the cold war was at an end, had removed
1570K08 the price reduction card and had gone back to the old rates. ^*Mathew
1580K08 sidled up to the counter as soon as it opened and gingerly picked
1590K08 up three family-size tubes of toothpaste; a friend of his asked for
1600K08 six packets of razor blades. ^Then two more boys came and after a
1610K08 quick survey selected three jars of hair-cream and four toothbrushes of
1620K08 very fine quality. ^*Krishnan Nair was considerably surprised, but
1630K08 felt this might be one of his good days. ^The items were packed, and idly
1640K08 he noticed that there was a small crowd gathering at the counter. ^He
1650K08 was just entering these purchases in his account book when Mathew
1660K08 announced to a bystander that with prices so reasonable now, he was really
1670K08 stocking up for the rest of the year.*#
        **[no. of words = 02026**]

        **[txt. k09**]
0010K09 $^While many things had changed after independence, one of the institutions
0020K09 that_ did not change was the office of the district collector. ^The
0030K09 'collector' started his life in the days of the East India
0031K09 Company
0040K09 as a collector of revenue. ^Understandably, it was considered the most
0050K09 important function and he was given every support in the form of the
0060K09 police, the judiciary, and even the army. ^But as time went on, his
0070K09 functions expanded. ^In the heyday of the British Raj he was the representative
0080K09 of the viceroy and the first citizen of the district. ^He
0090K09 was looked up to by others, Indian as well as British businessmen and
0100K09 officials. ^In independent India, he was in charge of law and order,
0110K09 development projects, and various other odds and ends in addition to
0120K09 the collection of land revenue. ^Apart from all these duties, he was
0130K09 the president of the prohibition committee, the Red Cross, the district
0140K09 development council, the prisonrs*' aid society, the international
0150K09 service league, the boy scouts association, and a lot of similar organisations
0160K09 including the \0S.S.S. ^This was supposed to_ ensure that these
0170K09 organisations functioned efficiently and to_ bring about cooperation
0180K09 among all of them. ^But all it succeeded in doing was to_ ensure the
0181K09 survival of each and everyone of them. ^Surely, you could not wind
0190K09 up an organisation when the collector of the district was the president.
0200K09 ^Used as they were to official 'direction and guidance' during
0210K09 the British Raj, most people accepted it cheerfully and tried to_ get
0220K09 into the good books of the collector to_ get what they wanted. $^The
0230K09 Society had in its membership a cross-section of the people interested
0240K09 in social service as well as many others who were not. ^Most organisations
0250K09 were represented because the society was supposed to_ coordinate
0260K09 the work of all of them. ^But the membership itself was a variable factor
0270K09 since the subscriptions were collected sporadically. ^The names
0280K09 of important people in the town were often included as members or even
0290K09 as committee members without their knowledge or consent. ^As a result,
0300K09 it sometimes happened that there were more committee members than the
0310K09 total membership, since committee members, when once elected, were never
0320K09 dropped. ^This created an awkward situation for all concerned and in
0330K09 the interests of constitutional propriety, \0V.P. suggested that
0340K09 those who were on the committee without paying their subscription should
0350K09 be elected as honorary members. ^In the course of a few years, almost
0360K09 the entire membership became honorary and the small matter of the
0370K09 subscription was superfluous. ^However, in order to_ have some funds
0380K09 for expenditure, the committee resolved to_ collect only donations in
0390K09 the future. $^The \0S.S.S. was composed of several types of members.
0400K09 ^There were those who during the days of the British Raj had furthered
0410K09 the cause of social service by collecting money for the war fund,
0420K09 attending receptions in government houses, and occasionally receiving
0430K09 governors and other high officials. ^They hoped to_ carry on that_ tradition
0440K09 though a few adjustments in their dress and conversation had
0450K09 become necessary in view of the changed circumstances. ^For such trouble
0460K09 and sacrifice they were rewarded in the British days by titles such
0470K09 as Rao Bahadur, Dewan Bahadur, \0O.B.E., \0M.B.E., and, occasionally,
0480K09 even a knighthood. ^The most important factor in such achievements
0490K09 was the ability to_ please the collector of the district and
0500K09 be brought to the notice of the governor of the state. ^A knighthood of
0510K09 course depended on political influence in higher quarters. ^But each vied
0520K09 with the other according to his ability and influence in the lower
0530K09 spheres of social service. ^Since 1974, the titles had gone out of usage,
0540K09 but the Indian government had introduced a new set of awards with
0550K09 Bharat Ratna at the top and Padma Shri at the bottom. ^And people
0560K09 kept discussing about their English equivalents. ^Was a Padma Bhushan
0570K09 equivalent to a knighthood? ^It was just like getting used to a
0580K09 new currency; one tended to_ convert everything into the old currency before
0590K09 judging the value. ^But as status symbols, the new awards were not
0600K09 as useful as the old ones since they were not supposed to_ be used either
0610K09 as suffixes or prefixes to one*'s name. ^One couldn*'4t print one*'s
0620K09 award on one*'s letterhead for example. "^What is the use of giving
0630K09 you an award if you cannot display it? ^How would people know that
0640K09 you are an award holder?" was the general feeling. ^Further, the Indian
0650K09 government was not as generous in the conferment of titles as the previous
0660K09 government had been. ^All sorts of unexpected people got them too.
0670K09 ^In the British days, factors such as wealth, position, \0etc., were
0680K09 primary considerations. ^In spite of these handicaps, there was no
0690K09 harm in hoping for an award and getting the satisfaction of having served
0700K09 one*'s fellow creatures at the same time. $^Then there were the ones
0710K09 who wore handspun *4khadi and who were beginning to_ find out that
0720K09 service to the poor and the needy could be promoted by attending tea parties
0730K09 and it was certainly a more pleasant diversion than being locked
0740K09 up in British jails for the same objective. ^But having inherited the
0750K09 mettle of Mahatma Gandhi on their shoulders, they talked of service
0760K09 to the nation as if it was their monopoly and tended to_ treat others
0770K09 in a slightly condescending manner and with the superior air of people
0780K09 who had suffered for the cause of freedom while others shone in the
0790K09 reflected glory of the British Raj. ^They spoke of village uplift, rural
0800K09 reconstruction, and moral regeneration in the same way as others
0810K09 discussed their friends and acquaintances. ^Before 1947, they had boycotted
0820K09 organisations such as the Society, but had made up for it
0821K09 since, much
0830K09 to the annoyance of veterans like *(0V. P.*) Iyer. $^Some joined
0840K09 the Society because it provided an outlet for their talents for speech-making
0850K09 and airing their views on all sorts of subjects irrespective
0860K09 of the matter under discussion. ^Others joined it because it was one way
0870K09 of getting to_ know the collector in a more or less informal manner.
0880K09 ^Strangely enough, there were quite a few who either through religious
0890K09 compulsion or socil conscience wished to_ serve their fellow human beings
0900K09 and the only avenue open to them was the Society. ^There were also
0910K09 some young men who were fired by the enthusiasm of their age for service
0920K09 and joined such organisations until cynicism and a sense of frustration
0930K09 drove them to_ take up either bridge or billiards. $^The annual general
0940K09 meeting of the Society had been announced to_ take place at 5 \0P.M.
0950K09 at the collector*'s office. ^That_ did not mean that the meeting
0960K09 commenced at 5 \0P.M. sharp. ^In fact, at the appointed time, there
0970K09 was no one there except the peon who was adjusting the ink-stand and the
0980K09 paper weights on his boss*'s desk for want of something better to_
0990K09 do. ^The secretary, \0Miss Kaveri, arrived five minutes later and told
1000K09 the peon to_ bring in more chairs. $"^Nobody turns up for these meetings,"
1010K09 said the peon, as he brought in some more chairs from the outer
1020K09 office reluctantly. $"^There will be more people today," Kaveri assured
1030K09 him. $^Then the collector*'s camp clerk arrived to_ say that his
1040K09 superior had been held up at another meeting and he would arrive shortly.
1050K09 $^As far as the Society was concerned, the annual general meeting
1060K09 was not always an annual affair. ^Normally it was held only when a collector
1070K09 was transferred and a new one took over. ^Since he was the president,
1080K09 he had to_ be formally elected and the occasion was availed of
1090K09 to_ elect other office-bearers and committee members. ^In the years when
1100K09 there was no transfer of the collector, accounts were circulated, and
1110K09 it was recommended that the same office-bearers might continue. ^Since
1120K09 no one thought of raising any objections to this procedure, it worked fairly
1130K09 smoothly. $^But Kaveri had been secretary for about seven years
1140K09 and some people felt that there ought to_ be a change. ^She was gettig
1150K09 too powerful and domineering and had annoyed many people in one way
1160K09 or another. ^So far she had always had the president on her side, but
1170K09 this time it was rumoured that the new collector*'s wife was a distant
1180K09 relative of \0Mrs. Jayalakshmi and some people aware of the situation
1190K09 had been able to_ 'poison her mind' against Kaveri; or at least
1200K09 so Kaveri thought. ^But she was not going to_ give in without a fight.
1210K09 ^In such organisations it was generally found that one person held sway
1220K09 for a long time with no opposition and when she was dethroned, it
1230K09 led to convulsions in the entire organisation and even to its winding
1240K09 up. $^By about 5.15 \0P.M. people began to_ drift in, in ones and
1250K09 twos. ^*Kaveri greeted them all as if they had come to her house at
1260K09 her personal invitation. $"^How is the *4ashram, *4Swamiji?" she asked
1270K09 a saffron-robed monk, as she walked on to_ greet the others. $"^It is
1280K09 still waiting for that_ donation you promised from the \0S.S.S."
1290K09 said the *4Swamiji, but Kaveri was already beyond earshot. $"^Welcome,
1300K09 \0Mr. Ramayya," she smiled benevolently at the rare visitor. "we
1310K09 never see you at our meetings; I wish you would come more often. ^We
1320K09 depend on people like you so much in our work." $\0^*Mr. Ramayya was quite
1330K09 flustered when ladies spoke to him and he mumbled a very embarrassed
1340K09 'thank you'. $"^*I know why you don*'4t come to our meeting," she
1350K09 taunted him, wagging a finger. "^It is because you think we will ask you
1360K09 for a donation. ^But if we don*'4t ask the leading businessman and
1370K09 philanthropist in town, who are we to_ ask?" she smiled coyly. "^*I know
1380K09 what we will do; we will elect you as a vice-president. ^Then you will
1390K09 have to_ take more interest. \0^*Mr. Iyer, you propose his name." $"^That
1400K09 is not a bad idea, Kaveri," said \0Mr. Iyer. $"^*Kaveri is turning
1410K09 on her charm this evening." whispered Sunderam, who had been
1420K09 listening to the conversation. "^Pity, she is not good-looking; then she
1430K09 might get somewhere with Ramayya. ^*I suppose she thinks that if her
1440K09 name is proposed along with Ramayya*'s, she will get elected without
1450K09 opposition." $"^No doubt our eminent lawyer friend will do all the
1460K09 proposing and ensure a smooth election merely by his powers of oratory",
1470K09 responded \0Dr. Rajan. "^And things will go on or not go on exactly
1480K09 as before." ^Then he changed the subject. "^Talking of the Rao *4Sahib,
1490K09 did you see the current *3Weekly Gong?*0 ^You are a journalist and
1500K09 must know the inside story of everything that_ appears in the papers."
1510K09 $"^You mean the article about Khan *4Sahib Karuppiah?" $"^Yes."
1520K09 $"^*I had seen it before it was published," said Sunderam. $"^You are
1530K09 not the author by any chance, are you?" the doctor wanted to_ know. $"^No,
1540K09 but the editor sent it to me to_ make sure that fiction is not stranger
1550K09 than truth." $"^*I think it is wrong," said the *4Swamiji who
1560K09 had joined them. "^It is morally wrong that a man*'s private life should
1570K09 be exposed in this manner by people who are perhaps no better, if not
1580K09 worse." $"^But *4Swami, don*'4t you think that social wrongs should
1590K09 be set right?" asked Sunderam. "^It is the duty of the press."
1600K09 $"^If so, you should have had the courage to_ publish it not as fiction,
1610K09 but as biography and face the consequences." $"^We write what the public
1620K09 wants to_ read. ^And if it can only be done through fiction, we don*'4t
1630K09 hesitate to_ do it. ^Our duty is to the public and to no one else."
1640K09 $"^Then, what is the difference between you and a tooth-paste manufacturer?"
1650K09 asked the *4Swami. "^Don*'4t think you are going to_ harm
1660K09 him by such articles. ^Very soon people will begin to_ sympathise with
1670K09 him." $"^We, the gentlemen of the press, are true *5karma yogis*6,
1680K09 *4Swami", laughed Sunderam. "^We do our duty and do not bother
1690K09 about the ultimate result."*#
        **[no. of words = 02002**]

        **[txt. k10**]
0010K10 **<*3Unemployment Statistics*0**> $*3^A change of scene did not help solve
0020K10 his problems. \0^*Dr Chand not only faced a new crisis on his domestic
0030K10 front, his professional reputation was also in jeopardy.*0 $^WHEN
0040K10 Sumit Chand returned to India from the United States he had earned
0050K10 several degrees. ^The \0BS and \0MS and \0PhD naturally, as well
0060K10 as a *(oD Phil*), a degree held in considerable awe in academic circles.
0070K10 \0^*Dr Chand*'s post-doctoral work in the field of sub-atomic particles
0080K10 reacting to divided neutrons transmitted through an electronic
0090K10 oscilloscope had virtually transformed the science. $^He taught for several
0100K10 years at a famous university near Boston, establishing a deserved
0110K10 reputation for lucidity and eloquence, as well as brilliance. ^His work
0120K10 contributed significantly to human knowledge. ^His theory, for instance,
0130K10 proved invaluable in creating the inexpensive, synthetic substitute for
0140K10 milk, which has had such far-reaching and beneficial consequences for
0150K10 the poor of the world. $^Life, in short, was good to \0Dr Chand. ^He
0160K10 loved his work. ^His salary was more than adequate. ^His wife was happily
0170K10 occupied with the little export-import agency she managed. ^His fourteen-year-old
0180K10 daughter was busy with her schoolwork. ^His eight-year-old
0190K10 son was not a problem. ^All was well with his world. $^One day, while
0200K10 teaching, he suddenly felt dizzy. ^Cutting the class short and cancelling
0210K10 the others for the day, he got into his blue Ford station wagon--
0220K10 his wife had taken the Cadillac that_ day-- got on to the expressway and
0230K10 headed home. "^*I*'3ve been pushing myself too hard," he thought. "^*I
0240K10 need some rest." ^He drove into the garage of his house in a Boston
0250K10 suburb and saw that the Cadillac was not there. "^Good," he thought, "I*'3ll
0260K10 have the house to myself." $^He started up the green shag carpeting
0270K10 of the split level house when he heard a sound from his daughter*'s
0280K10 bedroom. ^Curious, he retraced his steps and opened the door. ^Fourteen-year-old
0290K10 Kusum, he saw with a strange sense of detachment, lay sprawled
0300K10 on the bed, her blue-and-white panties around her ankles, while a young
0310K10 man (\0Dr Chand shut his eyes momentarily here, searching for a phrase)
0320K10 took unpardonable liberties. $^Just then Kusum opened her eyes
0330K10 and saw her father standing at the door. ^With a faint look of exasperation
0340K10 she said distinctly, "^Oh shit." $^THE day after the semester
0350K10 ended, the Chand family was gathered at the Air-India departure counter
0360K10 at Kennedy Airport. \0^*Dr Chand and his wife Sonia, though drawn
0370K10 closer by this crisis, felt strangely alienated from each other by
0380K10 their mutual feelings of guilt. "^It*'1s my fault," each thought, "I
0390K10 should have watched her more closely." ^Little Robert Chand-- "he*'3ll
0400K10 be more easily accepted here with that_ name," Sonia had insisted-- ran
0410K10 around going *3bang-bang at the other passengers. ^*Kusum sat sulking
0420K10 in a corner, looking bored. $"^Ever since *3that_ morning," she thought
0430K10 disgustedly, "life has been impossible." ^After her mother had returned
0440K10 home Kusum had gone to confront her parents and they merely sat there
0450K10 and barely said anything, just gazed at her with eyes full of hurt,
0460K10 guilt and a strangely stricken look. ^Like it was the end of the world.
0470K10 $^She had felt a little defiant at their obvious pain. "^*I like Jim,"
0480K10 she tried to_ explain. ^Her mother burst into tears. $"^It*'1s no big
0490K10 deal really," Kusum had insisted. "^Everybody does it." ^Her father
0500K10 had come over then and slapped her, his glasses misty. ^The next day they
0510K10 had told her they were going back to India "so that she couldn*'4t
0520K10 run wild". $"^*India," Kusum thought desolately as their flight was announced.
0530K10 "^Cows on the road, the country stinking of cowdung, people
0531K10 who
0540K10 yell all the time. ^It*'1s going to_ be a real pain." $^They chose to_
0541K10 settle in Delhi. \0^*Dr Sumit Chand*'s parents were thrilled that they
0550K10 were back for good. ^They fussed over Kusum and Robert, bursting
0560K10 into excited laughter at their Americanised Hindi. ^Other relatives,
0570K10 many of whom hadn*'4t been seen for years, miraculously appeared and the
0580K10 place was in a constant uproar. ^Old friends came by and the house that_
0590K10 had been silent all these years, filled only with the slow movements
0600K10 of two old people, again erupted with shouts of laughter and the fragrance
0610K10 of huge platters of food as in the kitchen the harassed cook raced
0620K10 from pot to pot to_ keep pace with the demands of the perennial feast.
0630K10 $*3^WHEN*0 he finally had a little time, \0Dr Chand sent a letter
0640K10 of application to an institute that_ was doing the kind of research he
0650K10 was interested in. ^Within days he received a deferential reply urging
0660K10 him to_ join the organisation as soon as he could. "^*I always thought the
0670K10 Government was slow in replying," he said to Sonia with amused pride.
0680K10 $^They put their money into bonds and calculated that they would have
0690K10 more than enough to_ live on from the dividends together with the salary
0700K10 and perquisites his job would provide. ^They packed, ready to_ move
0710K10 as soon as they heard that the Minister had given his approval, which,
0720K10 they were assured, was a mere formality. $^The Secretary of the Ministry
0730K10 was quite excited at the quality of the new recruit. ^He personally
0740K10 carried the file to the Minister *4Sahib for his signature and regaled
0750K10 him with the benefits to India that_ would accrue from the
0751K10 research
0760K10 of such a genius. ^The Minister, too, was impressed. $"^What*'1s the
0780K10 practical application of this fellow*'s theory?" he asked. $"^Synthetic
0790K10 milk," said the Secretary excitedly. "^Can you imagine, sir, what we can
0800K10 now do to_ supply it cheaply to the very poorest segments of our society
0810K10 and to..." his voice trailed off as he saw with a sinking feeling the
0820K10 flushed features of the Minister *4Sahib. $"^Milk," said the Minister
0830K10 thickly, his voice rising. "^Synthetic milk!" ^He pounded the desk.
0840K10 "^Are you telling me this fellow makes synthetic milk?" $^The secretary
0850K10 nodded dumbly, shocked into silence. $"^What kind of Indian is this
0860K10 who would perpetrate this insult on our *5go mata*6?" roared the Minister.
0870K10 "^The cow is as our mother! ^Only she has the right to_ give milk,"
0880K10 he shrieked, "not some foreign upstart of a scientist! ^Only she, you
0890K10 hear me. ^Only she. ^It is written in the *4shastras!" $^He swept the file
0900K10 off his desk. "^Never will I sign this, you understand? ^Never!" $^The
0910K10 Secretary staggered out of the room, clutching the file as the Minister
0920K10 drank water noisily from a glass to_ cool his outraged nerves. $\0^*Dr
0930K10 Chand looked at the cyclostyled letter form stupidly. ^It stated
0940K10 that his qualifications had not been found adequate. ^He shook his head
0950K10 vigorously to_ clear it of the nightmare, but it was still there. ^His
0960K10 qualifications were not deemed satisfactory. ^Slowly the shock turned
0970K10 to disbelief, t<anger, then to anxiety. ^Rapidly he thought of the alternatives.
0980K10 ^He could teach at a university, he could work for a private
0981K10 company
0990K10 or a research group. ^Surely his talents would be recognised. ^Relieved,
1000K10 he sent off some more applications. $^MEANWHILE a member of the
1010K10 Opposition party heard of the strange scene and tantrum in the Minister*'s
1020K10 office. ^Discreetly he made his own enquiries and one day he rose
1030K10 in Parliament during an unemployment debate: $"^The Government can
1040K10 hardly pretend to_ be concerned at a white-collar unemployment," he thundered,
1050K10 "when they refuse a job to the greatest scientist India has ever
1060K10 produced, \0Dr Sumit Chand, an outstanding genius, a glittering star
1070K10 in the galaxy of scientists." $^The Hon*'3ble Minister rose wrathfully
1080K10 to his feet to_ answer and the battle was joined. $"^Symbol of our
1090K10 unemployment statistics!" roared the Opposition. $"^Cow killer!" yelled
1100K10 the Treasury Benches. $"^*Government incompetence!" taunted the Opposition.
1110K10 $"^Preservation of our glorious culture!" defended the ruling
1120K10 party. $"^Colossal idiots!" $"^*Hindu *4dharma!" $^All over India the
1121K10 battle
1130K10 was enacted. $^There was a riot in Agra and the police had to_ resort
1140K10 to a *(lathi-charge*). ^In Calcutta a violent crowd was teargassed
1141K10 but
1150K10 not before it had set fire to two trams. ^In Bombay a rampaging mob compelled
1160K10 the police to_ resort to firing in which three persons were killed.
1170K10 ^Consequently a crowd demanding a judicial inquiry into the firing also
1180K10 turned violent, was fired upon and four more persons were killed. ^Seven
1190K10 universities went on strike to_ protest the Government*'s decision
1191K10 **[sic**]
1200K10 to_ permit the manufacture of synthetic milk. ^Five universities went on
1210K10 strike to_ protest the Government*'s assurances not to_ permit the manufacture
1220K10 of synthetic milk. $^In Madras several hundred workers courted
1230K10 arrest to_ protest the arbitrary decision of the Government. ^Four *4sadhus
1240K61 went on a hunger strike till death to_ force the Government to_
1250K10 reverse its decision allowing synthetic milk. ^Three labour organisers went
1260K10 on an indefinite fast to_ force the Government to_ double the quota
1270K10 for synthetic milk. ^*Indian Airlines went on a wildcat strike to_ press
1280K10 their demand for a wage increase. ^A delegation of student leaders from
1290K10 Bareilly staged a sit-down strike and a relay fast outside the residence
1300K10 of the Minister for Tourism. ^When contacted, the mystified Minister
1310K10 could offer no reason for their action. $^A venerable spiritual leader
1320K10 condemned the rising tide of lawlessness and immorality and urged a
1330K10 return to Gandhian philosophy. ^A prominent spokesman denied before a
1340K10 citizen*'s group that there was any disorder and assured them in the same
1350K10 breath that the Government was investigating if \0Mr Sanjay Gandhi*'s
1360K10 role during the Emergency was responsible for the present lawlessness.
1370K10 "^No one who is guilty howsoever mighty," he is quoted as having said,
1380K10 "will go unpunished." $^A group of students stoned the American Embassy
1390K10 for the alleged role of the \0CIA and multinationals in instigating
1400K10 the disturbances. ^After handing over a memorandum for President Carter--
1410K10 which a spokesman assured them would be communicated to him--
1411K10 they
1420K10 left. ^Later a visa application was found hidden in the memorandum. ^Another
1430K10 spokesman said it was being processed. $^A group of *4sadhus demonstrated
1440K10 outside \0Dr Chand*'s house demanding that he confess that he
1450K10 had been converted to Islam. ^They also demanded food as they were *4Brahmins
1460K10 and threatened to_ set fire to his house. ^A police officer reverently
1470K10 touched their feet before personally leading a
1471K10 *(lathi-charge*). $^*Kusum
1480K10 Chand peeped at them from the balcony. "^Weird," she giggled. "^Just
1490K10 weird." ^Just then the new servant rushed up to her and dragged her
1500K10 inside. $\0Dr Chand meanwhile found all the private organisations reluctant
1510K10 to_ hire him because of the controversy such an appointment would
1520K10 inadvertently invite. ^He read of the violence and the mounting death
1530K10 toll with anguish and disbelief. $^ONE day, after Delhi had been
1540K10 placed under curfew, an official car took him to the Minister *4Sahib
1550K10 who reluctantly informed him that, under orders from above, his Ministry
1560K10 was appointing him Director of the Institute he had initially applied
1570K10 to, provided he gave an undertaking not to_ conduct any research in synthetic
1580K10 milk but to_ work in other fields and administer the Institute.
1590K10 ^The previous Director had been asked to_ resign for his incompetence
1600K10 in not hiring \0Dr Chand initially. $\0Dr Chand accepted the offer,
1610K10 thrilled at having his own institute where he could experiment with his
1620K10 organisational ideas and do some research. ^Smiling to himself, he returned
1630K10 home, pleased that India hadn*'4t let him down and both his filial
1640K10 and professional impulses could be satisfied. $^Nobody was home, so he
1650K10 decided to_ get his old books out to_ see what other branch of research
1660K10 might interest him. ^His books and other baggage had arrived by sea and
1670K10 had been put in a room next to the servants*' quarters over the garage.
1680K10 ^Engrossed in his dreams for the future, he went up the stairs and absent-mindedly
1690K10 pushed open a door. $^There was a terrifying familiarity about
1700K10 the scene, he thought, as his mind raced back to that_ morning in B
1710K10 oston. ^Only this time the other convulsing body belonged to the new servant
1720K10 boy.*#
        **[no. of words = 01972**]

        **[txt. k11**]
0010K11 *<*3Five*> $^*Shyam*'s thirty-first birthday fell on the twenty-third
0020K11 of December. ^Of this fact he was brought to mind immediately on
0030K11 awaking in the morning. ^Not yet out of bed and with sleepy eyes, he
0040K11 hummed many times under the cosy warmth of his quilt, "^Ah, it*'1s my
0050K11 birthday today!" ^Until now he had ignored his birthdays, having had
0060K11 the notion that it reduced his speed. ^If, for example, you were reminded
0070K11 of the advance in your age while negotiating stairs, or while holding
0080K11 out your hand to_ open or close the door of a lift, or while tying
0090K11 or untying your shoes or while pouting your lips to_ give a kiss
0100K11 or while applying the razor to the upper end of your beard at the start
0110K11 of the ritual of shaving-- your limbs grew slowly relaxed, you felt
0120K11 depressed and you started yawning. ^You unnecessarily thought, what*'1s
0130K11 the good of doing all this? ^Nothing*'1s going to_ last unto the
0140K11 end. ^*Shyam*'s birthdays had therefore been without any celebration
0150K11 and he had ignored the twenty-third of December altogether. $^*Shyam
0160K11 left his bed later than usual, washed himself and studied his
0170K11 face in the mirror. ^Nowadays he looked somewhat a holy person. ^His
0180K11 overgrown hair was starting to_ curl in ringlets down the nape of
0190K11 his neck. ^He walked over to the window with the mirror in his hand.
0200K11 ^The sun was streaming down the southern window. ^There was a mango
0210K11 tree just in front; dewdrops still hung on a spider*'s web in the
0220K11 shade of some foliage. ^He turned the mirror as soon as the reflected
0230K11 sunlight fell on that_ web. ^The light streaked to the window on the
0240K11 second floor of the house across the road. ^He noticed with a faint
0250K11 curiosity that the light had fallen on an oil painting of an old face
0260K11 and remarked with a frown, "^Blackmarketeer!" ^He deflected the
0270K11 light which fell on three pups snooping around a dustbin in front of
0280K11 a garage with red doors. ^But the light did not show much because the
0290K11 road was bathed in bright sunshine. ^He leant out to_ look for a shady
0300K11 spot. ^This game of light-throwing was one Shyam had played many
0310K11 times in his boyhood. ^Now, however, he had grown up and was crossing
0320K11 his thirty-first year today. ^The thought made him smile slightly--
0330K11 in the manner he used to_, when he was a child. ^Craning his neck
0340K11 forward, he saw a *4rickshaw coming up slowly past the crossing on
0350K11 the left, carrying a girl with a guitar. ^*Shyam moved the mirror
0360K11 away carefully, for who knew but that the girl would stop the *4rickshaw
0370K11 and come upstairs and say with a coy smile, i came up because
0380K11 you beckoned to me! ^*Shyam also let go of a girl in a saffron *4sari and
0390K11 a handbag, who walked straight ahead quite a long way. ^He played
0400K11 the reflection on the wall of the house of the Duttas a few times:
0410K11 the enclosed bit of lawn had crows prancing on it, and a white cat,
0420K11 emerging from a hole under the steps, was making genuflections. ^He
0430K11 threw the reflection on the cat*'s face, without any effect, however;
0440K11 it climbed up the steps and entered the house through the door, turning
0450K11 its head with the contemptuous indifference of a queen. ^As he
0460K11 turned the reflection a crow flew away. ^A careless flick of the
0470K11 reflection on a window on the far side of the lawn lighted an array
0480K11 of glistening cups and plates. ^With the progress of his exercise
0490K11 Shyam was gradually mastering control of handling the mirror. ^He
0500K11 let go of the old father of the Mitters who was returning from the
0510K11 *4baazar with a servant following behind. ^He expertly threw the reflection
0520K11 on a non-Bengali boy sitting at the window of a speeding taxi and
0530K11 for a while held it steady in line with the movement of the vehicle.
0540K11 ^The boy looked back at him, shielded his eyes with his hand and finally
0550K11 departed, making faces at him. ^*Shyam began wearying of the game.
0560K11 ^He directed the reflection successively on a cow, an old woman
0570K11 and the heroine on a cinema poster. ^Just as he was withdrawing into
0580K11 the room to_ keep the mirror aside he heard the noise of a motorcycle
0590K11 approaching from the other side of the crossing. ^His muscles tautened
0600K11 at once. ^For a long time-- he did not know how long-- he nursed
0610K11 a grudge against motorcyclists. ^He quickly turned round and went
0620K11 to the window. ^The motorcycle was due to_ take a left turn any moment,
0630K11 it being a three-way crossing. ^*Shyam noticed a cow leisurely crossing
0640K11 the main avenue. ^The moment the vehicle and the black head of
0650K11 the driver swung into view the reflected light from Shyam*'s mirror
0660K11 flashed right on the face. ^The vehicle was taking the turn with a thundering
0670K11 roar: Shyam had a momentary glimpse of the man leaning to one
0680K11 side to_ avoid the flashing light. ^There was nothing else to_ be
0690K11 seen but the panicky leap of the cow. ^*Shyam dropped to the floor in
0700K11 a lightning motion and heard the loud metallic crash of the motorcycle
0710K11 on the asphalt. ^He crawled away from the window inside the room,
0720K11 threw the mirror on the bed and went out quickly, locking the door.
0730K11 $^*Shyam avoided the fast gathering crowd on the street. ^He left
0740K11 the neighbourhood behind. ^It was a beautifully sunny, though very
0750K11 cold, day. ^He sought and found an unfrequented, very cheap tea shop
0760K11 and took a seat in a corner. ^He could not recollect precisely why he
0770K11 cherished a grudge against motorcyclists. ^The effort at recollection
0780K11 made his head feel like an eddy of dirty water. ^He bent down and picked
0790K11 up a newspaper sprawling on the floor. ^He had not read one in
0800K11 many days. ^He pored over the newspaper in an attempt to_ divert his
0810K11 mind and found he had lighted on the sports page. ^A batsman had remained
0820K11 ninety-eight not out overnight. ^Poor fellow! ^He certainly
0830K11 couldn*'4t have slept a wink last night! ^Had he been out for fewer runs
0840K11 he*'1d have been able to_ sleep peacefully. ^Still a couple of runs...
0850K11 an awful nightmare of just a couple of runs... ^Just a matter of twice
0860K11 twenty-two yards. ^*Shyam had a whim to_ run a forty-four yard race
0870K11 at once for the sake of the man. ^It was quite likely, for this small
0880K11 thing for one to_ lose one*'s sleep, to_ lose one*'s appetite, to_ be
0890K11 cold to a woman. ^Poor fellow! without those two runs... ^Thinking
0900K11 of what would happen otherwise, Shyam*'s eyes wandered helplessly.
0910K11 ^Nothing except the hand of Providence, he concluded. ^No man could
0920K11 be positive that those two runs would come. ^The process of thought
0930K11 made him feel a bit restless. ^He threw down the paper, got up, paid and
0940K11 went out in the sunshine and air of the open road and walked aimlessly
0950K11 down one street after another. $^Later at noon Shyam gave himself
0960K11 a grand feast in his own honour. ^He chewed through the bones of meat
0970K11 with relish and licked his bowl of curd dry. ^He could not meet Subodh
0980K11 Mitra who had had his meal earlier, at nine, before leaving for
0990K11 office, but decided he would treat Mitra to a feast when they met
1000K11 at night. ^Today he was not content with a pinch of aniseed but had a
1010K11 roll of betel and a packet of very high priced cigarettes from the shop
1020K11 outside and got small change for half a *4rupee for distribution among
1030K11 beggars. ^He had no worries although it was nearing the end of the
1040K11 month: he still had about two and a half thousand *4rupees in the
1050K11 bank, and was thus able to_ convert any day of the month into the
1060K11 grand first day. ^He felt free on this thirty-first anniversary of his
1070K11 birth and hoped the day would end happily. ^But the very next moment
1080K11 he corrected himself: it was thoughts of the future as well those
1090K11 of the past that_ formed the biggest obstacles to personal freedom.
1100K11 ^He therefore, dismissed from his mind the incidents of the morning,
1110K11 ceased to_ think of the afternoon and concentrated on the current,
1120K11 beautiful noon with its fine sunshine and northerly breeze. $^It
1130K11 was near Christmas, the shops flaunted banners of red cloth with inscriptions
1140K11 of "Happy Christmas". ^The showcases displayed an array of
1150K11 assorted cakes, snowfields made of flaked cotton and figures of old
1160K11 Santa Claus. ^Right in front of him stood a bread van whose open rear
1170K11 door disclosed stacks of loaves piled from floor to ceiling. ^It
1180K11 appeared as if a great season of prosperity had come upon earth; perhaps
1190K11 the fields had yielded a big harvest and the farmers*' wives were
1200K11 big with child, and official announcements were going round the villages
1210K11 exhorting women to_ produce more children and the men to_ till
1220K11 the fallow ground and fill the land with good children-- for there weren*'4t
1230K11 enough people to_ enjoy the rising production in factories, fields
1240K11 and mines. ^Whilst whole schools of *3hilsa fish swim down to
1250K11 sea because we hadn*'4t enough people to_ consume them, milk was dripping
1260K11 from the swollen udders of our milch cows because their calves
1270K11 were incapable of sucking up the plentiful outflow, we let herds of
1280K11 buffaloes into our fields with their rich ripe harvest and we allowed
1290K11 honey to_ drip from overbrimming combs in the forests. ^Fill the
1300K11 land with people, mothers! ^Beget good children, fathers! ^*Shyam, replete
1310K11 with good food and smiling softly, was ambling in the wholesome
1320K11 sunshine of winter without any thought of a face from the past or anything
1330K11 of the future. ^He felt very contented and mollified. ^A beggar*'s
1340K11 brat had crawled out of its tenement of rags behind the postbox
1350K11 into the middle of the pavement. ^*Shyam lightly vaulted over the child.
1360K11 ^He was startled when a street hawker cried at him, "Vests!" in a
1370K11 grave, unhurried voice, and quickly went past him. ^It almost brought
1380K11 the past to his mind. ^He took the first turn ahead into a nearby
1390K11 deserted street. ^The sight of a weary man slowly pushing a handcart
1400K11 made him hastily close his eyes. ^And instantly he saw visions of
1410K11 shops running in a row, of honest shopmen sitting with guiltless eyes,
1420K11 of beautiful, tastefully draped young women walking the streets,
1430K11 of happy, fair children toddling, of unavaricious, courteous and healthy
1440K11 young men hurrying to their business and of able-bodied and wise
1450K11 old men with smiling eyes spending happy days of retirement sitting on
1460K11 verandahs and balconies. ^From every side blared an unspoken advertisement--
1470K11 keep on living, your life is valuable to us. $^*Shyam*'s right
1480K11 foot sank unawares up to the heel in a pool collected around a street
1490K11 hydrant. ^He opened his eyes and smiled. ^He was feeling a bit tired.
1500K11 ^The unaccustomed heavy meal was a load on his belly. ^Yet he had
1510K11 no wish to_ return home. ^Walking on, he turned into the main road again.
1520K11 ^Not a bad idea to_ go to Chowringhee, which was the most splendid
1530K11 on Christmas Eve. ^At the bus stop there were several whimpering
1540K11 beggars of all ages, a lady with dark glasses waiting for a bus with
1550K11 averted face and a handkerchief to her mouth and a pair of youngsters
1560K11 in terylene leaning back on the railing. ^The bus arrived. ^*Shyam
1570K11 let himself drift into the slight melee of passengers alighting
1580K11 and boarding and, just a moment before grasping the door handle, collected
1590K11 in his fist all the loose coins in his pocket and threw them
1600K11 on the road. ^For a moment the jingle of the coins drowned all
1610K11 other noises in the street. ^It was so loud that it startled everyone about
1620K11 and many people forgot to_ get down or up in their surprise. ^Smothering
1630K11 a smile, Shyam noticed an old man on the footboard letting go of
1640K11 the door handle, tottering and slapping his pockets in grave suspicion.
1650K11 ^Coins!*#
        **[no. of words = 02005**]

        **[txt. k12**]
0010K12 **<*3*4KAADU*0**> $*3^AT NIGHT,*0 after everybody had eaten, Kitti*'s
0020K12 uncle wore his *4jirki (special noisy) slippers, took his flashlight,
0030K12 and went out as usual. ^*Kitti opened his cupboard, anxious to_
0040K12 burn all the crackers at once. ^*Kamalamma opening the door of the
0050K12 *4kirumane (inner room) called, "^*Kitti, come here." ^She filled
0060K12 his pockets with sugarsweets and whispered, "^Come with me now. ^*I*'3ll
0070K12 show you something." ^Quite excited, Kitti forgot the crackers,
0080K12 and biting the sugar-sticks followed his aunt. $^As they came out
0090K12 of the back door Lompi was waiting with a lantern. ^Before Kitti could
0100K12 ask where, he heard his aunt saying, "^To Hanumantaraya*'s temple";
0110K12 he was frightened. "let*'3s not go there, *4Atte. ^There are
0120K12 snakes and devils there at this time, it seems"-- he looked pleadingly
0130K12 at her. ^Hugging him close, she coaxed, "^No Kitti. ^Don*'4t
0140K12 you see Lompi and I are with you? ^Don*'4t be afraid." ^As they came
0150K12 to the turning of the lane Lompi said. "^Everything is ready. ^*I
0160K12 have even given the chickens." ^*Kitti didn*'4t understand. $"^Truth!
0170K12 ^Look at this wretched dog still hanging on. ^It will keep barking
0180K12 there and be a nuisance," cursed Lompi and threw a stone chasing
0190K12 Monna away. ^*Lompi was striding along out in front with his lantern.
0200K12 ^As the long shadows of the coconut trees seemed to_ be following
0210K12 him, Kitti was scared; he clung to his aunt*'s legs and walked.
0220K12 ^Unnoticed, Monna had gone ahead. ^As they approached the bamboo
0230K12 clump behind the temple, Kitti was terrified and wanted to_ scream.
0240K12 ^Even when his aunt reassured him-- "^Don*'4t be frightened,
0250K12 Kitti"-- and drew him close, he was trembling. $^A fearful clay image
0260K12 in the light of a big clay lamp-- tongue hanging out as if trying to_
0270K12 vomit blood. ^Small pandal of green leaves. ^In front of the image a
0280K12 heap of red rice-- coconut smeared with *4kumkum-- a glinting knife-- a
0290K12 dark man, semi-naked; his forehead daubed with *4kumkum-- Kitti shut
0300K12 his eyes, horrified. ^It was the same person he had seen while returning
0310K12 that_ evening with the flowers. $^He remembered what Silla
0320K12 had told him. ^He started sobbing. ^Not till he found himself covered
0330K12 in his aunt*'s *4sari did he dare open his eyes. ^The magic-man chanting
0340K12 continuously, signalling to Lompi to_ hold the chicken, pressed
0350K12 the knife once on his eyes, severed the chicken*'s neck, and poured
0360K12 the blood on the hanging tongue of the image. ^As he broke the coconut
0370K12 at one stroke, and intoned loudly, Kitti shrank further into his
0380K12 aunt*'s *4sari. ^His thighs felt warm for a moment-- and then wet. "^*Kitti:
0390K12 how scared you are! ^You have piddled"-- Kamalamma helped him up.
0400K12 $^As they were preparing to_ leave, the sorcerer said, "*4Amma, I
0410K12 have laid a proper spell. ^Your man can never again approach that_ woman."
0420K12 ^He tied up the chicken, the fruit and the coconut in a bundle.
0430K12 ^*Kamalamma took out a *4rupee from her *(sari-folds*) and gave it to him.
0440K12 ^As they reached a bypath the sorcerer parted from them. ^*Monna went
0450K12 after him, and then ran back to them. $^*Kitti felt his pockets
0460K12 gingerly. ^And when his aunt asked him if he was frightened, he said
0470K12 "^Yes", biting at his sugar-sticks. ^But when Lompi sniggered, Kitti
0480K12 was angry and cursed him silently. ^When they reached home, Silla
0490K12 was snoring wrapt up in his mat. ^Saying something to Lompi, Kamalamma
0500K12 looked at her husband*'s room and found it still closed. ^Washing
0510K12 her hands and feet, she lit a lamp in front of her pictures of the
0520K12 household gods, and bowed. ^*Monna was barking outside. $*<*3CHAPTER
0530K12 TWO*0*> $*3^IT WAS*0 early dawn when his aunt woke Kitti, reminding
0540K12 him of the festival. ^He bustled to his feet, though still sleepy
0550K12 as his aunt took him to the bathing room for a bath. ^He felt unusually
0560K12 shy when she took off his clothes. ^She poured water on his head,
0570K12 scrubbed him with *4sikai (soapnut powder) asking him to_ keep
0580K12 his eyes shut, poured water again, and rubbed him dry. ^He blinked his
0590K12 eyes open-- and felt very relaxed. ^As she dressed him in his *4khaki
0600K12 shorts and blue shirt (specially bought for the festival, and touched
0610K12 his cheek with a dot of the soot from the cauldron to_ ward off the evil
0620K12 eye, he thought she was lovely-- lovelier than his mother. ^Herself
0630K12 undressing, preparing to_ bathe, Kamalamma said, "^Go, Kitti, keep
0640K12 threading flowers in the verandah; i*'3ll come soon." $^*Kitti sat
0650K12 to_ work among the red and gold flower heaps. ^He was still feeling
0660KA2 drowsy as he picked up one by one, red flowers, after pushing the heaps
0670K12 away. ^Sleep fled, as he saw his uncle come out of his room yawning
0680K12 and stretching, and order the servants about in a loud voice. ^He
0690K12 was somehow scared to_ look at his uncle standing there-- like a hill.
0700KI2 ^Even yesterday he had felt scared when uncle called him to_ buy him
0710K12 crackers. ^It was always so. ^As he sat still, burrowing his eyes into
0720K12 the flower heaps, Kitti couldn*'4t quite understand why he was
0730K12 so scared. $^He thought it was the same with aunt also-- she hardly spoke
0740K12 when uncle was around. ^How often hadn*'4t he thrashed her for trivial
0750K12 things? ^*Kitti was wild... Chandregowda got down the verandah
0760K12 steps and wearing his *4jirki (noisy) slippers, started out towards
0770K12 the village pond. ^*Kitti saw Lompi and Silla working intensely
0780K12 with their breaths held, till the thunderous and frightening footfalls
0790K12 of uncle died away. ^*Kitti resumed threading the flowers when Lompi
0800K12 chivvied the bullocks. $^Finding that his aunt broke into sobs whenever
0810K12 he asked her where uncle went out at night, Kitti had given up
0820K12 asking her. ^Sometimes he had even seen aunt weeping through the night,--
0830K12 as he thought of it he felt like crying himself. ^Uncle was very
0840K12 wicked. ^*Kitti remembered everything-- from the moment of his coming
0850K12 here. $^Uncle came out of his bath, worshipped the bullocks, and sat
0860K12 to_ eat *4kadubu (sweet made out of flour and coconut) in the verandah.
0870K12 ^*Silla and Lompi stood talking in low tones in the cattleshed.
0880K12 ^Aunt gave *4kadubu to them also. ^Uncle untied the bullocks, and
0890K12 led them off himself to the *4kavalu (grazing field). ^*Lompi followed.
0900K12 ^*Kitti watched his aunt coming out from behind the door and stand
0910K12 on the edge of the verandah, gazing after the figure of uncle disappearing
0920K12 beyond the field. ^Her eyes were moist and tears dropped down.
0930K12 ^*Kitti was disturbed and went and tugged at her *4sari. ^She continued
0940K12 to_ gaze at uncle. ^He disappeared beyond eye sight, with the bullock.
0950K12 $"^Why do you cry *4Atte?" $"^No, why should I cry, Kitti?"--
0960K12 aunt wiped her eyes with her *4sari and walked in. $^Memories-- $^Uncle
0970K12 who nagged fiercely on any small matter-- aunt whose eyes filled with
0980K12 tears as soon as uncle left home-- how he wiped her eyes with his shirt
0990K12 hem: "*4^Atte, don*'4t cry, I*'3ll cry if you cry"-- and she would
1000K12 stop crying then. ^But today-- uncle didn*'4t scold or beat. ^In fact,
1010K12 he smiled and ate *4kadubu before he left. ^Even then why was
1020K12 aunt like this? ^*Kitti didn*'4t understand. ^Couldn*'4t understand
1030K12 why uncle, who was such a good man when he bought him sweets (as Kitti
1040K12 passed by Hosur Shetty*'s shop where uncle played cards, or Basakka*'s
1050K12 verandah, where uncle sat gossiping with Puttachari and Devanna)
1060K12 became such a bad man when he scolded and thrashed aunt. $^He remembered
1070K12 uncle*'s blood-red eyes when a few days ago he beat aunt. ^And
1080K12 where did he go every night? ^Aunt would break down if he even as
1090K12 much as mentioned it. ^And Lompi had always the same answer "^Why are
1100K12 you bothered with all that_? ^Children shouldn*'4t talk about such
1110K12 matters." ^And Kitti used to_ feel furious. $^When he went back into
1120K12 the kitchen to_ finish eating a half-eaten *4kadubu, aunt said, "^*Kitti,
1130K12 you shouldn*'4t tell anyone about our going out last night."
1140K12 ^And he asked why. ^He was anxious to_ tell Silla. ^*Silla was
1141K12 only a little
1150K12 older than him, and was very vain about it. "^*I have roamed the
1160K12 whole forest and seen the pups of the tiger, and once I saw a python
1170K12 wound round a mango tree. ^And it was I who drove out the fierce
1180K12 stag from our scrub-land...." as he listened to Silla describing
1190K12 things seen and unseen, Kitti felt envious, disappointed that he hadn*'4t
1200K12 seen all that_ or done anything. ^*Silla had often frightened
1210K12 him about the devils near Hanumanta*'s temple. ^Now that he had been
1220K12 there the previous night and found nothing, Kitti had looked forward
1230K12 to snubbing Silla. $^Not understanding why aunt forbade him to_
1240K12 talk about the previous night*'s outing, he asked her why. $"^You
1250K12 won*'4t understand all that_, Kitti. ^Remember, even if you mention
1260K12 it to anybody, I*'3ll die." $"^*I won*'4t tell anyone, *4Atte."
1270K12 ^And he gazed at her face. ^As she sat in front of the kitchen fire,
1280K12 he could see the flames in her eyes. $*3^*Kitti*0 was still in a
1290K12 festive mood when he got up the next morning, reluctant to_ go to school.
1300K12 ^Trying to_ find some excuse for not going, without washing his
1310K12 face he sat with a book pretending to_ read. ^*4chawadimane (house
1320K12 near the village temple) Nagi started for school and approached
1330K12 their house. ^*Kitti was in trouble. ^Didn*'4t know what to_ do.
1340K12 ^Meanwhile uncle said, "^It*'1s late, hurry up, Kitti." (this
1350K12 was so everyday. ^*Kitti would start only after Nagi came on her way
1360K12 to school.) $^Helpless, he washed his face, ate in haste, and started.
1370K12 ^Aunt filled his pockets with the remaining sugar sweets. ^*Kitti
1380K12 opened, once more, his cupboard bursting with things and took out carefully
1390K12 his matchbox from under the pile. ^He had forgotten his beetle
1400K12 in the bustle of the past two days. ^The shining green beetle stayed
1410K12 bunched up, even when he had it flat on his palm. ^Deciding it
1420K12 was dead, he carried it to_ throw it away. ^Stared angrily at Nagi
1430K12 standing near the bed. $^Uncle again: "^Isn*'4t it late, Kitti?"
1440K12 ^*Kitti stared again at Nagi, and slinging his worn out school bag
1450K12 on to his shoulders and clenching his teeth in fury, started. $^When
1460K12 the school got over in the evening it was cloudy. ^A little thunder.
1470K12 ^Since it looked like rain, the Gowalli boys started running even
1480K12 as they were crossing the *4neem tree near the Hosur common. ^*Kitti
1490K12 said: "^Let*'3s also run, Nagi." ^*Nagi said yes and started running
1500K12 with him. ^As she was running, her foot got caught in her
1510K12 long skirt and she fell and grazed her knee. ^*Kitti put some spittle
1520K12 on it. "let*'3s run slowly." ^Thick clouds were gathering overhead.
1530K12 ^It seemed to_ be already dusk. $^Overhead thick clouds were piling
1540K12 up. ^They were startled when it thundered loudly. ^Coming nearer the
1550K12 Hanumanta temple it began to_ drizzle. ^The dark of the evening
1560K12 was closing in. ^*Kitti suddenly remembered the *4kare fruit which he had
1570K12 left to_ ripen under the *4kare bush-- "^They will have ripened nicely,
1580K12 Kitti?" ^Seeing the rain drops, Kitti said, "^We*'3ll take them
1590K12 tomorrow, Nagi. ^It*'1s starting to_ rain now." "^If they get
1591K12 washed away?"
1600K12 ^*Kitti remembered that this had happened once before and went behind
1610K12 the temple. ^He couldn*'4t quickly make out under which bush the
1620K12 fruits lay. $^While searching he saw the *4lakki plants near the stream
1630K12 shaking. ^Thinking that it was a rabbit or something he whispered
1640K12 to Nagi to_ be quiet, and getting down into the sandy stream bed
1650K12 bent to_ see. ^*Nagi watched Kitti who seemed to_ be himself watching
1660K12 something intently and silently. $^*Kitti thought it must
1670K12 be a devil. ^His hair stood on end-- two days ago that_ magic-man had
1680K12 laid his spell somewhere here. ^He stared intently. ^He saw figures
1690K12 lying down. ^Unable to_ stand the suspense, Nagi yelled out, "^What
1700K12 is it, Kitti?" ^The reclining figures sprang up adjusting their clothes.
1710K12 ^And when Kitti, jumping away from there ran dragging Nagi along
1720K12 ("*4^Thu! *4^Issi!") she asked puzzled, "^What is it Kitti?"*#**[no.
        of words = 02001**]

        **[txt. k13**]
0010K13 **<*3THE VOID*0**> $*3^HAVE*0 you ever seen a band of multicoloured
0020K13 archers aiming their arrows at the same mark with inclined backs
0030K13 or with heads a bit bent down? a quiver of colourful arrows-- red, blue,
0040K13 green, yellow, orange or golden. ^Or, could it be a flock of multi-coloured
0050K13 birds picking up grains from the same pot? $^There is
0060K13 a similar slanting posture of an archer in their profiles, a similar
0070K13 chirping of birds in their voice. ^Have they wrapped themselves
0080K13 in colours-- variegated colours-- red, blue, green, yellow, orange
0090K13 and golden? ^And with so many decorations on them of flowers, dots
0100K13 and stripes of various designs and fashions. $^It is really a
0110K13 wonder that there are so many colours and designs in this world
0120K13 and an equal number of customers for them. ^Two girls are seldom seen
0130K13 wearing dresses of the same colour. ^Among a gathering of, say,
0140K13 a hundred girls, no one will resemble another in dress because
0150K13 everybody tries to_ find out that_ particular colour which has
0160K13 never been worn by anybody else. ^Is it likely that they try to_ compensate
0170K13 the vacuum of their inner being by filling it up with superficial
0180K13 elements? ^Otherwise why should there be so much fuss about
0190K13 colours and decorations? $^Just observe these colourful figures. ^There
0200K13 is no brightness in their eyes, no loveliness on their lips-- only
0210K13 a touch of frustration and a greyish pallor. ^The pot from which
0220K13 all these colourful birds had been picking grains was a familiar
0230K13 magazine and the birds were the six friends-- Bela, Swagata, Chandrakala,
0240K13 Runu, Mintu and Swapna. ^They only knew what mystery
0250K13 and charm lay hidden in that_ yellowish paper printed in small, faded
0260K13 out, indistinct types. $*3^THE*0 other girls in their
0270K13 college criticise them, taunt them, call them "six seasons",
0280K13 "six sirens" and by many other names because these six girls are the
0290K13 naughtiest in the whole college-- disobedient, illmannerly and impolite.
0300K13 ^They provoke the Students*' union with stormy disputes and arguments
0310K13 and often criticise even the professors. ^It was they who
0320K13 compelled \0Prof. \0Mrs. Chakravarty to_ beg pardon for having
0330K13 scolded them for their indecent and scanty dress. ^The authorities of
0340K13 this ladies*' college are well known for their traditional outlook;
0350K13 they buy books with their eyes and ears open and feel proud of
0360K13 maintaining the sanctity of the college library by getting books
0370K13 of the honest and conservative writers. $^But they are penny-wise pound-foolish,
0380K13 the minute hole in the iron wall is missed from their views.
0390K13 ^While they try to_ keep the college at a safe distance from the
0400K13 infection of modernity, the plague spot escapes their sharp eyes.
0410K13 ^The contemporary magazines go uncensored and enter the Reading
0420K13 Room without any obstruction. ^The authorities are contended with
0430K13 the idea of safety whereas the living bombs
0440K13 are being supplied by the innocent-looking publishers. $^The magazine
0450K13 the six friends had been trying to_ devour so greedily is a popular
0460K13 one, so there is no question of prohibiting its circulation in
0470K13 the college library. ^*Mintu pinched the rib of Swapna and
0480K13 exclaimed enthusiastically: "^What language! ^Wish I might now
0490K13 die in peace!" ^*Runu finished the whole page in breathless excitement,
0500K13 then said, "^Can*'4t understand how the writer could learn
0510K13 such a slang jargon! ^And remember he is regarded as an epitome of culture.
0520K13 ^Not only that_ this gentleman is respected as one of the wisest
0530K13 scholars of Bengal and is a much experienced traveller." $"^*God
0540K13 knows," Chandrakala turns over her palm, "I also feel in the same
0550K13 way. ^Whence could he learn these nasty things?" $*3^RUNU*0 contributes
0560K13 further, "^*I had an old great grandmother-- indecent number one.
0570K13 ^She could never restrain her tongue, used to_ utter these slang
0580K13 terms. ^Perhaps this writer also had such a grand-mother." $"^Oh no,
0590K13 rather this writer could be the father of such an old grand-mother"
0600K13 -- Bela remerked disparagingly. $"^But still you find interest in
0610K13 reading his novels". ^The girls all burst into a devilish laughter
0620K13 and turned over the pages. "^Let us go back to the age of Methuselah
0630K13 and forget about the decorum of language"-- one of them said laughingly.
0640K13 ^*Mintu gave a strong slap on her neighbour*'s back and remarked
0650K13 mischievously "^These magazines are kept away from our reach
0660K13 to_ protect our purity and innocence. ^What an irony!" $"^Is it?
0670K13 ^How strange! ^The same method is adopted in our home also"-- Runu
0680K13 convulsed with laughter. $"^Now, don*'4t remind me of home, it
0690K13 infuriates me. ^They have sent us to the college and expect we would
0700K13 remain like delicate flower buds under severe restriction and control."
0710K13 ^*Mintu twisted her lips in a bitter laugh. "^My mother is
0720K13 always apprehending the danger of my falling in love. ^*I have to_
0730K13 face cross-examination if I am a bit late in the evening." $^*Bela
0740K13 raised her voice in anger. "^Why can*'4t you realise there is only
0750K13 one preventive to_ stop this cross-examination? ^Just shout on
0760K13 their very face and declare-- 'yes, I am free to_ do what I feel best,
0770K13 I do have a lover and spent the whole evening with him'-- "^Poison!
0780K13 ^The whole atmosphere of my home is vitiated" Mintu curved her
0790K13 mouth in disgust. $*3^*RUNU*0 continued in a sour voice: "^The same
0800K13 is the case at home. ^They think to_ love someone is to_ go to hell,
0810K13 because to them all love is illicit, the expression of carnal desire."
0820K13 $^*Bela released a sigh and said "^Yet there are lenient parents
0830K13 as well. ^Those 'goody goody' girls who are the objects of pride
0840K13 in our college, who do not have the capacity to_ retort to the teachers,
0850K13 put on civilized dress with three-quarter sleeves, and prepare lessons
0860K13 diligently at the time of examinations-- I don*'4t think they
0870K13 have got homes like us." $^*Runu remarked laughingly, addressing Bela,
0880K13 "^But why do you worry, Bela? ^You are an honourable 'guest' at
0890K13 your sister*'s place, entirely free to_ come and go as you please,
0900K13 attend your music class, and come to the college and chat to your
0910K13 heart*'s content--" $"^Hm, apparently it seems so" Bela replied
0920K13 with a sigh, "but do you know even a toad*'s hole can be the dwelling
0930K13 place of a snake?" $"^*I see, then you mean you are already
0940K13 bitten by a snake?" $"^Do you ever notice how the other girls in our
0950K13 class look at us? ^As if we are the dirtiest worms of hell." $"^Not
0960K13 only they, the teachers also do the same. ^Only because they
0970K13 are afraid of us, are we not driven away from the college." $"^*God
0980K13 forbid, if it really happens what would become of us! ^After all
0990K13 we are girls, we cannot gossip on the verandah of our neighbours like
1000K13 the wicked *4mastans." $"^Aha, therein lies our sorrow. ^The boys
1010K13 have eternal claim over the balconies. ^It is really a crime to_ be
1020K13 born a girl in Bengal." $"*3^WHY*0 do you say in Bengal? ^This is
1030K13 true about the whole of our traditional India. ^The condition of
1040K13 the girls is the same everywhere." $"^Oh, no, it is not proper to_
1050K13 say so. ^You have all forgotten what our Sanskrit professor had been
1060K13 saying in her lecture on the emancipation and advancement of the
1070K13 Indian women. ^She started with Gargi, Maitrayee, Khana and
1080K13 Lilabati of two thousand years back and swooped down straight on
1090K13 this modern age!" $"^We know, we know *4baba, she need not teach
1100K13 us all these. ^But just tell me what real advancement is achieved by
1110K13 the females of our country despite all these precepts?" $"^Of
1120K13 course, there are improvements in the outside world, legal rights have
1130K13 been granted at various levels." ^The girls went on discussing
1140K13 the problem of women*'s rights. $"^Yes, that_ is quite clear. ^But
1150K13 the point is, whenever they eulogise on the progress of the Indian
1160K13 women, they can show no other example beyond Gargi, Maitrayee,
1170K13 Khana and Lilabati who lived two thousand years back. ^Those famous
1180K13 words of Maitrayee pronounced in the olden times to her bigamous
1190K13 husband the thing that_ does not bring me heavenly ambrosia, has
1200K13 no value for me,-- we are tired of hearing them over and over again.
1210K13 ^Why don*'4t the pulpit lecturers show any other example from
1220K13 the middle periods? ^Because there is only vacuity, no progress,
1230K13 no attainment for the women." $"*3^AND*0 if there is some progress
1240K13 nobody, cares to_ mention it. ^Only if one can achieve fame in
1250K13 this conservative and backward country her name is branded eternally
1260K13 in gold. ^She is paid respect again and again as symbol of idealism
1270K13 always to_ be placed on a pedestal worship. ^Damn your Indian
1280K13 women. ^Century after century have **[sic**] elapsed and not a single
1290K13 woman has emerged who has the courage to_ repeat 'what would I
1300K13 do with the worldly possessions that_ do not give me heavenly
1310K13 nectar? ^Fie, fie." $"^Hear, hear, Chandrakala is dealing with the
1320K13 highest metaphysical questions. ^But one thing you forget dear, the
1330K13 girls who are not considered even human beings, how could they even
1340K13 dream about their claim over ambrosia? ^Do the animals or birds
1350K13 ever think of heavenly blessing? ^Let go all these 'tall talks' about
1360K13 sublimity. ^When I was a little girl I used to_ have the feeling
1370K13 these writers and poets were the direct ancestors of God but this
1380K13 idealism began to_ evaporate as I grew up until it died down
1390K13 completely. ^Now it is quite clear to me that these writers are nothing
1400K13 but shrewd businessmen, selfish shop-keepers out in the world
1410K13 of commercialism with their eyes fixed on material gains. ^Otherwise
1420K13 they could not have written such slang stories." $"^Oh, no no,
1430K13 don*'4t call it business. ^Rather say, 'an ardent search for the naked
1440K13 truth of life'." $^The girls read the story in between their conversation
1450K13 and then suddenly became silent. ^After a pause Mintu opened
1460K13 her mouth-- "^Another thing torments me. ^The brilliant boys, they
1470K13 say, are going astray only because of their affliction of the age,
1480K13 as if they are the only victims of the generation gap. ^As a reaction
1490K13 their minds are polluted, hence as an outburst of their mental agony
1500K13 they use dirty language, do base deeds and as a compensation
1510K13 they gain all the sympathy of the writers!" $*3^*Chandrakala*0 remarked
1520K13 "^Rightly said, that_ day I went to a picture the same attitude
1530K13 was reflected in the story. ^The good natured boys are transformed
1540K13 into vagabonds due to the degeneration of the times." $"^And the
1550K13 girls-- they have no misery, no agony, they are not passing through the
1560K13 transitional age! ^But who is going to_ feel for us? ^Where do we
1570K13 find a single line of sympathy for us from these writers? ^No, not
1580K13 for the unfortunate girls." $"^Hm, that_ is what I was saying" Swagata
1590K13 added. "^The fact is that these modern writers who are in search
1600K13 for **[sic**] so called truth, they may achieve popularity by
1610K13 revealing the worthlessness of this unreal world, their mentality is
1620K13 still imprisoned in the darkness of ignorance of the ancient age.
1630K13 ^They do not have the little bit of broadness to_ consider the females
1640K13 as 'human beings'-- they are only women. ^Otherwise for once at
1650K13 least they could have voiced the agony of the girls of the persent age.
1660K13 ^And even when they do feel about our problems they consider only
1670K13 our sufferings in relation to love or torture by the husbands. ^As
1680K13 if we don*'4t have anything more important in our lives." $^*Chandrakala
1690K13 raised her voice "^Exactly. ^Isn*'4t it also true that this society,
1700K13 our homes, in fact the whole atmosphere are repulsive to us?
1710K13 ^Don*'4t we realize that_ hollowness of this insincere age? ^The hypocrisy,
1720K13 dishonesty and artificiality of the people? ^Nobody feels
1730K13 that we also have a sensitive mind which bears the torment of an
1740K13 imprisoned soul. ^Everyone is sympathetic with the sorrow for the
1750K13 darling boys. ^Sometimes there is a strong wish in me to_ burn
1760K13 the whole world with fire." ^*Bela supported her "^That_ is why we
1770K13 are regarded as subverted women, nobody tries to_ analyse our sorrow."
1780K13 $*3^*Swagata*0 said bitterly "^But the boys enjoy freedom at least.*#
        **[no. of words = 02008**]

        **[txt. k14**]
0010K14 **<*3Before it happened*0**>
0020K14 $^*I wish to_ tell you about that_ thing. ^It is no great event,
0030K14 though. ^But you know, I have hardly any interest in events,
0040K14 especially ordinary ones. ^Is*'4t it ridiculous that life should
0050K14 be spent in an ordinary way, in a very ordinary way, as if it is just
0060K14 a prelude to death? ^You too might be thinking that I*'3m a real eccentric
0070K14 to_ have plunged into a discourse without a preface or introduction.
0080K14 ^Perhaps you have been waiting here for a long time.
0090K14 $^*I have been watching you from a distance. ^There is an ugly rogue
0100K14 shadowing me, and I haven*'4t the least idea about his designs.
0110K14 ^Of course, I have often told myself that certain actions have no obvious
0120K14 reasons. ^But is it possible that you don*'4t bother to_ know
0130K14 the reasons if you are shadowed by a singularly ugly man?
0140K14 $^Not that I am afraid of him. ^Even in the usual course, if someone
0150K14 walking parallel to you keeps pace with you for a time, and looks at
0160K14 you pointedly, you*'3ll have the feeling of being haunted. ^You*'3ll
0170K14 feel that a plot was being hatched against you. ^What greater fear
0180K14 is there than the feeling of infringement upon your freedom? ^That_
0190K14 fellow might be shadowing me because he wants to_ pry into the most personal
0200K14 and secret moments of my life. ^*I am always terribly frightened
0210K14 at this idea. $^Oh, you*'3ve begun to_ laugh. ^All this to you
0220K14 is meaningless talk. ^While I was coming here I glanced back
0230K14 to_ see what the fellow was doing, and found that he too had just turned
0240K14 his head back. ^Whenever he finds me looking at him, he pretends
0250K14 as if he has nothing to_ do with me. $^Fear has haunted me
0260K14 for the past few days both while I was awake and asleep. ^*I have
0270K14 had headaches, and at times felt a slight pounding on my temples.
0280K14 ^Then I called on a physician; he advised me to_ become friends with a
0290K14 wrestler. ^He said that I was immune to any reasoning, and only a
0300K14 good beating would cure me. ^Or, alternatively, I should develop
0310K14 an interest in murder tales so that the eeriness of the events described
0320K14 in them might cathartically shock me out of my malaise. $^Since
0330K14 then I haven*'4t missed an occasion to_ mix in a crowd or stand next to
0340K14 a policeman. ^Only the other day, in order to_ give me a "shock"
0350K14 treatment, a friend of mine brutally killed two of his pet white rats
0360K14 right in front of me. ^*I stand transfixed in horror. ^*I saw
0370K14 the thin, terrible line between life and death. ^It was wrong
0380K14 on the part of my friend to_ have killed the rats. ^He ought not to_
0390K14 have done that. ^It is a vicious deed; we have no right to_ kill
0400K14 others in order to_ have a "taste" of death. ^What effect such grisly
0410K14 deeds have on our lives is hard to_ guess. ^For all I know, I
0420K14 might recover even without such "treatment". $^Of late, the same
0430K14 friend has been doing some very strange, cruel things, weird enough
0440K14 to_ startle anyone. ^*I have a feeling that he is a barbarian born
0450K14 into this century by mistake. ^Only recently he cut off all the legs
0460K14 of a dog just to_ know what difference it would make in the dog*'s daily
0470K14 life. ^His beautiful wife has often told me how afraid she is
0480K14 of her husband. ^She fears that one day he might drive her away from
0490K14 her own children. ^This friend of mine used to_ call his wife a
0500K14 foolish woman. ^He doesn*'4t any longer refer to her even in those terms.
0510K14 ^He thinks it a waste of energy to_ talk about wives. ^*I fail
0520K14 to_ understand why he treats her so, for she is beautiful. ^*I
0530K14 don*'4t know why I am interested in beauty. ^*I saw a beautiful young
0540K14 girl in a park recently seated among little babies. ^Actually
0550K14 I was looking at the bench there, but when I saw the girl*'s face,
0560K14 I fixed my gaze on her. ^The girl was very pretty and everyone near
0570K14 turned to_ look at her. ^She certainly received her beauty*'s worth.
0580K14 ^*I thought: Foolish to_ imagine that one of these men is in love
0590K14 with her. ^Is it possible to_ love in this fast-moving age,
0600K14 I would like to_ ask you. ^Leave it there. ^The girl was fixedly
0610K14 staring at me, though that_ is no new experience for me. ^You won*'4t
0620K14 believe me if I said that the girl looked beautiful because her nose
0630K14 was so thin and her nostrils so narrow that even the tip of my "ballpen"
0640K14 couldn*'4t be pushed in them. ^What would happen if I pushed
0650K14 my thumb inside her nostrils? ^The girl was lovely. ^You might say
0660K14 I*'3m being mischievous. ^But I am so engrossed in beauty that I can*'4t
0670K14 think in any other way. $^In this context I remember an
0680K14 old event. ^This perhaps is the result of our meeting. ^*I shouldn*'4t
0690K14 be remembering it though, for I am not much interested in my
0700K14 past. ^Everything belonging to the past is so meaningless to me
0710K14 that I wonder what I have to_ do with it. ^One might explain recollections
0720K14 from the past in terms of purposelessness, but then, one must
0730K14 be prepared to_ put up with the terror consequent on purposelessness.
0740K14 ^*I view the recollection of this old event in the background of similiar
0750K14 recollections which enter into and form our present life. ^This
0760K14 is a recollection about a strange experience with a woman. ^If that_
0770K14 woman exists somewhere this day, I won*'4t be able to_ recognize her.
0780K14 ^She stood before me exactly as you stand now. ^It was down by
0790K14 the sea-shore. ^She was obviously waiting for someone to_ turn up.
0800K14 ^*I don*'4t like the idea of anyone waiting for another, but it was
0810K14 difficult to_ explain to her the futility of waiting. ^There was the sea
0820K14 before me, and it was my biggest challenge. ^The sea is unassailable.
0830K14 ^You can*'4t do a bit of harm to it. ^On the contrary, it
0840K14 can wipe us out of existence. ^It was a frightening thing and any
0850K14 way I spend my evenings along the sea-shore. ^The woman moved closer
0860K14 and asked, "Are you available?" $^Though I don*'4t remember it
0870K14 well, I feel that she decided to_ live with me because of the peculiar
0880K14 answer I gave her. ^*I can*'4t now remember whether the girl was
0890K14 pretty or ugly. ^We remained together for a long time, but it never
0900K14 occurred to me to_ ask where she came from or what her name was. ^How
0910K14 stupid it is to_ ask someone*'s name! ^It is like asking for a personal
0920K14 mark of identification. ^If someone asks my name, I feel as
0930K14 if someone is holding me by my throat or ripping open my shirt in the front
0940K14 to_ smell the sweat on my hairy chest. ^When that_ woman left me,
0950K14 I felt greatly relieved. $^The first day I met her I was in a
0960K14 terrible fear, and I continued in that_ state as long as she remained
0970K14 with me. ^When I bent over her in the usual position one day, I noticed
0980K14 a shadow on the wall. ^*I walked up to the wall in that_ darkness
0990K14 to_ see what it was of. ^It was like the shadow of someone bending
1000K14 over a woman. ^What*'1s it? ^What*'1s the matter?" ^She
1010K14 asked. ^*I explained to her my apprehensions. ^She laughed wildly
1020K14 and said, "It was your own shadow." ^*I should have belived
1030K14 her, but I didn*'4t. ^*I was terribly frightened, as was sure that
1040K14 the shadow was not mine. ^From then on, I changed my position
1050K14 and continued to_ observe the movements of the shadow. $^One day
1060K14 she suddenly parted from me leaving behind a number of her belongings.
1070K14 ^These things I gave away to the wife of a friend of mine. ^My
1080K14 friend*'s wife remarked that they spoke of the fine taste of the person
1090K14 who had them. ^*I wanted to_ tell her that they were not to my taste,
1100K14 but I don*'4t like to_ go about explaining things. ^Whenever I
1110K14 have a splitting pain in my temples, I feel that the shadow haunting
1120K14 me has shrouded itself in another shadow. ^During those moments,
1130K14 I can*'4t recollect the past. ^*I have yet to_ meet people who are
1140K14 fascinated by the past. ^There might be such people, of course.
1150K14 ^But there aren*'4t any among my friends. ^Even if someone
1160K14 is emotionally excited at times, he behaves more like a clown.
1170K14 $^Perhaps you too don*'4t think much about the past. ^But I am sure
1180K14 no one can get over the pressures of the past. ^Our present is in
1190K14 a way shaped by the past, and when we recollect the past we find it to_
1200K14 be no more than a kind of manifestation of the present. ^One can
1210K14 understand these things more easily at the personal level. ^You must
1220K14 have experienced events which especially affect the personal level.
1230K14 ^For instance, an executioner might be said to_ be performing a purely
1240K14 social function, but his act has a profound effect on the lives of the
1250K14 family members. ^The executioner*'s profession is a dirty one,
1260K14 but it still is a profession. ^In modern times his occuption has become
1270K14 suspect and the methods of execution have changed. ^Even if
1280K14 he discards the tricks of the trade, he would be no better in his personal
1290K14 life. $^*I think you turned your head that_ way because my talk
1300K14 had grown meaningless for you. ^Of course, your turning away
1310K14 has no effect on me anyway. ^Meaningful or meaningless, I believe
1320K14 in talking. ^A murderer commits a murder for no obvious reason
1330K14 than failure to_ find a reason for not committing a murder. ^It
1340K14 first occurs to him that he should commit a murder, not because he thinks
1350K14 he will get any pleasure out of it, but because murder is an act that_*'1s
1360K14 compulsive or attractive. ^We call him a murderer, but for him
1370K14 there is no way out other than doing the deed. ^Do you know who he murdered?
1380K14 ^He killed his own wife. ^When questioned by the police
1390K14 he admitted the crime, but said that there was no reason or motive behind
1400K14 it. ^Further, he demanded that he should be properly punished
1410K14 for the crime. ^His lawyer told him to_ lie to the court that his
1420K14 wife had a bad caracter, so that he might get a more lenient sentence,
1430K14 but he refused to_ do so saying that he wouldn*'4t be able to_ live a
1440K14 free life without his wife. ^Or was that_ a way of repenting?
1450K14 ^Perhaps repentance is the God-given gift for the weak and the reflective
1460K14 type of people. $^You may get the impression that the world
1470K14 we live in is a frightful one. ^It is true. ^Every new step
1480K14 in the realm of science sends a shock up my spine. ^Every
1490K14 piece of news I hear makes me think whether there is anything called
1500K14 extraordinary. ^What significance does this have for a society that_
1510K14 is economically backward and socially depraved? ^You think that I
1520K14 am suffering from some kind of neurosis. ^It would be a relief to_
1530K14 suffer so. ^But I have no such ailment. $^You may have by now forgotten
1540K14 the incident I referred to at the beginnig. ^But, then,
1550K14 it was no incident after all. ^It was no incident because it didn*'4t
1560K14 "incite" any thing or anybody. ^*I wanted to_ tell you about something,
1570K14 and without any obvious reason. ^Please look at my palm,
1580K14 as ordinary man would, and not as a palmist would. ^Surely you can
1590K14 feel that my hand has not dried up. $^You may say that it is not
1600K14 my hand that_ has dried up, but my flesh. ^All right, if you want it
1610K14 that way. ^But I am slowly dring up, and that_ man, that_ ugly
1620K14 fellow, is still chasing me. $^No, no. ^Don*'4t blame my
1630K14 friends or society.*#
        **[no. of words = 02002**]

        **[txt. k15**]
0001K15 **<*3The Aerial*0**>
0010K15 $^No, I won*'4t ask you who you are. ^*I*'3m not in a mood to_ ask
0020K15 anyone anything. ^*I*'3m not even in a mood to_ tell anyone anything.
0030K15 ^But you*'3re the one who came here and sat with me.... so sit.
0040K15 ^No, I don*'4t mind. ^Really... sit down if you like. ^You
0050K15 don*'4t need to_ ask. ^Oh you*'3re not alone? ^Those people
0060K15 over there. ^They*'3re with you? ^They*'3re looking over here.
0070K15 ^Don*'4t worry; they*'3ll wait for you. $^What did you say?
0080K15 ^They want to_ come over and sit down? \0^*O.K. call them; I don*'4t
0090K15 mind. ^But one thing: I really do think you*'3ve misunderstood
0100K15 me. ^*I sense it from the way you*'3re smiling. $^You*'3re taking
0110K15 me for some kind of broken-down lover in tattered clothes. ^No
0120K15 I*'3m not a mad lover.... not mad at all. ^*I have all my senses.
0130K15 $^You pointed to that_ grave. ^You want to_ know who*'1s buried
0140K15 there, you say? ^Yes, it*'1s Melody*'s tomb. ^A tomb doesn*'4t
0150K15 have to_ be for a dead body only; it can be for silence, or for
0160K15 unknowing, or sadness, or for fatigue, or for many things... $"^A
0170K15 pretty girl is like a melody...." $^Yes sir, you*'3re right.
0180K15 ^How can a melody die? ^Sometimes it*'1s so loud that it*'1s heard very
0190K15 clearly; other times it*'1s so soft that it can*'4t be heard at all.
0200K15 $^If you listen carefully, you might be able to_ hear it....
0210K15 but pay close attention. ^Maybe the wind won*'4t drown it out.
0220K15 ^What did you say? ^You don*4't hear anything?... well then, stop.
0230K15 .. I*'3ll do something about it.... $^Listen closely. ^You don*'4t
0240K15 hear anything even now? ^You*'3re smiling. ^You think I*'3m
0250K15 mad. ^Nothing*'1s mad here, mister... and I*'3m not drunk either.
0260K15 ^You*'3re wrong. $^But I would like a cigarette, if you
0270K15 don*'4t mind. ^Let me see if I have one somewhere. $^*I have one...
0280K15 if I had more I*'1d offer you one. ^But then you*'3re not alone,
0290K15 so one cigarette wouldn*'4t be enough for you. ^What*'1d **[sic**] you
0300K15 say? ^*I shouldn*'4t bother about you?... you don*'4t need a cigarette?
0310K15 ^Well, all right... I can*'4t do anything about getting you
0320K15 one right now. ^So I take it that you don*'4t want this last one?
0330K15 $...^Now, what exactly do you want to_ know. ^When intoxication is
0340K15 over, the first puff of a cigarette seems to_ be the best thing in
0350K15 the world. ^*I didn*'4t have a smoke all day. ^By talking to you,
0360K15 I*'1d feel that I*3'm not drunk... but I*3'm all right now.
0370K15 ^There*'1s no question of madness.... $^Melody? ^Well, listen
0380K15 carefully. ^You can hear the tune with your own ears. ^Who am I
0390K15 to_ say.... no, I didn*'4t play the melody. ^You*'3re right when
0400K15 you say that there always has to_ be some musician to_ play any melody.
0410K15 ^*I don*'4t deny it. ^*I was only saying that I*3'm not singing
0420K15 or playing this tune. $^What did you say? ^Who am I? ^*I*3'm
0430K15 nobody. ^*I*3'm just a feeling hanging in the air.... no, not
0440K15 even a feeling .... only a piece of wire... just an aerial. $^*I
0450K15 can*'4t interfere with any sound ever... and I can*'4t change the
0460K15 tempo, or the words. ^*I can*'4t interfere with anyone who has a song
0470K15 in his throat, or with a song that_ must be sung. ^All I can do
0480K15 is adjust the sound when someone can*'4t hear it; I can tune it in better.
0490K15 ^Yes, I can hold it in my hand and send it on. ^What more
0500K15 can an aerial do? $^What did you say? ^A man is, after all,
0510K15 a man? ^How can he change an instrument by putting his hand forward?
0520K15 ^Can he advise anyone to_ change the burden of the song? ^You*'3ve
0530K15 said something very naive and strange, mister. ^*I think you
0540K15 haven*'4t seen many human beings. ^If you have, they must be machines
0550K15 standing and giving orations in meetings. $^There are two types
0560K15 of people in this world. ^*I mean real people. ^*I'3m not talking
0570K15 about machines and the like. ^One kind is the lover; the other is the
0580K15 type who have themselves loved. ^Only two types. ^One type
0590K15 of human beings turn into instruments. ^Yes, mere instruments with
0600K15 wires that_ can be pressed and plucked and tuned to whatever key you like.
0610K15 ^You can get any *4raga **[foot note**] you want out of them.
0620K15 ^Yes, very happy and laughing tones... crying ones too... these
0630K15 people are the ones who love. ^*I*'3ve called them melodies. ^She
0640K15 was one of these. ^*I*3'll call them instruments instead. ^But
0650K15 when I saw her for the first time, she was so slim and beautiful that
0660K15 without thiking I found myself calling her "Melody." ^A vibration
0670K15 in her body like the wires of an instrument; I think that she wasn*4't
0680K15 meant to_ play upon her own instrument. ^*I mean, she could
0690K15 only become an instrument and she couldn*'4t be the hand that_ would pick
0700K15 out the tune on it... she couldn*'4t become the sound coming out of
0710K15 it. $^She was very beautiful... and foolish too. ^People who love
0720K15 generally are very foolish. ^They hand over the key to their treasury
0730K15 to some stranger and then because he might spend a single small coin
0740K15 from it, they look about to_ give the key to someone else. ^They never
0750K15 take their own wealth as wealth; this is the secret of their beauty....
0760K15 this foolishness of theirs makes others love them. $^The other
0770K15 type of human beings I mentioned a minute ago are the ones who
0780K15 make themselves loved. ^They are the emperors of other people*'s riches.
0790K15 ^If I didn*'4t want to_ say this in such a delicate way, I
0800K15 could have simply told the bitter truth: these people are real snakes.
0810K15 ^Snakes sitting upon the treasury. ^They don*'4t spend the riches
0820K15 of anyone*'s mind or body, and they don*'4t let others do it either.
0830K15 ^It*'1s the truth, and a very bitter one, I agree. ^You
0840K15 may be shocked by this, so let me put it a different way. ^Yes sir,
0850K15 these other types of individuals are the hands which play tunes upon
0860K15 the instruments. ^Whenever they like, they dust the instruments,
0870K15 take them in their hands and tune them. ^Then they touch them delicately
0880K15 with their fingers and get sweet, sweet notes out of them. ^And
0890K15 if they like, they don*'4t need to_ play happy tunes, but draw out
0900K15 tragic notes... yes, if they like, they don*'4t even have to_ look
0910K15 at those instruments for years. ^They just keep them in some dusty
0920K15 corner and forget them. ^Well, the poor instrument... it lies like
0930K15 a corpse. ^But there*'1s a difference between an ordinary corpse and
0940K15 this instrument. ^One may cry and weep, but the ordinary corpse
0950K15 doesn*'4t come back to life. ^But this corpse is very unlucky; unlucky
0960K15 because it can*'4t die only once. ^It has to_ die again and again.
0970K15 ^Even after the neglect of days, months or even years, if the
0980K15 owner just touches it, calls it with kindness, this corpse comes back
0990K15 to life.... $^Now you must have understood what I mean when I mentioned
1000K15 two types of persons. ^It*'1s a different matter that these persons
1010K15 sometimes change their roles or fate changes their roles... what did
1020K15 yoy say? ^*I? ^*I*'3m not either of these types. I wasn*'4t
1030K15 meant to_ be an instrument nor even a hand to_ touch it. ^What about
1040K15 you and me? ^We*'3re all human beings, just like so many machines:
1050K15 you, who are listening at your leisure to the story of someone*'s
1060K15 past, and I who am just an aerial to_ adjust and amplify someone*'s
1070K15 sound.... I*'3m right when I say that you and I are different
1080K15 types of machines, like men... you leisurely listen to somebody*'s
1090K15 reminiscences, and I an aerial to_ help tune in some notes coming
1100K15 out of instrument.... I*'3m right in saying that you and I are human
1110K15 beings, just a couple of kinds of machines. $^You might become
1120K15 sad while listening to someone*'s story, or you might spend a sleepless
1130K15 night tonight... but tomorrow you*'3ll busy yourself with your
1140K15 work. ^To_ forget this whole incident, you*'1d take it off like
1150K15 a scratchy shirt. ^And I... whenever you like or anyone else likes....
1160K15 I*'1d raise the volume and let you hear this story. ^But
1170K15 I can never change the end of the story; when you listen and go away--
1180K15 or whenever anyone listens and goes away-- this melody will become
1190K15 silent after embracing the fate of all these notes. and I*'3ll
1200K15 be hanging in the air like an aerial wire... $^Well, as you say. ^Please
1210K15 listen to what Melody has to_ say... what objections could I
1220K15 have?.. $^Once there was an Annie and an Anwar. ^One day Anwer,
1230K15 looking into Annie*'s dark eyes, thought that she was the shore
1240K15 of his life*'s ocean. ^A shore is always a secure place... a person
1250K15 can sit in the sun on its wet sand for hours, play with shells,
1260K15 and by planting a bamboo pole, he can make a roof over his head for
1270K15 protecting himself against storms and showers. ^The shore is the wife;
1280K15 the roof is the home; the shells are the children. $^*Anwar had
1290K15 all of these: Annie was his wife; a three-room flat in Worli, Bombay;
1300K15 and a son, age seven, named Salaam. ^But Anwar had been
1310K15 seeing something in the ocean of life, and it had filled him with such
1320K15 a feeling of adventure that even if he were to_ come near the shore,
1330K15 he wouldn*'4t want to_ come ashore. $^As Anwar was about to_ leave
1340K15 the bed of his secretary, Liz the color of her blue eyes rose and
1350K15 spread on the curtians of the room in such a way that he felt a strange
1360K15 sensation of swimming and drowning in the ocean-- a feeling of the
1370K15 unfathomable, dreadful depth of water. $^While sleeping in Liz*'s
1380K15 bed, Amwar did not have the feeling of sleeping in a woman*'s bed.
1390K15 ^Whenever her white slim arms or the prominence of her breasts
1400K15 touched his body, he felt that the soft fish swimming in the sea were
1410K15 touching him. ^He didn*'4t want to_ bring these fish to any shore: probably
1420K15 in his mind, either consciously or unconsciously, he knew that
1430K15 when fish reach the shore, they die. $^When with Annie, Anwar
1440K15 didn*'4t hate the shore, but he had little envy for it. ^At
1450K15 that_ time, he felt that even though he was coming near the shore,
1460K15 he still didn*'4t want to_ come ashore. ^And then just as someone might
1470K15 touch the shore and joke with it, he stood in the sea water and
1480K15 wanting to_ return ashore, tried to_ tickle it-- that_ is, he asked
1490K15 Annie, "Supposing I leave you..." $^*Annie lay quietly, as
1500K15 unmoved and fixed as the shore. ^*Anwar felt that she wasn*'4t listening
1510K15 to what he was saying, and even if she were, she hadn*'4t understood
1520K15 the seriousness of what he*'d said. ^There*'1s no fear on the
1530K15 shore, but there is for the person who goes beyond the shore, Anwar
1540K15 argued to himself. ^But he knew the truth was bigger than this argument:
1550K15 Woman is the shore of life: the shore is afraid of the traveler
1560K15 who wants to_ take shelter.... the traveler doesn*'4t fear as much
1570K15 as the shore does. $^*Anwar had spent ten years of his life with
1580K15 Annie. ^She was between fifteen or sixteen when she fell in love with
1590K15 him. ^He was just an ordinary, good-looking college student, but
1600K15 her love turned him into an extraordinary person, and his boyishness
1610K15 was elevated into manliness. ^*Anwar knew that Annie*'s well-placed
1620K15 parents would never accept him, so he challenged her love. "^You*'3ll
1630K15 never have courage enough to_ leave your parents and come to me
1640K15 on the sly." ^Her mind had advanced beyond her physical charms to
1650K15 the extent that she*'1d never refuse a challenge, or ever admit that
1660K15 she couldn*'4t meet any danger. $^Consequently, one night Annie
1670K15 knocked at his door in the dormitory and said, "Anwar, you said I*'1d
1680K15 never come." ^Then it was Anwar, not Annie, who became frightened.*#
        **[no. of words = 02004**]

        **[txt. k16**]
0010K16 **<*3ON BANKS AND SHOALS*0**> **[leader comment begin**]
0020K16 $^Time does not stand still. ^It moves forward relentlessly. ^But the
0030K16 essential human dilemma is the same. ^It stands suspended in the infinitude
0040K16 of time. **[leader comment end**] $*3^AN*0 episode flowing
0050K16 down River Time-- got stuck on the bank of an Era: exactly
0060K16 where and when the Rishi Veda Vyasa had once sat in meditation in a forest.
0070K16 $^The moment his power of concentration was disturbed, he opened
0080K16 his eyes and saw Rani Satyavati standing-- as ravishingly charming
0090K16 as ever, but deeply sorrowful. $^Like the leaves of the tree
0100K16 under which he sat, he bent in salutation: "^My eternally beautiful
0110K16 Mother, why this sorrow writ on your face-- tell me?" $^The
0120K16 mother drew him lovingly to her breast. "^You*'3re from the Rishi
0130K16 Dynasty. ^You*'3ve no idea what agony love can cause in a human heart.
0140K16 ^*I*'3ve inherited the love of ruling in right royal manner from
0150K16 Raja Santanu himself..... for to_ continue with the dynastic line
0160K16 of descent, I gave birth to you from the same womb I brought
0170K16 forth the other two of the *4Raja*'s sons. ^But alas, one of the princes
0180K16 got killed in battle; the other fell victim to an incurable
0190K16 disease. ^What happens to the two inconsolable *4Ranis? ^Mustn*'4t
0200K16 their destinies run their courses-- I ask you?" $^All the withered
0210K16 leaves of the trees clustered down to_ look searchingly into Veda
0220K16 Vyasa*'s face. $^*Rani Satyavati*'s mind began flowing with the
0230K16 gentle waves of the Ganges River. "^*Maha Rishi Parasher had taken
0240K16 me to him like these waters. ^You are a pearl from the bay of the same
0250K16 stream. ^Playing on the sands and shoals, you wandered freely
0260K16 in and out of these groves and bushes you made all yours. ~you*'3ve
0270K16 no notion what the love for a gem in a crown can be." $*3^LIKE*0
0280K16 the rays of the sun enamelling the softly-swaying green foliage around,
0290K16 a smile hovered around Veda Vyasa*'s lips. "^True, I*'3ve no notion
0300K16 of what love for a kingdom can be; yet I can conjecture some what
0310K16 a mother*'s love....." $^*Satyavati bent low down like the ends
0320K16 of the creeper climbing the tree. "^The gem in a crown needs must
0330K16 have a throne, the throne needs must have a ruler. ^Both my daughters-in-law
0340K16 are widows today, I come as an emissary of theirs to_ ask the
0350K16 boon of a son each from you." $^*Veda Vyasa raised his eyes to the
0360K16 tree spread overhead, and the branches and leaves all bent low down
0370K16 as if in search of their seeds on the earth. $^The *4Rishi's lips
0380K16 parted in a knowing smile. "^The commands of both Mother and Earth
0390K16 shall be obyed." $^*Veda Vyasa fulfilled his promise. ^He bequeathed
0400K16 a son each to Ambika and ambalika. $^Like the shrill delight
0410K16 of children in play, when the waters cascaded down the locks, the same
0420K16 Episode moved along in and out the creeks and bends of Time until
0430K16 it came to a halt at the bank of *5Kali Yuga,*6-- right there where
0440K16 Baldev*'s simple, little hut stood: there where on a rough wooden
0450K16 table lay Camus, Kafka and Pasternak; the Mahabharata drew a
0460K16 conspicuous blank. $^And right in front, his friend Kashinath came
0470K16 and stood like a broken leaf fluttered to a spot on the ground. "^My
0480K16 prayer-- the Lord Almighty has not been able to_ grant; the herbal
0490K16 medicine from a *4Vaid has not been of any use. ^*I*'3ve come to_ ask
0500K16 therefore the boon of a son from you." $*3^THERE*0 was no tree
0510K16 overhead. ^But Baldev*'s ears got filled with sounds as from rustles
0520K16 of leaves. $^*Kashinath was saying. "^The healthful body of my wife
0530K16 has been yoked to a cursed diseased man. ^Rid her of this affliction
0540K16 for a fleeting moment, my Friend!" ^*Baldev*'s entire frame
0550K16 became as knotted and gnarled as the roots of a giant tree. ^Like a leaf
0560K16 fallen with the driff of the wind, Kashinath fell at his feet.
0570K16 "^This secret shall remain sealed in my heart, yours and hers! none
0580K16 else would know, I vow." $'^This little shoot sprouted from the knotted
0590K16 and gnarled body of Kashinath*'s-- Perhaps as the Chronicle
0600K16 of Time ascribes..... I am perhaps a Veda Vyasa... a Rishi...'
0610K16 $^Thus the Episode travelled down from Era to Era. ^And from
0620K16 the broken, fluttering leaves, a Dynasty of flowers sprung forth.
0630K16 $^A son was born to Kashinath. ^Friends and relations came with
0640K16 their blessing and good wishes. ^And when Baldev bent and took a
0650K16 look at the new-born in the cradle, his lips got sealed like Veda
0660K16 Vyasa*'s. $"^No, no.. no! ~I*'3m no Veda Vyasa!" ^With that_
0670K16 fierce denial, Baldev*'s dream broke and he woke up. $^The unfinished
0680K16 bottle of drink still stood on his bedsids table. ^With trembling
0690K16 hands he poured some more into the glass and gulping it down,
0700K16 madly muttered: "^Your line of descent was from the Gods, Veda Vyasa...
0710K16 not from that_ of Common Man. ^And that_ makes some diffence,
0720K16 doesn*'4t it?" $*3^*BALDEV*'S*0 imagination drifted far into
0730K16 the Forest of Centuries. ^And with an uncommon Wail from the Deep,
0740K16 he lamented: '^*Rishi Raja! ^You have the power of Meditatin....
0750K16 of Maditation undefiled I have dreams, only dreams. ^A
0760K16 medley of fantasies....' $^The words from Baldev*'s lips echoed
0770K16 with the winds passing through the trees. "^Look Rishi! ^Look at
0780K16 me! ^Here... see... here is my Ambika. ^You had stopped recognising
0790K16 your Ambika soon enough... ^Mine is defferent. ^To
0800K16 me, she is a living reality... she is my very own Ambika: a part of
0810K16 my existence.... ^Wherever I go, she is with me." ^And laughing
0820K16 heartily, he continued: "^Look Rishi! ^You have no shadow.
0830K16 ^People speak the truth when they say that the *4Devtas... The
0840K16 Divinities above have no shadows. ^Man alone has the curse of having
0850K16 them following him. ^See for yourself-- mine, in fact, is larger
0860K16 than life...." $^His resonately rising voice clashed against
0870K16 the Silence of Centuries and subsided like tidal billows sadly into a
0880K16 deep stillness. "^Your period of meditation was over the moment Satyavati
0890K16 called out to you. ^Why does my voice not penetrate your ears?
0900K16 ^Why must it be so? ^You never picked your boy from Ambika*'s
0910K16 lap into your arms. ^*I have held him close to my heart. ^You
0920K16 do not know what it means to_ break away from one who is flesh of
0930K16 one*'s flesh..." $^*Baldev*'s body got bathed in streaming, steaming
0940K16 blood. "^You do not know the odour of blood, Rishi! ^Man*'s
0950K16 blood has it more pronouncedly when he is wounded to the depths.
0960K16 ^And blood has a pleasant enough aroma too when tender lips open in innocent
0970K16 laughter. ^That_ is when one discovers the common scent between
0980K16 father and son." $*3^AND*0 a stronger, more powerful scent flowed
0990K16 down the bulging veins of Baldev*'s forehead. ^Stupefied he spoke.
1000K16 $"^No matter where my Ambika takes her fragrance with her, I can
1010K16 find her out. ^*I feel her spasms and sighs resting on my arms....
1020K16 against my shoulders... lingering on my neck like a precious trust
1030K16 reposed in me. ^Don*'4t you see that I had quaffed deeply at her lips
1040K16 once?..." $^A vein in his forehead stood out with the strain of
1050K16 an indefinable pain. ^He bit his lower lip and said. "^You knew
1060K16 only to_ give, Rishi. ^You could never have known what it was to_
1070K16 receive... to_ accept feelingly. ^*I have lived through it all:
1080K16 through that_ unique experience. ^When I descended into the various
1090K16 depths of my Ambika, those very depths had taken me tightly into
1100K16 their grip, and when they unfolded again like the petals of an effoliating
1110K16 flower, I brought back with me their varying shades of odours.
1120K16 ^That_ was an intense moment when I awakened to the give-and-take
1130K16 strands entwining a tie. ^*I have lived through that_ intensity
1140K16 of experience, Rishi... ^You have not. ^There is not half as
1150K16 much pain in giving as there is in receiving. ^You do not-- you
1160K16 cannot know what that_ pain is, Rishi!" $^A stillness reigned all around.
1170K16 ^Around... far away... he could envisage the Future through
1180K16 the deep stillness. ^He could see it containing the remaining years
1190K16 of his life.... just an endless... a darkness of impenetrable
1200K16 silence. ^But in that_ darkness, Baldev shut himself up and sank
1210K16 to a deeper spot of darkness. ^Once settled down to the Region of
1220K16 Darkness, his lips began quivering.... as if with them the layers
1230K16 of darkness.... were beginning to_ be distubed. $"*3^SHE*0 had
1240K16 come for a spark of fire from me. ^For the sake of that_ spark
1250K16 I had to_ burn. ^And burn I well did . ^But I did not know,
1260K16 nor did she for that_ matter, that we would--- each of us go through that_
1270K16 Ordeal of Fire. ^She had shivered when touched by it, and
1280K16 for support had yielded herself entirely to one as if embarrassed by
1290K16 the flame that_ had arisen from her. ^And now I find she has felt
1300K16 the ashes of her burnt-out fire mingled in mine. ^See for yourself
1310K16 Rishi Raja! $^An apparition of a sort took shape (from my state
1320K16 of consciousness): a sort of a stone idol out of the darkness. ^Perhaps
1330K16 time had really turned it into stone... or so it appeared perhaps
1340K16 because it was still in a state of deep meditation." ^*Baldev stretched
1350K16 his arm out in the darkness to_ touch the feet of the form reverently.
1360K16 ^And his voice shook like his groping arm. "^*I crave your pardon,
1370K16 Rishi Raja! ^*I forgot myself when I a mere human tried
1380K16 to_ imitate you. ^For a fleeting moment, I tried identifying myself
1390K16 with you. ^For a fleeting moment only I stole your prayer-mat,
1400K16 only to_ realize that I am I and that I cannot be you. ^The serenity
1410K16 of your all-pervading presence can still be felt in the forest; I
1420K16 am in utter contrast, tossing about in my state of restlessness; and
1430K16 that_ is because I have to_ bear the burdensome curse of being at
1440K16 both giving and receiving ends-- I want my Ambika as well as my child
1450K16 by my side. ^My eyes can see not only ahead but far back to the
1460K16 time when Ambika was with me: leaning against my side... and I was
1470K16 getting a new span of life in and trough her." $^*Baldev nodded from
1480K16 his comatose state of consciousness back into sleep. ^The silence
1490K16 in the room took a breath of relief. ^Only the soft wind blowing in
1500K16 from the open window shook the pages of the open book on the table as if
1510K16 Canto Five of the Mahabharata were establishing rapport with
1520K16 Camus*' Outsider and as if Pasternak*'s Zhivago were rubbing eyes
1530K16 on learning from Maharishi Parasher the secret of converting the
1540K16 offensive *4Matsya (fish) odour into pleasnt aroma. $^Suddenly the
1550K16 silence of the room shivered and looked intently at Baldev. ^With feeling
1560K16 fermenting literally to a point of torment, he rose up from his
1570K16 bed murmuring. '^What is this curse, Veda Vyasa. ^*I seem to_
1580K16 be burning whenever I go to sleep. ^Not only I Ambika too. ^And
1590K16 I wake up always to a heap of ashes. ^How on earth will my boy
1600K16 trace out his genealogy from ashes, I ask you?' $^And the river flowed
1610K16 on as before. ^Only the ripples flowing on sadly witnessed the Episode
1620K16 being reduced to handful of dust and ashes on a bank.
1630K16 $**<*3The ommiscient stars*0**>
1640K16 $^THE astrologer*'s tuft, quivering with a life all its own,
1650K16 waggled up and down on the back of his head with every movement he made.
1660K16 ^Indeed, whenever he gestured forcefully, as he often did, his
1670K16 hands cleaving the air with authoritative whirls, it untied itself
1680K16 completely and hung down behind him, an absurd little twisted rope of grey.
1690K16 $^Heroically stifling a growing temptation to giggle, Ammu
1700K16 watched him help himself generously from the tray before him, and was lost
1710K16 in admiration for the expert way in which he tucked an enormous roll
1720K16 of well-filled betel leaves into a corner of his mouth, opening it wide
1730K16 to_ reveal discoloured teeth. ^Chewing meditatively on the succulent
1740K16 wedge, he flipped through a sheaf of palmyra leaves covered with minute
1750K16 squiggles and embarked with all due gravity on the business of the
1760K16 day.*#
        **[no. of words = 02024**]

        **[txt. k17**]
0010K17 **<*3Maluka**> $*<*32. The School*> $*3^*Maluka was a school
0011K17 dropout.
0020K17 ^It was the stimulus provided by his illiterate countrymen in British
0030K17 Columbia that_ made him go back to school. $^In December 1920 Mahatma
0040K17 Gandhi had come to the Punjab to_ promote the non-violent non-cooperation
0050K17 campaign against the British Government. ^He advocated the
0060K17 boycott of British goods and institutions, including the schools, which,
0070K17 he said, had instilled a slave mentality. $^Much water had flown
0080K17 down the rivers in the Punjab since Sir Michael O*'3Dwyer, the Governor,
0090K17 had crushed the Ghadr movement in 1915. ^The war to_ save democracy
0100K17 for the world had been won; India*'s aspirations for a share of
0110K17 its blessings effectively thwarted; suppressive legal measures adopted;
0120K17 and the 'natives' taught a lesson through the Amritsar massacre. ^And
0130K17 he was still there to_ show that where the strong rule obedience is best,
0140K17 little dreaming that in time he too was to_ receive the wages of sin
0150K17 through the pistol of a Punjabi in London. ^But Sir Michael and the
0160K17 impregnable imperial might were now faced with a different phenomenon.
0170K17 ^A saint had arisen to_ defy Caesar and millions rose to_ join him.
0180K17 ^The very soul of India was now in revolt; its success was no longer doubted,
0190K17 for the conviction had grown that the Government, having betrayed
0200K17 its *4Dharma, was drifting fast to its doom. ^And a quiet assurance
0210K17 came from the crumbling ruins of old empires that those whom the gods wish
0220K17 to_ destory they first make mad. $^The day the Mahatma was to_ pass
0230K17 through Maluka*'s village, people from near and distant hamlets had
0240K17 started with the dawn to_ gather along the road from Jullundur to Hoshiarpur
0250K17 for a *4darshan-- a communion of their souls with the Great
0260K17 Soul, the Mahatma, in silence. ^All the denominational schools in Hoshiarpur--
0270K17 the Islamia, the Arya Samaj and the Sanatan Dharam-- were
0280K17 closed for the day. ^Only the Government High School had insisted
0290K17 that the staff and the students must keep out of mischief and attend to
0300K17 the business of education as usual. $^As Maluka and his village schoolmates
0310K17 walked the three miles to the school through happy crowds in eager
0320K17 expectation, they felt a sense of futility in their pursuit of learning.
0330K17 ^The vast exhilerating tide of old and young, women and children, surging
0340K17 towards Swaraj, tugged at their hearts. $^The bright sun rose high
0350K17 in the clear blue sky and the chilly atmosphere of the school warmed
0360K17 up a little, but the silence remained ominous. ^The headmaster of the school
0370K17 was a learned Anglo-Indian; he dressed like a Sahib and ruled
0380K17 like a martinet. ^In the heavy silence he sensed a suppressed rumble of
0390K17 storm, and he rushed about in the long, wide verandas swishing his cane.
0400K17 ^But the exaggerated assertion of authority betrayed a lack of assurance.
0410K17 ^The teachers appeared to_ be busy teaching, and the students, their
0420K17 books open in front, looked out through the windows. $^Soon the students
0430K17 from the other high school arrived with a band. ^Many stood on the
0440K17 low school boundary walls and shouted repeatedly: $^Leave the cage. ^Fight
0450K17 for freedom. $^*India calls! ^The Mahatma calls! $^Most of Maluka*'s
0460K17 class-fellows were *3*4jat boys from the neighbouring villages;
0470K17 they didn*'4t need school education to_ earn a living. ^They were, in
0480K17 fact, better at sports than in studies, and enjoyed the rough and tumble
0490K17 of life in the fields more than the quiet and systematic acquisition
0500K17 of book knowledge. ^And the headmaster had rightly suspected trouble to_
0510K17 break out in that_ class. $^More students joined the crowd outside and
0520K17 the calls to freedom became louder. ^Within the school, the atmosphere
0530K17 became more tense, and the boys in Maluka*'s class more restless. ^They
0540K17 left their seats and looked out impatiently from the windows. $^The
0550K17 headmaster rushed into the room. $'^Sit down!' he shouted. $^All took
0560K17 their seats. ^They resented the stern command, but obeyed out of habit,
0570K17 and they felt not a little ashamed of their unthinking obedience. $'^Who
0580K17 among you wishes to_ leave the school?' he asked fiercely. '^*I want
0590K17 him to_ stand up.' $^In the oppressive silence the boys looked at
0600K17 each other, partly in fear and partly for encouragement, but none stood
0610K17 up. $'^If no one stands up,' he added triumphantly, 'I want you to_
0620K17 continue with your lesson in a disciplined manner. ^Pay no heed to the
0630K17 rowdies on the road barking out nonsense.' $^Provoked by the challenge
0640K17 and annoyed by the insulting references to the students from other schools,
0650K17 Maluka rose slowly from his seat, his heart pounding, and stood
0660K17 up holding the edges of his desk firmly in his hand. $'^So *3you wish
0670K17 to_ leave?' asked the headmaster threateningly. $'^Yes, sir', replied
0680K17 Maluka, and the affirmation relieved the tension in his body. $'^Did
0690K17 you ask your parents for their permission?' $'^No. sir.' $'^Did you ask
0700K17 your class teacher?' $'^No sir.' $'^My cane has the permission to_ correct
0710K17 you.' $^One, two three... the strokes came hard and fast. $^With
0720K17 lightning speed his classmates leaped out of the low windows, shouting,
0730K17 '^Come out, come out,' to_ join the exuberant crowd of students on the
0740K17 road. ^The band struck up a martial tune. ^In a few minutes the entire
0750K17 school was empty. $*<*=2*> $'^It was foolish of Gandhi to_ call
0751K17 the boys
0760K17 out of the school,' said Ganda Singh. '^What were they to_ do?' $'
0770K17 ^It was a mistake', agreed Gian Chand, 'but Gandhi was consistent.'
0780K17 $'^Consistently foolish!' jibed Ganda. $'^The *3*4jat boys never liked
0790K17 the school,' observed the cook shrewdly, 'and Gandhi gave them a patriotic
0800K17 reason for leaving it.' $'^And I am told,' added Banta Singh,
0810K17 'that they persuaded, even forced, the good *4Brahmin and *4Khatri students
0820K17 to_ leave. ^Is that_ right, Maluka?' $'^Well,' confessed Maluka
0830K17 with a faint smile, 'many among us felt that if some bright boys can*'4t
0840K17 see straight with Gandhi, their vision needs to_ be corrected.' $'^So
0850K17 you boys used violence to_ get the unwilling students out, so that
0860K17 they may practice non-violence with Gandhi,' chuckled Gian Chand,
0870K17 himself a *4Khatri. '^There*'1s *3*4jat logic for you!' $'^At least
0880K17 the schoolboys got the benefit of the freedom movement right away,' added
0890K17 Jugga, 'and poor India is still waiting.' $'^Anyway, you didn*'4t lose
0900K17 much time, Maluka', consoled Banta Singh. '^And you*'3ve gained
0910K17 a lot. ^You saw a great man. ^You heard him speak. ^You felt the glow of
0920K17 a great burning. ^The school would mean more to you now.' $'^But you
0930K17 must go back to school,' emphasized Gian Chand. $'^Yes, you must, Maluka,'
0940K17 added Natha Singh softly, 'or you*'3ll become an ignorant beast
0950K17 of burden like us.' $^The summer holidays were coming to an end, and Maluka
0960K17 began to_ think about the school. ^The three young boys, who had
0970K17 taken jobs in the planer mills, had already left. ^They had to_ help
0980K17 with fruit picking at home. $^The colourful season of fruitfulness had
0990K17 indeed begun. ^The tall rows of raspberry canes were wine red at the tips,
1000K17 and the gooseberry bushes had more fruit than leaves. ^The plums
1010K17 had ripened purple-blue and reddish-yellow; the pears were turning pale
1020K17 and the apples deep red. ^Across the Fraser on Lulu Island, the rectangular
1030K17 fields of barley and oats looked like bright patches of gold
1040K17 on a quilt of green. ^The days were still warm, but the evenings brought
1050K17 a touch of the autumn, and an odd yellow leaf parted sadly from the poplars.
1060K17 $^The mellow days of soft sunshine, like early winter days in
1070K17 the Punjab, when the sugarcane sweetened and the citrus fruit harvest gleamed
1080K17 yellow and orange on the round green trees, made Maluka very happy.
1090K17 ^The thought of going back to school made him happier still. $'^It*'3ll
1100K17 be good to_ join the Kitslano High School,' advised Natha Singh.
1110K17 '^It*'1s not far from the Gurdwara. ^Many of our people live in that_
1120K17 area, and you can stay with them.' $'^A beautiful beach is nearby,'
1130K17 added the cook, 'and you can walk across Granville bridge to the heart
1140K17 of the city.' $'^And you*'3ll be able to_ listen to *3*4Gurbani
1141K17 **[foot note : the voice of the *4Guru.**]
1150K17 regularly at the Gurdwara,' said Bhai Tara Singh ardently,
1160K17 'and meet many good people.' $'^And when you wish to_ see us,' observed
1170K17 Prem wistfully, 'the interurban car will bring you here in half an
1180K17 hour.' $^Soon after the schools opened Maluka presented himself at
1190K17 Kitslano High School. $^The principal, a neatly dressed energetic man
1191K17 of medium
1200K17 size with sharp features, received him with half-concealed suprise.
1210K17 $'^Let me see your school certificate,' he asked authoritatively, and his
1220K17 thin lips closed tight as he examined the creased document. $'^It seems,'
1230K17 he observed hesitatingly, 'that you are qualified to_ join grade *=10.'
1240K17 $^The coldness of his words widened the distance between the two.
1250K17 $'^How long have you been here?' $'^Five months, sir.' $'^And what have
1260K17 you been doing?' $'^Working in a lumber mill.' $'^Don*'4t you like your
1270K17 work?' $'^*I do, sir, but I*'1d like to_ finish my schooling.' $'^Well,
1280K17 you are the first Sikh boy to_ come to this school. ^Do you think,
1290K17 you*'3ll pull along with the students?' $'^*I shall do my best, sir.'
1300K17 $'^Come with me to the class teacher,' he said with a sharp gesture
1310K17 as he got up from his chair. $^The class teacher, a balding man of mild
1320K17 manners, looked very surprised to_ see a turbaned teenager wanting to_
1330K17 join the school. ^He too felt that Maluka*'s qualifications were in order,
1340K17 but doubted whether he would find it easy to_ make the necessary
1350K17 adjustments. $^The interview, conducted more like a police inquiry than
1360K17 an educational guidance session, crowned with doubt, made Maluka feel
1370K17 very uneasy. ^He wondered whether he was really wanted there. $^Suppressing
1380K17 his feelings, he followed the principal through the quiet corridor,
1390K17 the classroom doors closed on both sides, to his office. ^He felt
1400K17 very confused and not a little dejected. ^Wouldn*'4t it be better to_
1410K17 have the confusion cleared even if it meant a greater dejection? ^He didn*'4t
1420K17 understand things in the New World too well, but he understood
1430K17 his feelings thoroughly. ^And his lack of knowledge made him rely more
1440K17 upon his courage. $'^Would you be glad to_ have me in the school, sir?'
1450K17 he ventured to_ ask the principal, looking him full in the face. $'^Not
1460K17 particularly,' came the clipped reply, and the plastic face remained
1470K17 immobile. $^*Maluka had no desire to_ join Kitslano High School.
1480K17 $^Depressed in spirit, his heart turbulent, he decided to_ walk back to
1490K17 the small wooden interurban car station on False Creek at Granville
1500K17 Bridge via the Sikh Temple on Second Avenue West. ^Soon he was
1510K17 able to_ see from a distance the familiar *5Nishan Sahib,*6 the
1520K17 yellow Sikh flag bearing the militant emblem-- swords crossed around
1530K17 the *3*4chakra-- in black, fluttering on a white mast over the roof of
1540K17 the Gurdwara. $^The sight of the flag stirred him and he walked more
1550K17 energetically, hardly noticing the pedestrians on the cement sidewalk. ^Many
1560K17 episodes from Sikh history flashed through his mind. $^Yes! under
1570K17 this flag the Sikhs had shown amazing courage in adversity. ^Holding
1580K17 it high, they had often challenged the dark fate and fought it to victory.
1590K17 ^What determination it had aroused! ^What a spirit of sacrifice! $^Soon
1600K17 he was at the Gurdwara. ^He walked up the high flight of broad steps
1610K17 to_ pay homage to the *5Granth Sahib*6 for Guru Gobind Singh,
1620K17 the tenth and last guru of the Sikhs, had ordained, to_ guard against
1630K17 personality cults, that after him the Scripture was to_ be the only
1640K17 *4guru of the democratic *3*4Khalsa for all times. ^All guidance and
1650K17 inspiration, all that_ was needed to_ strengthen faith and galvanize
1660K17 courage was to_ be found in it. $^There appeared to_ be nobody in
1670K17 the Gurdwara. ^The *3*4Granthi (Priest) was in fact considered more
1680K17 like a caretaker than a scholar versed in the musical reading of the
1690K17 Scripture and its meaningful interpretation. ^*Guru Gobind Singh, moreover,
1700K17 had also abolished priesthood among the *3*4Khalsa, so that
1710K17 any knowledgeable Sikh could take charge of the religious service and
1720K17 lead the congregation in prayer.*#
        **[no. of words = 02004**]

        **[txt. k18**]
0010K18 *<9*> **<*3Bovine Bugles**> $^The cluster of slums rigged up in tin
0020K18 and gunny bags stood quarantined in a smudge in the rural expanse, way
0030K18 down the circular road that_ held the city in a ring of concrete. ^Opposite
0040K18 the anti-septic urban stretch of the highway were the three-storeyed
0050K18 apartment blocks in a rectangle. ^The lofty, residential area was called
0060K18 Sundar Nagar and, maybe cross at the loveliness across them, the
0070K18 slum dwellers retaliated by naming their place Shaheed Nagar the city
0080K18 of martyrs. ^The city of beauty and the city of martyrs stood menacingly
0090K18 poised against one another for the ultimate conflict of Payyan*'s dreams.
0100K18 $^Television antennae, quite the status symbol of the times sprouted
0110K18 from the terraces of Sundar Nagar. ^*Shaheed Nagar had an answer
0120K18 for this too. ^A great number of tricolour in tatters flapped atop poles
0130K18 pitched all over the place. ^Power lines had not been pulled into the
0140K18 slums nor was there a system of protected water supply in them. ^Nature
0150K18 took care of whatever problem in sanitation there was with the Yamuna
0160K18 flowing close by. ^The yearly floods burst the banks of the river and
0170K18 surged into the slums and gave it a wholesome, holy wash before receding
0180K18 back into stream. $^The Minister*'s car turned into the narrow dirty
0190K18 road of the slum and inched its way a few yards when it halted, mobbed
0200K18 by the crowd. ^The Minister and Sunanda got down. $^*Payyan asked the
0210K18 Mercedes to_ be parked under a tree on the ring road and walked into
0220K18 the jostle along with Bhandari. ^*Sunanda and the Minister*'s white
0230K18 cap showed now and again as the mass of humanity rose and fell like a tide.
0240K18 $^An earthern lamp flickered on a blanket spread across the lane between
0250K18 the rows of hutments on either side. ^*Sunanda and the Minister
0260K18 stood before the holy light with the slum dwellers in tolerably clean rags,
0270K18 specially washed for the event, milling round them. ^A girl in her
0280K18 early twenties walked up to the Minister with a garland of white roses
0290K18 in her hands. ^*Payyan was stunned. ^A smasher! $^She looked a Rajasthani
0300K18 in her peasant skirt and blouse in dark green. ^A rash of silver
0310K18 ringlets crowded her ear lobes. ^She moved erect and unwavering like a
0320K18 flame and the Minister, like Payyan, stood in a trance. $^She raised
0330K18 the garland in her hands and looked at the Minister. ^As he bowed his
0340K18 head, happy to_ be garlanded like a groom at a wedding, Sunanda whispered
0350K18 something in his ear. ^He straightened himself shaking with laughter
0360K18 and took the garland in his hands. $^The mob clapped and the girl flashed
0370K18 the Minister a smile that_ could have melted metal. $^*Bhandari clicked
0380K18 at his flash. $^The young thing then garlanded Sunanda and gave
0390K18 her a bouquet. $^*Payyan clapped vigorously. ^He was getting drunk with
0400K18 the girl. $"^Who*'1s she?" ^*Payyan asked Bhandari. $"^*I don*'4t know,"
0410K18 he said rather innocently. $^The distinguished guest and Sunanda
0420K18 moved forward in the direction of the dais at the end of the lane and Payyan
0430K18 had considerable difficulty in keeping abreast of them with the
0440K18 crowd shoving him about. ^The Minister was talking animatedly to the girl
0450K18 by his side all the time and the accomplished one was laughing away
0460K18 like a bell pealing. ^*Payyan wished she wouldn*'4t squander all her charm
0470K18 on the Minister but keep some of it back for himself and the rest of
0471K18 the
0480K18 insulted and the humiliated who might go on the line after the *3*4tamasha
0490K18 was over. $^The procession stopped some distance short of the stage.
0500K18 ^*Sunanda pointed to a shack on her left to the Minister and turned
0510K18 back and motioned Payyan and Bhandari to_ follow her. $^Showing \0VIPs
0520K18 inside the shacks of slums was a great ritual in the art of slumming.
0530K18 ^They bowed their way into the shack after Sunanda, the Minister,
0540K18 the girl and the headman of the slum. ^It was out of bounds for the
0550K18 mob outside. $^Everything was spit and polish inside the single room, the
0560K18 size of a bath in a governmental colony for peons. ^The headman had
0570K18 pulled off the trick at tweny four hours notice. ^The floor was paved with
0580K18 cow dung, and a calendar of Lord Krishna with his horde of milkmaids
0590K18 from nearby Mathura adorned the tinned wall. ^The fumes of camphor from
0600K18 a brass cup beneath the photo curled up the Lord*'s face. ^A string
0610K18 cot with a mattress neatly folded upon it stood at one end. ^Washed linen
0620K18 hung from a clothesline above the cot. ^A couple of *3*4moodhas--
0630K18 cane stools-- were in the centre and the ancient *4hookah reared its head
0640K18 like a cobra in a corner. ^There was no kitchen in the shack. ^Obviously
0650K18 the headman was no great believer of eating. ^The place was so simple
0660K18 and cosy and neatly turned out that Mahatma Gandhi and his goat
0670K18 could have lived there in princely splendour. $^*Payyan took a second look
0680K18 at Lord Krishna, the Don Juan of pre-history. ^No one else in recorded
0690K18 history had excelled the scale in mass orgy he had organised with
0700K18 sixteen thousand and eight teen age girls in the cast. ^The stamina is
0710K18 beyond you by all means and so forget it, Payyan told himself and offered
0720K18 a prayer to the great he-man on the wall. $"^*Mahatman," said the turbaned
0730K18 headman addressing the Minister with folded hands "please be seated."
0740K18 $^The Mahatman looked the dove of a girl with an enhanced sense
0750K18 of lust in his eyes and asked: "^How is this young one related to you?"
0760K18 $"^*Chameli is my niece, Mahatman. ^She is the younger daughter of my
0770K18 only sister." $"^But I didn*'4t see her the last time I was here," ^*Payyan
0780K18 said. $^The headman looked round to him: "^Ah, it*'1s our
0781K18 *4Sab.
0790K18 ^You*'3re right, *4Sab. ^*Chameli had been to the village and
0791K18 returned
0800K18 only last week." $"^Dont*'4t send her back any more," said the Minister.
0810K18 $^*Chameli with her chiselled face threw Payyan a defiant look. $"^Where
0820K18 are the newsmen?" ^*Sunanda asked him, watching his attention flitter.
0830K18 $"^The Managing Editors and the Board of Directors must be on
0840K18 their way," he said still sizing up Chameli. $"^And our distinguished
0850K18 foreign guests, Bhandari?" $"^They*'3ll be here any moment now." $^The
0860K18 minister put his hand on Chameli*'s shoulder and asked the headman: "^How
0870K18 many childern do you have?" $"^None, Mahatman. ^The gods have been
0880K18 unkind to me. ^That_*'1s why I adopted Chameli as my daughter." $"^Where
0890K18 is your wife?" $"^She is with the women outside, Mahatman." $"^Now
0900K18 I know why the place looks so neat," the Mahatman said. "^There*'1s
0910K18 no place like home, more so without children." $"^All the rooms in the
0920K18 colony are as clean as this one here," Sunanda protested. $"^Is that_
0930K18 so?" the Minister said "^Then I am very happy about it." $"^It is so."
0940K18 $"^It*'1s ideal village atmosphere here," the Mahatman said pumping
0950K18 Chameli on her shoulder. "^*I feel as if I am back in my village." $(^Or,
0960K18 not having started from there, to put it the better.) $"^Please be
0970K18 so kind as to_ visit us again, Mahatman," the headman said as they were
0980K18 filing out. $"^Most certainly," said the Minister. "^Each time I
0990K18 get some respite from my offical work, I*'3ll make it a point to_ go here
1000K18 **[sic**] and meditate in the divine peace of the slum with the
1001K18 Jamunaji flowing
1010K18 close by." $(^Won*'4t it do if Chameli goes to your place and does
1020K18 the meditation?) $^The first cars bearing diplomatic number plates came
1030K18 roaring up the road. $"^They*'3re here," said Sunanda. $"\0^*Prof.
1040K18 Mac, too," said Bhandari hurrying off to_ welcome the lot. $^A dozen folding
1050K18 chairs had been put in a row directly below the dais for the distinguished
1060K18 guests and as the Minister was coasting along with Chameli
1070K18 to the stage, Sunanda said: "^Let us wait for the diplomats, please."
1080K18 $^The man in charge of manure slumped in a chair pulling down Chameli
1090K18 next to him. ^He drummed with his fingers on her shoulder. $^The thousand
1100K18 strong populace of the slum squatted on the ground behind the row of
1110K18 chairs, men first, women next and children last. $^*Bhandari came up piloting
1120K18 the foreigners including \0Prof. Mac. ^*Sunanda greeted them
1130K18 with folded hands. ^They shook her by the hand and returned the greetings
1140K18 in accents varying from pidgin to Oxford. ^An African diplomat thumped
1150K18 Sunanda in the back with an affection that was all too demonstrative.
1160K18 $^Oh, my throbbing symbol of black power, Payyan muttered to himself.
1170K18 ^Easy on the old girl. ^She is delicate and past her prime as Lolita.
1180K18 $^She introduced them one by one to the Minister. $-- ^*His Excellency
1190K18 \0PQR from the land of the copper mines. $-- ^The High Commissioner
1200K18 of Boland. $-- ^The Consul General from the Continent of tuna
1210K18 fish. $--\0^*Prof. Mac from the States. ^Philanthropy is in his
1220K18 bones. $^The professor with his pigmented face, crew-cut hair and round
1230K18 blue eyes looked like an intelligence agent from the pages of a penny thriller.
1240K18 $"^Yes, yes, Sunandaji was telling me about you," the Minister
1250K18 told the professor. $^*Mac stood smiling at Sunanda. ^It seemed that
1260K18 he was waiting for some clue from her and seconds later when it was
1270K18 still not forthcoming, he asked her with considerable embarassment: $"^Could
1280K18 you please translate the Minister for me?" $"^But the Hon*'3ble
1290K18 Minister was speaking English!" ^*Payyan exclaimed. $"^Oh, I*'3m terribly
1300K18 sorry," Mac said going redder in the face. "^Please excuse me. ^Maybe
1310K18 I was not listening properly...." $"^Not at all," ^*Payyan said.
1320K18 "^The Minister was speaking in his private accent of *5Poorva Pradesh*6
1330K18 and...." $^The Minister ignored Payyan and made a fresh start and
1340K18 a polite Mac kept on nodding most knowledgeably, and on it went until
1350K18 Sunanda steered the heap of manure, Chameli and all on stage. $^*Payyan
1360K18 watched the rest of the show at leisure from behind the last row of
1370K18 the open air theatre. $^Invocation by Chameli. ^She had the voice of
1380K18 an angel. $^*Sunanda was indignant in her welcome speech. $^The slums
1390K18 were as old as the moghul ruins that_ littered the place, she said. ^But
1400K18 the Government was not spending on them not even a hundredth of what
1410K18 it was lavishing for the upkeep of the monuments which nobody ever
1420K18 visited. ^This was something about which the Government should be ashamed
1430K18 of. $"^Shame," chanted the crowd. ^The Minister joined in with eclat.
1440K18 ^*Chameli sat in a corner of the stage like a lamp with its wick burning
1450K18 low. $^The slums did not have a system of protected water supply,
1460K18 Sunanda went on, electricity or family planning. ^Social service had its
1470K18 limitations and unless the Government bestirred itself in time, she
1480K18 warned, the last of the urbanites was going to end up in the slums. $^The
1490K18 distinguished guests in the front looked at one another and nodded gravely.
1500K18 $^*Payyan was all praise for Sunanda for acting it out in the
1510K18 most natural manner as in a new wave film before the fierce camera of the
1520K18 sun. ^Her sari of French material fluttered in the wind that wheeled
1530K18 across the slum revealing a strip of her belly which he had tickled earlier
1540K18 in the morning and was the colour of a faded rose now. ^Her lovely
1550K18 figure looked harsh in the sunlight. $^It was the Minister*'s turn
1560K18 now. $^He took off his cap, wiped his grey head with a handkerchief and
1570K18 rose with an effort from the chair but when it came to delivering the
1580K18 presidential chatter he was in his element. $^There was no harm in democracy
1590K18 taking its own time in steaming in, but socialism had to overtake
1600K18 the former and thunder in like the Frontier Mail, he said. ^His party
1610K18 had made it clear in its Fathepur resoultion. ^Like Bapu before him
1620K18 he got peace of mind only when he was in the midst of *3*5daridra narayans*6
1630K18 as at the slum. ^The place looked like his own village and he
1640K18 wouldn*'4t have returned to the dirt of New Delhi, a couple of miles
1650K18 away, after the function, but for the backlog or manure he had to_ clear
1660K18 single-handed in the Secretariat.*#
        **[no. of words = 02020**]

        **[txt. k19**]
0010K19 **<*3Something he hated to_ know**> $**[leader comment begin**]
0011K19 ^Death
0020K19 did occur as old \0Mr. Mahadevan had foretold, but why did he flee from
0030K19 his grand-daughter*'s wedding? **[leader comment end**] $*3^*Chempara
0040K19 had never witnessed such a large gathering. ^Even in the most exciting
0050K19 days of the Civil Disobedience movement, all India leaders could
0060K19 not collect so many of the village population to_ hear their message. ^The
0070K19 occasion in the present case was not of any extraordinary importance,
0080K19 either. ^It was only the sixtieth birthday of a man of the village.
0090K19 ^Hundreds and thousands of men had had their sixtieth birthday celebrated,
0100K19 but certainly not on this scale. $^But, the man whose sixtieth birthday
0110K19 it was, was Mangaappuram Neelakanthan Swayambhu. ^That_ explained
0120K19 both the number and the spirit of the congregation. ^To_ be mathematically
0130K19 accurate, eleven men over ninety, seven women past the age of eighty,
0140K19 22 children below four, three young men undergoing medical treatment
0150K19 and two young women lying in the village maternity home-- these were
0160K19 the only people of Chempara who did not attend the function to_ felicitate
0170K19 \0*4Shri Swayambhu. $^Having commenced exactly at the stroke of
0180K19 four in the afternoon, the meeting was still going on in full swing at
0190K19 seven. ^Speaker after speaker rose up in quick succession to_ eulogise
0200K19 the goodness and greatness of the sexagenarian in the choicest words in
0210K19 Malayalam, Tamil, Sanskrit and English. ^The *4panchayat
0211K19 president,
0220K19 Panamoottil Kannan Kunhiraaman had to_ stare each speaker into winding
0230K19 up his speech. ^At eight o*'3clock, \0*4Shri Kunhiraaman rose up
0240K19 and said there was to_ be no more speech-making. ^He presented to Swayambhu
0250K19 a silken purse containing fresh currency notes amounting to
0260K19 sixty-six-thousand-six-hundred-and-sixty-six *4rupees. ^He spoke just a few
0261K19 dozen
0270K19 words and then requested Swayambhu to_ address the audience. $^*Swayambhu,
0280K19 everybody knew, was a man of few words. ^He bowed to the people around
0290K19 and before him, and said: $"^*I am very grateful for all the kindness
0300K19 I have received today, and for many days before, from all of you. ^*I
0310K19 wish you every prosperity and happiness in the coming years. ^*I have
0320K19 served you as well as I was able to, for the last forty years, as Head
0330K19 Master of the High School, President of the *4Panchayat Board,
0340K19 Manager of the Co-operative Bank, Chairman of the Agricultural Association,
0350K19 President of the Social Club, Founder-Leader of the *5Bhajan
0360K19 Mandali,*6 \0etc. ^*I am laying down all these offices because I
0370K19 wish the responsibilities attached to them to_ be taken up by younger and
0380K19 stronger shoulders. ^But, needless to_ say, I shall always be happy to_
0390K19 be of any use to any of you, personally. ^You know me well enough. ^So
0400K19 I will not say more on this point. $"^*I request for **[sic**] your
0401K19 indulgence to_
0410K19 speak a few words on a subject dear to my heart. ^There are many young
0420K19 women in the audience. ^They were all my students once and will not,
0430K19 I hope, mind my giving them just one more lesson in morals. ^All that_
0440K19 I have been, am and will be, I owe to the support given to me by my wife
0450K19 Savitri. ^The *4Shastras say that it is a sin to_ praise one*'s wife
0460K19 to others. ^Today I am tempted to_ commit that_ sin. ^*I will only
0470K19 say that the woman has been everything that the ideal wife is defined to_
0480K19 be in all the books I have read. ^*I pray that it may be given to each
0490K19 and every young woman here to_ live as Savitri has lived. ^*Savitri
0500K19 is not here; that_ just bears out what I have said of her. $"^Thank you
0510K19 all, again, from the bottom of my heart. ^May Lord Guruvaayoorappan
0520K19 shower His choicest blessings on you all, always!" $^Two months after
0530K19 Swayambhu*'s retirement from Chempara*'s active public life, an important
0540K19 matter concerning his personal life came up-- the marriage of his only
0550K19 daughter Manjula. ^*Manjula*'s three elder brothers had gone out of
0560K19 the village and secured good jobs in Madras, Bombay and Calcutta; two
0570K19 younger brothers were in college at Palghat. ^*Manjula was twenty, a
0580K19 *(0B. A.), and charming. ^From the day he retired, Swayambhu had been
0590K19 trying hard to_ give the girl away in marriage. ^He was able to_ find
0600K19 a fine boy whose horoscope agreed and settled the points of negotiations
0610K19 with the boy*'s people. ^The ceremony was fixed for January 20, the
0620K19 first auspicious day of the marriage season. $^*Swayambhu*'s father-in-law,
0630K19 Mahadeva Iyer by name, had been a high officer of the Central
0640K19 Government and had settled down in Delhi after retirement, because
0641K19 all his
0650K19 three sons were employed there. ^Past seventy-two and a widower, Mahadevan
0660K19 felt that_ year*'s Delhi cold too much for his weak chest. ^He was
0670K19 thinking of staying in Chempara for a couple of months to_ take the
0680K19 very efficacious *4Ayurvedic treatment for which the village was famous.
0690K19 ^And, just then he got Savitri*'s letter announcing the coming marriage
0700K19 of her only daughter. ^The old gentleman was only too glad to_ be at
0710K19 Chempara for the happy event. $^The arrangements for the marriage were
0720K19 going apace. ^*Swayambhu naturally wished the occasion to_ be a grand
0730K19 one, and did not spare effort or expenditure. ^The Chempara people, men,
0740K19 women and children, all placed themselves at his disposal. ^*Manjula*'s
0750K19 marriage promised to_ become the finest festival of the year-- even
0760K19 grander than the annual *4mela in honour of the Mother Goddess. $^*Mahadevan
0770K19 watched the progress of the marriage preparations with pride and
0780K19 satisfaction. ^*Savitri was his only daughter, and Manjula was Savitri*'s
0790K19 only one. ^It did the old man good to_ see that the dear little child
0800K19 was to_ be given away in such fine style. $^*Mahadevan was an erudite
0810K19 Sanskrit scholar and highly learned in astrology. ^So one evening
0820K19 when there was no important work on anybody*'s hands Swayambhu showed him
0830K19 the horoscope of Manjula and her prospective husband. ^*Mahadevan studied
0840K19 the two documents most carefully, Savitri and Swayambhu watched
0850K19 him with immense interest. ^It was obvious that the learned old man
0851K19 had come
0860K19 across some complication, his facial expression changed frequently as
0870K19 he scanned the positions of the various planets in the horoscope and
0880K19 made calculations on his fingers. ^After a long time, Mahadevan said:
0890K19 "^The percentage of agreement between the two horoscopes is ninety-nine,
0900K19 whereas the maximum agreement so far known is only ninety-seven." ^*Swayambhu
0910K19 was beyond himself with joy. $^Not so Savitri. ^She had studied
0920K19 her father carefully and understood his mind perfectly during the twenty
0930K19 years she had been in his care. ^Something in his face while he was
0940K19 looking into the horoscopes and when he gave expression to his finding
0950K19 made her feel that he had not said everything be had to_ say in the matter.
0960K19 $^*Savitri was right in her conjecture. ^In the evening, when Swayambhu
0970K19 had gone out and she was thinking of speaking to her father about
0980K19 her feeling, Mahadevan himself came to her and said: "^Well my girl,
0990K19 must you give Manjula away so soon? ^*I know I sound inauspicious and,
1000K19 seeing that the arrangements have gone so far you may even think me stupid,
1010K19 but, really..." $"^Not at all, father," Savitri interrupted. "^*I
1020K19 guessed you found something in the horoscopes which you did not disclose
1030K19 to us. ^Tell me, now, please. ^*I can take it, whatever it is. ^It
1040K19 is still quite possible to_ cancel the marriage, if necessary." $^*Mahadevan
1050K19 said: "^What I told you about the agreement between the horoscopes
1060K19 is the truth. ^But , Manjula*'s own horoscope shows, clearly and incontrovertibly
1070K19 that her *4janayitaa, that_ is progenitor, will die the
1080K19 very moment her marriage is solemnised. ^*I got so worried when this was
1090K19 revealed to my eyes! ^*I could not say this before Swayambhu. ^Equally,
1100K19 I cannot hide it, so I am telling you now. ^Perhaps you can tell
1110K19 this to Swayambhu tactfully and get him to_ postpone the girl*'s marriage
1120K19 for as long as possible. ^*Manjula is only twenty, and can remain unmarried
1130K19 for another five or six years. ^If this boy will not wait, we can
1140K19 get some other, later. ^Your husband is just turned sixty: it would be
1150K19 awful to_ lose him now, and that_ knowingly!" $^That_ night, Savitri
1160K19 did tell Swayambhu about her father*'s finding and advice. ^*Swayambhu
1170K19 had great respect for his learned father-in-law, but he thought he had
1180K19 entered into a contract with the boy*'s family and considered it sinful
1190K19 even to_ think of backing out of it. ^As for the risk to his life, it was
1200K19 his firm conviction that he would live just as long as Lord Guruvaayoorappan
1210K19 willed Savitri*'s *4mangalasootram to_ stay around her neck.
1220K19 ^The marriage was to_ be conducted as planned in spite of what his father-in-law
1230K19 had said. $^*Manjula*'s three elder brothers reached Chempara
1240K19 in the first week of January and ably assisted their father. ^On the
1250K19 seventeenth of the month all the three sons of Mahadevan too arrived
1260K19 with their wives and children. ^*Swayambhu*'s house became gay and brilliant,
1270K19 with well-dressed and bedecked ladies moving about briskly and
1280K19 the little ones boisterous in playful mirth. $^The marriage day came.
1290K19 ^The ceremonies started. ^Everything was going in perfect order and magnificent
1300K19 style. ^The congregation of people was, if anything, slightly larger
1310K19 than at Swayambhu*'s birthday function, because of the addition of
1320K19 so many relatives from both sides. $^*Manjula*'s graceful neck was graced
1330K19 with the *4mangalasootram. ^The *4Vedic chants appropriate to the
1340K19 rite sanctified the air of the marriage *4pandal, while the playing of the
1350K19 *4naadaswaram and *4tavul enriched it with the sound of music. ^*4Saptapadi,
1360K19 the ritual seven steps together, which confirms the boy and girl
1370K19 as man and wife, was going on. ^The men and women around the *4mandap
1380K19 craned their necks forward as the youthful bride, attired in gorgeously
1390K19 embroidered silk and bedecked in brilliant jewellery, splendorous in
1400K19 the bashful confusion of her new status, lifted up her shapely ivory feet
1410K19 behind her husband-- one, two, three, four, five, six... $^Just when
1420K19 Manjula had put her right foot down and the presiding priest called
1430K19 out "seven", someone cried out, "Oh, God!" ^All eyes turned in the direction
1440K19 of that_ inauspicious cry. ^Then there was a rush of men and women
1450K19 this way and that_, and a lot of confused shouting. $^*Mahadevan was
1460K19 sitting in a low easychair, some distance from the *4mandap. ^For one
1470K19 thing, his legs were giving trouble; for another, the smoke from the
1480K19 *4homa-kunda burned his weak eyes. ^Seeing and hearing the confusion, he
1490K19 got up slowly and walked towards the main gate of the *4pandal, where
1500K19 people had collected thickly. ^Everyone was speaking, and nothing was
1510K19 clear to Mahadevan. ^He strained his ears and racked his brain to_ understand
1520K19 the sense of all the talking. ^At last, he was able to_ make out
1530K19 the gist of what was said. $^Adjacent to the compound on which Swayambhu*'s
1540K19 house stood was a tiny plot with a shed on it. ^A carpenter lived
1550K19 in the shed with his family. ^While the marriage ceremonies were going
1560K19 on, the man was perched on a tree and watching them with great interest.
1570K19 ^At the very moment when Manjula put down her right foot after the presiding
1580K19 priest had called out "seven", the man fell off the tree and on
1590K19 the tools he had left under the tree. ^A large chisel had pierced through
1600K19 his left side and into his heart; the man was dead when Swayambhu*'s
1610K19 servants standing near the *4pandal gate lifted him up from a pool of
1620K19 blood. $^When the *4Vedic rites of the marriage were over, and Manjula
1630K19 and her husband were to_ prostrate themselves before their elders for
1640K19 their blessings, Savitri and Swayambhu looked for Mahadevan. ^They
1650K19 looked in vain. $^*Savitri*'s very learned father Mahadevan, was at that
1660K19 time walking on his weak legs towards the railway station two miles away--
1670K19 because he knew something he hated to_ know.*#
        **[no. of words = 01970**]

        **[txt. k20**]
0010K20 **<*3The Living and the Dead**> $**[leader comment begin**] $^The
0011K20 man
0020K20 slung his camera over his shoulder and got back into the train with a
0030K20 satisfied air. ^The flood victims were a pathetic lot, but they made front
0040K20 page news. **[leader comment end**] $*3^They came to Chirala five
0050K20 days after leaving Tili. ^A band of twenty men and women who had risen
0060K20 from the dead and walked over the floating corpses, so that their eyes
0070K20 were now dead too. $^They came to Chirala and squatted by the railway
0080K20 track on the slush and on bits and pieces of stone that_ had been left
0090K20 of the station. ^They sat about and began to_ wait for the train. $^The
0100K20 men shook out their turban clothes and, coaxing a light out of pieces
0110K20 of flint, lit a pile of damp sticks. ^When the small, smoking fire
0111K20 began
0120K20 to_ throw up desultory sparks, one of them took out a couple of sodden
0130K20 *4beedis from his shirt pocket and lit them. ^The *4beedis began to_
0140K20 pass hands, each man inhaling deeply of the smoke before passing it on to
0150K20 the other. $^The women rummaged through the single cloth bag they carried
0160K20 among themselves and found a packet of cooked rice that_ had been
0170K20 thrown down from a helicopter near Tili. ^It was a polythene-wrapped
0180K20 packet and the rice had by now gone bad. ^But the women tipped it into
0190K20 a tincan and put the can over the fire. ^Old Gowri sat by the fire, stirring
0200K20 the rice with a stick from time to time. $^There were no families
0210K20 in that_ crowd. ^Only men and women who were strangers to each other.
0220K20 ^They sat huddled, the men with the men, the women with the women,
0221K20 and
0230K20 none dared guess the other*'s thoughts. ^There were no children among
0240K20 them, save one a baby. ^The babe had his mother with him, a young woman
0250K20 who sat apart from all the others, holding her child against herself. ^She
0260K20 neither looked at the child, nor comforted him when he cried, nor attempted
0270K20 to_ feed him. ^She merely held him and looked straight ahead. $^She
0280K20 was a slight creature, this woman, with a, ale skin and delicate features,
0290K20 like a high-class lady. ^But her clothes were coarse, a peasant*'s.
0300K20 ^The baby nuzzled against her breasts instinctively, whimpering. ^The
0310K20 milk had run dry on the second day of the journey, but the child nuzzled
0320K20 from habit, and Narasingu, watching them from the men*'s group,
0321K20 felt
0330K20 a horrifying stir in his loins. ^He looked away, sweat beads breaking
0340K20 out on his forehead. ^The woman noticed nothing, saw nothing. ^After a
0350K20 while, the baby stopped whimpering and nudging and drifted into semi-conscious
0360K20 sleep. $^Old Gowri called out from near the fire: "^We*'d better
0370K20 eat this rice now. ^It*'1s not going to_ get much better." $^They
0380K20 got up then and went to her and the old woman put a fistful of cooked rice
0390K20 into each outstretched hand. ^When everybody had eaten, she looked
0400K20 around and noticed the young woman. ^She clucked her tongue impatiently
0410K20 and, scraping up the rice from the can, took it over to the girl. $"^Eat,
0420K20 my dove," she cooed gently, pressing rice into the girl*'s unresisting
0430K20 hand: "^Eat, else how will you feed your little one?" $^She made to_
0440K20 take the child, but the girl only tightened her hold on him. $^*Gowri laughed
0450K20 shortly and said: "^Well, keep your baby. ^*I don*'4t want him.
0451K20 ^Only
0460K20 eat your rice." $^The girl put the rice into her mouth and began chewing.
0470K20 ^*Gowri left her and went back to the other women. $*3*^There was
0480K20 a large ditch of water a little to the left of where they sat. ^It was
0490K20 muddy and infested with mosquitoes. ^But some of them went over and
0500K20 drank handfuls of it. "^It doesn*'4t taste too bad," they came back and
0510K20 reported. ^Then all the others rose too and went over and the girl with
0520K20 the baby also followed them. ^But, when they reached the ditch and some
0530K20 of them had begun to_ drink the water, she began to_ scream. $^It was
0540K20 a terrible, unearthly sound, the woman*'s screaming. ^She stood there
0550K20 at the edge of the ditch, staring at the other women with horrified eyes,
0560K20 and her mouth was a round hole from which the piercing wail rang on and
0570K20 on... ^The men came rushing to_ see what the matter was and the women
0580K20 choked on the water they had drunk. $^For the next few seconds, as they
0590K20 all stood there like statues and stared at the screaming girl who held
0600K20 her startled baby tightly in her arms, they all saw the waves rise
0610K20 up and crash over them again; they saw trees fall, their houses, their
0620K20 brethren and their children float soundlessly away, like motes on a beam
0630K20 of light. ^They saw again the corpses jamming the way, felt the squelch
0640K20 of rotting flesh under their feet and the stench of it, that_ would
0650K20 never again vanish from their nostrils, rose up and choked them. $^They
0660K20 were all very quiet after that_ incident. ^Most of them slept. ^But the
0670K20 girl with the child sat on, her eyes fixed unblinkingly on the grey horizon.
0680K20 $*3^Towards evening it began to_ rain a little. ^They shivered
0690K20 uncontrollably as the drizzle touched them, but it stopped soon after.
0700K20 ^Old Gowri said: "^Once we get to Repalle, we will be all right... ^Somebody
0710K20 will help us there..." and they all murmured something to_ break
0720K20 the monotony. $^By now, hunger had become a constant, twisting pain
0721K20 in their
0730K20 stomachs, but they had stopped talking about it, for the talking only
0740K20 made it worse. ^Suddenly, one of the women said: "^Look at the baby,there*'1s
0750K20 something wrong with it." ^They crowded round the girl and saw
0760K20 that the baby was jerking its limbs in spasms. "^It*'1s going to_ die,"
0770K20 one of the women said. $"^She doesn*'4t even look at it!" another
0780K20 woman wondered, staring at the girl. $^*Gowri pushed her way through the
0790K20 crowd and snatched up the baby. ^The girl immediately lifted up her hands
0800K20 to_ take him back and kept them lifted, as if in supplication, while
0810K20 Gowri rubbed the infant*'s limbs and rocked him. ^A little later, the
0820K20 spasms stopped and the the baby began to_ whimper. ^Unexpectedly, the
0830K20 woman lifted her upper cloth and held her babe close. ^As the infant
0831K20 sucked hungrily at the barren breast, women
0840K20 walked away, as if ashamed. $^Night came down on them in swift strokes.
0850K20 ^The sick-sweet smell of death rose up from the wastes of
0860K20 water beyond and with it came a stinging cloud of mosquitoes. ^As they
0870K20 twisted and turned and slapped at themselves on the ground, a woman cried:
0880K20 "^Ah, suppose a train never comes!" $^They froze at her words, then
0890K20 a babble of voices broke out as they reassured her: "^No, no *4Amma! ^There
0900K20 *3are trains running. ^They are late. ^That_ is all. ^See how clear
0910K20 the tracks are? ^Why should not trains be running?" $"^But suppose...?"
0920K20 the woman began again, sobbing, but they all hushed her and let her
0930K20 speak no more. $^Later that_ night, when they had dropped off into an
0940K20 uneasy slumber, a train did come to Chirala. ^Those of them that_ were
0950K20 not asleep heard its rumble, full ten minutes before it came, and woke
0960K20 up everybody else. ^They watched the glaring lights approach and rushed
0970K20 up. ^But there was no getting into that_ train. ^There were people hanging
0980K20 out of it, sitting on its roof, on its steps... ^And they pushed
0990K20 and struck maniacally at those who tried to_ get in. ^In spite of this,
1000K20 two of the men managed to_ get in. ^The rest could not. $"^Brothers!
1010K20 ^Brothers! ^Let us in!" cried one of the women and the passengers answered:
1020K20 "^There are no brothers or sisters left, woman. ^The storm has taken
1030K20 them all away!" $^Someone laughed loudly and the train moved on.
1040K20 $"^When*'1s the next train?" ^*Narasingu yelled, running alongside the slow
1050K20 moving coaches. $"^Tomorrow... in the morning," someone yelled back.
1060K20 $^And, in the morning, the whole thing seemed like a dream and
1070K20 they did not even suffciently miss the two men who had left by the train.
1080K20 ^Pale, grey shafts of light had broken through the clouds that_ day.
1090K20 ^At a distance, vultures and crows could be seen settling down on the carcasses.
1100K20 $^The baby*'s condition had turned worse. ^It had begun to_ gasp,
1110K20 face and body heaving at each breath. ^The mother held him on her
1120K20 lap now and looked down at him, expressionless as usual. ^Old Gowri sat
1130K20 near by and kept her head averted. ^*Narasingu came close to her. ^He
1140K20 looked uncertainly at the baby and went back silently to the other men.
1150K20 $*3^The South-bound train came at midday. $^They heard it and gathered
1160K20 themselves up as before. ^Those who were old were helped by the
1161K20 young and they all stood close to the track.
1170K20 ^When the train steamed down to a halt, they rushed madly towards it,
1180K20 determined not to_ be left behind this time. ^This train was as packed
1190K20 as the earlier one but the passengers were not so hostile. ^Some stared
1200K20 out at them curiously, some apathetically, and some opened the doors
1210K20 to_ let them in. $^*Gowri was on the point of getting into the train with
1220K20 the rest of them when she remembered the young woman and looked back.
1230K20 ^She saw her sitting in the same place, the child on her lap. ^*Narasingu
1240K20 was standing before her, looking down curiously still. ^*Gowri went
1250K20 back, crying: "^*I*'3ll take the child, Narasingu. ^You help the girl
1260K20 up... ^Hurry!" $^She stopped short by the girl and only then noticed
1270K20 the dead baby. ^She caught her breath and looked wildly at the young man.
1280K20 $^Someone yelled from behind her: "^Get in! ^Get in, old woman! ^Do you
1290K20 want to_ get left behind?" $^The old woman bent and lifted the infant*'s
1300K20 body from the girl*'s lap. ^She met with none of the usual resistance.
1310K20 ^Then, placing the body on the ground, she covered it with Narasingu*'s
1320K20 turban cloth, which he handed over to her silently. ^They both looked
1330K20 up and saw a curious sight. $*3^A man had got off the train and was
1340K20 now standing next to it. ^In his hands he held a camera. ^He was photographing
1350K20 them. ^As Narasingu and the old woman watched, he shut down
1360K20 his camera with a satisfied air and, slinging it over his shoulder, got
1370K20 back into the train. ^*Narasingu cursed loudly and hoisted the sitting girl
1380K20 roughly up to her feet. ^Then Gowri and the young man pushed her into
1390K20 the train. ^The old woman got in after her and, last of all, Narasingu.
1400K20 $^The train resumed its slow journey to the land of the living.
1410K20 $**<*3SUNDAY*'S PERFORMANCE*0**> $"*3^SIR*0, could you manage without
1420K20 me just for this Sunday*'s performance?" she repeated her request.
1430K20 ^It wasn*'4t exactly a request and the voice disguised carelessly a certain
1440K20 swagger and indifference. ^He understood it all. ^He would have to_
1450K20 seek out a new leading lady for his drama troupe instantly. $^She continued
1460K20 to_ smile and her eyes shone with a peculiar innocent playfulness.
1470K20 ^Her lips were red and full and allowed a streak of a delightful set
1480K20 of teeth sparkle between them. ^She was absolutely certain she would
1490K20 have her way. $^He groaned unintelligibly. ^He had never seen her so
1500K20 ravishing and confident in all the three years he had been her master, tutor,
1510K20 career-shaper and on numerous occasions a man to the woman. ^It was
1520K20 three years ago that Indra, then leading girl of the troupe and all
1530K20 the things that_ went with that_ position had gently enquired of him
1540K20 whether he could manage without her just for that_ coming Sunday*'s
1550K20 show and he knew he was in need of a new leading lady and that_ within
1560K20 a week*'s time. $^He was then staging a play which had become a popular
1570K20 hit. ^Everybody who worked in it and for it was doing fine. ^He had become
1580K20 a big name in the contemporary social life, magazines began devoting
1590K20 a few column-inches to_ write of his services to the stage, the radio
1600K20 people invited him to a seminar, some amateur drama associations held
1610K20 their shows under his presidentship, an orphanage correspondent wrote
1620K20 to him for a donation, and all of a sudden Indra musters up courage to_
1630K20 ask him in his face whether he could manage without her just for that_
1650K20 Sunday.*#
        **[no. of words = 02069**]

        **[txt. k21**]
0010K21 **<*3The Secretary Makes Three*0**> $*3^SINCE*0 the day her better
0020K21 half had joined the ranks of senior management graduating from having
0030K21 a *(dhoti-clad*) individual as personal stenographer to acquiring a
0040K21 *(sari-clad*) one as personal secretary, Sujata had been hearing about
0050K21 this paragon named Arlette. $^*Suresh*'s daily eulogy had often caused
0060K21 her to_ wonder if this unparalleled prodigy had any human qualities. ^Why
0070K21 she was still on earth was a mystery. ^With her qualifications, she
0080K21 ought to_ have sprouted a pair of wings by now, and graduated
0090K21 with honours with both harp and halo. $^However, Sujata did not let
0100K21 this worry her. ^It was only when Arlette began to_ invade the sacred
0110K21 realms of her home life, in a sort of neck-to-neck competition, that
0120K21 she felt her hackles rise. ^She decided to_ put her foot down firmly--
0130K21 size seven: she had big feet. $^The culminating coals had been heaped
0140K21 on the proverbial fire by Suresh, naturally. ^They had just returned
0150K21 from a rather boisterous party and Sujata*'s head was still reeling
0160K21 under the impact of a single unhabituated martini when Suresh had taken
0170K21 it upon himself to_ announce: "^Be home late tomorrow evening. ^Going
0180K21 to a painting exhibition with Arlette." $"^Painting exhibition with
0190K21 Arlette! ^Would you kindly tell me is this boss secretary relationship
0200K21 also for after office hours?" asked Sujata tartly. $"^The boss secretary
0210K21 relationship is an ever-expanding one," answered Suresh smoothly.
0220K21 "^As with most things in advertising, the sky*'1s the limit. ^Besides,
0230K21 it is necessary to_ inculcate in Arlette an appreciation of the
0240K21 aesthetic." $"^*I thought she had that_ already." mumbled Sujata, though
0250K21 as he didn*'4t reply and as her head was aching she did not pursue
0260K21 the topic. $^However, it was only when she woke next morning, her faculties
0270K21 the wiser for the surfeit of martini, that the true import of
0280K21 his not returning early that_ evening struck home. ^He had forgotten.
0290K21 ^Today was the third! ^The date of their monthly anniversary! $^From
0300K21 the time they*'d been hitched about three years back, celebrating the monthly
0310K21 anniversary of their wedding had become a tradition. ^It was customary
0320K21 on such days for Suresh to_ return from the office his arms
0330K21 loaded with flowers. ^It was customary on such days for her to_ turn out
0340K21 the most delectable in cuisine. ^It was customary on such days for
0350K21 romance to_ follow the customary recipe: plenty of lovey-dovey, spiced
0360K21 with radiogram music and a candle-light dinner. $^However, since Arlette*'s
0370K21 arrival, Suresh*'s enthusiasm for this ritual seemed to_ have
0380K21 waned. ^Why! recalled Sujata, only just recently he had hinted with
0390K21 words to the effect that wasn*'4t it time they returned from cloud nine
0400K21 to good old terra firma? $^For which of course Arlette was to_ blame.
0410K21 ^*Arlette had turned his head. ^It was about time she took a look
0420K21 at this Arlette, decided Sujata, though she felt she knew what to_
0430K21 expect. $^*Arlette would run true to type-- a combination of body beautiful
0440K21 with limited brain power. ^With the former making up for the deficiencies
0450K21 of the latter. ^Bacause men were men, after all. $^And as she
0460K21 conjured up a mental image of Arlette, Sujata shuddered. ^In her
0470K21 mind*'s eye she saw a *(hipster-sari-clad*) female revealing an expanse
0480K21 of midriff and sufficient cleavage to_ divert any man*'s thoughts from the
0490K21 official. $^And having been a secretary herself once, Sujata felt
0500K21 she knew what the trouble with girls like Arlette was. ^Besides, being
0510K21 poor secretaries, physical distractions included, they took their secretaryship
0520K21 beyond the pales of the office desk. ^Which became encroachment,
0530K21 if there happened to_ be a wife in the boss*'s home department.
0540K21 $^In any case, since she had made up her mind to_ give Suresh an anniversary
0550K21 gift, in spite of there being no anniversary celebration, Sujata
0560K21 now thought it would be a good idea to_ deliver her gift to the
0570K21 office that_ morning. ^That_ way she could meet Arlette. $^And Suresh
0580K21 was surprised when she arrived at the office a couple of hours later,
0590K21 all tarted up for Arlette*'s benefit. $"^Say, what brings you here?"
0600K21 he asked light-heartedly. $"^Just to_ hand over my small anniversary
0610K21 gift. ^*I forgot to_ give to you before you left home this morning,"
0620K21 she explained sweetly, sliding a gaily wrapped package across to him,
0630K21 at the same time casting covert glances at the secretarial table in
0640K21 the corner. ^But the table at that_ moment was devoid of the human aspect.
0650K21 ^*Sujata however was determined to_ sit it out till her reason for
0660K21 coming appeared. $"^Sweet of you to_ remember, dear," Suresh was saying.
0670K21 "^But you needn*'4t have troubled. ^It could have waited till evening."
0680K21 $"^But you*'3ll be late this evening." she reminded him gently
0690K21 "^You*'3re going to a painting exhibition with your secretary." $"^Darn
0700K21 it! ^*I am!... ^But look! ^If you like I could put it off in view
0710K21 of this anniversary thing." $"^Oh, don*'4t worry!" said Sujata with
0720K21 the air of a martyr, though inwardly she bristled at that_ 'thing.' "^The
0730K21 anniversary thing can wait. ^There*'is always a next time. ^Besides
0740K21 you did say it was time we took the lift down to good old terra firma,
0750K21 or some such thing." $^Before he could answer the door opened and a
0760K21 girl walked in. ^She was pretty all right, but not in a robust way. ^A
0770K21 subdued type of beauty, Sujata had to_ admit grudgingly. ^And sensibly
0780K21 dressed too, in a smart tailored suit. ^This Arlette was quite unlike
0790K21 what she had anticipated. $^And as Suresh introduced them Sujata
0800K21 didn*'4t know whether to_ be pleased or disappointed at Arlette*'s
0810KK1 inability to_ conform. ^As she took Arlette*'s proferred hand in greeting,
0820K21 and as Arlette*'s eyes swept over her assessing, it was difficult
0830K21 to_ decide whether she came up to Arlette*'s expectations of a suitable
0840K21 domestic partner for her boss. $^Within the next few minutes Sujata
0850K21 had further proof of Arette*'s not running true to type. ^For it
0860K21 was clear that Arlette was efficient, even if she did tend to_ drool
0870K21 over Suresh a bit. ^And was such proximity necessary as when she had
0880K21 her letters signed? $^Back home again, as her thoughts returned to the
0890K21 anniversary, Sujata found further cause to_ seethe. ^He*'d only made
0900K21 a feeble attempt to_ cancel his date, she recalled. ^As the day progressed,
0910K21 anger gave way to coldness. ^So much so that by the time he returned,
0920K21 bubbling over his evening with Arlette, expressed in terms of art
0930K21 appreciation, Sujata felt quite indifferent and not one bit interested
0940K21 in what Suresh had to_ say. $^Next morning Suresh was up early
0950K21 and in a tremendous hurry. $"^An important meeting today, dear," he announced,
0960K21 "would you get out my brown suit, please?" ^And shortly after,
0970K21 "Sujata, there*'is a coat button loose! ^Would you tighten it, please?"
0980K21 $^Could be it was because she was tossing the breakfast eggs in the
0990K21 pan at the time! ^Or could be it was perverse human nature at work, she
1000K21 wasn*'4t sure, but Sujata found herself answering: "^Sorry, dear!
1010K21 ^Busy at the moment. ^That_ button ought to_ hold. ^If it doesn*'4t refer
1020K21 to your secretary." $"^And what do you suppose my secretary would do?"
1030K21 he poked his head round the kitchen door to_ ask. $"^Every good secretary
1040K21 keeps an emergency work box," she informed him with great patience.
1050K21 $^However, that_ evening she learnt that this was one aspect where
1060K21 Arlette failed to_ qualify. ^Not only did she fail to_ maintain an
1070K21 emergency work box, but to Suresh*'s ill-luck, the offending button
1080K21 had dropped off during an important speech he made. $^As it plopped on
1090K21 the board room table the chairman had retrieved it and handed it back
1100K21 straignt-faced. ^Though the others in the room had pretended not to_
1110K21 notice, Suresh had suffered humiliation. ^He was hopping mad, blaming
1120K21 it on his better half. $"^Now that_*'is unfair," Sujata retorted hotly.
1130K21 "^Why don*'4t you blame her? ^Every good secretary..." $^But she
1140K21 didn*'4t get a chance to_ continue, for already he had marched out of
1150K21 earshot. $^So it had reached the pitch where she was shouldering the
1160K21 blame for Arlette, thought Sujata savagely, as she put the finishing
1170K21 touches to their dinner that_ same night. $^And in the days to_ follow
1180K21 matters grew worse. ^For it would seem that the ever-widening scope
1190K21 of the boss secretary relationship in advertising would appear to_ call
1200K21 for more and more of what in any other area would perhaps be termed
1210K21 extra-marital activity. $^As Arlette*'s secretarial tentacles spread
1220K21 from floral exhibitions to visiting libraries, Suresh began coming home
1230K21 late night after night. ^Finally Arlette was invading the home front
1240K21 even in the physical, as next Suresh started to_ bring her home evening
1250K21 after evening to_ work in the comfort of his study, as he said.
1260K21 ^Though from the giggling that_ went on Sujata felt it was both work
1270K21 and play-- more play than work. $"^Can*'4t you two finish whatever you
1280K21 have to_ at the office?" she asked peevishly one night. "^Must that_ woman
1290K21 come daily to this house?" $"^Well, you did complain that I leave
1300K21 you alone so often, so I thought this a better idea," he answered smugly.
1310K21 $^It was not so much the working at home that_ she minded. ^*Sujata
1320K21 discovered, as the days progressed. ^What drove her to distraction
1330K21 was the way Suresh kept ordering her about. ^One would think she was
1340K21 a glorified domestic! $"^Some tea, please!" "^Sandwiches, dear!" "^Omelettes
1350K21 and toast!" ^That_*'1s how it went from the moment they arrived
1360K21 till Arlette went home. ^And that_ expression on Arlette*'s face
1370K21 each time she carried a tray in was sufficient to_ bring out the worst
1380K21 in Sujata. $^When she felt she*'d had enough, Sujata decided to_
1390K21 be out one evening. ^A calculated risk, she was aware. ^Like inviting
1400K21 trouble by leaving dynamite and a box of matches in close proximity. ^Still,
1410K21 better that_ than an explosion within herself. $^However, when she
1420K21 returned late that_ same night, instead of finding traces of marital
1430K21 arson, she encountered an aggrieved spouse. $"^Where do you think you*'3ve
1440K21 been?" he demanded, the moment she stepped into view. $"^Just visiting
1450K21 my mother. ^*I haven*'4t seen her all week." she answered, all
1460K21 innocence. $"^A fine time for you to_ visit your mother." he grumbled,
1470K21 "here were we needing coffee and sandwiches! ^And not a soul around to_
1480K21 arrange a thing!" $"^So sorry, dear!" she apologised, feeling no such
1490K21 sentiment. "^But you should have asked the servant or your secretary.
1500K21 ^Everything*'1s available. ^Just a matter of preparation." $"^My secretary
1510K21 comes here to_ work, not to_ prepare meals. ^That_*'1s my wife*'s
1520K21 duty." ^He spoke with spirit. $"^Then confine your secretary to her
1530K21 domain and I*'3ll take care of mine," she retorted with equal spirit.
1540K21 $^However this ultimatum would appear to_ fall on deaf ears. ^The situation
1550K21 continued unchanged and she felt the need for sterner measures.
1560K21 ^So the day he phoned from the office to_ announce he*'1d be bringing
1570K21 the boss home to dinner, she soon formulated what measures she should
1580K21 take. $"^Short notice, I know, dear, but do rustle up something!" he
1590K21 requested. $"^Of course!" she agreed. "^Just the two of you?" $"^And
1600K21 Arlette." $"^*Arlette!" $"^Well Arlette*'1s my secretary. ^Must have
1610K21 her around in case of emergency." $^Emergency! ^Talk about lame excuses,
1620K21 she thought, furious as she slammed the receiver. ^And at that_ precise
1630K21 moment the idea came. ^If there was to_ be an emergency she*'1d
1640K21 create one. $^Spirits uplifting, she set to the task at once. ^First
1650K21 she shopped to_ get in the raw materials for the menu. ^Next, to_ lend
1660K21 credence to the emergency, as well as to_ prevent it being excuse for
1670K21 going out to dinner, she made sure to_ partly prepare each item, like
1680K21 the Chicken Maryland which remained to_ be fried, the vegetables all
1690K21 pared and ready to_ boil. ^The salad she diced but left untossed, with
1700K21 the custard pudding just short of being popped into the oven. ^Finally,
1710K21 neglecting to_ lay the table, and after giving the servant the rest
1720K21 of the day off, she headed for bed with a simulated headache. $^When
1730K21 Suresh arrived, both boss and secretary in tow, he came upon a situation
1740K21 quite unforeseen.*#
        **[no. of words = 02012**]

        **[txt. k22**]
0010K22 **<*3Amitabh*0**> $^He hugged her from behind. ^She turned round surprised,
0020K22 perplexed. ^She saw him but could not figure out who he could be.
0030K22 ^She had not known anybody twenty-five years old, six-foot-tall, with
0040K22 broad shoulders, robust body, long brownish hair. ^He beamed a smile
0050K22 and said: "*_^Did you recognize me?" ^She concentrated on his face
0060K22 to_ find a cue or clue which may remind her of who he could be. ^She
0070K22 scanned her memories, turned over her reminiscences and mentally pictured
0080K22 all men she had met in the past. ^But no, she couldn*'4t recall him.
0090K22 ^He shot another smile, improving through his eyes, "^Recognize me
0100K22 Madam! he wanted to_ open his mouth too, to_ say, these words but
0110K22 was so much overwhelmed with respect, affection and several other emotions
0120K22 that he felt a lump in his throat. ^He mumbled, "^Ma... Madam".
0130K22 ^That very moment she could recall him. ^She said, "^*Amitabh. ^It
0140K22 is you?" ^Her face lit up. ^Her eyes twinkled. ^A warm shudder ran through
0150K22 her body, originating from the inner-most recesses of her heart.
0160K22 ^She held his hands between hers and asked him. "^How have you been?
0170K22 ^What are you doing these days?" $"^*I am an engineer with Sammier*'s International
0180K22 Corporation... a firm that_ manufactures electronic goods"
0190K22 $"^How have you all these years, Madam?" **[sic**] $"^Very well. ^You
0200K22 have grown so big and important". $^Before Amitabh could say anything,
0210K22 Mrinalini Mukherjee-- that_ was her name-- took leave of him.
0220K22 ^She had to_ hurry up to_ attend a conference with the Chairman of her
0230K22 School Management Committee who was a high-brow-- a stiff-necked
0240K22 person. ^She did not want to_ offend him by getting late, though she really
0250K22 desired to_ spend a little more time with Amitabh. ^She had met
0260K22 him after ten long years. ^She walked first, somewhat haltingly not being
0270K22 able to_ decide whether she should know more about Amitabh or rush
0280K22 up for the conference. ^However, her feet carried her forward towards
0290K22 her school for her unconscious deference to duty overpowered her conscious
0300K22 desire to_ know more about Amitabh. $^No sooner had the conference
0310K22 with the Chairman been over than Mrinalini ordered tea. ^She relaxed
0320K22 in her chair, now looking at the fumes arising from her tea, now
0330K22 listening to the beats of her heart, now looking out through the window
0340K22 glass. ^She saw that the tops of the cedar trees in the glen opposite
0350K22 her were playing with clouds, swinging like small girls in a children*'s
0360K22 park. ^She was attracted by them, by the freedom with which they
0370K22 were now swinging, now dancing. ^She yearned for freedom. ^She wanted
0380K22 to_ be a cloud, to_ scud in the air freely, to_ rain over parched lands
0390K22 to_ burst upon deserts. ^She wanted to_ make the entire world green
0400K22 and full of vegetation, trees, orchards and happiness. ^But she could
0410K22 not do that_ for she was tethered to_ the Principal*'s post. ^Resignation
0420K22 from it would mean starvation not for her but for her rheumatic father
0430K22 and her young, very young, brothers and sisters. ^She had longed
0440K22 for freedom many a time before also, but had ultimately decided to_
0450K22 give the society whatever she could, by serving it from her official
0460K22 position only. ^This partial fulfilment left such a wound in her heart
0470K22 that it ached with the floating of clouds, with the blowing of breeze,
0480K22 with the chirping of birds, with the weeping of hungry children, with
0490K22 the shouting of angry mothers, with adolescents taking hashish, with
0500K22 vice brow beating virtue... $^All of a sudden, Mrinalini felt she slipped
0510K22 back in her memory by a decade. ^She saw a fifteen year-old Amitabh,
0520K22 emerging from yonder clouds, coming toward her along with his mother,
0530K22 who was a real beauty, a Venus, a lady having Frecian nose, chiselled
0540K22 lips, Indo-Iranian face, Cleopatran figure, and a soft and
0550K22 supple body. ^She was known as Julia. ^She requested Mrinalini to_ admit
0560K22 Amitabh in class *=11 of her school. ^*Mrinalini, seeing Amitabh*'s
0570K22 long flowing hair, Hippie trousers, and unkempt appearance felt a
0580K22 little annoyed. ^She was about to_ say 'no', when she saw a beseeching
0590K22 look in Amitabh*'s liquid eyes. ^She did not know why it touched her
0600K22 so much that she could not utter 'no'. ^She did not say 'yes' either.
0610K22 ^She said that she would examine the case and would give a final reply
0620K22 after two days. ^*Amitabh left, Julia trudged behind, and still behind
0630K22 lingered on the fragrance of the perfume worn by her. ^The fragrance
0640K22 entered into Mrinalini*'s nostrils. ^She found it repulsive, repugnant.
0650K22 ^She blew it out, as though it was polluted... polluted by the inner
0660K22 dirt of its wearer. $^She soliloquised, "^Is Julia as dirty from
0670K22 within as tidy she is from outside? ^Is her soul as ugly as beautiful
0680K22 her body is? ^Is she a Tajmahal converted into a demon*'s den? ^Is
0690K22 she the one who has put Shankracharya, Buddha, Mahavira and all other
0700K22 Indian saints and sages to shame? ^Is she the defiler of Indian
0710K22 culture, traditions and morals? ^Is she her namesake a contemporary of
0720K22 Ovid? ^Did Ovid*'s Julia not put Augustus to ignominy? ^Is she the
0730K22 kind of Julia*'s daughter. ^*Julia minor? ^Is she....? $^*Mrinalini
0740K22 hated to_ be reminded of any Julia, the one she had seen or the ones
0750K22 she had read about. ^She tried to_ dispel all Julias from her mind
0760K22 by diverting her attention to something else, something more palatable,
0770K22 something more enjoyable. ^She sipped hot tea, and looked at the clouds.
0780K22 ^She saw in them the man, the \0VIP, a leading luminary of
0790K22 the country who had told her on telephone ten years ago in a very authoritarian,
0800K22 intimidating and harsh tone to_ admit Amitabh. ^She was
0810K22 also reminded of one other pressure put on her by a great political
0820K22 personage who used the charms of his honey-and-milk voice to_ persuade
0830K22 her to_ admit Amitabh. ^She had said 'no' to both the \0VIPs, for
0840K22 she did not want to_ admit a Hippie in her school, and create bad company
0850K22 for other students. ^She did not want to_ act against the information
0860K22 given her by her Vice-Principal who had told her that Amitabh
0870K22 had been rusticated three years ago from a high school for committing
0880K22 theft, and that he had been hauled up a month before in a college for
0890K22 eve-teasing. ^She knew that the \0VIPs would create problems for
0900K22 her. ^She knew that Julia had a very powerful lobby and could create
0910K22 hell for her. ^But she would prefer to_ live in hell rather than succumb
0920K22 to pressure, admit wrong children, spoil her school and in return
0930K22 seek promotion, power and money. ^She was not a selfseeker. ^Earlier
0940K22 also, she had sacrificed her personal interests for the welfare of her
0950K22 students. ^She decided to_ do the same again. $^Two days later, Amitabh*'s
0960K22 mother attired in a maxi, got down from a car, escorted by an
0970K22 elegantly dressed man. ^She went straight to Mrinalini*'s office. ^*Amitabh
0980K22 and the escort followed suit. ^The escort was known as Sagar.
0990K22 ^He spoke chaste English and appeared an aristocrat. ^He requested
1000K22 Mrinalini to_ tell him her decision about Amitabh. ^*Mrinalini expressed
1010K22 her inability to_ admit him. ^She said that the boy had been rusticated
1020K22 from \0St. Martin High School. ^He had been hauled up for
1030K22 eve-teasing at Barons*' College. ^He was a drug addict. ^He smoked
1040K22 marijuana and hashish. ^*Mrinalini added that she had never allowed anybody,
1050K22 even a teacher to_ smoke a cigarette in her school, what to_ speak
1060K22 of marijuana or hashish. $^*Amitabh heard all these things being said
1070K22 about him. ^He looked at Mrinalini with his entreating liquid eyes.
1080K22 ^*Mrinalini was again touched. ^Something inexplicable happened to
1090K22 her. ^She experienced the message which Amitabh was transmitting to her
1100K22 silently. "^Madam, you must not reject me. ^*I am not what I am,
1110K22 I have been made what I am. ^*I have been a hated dog. ^*I have been
1120K22 treated like a football and given kicks by one and all and in all directions.
1130K22 ^So I have become a football, a football kicked into a dirty
1140K22 ditch. ^*I have been polluted. ^Will you not purify me? ^*I beseech you.
1150K22 ^Will you not? ^*I am your supplicant. ^Please admit me for mercy*'s
1160K22 sake. ^Mercy is said to_ be twice blessed. ^It blesses him that_ gives
1170K22 and him that_ takes." $^*Mrinalini looked at Amitabh*'s sallow face
1180K22 and pallid cheeks. ^She entered his bruised heart through his sad eyes
1190K22 and read the message which his inner wounds were revealing. ^The message
1200K22 shook Mrinalini*'s heart, blew the wind out of her. ^She felt
1210K22 her energy sapped and marrow dried. ^She felt very weak before Amitabh*'s
1220K22 strong entreaty. ^She felt that her spirit was lacerated and would
1230K22 remain so, if she did not admit Amitabh. ^But she would not, unconditionally...
1240K22 $^She asked Amitabh "^Do you smoke cigarettes?" $"^*I do,
1250K22 Madam, ^Everybody smokes at home. ^My mother does it." $"^All right.
1260K22 ^But you will not smoke in the school". $"\0^*O.K." $"^You will also
1270K22 not bring marijuana and hashish to the school". $"\0^*O.K." $"^You will
1280K22 come to the school in the uniform prescribed by us". $"\0^*O.K." $^*Amitabh
1290K22 was admitted. ^He came to the school regularly, but was now and
1300K22 then found under the influence of drugs. ^*Mrinalini noticed that_
1310K22 herself, as she was keeping a close eye on him. ^She felt initially perturbed
1320K22 but later thought that she could perhaps help Amitabh by speaking
1330K22 to him personally. ^Accordingly she started calling him to her office
1340K22 every Monday morning and chatted with him informally for ten minutes.
1350K22 ^During these chatting sessions, she discovered that Amitabh*'s
1360K22 mother had divorced his father and had lived for some years with a big
1370K22 shot, and then had deserted him too and had started living with Sagar.
1380K22 ^*Sagar often passed sarcastic remarks at Amitabh. ^He would taunt
1390K22 the latter for being Julia*'s darling... a doll. ^He would scold
1400K22 Julia too for being soft to Amitabh. ^He said that she had spoiled the
1410K22 boy by pampering him. ^He forbade her from speaking to Amitabh just
1420K22 as David Copperfield*'s stepfather, Murdstone had forbidden David
1430K22 Copperfield*'s mother from speaking to David Copperfield. $^*Sagar
1440K22 would beat Amitabh on the pretext of being firm with him. ^He would
1450K22 lock the latter in a solitary room on the second storey of his house
1460K22 and get food served him once a day. ^During these spells of solitary
1470K22 confinement, Amitabh missed his mother most and felt so estranged, neglected
1480K22 and emotionally choked that he would often burst into tears and
1490K22 cry incessantly. ^One day while crying he saw a match box lying in
1500K22 a corner and a few stumps of cigarettes strewn over the floor. ^He picked
1510K22 up a stump and smoked it. ^He saw in the haze of the smoke his mother
1520K22 approaching him to_ free him from the lock up but she was intercepted
1530K22 by Sagar who hit her so hard that she was flung upon the floor.
1540K22 ^*Amitabh wiped his tears, shook his head. ^His mother was not there.
1550K22 ^He lit another stump. ^He again saw in its haze his mother approaching
1560K22 him but she was again intercepted by Sagar. ^He lit a third stump,
1570K22 and then a fourth to_ see his mother again and again in the haze of the
1580K22 smoke. ^He repeated this to_ see his mother in the haze of his cigarette-smoke
1590K22 whenever he was in the lock up and thus picked up the habit
1600K22 of smoking. ^He would steal cigarettes, smoke them and would see behind
1610K22 the smoke his mother. ^He would smoke cigarette after cigarette and
1620K22 talk to his mother, who was inaccessible to him in real life. ^When he
1630K22 could not steal or buy cigarettes, he would steal the domestic servant*'s
1640K22 *4bidis. ^One day he couldn*'4t get even *4bidis. ^He then wrapped
1650K22 a paper and smoked leaf, later marijuana and hashish. ^In this way
1660K22 Amitabh became a drug addict. ^But drugs could not drown his tears.
1670K22 ^When alone he would miss his mother and cry. ^He would also sometimes
1680K22 burst into tears and sob incessantly while describing his predicament
1690K22 and misery to Mrinalini during the informal chatting sessions.*#
        **[no. of words = 02011**]

        **[txt. k23**]
0010K23 **<*3THE TREE*0**> $^Right from the time the season was on the brink
0020K23 of monsoon the village elders had begun to_ look grave. ^The sinister cloud
0030K23 formation on the mountains several miles away, and a wide ring of
0040K23 uncanny aura around the moon had informed them that there were terrible
0050K23 days ahead. $^The flood came at a little past midnight. ^Although the village
0060K23 abounded in quality sleep the jackals, with their long moaning howls,
0070K23 managed to_ wake up several people who called out to each other and,
0080K23 reassured of a collective awareness, soon gathered on the river bank
0090K23 with lanterns, or torches of dry twigs. ^The flames danced in the gusts
0100K23 making their faces alternately appear and disappear. $^The moon was
0110K23 fully draped in clouds and the stars looked pallid as the eyes of dead
0120K23 fish. ^Nothing much could be seen of the river, but one could feel it
0130K23 bulging and hear it hissing like a thousand-hooded cobra. ^The wind carried
0140K23 the smell of crushed raw earth. $^Flood waters never entered this village,
0150K23 although hardly a season passed without the river playing havoc
0160K23 with the villages a couple of miles downstream. ^The people down there
0170K23 knew when to_ go over to their roofs or perch on the trees. ^After three
0180K23 or four days they descended and took root again. $^But even though flood
0190K23 did not enter this village, it nibbled at the high ridge and once in
0200K23 a while gobbled up a chunk of the grassland stretching along the bank.
0210K23 $^The villagers felt scandalised every time their familiar tame river
0220K23 expanded and looked alien and began hissing. ^It gave the sort of shock
0230K23 which one experienced when a domestic animal suddenly went crazy, behaving
0240K23 wildly and not responding to any amount of endearment. ^One just looked
0250K23 on helplessly. $^And that_ is what the villagers were doing, when
0260K23 they suddenly realised that the situation was much more grave than they
0270K23 had imagined. ^They heard a chugging and the faint sound of voices already
0280K23 tired and cracking. ^They raised their lanterns. ^At that_ the voices
0290K23 grew more plaintive. ^The villagers strained their eyes to_ see through
0300K23 the darkness and the mist. ^A few of them could make out the black
0310K23 lump passing on the ashen waters and shouted the only sensible advice that_
0320K23 could be given to a boat caught up in the first rush of a flood: "^Have
0330K23 patience. ^As soon as it is dawn the villagers downstream will throw
0340K23 ropes and save you. ^Keep on shouting. ^*God be with you." $^Such boats
0350K23 generally came from the forest at the foot of the mountains where they
0360K23 went to_ collect timber. ^Sometimes they were given another stock advice:
0370K23 "^Throw away the load and make the vessel lighter, but do not go too
0380K23 light." ^A too light vessel became a plaything for rollicking waves.
0390K23 $^The sound from the darkness became fainter and remote, random syllables
0391K23 blown away
0400K23 by the erratic wind. $^And the wind grew stronger and colder and was
0410K23 soon accompanied by a thin shower. ^All ran to_ take shelter under the
0420K23 *4banian tree. ^The wicks of the lanterns had to_ be turned low so that
0430K23 the glass cooled down enough not to_ crack at the splinters of raindrops.
0440K23 $^The leaves chattered incessantly their familiar language of hope and
0450K23 courage. ^The innumerable boughs that_ spread overhead had been the
0460K23 very symbol of protection for generations, affording shelter not only to
0470K23 those who bore love and regard for the tree, but even to such people
0480K23 who had been impudent towards it, of course, so far as the latter were
0490K23 concerned, only after humbling them to their knees. ^The elders would point
0500K23 at a mound covered with grass and shrubs, not far from the tree, while
0510K23 citing the ancient-most proof of this fact. ^The mound had decayed through
0520K23 centuries, but it was still "as high as two men." ^They did not expect
0530K23 anyone to_ ignore a fact so solid and as high as two men. $^The mound
0540K23 contained the ruins of a certain king*'s palace. ^It was neither possible
0550K23 nor necessary to_ recall the name of the king who had built it, or
0560K23 whether he had been of the solar or the lunar dynasty. ^What was frequently
0570K23 recalled was that he had dared to_ cut down a few branches of the
0580K23 tree to_ make room for his palace. ^Perhaps he had planned to_ cut more,
0590K23 perhaps even to_ totally destroy the tree, but before he could do so
0600K23 a terrific storm had broken out. ^The palace collapased. ^The king and
0610K23 his family took shelter under the tree and were saved. ^The king clasped
0620K23 the tree and wept. ^The storm subsided. $^Further back in time, it
0630K23 was said, the tree had taken off and flown to the Himalayas or other such
0640K23 meaningful places, at the behest of a certain great soul who lived under
0650K23 it. ^But that_ was in the Era of Truth, and in the absence of
0651K23 some
0660K23 concrete evidence like the mound to_ support this legend, elders of the
0670K23 present generation spoke relatively less about it than had their predecessors.
0680K23 $^The trunk that_ had once been clasped by the king had decayed
0690K23 and disappeared since time immemorial, after sending down numerous shoots
0700K23 which had formed new trunks. ^The tree with its branches spreading over
0710K23 an acre resting on these trunks had become an institution long ago.
0720K23 $^At the foot of one of the trunks rested the tiny '*4banian goddess.'
0730K23 ^She had no regular priest attached to her. ^Whoever so desired could
0740K23 approach her and sprinkle vermilion on her. ^In the course of generations
0750K23 the vermilion crust had come to_ account for the greater part of the
0760K23 goddess*'s body. ^Devotees ordinarily did not prostrate themselves to
0770K23 her, but everybody, while passing before her, bowed enough for her to_
0780K23 take cognizance of his or her devotion. ^In matters complex and formidable
0790K23 in nature, the villagers prayed for the intervention of famous deities
0800K23 of distant temples. ^But small issues were referred to her from time
0810K23 to time. ^Children in particular found her quite helpful in regard
0811K23 to crises
0820K23 arising from undone homeworks **[sic**] or the ill humour of the
0821K23 *4pandits of
0830K23 the primary school. $^The area before another trunk was the usual site
0840K23 for the village meetings. $^Relaxing beside a neighbouring trunk, eyes
0850K23 shut and jaws moving in a leisurely rhythm, could be found the much revered
0860K23 sacred bull of the village. $^In the afternoons of the bi-weekly market
0870K23 days, an old woman coming from a village on the horizon sat leaning
0880K23 against another trunk with a sack half filled with greens and/ or
0890K23 drumsticks. ^The market, still two miles distant, was her goal, but her
0900K23 knees, she would declare with a quiet toothless laugh, had refused to_
0910K23 serve her any more, obliging her to_ sell her wares sitting there. ^At
0920K23 sunset she would rise and offer a handful of whatever still remained in
0930K23 her sack to the sacred bull. $^In a hollow at the foot of another trunk
0940K23 resided a family of snakes which had earned the reputation of being conscientious
0950K23 and harmless and, in the branches above, rested a legion of
0960K23 birds. $^The tree was taken to_ be immortal by all without anybody having
0970K23 to_ be told about it. ^Immortality being an attribute of the gods,
0980K23 it was godly. ^Nobody would easily flout a decision that_ had been arrived
0990K23 at in a meeting under the tree, for even when the decision was unpalatable
1000K23 to a party, it knew that behind it there was the seal of some
1010K23 power, invisible and inaudible though. $^The rain stopped though not the
1020K23 wind. ^The first touch of awe and excitement passed. ^They could all go
1030K23 back to their homes now-- to_ return again in batches in the morning.
1040K23 ^It was more out of the respect for the river-- to_ show that they had
1041K23 taken
1050K23 due note of her changing mood-- than from any fear of the flood that
1060K23 some people must always gather at her edge. $^A crashing sound stunned
1070K23 them. ^Suddenly the earth seemed to_ rock. ^A few who were nearest the river
1080K23 were splashed; had they been standing a few feet farther they would
1090K23 have been gone forever. ^In the dark no one had observed the crack that_
1100K23 had developed on the ground before the huge chunk of the bank slipped
1110K23 into the water. $^*Nirakar Das, the retired *(head-*4pundit*) of the
1120K23 primary school, shouted, "^Come away, come away, you all!" ^The authoritative
1130K23 voice was instantly obeyed. $^A few snakes crept out of the hollow
1140K23 under the tree and wriggled away towards the mound. ^Some saw only
1150K23 one snake, some saw two and some three, but to all it appeared the exodus
1160K23 of a thousand snakes, a stream of life abandoning its ancient body.
1170K23 $^It was now about dawn. ^*Nirakar Das advanced near the tree and looked
1180K23 up for a long time. "^My eyes are gone," he declared again as he had
1190K23 on countless occasions during the past decade, and scanning the people
1200K23 who were now beginning to_ extinguish their lanterns and torches, called
1210K23 one of his ex-pupils, Ravindra, the founder-proprietor of the village*'s
1220K23 sole grocery, and asked him to_ look up and see if there were any
1230K23 birds on the tree. $^*Ravindra and others gazed up into the branches for
1240K23 a while and reported their finding: "^No, not a single feather can be
1250K23 traced!" $^*Nirakar Das looked glum. "^Can any of you recollect another
1260K23 instance like this?" he asked the people of his age-group. "^No."
1270K23 ^They too looked grave and shook their heads. $"^Far from a good sign,"
1280K23 Nirakar Das observed, "snakes and birds fleeing this great shelter!"
1290K23 $^Not long after this Ravindra and others with better eyesight detected
1300K23 an extensive crack, in the shape of a sickle, with both its ends pointing
1310K23 towards the river. ^The semi-circle embraced the tree. $"^If the tree
1320K23 falls, it will carry this whole huge chunk along with it into the river,
1330K23 for its innumerable roots have made this much of earth like a single
1340K23 cake," a young man explained to his two friends. ^They were the only
1350K23 boys from the village studying in a college in the town. ^This was their
1360K23 first visit to the village after they had grown long hair and side-locks.
1370K23 $"^What! ^The tree fall? ^How dare you say so? ^How much do you know
1380K23 about this tree?" an old *4Brahmin notorious for bad temper shouted
1390K23 at them. $"^They have developed bones in their tongues," commented Ravindra.
1400K23 "^You are studying in the college, aren*'4t you? ^Come on, save
1410K23 the tree with your English, algebra and all that_ abracadabra," he challenged
1420K23 them. $"^Why should we?" the spokesman of the trio said sniffily.
1430K23 $"^Why should you? ^As if you could, only if you pleased! ^Is this what
1440K23 you imply? ^Well, please do it out of pity for us, out of pity for fourteen
1450K23 generations of our forefathers! ^Whould you?" ^This time Ravindra
1460K23 was supported by a number of people. ^The young man blinked and muttered,
1470K23 "^What I meant was, how can we save the tree?" $"^Now it*'1s how
1480K23 can we! ^If this is the limit of your capacity how dared you grow such
1490K23 obscene hair?" demanded the bad tempered *4Brahmin tauntingly. $"^Look
1500K23 here, my young fathers! ^Just promise, not loudly, but silently within
1510K23 your hearts-- let none but the spirit of the tree know-- that if the
1520K23 tree is saved you will shorten your hair! ^Please, my fathers, make a
1530K23 solemn promise," implored ^Shrikanta Das, the meek and mild *4Vaishnav,
1540K23 his palms joined in the shape of a lotus bud, out of humility. $^As
1550K23 the sky in the East grew brighter it was observed that the ground between
1560K23 the tree and the river had already tilted towards the river. $^The
1570K23 young men tried to_ appear engrossed in discussing some thing highly
1580K23 sophisticated among themselves. ^*Shrikanta Das raised his voice and whimpered,
1590K23 "^Hearken, you all! ^Not only these boys but we all have our shares
1600K23 of sin. ^And if the tree is going to_ collapse, it is because it
1610K23 cannot bear the burden of our sins any more.*#
        **[no. of words = 02008**]

        **[txt.k24**]
0010K24 **<*3Just A Matter Of Time*0**> **[leader comment begin**] ^With
0011K24 three generations living under
0020K24 the same roof, a valiant attempt was made by Naniji, aged seventy,
0030K24 to_ bridge the communication gap. **[leader comment end**] $*3^Each*0
0031K24 member of the household
0040K24 was undergoing a crisis of sorts, from Naniji, aged seventy, to her grandson
0050K24 Ravi, aged nineteen. $^*Naniji had for many years enjoyed a stimulating
0060K24 relationship with God, praying to him, scolding him, appeasing
0070K24 him and bribing him, as the occasion demanded. ^The fervour and length
0080K24 of this already elaborate and noisy ritual (for she wanted God to_
0090K24 hear her) had mounted with the years. ^Now it had reached its climax,
0100K24 for Naniji felt the time had come for her to_ depart to the next world.
0110K24 ^After all, she had done her duty, produced three sons and three
0120K24 daughters, married them all off, been a devoted wife, a loving mother and
0130K24 a generous grandmother. $^Only one more bargain remained to_ be made
0140K24 with God. ^Her eldest grandchild, Meena, a girl of twenty-one, had
0150K24 to_ be settled in life. $"^Please let me become a greatgrandmother,
0160K24 God," she begged, "before you decide to_ take me." ^The thought that
0170K24 He might decide to_ extract payment for His many blessings before the
0180K24 event could take place worried her, causing sleepless nights. ^Even
0190K24 her blood-pressure rose alarmingly. $"^Less sugar and sweets," the doctor
0200K24 said, looking shrewdly over her flushed but nevertheless hearty countenance.
0210K24 $"^Has my time come, doctor?" she asked in her weakest voice.
0220K24 $"^No." $"^Ah, may God let me live for another two years at least,"
0230K24 she sighed and leaned back against the chair, smiling bravely at the
0240K24 doctor. $"^*God helps those who help themselves," was the uncompromising
0250K24 reply. $^Then there was her son, with whom she was living. ^He was
0260K24 due to_ retire in another few months. ^His future seemed bleak. ^A daughter
0270K24 to_ marry off, a son to_ educate and few prospects of getting another
0280K24 job at his age. ^He worried in silence, staring into space and
0290K24 refusing to_ talk it over with anyone-- no, not even with his own mother.
0300K24 $"^All right, all right, you don*'4t have to_ tell me," she conceded.
0310K24 "^But *3pray,*0 my son, pray. ^What is God for? ^Tell Ganesh you will
0320K24 have a *3*4puja*0 for him if you get another job, he will surely
0330K24 grant your wishes. ^After all, hasn*'4t he granted mine?" $"^Bribery,"
0340K24 said Ravi succinctly. $"^Do not say such a thing, God will punish
0350K24 you," said Naniji automatically. ^She did not understand English but
0360K24 the word sounded sarcastic and uncomplimentary to the Almighty. "^What
0370K24 did you say? ^Say it in Hindi." $"^Bribery," repeated Ravi in English,
0380K24 "whether at the altar of the Almighty or the politician, is a
0390K24 matter of deep belief in their respective abilities to_ succumb. ^Qualitatively
0400K24 similar and quantitatively merely a difference of coconuts and
0410K24 cash." $"^Don*'4t use big words," his mother said. "^Just because you*'3re
0420K24 doing your \0BA doesn*'4t mean you know everything. ^Show some
0430K24 respect to your grandmother, even if she doesn*'4t understand you. ^You
0440K24 don*'4t even make an effort to_ learn your own mother tongue. ^Think
0450K24 how happy it would make her if you did. ^Learn to_ give happiness to
0460K24 people, all you modern children are so selfish." $"^The whole concept
0470K24 of happiness, mother dearest, is outdated. ^Your philosophy is disarmingly
0480K24 simple, but I guess that_*'1s the sort of thing that_ sustains
0490K24 you in your utopia of household bliss. $"^Be quiet," she said in exasperation.
0500K24 ^She would never understand him. ^Why was he always so sarcastic?
0510K24 ^Half the time she could not understand what he said. $*3^Once,*0
0520K24 determined to_ bridge the "generation gap", she had asked him what exactly
0530K24 was troubling him, why he was so moody and withdrawn and why he
0540K24 spent all his spare time shut in his room, listening to that_ terrible
0550K24 music. ^Of course she didn*'4t tell him it was terrible-- he would have
0560K24 gone off into one of his eulogies on the "beautiful lyrics". ^What
0570K24 lyrics? ^They couldn*'4t even be *3heard*0 with all that_ wild drumming
0580K24 and even wilder shrieking. ^Cacophonia, her husband called it. ^It drove
0590K24 everyone mad, Naniji in particular, who said it interfered with
0600K24 her *4puja. ^When his mother told him this, he shrugged his shoulders
0610K24 in that_ infuriating way and said: "^Well, her *4puja*'2s been waking
0620K24 me up every morning at 5 \0a.m. for the last six years." $^*Naniji was
0630K24 shocked and hurt by his reply. "^How can you compare the two, *4beta?"
0640K24 $"^How? ^Well, you*'3re devoted to your music, I to mine. ^Your music
0650K24 disturbs me, mine disturbs you. ^*I can*'4t understand your kind of
0660K24 music and you can*'4t understand my kind." $^He was severely reprimanded
0670K24 for his rudeness by his father and with less severity but as much
0680K24 feeling by his mother. ^So, when she asked him what was wrong, he
0690K24 drew in a deep breath and hissed: "^Have you ever heard of alienation?"
0700K24 $^She looked at him blankly. $"^Or of an identity crisis?" $^She looked
0710K24 even blanker. $"^Or of someone trying to *3find*0 himself?" $^Here
0720K24 she sat up and eagerly said: "^Oh I know, like all those hippies you
0730K24 read about in *3Time*0 magazine." $^Her son*'s expression was unfathomable.
0740K24 "^A penetrating observation," he said. ^She countinued looking
0750K24 expectantly at him but he returned to his book and her desire to_ bridge
0760K24 the generation gap ebbed immediately. $^Being a mother had its problems.
0770K24 ^What did they know of her burdens, these children? ^They were absorbed
0780K24 in themselves and their own problems (if one could call them that_)
0790K24 were of their own making. ^Alienation-- was that_ something concrete?
0800K24 ^How would they know how much she had struggled in the first few years
0810K24 of her marriage, skimping and saving and stretching her husband*'s
0820K24 salary as far as possible. ^They had it all now, the comforts and security
0830K24 of a house, the best of education, food, clothes, books and music.
0840K24 ^They didn*'4t have to_ start from scratch. ^Why, Ravi even had
0850K24 a motorcycle, given to him on his eighteenth birthday and he*'1d go roaring
0860K24 down those crowded roads with some silly giggling girl clutching
0870K24 hold of him. ^He brought them home sometimes, attractive things with
0880K24 flyaway hair and tight shirts. ^He should be thankful she was modern.
0890K24 ^Why, how many mothers would give so much freedom to their children? ^All
0900K24 they gave in return were high-sounding words. $^*Meena was no better
0910K24 than her brother. ^She spoke of Women*'s Liberation and equality
0920K24 and lost her temper at the slightest provocation. ^That_*'1s what came
0930K24 of educating a girl so much. ^She became too independent and assertive.
0940K24 ^It was all right for a boy but a girl should be pliant. ^She said
0950K24 so to Meena and almost retreated at the force of her outburst. ^It
0960K24 was all a matter of social conditioning, her daughter said furiously,
0970K24 there was no such thing as different domains biologically determined for
0980K24 men and women. $"^Look at Ravi and me," she pointed out. "^We *'3re
0990K24 different because of the different ways you*'3ve brought us up, the
1000K24 different values you*'3ve ingrained in us, the different expectations
1010K24 you have of us." $"^In short, we*'3ve brought you up wrongly. ^Yes,
1020K24 yes, please go on! ^So it has come to this, when our own childern accuse
1030K24 us of bringing them up badly--" $"^Mummy, I didn*'4t--" $"^No, no, don*'4t
1040K24 say anything, I know what you young people are like. ^This is the
1050K24 gratitude you show us. ^O God, after all these years--" $"^Forget it,
1060K24 you*'3ll never understand. ^You insist on going off on a tangent. ^You
1070K24 haven*'4t got the point at all." $"^Oh yes," her mother said, goaded.
1080K24 "^*I haven*'4t got the point. ^Just because I haven*'4t done my \0MA
1090K24 like you doesn*'4t mean I know any less. ^*I have experience. ^All
1100K24 your knowledge is theoretical. ^Remember that_, *3I*0 have experience."
1110K24 $"^Your experience, Mummy," said Meena, "is limited to the narrow
1120K24 confines of your home, husband and children. ^And before your marriage,
1130K24 to your parents and their home. ^What do you know of *3life?"*0 $"^And
1140K24 what do *3you*0 know, pray?" asked her mother, infuriated. "^What
1150K24 can you do now that I couldn*'4t at your age? ^*I could do everything
1160K24 and more than you!" $"^Like?" $"^Like cooking and needlework and flower
1170K24 decorations-- look at you-- twentyone years old and you can*'4t even
1180K24 sew a button, let alone cook a meal. ^You should be--" $"^You*'3re
1190K24 being obtuse, Mummy. ^That_ isn*'4t *3experience."*0 $"^The point, my
1200K24 child, is that your kind of experience means shirking work. ^Look at
1210K24 your room, it*'1s in such a mess, books, books everywhere, all very intellectual
1220K24 maybe, but I want tidiness. ^*I*'3ve had enough of your intellectualness--"
1230K24 $"^Intellectualism." $"^Intellectual-- whatever-it-is,
1240K24 don*'4t keep correcting me. ^How will you ever look after your husband
1250K24 at the rate you*'3re going?" $"^*I don*'4t plan to_ marry so don*'4t
1260K24 talk about husbands." $"^You don*'4t plan to_ marry?" $"^At least, not
1270K24 in the near future." $"^What did she say, what did she say?" Naniji
1280K24 had abandoned her *4puja as the voices rose, she couldn*'4t bear to_
1290K24 miss a family fight. $^Mother told her. $"^My child," said Naniji,
1300K24 going to Meena and patting her cheek. "^What are you saying? ^This is
1310K24 no way for a girl to_ talk. ^Never mind, everyone is shy in the beginning.
1320K24 ^It is only natural--" $"^SHY!" shrieked Meena. $"^Shhhh... not
1330K24 so loud." $"^*I am not shy! ^*I shall marry *3when I please, whether
1340K24 twenty-one or thirty-one--' $"^No, baby, no," her mother sounded anguished.
1350K24 "^One has difficulty bearing children at that_ age, why \0Mrs
1360K24 Varma told me--" $"^And I shall marry *3whom I please, Hindu,
1370K24 Muslim or Christian."
1380K24 $"^No, no, no," wailed her mother. "^Not a Muslim
1390K24 or a Christian, don*'4t, please don*'4t, you don*'4t know what they
1400K24 are like. ^They*'3ll convert you and all your children will have to_
1410K24 be Muslims or Christians and--" $"^What did she say, what did she say?"
1420K24 asked Naniji. $^Mother repeated it. $"*5^Chee, chee, chee*6," Naniji
1430K24 looked positively sick. "^Don*'4t even talk of it. ^Do you know
1440K24 what the Muslims did to us during the partition, do you know?" $"^Yes,
1450K24 I know and I don*'4t care. ^You needn*'4t get so worked up Naniji,
1460K24 I was just speaking hypothetically, I don*'4t have anyone in mind,
1470K24 don*'4t worry." $"^Maybe, maybe, but," Naniji folded her hands and
1480K24 closed her eyes fervently, "don*'4t even *3think of such a possibility.
1490K24 ^And child," here she exchanged a glance with Meena*'s mother,
1500K24 "this is the time to_ tell you, we have someone in mind for you, *3very
1510K24 nice boy, handsome-- fair and tall-- a reputable family and earning so
1520K24 well--" $"^And," her mother interrupted her, "it isn*'4t as though we
1530K24 aren*'4t bothered about what you want. ^*I*'3ve found out that the boy
1540K24 is very intellectual, he reads *3Time, Reader*'s Digest and all
1550K24 those magazines." $^At this point Meena burst into tears. "^Talking
1560K24 to you people," she said thickly, "is like banging my head against a
1570K24 stone wall. ^*I can*'4t go through such a thing. ^*I*'3ll be betraying
1580K24 myself if I do. ^*I want a natural, honest relationship with a man--"
1590K24 $"^Oh yes, honest relationship," her mother began to_ cry too. "^You modern
1600K24 girls and boys are all the same-- for you honesty means living together
1610K24 in sin and then boasting about it to the whole world! ^Is that_
1620K24 your honesty-- like that_ Kabir Bedi and Parveen Babi and his terrible
1630K24 wife Protima with their successive beautiful relationships!" $"wow!"
1640K24 said her son, admiringly, having entered the room at this point. "^Your
1650K24 general knowledge is improving. ^The advantages of a wide reading,
1660K24 no doubt." $"^Be quiet," his mother wept with greater abandon now.
1670K24 "^All that_ you modern people care about are the pleasures of the flesh--"
1680K24 $"^What a quaint term." $"^BE QUIET! ^That_ is all that_ you
1690K24 understand by honesty-- doing such things in the open, saying it is natural,
1700K24 you might as well shit in public-- that_ is natural too." $"^Definitely.
1710K24 ^But most unhygienic." $*3^The next few days were difficult.
1720K24 ^*Meena refused to_ speak to anyone and made it clear that she had no
1730K24 intention of meeting any prospective bridegroom, however eligible. ^*Ravi*'s
1740K24 remarks became more barbed and less comprehensible.*#
        **[no. of words = 02004**]

        **[txt. k25**]
0010K25 **<*3Rats**>
0020K25 $**[ leader comment begin **] ^Desperate for food, the
0030K25 rats were at their silent work and Hiru could not picture the future
0040K25 with all his grain gone. ^But one thing he was sure of: Nothing would
0050K25 induce him to_ leave the village of his forbears. **[leader comment
0060K25 end**] $*3^*Hiru knew the squiggles in the dust. ^He stooped and
0070K25 frowned. ^The rats had arrived while he lay dazed with pain, perhaps
0080K25 muttering to himself. ^The last time, too they had come in the summer.
0090K25 ^Through the tunnels in the fields. ^He had had a hard time jamming
0100K25 the holes with dirt and stones only to_ discover the next morning what
0110K25 a fool he had been. ^He knew they would nuzzle through the fillings
0120K25 and, when they wanted it, make new holes. ^Afterwards he had found some
0130K25 mortar in the house but the rats had already depleted his grain, his
0140K25 hoard of gold. $^When they found nothing in the fields the beasts turned
0150K25 to the homes, risking death. ^Once they had nibbled off a string
0160K25 bag from the town. ^Another time they couldn*'4t even resist the bristles
0170K25 on Hiru*'s shin. ^He had woken up, folding his leg, startling them
0180K25 away. ^It was only after they had fled that he knew, rubbing his eyes
0190K25 in disbelief. ^He climbed out of bed and relit the hurricane lantern.
0200K25 ^But there was nothing to_ be found, except sticky droppings where
0210K25 black ants were crawling. ^The rats, desperate for food, had landed on
0220K25 him by way of the tin boxes along the wall. ^He waited on the edge
0230K25 of the cot, the light turned low, but they didn*'4t reappear. ^That_
0240K25 year the village had a bad drought. $*3^*Hiru couldn*'4t remember when
0250K25 he had last stepped into the store room. ^Maybe a month ago or more.
0260K25 ^He had been ill, scarcely leaving his crumbling room. ^So he was unprepared
0270K25 for what met his eyes now. ^Bits of straw and jute; mounds of
0280K25 fire grass smelly with rat dirt; the wicker-basket tilting on its side
0290K25 and empty of the maize seeds he had gathered to_ sow the patch where
0300K25 little else sprouted in the monsoon. ^Two other bags were sagging and
0310K25 the earthen floor was strewn with grain. ^Gone, too, were the onions
0320K25 and peppers and the heap of oilcake from the corner. $^His foot crackled
0330K25 and he dredged up a fistful of crushed shells. ^He had kept the
0340K25 chicken eggs in a nest of hay protected by bricks, wanting
0350K25 them to_ hatch into chicks. ^He was devoted to his lame, ancient
0360K25 layer. ^Now he had himself to_ blame. ^*I should have known better, he
0370K25 thought. ^His lips twitched; he could chew up Asha. ^The bitch! ^*It
0380K25 was her duty to_ look after the stores. $^*Hiru was still fuming when
0390K25 Asha returned after dusk. ^He was waiting to_ yell at her. ^She called
0400K25 from the porch, as she often did when she had been out, perhaps to_
0410K25 ease her conscience. ^Today she had alarming news. $"^Know something?"
0420K25 she said, stepping in. "^The headman has called a meeting tomorrow."
0430K25 $^And she began her anxious chatter. ^The famine had grown worse and there
0440K25 was talk of leaving the village. ^One family already had, milkmen
0450K25 who lost three cows in one month. ^Piled into their cart, the old father
0460K25 had said they weren*'4t coming back to the cursed place. ^The headman
0470K25 was going to_ refer the incident to the village council. ^All were
0480K25 expected to_ be present. $^*Asha brought a light, placed it near Hiru*'s
0490K25 cot and sat down. ^He lay in silhouette, his head caught awkwardly
0500K25 in the dip of his greasy pillow. ^She described the happenings from
0510K25 day to day; he listened, his eyes on her grotesque shadow from floor to
0520K25 ceiling. $"^Where have you been all this time?" he demanded at last.
0530K25 $^She opened her small mouth, with its upcurved lip, but couldn*'4t speak.
0540K25 ^Only her fingers moved instead, signifying quiet admission. $"*^I
0550K25 know," he said, prickly with insinuation. ^He knew this needled her
0560K25 in spite of herself. $^A lively, young widow, she was a relation who
0570K25 had come in to_ look after the household when he decided that he wouldn*'4t
0580K25 get married again. ^His wife had died after giving birth to a
0590K25 dead child. ^*Asha used to_ be a great help, daubing the mud floor with
0600K25 cowdung, fetching water from the well, washing his few clothes and cooking
0610K25 meals. ^Later, courted by her secret lovers, she changed in no
0620K25 time. ^*Hiru knew about her every affair, in the end stopping to_ care.
0630K25 ^When reports filtered in, he would snarl at the face of the informant,
0640K25 eyes flashing, "^The bitch!" $^Only once did he nearly throw her
0650K25 out. ^There had been buzzing gossip that one night she had visited the
0660K25 cobbler who had driven out his pregnant wife in a fit of drunkenness.
0670K25 ^Three days later Asha had returned, fallen at his feet and prevailed
0680K25 on the headman to_ plead for her. $"^Why didn*'4t you tell me about
0690K25 the rats?" $"^*I did-- a month ago." $"^*I don*'4t remember." $"^Old men
0700K25 forget easily." $"^*I remember my boyhood clear as daylight." $"^Do
0710K25 you really?" $"^Perhaps I didn*'4t believe you." $"^I*'3m not to_ blame
0720K25 then." $"^You should*'3ve reminded me." $^And so they argued, as
0730K25 usual. ^But Asha cut the argument for she was suddenly anxious and asked
0740K25 Hiru, "^What about the rats?" ^When he told her she was astounded.
0750K25 ^She dreaded the implications. ^The rats were at their silent work while
0760K25 she traipsed from one secret meeting to another. $"^You have*'4t
0770K25 looked into the storage in a long while," he almost shouted at her. ^He
0780K25 couldn*'4t picture the future with all that_ grain gone. ^His jaws stiffened
0790K25 with despair. ^The damned illness, otherwise he would have cared
0800K25 for the grain himself! $*3^The village council was called in front
0810K25 of the Siva temple, a stone structure with a conical top on a high
0820K25 masonry plinth. ^Nothing quite like it had ever taken place at the sacred
0830K25 spot. ^Intense faces huddled in crooked rows on the ground, fringed
0840K25 by dusty trees with frail shadows. ^At their head, near the steps
0850K25 of the shrine, sat the speakers, a bunch of elders exchanging whispers.
0860K25 ^Only the children were unconcerned and in their element, chasing one
0870K25 another noisily around and taking to their heels whenever an angry adult
0880K25 appeared to_ wave them away. $^The first to_ speak was the priest.
0890K25 ^A thin dyspeptic with a caste thread snaking across his chest, he began
0900K25 with a nasal chant to Siva. "^The One with matted locks Who creates,
0910K25 preserves and destroys all will save us..." ^He repeated the words
0920K25 like magic *4mantra over and over and asked for faith in His Grace
0930K25 but couldn*'4t proceed much further. ^His voice trailed off and he
0940K25 began to_ blink heavily, then ended by wiping his eyes with the corner
0950K25 of his filthy *4dhoti. ^There was at once a drone of murmurs. ^Nobody
0960K25 had anticipated such a scene. $^Next rose the headman, straight and strong,
0970K25 scowling in the harsh light, hushing his audience into silence.
0980K25 ^He plucked at his moustache, realigned his turban and scratched his
0990K25 neck. ^Everybody waited in suspense for him to_ open his mouth. ^And he
1000K25 did, all at once, as though the rock blocking his path had rolled aside.
1010K25 $"^There is no worry, let me tell you all," he said in his loud voice
1020K25 pointing to the hunched figures on the ground. "^Famine will pass."
1030K25 he carried on with his pep talk like a deft speaker until he felt, from
1040K25 the repeated chorus of agreement, that he had worked his old magic.
1050K25 $^*Hiru listened, cross-legged, hugging his knees. ^He was thinking up
1060K25 his speech. ^Finally, after the grocer had talked, demanding that the
1070K25 town must send relief supplies to the village, he began in his slow
1080K25 appraising drawl. $"^Help from the town? ^Is that_ it?" he said, bitter,
1090K25 scornful, for such pleas in the past had drawn empty assurances from
1100K25 cocky government officials. ^He had a distrust of townspeople and his
1110K25 distrust had grown. ^For him, the stories of their deception, of their
1120K25 contempt for village folk, were confirmed. ^So, like the headman before
1130K25 him, he urged everyone to_ have courage and faith. ^He came down
1140K25 hard on the family who had fled at the first signs of famine. ^An ugly
1150K25 thing to_ do, leaving the roof of their forbears. ^He asked each home
1160K25 to_ save grain and warned of the rats, telling his listeners what he had
1170K25 found in his storage. ^And voices, sharing his experience, chorused,
1180K25 "^Bastards! ^Must be wiped out..." $^The response was strangely moving.
1190K25 ^That he could thus hold an audience point by point was quite a revelation.
1200K25 ^He was bathed in sweat and his temples throbbed. ^He felt that
1210K25 he could have gone among those seated men and greeted them with joined
1220K25 palms. $^The meeting had shored up flagging spirits for a while then,
1230K25 like a wave making its steady retreat, they wore away. $*3^*Hiru
1240K25 mused in the shade of a peaceful tree, his back against the scarred
1250K25 trunk, filled with forebodings. ^Things weren*'4t as he had expected
1260K25 and the famine had clearly gained. ^The wind growled, driving hot eddies
1270K25 of dust, and the scrubby fields erupted into nervous motion. ^Arching
1280K25 before him, the road faded into nothingness. ^The crow which looked
1290K25 down at him from its perch was dazed, its beak agape. ^Behind the burnt-out
1300K25 copse was his house, mud and brick and thatch standing back from
1310K25 the irregular straggle of roofs. ^The dust spread, obliterating everything,
1320K25 but moments later, when the wind was a whisper again, contours
1330K25 would float as before, vague and unreal. $^The desert is creeping, he
1340K25 thought. ^And there was proof. ^The fields that_ yielded even three
1350K25 rains ago had run to malicious brush, the soil going sandy. ^The wells
1360K25 were giving up and the new ones ran only at greater depths. ^He had been
1370K25 to villages where desert had won and man had lost, where the houses
1380K25 were ghostly because most of the people had left after their last try.
1390K25 $^He was distressed but the desert wasn*'4t the only reason. ^He had
1400K25 gone off this morning to_ check a report and was amazed. ^How could
1410K25 he ever have suspected the priest? ^He had arrived to_ find the hut, at
1420K25 the end of the village, forsaken, doors yawning, spooky. ^The courtyard
1430K25 fluttered with lint from the forgotten bolt of cotton, and the bamboo
1440K25 cradle on its triangle of coir ropes stirred gently. $^The family
1450K25 had left in the night, spreading panic! ^Whoever knew how many more were
1460K25 planning to_ steal away? ^*Hiru recalled the priest at the village
1470K25 council: ^The prayer to Lord Siva, the faith in His goodness, the
1480K25 tearful eyes. ^He couldn*'4t have looked into that_ man*'s mind. ^*Hiru
1490K25 was astonished at the turn of events. $^He stood up, clutching a bottle
1500K25 of thin, reddish liquid. ^He had been to the village of his doctor
1510K25 who had charged him three handfuls of grain. ^*Hiru regretted such
1520K25 a loss of grain but could do nothing about it. ^In almost all the villages
1530K25 of the region food was fast becoming a medium of barter. $^The only
1540K25 gladdening bit about his visit to the doctor was that the latter had
1550K25 ridiculed his doubts about his ailment. ^He wished the old man was right.
1560K25 ^*Hiru used to_ treat himself, with his knowledge of herbs and instant
1570K25 medicines, but when the pain increased he had sought the doctor*'s
1580K25 help. ^Now, trudging along the dusty road, he shook the bottle in
1590K25 his hand hard and held it against the glare of sunlight: ^The cloudy potion
1600K25 seethed into froth, clinging to the sides. ^An odd exhilaration
1610K25 came over him. $*3^*Asha was asleep, her
1620K25 head in a corner of his cot, legs draped on the dirt floor. ^As Hiru
1630K25 crept in she opened her liquid eyes, edged with faint shadows, stared
1640K25 blankly at him awhile, then went back to_ sleep with an expression of
1650K25 deep annoyance. ^Then she stirred into life, yawning and throwing up her
1660K25 hands. $"^You are back?" she said, now pleasantly surprised, and set
1670K25 out to_ serve the meal.*#
        **[no. of words = 02011**]

        **[txt. k26**]
0010K26 **<*3Bats**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^The droppings of seeds
0020K26 and rind under the *4litchi tree told Loknath the whole story: that in
0030K26 the night bats had preyed on the fruit, and that those who were supposed
0040K26 to_ guard it were too absorbed in each other to_ attend to their task.
0050K26 **[leader comment end**] $*3^A FEW*0 spikes around the stalk
0060K26 of the *4lichis had begun to_ redden. ^During the day crows sat on the
0070K26 tree, at night many bats circled above it. ^Every year, around this time,
0080K26 Loknath thought of terminating this business of keeping a nightly
0090K26 vigil to_ chase away the bats; he would sell the tree itself to a fruitseller
0100K26 for a lump sum. ^Whether the buyer chased away the bats or not,
0110K26 was his lookout. ^All that_ Loknath wanted was the cash and about
0120K26 five hundred *4litchis for himself and to_ distribute to a few neighbours.
0130K26 $^Keeping watch all night for thirty to forty days picking the ripe
0140K26 *4litchis to_ sell in the market every day-- all this was terribly irksome
0150K26 work. ^But every year it so happened that Loknath would take turns
0160K26 with his daughter and son at chasing crows and bats away from the
0170K26 tree, plucking bunches of *4litchis with a long bamboo split at one end,
0180K26 and in the afternoon sitting with a basket of *4litchis in the market.
0190K26 $^Even this year the wholesale buyers had come; one, two, three of them.
0200K26 ^The haggling for prices went on: forty, forty-five, at the most
0210K26 fifty rupees for the entire tree. ^Fifty rupees for this tree? ^Rather
0220K26 than let you have the tree for fifty rupees I would call ten children
0230K26 from the neighbourhood and just give away the *4litchis to them. ^That_
0240K26 would at least earn me some virtue. ^Go away. $^Actually Loknath did
0250K26 not send away the buyers with any thought of virtue. ^He wanted at least
0260K26 thirty rupees more than what they offered. ^Besides, losing sleep
0270K26 and watching over the *4litchis for this one month had become a sort of
0280K26 intoxication for him. ^Like the way they celebrated Durga Puja every
0290K26 year at Saradindu Babu*'s house. ^What was more, this year*'s April
0300K26 storm had not brought down quite as many blossoms from the tree. ^As
0310K26 a result, there was more of the fruit than in previous years and even
0320K26 the size was bigger. ^In the market they would fetch at least a hundered
0330K26 rupees if they could be saved from the bats. $^So once again Loknath
0340K26 made bamboo clappers; sounds reverberated all over the neighbourhood--
0350K26 *3clap, clap, clap!*0 ^He got a leaky tincan for four *4annas, hung
0360K26 a couple of old iron bolts inside and got his son Rajani to_ suspend
0370K26 the tin from a high branch right in the middle of the tree. ^He then
0380K26 tied the other end of the string attached to the can to one of the posts
0390K26 of the thatched verandah-like shed near the courtyard. ^When the string
0400K26 was pulled, the sound reached beyond three neighbouring colonies--
0410K26 *3clang, clang, clang!*0 $^But these days the bats did not seem to_
0420K26 scare too much at the sound of clappers and tincans; at the first opportunity
0430K26 they landed somewhere on the tree and right through the din peeled
0440K26 the skins of ripe *4litchis one by one. ^Hence the other unfailing
0450K26 prescription: Rajani repaired the old catapult. ^The old fork remained;
0460K26 from Rafiq*'s workshop he brought two bits of rubber and from Gokul*'s
0470K26 house the tongue of an old shoe. ^He fixed the bit of leather to
0480K26 the catapult. ^*Loknath got some slimy clay from the bank of the stream
0490K26 and dried the pellets made from them on a bamboo platter. $*3^AFTER*0
0500K26 that_ the work of guarding the *4litchis began. $^*Loknath slept
0510K26 lightly towards the small hours. ^It was therefore arranged that between
0520K26 midnight and the crack of dawn Loknath would keep watch, Rajani
0530K26 taking care of the earlier part of the night. ^Some of Rajani*'s friends
0540K26 dropped in after supper. ^Sitting in the courtyard, with a lantern
0550K26 nearby, they would play ludo. ^On the other side of the ludo-board, there
0560K26 was snakes-and-ladders. ^Whenever they got bored with one side
0570K26 they played the other. ^Not only Rajani but his friends as well would
0580K26 beat the clappers, pull the string of the tincan and shoot the catapult
0590K26 at the probable location of the bats in the tree. $^When it came to
0600K26 detailing the share of duties, Rajani*'s older sister Hemaprabha was
0610K26 given hardly any work, but it was she who had to_ keep awake practically
0620K26 all night. ^*Rajani and his friends would take turns at bringing
0630K26 *4bhujiya and roasted gram, and Hemaprabha had to_ brew them tea without
0640K26 milk around eleven at night. ^At one O*'3clock Loknath would come
0641K26 out to
0650K26 the courtyard. ^She would then have to_ make him a glass of strong,
0660K26 salty tea with ginger and bay leaves. $^After drinking the glass of tea,
0670K26 Loknath would say, "^Go, get some sleep now." ^But the way he leaned
0680K26 on the wooden chair and stretched out his legs on the bench just as
0690K26 he said this made Hemaprabha realise that the poor man could do with
0700K26 another hour*'s sleep. ^Having to_ shake himself out of a deep sleep
0710K26 was evidently irksome for him. $^At that_ moment there would be a crunching
0720K26 sound of bats landing on the tree and Hemaprabha would beat the
0730K26 clappers, drum the tincans and, not hearing the sound of bats flying
0740K26 away, she would pick up the catapult. ^She would shoot with great care
0750K26 to_ ensure that the shots did not land on the corrugated iron roof of
0760K26 Sada*'s house nearby. ^After that_ she would tell her father, "^Go and
0770K26 sleep a little longer, I*'3ll wake you up when I feel sleepy." $^Her
0780K26 father would ask, "^What was it you were saying about a dress? ^Would
0790K26 you rather buy the cloth or shall I get you the yarn?" $"^What made
0800K26 you remember that_ now?" $"^No, I was just thinking. ^As soon as I
0810K26 get the money for the *4lichis...." $"^Well, get it first. ^But then
0820K26 you said something about buying a sewing machine for Rajani." $^That_
0830K26 was true. ^If Rajani had a sewing machine, he could start earning
0840K26 a tidy bit on his own. ^As a tailor*'s assistant he did all the work from
0850K26 cutting to making button-holes, but when it came to wages all he got
0860K26 was eight *4annas today, nothing tomorrow and four *4annas the day after--
0870K26 according to the shopowner*'s whims. ^Yes, it was time the sewing
0880K26 machine... $^On the whole, with her clappers, tincans, catapults and
0890K26 conversations, Hemaprabha had to_ keep Loknath company; only then
0900K26 could he watch over the *4litchis. ^When her eyelids weighed down, Hemaprabha
0910K26 would sleep on the bench on her side, her legs tucked in. ^And
0920K26 gazing at the undulations of her plump body Loknath would say to himself,
0930K26 "^The poor girl is going through a hard time." $*3^THEY*0 had guarded
0940K26 the *4litchis for three days, when one night a long-drawn note of
0950K26 a whistle was heard-- tw-e-e-t. ^*Hemaprabha was serving Rajani and the
0960K26 others their eleven O*'3clock tea. ^Almost in chorus they all asked
0961K26 her, "^Whatever
0970K26 is that_, sister?" $"^God knows! ^A constable, I suppose." $^And
0980K26 so it was. ^The constable had passed their house and gone away, but
0990K26 had returned a little later. ^He entered the courtyard just as one of
1000K26 Rajani*'s friends had thrown a six of the dice. ^The game stopped.
1010K26 ^*Hemaprabha went inside, Rajani got up from his chair and offered it
1020K26 to the constable. $"^Where have you come from? ^Was there anything you
1030K26 wanted to_ tell us?" $^No, no. ^He had no business with them at all.
1040K26 ^He was on duty. ^Only the other day there had been a theft at Doctor
1050K26 Manik*'s house. ^Since then the doctor had been quite steamed up.
1060K26 ^He had himself gone to the \0SP*'s bungalow. ^After all he was a man
1070K26 who had seen the war and his temper was something to_ reckon with. ^Nobody
1080K26 knew precisely what he had said to the \0SP, but the outcome
1090K26 of it all was that there was to_ be police patrolling henceforth on that_
1100K26 street. ^Not a sensible idea at all. ^After all, how many houses were
1110K26 there in this neighbourhood that_ were fit to_ be burgled? ^Would
1120K26 any thief stick his neck out again in this area? $^So the constable had
1130K26 come to_ find out what Rajani and the others were doing and to_ kill
1140K26 time with conversation. ^It was very boring to_ pace up and down the
1150K26 streets all alone without rhyme or reason. $^The next day the constable
1160K26 came around midnight. ^When the game in progress came to an end, Rajani
1170K26 and his friends asked him to_ join them. ^He sat down to the game
1180K26 with the green counters to his share. ^They were late in waking up Rajani*'s
1190K26 father. ^Actually they had been so amused at the constable joining
1200K26 them that they had continued playing until the very end of the game.
1210K26 $"^The boys have been telling me about you," Loknath said to the constable
1220K26 as he emerged from the house. "^Do sit down," ^Then he picked
1230K26 up the lantern and inspected the patch beneath the *4litchi tree, just
1240K26 to_ see if there were any rinds-- the one unmistakable evidence of bats
1250K26 having preyed on the *4litchis. ^Who knew what the bats might do over there
1260K26 while the boys were rapt in their game! $^*Loknath went in, leaving
1270K26 the lantern with the constable. ^In the meantime Hemaprabha had put
1280K26 some water to_ boil. ^*Loknath asked her, "^A little tea for the constable
1290K26 also? ^Have you got milk? ^Salt will do for me, but a bit of sugar
1300K26 for our friend here..." $^At this unearthly midnight hour Hemaprabha
1310K26 changed her *4sador and turned her *4mekhela **[foot note**] around
1320K26 so that the torn patch was covered by her *4sador. ^Then she came out
1330K26 with the tea-- a glass for Loknath and a cup for the constable. ^Leaving
1340K26 the tea on the bench, she had moved away from the light of the lantern
1350K26 when Loknath called out, "^Go to bed." ^At once Hemaprabha
1360K26 went in. $^*Loknath drew his feet up on the bench. "^Tell us where you
1370K26 are from and all the rest," he said. $^Above the occasional sounding
1380K26 of clappers, the tugging of the tincan string and the shooting of the
1390K26 catapult, Loknath made out that the constable*'s name was Mathura
1400K26 and that nothing was known of his true ancestral home. ^Apparently
1410K26 his grandfather*'s grandfather was someone important from somewhere near
1420K26 the great river island, Majuli, and had been an evacuee during the
1430K26 Burmese invasion to the foothills this side. ^From there his grandfather
1440K26 had migrated to the bank of the big river. ^The floods drove them
1450K26 out to_ squat on the reserve land where they had to_ fight wild elephants.
1460K26 ^So his father had moved to Kadamguri village. $^It was at Kadamguri
1470K26 that his parents had died. ^According to Mathura, the story that
1480K26 his grandfather*'s grandfather was someone big from around
1490K26 Majuli must have been all lies, but that his parents had died because
1500K26 they couldn*'4t get enough to_ eat was absolutely true-- something
1510K26 he had seen himself. $^Who was there at his village home now? $^None;
1520K26 no one at all. ^He no longer had a home in that_ village. ^Not to_ speak
1530K26 of his own homestead, now he would be happy if the entire village disappeared.
1540K26 $^Why, why? $^A long story. ^Well, to_ put it in a few words,
1550K26 age, illness and hunger had taken their toll of his parents. ^This
1560K26 he could try to_ bear. ^But he found it very hard to_ put up with the
1570K26 way the villagers took the life of his young sister who had no reason
1580K26 to_ die. $^One day a man had come to their house. ^At first he endeared
1590K26 himself to everyone in the house; then he endeared himself to the entire
1600K26 village; and then the only one alienated from him was Mathura*'s
1610K26 sister. ^Joining the police service had placed Mathura within restrictions,
1620K26 or else he would even now have dogged that_ man*'s steps and made
1630K26 sure that his sin did not go unpunished.*#
        **[no. of words = 02015**]

        **[txt. k27**]
0010K27 **<*3Transactions*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^They meet over
0020K27 a pot of tea in a series of inconclusive encounters, the lawyer who practises
0030K27 conceit, his unemployed nephew and the pious station master.*0
0040K27 **[leader comment end**] $*3^THE*0 first rays of sunlight penetrate
0050K27 the sick-looking opaque glass of the train windows about the same time
0060K27 as it lurches into Moradabad Station. ^The usual crowd of black-coated
0070K27 lawyers, from as far afield as Amroha and Kanth, alights, eagerly
0080K27 anticipating the day*'s takings like a flock of vultures on the roof
0090K27 of a slaughter-house. ^*I am sometimes apt to_ go into raptures over
0100K27 this imagery-- indelicate though it is. ^Whenever I have occasion to_
0110K27 pass an abattoir, I make it a point to_ watch the birds flying in
0120K27 lazy, well-bred circles, their black feathers outstretched, like so many
0130K27 pairs of hands. ^They would tempt their prey into them, I am sure,
0140K27 if only they could manage it. $^*I don*'4t know why I*'3m saying this.
0150K27 ^*I too wear the same uniform. ^Of course, my coat is better tailored.
0160K27 ^The crease of my trousers is renowned as far off as Lucknow. ^My
0170K27 shirtfront is as fluffy and starched as that_ of any England-returned
0180K27 *4sahib. ^In fact, I look more the lawyer than those birds of prey hunched
0190K27 up in pairs on the *(cycle-rikshaws*) pedalled to the courts by
0200K27 cadaverous-looking men. ^Or those you see going along the road with a vulture*'s
0210K27 ungainly gait looking around to_ see what pickings they can
0220K27 corner on the way. ^*I am a lawyer too. ^But I usually walk the platform
0230K27 to the Railway Restaurant, where a pot of boiling tea waits for me
0240K27 every morning. $^Here I am joined by my nephew, Kamleshwar Singh,
0250K27 a young man of refinement, who has spent the last three years looking
0260K27 unsuccessfully for a suitable situation in life. ^However, it is to
0270K27 his credit that his search for a suitable situation has not forced him
0280K27 to_ acquire the unspeakable vulgarity that_ we choose to_ call "common
0290K27 sense". ^He always has enough time to_ pass the day with an older
0300K27 bird like me. $^Our third, and regular companion, is Afzal Khan, the
0310K27 Assistant Station Master. ^But a look at his uniform is enough to_
0320K27 inform you that he is a man of better stock than his station in life.
0330K27 ^It is always freshly laundered and ironed, without as much as a speck
0340K27 on it. ^And the shine of the metal buttons in it would put the most
0350K27 finicky Sergeant to shame. ^*I need not tell you he is from Rampur,
0360K27 of proud Rohilla stock. ^And the fourth? ^The fourth is anyone who has
0370K27 the time to_ drink with us, and order another pot of tea as he leaves.
0380K27 $^*I HAVE been coming here regularly for the past ten years. ^The
0390K27 staff know me as do the proprietors who have owned the establishment
0400K27 during this period. ^*I always have them waiting for me every morning
0410K27 with my pot of tea. ^But there has been a slight change lately. ^Some
0420K27 of them appear to_ pity me. ^*I find that_ strange. ^*I am a landed
0430K27 proprietor and, while it is true I am no longer physically in control
0440K27 of my estate, I am still the legal owner. ^My brother, the local Block
0450K27 *4Pramukh who controls my share as well, gives me enough for my daily
0460K27 needs. ^That_ suits me fine. ^*I have only two daughters and my
0470K27 wife, dear lady, deserted me before she could bear me an heir; but it
0480K27 was considerate of her to_ have taken the girls with her and spare me
0490K27 the trouble and unnecessary expense of bringing them up myself. $^*I
0500K27 regard myself as a fortunate being. ^*I am a landed proprietor without
0510K27 any of the problems that_ bedevil those who farm their lands themselves.
0520K27 ^*I am married but I don*'4t even have to_ look after a wife and
0530K27 children. ^*I am given an allowance by the man who is my heir. ^*I
0540K27 do not see anything pitiable in all this, but still the feeling persists
0550K27 that they feel sorry for me at the restaurant. $^It is not obvious,
0560K27 of course. ^Sometimes I sense it in the eye of the proprietor as I
0570K27 come in, sometimes in the exaggerated solicitude of the waiter as he pours
0580K27 the milk or adds sugar to my tea, sometimes in the glances exchanged
0590K27 by two waiters. ^At other times I merely sense it in the air. ^Yet
0600K27 it is there unmistakably. ^It even seems to_ be growing over the years.
0610K27 ^Every dog has his day, I say. ^There was a time when we reserved
0620K27 such glances for those who had been forced by circumstance to_ work.
0630K27 ^Then civil servants reserved them for businessmen and now anyone who
0640K27 earns a living seems to_ have acquired the right to_ pity us. $"^The world
0650K27 has come to an ugly pass, Kunwar Sahib," Afzal Khan intones while
0660K27 my nephew pours out the first cup of the morning. "^They*'3ve even
0670K27 driven women mad with their talk of equality. ^There*'1s a *4dhiwar
0680K27 woman who got chopped to bits by the Mail at Lodipur last night. ^She
0690K27 had tried to_ run away from her husband that_ morning, but they managed
0700K27 to_ bring her back and gave her a sound thrashing to_ put her in
0710K27 her place. ^In the old days, that_ would have been enough. ^But no,
0720K27 she goes out at night and throws herself across the railway track. ^*I
0730K27 ask you now, whatever is the world coming to?" $"^She did not actually
0740K27 commit suicide, Khan Sahib," my nephew adds with the deferential
0750K27 attitude proper for a young man of his age and upbringing towards his
0760K27 elders. "^That_ is only a way of covering up the matter. ^There*'1s a
0770K27 quarrel going on between *4dhiwars and *4chamars-- and the *4chamars came
0780K27 running to father even before daybreak to_ complain that the man had
0790K27 done away with his wife. ^After that_ he and his relatives had thrown
0800K27 her body across the railway line. ^They had a political axe to_ grind,
0810K27 so Father ignored them. ^But he didn*'4t let on, of course. ^It might
0820K27 come in handy later as they*'3ve both got their eyes on our land."
0830K27 $^Of course I pull out another tale from my own repertoire. ^*I am not
0840K27 sure they haven*'4t heard it before, but they appear to_ have, judging
0850K27 by their expressions. $^*I tell them of the barber*'s boy from Fatehpur
0860K27 who tried to_ kill himself at Hakimpur Station. ^*I first saw
0870K27 him when I was waiting for the morning train to Delhi. ^There was
0880K27 nothing notable about him: the same unprepossessing long hair, tight
0890K27 trousers, hero-cut shirt. ^The only reason I noticed him was that he
0900K27 was to my left and I had to_ look past him whenever I glanced towards
0910K27 the lines to_ see if I should make my way up the platform. ^He was
0920K27 in a group of four or five, when all of a sudden he sprinted over the
0930K27 embankment towards the track. ^The three or four people with him were
0940K27 in hot pursuit, shouting and gesticulating madly. ^At the same time,
0950K27 a goods train was now visible, going on to Moradabad. ^*I thought
0960K27 he was a thief trying to_ cross the track and foil his pursuers so I
0970K27 asked a couple of our stalwart farm-hands to_ give him chase. ^It did not
0980K27 take them long to_ catch up with him, and soon they had him pinned
0990K27 to the ground. '^Let me die!' he cried out, 'Let me die!' $"^When it
1000K27 dawned on me what he was up to," I continue, "I admit I was a little
1010K27 disappointed that he had been caught. ^*I have always considered it
1020K27 unwise to_ tamper with the stream of life. ^That_ is why I am a strict
1030K27 vegetarian. ^My mother told me it was very dangerous to_ tamper with
1040K27 the stream of life." ^Then I go on to_ tell them that I recalled
1050K27 the incident of the barber*'s boy because my wife left me a week after
1060K27 that_, exactly at the same time, by the Delhi train. ^After all, in
1070K27 our area many people get killed every year and normally only those are
1080K27 remembered whose deaths are to_ be avenged. ^Otherwise we would require
1090K27 a priesthood, as at Haridwar, to_ remember everyone who happened to_
1100K27 die. $"^Fortunately," I muse aloud, "our people are well versed in
1110K27 the lore of the ancients, which teaches us that life sustains life. ^If
1120K27 you want a child, offer someone else*'s to the *4devi you can most
1130K27 conveniently propitiate. ^This is quite a normal thing in our area. ^You
1140K27 can always pick up a copy of the *3Bijnor Times and regale yourself
1150K27 on kidnapping incidents reported with an eye for every minor detail.
1160K27 ^Every now and then someone lynches a *4sadhu or a stranger under
1170K27 suspicion. ^But we don*'4t take these things very seriously as one is
1180K27 never quite sure when one would have to_ resort to such practices oneself."
1190K27 $^Then I go on to_ tell Afzal Khan how in our family, too, we
1200K27 owe our existence to a kidnapped child, who is worshipped along with
1210K27 the family deity as a minor god, represented by a small pebble at the
1220K27 feet of the *4devi. ^It happened some six generations back when the British
1230K27 first took over from the Nawabs of Avadh. ^Our ancestor, Kunwar
1240K27 Suraj Pal Singh, had lost his only son in a hunting mishap, it
1250K27 is said; and he was already well past the age of forty. ^Nothing seemed
1260K27 to_ enable him to_ beget another son, not even two fresh marriages
1270K27 to young girls. ^When he was contemplating yet another new wife, his latest
1280K27 father-in-law suggested the cure of the *4devi and even offered
1290K27 to_ procure a victim for him. ^*Kunwar Suraj Pal consented, and lo
1300K27 and behold, a son was born to him! ^And he was well over sixty then. $"^It
1310K27 is not surprising," I conclude, "that we find it hard to_ change
1320K27 with the times. ^Families like ours that_ live by tradition owe their
1330K27 very existence to it." $"^The pious are always well-rewarded for their
1340K27 pains," intones Afzal Khan. "^Even the pilgrimage to Mecca has a
1350K27 profitable side to it if you are sharp enough to_ bring back gold and
1360K27 watches. ^*I ask you what is it apart from Providence that_ makes rare
1370K27 metals cheap in Mecca and expensive here? ^You can*'4t get gold or
1380K27 watches cheaply at Rajabpur or Fatehpur Sikri. ^And you can get things
1390K27 at Delhi and Agra that_ you can*'4t at Rajabpur. ^It*'1s all
1391K27 God*'s will.
1400K27 *4^*Inshallah, I too will become a Haji one day with my own import-export
1410K27 business." $^Thus it has become our custom to_ pass the day.
1420K27 ^Each one of us sketches out the possibilities before him in fine detail,
1430K27 like the embroiderers of Kashmir who create gardens of formal birds,
1440K27 flowers and landscapes and are too busy to_ go out and appreciate
1450K27 them. $^*I hear, too, that the precision and detail required of them eventually
1460K27 makes them blind. ^Perhaps it is so, but we are wedded to our
1470K27 embroidery. ^*Kamleshwar went for an interview once and it totally
1480K27 upset our routine. ^Even the tea proved to_ be too much for the two of
1490K27 us and went cold in the pot. ^This upset the waiters no end as they
1500K27 took it as a reflection on the quality of the tea they had served. ^As
1510K27 a result they poisoned the atmosphere with disapproving glances. ^In
1520K27 fact, it proved to_ be such a bad day that we decided that none of us
1530K27 should be allowed to_ absent himself like this ever again. $^Every day
1540K27 at about eleven or so, when the heat becomes oppressive and the station
1550K27 is deserted, when even the waiters are forced to_ concentrate on the
1560K27 flies in the room to_ overcome their boredom, our thoughts, like those
1570K27 of the legendary Majnun in the monotony of his desert, turn to the
1580K27 one great passion of a man*'s life. ^*I, for my part, think of my wife,
1590K27 dear lady. ^She has enormous influence over me by her absence.*#
        **[no. of words = 02004**]

        **[txt. k28**]
0010K28 **<*3THE LAST FLICKER*0**>
0020K28 $*3^HE*0 walked down the long by-lane with a sense of mild excitement.
0030K28 ^In the glare and heat of the afternoon people passed him like indifferent
0040K28 images. ^He told himself that he should not walk too hurriedly,
0050K28 for the indifferent images might notice him. ^But he wonddered
0060K28 why he should care at all for anyone, though he continued to_ walk
0070K28 with the same methodical slowness and knocked on the door. ^There
0080K28 was no immediate answer. ^Perhaps in trying to_ be very deliberate
0081K28 he had knocked too softly?
0090K28 ^He was about to_ put his hand again to_ knock when the chain
0100K28 inside dropped with a clank and one half of the door was opened. ^The
0110K28 moment she saw him, she withdrew behind the curtain asking him to_ come
0120K28 in. $^It was a small room he entered, to one corner of which stood
0130K28 a table with two sides to the walls and chairs on the other two. ^A
0140K28 few dog-eared notebooks with the first pages gone long ago littered a
0150K28 portion of the table, while a set of six fat, bound books, obviously belonging
0160K28 to the mother, stood at the other end. ^From his chair in
0170K28 the opposite corner he could not tell what their names were, but he
0180K28 already felt the friendly feeling towards them that_ he had always felt
0190K28 towards her. ^She sat to a side facing him but he had found it necessary
0200K28 to_ look at all the harmless, meaningless details that_ surrounded
0210K28 him before he turned his eyes to her. ^He did not know what to_ say;
0220K28 he did not know how to_ begin. ^And then he found her looking
0230K28 steadily at him with those bold black eyes, her lips screwed in an almost
0240K28 imperceptible smile. $"^She*'1s not home yet but it won*'4t be long
0250K28 before she is," she said to_ see him so painfully stranded. $"^Yes,"
0260K28 he agreed without much hope and hesitated to_ cross his legs for
0270K28 comfort. $"^You must be firm with her and teach her just a little at
0280K28 least. ^She just won*'4t listen to me. ^And she can be very stubborn."
0290K28 $^He was on the point of saying that she must be very much like
0300K28 her when he stopped and said instead: $"^*I'*'3ll do my best."
0310K28 $^Then without relevance she said: "^*I think she will like you", and
0320K28 he was almost pleased. $"^She likes anybody I like," she added.
0330K28 ^All at once he was wildly hopeful but when he saw her smile he was again
0340K28 profoundly disturbed. ^He wanted to_ thank her but just as the words
0350K28 formed inside him there was a reckless knocking on the door. ^When
0360K28 it was opened the child made a dash across for the inside room yelling
0370K28 "my tea," and flinging her satchel on the table on her way. ^The
0380K28 mother looked at him and said: $"^My daughter," and she smiled again
0390K28 and he knew how proud she was of the child. ^She went in herself.
0400K28 $^Almost at once there was the sound of the child shouting again for
0410K28 its tea. ^He was then aware of a silence in which the child was
0420K28 listening to something her mother was saying. ^An interrogatory grunt
0430K28 followed and then silence again and then impatiently the child shouted,
0440K28 "What-a-a-t?" $^He heard the soft rustle of the woman*'s voice
0450K28 and the child ask in a harsh whisper, "Where?" $^The mother*'s voice
0460K28 rustled again and all was dead still. ^He felt tense and uncomfortable
0470K28 and his eyes were fixed expectantly on the inside door. ^One
0480K28 of its sides moved and a small round face with unmistakable eyes stretched
0490K28 out inquiringly. ^It stayed there long and undisturbed and slowly
0500K28 withdrew. ^The clink of tea things, the dropping of a spoon on
0510K28 the floor continued and he wondered at the silence. ^Only the mother*'s
0520K28 voice no longer whispering came steadily conveying instructions.
0530K28 $"^You finish it and come," she said at last and came out with a cup
0540K28 of tea and some hot *4pakoras for him in a saucer. $^For a few moments
0550K28 while he took the cup and she talked about hours of work and the cooking
0560K28 she had to_ do herself, he almost forgot the child. ^He chewed
0570K28 the *4pakora and sipped his tea, hot and strong, listening, allowing
0580K28 her voice to_ seep into him in a sustained thrill, wallowing as
0590K28 it were in its warmth and friendliness. ^Her voice had always given
0600K28 him the feeling of being in the presence of colour which kept vibrating
0610K28 towards him. ^When she laughed-- always short and broken off in
0620K28 the middle of its length-- the colour became momentarily vivid, burning
0630K28 bronze before it went out. $^He lifted the cup to his lips and
0640K28 his eyes went over the edge to the inside door and he saw again the
0650K28 little face stretched out looking at him intently. ^But when the
0660K28 mother said, "Come in," it swiftly vanished behind the door.
0670K28 $"^She will not come herself; I must go and bring her," she said and
0680K28 went in. $^Dragged by the mother, she came in resisting like a
0690K28 little mule. ^He was favourably impressed to_ see that she hadn*'4t
0700K28 washed her ears and elbows, that her fingers were still stained
0710K28 with ink and that her skirt had gone a size too short. ^She stood by
0720K28 the mother*'s chair, looking at him with undisguised curiosity and
0730K28 twisting her wrist out of her mother*'s grip. $^He smiled and asked,
0740K28 "what is your name?" $^She did not reply, took her eyes off his
0750K28 face and made violent efforts to_ free herself. $"^Go on, tell him
0760K28 your name," the woman insisted. $"^Let go my hand," she replied
0770K28 shortly, but no sooner was her arm released than she was gone in a
0780K28 falsh. $*3^FOR*0 the first few days a kind of neutrality prevailed
0790K28 between the teacher and the taught. ^He could see from the serious
0800K28 aspect of her face and the way in which those bold eyes looked at him,
0810K28 with more curiosity than anything else, that she was still assessing
0820K28 him. ^But she had relented: she had told him her name when he asked
0830K28 her. '^*Kamala,' she had said very matter-of-factly. $'^That_*'1s
0840K28 a very pretty name,' he said with overwhelming approval.
0850K28 '^*I wish I had been given a name like that_.' $^In reply the child
0860K28 only looked at him with unsmiling eyes. $^Each evening he taught
0870K28 her while the mother was still out, and the child*'s manner seemed
0880K28 to_ fill the room with loneliness and silence and he waited for the
0890K28 ten minutes before he finished when the mother would arrive and
0900K28 the child would run away to_ have her supper and he would sit and
0910K28 talk carefully and politely as always till it was nine and it was
0920K28 time for him to_ leave. ^And for those first few days he wondered
0930K28 as he walked back if he had not made a mistake in accepting to_
0940K28 teach Kamala, for he taught her with a stained painful earnestness
0950K28 and with a feeling of no participation at all from the child.
0960K28 ^What worried him even more was the strained attention of the child
0970K28 and her tiredness when she finished for the evening. ^He tried to_ tell
0980K28 himself that it was the best way things were for serious work but
0990K28 he could not quite get over the impression of buoyancy and spirit
1000K28 that_ he had seen on the first day. $"^She*'1s so dreadfully serious
1010K28 about her lessons these days," the mother said approvingly. $"^*I
1020K28 know," he replied gloomily. $"^You have almost made her into
1030K28 a lady," she continued and now he did not know whether she was making
1040K28 fun of him or being truthful and when he looked up those eyes were
1050K28 the same, a little teasing, a little affectionate. $*3^ABOUT*0 a
1060K28 week had passed since he had started when he arrived one evening to_
1070K28 find the child already sitting at the table, thoroughly absorbed.
1080K28 ^He startled her by his entry, but the moment she saw him, she jumped
1090K28 off the chair and hugging the notebook to her breast screamed. "^*I
1100K28 have done it, I have done it." ^He was momentarily non-plussed
1110K28 and disabled from reacting by the child*'s excitement as her words
1120K28 came pelting over one another and her eyes were bright and eloquent.
1130K28 ^And she laughed as she spoke in same way as her mother did again
1140K28 and again, her words still tumbling out pell-mell and without
1150K28 following their drift he felt himself moved out of his neutrality
1160K28 into amusement and relaxation and then into that_ frank, free laughter
1170K28 of hers till he himself laughed with her. $^When the burst of
1180K28 laughter had subsided he asked, "^What have you done?" $"^Have I
1190K28 done anything wrong?" the child asked suddenly worried. $"^No. ^No.
1200K28 ^But I don*'4t know what you are talking about," he confessed.
1210K28 ^And the child watched him as he spoke and then when she understood
1220K28 his perplexity she laughed again and he joined in. ^She finally
1230K28 threw down her book and showed him the red ink writing of the school
1240K28 teacher. '10/10. \0^*V. Good,' it said in the margin and he looked
1250K28 pleased and smiling at her, saying in feigned wonder that he had
1260K28 never thought she could do so well and he saw her eyes dance for joy.
1270K28 ^As he watched, it struck him how much like the mother she
1280K28 seemed at certain moments. $^She was now a bundle of excitement.
1290K28 ^Her nostrils stiffening a little, she kept talking about her plans
1300K28 for the future. ^She confided that she had hated arithmetic so long,
1310K28 but now it was her best loved subject. ^And she was going to_
1320K28 do better and better every day, never shirking or neglecting her home-work
1330K28 as she had done before. ^As her spirits rose with her plans
1340K28 she forgot he was her teacher and putting on a serious face warned him
1350K28 against absenting himself because if he did she would never again
1360K28 speak to him. ^She improved upon her statement and added that he
1370K28 should not be late either because as she put it with mock sense of
1380K28 drama, "If we don*'4t do these sums, who will do them? ^Do you
1390K28 think the birds and the cows will do them?" "^O, no," he agreed.
1400K28 ^He was so thoroughly captivated by her behaviour that he hardly
1410K28 taught her that_ day and hurried away home before the mother returned,
1420K28 but not before the child had got him to_ promise that he would come
1430K28 a little earlier the next day. ^On his way back he realised that
1440K28 for the first time he had called her 'Kamo' as her mother did instead
1450K28 of Kamala. $*3^THE NEXT DAY*0 he remembered that he was
1460K28 to_ be early. ^He was surprised at himself that he had taken her
1470K28 so seriously as to_ think of it hours before it was time to_ start.
1480K28 ^All the same he turned into the by-lane with a sense of anticippation.
1490K28 ^He told himself that he must get some work done-- all that_
1500K28 excitement was alright **[sic**] in itself, but it should not
1510K28 be allowed to_ spoil the child*'s study as it did yesterday. ^If
1520K28 it went on like that_ soon he would have no more authority over her
1530K28 than her mother__ and he had been warned too! ^Yet as he walked
1540K28 down he was happy that he was early and happier that he could tell her
1550K28 that he had kept his word with her.... ^There was patter of feet
1560K28 behind and he turned round. ^Instantly there was a burst of laughter
1570K28 and Kamo rushed up to his side crying out, "You thought *3I*0
1580K28 would be late isn*'4t it?" "^No," he replied truthfully but she would
1590K28 not believe him. "^Yes,yes," she insisted. "^You did.
1600K28 ^*I know you did." ^Then she calmed down and holding his hand she
1610K28 walked beside him; her face was grave and her eyes were on the street and
1620K28 he felt a wave of some forgotten emotion rise from the finger she held
1630K28 and flood him and he wondered how he would be able to_ hold his defences
1640K28 before the child*'s disarming ways.*#
        **[no. of words = 02006**]

        **[txt. k29**]
0010K29 **<*3Peacocks*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^He was still seeking
0020K29 something. ^If he had not felt compelled to_ reach beyond his wife,
0030K29 his career, his cheerless judgements, he would not have undertaken the
0040K29 painful journey into his past to_ watch the peacocks dance.*0 **[leader
0050K29 comment end**] $*3^*I HAVE*0 built a house in Bangalore, managed
0060K29 to_ secure a telephone and put both my childern in a good school. ^But
0070K29 because of these encumbrances I cannot throw up my job as my father
0080K29 used to_ whenevr he felt enraged. ^It was because of his independence
0090K29 and his habit of having his own way that my mother hadn*'4t seen
0100K29 a silk sari until I found a job; and we grew up knowing what it was
0110K29 never to_ have your pangs of hunger fully satisfied. ^Ultimately, my
0120K29 father forfeited our respect. $^*I have my father*'s looks, but in temperament
0130K29 I am very different. ^Whenever I have a row with my wife
0140K29 I praise my father*'s self-respect and make light of his faults. ^It
0150K29 is my way of making her feel that she is responsible for my abandoning
0160K29 my father*'s virtues. ^*I expatiate on my sacrifices for the sake of
0170K29 giving reasonable comfort to my family and proclaim that the social
0180K29 status she so values is dirt in my eyes. ^And my conscience feels cosy.
0190K29 $^In reality I am a skunk and by clever manoeuvres I prompt my wife
0200K29 to_ blame me. ^The slim and tall girl I married did not ask for any
0210K29 of these comforts; few women do. ^Truth to_ tell, she has not taken
0220K29 advantage of me as much as I have taken advantage of her to_ make me
0230K29 do all this. ^The capacity of the human mind for treachery is infinite.
0240K29 $^*I know all this. ^Knowing, I continue as I am and do not change.
0250K29 ^No one changes merely by knowing. $^Sometimes I suspect I was
0260K29 pure and innocent when I was a boy and want to_ find out whether this
0270K29 is true or false. ^But I cannot discuss it with my wife. ^All her
0280K29 energy is spent in ensuring that I do
0290K29 not waste my money, that I do not drink every evening, that my health
0300K29 is cared for. ^Even as I have been using my tongue to_ taunt her by
0310K29 insisting that without her I would have been a man of note, a poet,
0320K29 an achiever and thus deceive the sorrow of the demon within, she has
0330K29 been losing her girlish vivacity. $^We quarrel endlessly and as we
0340K29 quarrel we become impossible. ^We both get exasperated with the house,
0350K29 the car, the telephone. ^She knows that I quarrel with her only to_
0360K29 torment myself. ^*I shudder to_ think of the day when she might begin
0370K29 to_ pity me, for then I would be a burnt-out faggot. ^*I suppose I
0380K29 would have respected her had she loved someone poorer. ^But we have made
0390K29 each other too insufferable for anyone else*'s love. $^Didn*'4t I
0400K29 say that I sometimes want to_ find out if I was innocent in my childhood?
0410K29 ^Do you know when I feel like that_? ^When my wife sings. ^Her
0420K29 singing has become less frequent, but she sings beautifully, and makes
0430K29 me miserable. ^*I ask myself why we have so dirtied each other. ^She
0440K29 has a good voice and the voice utters sounds and these sounds reach my
0450K29 ears as songs-- but if she does not have within her that_ which makes
0460K29 music, who is to_ blame? $^Could it be that my regret that nothing is
0470K29 happening to_ shake the roots of life is a trick to_ hide the drabness
0480K29 of my routine or to_ keep alive the ego that_ is necessary to_ achieve
0490K29 something? ^But even this rationalisation is of little help. ^For
0500K29 I continue to_ be what I am. ^*I keep doing what I do. ^In the office
0510K29 everyone takes me for a gentleman, so conscientious, so kind to
0520K29 the orderlies-- but all this is a cheap trick for moving up. $^What is
0530K29 wrong in moving up? ^*I don*'4t feel any self-disgust, any compunction,
0540K29 when I digest a good meal. ^Yet I am not happy. $^So I want to_
0550K29 know whether this devious and hypocritical me could have been whole
0560K29 and innocent at least as a boy. ^Father died six years ago. ^*I went
0570K29 to the village again for his annual rite. ^Mother lives in the village.
0580K29 ^She didn*'4t want to_ stay with us. ^My wife pretended to_ be hurt
0590K29 when mother said she was happier in the village and manipulated her in
0600K29 such a manner as to_ make her say that she didn*'4t wish to_ come in
0610K29 the way of our happiness, at which she, my wife, pretended to_ be more
0620K29 hurt. ^So to all appearances mother stayed in the village of her own
0630K29 free will. $^My wife must have learnt all this cleverness from me.
0640K29 ^It is in this way that she manages to_ secure whatever I inwardly
0650K29 want but outwardly pretend to_ abhor. ^To_ go up I must invite the
0660K29 top people to dinner, give them drinks. ^And all this would become
0670K29 difficult if mother came to_ live with us. $^My wife knows it, mother knows
0680K29 it and I know that both know. ^*I have grown to_ be more and more
0690K29 of a blackguard. ^Even this self-knowledge does not lead anywhere.
0700K29 ^My boss admires me for my introspection. ^He and I exchange self-analysis
0710K29 as we sip whisky at the Golf Club. $*3^WHEN*0 I went to
0720K29 my mother*'s village with my wife and children for father*'s annual
0730K29 rite, I drove alone to another village fifteen miles away. ^*I was in
0740K29 no hurry and took it easy at the wheel, taking in the dust, the bare
0750K29 trees and red flowers of winter and the forest that_ had not greatly
0760K29 changed. ^*I remembered an incident that_ had taken place when I was
0770K29 eight or ten years old and it brought on a pain of the kind an old song
0780K29 evokes. $^My mother was ill. ^She was always ill and was surrounded
0790K29 by medicine bottles and bowls of drying porridge. ^One Sunday she
0800K29 whispered weakly to me: "^Kittu, run and see what your father is doing."
0810K29 ^Grandfather and grandmother were with us then. ^Every evening grandfather
0820K29 wrapped a cloth round his head and sat down to_ play the drums.
0830K29 ^*I put on a washed shirt and shorts and scampered away. ^To_ find
0840K29 father meant to_ go to Halasina Ooru. ^Father looked after the accounts
0850K29 of \0Mr Govinda Rao of Halasina Ooru. ^Father and he were friends.
0860K29 ^Father had just thrown off the postmastership of Kumsi after
0870K29 one of his numerous quarrels. $^*I kicked pebbles with my toes as I walked
0880K29 on. ^*I clearly remember that I passed the school on the way. ^Fine
0890K29 dust had gathered on the school verandah. ^Insects which we called
0900K29 sparrow-bugs had made tiny little holes in the dirt. ^We used to_ dig
0910K29 them out and place them on our forearms and as they crawled up and
0920K29 down we were pleasantly tickled. ^We scratched with our nails around
0930K29 the holes where the sparrow-bugs made their home, chanting, "^Show me
0940K29 the way to Banaras, show me the way to Banaras" and felt thrilled every
0950K29 time a brown, hard-skinned sparrow-bug peeped out and retreated.
0960K29 $^After playing with sparrow-bugs I crossed the patch of forest. ^There
0970K29 was a well with a wide mouth. ^*I gazed at its bottom. ^Then I came
0980K29 upon paddy fields. ^Next to the fields was the crag of peacocks. $^Although
0990K29 the screams of the peacocks were heard day and night where we
1000K29 lived mother had never let me go there. ^A man who sold peacock feathers,
1010K29 who belonged to the caste which ate peacocks, had told me they danced
1020K29 beautifully. ^*I made up my mind to_ hide under a tree on my way
1030K29 back from \0Mr Govinda Rao*'s house and wait for the peacocks to_
1040K29 dance and if possible pick up a feather and, without mother coming to_
1050K29 know, keep it in my book so that it multiplied itself. $*3^TODAY*0
1060K29 I stopped my car along the same road. ^*I wore my favourite blue shirt
1070K29 and trousers and had a silk scarf loosely knotted round my neck. ^*I
1080K29 decided to_ halt near the peacock crag on my way back after meeting
1090K29 \0Mr Govinda Rao*'s widow Janakamma. ^It didn*'4t matter if my wife
1100K29 nagged me for being late. $^*I crossed the hedge. ^The hill-hibiscus
1110K29 plants were still there with huge bunches of red flowers. ^These,
1120K29 I knew from boyhood, ripen into tiny red berries. ^*I also saw a
1130K29 large number of *3*4kakey*0 bushes laden with their blackish, exceedingly
1140K29 sweet berries. ^The fact that the branches bore so many berries meant
1150K29 that there were no children around. ^Yes, where should children come
1160K29 from, when Janakamma had none herself? $^The tiled house which now
1170K29 looks a moderately large one seemed huge in my childhood. ^It suited
1180K29 the Vikramaditya stories that_ Janakamma used to_ tell me when I slept
1190K29 there now and then. ^It was a house of lofts and attics, many dark
1200K29 corners and carved beams, all of which made the fairy tales come true.
1210K29 ^The room upstairs in which Janakamma slept, with its Ravi Varma
1220K29 pictures, its broad high bedstead with thick, strong legs and its aroma
1230K29 of incense-sticks and sandal, conjured up for me the bedrooms to which
1240K29 princesses invited handsome princes with rope ladders and hid away
1250K29 their secret lovers transformed into pet parrots. $*3^ON*0 the day
1260K29 I was asked to_ fetch my father, I went with eager steps to the courtyard
1270K29 and was taken aback by the deformed deaf-mute I saw. ^She had
1280K29 hanging cheeks, a broad face with a nose which was too small for it,
1290K29 a large vermilion mark, a head of tousled hair. ^She jabbered something.
1300K29 $^*I knew she was always there and yet I was a little scared. ^She
1310K29 was Kalyani, Janakmma*'s sister-in-law. ^She had been born deformed
1320K29 and dumb and had been married off for appearance*'s sake to_ a cripple
1330K29 as his second wife. ^Her clothes were always wet and she always had
1340K29 a bucket. ^Either she was cleaning and wiping the courtyard, or she
1350K29 lay coiled in the corner, like a snake. ^From her labour, the cement
1360K29 floor of the courtyard shone like a mirror. ^The reason for her jabbering
1370K29 that_ day was the dust on my feet. ^*I went back, washed my feet
1380K29 outside the door and returned. $^*Kalyani crawled up to me. "^Where
1390K29 is father?" ^*I asked her. ^She must have understood although she
1400K29 could not hear. ^Her pallid face reddened, like a chameleon*'s. ^Contorting
1410K29 her lips in some kind of mirth, she pushed me towards the bathing
1420K29 room. ^*I went where she pushed. ^*I could not make out why father should
1430K29 be having a bath in the afternoon. $^When Kalyani and I were a
1440K29 few feet from the door of the bathing room she stopped crawling and gestured
1450K29 as if to_ say that now I was on my own and she turned back after
1460K29 making sure that I had understood. ^She probably wiped the floor
1470K29 where my feet had left wet prints. $^*I heard sounds of a pitcher being
1480K29 filled and water being poured out. ^*I also heard father*'s laughter.
1490K29 ^*I had never heard him laugh at home. ^He was curt and rough when
1500K29 he spoke to mother. ^*I peeped in from the door. $^Father was naked and
1510K29 was bending down. ^*Janakamma was rubbing his back with soapnut powder.
1520K29 ^Seeing me Janakamma came out. ^She hugged me and took me to the
1530K29 kitchen and gave me *3*5rave unde*6*0 and *3*4kodubale. ^She filled
1540K29 both my pockets with *3*4kodubale. ^She said that since my mother was
1550K29 ill and could not give father his oil bath, she had to_ do so. ^She took
1560K29 me to her room upstairs and showed the peacock crag through the window
1570K29 and asked me, "^Darling, do you want to_ go there?" ^She told me
1580K29 not to_ tell mother that father was having an oil bath because mother*'s
1590K29 fever would increase. $^*I said *3*4huh*0 to everything and when
1600K29 I ran back Kalyani shouted at me. ^She was coiled in the corner like
1610K29 a snake and she called to me.*#
        **[no. of words = 02019**]


        **[txt. k30**]
0010K30 **<*3Train Ride*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^What in the King*'s
0020K30 name was an Indian doing in a first class compartment? ^It was a
0030K30 mistake. ^It was outrageous. ^The fellow had to_ be evicted at all costs.*0
0040K30 **[leader comment end**] $*3^OF*0 all the incidents that_ I
0050K30 can recall from my travels, the one that_ sticks out the most in my mind
0060K30 occurred two years ago while I was in the Transvaal. ^*I had been
0070K30 entrusted with papers outlining our troop movements and I was to_
0080K30 deliver these papers to the Governor in Johannesburg. ^It was exactly
0090K30 at this time, you will recall, that we were involved in teaching the
0100K30 recalcitrant natives-- or Zulus, as they prefer to_ be called-- the finer
0110K30 points of living, and behaving, under the generous rule of His Majesty.
0120K30 $^At any rate, I decided to_ take a train for the last stage
0130K30 of my journey from Pretoria to Johannesburg. ^*I travelled first class,
0140K30 of course. $^One obtains so many services and facilites in first
0150K30 class: shower and toilet space; comfortable seating; a bed; room service;
0160K30 and, most important of all, privacy. ^The latter I particularly
0170K30 cherished because a lady friend, the wife of a fellow passenger (a
0180K30 rather dull, insipid sort), had taken quite a fancy to me and she would
0190K30 drop in from time to time, if you know what I mean, when her husband
0200K30 would retire for the night. ^Besides, second and third class were
0210K30 always crowded with the coloured Asian folk, especially Indians. ^The
0220K30 Transvaal was simply infested with them and it was really a relief
0230K30 when we introduced legislation to_ limit their entry into South Africa.
0240K30 $*3^WELL,*0 I was preparing for my afternoon nap soon after the
0250K30 train had pulled out of Malweo when a rapping sound on my compartment
0260K30 window caught my attention. ^A small, brown face was staring into
0270K30 the compartment. ^*I had not asked for room service; thus, I was not
0280K30 expecting an Indian at my door. ^To my astonishment, and without a
0290K30 by-your-leave, he entered and deposited himself on the sofa. ^He did
0300K30 not stop there. ^He proceeded to_ remove his shoes and socks, which
0310K30 had turned a sour yellow with improper care, and crossed his legs. ^*I
0320K30 was simply shocked at his actions. ^What in the King*'s name was an
0330K30 Indian doing in a first class compartment? $^*I recovered sufficiently
0340K30 to_ pull the room service cord and a servant promptly appeared.
0350K30 ^Another coloured. (^Frankly, I was getting increasingly irritated
0360K30 with the breed at this stage.) ^*I told him in pidgin English, which
0370K30 he understood rather well, to_ call his supervisor. ^Waiting for the
0380K30 supervisor gave me an opportunity to_ observe, for the first time, my
0390K30 intruder. $^He was not badly dressed, for an Indian. ^In fact, taking
0400K30 into account most Indians I know, it was a surprise to_ find him
0410K30 dressed at all. ^He had on black trousers, a white shirt and a black
0420K30 coat. ^Nothing very stylish or smart. ^The collar of his shirt was so
0430K30 heavily starched that the starch was dripping out, leaving white flakes
0440K30 on his coat. ^His bare feet sported toenails that were horribly chipped,
0450K30 and in the short time I had been observing him, he had dug into
0460K30 his nose twice, quite oblivious of my presence. ^He was not terribly
0470K30 dark though; probably a North Indian. $^The timely arrival of the supervisor
0480K30 interrupted my thoughts. ^*I explained my plight to him and
0490K30 he assured me the matter would be immediately rectified. ^The supervisor,
0500K30 a decent soul of Welsh origin, had spent some time in India and
0510K30 he proceeded to_ try out his frugal command of various Indian dialects
0520K30 on this troublesome character in an effort to_ communicate with
0530K30 him. ^Apparently they managed to_ hit some common point after several
0540K30 attempts because they began to_ jabber and gesticulate. $^The Indian
0550K30 removed a piece of paper from his coat pocket and gave it to the supervisor,
0560K30 who returned it after examining it closely. ^*I noticed that it
0570K30 was a first class ticket, very similar to mine. ^The supervisor straightened
0580K30 his back and sighed. ^He gestured to me to_ go outside into
0590K30 the corridor with him. ^*I complied, making sure to_ keep one eye on
0591K30 the Indian
0600K30 in my room. $^The supervisor explained that the Indian was in
0610K30 my compartment because he had a first class ticket issued in Malweo
0620K30 and that the coach he had been allocated happened to be the same as mine.
0630K30 ^*I would have to_ share my compartment with him all the way to Johannesburg,
0640K30 another two days in the train! ^*I was incredulous. ^Did not
0650K30 the Transport Authority always, without exception, refuse to_
0660K30 issue first class tickets to coloureds, I asked. ^He nodded assent,
0670K30 but perhaps the authorities in Malweo had made a mistake, or perhaps
0680K30 the Indian was an important dignity of his country. ^*I thought
0690K30 the latter unlikely. $^Could nothing be used to_ evict the unwelcome
0700K30 passenger? ^Perhaps a little physical force to_ help him on his way?
0710K30 ^No, replied the supervisor; his ticket was legitimate. ^He did advise
0720K30 me to_ check with the authorities at Kubai, our next stop. ^Perhaps
0730K30 they could help. $^*I was at my wits*' end. ^*I did not really care
0740K30 why the Indian was in my compartment. ^*I just-- understandably so--
0750K30 wanted him out of it. ^*I had no intention of having some Bengali
0760K30 or Gujarati or whatever as a roommate for two days. ^*I cringed
0770K30 when I wondered what my friends at home would think if they got to_
0780K30 hear about it. ^*I would never live it down. ^Besides; it would mean
0790K30 no company (and affection) from my lady friend. ^She was a very proper
0800K30 woman and would not particularly care for this Indian*'s presence.
0810K30 $*3^DURING*0 this time, the Indian had stretched himself out on
0820K30 the sofa. ^When I re-entered the compartment his eyes were shut
0830K30 and he appeared to_ be dozing. ^*I shook him and woke him up. ^My plan
0840K30 was to_ irritate him sufficiently so that he would leave on his own
0850K30 accord. ^However, he smiled at me and said "gud morrning serr,"
0851K30 **[sic**] although
0860K30 it was mid-afternoon. ^Oh, how I despise that_ heavy Indian
0870K30 accent! ^*I gestured to him to_ leave the room by repeatedly pointing
0880K30 to him and then pointing outside. ^He nodded his head and said, "gud
0890K30 morrninng, serr!" **[sic**] ^So I took his shoes and socks, his
0891K30 only portable
0900K30 property, and placed them outside. ^He got up, retrieved his things,
0910K30 returned and said, "dank you, serr." **[sic**] ^Needless to_ say,
0911K30 I was getting
0920K30 quite exasperated now. $^*I took his things again and this time
0930K30 threw them way down the corridor, quite viciously too, I am not sorry
0940K30 to_ add. ^When he went to_ get them, I locked the compartment from
0950K30 the inside and drew the curtains. ^*I had my fingers crossed that
0960K30 he would get the message that he was not very welcome. ^But he was
0970K30 an absolute ignoramus. ^He started knocking incessantly on my window
0980K30 I could not bear the noise and was forced to_ open the door for him.
0990K30 ^He said, "dank you, serr." **[sic**] $^*I had no choice now but
0991K30 to_ wait until
1000K30 we arrived at Kubai. ^*I was doubly irrited because I had missed
1010K30 my afternoon siesta and I was certainly in no mood for tea. ^*I could
1020K30 not even visit any of my friends travelling with me for fear that the
1030K30 Indian would run off with my belongings. $*3^IT*0 seemed an eternity
1040K30 before we arrived at Kubai. ^Fortunately, the Indian chose
1050K30 to_ leave the train, ostensibly to_ get a breath of fresh air. ^This gave
1060K30 me the opportunity to_ look up and contact the station master. $^*I
1070K30 explained the matter to him; he expressed grave surprise that I had
1080K30 an Indian in my first class compartment. ^He told me he occasionally
1090K30 had cases when coloureds would try to_ sneak into first class compartments
1100K30 just to_ spite the authorities. ^*I was assured that it did not
1110K30 matter that the Indian had a first class ticket; if he did not leave
1120K30 peaceably, he would be forcibly evicted. ^The goodly station master
1130K30 called two men to his side, fine strong fellows they were, and we walked
1140K30 back together to the train. $^Imagine our disgust when we returned
1150K30 to_ find, not one Indian, but FIVE in my room-- my Indian, two
1160K30 other males and two females. ^All were barefoot and all were squatting
1170K30 on the carpeted floor. ^And do you know what they were doing? ^They
1180K30 were all eating, out of some circular tray, a totally unappetising mixture
1190K30 of thick, brown, congealed, cold beans and rice. ^And they were
1200K30 eating it, believe it or not, with their hands. $*3^*I HAVE*0 never
1210KK0 seen men move as fast and as efficiently as the station master and his
1220K30 aides. ^They took the tray of food and threw it out of one of the corridor
1230K30 windows. ^The two aides then seized two of the males and ushered
1240K30 them out of the room. ^My Indian merely sat down on the sofa. ^It
1250K30 did not take much to_ encourage the females to_ exit as rapidly as they
1260K30 possibly could. $^The two aides returned and proceeded to_ "persuade"
1270K30 the Indian to_ remove himself. ^But he clung to the arm of the
1280K30 sofa and refused to_ comply, all the while shaking his head. ^One of
1290K30 the aides gave the Indian a generous clout on the head; he still clung
1300K30 on. ^He desperately produced his first class ticket and gave it to
1310K30 the station master, who glanced at it and tore it into two. ^There went
1320K30 the Indian*'s right to my room. ^The aides then bodily picked up the
1330K30 Indian-- he was very slight in build-- and transported him away. $^*I
1340K30 felt quite relieved that the matter was resolved and thanked the station
1350K30 master warmly for his assistance. ^Any time, he replied. ^A very
1360K30 good sort. $^*I called room service to_ clean up the mess made by
1370K30 the coloureds in my room. ^*I was sorely tempted to_ request another
1380K30 compartment from the supervisor. *^I felt sort of grubby staying where
1390K30 I was. ^Perhaps a shower would help, I thought. *^I took one; it
1400K30 thoroughly refreshed me and put me in the proper frame of mind for dinner.
1410K30 $^Dinner was an entertaining affair; it was topped off when my
1420K30 lady friend, who was sitting at another table with her husband, winked
1430K30 at me. ^It was her signal that she would be by that_ night. ^Excellent,
1440K30 I thought. $*3^*I WALKED*0 back to my room feeling a lot better
1450K30 than I had in quite a while. ^My gaiety was short-lived, however.
1460K30 ^As I turned into my corridor, I was confronted by the depressing
1470K30 sight of my Indian rapping furiously on my compartment window. ^Luckily,
1480K30 he did not notice me. ^He must have climbed back into the train before
1490K30 we pulled out of Kubai. *^I realised that I would have to_ do something
1500K30 quite drastic in order to_ keep the pest out of my room. ^At
1510K30 any rate, I was struck with a brainwave, the sort of divine inspiration
1520K30 that_ enlightens one in times of great stress. $^As you know, I am
1530K30 in the habit of carrying a cane which has a gold knob for a head. ^Well,
1540K30 I crept up on the Indian and, as hard as I possibly could, brained
1550K30 him with it. ^He collapsed without a sound. ^*I then dragged him,
1560K30 to the best of my abilities, to the freight box which adjoins the first
1570K30 class carriage. *^I slid open the door of the freight car, no mean
1580K30 task, and pushed the Indian over the side! ^We must have been travelling
1590K30 at a clip of at least twenty miles an hour!*#
        **[no. of words = 01936**]

        **[txt. k31**]
0010K31 **<*3The Steelmaker*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $^He had seen his
0020K31 enthusiastic ideas for improving production vetoed, laughed at or simply
0030K31 ignored by those higher up. ^But the sense of purpose and achievement
0040K31 enjoyed by his team of workers made up for everything-- or did it? **[leader
0050K31 comment end**] $^*AJAY woke up exactly at a quarter to five
0060K31 and stretched a hand towards the telephone. ^Before he could lift
0070K31 the receiver off the hook, it began to_ ring. $"^Morning, Rajan. ^How
0080K31 are things?" asked Ajay. ^It was a routine question. "^Good morning,
0090K31 Sir. ^The slag pot has gone through!" ^There was an apprehensive squash
0100K31 in the voice at the other end of the wire. "^What! ^How did it
0110K31 happen?" exclaimed Ajay. ^He was wide awake now. $^A lengthy description
0120K31 of the disaster followed. $^As he was listening to the phone, Ajay
0130K31 was aware of Priti, his thirteen-year-old daughter, who was trying
0140K31 to_ catch his attention. $^Into the telephone he said, "^Very well,
0150K31 then. ^*I will be there in a few minutes!" ^He waved away his daughter
0160K31 saying, "^Some other time, Priti. ^*I have no time to_ teach you
0170K31 maths now." $"^Papa, please... I have been up since 4 o*'3clock."
0180K31 ^*Priti*'s eyes were full of tears. ^*Ajay knew his daughter*'s fear
0190K31 of maths. ^He also knew that she had her maths examination that_ day, and
0200K31 that he should speak encouragingly to her. ^But his own anxiety about
0210K31 the breakdown in the Steel Melting Shop made him snap at her.
0220K31 $"^Get away from me, Priti! ^You wasted a whole year and now you want
0230K31 me to_ teach you maths! ^You can*'4t learn one year*'s maths in one
0240K31 hour!" $^Feeling ashamed of himself, he shouted to his wife to_ get him
0250K31 a cup of tea. ^He pulled on his *4khaki trousers and shirt hurriedly,
0260K31 wore his socks and shoes and shouted for his helmet. ^By the time
0270K31 he had finished dressing, the coffee was ready. ^He drank the scalding
0280K31 potion at one go and ran to_ get his scooter. $*3^AMONG*0 the daily
0290K31 hazards of a Steel Melting Shop, the worst is when the slag pot
0300K31 gives way. ^To_ make steel, the red hot pig iron from the blast furnaces
0310K31 is fed into the converters, where it is refined to the required
0320K31 specification by adding lime and blowing oxygen. ^Whether it is the tougher
0330K31 steel meant for the railway line, or the more malleable steel required
0340K31 for household tin cans, the technician can produce it to the exact
0350K31 requirement by controlling the oxygen and lime. ^The molten white
0360K31 hot iron bubbles and froths in the converter, which looks rather like
0370K31 a giant witches*' cauldron. ^The impurities bubble angrily to the top.
0380K31 ^The witches*' potion they form are swiftly decanted into the waiting
0390K31 muck-dressed iron pots mounted on their own cars with attendants,
0400K31 and carted away electrically on rails. ^The remaining pure steel at
0410K31 the bottom of the cauldron is tapped into ladles with alloys and cast
0420K31 into ingots the size of minibuses which are later rolled into sheets
0430K31 or rails. ^Sometimes the slag is too hot even for the slag pot to_ hold
0440K31 it and the pot cracks: the red hot molten slag runs out all over the
0450K31 rails and solidifies in a matter of minutes. $^This is the nightmare
0460K31 of the steelmaker. ^When this happens, the engineers have to_ waste
0470K31 a lot of time and energy putting everything back into working order.
0480K31 $^*Ajay*'s wife Veena, who was holding the gate open for him, said,
0490K31 "^*Ajay, I am worried about Priti." $"^Don*'4t be. ^It is all an act
0500K31 she*'1s putting on. ^She*'3ll be \0OK... ^Bye!" he cried and raced
0510K31 away. $^When Ajay reached the Steel Melting Shop he saw that
0520K31 the situation there was as bad as he had feared. ^The molten slag which
0530K31 had spilled out on the rails was solidifying rapidly. ^The slag
0540K31 pot car was stuck fast under the cable drum. ^There were intermittent
0550K31 muffled explosions. ^A number of people were there, keeping a safe distance
0560K31 from the converter. ^*Ajay beckoned to the slag pot car attendant,
0570K31 whose job was to_ move the car on the rail track. $"^Why have
0580K31 you not moved away the car, Khan?" $^The attendant was a dour man, but
0590K31 good at his work. "^Can*'4t you hear the explosions?" he mumbled sullenly.
0600K31 $*3^*AJAY*0 looked at the water collected around the converter.
0610K31 ^He and other engineers had long recognised the dangers of this seepage
0620K31 water right under the 1,600 degrees centigrade converter and had
0630K31 repeatedly warned the management. ^But the management, beset with more
0640K31 urgent and taxing problems had done nothing about it so far. ^When
0650K31 the converters were first built 12 years ago, due to some faulty engineering,
0660K31 water leaking from the water-cooled stacks trickled down to_
0670K31 collect under the converters. ^In the course of years, the amount of
0680K31 water leaking had collected in such quantities that it was like a bomb
0690K31 ready to_ explode under their noses. $^Something had to_ be done about
0700K31 it, resolved Ajay. ^But first the work on hand. ^He told Rajan, the
0710K31 foreman, to_ tap the heat. ^The steel in the converter was tapped out
0720K31 into the steel ladles and sent away to the pit site, to_ be made into
0730K31 ingots. ^The converter was now empty. ^The Fire Brigade, which had
0740K31 been called in, started action promptly and began dousing the car and
0750K31 the cable. $^Converter \0C would be down for 24 hours Ajay calculated.
0760K31 ^But the other two converters would go into action despite the
0770K31 breakdown, thanks to a simple invention of his which isolated the broken
0780K31 down converter from the others and enabled them to_ carry on production
0790K31 as usual. ^This was not the case a year ago. ^Then, when a breakdown
0800K31 occurred-- as it did all too frequently-- all the converters had to_
0810K31 stop work until the fault was set right. ^*Ajay thought with pride
0820K31 that this improvement has been achieved solely throught his ingenuity.
0830K31 ^It was a very simple thing he had done, but it saved the steel plant
0840K31 *4lakhs of *4rupees every year. ^He wondered when he would get the
0850K31 five hundred rupees reward announced for his invention. ^Perhaps a
0860K31 small function would be organised, with photographers and all, and
0870K31 the General Manager would say a few words before presenting him the
0880K31 cheque. ^*Ajay glowed for a moment in happy anticipation. $*3^HE*0
0890K31 was one of the hundreds of whiz kids who were recruited from reputed
0900K31 universities into the nation*'s service during the first Five-Year
0910K31 Plan and trained abroad. ^His American experience he regarded as a
0920K31 dream. ^He had been described as "a black-haired, bright-eyed young engineer
0930K31 from India" by a girl reporter when he landed in America for
0940K31 his training. $^Now, at 40, he looked slightly undernourished and his
0950K31 eyes had dimmed somewhat. ^Though his hair was still black, little of
0960K31 it was left. ^This he attributed to the frustrations he felt. ^Early
0970K31 in his career he had recognised the fact that his American training
0980K31 was suitable only for American conditions and had no relation to the
0990K31 haphazard Indian way of making a steel plant run. ^That it ran at all
1000K31 was a miracle. $^He had opted for the most exciting and prestigious
1010K31 of departments, by his American trained standards, the Steel Melting
1020K31 Shop. ^He had not regretted it, though he had seen his enthusiastic
1030K31 ideas for improving production vetoed, laughed at or simply ignored
1040K31 by those higher up, with typical Indian fatalism. ^He had seen his
1050K31 less industrious but more shrewd colleagues in less exacting departments
1060K31 rise higher and higher, while he was still a General Foreman in
1070K31 his own demanding section. ^But the sense of achievement, of adventure,
1080K31 and the *8espirit de corps*9 enjoyed by the officers and workmen
1090K31 in his department were unique. ^It made up for everything. $^*Ajay
1100K31 now turned to his counterpart in Mechanical Maintenance: "*5^Kya,
1110K31 Jain Saab*6, how long will it take?" $"^At least six to eight hours,
1120K31 *4Saab. ^We have only one dozer." $"^What happened to the other one?"
1130K31 $"^It is under preventive maintenance," was the laconic reply. $^*Ajay
1140K31 knew that they had to_ have two dozers to_ release the car which
1150K31 had got stuck. ^He would have to_ telephone other departments and somehow
1160K31 manage to_ get another dozer or else the breakdown could go on for
1170K31 20 hours or more. ^A 45-minute delay in production cost the steel plant
1180K31 50 tonnes of steel. ^To_ counter this, a young engineer had come up
1190K31 with a simple but brilliant idea; but nothing had been done about it.
1200K31 $^*AJAY telephoned the Blast Furnace Control. ^He had to_ inform
1210K31 them about the off-take for hot metal; that he could not consume
1220K31 hot metal meant for the converter. ^He knew he would be precipitating
1230K31 a minor crisis in the Blast Furnace Department by his action and
1240K31 smiled wryly. ^After informing Blast Furnace and listening grimly
1250K31 to the ensuing tirade for ten minutes, he telephoned other departments,
1260K31 begging for a dozer. ^All the dozers seemed to_ be either busy or
1270K31 under repair. ^His efforts at last had some success when he contacted
1280K31 the Scrap and Salvage department. ^He arranged a dozer operator to_
1290K31 be brought from his quarters immediately. ^He would then bring the
1300K31 dozer to the spot. $^*Gupta, a foreman, came to him. "^Your wife had
1310K31 phoned the Control. ^She told me to_ convey a message to you. ^Your
1320K31 daughter is not well." $"^Where was she speaking from?" $"^From hospital."
1330K31 $"^Thanks. ^*I shall contact her later." $^Men had started clearing
1340K31 the hot slag accumulation on the rails with shovels, crowbars and
1350K31 hooks. "^Thank God the car has not been derailed!" thought Ajay.
1360K31 ^Derailment of the 80-tonne slag pot car in that_ area, where no crane
1370K31 facility was available, would only mean hours of agonising labour
1380K31 and loss of production which could run into hundreds of tonnes. ^In the
1390K31 18 years of his service in the Public Sector Undertaking, there
1400K31 was not a single month when everything went on smoothly. ^Sometimes the
1410K31 hot metal from the Blast Furnace was not of the required quality,
1420K31 sometimes it was the cranes or the locos that_ stalled, more often it was
1430K31 simple human error. $*3^TWO*0 hours after he had phoned Scrap and
1440K31 Salvage department, the dozer had still not come. ^*Ajay telephoned
1450K31 his house. ^There was no reply. $^When the dozer finally arrived at
1460KL1 1 o*'3clock the operator was evidently in a bad mood. ^The shift would
1470K31 change at 2 o*'3clock. ^The job could certainly not be done in one
1480K31 hour. ^*Ajay sent one of his workmen running to_ fetch a bottle of Fanta
1490K31 for the irascible dozer operator. ^Then he remembered the other
1500K31 dozer operator and also got him a bottle of Fanta, looking ruefully
1510K31 at his depleted wallet. $^The cold beverage had its effect, and the
1520K31 grumpy operator became almost friendly. ^The workers and officers
1530K31 fixed the slings from the dozers on to the car and positioned the dozer
1540K31 for simultaneous pushing and pulling. ^The dozers were started and
1550K31 there was an earsplitting roar from the machines. ^After ten minutes
1560K31 of pandemonium, the slag pot gave a perceptible lurch. ^There were
1570K31 shouts of excitement and cries of "*5^Hil gaya--*6 it moved!" $^The
1580K31 dozers started again. ^Abruptly the dozer operator from Machanical Maintenance,
1590K31 who looked like a dormouse, stopped pulling and folded his
1600K31 arms across his chest. $"^What happened?" shouted a dozen voices. $"^This
1610K31 won*'4t take any more load!" said the operator, getting down from
1620K31 the dozer. $"*(^Try karo*) *4yaar only ten minutes," cried Ajay frantically.
1630K31 ^He was only dimly aware of a man shouting in his ear, "Ajay
1640K31 *4Saab, phone from your wife-- the daughter is serious." $"^Yes, yes.
1650K31 *(^Try karo*) *4yaar!" ^After much cajoling, the man got into the
1660K31 machine again and the dozers started their roar again. $*3^*AJAY*0 looked
1670K31 at his watch. ^Five to three. ^If he was lucky, the breakdown would
1680K31 be rectified soon and he would be able to_ go home. ^The car moved a
1690K31 few reluctant inches more. ^Suddenly, there was a sickening thud. ^A wail
1700K31 went up from the crowd. ^There could be no mistaking this sound.
1710K31 ^The slag car had got derailed.*#
        **[no. of words = 02006**]

        **[txt. k32**]
0010K32 **<*3"Fortune*'s Darlings*0"**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^They
0020K32 were very rich, very discontented and convinced that the world owed
0030K32 them privileges not granted to the lower orders.*0 **[leader comment
0040K32 end**] $"^WHAT awful weather for a holiday!" ^*Roopali exclaimed
0050K32 petulantly as she and her mother, \0Mrs Prasad, trudged in a cold
0060K32 drizzle to their hotel in Gulmarg. $^In Gulmarg it rains suddenly
0070K32 and as abruptly clears up, but the roads had become slushy and the two
0080K32 women found walking an unpleasent experience. ^They were decidedly
0090K32 out of temper by the time they reached the hotel. $^An elderly man in
0100K32 a grey uniform, with the silver badge of the room bearer pinned to his
0110K32 turban, showed them to their room. "^Welcome, *4memsahib," he said.
0120K32 "^*I am Khizir Muhammad, your room bearer. ^*I hope you have a
0130K32 comfortable stay." ^He took the duster he carried over his shoulder and
0140K32 began flicking the dust from the tables and the chairs. $\0^*Mrs Prasad
0150K32 threw herself into a chair. "^Get tea and toast and be quick about
0160K32 it!" ^Her voice had a bark in it. $^*Khizir Muhammad trotted off
0170K32 to the kitchen and Roopali said, "^It has been a terrible day." ^Then,
0180K32 brightening up, she added, "^But we got the better of that_ fellow
0190K32 at Delhi Airport." $\0^*Mrs Prasad was a rich widow who felt herself
0200K32 threatened by high prices, high taxes and the Land Ceiling Acts
0210K32 which were eroding her wealth and position. ^Her daughter thought as
0220K32 she did and both were dissatisfied with life. ^But they were happy
0230K32 when they managed to_ wrest some special dispensation for themselves,
0240K32 concessions they were not entitled to in the normal way. ^It made them
0250K32 feel superior to the common herd of people, a feeling they relished.
0260K32 $^*Roopali had suddenly decided to_ accompany her mother to Kashmir
0270K32 and had no reservation on the Delhi-Srinagar flight. ^But she knew
0280K32 a bigwig with influenece and he had said, "^Come to the airport with
0290K32 your baggage and join the queue for the flight to Srinagar." $"^Are
0300K32 you trying to_ be funny?" ^*Roopali had asked. "^You know I*'3m
0310K32 twenty-third on the waiting list." $"^Don*'4t worry about that_, Roopali.
0320K32 ^*I*'3ll be there to_ help you. ^Stand in the queue and behave as
0330K32 if you are one of the regular passengers. ^If somebody happens to_
0340K32 cancel his ticket, I*'3ll see that you get his seat." $^*Roopali
0350K32 was near the counter when a young man brushed past her and asked the
0360K32 clerk excitedly, "^Is there a cancellation? ^*I am Sharma and my name
0370K32 is at the top of the waiting list." $^Out of long practice, the clerk
0380K32 said, "^We*'3ll inform you if there is a cancellation. ^Please wait
0390K32 in the lounge, Sir." $^The young man left and when there was a cancellation
0400K32 the seat was quietly given to Roopali. $^Fortified by the memory
0410K32 of this, and after bathing and changing, \0Mrs Prasad and Roopali
0420K32 went down to the hotel*'s dining hall which was huge and furnished
0430K32 in an old-fashioned style. $"^It is chilly," \0Mrs Prasad remarked,
0440K32 occupying a table near the fireplace. ^She slipped a five rupee
0450K32 note to the waiter. "^*I want this place every time I come down to
0460K32 the dining hall," she told him. "^*I can*'4t stand this cold." $^The
0470K32 waiter pocketed the money and nodded understandingly. $"^Get the menu,"
0480K32 Roopali ordered. $"^Vegetarian or non-vegetarian, *4memsahib?" $"^Get
0490K32 both the menus," Roopali commanded. $"^We have orders to_ inform
0500K32 the kitchen in advance whether guests will have vegetarian or non-vegetarian
0510K32 food, *4memsahib." $"^Oh, is that_ so? ^Ask the manager to_ come
0520K32 here at once." \0^*Mrs Prasad spoke in an offended tone. $*3^THE*0
0530K32 Manager was middle-aged and harassed, but he listened attentively
0540K32 while \0Mrs Prasad and Roopali spoke at length about their need and
0550K32 desire to_ choose from both the menus. ^When he tried to_ protest he
0560K32 was deluged by a fresh spate of words. ^At last he gave in, leaving
0570K32 the women the victors. $^But that_ did not mean the end of the poor man*'s
0580K32 ordeal. \0^*Mrs Prasad or Roopali would frequently send for him
0590K32 to_ ask authoritatively, "^Why is there no chicken soup today?" (^Or
0600K32 vegetable curry, or mixed grill or fried rice or whatever else.) $^He
0610K32 would look apologetic and they would say, "^We pay so much and don*'4t
0620K32 get satisfactory food!" $^They would then proceed to_ give the Manager
0630K32 detailed instructions about their preferences and he would promise
0640K32 to_ get them what they wanted. ^Then \0Mrs Prasad would rummage
0650K32 in her handbag and take out a twenty rupee note. "^Here is some money
0660K32 for fruits. ^See that you arrange to_ get mangoes and bananas from Delhi.
0670K32 ^We are fed up with the strawberries and cherries that_ you have
0680K32 been giving us every day since our arrival here." $^In Delhi, of course,
0690K32 \0Mrs Prasad and Roopali paid exorbitantly for strawberries and
0700K32 cherries, but it was different in Gulmarg. ^In Gulmarg, they wanted
0710K32 mangoes and bananas. $^Every morning after breakfast \0Mrs Prasad
0720K32 and Roopali went for a walk. ^As soon as they left the hotel compound
0730K32 they were mobbed by the owners of ponies. "*4Memsahib! *4Memsahib!
0740K32 ^Hire my pony for a ride to Khilanmarg." $"^We don*'4t want to_ visit
0750K32 Khilanmarg. ^Out of our way!" $^Olive green army jeeps drove past
0760K32 and \0Mrs Prasad frowned. "^They don*'4t allow honest holiday
0770K32 makers to_ bring their cars here, but allow these ugly jeeps to_ drive
0780K32 round inconveniencing everybody." $^*Roopali said,
0790K32 "^Mother, did you notice how haughty the men in the jeep looked?" $^If
0800K32 they met friends they discussed these and other grievances, but mostly
0810K32 they kept to themselves. "^Nowadays, you don*'4t meet the right
0820K32 kind of people. ^*I detest the *8nouveau riche*9
0830K32 who..." ^They would shudder and leave the sentence unfinished. $^When
0840K32 \0Mrs Prasad and Roopali reached the little *4bazar they were invariably
0850K32 surrounded by hawkers selling fruits, by shopkeepers selling Kashmir
0860K32 curios, silks and embroidered *4shawls, carved woodwork and precious
0870K32 and semi-precious stones. \0^*Mrs Prasad would ask one of them,
0880K32 "^Do you have woollen socks?" $"^No, *4memsahib, but here is a beautifully
0890K32 embroidered *4shawl. ^All done by hand." $"^We don*'4t want a *4shawl.
0900K32 ^Do we, Roopali?" $"^No, mother. ^But I want cells for my torch."
0910K32 $^The cells were not available and cursing Gulmarg where they could
0920K32 not get the ordinary amenities of civilised life, they would return
0930K32 to the hotel feeling hot and bothered. ^There they would find Khizir
0940K32 Muhammad sitting in the sun. $"^Had a nice walk, *4memsahib?" he would
0950K32 ask with unfailing politeness. $"^No. ^It*'1s impossible to_ walk
0960K32 without being beseiged by people trying to_ sell us things we don*'4t
0970K32 want. ^It*'1s most annoying." $^*Khizir muhammad would smile and
0980K32 say mildly. "^What can they do, *4memsahib? ^Soon the season will
0990K32 be over and the tourists will stop coming. ^In winter there will be snowfall
1000K32 and blizzards and nothing will grow. ^This is the only time they
1010K32 can earn." $"^Does that_ mean that they must try to_ skin us?" \0^*Mrs
1020K32 Prasad*'s voice rose belligerently on such occasions. $"^No no,
1030K32 of course not." $"^You may go, Khizir Muhammad." ^*Roopali would royally
1040K32 dismiss him. $"^Insolent fellow! ^He*'3ll have to_ be put in his
1050K32 place," \0Mrs Prasad would look after him with righteous indignation.
1060K32 $^But it was not easy to_ put Khizir Muhammad in his place. ^He
1070K32 had been in the hotel for nearly half a century and was very proud of
1080K32 the fact that the smart and sophisticated hotel guests could not get
1090K32 on without his help. ^Also, he was something of a philosopher-- which
1100K32 they soon found out. $*3^ONE*0 afternoon there was a heavy downpour
1110K32 and it turned cold. \0^*Mrs Prasad had a fire lit in her room and
1120K32 stayed there. ^*Roopali urgently needed some face cream and walked down
1130K32 to the *4bazar. ^It was bitterly cold and she shivered in spite of the
1140K32 sweater and coat she wore. ^On her return, she took a short cut, lost
1150K32 her way and found herself in the servants*' quarters at the back of
1160K32 the hotel. $^A few men sat huddled in the long verandah in front of their
1170K32 rooms and one of them called out, "^Turn left for your room, *4memsahib.
1180K32 ^The right turn will take you to the other block." $^*Roopali
1190K32 found the voice familiar and looked sharply at the speaker only to_
1200K32 find that it was Khizir Muhammad. ^He appeared quite different without
1210K32 his uniform and turban-- older, frailer and emaciated. ^In the bitter
1220K32 cold he and the others wore nothing but the capacious robes the poorer
1230K32 Kashmiris wear, and they did not look too warm. $^As a rule Roopali
1240K32 was not interested in the problems of what she called "the lower
1250K32 orders" but she noticed Khizir Muhammad*'s fingers swollen with chilblains
1260K32 when he brought in her tea the next morning. "^It was very cold
1270K32 yesterday, but I suppose you are used to it and don*'4t feel it
1280K32 as much as we do," she observed. $"^Oh, *4memsahib, I feel the cold
1290K32 because I am no longer young. ^It is the *4kangri-- the brazier--
1300K32 which helps me to_ manage." $^*Roopali remembered how old and vulnerable
1310K32 he had looked the previous day and she asked, "^How will you manage,
1320K32 Khizir Muhammad, when you can no longer work? ^Will your sons take
1330K32 care of you?" $"^*I have no sons. ^No children." $"^Then perhaps you
1340K32 have some property on which you can fall back?" ^*Roopali asked. $"^*I
1350K32 have nothing, *4memsahib, but I will manage." $"^How?" ^*Roopali
1360K32 was curious. $"^*God will take care of me, as he takes care of all His
1370K32 creatures," Khizir Muhammad said confidently. $"^You seem to_ be
1380K32 very sure of that_!" $"^*I am uneducated and ignorant, *4memsahib,
1390K32 but I observe life. ^When a child is born the mother*'s breasts are
1400K32 full of milk to_ feed it, but when it grows up, her breasts dry up. ^Isn*'4t
1410K32 it wonderful how God provides for the new-born child? ^We are
1420K32 all His children and He will provide for us too. ^That_*'1s why I
1430K32 don*'4t worry." $^*Roopali said, "^But it*'1s unwise not to_ worry
1440K32 about the future. ^It is careless not to_ plan for it." $^A crow cawed
1450K32 outside and Khizir Muhammad said, "^That_ crow and other birds like
1460K32 it eat maunds of food. ^But do they sow or harvest or store grain?
1470K32 ^They don*'4t but God provides for them because He created them.
1480K32 ^*I am sure He will provide for me, too. ^*I have faith." $"^If all of
1490K32 us thought as you do where would we be?" ^*Roopali asked, smiling tolerantly.
1500K32 "^But I can see that you are something of a philosopher." $"^*I
1510K32 don*'4t know what that_ means, but I enjoy life. ^*I have enough
1520K32 to_ eat, a house to_ live in and clothes to_ wear. ^In my younger days
1530K32 I visited Delhi, Bombay and Calcutta. ^*I soon wished to_ leave
1540K32 the hot, noisy and crowded streets and return to the cool, beautiful
1550K32 valleys and mountains of my home. ^There is something about Kashmir
1560K32 which makes people spend thousands of rupees for a short visit here, but
1570K32 I have my home here. ^Am I not lucky, *4memsahib?" $^*Roopali laughed
1580K32 and \0Mrs Prasad, who came into the room just then, said, "^It
1590K32 doesn*'4t do to_ get too friendly with this class of people." $*3^A
1600K32 FEW*0 days later Roopali*'s fiance, Dhiraj, arrived from Delhi.
1610K32 ^He was rich and \0Mrs Prasad thought him to_ be a very suitable
1620K32 match for her daughter. ^She was overjoyed to_ see him, but Roopali
1630K32 greeted him with restraint. ^She found him boring. ^But since everyone seemed
1640K32 to_ think him a very suitable husband for her, she had agreed to_
1650K32 marry him. $^*Dhiraj was a solidly built young man, fond of sports and
1660K32 outdoor life. ^He started organising outings and picnics and, one morning,
1670K32 Roopali found herself astride a pony, accompanying Dhiraj to
1680K32 Khilanmarg. ^*Khizir approved of young love and gave them their packed
1690K32 lunch with a benevolent smile. $^At Khilanmarg the sky was very
1700K32 blue and the nearby hills white with snow. ^In spite of the crowds of
1710K32 holidaymakers it was very peaceful and Roopali threw herself on the short,
1720K32 green grass and closed her eyes. ^A raucous voice said, "*4Sahib!
1730K32 *4Memsahib! ^We will take you sledging in the snow."*#
        **[no. of words = 02007**]

        **[txt. k33**]
0010K33 **<*3The Woollen Coat*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^He desperately
0020K33 needed a new coat for winter, but just to_ keep his family going
0030K33 a poor clerk like him had to_ scrape and scrounge.*0 **[leader comment
0040K33 end**] $^*I SEE many attractive suits hanging in Master Tailor
0050K33 Mirajuddin*'s showcases. ^They make me painfully conscious of my wornout
0060K33 wollen coat. ^Even if I am hard up for money, this winter I
0070K33 must have a new coat made for myself. ^If I avoided passing the tailor*'s
0080K33 shop or did not go to the recreation club I would remain blissfully
0090K33 oblivious of my threadbare coat. ^But when Sant Singh and Yazdani
0100K33 turn up at the club in smart worsted suits, I become worked up about
0110K33 the ragged condition of my coat and it hurts my ego. $^Just to_ keep
0120K33 the family going, a poor clerk like me has to_ scrape and scrounge
0130K33 and do without many necessities of life. ^To_ protect his family from
0140K33 freezing in the biting cold he must content himself by wearing woollen
0150K33 of a coarse variety. ^*I had bought this coat last year from a shop
0160K33 outside Delhi Gate, dealing in second-hand clothes. ^The dealer had
0170K33 bought coats by the bale from a certain Miranja, Miranja & \0Co
0180K33 of Karachi. ^The label, Miranja, Miranja & \0Co, stitched on the
0190K33 artificial silk lining below the inside pocket, gave away the game, but
0200K33 I consoled myself with the thought that I had bought the coat at
0210K33 a throwaway price. ^But as the saying goes: ^Buy high, cry once; buy
0220K33 cheap, cry for ever. ^My coat constantly threatened to_ fall apart.
0230K33 $*3^ONE*0 December evening the same year, on my way back from the recreation
0240K33 club, I decided to_ walk through Anarkali. ^After laying
0250K33 in the monthly stock of flour, *4dals, fuel-wood and paying the electricity
0260K33 bill and the insurance premium, I was left with a fifty *4rupee
0270K33 note. ^It sounded like a lot of money. ^If one has money in one*'s pocket,
0280K33 one should not mind "doing" the Anarkali. ^It makes one feel important,
0290K33 elated. $^As I passed through the *4bazar, I saw the shop-windows
0300K33 crammed with wollen suit-lengths and, of course, *4saris. ^Or maybe
0310K33 I had an eye for these things only. ^It was said that, during the past
0320K33 few years, tons of gold had gone out of the country and, with the
0330K33 consequent glut of foreign imported stuff, even the most inconsequential
0340K33 people had taken to wearing suits. ^They thought that this sort
0350K33 of sartorial embellishment did them proud. ^Little do we realise that
0360K33 to_ preen ourselves in costly suits and live in style is only a cover-up
0370K33 of our poverty. ^Those who are rich take themselves for granted
0380K33 and never need to_ flaunt their riches. $^In the drapers*' shops the
0390K33 counters were piled high with bolts of fine worsted. ^As I cast
0400K33 covetous looks at them I suddenly found my mind in a quandary: ^Would
0410K33 it behove me to_ spend money on a coat length of worsted and starve
0420K33 my wife and children? ^After a brief struggle, I set my mind against
0430K33 the unholy desire of going in for a new coat. ^Grimly fingering the
0440K33 buttons of my decayed woollen garment, I set off at a clipping pace,
0450K33 with every step increasing the distance between me and the shop.
0460K33 ^The brisk walk was a real warm-up. ^The dreary cold failed to_ goad
0470K33 me into giving my desire a tangible shape. ^For that_ matter, now even
0480K33 my old coat seemed a superfluity. $^As I walked I kept arguing with
0490K33 myself, trying to_ put my mind at ease. ^Didn*'4t I know that the
0500K33 rich did not believe in ostentation? ^Not to_ talk of a tattered
0510K33 coat, they wouldn*'4t mind going without a shirt. ^Well, by that_
0520K33 token, maybe I already belonged to the category of the rich! $^This
0530K33 exercise in self-introspection, however, only added to my confusion.
0540K33 ^Hastily dismissing all further thoughts on the subject, I managed to_
0550K33 reach home with the fifty *4rupee note still intact. $*3^MY*0 wife,
0560K33 Shami, was waiting for me. ^She was kneading the flour and at the
0570K33 same time blowing into the *4chulha to_ get the fire going. ^The wretch
0580K33 Mangal Singh had supplied damp firewood. ^The wood would not come
0590K33 to the point of bursting into flames. ^The harder Shami blew into
0600K33 the *4chulha the thicker the smoke became. $^*I cursed Mangal Singh.
0610K33 ^The cheat! ^For the sake of my wife*'s beautiful eyes, I was
0620K33 prepared to_ take up arms against the whole world, let alone Mangal
0630K33 Singh. $^After much fretting and fuming the woods at last crackled
0640K33 into flame and my wrath subsided. ^Resting her head against my shoulder
0650K33 Shami playfully patted my coat and found her delicate finger coming
0660K33 out through a hole. $"^The coat has outlived its life," she said.
0670K33 $"^Yes," I readily agreed with her. $"^*I think I must put in a few
0680K33 stitches," she said pointing towards the gaping hole. $"^It requires
0690K33 some darning too," I said, trying to_ be helpful. $"^But the lining
0700K33 is all gone," she said, turning over the coat. "^Moths have been at
0710K33 it. ^Artificial silk, you know!" $"^Forget about it." ^*I snatched
0720K33 it away from her. "^Instead of sitting before the sewing machine sit
0730K33 by my side, Shami. ^*I had a hard day at the office. ^Don*'4t you
0740K33 see how fagged I look? ^You*'3ll have all the time in the world for
0750K33 the machine when I*'3m asleep." $^Her engaging smile and my tattered
0760K33 coat! $^*Shami smiled. "^*I*'3ve had enough of it. ^The blessed thing
0770K33 is past mending. ^It*'1s worse torture than blowing into damp wood.
0780K33 ^Why don*'4t you go in for a new coat?" $^Lo, she had me thinking again.
0790K33 ^To_ throw away money on a piece of cloth-- it*'1s sheer indulgence,
0800K33 a sin. ^But Shami*'s eyes, those beautiful, smiling eyes. ^*I could
0810K33 fight Mangal Singh to_ save those eyes from pain. ^*I could defy
0820K33 the whole world for her, buy up all the cloth in the world. $^*I had
0830K33 just started thinking of a new coat when Pushpa Munni, my young daughter,
0840K33 came running into the house and started dancing on the verandah.
0850K33 ^Her antics were more bewitching than the movements of a *3kathakali*0
0860K33 dancer. $^Seeing me she stopped dancing. $"^Papa, so you*'3ve
0870K33 come! ^Tomorrow our teacher is going to_ teach us how to_ make a tablecloth.
0880K33 ^She has asked us to_ bring a piece of casement cloth. ^And
0890K33 also an inch-tape to_ measure the cloth with. ^Besides, I also require
0900K33 a piece of woollen cloth to_ learn cutting woollens." $^*Shami gave
0910K33 Pushpa a slap. "^The wretch is always ready with one demand or the
0920K33 other," she fumed. "^She has mucked up the whole thing just when I was
0930K33 trying to_ persuade you to_ get a new coat made." $^Poor Pushpa*'s
0940K33 tears and my new coat! $"^*Shami!" I raised my voice, which is against
0950K33 my grain. ^*Shami trembled. "^*Shami go and mend my coat!" I barked,
0960K33 my eyes blazing with anger. "^Yes, right now! ^*I don*'4t care whether
0970K33 you do it willingly or with a whimper. ^You must take pains over
0980K33 it as you do with Mangal Singh*'s damp wood. ^Don*'4t you see Pushpa
0990K33 is crying? ^*Popi darling, come here. ^Come here, my pet. ^What
1000K33 was it that_ you wanted? ^Tell me, my child. ^Casement cloth, wasn*'4t
1010K33 it? ^And an inch-tape to_ measure cloth with. ^Where*'1s Bachchu?
1020K33 ^He must have fallen asleep, crying for a tricycle and a balloon. ^What
1030K33 good is a coat to me if that_ deprives him of a mere balloon? ^*Shami,
1040K33 whre*'1s Bachchu?" $"^He*'1s sleeping," Shami said, overawed.
1050K33 $"^If you*'3re ruthless with the children just because of my coat,
1060K33 then don*'4t expect me to_ love you because of your beautiful eyes."
1070K33 $^Then I asked myself, why all this play-acting? ^Was I behaving
1080K33 in this manner for the sake of the coat? ^On whose side lay the truth,
1090K33 anyway? ^Hers or mine? ^Or was it both? ^But one who*'1s in the right
1100K33 has an edge over the other. ^*I felt subdued. $"^The other day you
1110K33 said something about a pair of light green enamelled earrings, didn*'4t
1120K33 you?" I asked. $"^Yes, I did, but... " $^*I imperiously brushed
1130K33 aside her unvoiced objection. ^The fifty *4rupee note in my coat pocket
1140K33 was to me like a vast treasure. $*3^THE*0 next day I found that
1150K33 Shami had mended my coat at the elbows. ^But in spite of her skilful
1160K33 darning ugly wrinkles had appeared at the places where the cloth had
1170K33 completely given way. $^And that_ reminded me of Mirajuddin, the Master
1180K33 Tailor. ^*I have a lively imagination and that_ is my undoing;
1190K33 it often lands me in serious trouble. ^To_ buy or not to_ buy a coat:
1200K33 I was undecided. ^At Mirajuddin*'s there were suits, exclusive
1210K33 and elegant, which cost as much as five hundred *4rupees, inclusive of
1220K33 stitching charges. ^But I was an ordinary clerk and it was futile on
1230K33 my part to_ pin hopes on such costly suits; they were beyond
1240KG3 my means. $^Finding me free from work, Shami came and sat by my side
1250K33 and we began to_ make a list of things we could buy with the fifty
1260K33 *4rupee note. ^When father and mother get into a huddle, the children also
1270K33 flock round them. ^*Pushpa and Bachchu burst upon us like a tornado.
1280K33 $^Call it a quirk of imagination-- or was it that I wanted to_ humour
1290K33 Shami? ^*I began the list with a pair of light green enamelled
1300K33 earrings. ^*I looked towards the kitchen. ^The firewood was blazing away
1310K33 merrily and Shami*'s eyes were twinkling like stars. ^*I learnt
1320K33 that Mangal Singh had taken back the damp firewood. $"^He has sent
1330K33 us mulberry sticks and slivers of packing cases," Shami came out
1340K33 with the information. $"^And cowdung cakes?" $"^Yes, those too!" $"^*Mangal
1350K33 Singh is God incarnate, a saint," I said effusively. "^*I
1360K33 must buy a piece of worsted for my coat to_ keep your eyes shining. ^Not
1370K33 from this month*'s salary. ^Maybe next month." $"^Yes, when the
1380K33 winter is gone," Shami laughed. $^*Pushpa had a long list of things
1390K33 she wanted-- cotton cloth, inch-tape to_ measure cloth with, a yard length
1400K33 of green blazer cloth, \0DMC thread balls, gold piping. ^And,
1410K33 of course, *5gulab jamuns*6 and *4imartis. ^*I suffered from chronic
1420K33 constipation and wanted to_ buy a tin of *3Trifla Zamani*0 from
1430K33 the *4hakim*'s shop-- a laxative to_ be taken with a cup of milk,
1440K33 the last thing at night. ^But Pushpa*'s formidable list edged out
1450K33 the laxative from the list. *5^Gulab jamuns*6, I said to myself,
1460K33 must have top priority. $^*I decided that I would hide the *5gulab
1470K33 jamuns*6 under the stairs where the milkman often kept his milk can.
1480K33 ^*I would tell Pushpa that I had forgotten to_ buy them. ^Oh, how
1490K33 she would miss them! ^It would be great fun to_ see her mouth watering
1500K33 at the thought of *5gulab jamuns*6 and then to_ produce them for
1510K33 her. $^And what about Bachchu? ^Since morning he had been pestering
1520K33 me for balloons and a tricycle. ^No, the tin of laxatives was out! $^*Shami
1530K33 was trying to_ appease Bachchu. "^*I*'3ll buy Bachchu a tricycle
1540K33 next month. ^My darling son will ride it the whole day. ^*Popi will
1550K33 get nothing. ^*Bachchu will ride while Popi will gape." $^*I swore
1560K33 by Shami*'s beautiful eyes that till I had put by some money for
1570K33 the tricycle I would not venture near Nila Gumbad. ^To_ pass through
1580K33 Nila Gumbad and have no money to_ buy the machine! ^What abject
1590K33 helplessness. ^*I may even start hating myself. ^Attired in white, Shami
1600K33 was standing before the oval Belgian mirror. ^*I went up and stood
1610K33 behind her. $"^*I know what you*'3re thinking," I said. $"^*I bet
1620K33 you don*'4t". $"^You*'3re thinking that if you visited the District
1630K33 Officer*'s wife in this white *4sari and light green enamelled
1640K33 earrings her eyes would pop out in surprise." $"^No, you*'3re miles
1650KL3 off the mark." ^*Shami laughed. "^You admire my eyes, don*'4t you? ^*I
1660K33 was wondering what makes you admire them so much. ^In fact, if you
1670K33 really loved my eyes you would have bought a wollen coat long ago." $^*I
1680K33 put my hand on her mouth.*#
        **[no. of words = 02009**]

        **[txt. k34**]
0010K34 **<*3The Silver Plate*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^Hungry
0020K34 and haggard, he gazed at the five *4rupees in his palm, aware that any
0030K34 protests to Gopal Das for cheating him of the plate*'s true value would
0040K34 only draw forth a string of abuses.*0 **[leader comment end**] $*3^*I
0050K34 AND*0 my younger brother, who is always a stupid fool and whimpers
0060K34 for every little thing, had hardly covered half the distance of five
0070K34 miles to the shop of the silversmith when he began to_ limp like
0080K34 a lame dog and cried that he wouldn*'4t walk any further. $"^Shut
0090K34 up, Nagu," I said, tweaking his ear till it reddened. "^We don*'4t
0100K34 have money for the bus. ^And don*'4t make a noise in the middle of
0110K34 the road." $^He paid no attention to me, but squatted on his haunches,
0120K34 dirtying the seat of his half-pants in the dust, crying and groaning.
0130K34 $^*I was furious at my brother, the stupid goose. ^Here he was, full
0140K34 eight years old, and two months more, to_ be exact, because I very
0150K34 well remember how, two months ago in June last, we had amused ourselves
0160K34 on his birthday when Mother had borrowed a little wheat-flour
0170K34 from Somaben, our neighbour at the sanatorium, and had made a pudding
0180K34 of it sweetened with jaggery; and now imagine this grown-up boy,
0190K34 full eight years and two months old, crying like a little baby in the
0200K34 street because he had to_ walk just five miles! ^Why, to_ think
0210K34 of it, at his age, I would walk six miles to the river bank to Karim
0220K34 Miya*'s fuel-depot because he charges less than others and return
0230K34 on foot with *(half-a-maund*) of charcoal or firewood on my head; I
0240K34 would even draw water from the deep well at the entrance to the sanatorium
0250K34 compound and carry several giant copper-potfuls to the house,
0260K34 unaided and all by myself. $^Of course, I don*'4t expect Nagu to_
0270K34 do much exacting labour, but he could at least trot along a distance
0280K34 of five miles in silence. ^But, possibly, he can*'4t even do this much;
0290K34 and I am sorry and hurt within me for the poor stupid fool, because
0300K34 I remember Mother often saying that he hasn*'4t got much strength
0310K34 or stamina because he was in her stomach when she first got the
0320K34 fever and cough that_ has now eaten her and wasted her healthy body
0330K34 and made her spit blood. ^And I have observed that Mother sighs
0340K34 and pities him and gives him extra helpings of sugar, milk or curd, whenever
0350K34 we come by these dainties. $^*I do not grudge poor Nagu Mother*'s
0360K34 attention; but only wish he were strong. ^And dainties and sweetmeat,
0370K34 I must tell you, are not to my taste; I am not delicate like Nagu
0380K34 and can keep strong on plain coarse rice with a little chilli powder
0390K34 and salt. ^*I often wonder if Nagu will, when he comes to my present
0400K34 age of fourteen, be half as brisk or hardworking or intelligent as
0410K34 I am. ^But to_ come to the point, what really made me angry at the moment
0420K34 was that he should be a hindrance to me on this errand and make
0430K34 me drag my steps at his slow pace for I am no snail and can cover a
0440K34 mile in ten minutes even on an empty stomach. ^And to_ think
0450K34 that he pestered Mother so to_ send him along with me! $^If, therefore,
0460K34 full of anger, I dragged Nagu by the collar of his shirt with
0470K34 my left hand and tugged him along with me, I shouldn*'4t be blamed.
0480K34 ^His shirt, an old one, gave a little rent at the back as I pulled
0490K34 him and I felt sorry for him and eased my hold. ^In my other hand
0500K34 I held the ochre bag Mother had made from the worn-out counterpane,
0510K34 in which I, for so many years, bought vegetables or rice whenever Father
0520K34 sent us money from Bombay. ^In the bag lay the cause of the errand
0530K34 I was now on-- the silver plate, wrapped in an old newspaper like
0540K34 an aged man in winter. $*3^THE*0 plate, my mother told me as she
0550K34 drew it out of the green trunk, was the one that_ my grandfather,
0560K34 her father, had given me as a present on my first birthday. ^For many
0570K34 years the plate had kept company with the bundle of letters Father
0580K34 had written from Bombay, the silken skull-cap which Mother bad embroidered
0590K34 for Nagu, a prayer-book which one of her uncles had given her
0600K34 and her bridal wear; and it was only this morning that it had seen
0610K34 the light of day after a long period of imprisonment. $"^*Muthu," Mother
0620K34 had said, handing me the plate, "sell it in the town. ^*I think there
0630K34 is a silversmith*'s shop right at the turning of the main road before
0640K34 you enter the vegetable market. ^It*'1s the only thing in this house
0650K34 for which we can get some money." $"^*I can find the shop," I said,
0660K34 recollecting its location very vaguely. $^We hadn*'4t eaten anything
0670K34 for the whole morning except for the meal of green-skinned tamarind
0680K34 I had brought down to the hot floor of the tar-road by aiming stones
0690K34 at them. ^The tamarind was very sour, but I have a liking for acid
0700K34 things, especially tamarind just before they begin to_ brown and ripen
0710K34 and form rusts. ^*Nagu and I ate quite a good lot, but Mother could
0720K34 chew very little because the sourness hurt her teeth as we didn*'4t
0730K34 have any salt to_ go with it. ^We had then filled our stomachs with
0740K34 the fresh, cool water from the well, smelling of earth and moss.
0750K34 $^Mother had given me a list of things to_ buy after getting money for
0760K34 the plate: a little rice, vegetables, salt and a garland of flowers
0770K34 for Narasimha, the fierce-faced family deity, whose printed picture
0780K34 in a glass-frame was installed in a niche of the kitchen wall. $^As I
0790K34 and Nagu left the house, I wondered how much I would get for the
0800K34 plate. ^It was of a circular shape, about eight inches in diameter,
0810K34 with thick sides about an inch in height, darkened a little by age and
0820K34 rather heavy in weight. $^As we approached the town, the sun had lifted
0830K34 its face from the bald heads of the hills beyond and was beginning
0840K34 to_ scorch our heads; and the road, cobbled here and tarred there,
0850K34 also began to_ burn the soles of our feet. $^We crossed the old bridge
0860K34 where the women sat selling curds and butter stored in black earthen
0870K34 pots and dishes and entered the lane where, on both sides, women with
0880K34 flowers in their hair stood at their windows and balconies, ogling
0881K34 and calling the
0890K34 men passing below. ^This was a short, narrow lane and soon we were out
0900K34 of it. $*3^*I HAD*0 been dragging and pulling and tugging my stupid
0910K34 fool of a brother all the while; but I couldn*'4t stand his whimpering
0920K34 any longer and an idea came to my mind when my eyes fell upon a couple
0930K34 of sweetmeat shops on the opposite side of the pavement. ^We had
0940K34 still about a mile to_ go, but with Nagu squealing at my side I felt
0950K34 I could get to the silversmith*'s only by sundown. $^*I crossed the
0960K34 street pulling my brother by the arm and stopped at one of the sweatmeat
0970K34 stalls where the sweets lay arranged in gay-coloured tiers upon tiers.
0980K34 ^*I pointed to a yellow mountain of *4pedhas. "^How much?" I
0990K34 asked, putting on as grave and serious a face as possible. $"^How much
1000K34 do you want?" asked the shopkeeper in reply. $"^If it*'1s good Mother
1010K34 has asked me to_ buy a whole *4seer," I said. $"^Good!" exclaimed
1020K34 the shopkeeper, twirling his mustachios, "it is the best in town."
1030K34 ^He gave me a sampling of one of those circular, flat yellow pieces
1040K34 to_ taste. $^*I bit a little of the *4pedha so that the remainder appeared
1050K34 in my palm like the moon a few days before becoming full. "^Cha!"
1060K34 I cried, spitting out what I had eaten, "^Stale and sour! ^If I
1070K34 take such sweetmeat home, my mother will give me a good beating." $"^Come
1080K34 on," I said to Nagu, who was whimpering for the sweets, dragging
1090K34 him along to the adjoining shop. ^And here also I managed to_ get
1100K34 a free sample to_ taste, but, as you will understand, I made a grimace
1110K34 of being disgusted with the *4pedha which I spat out and declared
1120K34 to_ be fit for giving people a painful purge. ^The shopkeeper drove
1130K34 us away in anger, and with my clutch on Nagu*'s arm we disappeared
1140K34 into the turning of the street by the betel-leaf seller. $^*I stopped
1150K34 at the corner. "^Now, don*'4t weep, idiot," I said to Nagu and gave
1160K34 him the two pieces of *4pedhas which were a little moist from the
1170K34 sweat of my closed palm. ^*Nagu, very pleased, swallowed them in
1180K34 a minute. ^*I took a good look at his weak face and his swollen eyes
1190K34 and I felt sorry that I couldn*'4t control my temper and said, "Nagu
1200K34 when we get money for the plate, I*'3ll buy you something to
1210K34 eat and you*'3ll have a cup of tea." ^With this promise in mind, Nagu
1220K34 now followed me silently. $*3^WE*0 were almost at the silversmith*'s;
1230K34 and I saw a great street tap where women were busy filling water
1240K34 in their shiny copper pots. ^At the tap Nagu and I drank as much
1250K34 water as an elephant would and thought that our stomachs would burst.
1260K34 ^When Nagu had finished his drink, his face began to_ wear an idiotic
1270K34 and strained expression from which I knew that he wanted to_ urinate.
1280K34 ^*I pointed to him a recess off the lane, and said, "^There, against
1290K34 the wall and don*'4t soil your pants." ^Like a little dog, Nagu
1300K34 ran, almost on one leg towards the brick wall on which were written huge
1310K34 signs in black and red telling everybody what gripe-water to_ give
1320K34 their babies and what cough pills to_ give thair grandfathers. $^The
1330K34 silversmith eyed us very suspiciously, as I unpacked the plate
1340K34 from the bag. ^He bent towards me, almost put his mouth to my ear,
1350K34 and in a stealthy, muffled tone asked: "^Where have you two stolen this
1360K34 from?" $^My face was livid with anger. "^My mother has given this
1370K34 plate to_ be sold," I said, "because we have*'4t anything to_ eat."
1380K34 $"^If I find that it*'1s not stolen property, I can give you ten
1390K34 rupees; but let me first find out. ^Yesterday somebody stole a silver
1400K34 plate from a house in the town. ^The police were here and warned
1410K34 me to_ let them know if anybody came with a silver plate," he said
1420K34 and sent a servant to the police station which didn*'4t seem to_ be
1430K34 far away, because, in a few minutes a policeman arrived, and was
1440K34 questioning us. ^He forced Nagu and me to_ follow him to the police
1450K34 station saying that if we were really honest we shouldn*'4t be afraid
1460K34 to_ go there. $*3^AT*0 the police station, we were asked a hundred
1470K34 questions by a burly, mustachioed man sitting at a table in a very tiny
1480K34 room. ^Where did we live? ^What did we do for a living? ^Who were
1490K34 our parents? ^Why had we, and not somebody older, brought the plate
1500K34 to the silversmith? ^Why? ^What? ^Again, why, what? $^*I became sick
1510K34 of answering the endless interrogation and repeating that we came
1520K34 to_ sell the plate, the only thing of value in our house, because we
1530K34 were starving, but I don*'4t think the man was convinced. ^Poor Nagu,
1540K34 I observed, was dumb with fright, staring like a wild animal.
1550K34 ^The burly man summoned the policeman who had brought us from the silversmith*'s
1560K34 shop and whispered into his ear. ^The policeman saluted and
1570K34 quickly went out of the station. $^The burly man then ordered us out
1580K34 of his room and made us sit on a long wooden bench placed against
1590K34 the wall, telling us that we had to_ wait for some time more.*#
        **[no. of words = 02010**]

        **[txt. k35**]
0010K35 **<*3BONDAGE*0**> **[leader comment begin **] $*3^*Shiva was now a
0020K35 "free" man. ^The Collector had pronounced him so before a large audience.
0030K35 ^Free to_ do what he liked, go where he liked... only he had
0040K35 nowhere to_ go.*0 **[leader comment end**] $*3^IT*0 had been so for
0050K35 generations. ^The Patil family had been landowners without being
0060K35 cultivators. ^Except for the small orchard that_ surrounded the house,
0070K35 all its land had been farmed out among a dozen or so tenants. ^Neither
0080K35 landlord nor tenant had ever felt that there was anything particularly
0090K35 reprehensible about the arrangement. $^Then the Government
0100K35 had brought in the law to_ abolish tenancy farming. ^All land that_
0110K35 was cultivated by tenants was to_ be taken away from the landlords
0120K35 and given to the tenants. $^The new law had made Ramsa Patil a poor
0130K35 man. ^The money that_ he was to_ be paid for his land barely added
0140K35 up to a year*'s income from it and, in any case, it was to_ be paid
0150K35 at some future date which was not specified. ^In the ten years since
0160K35 he had lost his ancestral fields, Ramsa still had not received the
0170K35 money. $^*Ramsa did not himself believe that the tenancy law had improved
0180K35 the lot of the tenants. ^Their new landlord was the state, which
0190K35 meant its numerous officials were mainly townspeople who could not
0200K35 be expected to_ be as sympathetic towards the villagers as people like
0210K35 himself who always had to_ live among them. ^Besides, many of the officials
0220K35 were corrupt and looked upon the ignorant villagers as fair game
0230K35 for their malpractices. ^His own relations with his tenants and indeed
0240K35 with the other villagers had always been fairly amicable and many
0250K35 of them had continued to_ bring their troubles to him just as they
0260K35 used to_ before the new law had come into force. $^At the time of
0270K35 the border war with China, a dozen or so had gathered one evening
0280K35 in his frontyard. "^What*'3re we going to_ do at the meeting called
0290K35 for tomorrow?" one of them asked. $^*Ramsa Patil knew exactly what
0300K35 they had in mind, but chose to_ pretend he didn*'4t. "^They*'3re
0310K35 collecting a fund for the war," he said. "^We must all go-- pay whatever
0320K35 we can to the fund." $"^Fund for the Deputy *4saab*'s daughter*'s
0330K35 dowry?" someone questioned. $"^There was a titter of laughter. ^The Deputy
0340K35 Collector, a man called Godambi, was reputed to_ be the most corrupt
0350K35 official the district had ever seen. "^Half the money will disappear,"
0360K35 someone said. $"^Half! ^Huh! ^Not a pice will reach the fund." $^For
0370K35 a time they talked about instances of official graft before Ramsa Patil
0380K35 came out with the plan he had thought out. "^It*'1s a public meeting,"
0390K35 he explained. "^There*'3ll be many people present. ^If, in the presence
0400K35 of everyone, we ask for receipts for what we pay, then our money
0410K35 will not go into anyone*'s pocket." $^Some of them had been doubtful
0420K35 about the efficacy of the plan but had agreed to_ go along with
0430K35 it-- and that_ was what they had done at the meeting. ^*Ramsa had announced
0440K35 that he was going to_ contribute a hundred rupees to the fund and,
0450K35 when he was called to the platform to_ pay it, he had shocked the
0460K35 officials by demanding a receipt. ^After a little whispered consultation,
0470K35 one of the men on the dais had come out with the explanation that
0480K35 the receipt books had not been received from the printers. $"^We*'3ll
0490K35 accept temporary receipts," Ramsa had said within everyone*'s
0500K35 hearing. "^Or we*'3ll announce our contributions now and pay them
0510K35 when the receipt books become available." $^The stratagem had worked.
0520K35 ^Every *4rupee that_ was paid had been receipted for. ^But Godambi
0530K35 had never forgiven Ramsa Patil for what he often spoke of as a "slur"
0540K35 on his character. $*3^THREE*0 years later there had been another
0550K35 war; this time with Pakistan. ^But by that_ time Ramsa Patil had
0560K35 no money to_ give to any fund and had not even attended the fund-raising
0570K35 meeting. ^Later that_ same week, one of his former tenants, Ayappa,
0580K35 had come to him to_ ask for a loan. $"^But, Ayyu," Ramsa told
0590K35 him, "^I have no money. ^*I*'3m as poor as you are." $"^But there*'1s
0600K35 no one else I can ask for money from, Patil-baba. $"^That_
0610K35 too was true, but so was the fact that Patil-baba did not
0620K35 even have ten *4rupees in the house. ^*Ayappa needed four hundred. $"^They
0630K35 say they*'3ll do the operation free. ^The money is needed for going
0640K35 and coming-- and staying there, and for the medicines." $"^Yes, you*'3ll
0650K35 need all of four hundred," Ramsa agreed. "^Possibly more." $^*Ayappa
0660K35 had cancer of the tongue and spoke with a pronounced slur. ^He
0670K35 had been advised by the District Medical Officer to_ go to vellore
0680K35 for an operation. ^*Vellore was a whole day*'s journey by train.
0690K35 $^Everyone in the village knew that Ayappa was a good and hardworking
0700K35 farmer, but had been dogged by bad luck. ^Within a year of becoming
0710K35 the owner of the field which he and his forebears had tilled for the
0720K35 Patil family, his wife had been gored by a bullock. ^The wound had gone
0730K35 septic and she had suffered agonies for months before she had died.
0740K35 ^Afterwards, many people said how her life might have been saved
0750K35 if she had been removed to a good hospital in time. ^Now it was Ayappa
0760K35 who had been told by the \0DMO that he would die unless he went
0770K35 to the hospital at Vellore. $^*Ramsa Patil, nagged by the guilt
0780K35 of the healthy in the presence of the stricken, smiled encouragingly
0790K35 at Ayappa*'s seven-year-old son, Shiva, who squatted beside
0800K35 his father, adding the appeal of his staring black eyes to_ move the
0810K35 heart of the village godfather. "^And even if you did get the money
0820K35 from someone," Ramsa asked, "how could you go? ^Where will you leave
0830K35 the boy?" $"^With Bai," Ayappa answered without hesitation, and
0840K35 pointed to the inner door. "^From the time of my grandfather and before,
0850K35 you have always looked after us, Patil-baba. $^*Ramsa*'s
0860K35 wife was known as Bai as Ramsa was known as "Patil-baba".
0870K35 ^*Bai brought out two brass cups of water and two small
0880K35 lumps of jaggery and placed them before Ayappa and his son. ^*Ayappa surreptitiously
0890K35 passed on his jaggery to his son. $"^In this house,"
0900K35 Ramsa said with a forced laugh, "I can hardly feed my own two boys
0910K35 and Bai. ^You forget that now, after the new law, I*'3m just as poor
0920K35 as any of you, Ayyu." $"^No," Ayappa shook his head. "^You have this
0930K35 house, your cattle, the pots and pans in the house. ^To me you*'3re
0940K35 a rich man. ^*I have nothing." $"^But no money, Ayyu. ^If I
0950K35 had any, I*'1d never say no. ^You know that_." $^After that_ no one
0960K35 spoke. ^*Ayappa and his son sat for a while and left. ^*Ramsa came out
0970K35 with them and leaned over the low mud wall that_ separated his house
0980K35 from the field that_ was no longer his. ^He could see a longish stretch
0990K35 of the path before it disappeared into the trees. ^From the back,
1000K35 Ayappa and his son looked strangely like a photograph he had seen
1010K35 of Gandhi and a young girl, and because he knew that if he went on
1020K35 staring at them his eyes would begin to_ water, he turned and walked
1030K35 into the house. "^*Ayyu and I played as children in that_ field," he
1040K35 said to his wife. "^We used to_ catch crabs." $"^You played with
1050K35 all the people in the village as children," she reminded him. $"^But this
1060K35 one especially," he answered, slightly hurt by her indifference.
1070K35 ^As though in self-justification, he added, "I don*'4t know anything
1080K35 about why people make laws, taking from some and giving to others.
1090K35 ^But I can tell you this. ^If the lands had still been mine to_ sell,
1100K35 this would never have happened. ^*I*'1d have mortgaged or sold a
1110K35 field to_ raise the four hundred. ^It*'1s just that now-- now there*'1s
1120K35 nothing to_ sell." $"^What about these," his wife asked, thrusting
1130K35 out her wrists before him. ^Each had a thin gold bangle on it. ^Tears
1140K35 suddenly welled in Ramsa*'s eyes, and to_ hide his embarrassment
1150K35 he ran out of the house, yelling, "Ayyu! ^*Ayyu, come back. ^*Ayyu!"
1160K35 $*3^TWO*0 days later, Ayappa went to Vellore. ^During the next
1170K35 two weeks, two postcards came from Vellore, almost certainly written
1180K35 by a nurse because they were in English. ^*Ramsa had to_ take them
1190K35 to the village schoolmaster to_ be read. ^The first said that they
1200K35 were not going to_ operate but hold him for observation, and the second
1210K35 that they had decided to_ operate. ^After that there was no news and
1220K35 because even after two months there was still no news, they surmised
1230K35 that Ayappa had died. $^Before going, Ayappa had entrusted his field
1240K35 to a man from another village and thus had created what the law regarded
1250K35 as a "tenancy". ^The result was that, after he had cultivated
1260K35 the field for two seasons, the new tenant was able to_ persuade the village
1270K35 Revenue Assistant to_ put his name down in the records as the
1280K35 real tiller and hence the owner of the field. $^*Shiva, Ayappa*'s
1290K35 son, had nothing. ^He had become an inmate of Ramsa Patil*'s house.
1300K35 ^*Ramsa did not send him to school because he needed his help in the
1310K35 house, but then he had not been able to_ send his own younger son to
1320K35 school either. ^*Shiva lived as the two Patil boys did, ate the same
1330K35 food, slept on a blanket on the floor in the back verandah and took
1340K35 his turn at milking the buffaloes. $^IN 1969, the elder of Ramsa
1350K35 Patil*'s sons, the one who had gone to school, joined the army.
1360K35 ^Two years later, there was another war with Pakistan. ^In the fighting
1370K35 near Khemkaran, Ramsa*'s son was killed. $^The news had come
1380K35 in a telegram which, a week later, was followed by a cyclostyled communication
1390K35 in English signed by some official or the other. $^For three
1400K35 days after the telegram, Ramsa had not come out of his house even
1410K35 though every single man in the village had come and sat in the courtyard
1420K35 in front of it for the customary half-hour to_ show how sorry
1430K35 he was. ^From the fourth day onwards, he had gone about his chores
1440K35 as though nothing had happened, but for several weeks, he could be
1450K35 seen stopping in the middle of whatever he was doing, as though he
1460K35 heard someone calling out his name, and to_ stand gazing at the rise
1470K35 in the hill where the path snaked towards the railway station. $^But
1480K35 he had got over it quite soon. ^The buffaloes were his living and
1490K35 had to_ be milked and watered and bathed; their sheds swept, their troughs
1500K35 filled with fresh hay. ^And there was his house where a lamp was
1510K35 lit every night and a cooking fire burned, and there was his wife
1520K35 and his son Bahiru and the boy Shiva who now belonged to his family.
1530K35 ^It was enough, something to_ be thankful for in a world of shifting
1540K35 values. $*3^THAT_*0 was how it was till 1974. ^Eight years had
1550K35 passed since Ramsa Patil*'s wife had sold her gold bangles to_ be
1560K35 able to_ send an ex-tenant to_ be treated in a hospital. ^*Ramsa had
1570K35 not been able to_ buy back the bangles. ^During those eight years, the
1580K35 country had made vast strides towards true socialism. ^New laws had
1590K35 been passed, laws which were designed to_ protect the interests of
1600K35 the poor and the exploited, including a law about which Patil knew
1610K35 nothing. ^It was called the Bonded Labourers*' Freedom Act.
1620K35 $^*Deputy Collector Godambi had now become the Collector, and thus
1630K35 the head of the district. ^He was close to retirement and it was said
1640K35 that he had given up taking bribes because he was desperately trying
1650K35 to_ get an extension of his tenure. ^His reputation had been such
1660K35 that the Chief Minister had indicated that there was little hope
1670K35 of his request being granted. $^One day, as the Revenue Clerk from
1680K35 Ramsa Patil*'s village had come to the district town, the Collector
1690K35 casually asked him: "^*What about that_ mischief-maker of
1691K35 yours?*#
        **[no. of words = 02029**]

        **[txt. k36**]
0010K36 **<*3FREEDOM LOST*0**> $*3^BEHIND*0 the leafy trees, the
0020K36 sombre grey of the sky had started turning bright. ^The yellow walls
0030K36 of the houses across the road still lay steeped in darkness. ^The
0040K36 yellow leaves lying on the tarred surface of the road and the
0050K36 lines of sand which had criss-crossed into weird patterns owing to
0060K36 gusts of wind had started assuming a clearer shape. ^Insects had
0070K36 come out on the branches, looking for food. ^Somewhere a swallow twittered.
0080K36 $^*Nandu took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the
0090K36 fresh morning air. ^The hoof-beats of the carriage horse that_ had
0100K36 brought Nandu here died in the air elusive like a horrid dream.
0110K36 ^Pulling out the tarpaulin from under him, he smoothed out its edges.
0120K36 ^He felt fine. ^There was the firm earth under him, the
0130K36 vaulting sky above and a gentle breeze stirring against his cheeks.
0140K36 ^There was nothing to_ disturb the harmony of these blissful moments--
0150K36 no discordant note, no Khudabuksh, no Seth Sant Ram, no Jalaludin,
0160K36 no Chamru, the carriage driver, and no \0Dr. Chand Ram
0170K36 either. ^For a moment he seemed to_ be unaware of his own existence.
0180K36 $^The image that_ he still carried with him, embedded in some
0190K36 remote recesses of his mind, was that_ of the child Nand Kumar,
0200K36 whom his father had beaten, for he had asked for *4roti. ^His mother
0210K36 , sitting under the dim light of a kerosene lamp by the side of a
0220K36 cold hearth, had watched him being thrashed, while a cockroach
0230K36 slowly crawled across the mud-plastered wall of the hut towards a lizard.
0240K36 ^Then the child had lain down on the bare floor and kept turning
0250K36 in his mind the snatches of conversation between his father and
0260K36 mother. $"^Why didn*'4t you give Nandu *4roti?" $"^There was no
0270K36 flour in the house." $"^Why didn*'4t you tell me that the flour was
0280K36 finished?" $"^But I did. ^*I told you in the morning." $"^Trying
0290K36 to_ bandy words with me, eh?" $*3^FATHER*0 drew near mother
0300K36 with a menacing step. ^She was a strong, loose-limbed woman.
0310K36 ^Father was short and thin, with six toes on one of his feet. ^But
0320K36 mother was always scared of him. ^She watched him warily as he stood
0330K36 there drunk, tense with rage. $^He gave her two blows and fell back,
0340K36 muttering, "how dare you bandy words with me!" $^On the wall
0350K36 the cockroach had almost disappeared into the mouth of the lizard.
0360K36 ^Lying on the floor, Nand Kumar saw that mother had again sat down
0370K36 by the side of the hearth, hiding her face with her hands, while father
0380K36 stood at the door glaring at mother. ^Then he disappeared through
0390K36 the door. $^Lying on the bare floor, Nandu tried to_ sleep, but
0400K36 something kept gnawing at the pit of his stomach, driving sleep away.
0410K36 ^He was always afraid of his father and mother and tried to_ keep
0420K36 out of their sight. $*3^*NANDU*0 had a very hazy memory of what
0430K36 happened afterwards. ^The only thing he remembered was that he had
0440K36 found himself on a road, flanked by trees laden with red flaming flowers.
0450K36 ^Then his tiny foot had struck a stone, drawing a blob of red
0460K36 on his toe. ^It hurt. ^He had sat down on the road and putting
0470K36 his foot in his lap he had held his toe under his gaze and had felt
0480K36 like crying at the sight of blood. ^But he had left his mother behind
0490K36 in the hut. ^She was too far away to_ hear him crying. ^He
0500K36 wiped away his tears and resumed walking. $^He kept walking till the
0510K36 sun became too hot for him to_ bear. ^Where the road would lead
0520K36 him Nandu did not know. ^But he kept walking. ^The overnight
0530K36 hunger had become a torment. ^The shops along the road had started
0540K36 opening. ^They were taking out the merchandise and putting it out on
0550K36 display. $^Then he saw a man sitting on a cot, eating *4puris, and
0560K36 he stopped to_ watch him. ^He had a plate before him, filled with
0570K36 potato curry, and another leaf-plate heaped with *4puris. ^The
0580K36 smell wafted to him over the breeze. ^*Nandu did not have the courage
0590K36 to_ step forward. ^He just stood there, fascinated by watching the
0600K36 plate of *4puris. $^The man took a cursory look at Nandu. ^Then he
0610K36 suddenly stopped munching, surveyed Nandu from head to foot and smiled.
0620K36 $^The man*'s red moustache and big fierce eyes struck fear in Nandu*'s
0630K36 heart. ^He wanted to_ walk off but the sight of *4puris seemed to_
0640K36 have shackled his feet. ^If his mother had been there she would have
0650K36 dragged him away. ^But mother was not there. ^*Nandu stood there
0660K36 watching. $^The man with the red moustache raised his head and
0670K36 looked at Nandu. ^He tore off a piece of the *4puri and leisurely
0680K36 put it into his mouth. ^He again looked at Nandu. "^Hungry, eh?
0690K36 ^Want to_ have a bite?" $^*Nandu nodded his head. ^Within
0700K36 two minutes a leaf-plate was before Nandu. ^The plate contained two
0710K36 *4puris and potato curry. ^As to when he started eating, when the
0720K36 *4puris vanished and when he started licking his fingers-- Nandu
0730K36 remembered nothing. $^The man with the red moustache looked around
0740K36 and smiled at Nandu indulgently. ^*Nandu made to_ go. $"^Where
0750K36 are you off to?" $^*Nandu turned round and looked at the man.
0760K36 ^He was no longer afraid of him. "^*I don*'4t know," he said.
0770K36 $"^Where do you live?" $"^*I don*'4t know." $"^Where*'1s
0780K36 your mother? ^Your father?" $"^*I don*4't know." $^The man
0790K36 suddenly got to his feet. ^In one breath he gulped down the glass
0800K36 of buttermilk he had been holding in his hand. ^Handing back the glass
0810K36 to the shop-boy he advaced towards Nandu. *5^Bap re!*6 ^How
0820K36 hefty and powerful he looked. ^And he was no longer smiling.
0830K36 $^*Nandu never got a chace to_ think. ^He found his tiny palm tightly
0840K36 held in the man*'s gnarled, rough hand. $*3^AFTER*0 that_
0850K36 Nandu had only a vague memory of a hazy procession of disjoined pictures.
0860K36 ^The man*'s eyes, he remembered, were so fierce that they
0870K36 could have ripped him apart. ^*Nandu had felt terribly scared of him.
0880K36 ^But he had lacked the strength to_ release his tiny hand from his
0890K36 powerful grip. ^Then there was a hut and a woman who was not his mother.
0900K36 ^And a night, dark and unending. ^A carriage moving on an
0910K36 iron track with an engine in front of it, belching smoke. ^*Nandu
0920K36 lay huddled in a corner of the crowded carriage, the woman who was
0930K36 not his mother by his side. ^She had shifty eyes and a cunning smile.
0940K36 ^And then, after much travelling, eating and sleeping, a railway
0950K36 station, a town, a *4tonga, and a house (which was not his house).
0960K36 $^No, not a house, but a large hall, packed with small boys. ^Dark,
0970K36 dank and eerie, it seemed to_ have doors, but no windows and no
0980K36 corners. ^Only eyes turned upon him-- eyes watching him, peering
0990K36 at him, glaring at him. ^And hands and legs galore. ^And the whip.....
1000K36 its lacerating sharpness cutting through the shirt, over the skin,
1010K36 down to the bare bones. ^When the thick, nailed shoe mounted the
1020K36 thigh an agonized shriek swept over the mind like thick fog, and
1030K36 the teeth bit into the tongue, filling the mouth with blood. ^The
1040K36 thud of a heavy blow on the jaw flashed like lightning from one end of
1050K36 the brain to the other, making the eyes, ears and the nose a red
1060K36 blob of jelly. ^There was no escape from them. ^How calm and
1070K36 peaceful it was outside the hall. ^One could breathe there freely
1080K36 in spite of the sun, the sweat and the dust. ^One had only to_ walk
1090K36 behind a woman as if he were her son, asking passers-by for a *4paisa.
1100K36 "^*Babu, one *4paisa. "^*Babu, one *4paisa to_ buy food
1110K36 with." ^If his attention was distracted by the child astride the
1120K36 woman*'s hip and forgot to_ whine for a *4paisa, a resounding slap
1130K36 from the woman he was walking behind fell upon his cheek. "^A *4paisa!"
1140K36 he whined again. "^*Babu, a *4paisa!" $^It*'1s not Nandu*'s
1150K36 town. ^It*'1s some other unknown place. ^If an inmate of the
1160K36 hall makes a bid to_ escape he is given a severe beating. ^He has seen
1170K36 what happened to his companions when caught in the futile attempt.
1180K36 ^But where will Nandu go even if he escapes? ^He doesn*4't even
1190K36 know the name of his town and the location of his house. $*3^THIS
1200K36 *0 was many years before. ^How many years Nandu does not clearly
1210K36 remember. ^For that_ matter he does not even know his age. ^May be
1220K36 he is 20, or 25. ^He could even be 30. ^With the return of winter
1230K36 or summer he would realise that another year had gone by. ^The
1240K36 period between when he came here as a child and the present day was
1250K36 so long that, for an illiterate man like him, it was impossible to_
1260K36 keep track of. ^What really mattered to him were the few men who
1270K36 directly impinged upon his life. ^Every fibre of his body recognised
1280K36 them. ^He knew them so well that in their presence his tongue
1290K36 stuck to his palate, his mind stopped thinking and his limbs became
1300K36 dead like wood. ^If only he could shrink into a small creature
1310K36 and wriggle out through a crevice in the door. $^There was Khudabuksh,
1320K36 the man with the red moustache and fierce eyes, who had regaled
1330K36 Nandu with *4puris at the sweetmeat shop and then, holding his hand,
1340K36 had brought him to this God-forsaken place. ^He never missed an
1350K36 opportunity to_ cane any child who failed to_ beg his alloted quota
1360K36 of alms or was suspected of hiding money. ^They urinated out
1370K36 of fright on seeing the cane trembling in his hand. ^In that_
1380K36 dungeon-like hall, the smell of urine mixed with the smell of sweat
1390K36 produced such a stench that it became impossible to_ stay there even
1400K36 for a minute. ^The children wished that Khudabuksh would have a
1410K36 stroke of paralysis so that he could not lift the cane or put a morsel
1420K36 of food in his mouth. ^But their curses had no effect on him; rather,
1430K36 they seemed to_ do him good. ^He never fell ill, his limbs remained
1440K36 healthy and whole. ^He didn*4't even know what stomach-ache was.
1450K36 $*3^HOW*0 he wished that Kalu drowned in the big black cauldron
1460K36 in which he cooked *4dal for them. ^He would have loved to_ duck
1470K36 Kalu*'s head into the *4dal gruel till the grains of *4dal and
1480K36 the stone chips clogged his nostrils, suffocating him to death.
1490K36 ^The kind of *4dal that_ Kalu cooked was not found anywhere in the
1500K36 world. ^And those half-baked *4chapatis. ^Even criminals who
1510K36 were lodged in jail had a better deal. $^He had equal abhorrence
1520K36 for Jalaluddin, who always carried a *4lathi, and Chamru, the carriage
1530K36 driver, and wished that they would come to a sad end. ^How nice
1540K36 if their carriage fell into a ditch and their skulls split open
1550K36 under its wheels! ^Nobody had been able to_ keep count of the number
1560K36 of children Jalaluddin had beaten with his *4lathi, broken the
1570K36 bones of or forced into delivering packets of contraband at unknown
1580K36 addresses. ^When caught by the police, Jalaluddin shamelessly
1590K36 disowned them and they were left to_ fend for themselves, generally
1600K36 ending in jail. ^Every morning, as the dawn broke, Chamru drove
1610K36 the children and others to their respective places of begging. ^He
1620K36 was very harsh on them but kind to the horse. ^He showed his love
1630K36 for the horse by indulging with him in baby-talk-- the animal assisted
1640K36 him in his job. $^And of all persons, how could he ever forget \0Dr.
1650K36 Chand Ram? ^The doctor would have easily got a place at the head
1660K36 of a procession of the ignominious and the damned. ^His old and
1670K36 weather-beaten bag was crammed with surgical instruments with which he
1680K36 deformed healthy children. ^Every Saturday night he came with his
1690K36 bag and stationed himself in a small room, no bigger than a cubby-hole
1700K36 where he did his job.*#
        **[no. of words = 02013**]

        **[txt. k37**]
0010K37 **<*3CRUCIFY ME*0**> $"*3^*I SUPPOSE*0 you*'3re in college," he said.
0020K37 ^He supposed wrong. ^*I had left college a year ago and had been
0030K37 working since. ^His exaggerated British accent gave me quite a shock.
0040K37 ^But then he was a bit of a shock altogether, waist too narrow, shirt
0050K37 too pink and ruffled, hair too Afro. ^*I can tell you he
0060K37 looked a sight in a Delhi drawing room. ^Maybe he looked all right
0070K37 in London, though what a brown man would want to_ live in London
0080K37 for these days I wouldn*'4t know. $"^*I finished college last year,"
0090K37 I told him. $"^Oh reallah? **[sic**] ^*I should never have thought
0091K37 it."
0100K37 $^*I was about to_ make a getaway. ^Two minutes of him was an overdose.
0110K37 ^But Mummy was looking at me across the room with her jaw set, as
0120K37 she looked when the servants passed things wrong and she had to_ convey
0130K37 it to them without a word. ^*London-returned Satish would have to_
0140K37 be put up with for appearance sake a bit longer. $"^*I meant you
0150K37 look so frightfullah young," he said. $^Well, it wasn*'4t all that_
0160K37 distance from seventeen or whatever he thought I was to twenty.
0170K37 ^And he probably didn*'4t even know, having been in England so many
0180K37 years, that in *3this*0 country we finish college at nineteen.
0190K37 ^*I told him my age. $"^Oh reallah!" **[sic**] $^More of this and I
0191K37 leave, mother
0200K37 or no mother across the room. ^*God, how pointless these parties
0210K37 to_ be shown off were, the fourth this month. ^At this time of year
0220K37 there seemed to_ be a flood of eligibles Returned from wherever
0230K37 they had been-- England, Canada, America. ^*I had been shown to
0240K37 a doctor, an engineer and a bank apprentice so far, all of whom
0250K37 were going back to_ jobs in the United States, maybe to_ settle. ^And
0260K37 now this. ^My aunt Kamala, whose party this was, thought him a catch
0270K37 with an industrialist father, an Oxford degree, and
0280K37 Prospects. ^And what my aunt thought, my mother thought. $"^Are
0290K37 you back for good," I asked, "or are you planning to_ go back to England?"
0300K37 $^Not that I cared. $^He didn*'4t know. ^He*'d come back
0310K37 to_ look round reallah, **[sic**] to_ get the feel of things after
0311K37 years away
0320K37 at school and university abroad. ^And now he found he felt a simply
0330K37 tremendous kinship with the Left in this country. ^There were so many
0340K37 Lefts here, I wondered which. $"^Not the Communist Party,"
0350K37 he explained, "I mean the Government." $^And with the elections
0360K37 coming he*'d decided to_ stay on for a while and work for the Government
0370K37 campaign, and then decide finally what he wanted to_ do. $^*I
0380K37 had seen some electioneering. ^Aunt Kamala*'s husband belonged
0390K37 to the new breed of committed civil servant, very popular with his political
0400K37 bosses, and my aunt, furiously political-minded, had volunteered
0410K37 to_ help with the Government candidate*'s campaign in a constituency
0420K37 in Old Delhi. ^Where I*'d been it was all alleys and gutters
0430K37 and crammed buildings leaning across twisted lanes. ^But maybe
0440K37 England-returned Satish would electioneer beside the fountains
0450K37 and gardens of New Delhi. ^*I resisted asking him in what language.
0460K37 $^*Mummy was fidgety and discontented when we got home. ^She always
0470K37 was, after a party at Aunt Kamala*'s. $^She told Papa straightaway,
0480K37 "Kamala says if you write one more disgruntled article criticizing
0490K37 the Government, you*'3ll just have to_ retire like a nobody
0500K37 next year. ^No new job ahead, nothing. ^Look at the journalists who
0510K37 end up ambassadors." $"^*I don*'4t want to_ be an ambassador," said
0520K37 Papa reasonably, "I *3want*0 to_ retire. ^*I*'3ve been looking
0530K37 forward to_ retirement for years. ^*I want to_ write my book." $"^Oh,
0540K37 for heaven*'s sake. ^There are half a dozen wonderful possibilities,
0550K37 Kamala says, provided you don*'4t keep sticking your neck out, criticizing
0560K37 the Government." $"^Just think," continued Papa, playing deaf,
0570K37 "we have a house of our own now to_ move into when I retire. ^What
0580K37 could be more wonderful?" $"^We could get a big rent for it." $"^And
0590K37 live where ourselves?" he demanded. $"^You darling dimwit, Papa."
0600K37 ^*I bent over his chair to_ kiss his bald patch and put my cheek against
0610K37 it, cradling his face in my hands. "^You and Mummy would go abroad,
0620K37 of course, on a glorious dollar job that_ Aunt Kamala would
0630K37 arrange. ^Poor darling Papa." $"^Anyway, that_*'1s all beside the
0640K37 point," said Mummy restlessly, "First we have to_ see Munni settled.
0650K37 ^*Munni, how did you like Satish?" $^*I was looking for something
0660K37 tactful to_ say but I caught Papa*'s eye and we started to_ laugh
0670K37 hilariously. $*3^DON*'4T THINK *I*0 enjoy selling organza and
0680K37 brocade and gold-embroidered silks at prices per meter that_ a whole
0690K37 family could live on for a week. ^But the diplomats buy it, and the
0700K37 tourists. ^The boutique is very well known. ^*I wanted a job because
0710K37 it was hateful sitting at home doing nothing and this one fell into
0720K37 Mummy*'s approved category. ^So there I was next morning measuring
0730K37 the Italian ambassadress for a silk *4kaftan when Satish strolled
0740K37 in with a "hellaoh" **[sic**] and began a languid examination of
0741K37 the gifts
0750K37 counter. ^He looked even more amazing in the daytime. ^*Ramesh,
0760K37 the salesman who worked under me, couldn*'4t take his eyes off him.
0770K37 $"^*Ramesh," I said, louder the second time, "would you please fetch
0780K37 the order book?" $^*Ramesh came slowly to. ^But he was still dazed
0790K37 when he handed me the order book. $"^Is that_ how they look Over
0800K37 There?" he whispered. $"^How should I know? ^*I*'3ve never been."
0810K37 $"^But you move in Society," he insisted, "among the people who come and
0820K37 go." $^My protest stuck like a fishbone in my throat. ^Belonging
0830K37 to Society was one of the troubles with my life. $^*Satish waited for
0840K37 the customer to_ leave. ^He put down the miniature topaz-studded
0850K37 dagger he had been toying with and said, "^Your aunt told me I*'1d
0860K37 find you here. ^Charming little boutique. ^The fact is, I wonder
0870K37 if you*'1d care to_ join the group I*'3m going campaigning with
0880K37 this afternoon. ^Your aunt thought you might like it." $^With aunt
0890K37 playing destiny he must be a better catch than most. ^Maybe there*'1d
0900K37 be less dowry involved. ^Sometimes I wondered who was more cynical,
0910K37 Mummy or me. ^We both were-- she about money and getting somewhere,
0920K37 me about people. ^*I didn*'4t believe in a single person I knew.
0930K37 ^They were all alike, the successful ones I met, whether they were
0940K37 big businessmen or politicians. ^So alike, that I wondered why
0950K37 they were supposed to_ be enemies. ^Thick as thieves, they were. ^*Left
0960K37 or no Left. ^And all this mud-wash about socialism and the common
0970K37 man that_ the college crowd fell for was silliest of all when you
0980K37 could see for yourself what the politicians were up to. ^It just went
0990K37 to_ show that young people were as gullible as old ones. ^Everything
1000K37 was a mess and distilled twice over it still wouldn*'4t have
1010K37 made sense. "^A spiritual vacuum", Papa called it in his articles,
1020K37 a vacuum in which the wrong things got rewarded. ^That_*'1s why
1030K37 even if I had been old enough to_ vote I wouldn*'4t have known
1040K37 who for. ^And that_ was why there was no one I met whom I could
1050K37 remotely think of marrying. ^And nothing, absolutely nothing to_
1060K37 make me *3feel*0. ^There were days when I felt so paralysed I could
1070K37 have stuck pins into myself just to_ get a response, or begged my
1080K37 parents to_ nail me to the wall so I could *3feel*0. $^*Satish said
1090K37 warmly, "^D*'3you know your eyes are quite hazel in this light." $^To_
1100K37 prevent him travelling downward and noticing more, I quickly said
1110K37 I would take leave for the afternoon. $^At three o*'3clock I was
1120K37 in a jeep with Satish and two other men, grinding along to Old
1130K37 Delhi, Satish in the same kind of ruffled outfit. ^But it jarred
1140K37 me less. ^If you have ever known a post-winter afternoon in Delhi,
1150K37 you*'3ll understand why. ^No gaudy blossoming summer trees yet,
1160K37 and the heartbreaking beauty of winter all gone. ^This in-between
1170K37 magic depended only on the air. ^It was delicious as we drove,
1180K37 something *3clean*0 to_ identify with. ^*I forgot all about Satish
1190K37 until he spoke to one of the men. $"^By the way, what sort of constituency
1200K37 is this?" he asked. $"^Oh, crowded, urban, poor. ^Mostly small
1210K37 shop and stall keepers and vendors. ^But they*'3re very alert and
1220K37 political." $^Also, the man explained, this was a stronghold of a conservative
1230K37 Opposition party, implacable foe of Government. $"^You
1240K37 can*'4t reallah **[sic**] get anything done in a country like this as
1241K37 long as
1250K37 there*'1s an Opposition," observed Satish. $^*I forced myself to_
1260K37 keep quiet or I*'1d have said something rude, like telling him what
1270K37 I thought of Returned know-it-alls who saw India as shades of
1280K37 backwardness needing the heavy hand of Authority. $"^This election
1290K37 may do the trick," said the man, "wipe out the Opposition altogether.
1300K37 ^That_*'1s what we*'3re hoping. ^Then we can start getting things
1310K37 done." $"^Ideallah," **[sic**] commented Satish, "what*'1s
1311K37 required here
1320K37 is a period of dictatorship." $^That_ follow-the-fuehrer stuff turns
1330K37 my stomach and I had heard plenty of it at my aunt*'s commitment-and-cocktail
1340K37 parties. ^People without pity was what I thought of her
1350K37 guests, everyone of them a hard shiny showpiece, not the way ordinary
1360K37 people are. $^There must have been only three or four hundred collected
1370K37 for the meeting, nothing for a Delhi crowd, but they looked
1380K37 like more, mostly squatting jammed together on the bare ground,
1390K37 and the rest standing in tiers around the the squatters. ^No microphones
1400K37 were needed but there was one anyway to_ carry the meeting lanes
1410K37 and balconies away. $^The programme, as it turned out, was not
1420K37 going to_ be speeches at all. ^It was a short rehearsed skit in Hindi
1430K37 written by one of the men with us, a clever piece about the price
1440K37 rise and taxes and what the Government was going to_ do about them--
1450K37 and Satish had memorized his lines. ^His Hindi accent was as
1460K37 peculiar as his English one, but he could act, and the audience, expecting
1470K37 speeches, was happily surprised. ^*Satish got lots of laughs.
1480K37 ^It was quite a triumph for him. ^The three of them were so busy
1490K37 guessing how many votes they*'d cornered, and congratulating
1500K37 each other on the way home, they paid no attention to me. ^Then we were
1510K37 near my house and Satish asked if he could pick me up later for
1520KO7 dinner. ^The answer should have been I*'3ll have to_ ask my mother.
1530K37 ^But I knew very well how eager she was for me to_ like Satish.
1540K37 ^*I, on the other hand, didn*'4t want to_ have dinner with him.
1550K37 ^So I don*'4t know why I said yes. ^*I suppose I thought it
1560K37 would be better than a long evening at home, with Papa out of sight
1570K37 in his study and Mummy fussing. ^And what really decided me was
1580KT7 Satish saying he had something rather important to_ talk to me about.
1590K37 ^Let*'3s get it over with and him out of the picture, I thought.
1600K37 $^But when he came to_ pick me up, I couldn*'4t go. ^*I just couldn*'4t
1610K37 make myself. ^When I told him, we had a small tense scene
1620K37 that_ turned grim when Mummy butted in and apologized for my rudeness.
1630K37 ^*I burst into tears and ran out into the garden, and Satish drove
1640K37 away. $"^She*'1s becoming impossible," I heard Mummy says, **[sic**]
1650K37 "alienating every man she meets..." $^And patient Papa replying,
1660K37 "^Don*'4t force the pace, my dear, leave her alone..." $^*I fled
1670K37 further from their voices into the shadows behind the high hedge.
1680K37 ^He was standing there in our usual place. "^Hello," he said
1690K37 gently in the voice people trusted, and drew me to him, shielding me.
1700K37 ^He was wearing something rough and handspun. ^*I had never imagined
1710K37 his face clearly but I was sure it looked like many people-- faces
1720K37 I saw in crowds or passed in the street. ^He was somewhere very
1730K37 near if only I could meet him. ^And his hands could have felled a
1740K37 tree or comforted a cripple with equal grace. "you haven*'4t
1750K37 come for a long time," he said.*#
        **[no. of words = 02018**]

        **[txt. k38**]
0010K38 **<*3**<*3*2TIGER, TIGER*0**> $*3^IT WASN*'4T LATE,*0 but my wife
0020K38 and the children were already asleep. ^And even if it were late, I
0030K38 would still have gone out. ^*I had an urge to_ eat a *4paan.
0040K38 ^Of course there were *4paans and the makings at home, but at that_
0050K38 moment I wanted one from the shop. ^*I took care not to_ disturb
0060K38 the sleepers as I got my bike out and locked the door behind me
0070K38 as usual before I started. $^And then the night closed above my head.
0080K38 ^The dark I had vaguely sensed from inside the house became utterly
0090K38 real, I wore it right next to my skin. ^Just as well I was on
0100K38 the bike, my feet never touching the ground. ^Otherwise I might have
0110K38 got bogged down in the darkness flowing along the street, might
0120K38 have tossed on it helplessly. ^*I pushed at the pedals with a will
0130K38 as though some unknown terror stalked me on that_ all too familiar
0140K38 road. ^By now even this feeling had become all too familiar, but
0150K38 still the terror held me and made me push on faster and faster. ^But
0160K38 then I suddenly slowed down, thinking, who knows, that_ fear too
0170K38 may rush headlong after me. ^But nothing really happened so I
0180K38 was forced to_ go along as if indeed nothing much was happening. ^*I
0190K38 couldn*'4t even begin to_ understand why I was so afraid. ^All I
0200K38 understood and all I knew, was the dark, the thickly gathering darkness.
0210K38 ^Why was I afraid of the dark, I wondered. ^Then suddenly I
0220K38 thought I knew why I was afraid. ^*I had no shadow. ^*I had
0230K38 lost it. ^Nowhere was it to_ be seen. ^*I couldn*'4t bear to_ be
0240K38 without it. ^*I went faster and faster looking for it towards the edge
0250K38 of the city and the lights I could see there. ^And while concentrating
0260K38 on getting to my shadow I quite forgot that in the first place
0270K38 I had come out to_ eat a *4paan. ^For a long while my search for the
0280K38 lost shadow occupied my whole being. $^As I approached the outskirts
0290K38 of the city, the light from the *4paan shops crept nearer, reached
0300K38 my toes, lapped gently about me. ^My shadow slipped in behind me, so
0310K38 once again my urge for a *4paan stretched itself in my mind. ^Only
0320K38 three or four *4paan shops were open at that_ hour, and they too, quite
0330K38 deserted. ^*I stood before my usual man and he smiled, "^Here you
0340K38 are, then!" and started on my *4paan. ^He cut off the ends of the
0350K38 *4paans, sheared their veins and spread them with lime and *4kaath.
0360K38 ^There was an air about his gestures, a style, as though he were bestowing
0370K38 upon me a priceless rarity. ^Responding to it, I accepted the
0380K38 *4paan and slid it in my mouth with a flourish. ^After chewing and
0390K38 spitting out the juices I asked, "^And what did you put in that_,
0400K38 Radheshyam?" $"^But didn*'4t you like it?" $"^Some new tobacco?"
0410K38 $"^Something special for the late night customer who comes this
0420K38 far for my *4paan." $"^But what is it?" $"^How*'1s its taste?"
0430K38 $"^A bit rough, but nice." $"^Nice? ^It*'1s the best *4saab! ^Very
0440K38 special." $"^And what*'1s it called?" $"^Bed-breaker." $"^Hmm? ^Bed-breaker?
0450K38 ^That_*'1s a grand name!" $"^And a grand notion!" $^Soon I
0460K38 saw why he called it a grand notion. ^At first I felt a bit hot, sweated
0470K38 a bit, but then a strange ripple shimmered in my mind. ^It pleased
0480K38 me, soothed me, and-- suddenly I stopped short. ^My glance alighted
0490K38 and fixed itself on the edge of the road, some distance away. ^*I
0500K38 was a bit scared, but more startled. ^*I took it, at first, to_ be a
0510K38 large tabby. ^But that_ yellow colour, that_ black stripe. ^No. ^It was
0520K38 a tiger. ^No doubt. ^Instinctively I edged a little closer to Radheshyam.
0530K38 ^Asked him a little huskily, "^*Radhe what*'1s that_?" $"^That_?
0540K38 ^A tiger. ^Only a cub." $"^But still, a tiger." $"^'oh, he doesn*'4t
0550K38 do any harm." $"^Who does he belong to?" $"^Nobody. ^Tigers don*'4t
0560K38 belong to anybody. ^He just came along. ^He*'3ll sit here as long
0570K38 as it pleases him and then go on his way. ^Isn*'4t he splendid?"
0580K38 $"^Splendid, yes! ^But he is a tiger!" $"^That_ he is!" $"^You people
0590K38 aren*'4t afraid?" $"^Well of course we are! ^But what can one
0600K38 do? ^There*'1s the tiger, there*'1s the fear, and here*'1s me. ^Each
0610K38 in its place. ^You want another *4paan?" $^He started on it before
0620K38 I could say yes or no. $^*I was still staring at that_ yellow-black,
0630K38 powerful bundle, its coiled, suppressed motion and the fiery green
0640K38 eyes that_ advertised, shouted the still but fluid energy. ^*Radheshyam
0650K38 noticed my intent stare. ^He said, "^Go on *4saab! ^What*'1s
0660K38 there to_ stare at? ^It*'1s just a tiger. ^Like any other tig
0670K38 er. ^Just a small kitten, really. ^You want him? ^Take him!" $"^Oh!
0680K38 no, no!" $"^You really are scared, aren*'4t you! ^You take this
0690K38 *4paan now. ^Chew it right through. ^Then you wont be afraid of anything.
0700K38 ^You*'3ll see!" $^*I shoved the *4paan in my mouth and began
0710K38 quietly chewing it. $"^Well, you go on now. ^There*'1s no danger.
0720K38 ^No need to_ be afraid. ^He*'1s as scared of you as you are of
0730K38 him." $^As Radheshyam waxed eloquent I lapsed into silence. ^All desire
0740K38 to_ talk left me. ^Without a word I turned the bike homeward.
0750K38 ^There was now a real terror pushing me on, a terrror much vaster
0760K38 than the fear of the dark which had pursued me on the way out.
0770K38 ^This terror had swallowed up that_ one like a serious fever does a
0780K38 cold. ^Yes, exactly like a fever. ^Feverishly I pushed and pedalled
0790K38 at top speed. ^*I saw neither the night, nor the dark, nor anything
0800K38 else. ^Like the bicycle I too had become insensate. $^*I got
0810K38 home; unlocked the door, wheeled the bike in, and locked the door
0820K38 behind me. ^And only then did I realise this last *4paan of Radheshyam*'s
0830K38 had a special flavour. ^Relieved, at last I put the light
0840K38 on, began to_ enjoy it-- the light of my home. ^And suddenly stopped
0850K38 short. ^There, right next to me stood that_ compact little tiger. ^*I
0860K38 never even knew how he had slipped in. ^Not that it mattered now.
0870K38 ^There was the tiger. ^In my house, standing next to me. ^How was it
0880K38 I didn*'4t shout? ^Or did I? ^Who knows? ^*I turned towards
0890K38 the bedroom. ^Perhaps I thought first of saving my wife and children.
0800K38 ^*I say 'perhaps' because I had no real idea of what was happening,
0910K38 what I should do. ^*I was not thinking any more. ^*I was only acting.
0920K38 $^As I put my foot in the bedroom, the animal was there before
0930K38 me. ^*I couldn*'4t make out when and how he moved. ^*I was breathing
0940K38 fast. ^He stood there looking quietly at my children, my wife.
0950K38 ^Would he growl now, or straightaway jump? ^But he did neither. ^*I
0960K38 thought he stood and looked on them as one looks at a sleeping baby.
0970K38 ^Before I knew he had left the bedroom, returned to the other
0980K38 room. ^*I followed him. ^Then he began to_ growl in his throat. ^Growling,
0990K38 he edged away from me. ^*I realized that he had seen our cat and
1000K38 he was now angry. ^His whiskers stood on end, his hackles were raised,
1010K38 his eyes shone like fire and his growls deepened. ^It looked as
1020K38 though he would pounce on her any moment. ^She sat bunched up on a narrow
1030K38 beam. ^*I stared at both their stances with stone cold eyes. ^And
1040K38 just then the cat jumped and scuttled out through the skylight. ^He
1050K38 seemed confused, upset when she disappeared. ^*I quickly shut my
1060K38 eyes tight. $^When I opened them again, he was standing at the door
1070K38 facing out, lashing his tail. ^*I shivered. ^Each lash of his tail seemed
1080K38 to_ leave black and yellow welts in my back. ^How long was he going
1090K38 to_ stand there? ^How much longer could I bear this? ^Finally I
1100K38 gathered all my courage, or maybe I could stand the tension no
1110K38 longer, and I said, "^*I don*'4t mind your coming, but now you*'d
1120K38 better go. ^You didn*'4t do anything to annoy me. ^You even looked
1130K38 kindly upon my wife and children. ^*I don*'4t know why you don*'4t
1140KL8 like the cat, but whatever it is, it*'1s better that you go now."
1150K38 ^And I leaned across him and opened the door. $^He left. ^*I shut
1160K38 the door quickly, switched off the light and stood by the window,
1170K38 quite humbled. ^Relieved to_ be breathing in the fresh air from
1180K38 the window. ^The breeze soon blew away a suggestion of tiger-smell.
1190K38 ^Should I wake up the others and tell them? ^Oh! ^What*'1s the use?
1200K38 ^They slept on while the tiger stood right next to them. ^There
1210K38 was hardly any point in waking them up after he had left. ^In the
1220K38 morning again I thought of telling them but gave it up. ^There was
1230K38 no sense in telling them all this. ^No way of making them understand.
1240K38 ^They wouldn*'4t have believed me. ^Might have laughed at me.
1250K38 ^My experience would have got glossed over with irony. ^There was
1260K38 no proof at all. ^He had left no traces. ^His smell had blown away.
1270K38 ^Even that_ *4paan on my lips had faded. ^Even if I could show its
1280K38 red it wouldn*'4t have mattered, my lips were always *(paan-red*)
1290K38 anyway. ^There was no way I could tell that the colour of that_
1300K38 one *4paan was different from any other. ^The tiger was an experience
1310K38 utterly mine. ^Only mine. ^*I couldn*'4t share it with others. ^*I
1320K38 had not moved far enough from it. ^*I had to_ keep it to myself for
1330K38 a while yet. ^It must travel away from me before it could reach others.
1340K38 ^*I had to_ make it known to my near ones, but the tiger too had
1350K38 grown close to me now. ^*I needed time to_ see who was near and who
1360K38 far. ^*I did not want to_ pester those near me with my proximity. ^*I
1370K38 wanted just to_ be near. $^Then for a long time I did not go to
1380K38 Radheshyam*'s shop for a *4paan. ^And then one night again I got
1390K38 the yen to_ go to him. ^*I had to_ go there that_ night come what may.
1400K38 ^When I started out I thought, just as well I had said nothing
1410K38 to my wife about the last time. ^Then there would have been endless
1420K38 trouble about my going out again. ^Not that that_ would have stopped
1430K38 me. ^*I had profited by my policy of silence. ^Of course I hadn*'4t
1440K38 kept quiet thinking of that_, but it had all worked out to my
1450K38 advantage anyhow. ^*I got out when all the family were deep in sleep
1460K38 and this time I took along the flash-light, but as I got out and
1470K38 locked the door behind me I realized that it really wasn*'4t
1480K38 needed. ^The night was brightly mooonlit. ^*I could see the road clearly.
1490K38 ^*I went pretty fast: ^Though I could see clearly, I didn*'4t
1500K38 look for anything. ^*I didn*'4t even think of anything in particular.
1510K38 ^Soon enough I was at Radheshyam*'s shop. $^And I regretted
1520K38 it immediately. *^Radheshyam didn*'4t greet me. ^He was in no state
1530K38 to_. ^He was drunk. ^And all the other *4paanwallas were drunk
1540K38 too. ^They all smelt rankly of the liquor. ^Couldn*'4t be bothered
1550K38 about anything. ^Made up the *4paans somehow, anyhow, and shoved
1560K38 them in the customers*' hands. ^Garbled something obscene to the
1570K38 others, mumbled disjointed sentences. ^That_ senseless talk, those
1580K38 meaningless gestures, that_ rank smell-- I could hardly bear to_ stand
1590K38 before the shop. ^*I stared around while I waited for the *4paan.
1600K38 ^Searched the place where I had last seen the tiger. $*3^THERE WAS
1610K38 NO TIGER.*0 ^*I felt, maybe, there*'1s tiger-smell somewhere. ^But
1620K38 even if there were, it had got lost in the rotten liquor smell. ^*I
1630K38 certainly didn*'4t see the tiger. ^*I put the money in Radheshyam*'s
1640K38 hand. ^He managed somehow to_ take it and push the two *4paans
1650K38 at me.*#
        **[no. of words = 02011**]

        **[txt. k39**]
0010K39 **<*3MISFIT AMIDST A MIDDLE CLASS MUDDLE*0**>
0020K39 $*3^ME.*0 $^With a postgraduate grin on my lips for a greeting, nervous
0030K39 fingers casually concealed in the gaping pockets of my blue corduroy
0040K39 trousers. ^A Penguin classics edition of Gide*'s "^The Immoralist"
0050K39 dangles underarm whilst sweat streaks congeal at the corners of
0060K39 my mouth. ^Unread as yet. $^Behold the intellectual beyond compare,
0070K39 the poet extraodinaire. $^Me. ^The nobody in the system.
0080K39 $^Middle-class means self mockery. $^So we look at each other and say
0090K39 "Hi", mechanically making our wayward pilgrimage to college classroms
0100K39 and the cheerless open-windowed atmosphere of lectures. ^Till I
0110K39 wondered about her. ^Is she beautiful? $^*Shobha has the best
0120K39 things in life, riches and expensive, sober clothes. ^And she*'1s
0130K39 good to me. ^Her folks are broad-minded traditionalists-- the kind
0140K39 with ready gestures and sweet words always in their aristocratic mouths.
0150K39 ^But an unfailing apprehension of changing norms resides within
0160K39 them, lurking suspiciously behind the doorways of their eyes. ^By kind
0170K39 permission of fate, we are friends. $^You did your schooling at
0180K39 Lovedale, a public school, is it? $^Ah yes, my brother*'s little
0190K39 children are there too. ^Bright little kids. $^Oh, really?
0200K39 $*3^*I did*0 my studies on a scholarship. ^Do they know that_?
0210K39 ^*Shobha does. ^How much I have learnt.
0211K39 ^Oh yes, my worldly-wise erudition is perhaps what enables
0220K39 me to_ survive. ^Knowledge includes knowing how to_ eat with a knife
0230K39 and fork and forgetting the taste of food laid out on a plantain leaf.
0240K39 ^The spit and polish of formality. $^*I*'3m a progressive and
0250K39 rapidly-communist. ^Ah, but I*'3m well versed in Marx and Che. ^*Bader
0260K39 Meinhof ideology interests me too, although it would be insanity on
0270K39 my part to_ walk around proclaiming their strategies. ^A self-made,
0280K39 self-taught connoisseur of the subtleties of art, that_*'1s who I am.
0290K39 ^A secret poet who does not believe in publishing, except for his
0300K39 secret readers. ^Yeah, the public school savant, par excellence.
0310K39 $^No, I*'3m no human being. ^Human beings consist of those who
0320K39 are non-public school products and the middle class crowd. ^The rich are
0330K39 beyond humanity and the poor, why, they*'3re unclean and ignorant.
0340K39 ^Despicable. ^*I would classify them right beside household pets on the
0350K39 rungs of the ladder of social evolution. $^How about the thinkers
0360K39 among them? $^What are they but pirouetting pawns in the hands of deranged
0370K39 social revolutionaries who will not distinguish between the Bible
0380K39 and the Red Book if it turns out to their advantage. $^*Ha Ha
0390K39 Ha!!!! $^Interlude when everybody beams at one another, having
0400K39 exhausted a certain useless quantum of conversation. $^No Shoba, you
0410K39 can*'4t go out with him. $^What will people say? $^Oh daddy!
0420K39 $*3^SHE*0 sits beside her window, throwing biscuit crumbs through the
0430K39 bars at the flitting *4mynas outside, listening enraptured to the wind
0440K39 sighing through the skirts of the mango trees and her hair. ^She reads
0450K39 my poetry and dreams of a cage whilst asleep. ^Sometimes she repeats
0460K39 Gibran*'s heart-felt verses to herself and weeps over Tagore, afraid
0470K39 to_ accept. ^Art makes one seek purity, but few realise that stalking
0480K39 down her alleys does not mark the seeker or the quarry different enough
0490K39 for all others to_ notice. ^A sad irony. $^Dear Shoba, don*'4t
0500K39 forget. ^*I*'3m middle class and expendable like the fireworks
0510K39 at Christmas. $^*I play the guitar and harmonica too when I*'3m
0520K39 alone, which is most of the time. ^*I listen to rock music on the battered
0530K39 old record player at home. ^And the blues Jazz too. ^Some
0540K39 Ravi Shankar. ^*I wish I could set Plato*'s "phaedrus" to
0550K39 music. ^*I smoke dope. ^Which public school product doesn*'4t?
0560K39 ^It*'1s cool. ^Helps in the expansion of cognition, man,
0570K39 like puts you on a different frequency. ^Some evenings I come home
0580K39 smashed to_ leer obscenely at parents who are afraid to_ chastise the
0590K39 quick-tongued serpent they*'3ve spawned. ^Then I lie down on a
0600K39 spinning hard bed to_ fall asleep murmuring, "Middleclass shits," to
0610K39 myself. $^Dad, I need some bread to_ get a copy of Dante*'s
0620K39 "Divine Comedy". $^You don*'4t need some books now, son.
0630K39 ^Have you bought yourself those text books on economics? ^Humph!
0640K39 $^No sophistication. ^No class. ^That_*'1s the crux of the middle
0650K39 class problem. ^No aesthetic sense. ^No aspirations.
0660K39 ^Total resignation to mediocrity and, Jesus, how much satisfaction is
0670K39 gained out of it. ^Why can*'4t the old goat tell me he does not have
0680K39 the money or the whim to_ help me build up my own library? ^Contented
0690K39 hypocrite. $*3^SHOBA*0 dances. ^*Bharathanatyam.
0700K39 ^Oh she*'1s lovely in that_ classical sense. $^Teach me your Hindu
0710K39 values, Shoba, please. $^So I read the Gita. ^And the Panchatantra.
0720K39 ^Thence to the book of Tao. $^Oh Mum, I can*'4t
0730K39 go to church anymore. ^There is no God for me to_ believe in.
0740K39 $^*God is not concerned with the righteousness or sin of man, to_ quote
0750K39 Sri Krishna. ^*I*'3m God. ^*I*'3m the all. ^What can
0760K39 you learn from Christianity Shoba? ^They crucified the only Christian
0770K39 and fed me a lot of bull. ^How I hate the Church.
0780K39 $^Before falling asleep, I toss about beneath a starry sky and write
0790K39 a poem about falling in love. $^Like you I have learnt-- how to_
0800K39 hurt-- and not cry. $^*I have friends. ^A lot of them.
0810K39 ^Some of them look up to me, some of them look down upon me. ^Many
0820K39 of them swear Levis and rave about The Grateful Dead, *(0J.*) Krishnamoorthy
0830K39 and Carlos Casteneda. ^How bored I am with these vegetables.
0840K39 ^*I have two, perhaps three, very good, close friends.
0850K39 ^We talk sometimes. ^At other times, with them I learn to_ appreciate
0860K39 the worth of silence. ^What do I do in this stagnant desert
0870K39 but hum meaningless tunes to myself and be on the alert for faded, second
0880K39 hand pairs of Levis I might buy, so as to_ be able to_ fit into their
0890K39 grove. $^Hey Mum. ^*I*'3m off to a party! $^She*'3ll
0900K39 never understand. ^How can I expect her to_ when all she really cares
0910K39 about or understands in life is washing clothes, nagging my dad and cooking
0920K39 boring food and praying. ^She does not even think of attempting
0930K39 Chinese recipes. ^*I wish I had her patience and fortitude
0940K39 and still wage a war of independence and attrition. ^*Shoba, will you
0950K39 ever understand the darkness in my life, my abhorrence of the family
0960K39 crutch? $*3^HOME*0 ^What*'1s home? ^She has her silken
0970K39 cushioned sofas and foam mattresses to_ loll upon. ^How much softer
0980K39 are dreams couched upon feather pillows than those strewn haphazardly
0990K39 on hard wooden beds! ^*I wish I could carpet my floors, like hers are.
1000K39 ^*I wish my mono record player would suddenly become a stereo system.
1010K39 ^Oh, how I wish for the time when music will echo among the
1020K39 thousand books I want to_ adorn my lowly hiding place with. ^*I wish
1030K39 my brother didn*'4t share my room with me. $^Middle class means
1040K39 a longing to_ find comfort and solace in selfishness. $^Why are
1050K39 you on drugs? $^Because I can*'4t afford beer, stupid!
1060K39 $^Until I know, euphoria is no substitute for ennui. ^So I
1070K39 stop smoking and turn a clear head to deeper thoughts that_ lurk in the
1080K39 dark crevasses of the mind, chirping wanly for attention. $^Why
1090K39 don*'4t I commit suicide? $^A query addressed to her in a sly manner,
1100K39 perhaps maliciously. ^Oh, how non-committal and irritable these
1110K39 women are at important times! ^*Camus, on his part, would probably
1120K39 clap his hands in glee at my suicide. ^If only I could decide
1130K39 with finality upon it. ^But there I lack courage of conviction perhaps.
1140K39 $^No one consciously forgets to_ laugh. ^Still that_*'1s
1150K39 what I do when Shobha asks me in round-eyed, serious fashion....
1160K39 $^Am I mad? ^Are we mad? $^Then it*'1s time for me to_
1170K39 discover that sanity is what makes middle-class nobodies like me take
1180K39 to middle of the road attitudes running around like headless chickens aiming
1190K39 to_ reach somewhere. ^*God knows where, amidst the howling
1200K39 traffic of daily life. ^So exorcism of such thoughts from her pretty mind
1210K39 must consist of vague, mumbled, inconsistent words such as, "^Don*'4t
1220K39 be crazy, Shoba!" ^It*'1s not easy to_ drag my slovenly, cloven-footed
1230K39 carcass up the steps towards home to_ find Dad back from office
1240K39 work, tired and drawn, slumped in his chair and growing elder before
1250K39 me each lengthy minute. ^There are grey streaks of death in his sideburns
1260K39 and moustache, land marks of worry*'s age. $^Oh Daddy.
1270K39 $^But I can never tell him the secret pains of youth. ^Only the
1280K39 bile roars torrent-like into my throat, lunging outwards in an angry
1290K39 howl. $^You silly slaves, you simple, toiling, silent!!!
1300K39 $*3^SOMETIMES*0 when you lie on your bed and want to_ cry the tears
1310K39 do not flow and you know your heart*'s turning to stone. ^You don*'4t
1320K39 care anymore. ^So you stare into the mirror and play games with
1330K39 yourself. $^Dear self, promise to_ be a nihilist now and for
1340K39 ever more. ^Promise to_ roam those heights where none can touch you
1350K39 ever. $^*I promise. $^Yet when you alight from your reverie
1360K39 and look at somebody with love in your eyes, you wonder if you*'3ve been
1370K39 lying to yourself. $^So we stand together again *'3neath the rusty
1380K39 bus stop sign and talk of understanding, is it? ^Where an ocean
1390K39 separates us? ^We look at each other through the sieve of our doubts,
1400K39 tossed about on the mumblings of wagging tongues. $^Are we friends
1410K39 then, she asks. $^Do I smile or cry now? ^Should I turn
1420K39 away and run, rending myself with piercing cries desolation? ^*I
1430K39 shudder, shot to doll rags, caught in a cross-fire of warring minds.
1440K39 $^Yes. $^But what else can I say or do? ^Her eyes are
1450K39 screaming black holes in the sky in the corners of which tremble illusions
1460K39 dressed as stars. ^*I have my selfish freedom, and her friendship
1470K39 too. ^A sea of loneliness laced with the salt of helpless sadness
1480K39 to_ drown in, beyond the legend "middle class" stamped across my heart--
1490K39 the great status symbol of our times, the down-to-fetid earth,
1500K39 living God. $^Hellelujah! ^*I*'3m middle class and tutored
1510K39 in confusion*'s ambiguity-- the eternal oppressed faith. ^Efface me
1520K39 and mine!
1530K39 $**<*A CHILD*'S COMPOSITION**>
1540K39 $*3^GRADE*0 Ninth had a bright idea for Mother*'s Day.
1550K39 ^Instead of traditional Greeting Cards which they bought year after year
1560K39 for the occasion, the children hit upon the idea of preparing pretty
1570K39 little folders with a special feature thoughtfully composed and styled
1580K39 MY MOTHER: WHAT MAKES HER DIFFERENT. ^It was no doubt meant to_
1590K39 be a grateful assessment of Mother*'s worth and this opportunity of
1600K39 making Mother*'s Heart tingle with joy was excitedly seized by all the
1610K39 children. $^All except Sheen who sat in her corner disinterested
1620K39 and aloof. ^This seemed strange for as everyone knew Sheen had
1630K39 a facile pen and could compose readable little pieces for any occasion.
1640K39 ^Such indifference was no doubt puzzling and the Teacher hoped
1650K39 it would pass but when in fact it did not she couldn*'4t help telling
1660K39 the child how ungrateful she was and how unappreciative of a Mother*'s
1670K39 Worth. ^What effect the words had on Sheen it was hard to_ tell.
1680K39 ^She listened impassively as if she had turned to_ stone.
1690K39 $^The next morning Sheen*'s father approached the Teacher and told
1700K39 her that on seeing the light burning in Sheen*'s room long after midnight
1710K39 he had entered it to_ find the child fast asleep at her table.
1720K39 ^Beside her were a few sheets of paper on which she had poured out her
1730K39 heart. "^If you go through this," he told her handing her the papers,
1740K39 "You will perhaps find an explanation for her behaviour. ^But
1750K39 please remember," he continued, "she is a very sensitive child.
1760K39 ^Do not on any account make it known to her that I*'3ve given you this."
1770K39 $^WHEN Sheen*'s father had left, the Teacher opened the
1780K39 tear-stained pages and read what Sheen had written. "^How can I
1790K39 tell my Teacher that_ everyone has something wonderful to_ say about her
1800K39 Mother because Everyone*'s Mother is wonderful and good and loving?
1810K39 ^How can I make her understand that only I have nothing to_ say
1820K39 because my Mother is...... IS DEFFERENT. ^MY MOTHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC.*#
        **[no. of words = 02014**]

        **[txt. k40**]
0010K40 **<*3A Japanese pen**> $*3*^2that_ evening a farewell party was
0020K40 to_ be held in honour of Shastriji. ^*I had slept badly the previous
0030K40 night, seeing visions of Shastriji holding our class and dreaming
0040K40 of past events which took grotesque shapes. ^In the morning I got
0050K40 up earlier than usual and hurriedly got ready for the school. ^*I wore
0060K40 a *(dhobi-washed*) shirt and a new pair of shorts. ^Then I opened
0070K40 the box and examined the new fountain pen which I had importuned with
0080K40 father to_ buy for me. ^It was meant to_ be a present for Shastriji.
0090K40 ^A shining black pen, I kept looking at it intently. ^*I liked
0100K40 it. ^Taking a small piece of paper I wrote on it in beautiful letters:
0110K40 ^A humble present for Venerable Shastriji and put down my name
0120K40 and date under it. ^*I would have liked to_ expand my message into an
0130K40 epistle which would have given me greater scope to_ vent my feelings
0140K40 but then I realised that a solemn occasion such as this demanded brevity.
0150K40 $^On my way to school my mind was filled with thoughts of Shastriji.
0160K40 ^True, that when a boy failed to_ learn declensions he was in
0170K40 for a good thrashing at the hands of Shastriji. ^He would ask the
0180K40 erring boy to_ bend down on his knees, making a 'cock' out of him
0190K40 and asking another boy to_ perch himself on his back. ^Or, when a
0200K40 boy could not split a Sanskrit compound, he would graze a prickly
0210K40 stem of a nettle against his bare leg. ^But even then we liked Shastriji
0220K40 more than the other teachers. $^His *4pyjama was always crumpled
0230K40 and sometimes torn at the back. ^His body smelled and on one side
0240K40 the frame of his glasses was held with a string coiled round the
0250K40 ear. ^Before entering the class-room he drank a glass of milk from Shambhu*'s
0260K40 tuck shop and we could see the foam clinging to his thick
0270K40 moustache which sent us into titters. ^The students of the Science
0280K40 Stream mimicked his ways and never missed an opportunity of
0290K40 making fun of him. ^But in spite of his oddities we were greatly devoted
0300K40 to Shastriji and were always ready to_ join issues with the Science
0310K40 boys. $^That_ afternoon time hung heavy on me and playing truant
0320K40 I slipped out of the school after the sixth period and climbing
0330K40 the cliff at the back of the school I sat down under a tree. ^*I
0340K40 had been Shastriji*'s student from the fifth standard onwards. ^During
0350K40 the months of November and December, before the winter vacation
0360K40 started, he used to_ take the Sanskrit class on the roof
0370K40 of the school under the winter sun. ^After giving us some work he would
0380K40 recline in his chair, stretch out his legs and start dozing. ^Closing
0390K40 our exercise books we would sit there hearing him snoring and
0400K40 laughed. $*3^*I SAW*0 my class-mate, Anoop coming up. ^Finding me
0410K40 there he sat down by my side. $"^They should have declared today as
0420K40 a holiday," I said. $"^Why? ^Oh yes, I know. ^They are having a farewell
0430K40 function for Shastriji." $^*I felt angry at Anoop. ^How
0440K40 could he forget such an important event? ^Did Shastriji*'s going
0450K40 away mean nothing to him? ^To_ hide my anger I kept gazing at the
0460K40 building of the Longwood Hotel on the opposite cliff. ^*Anoop took
0470K40 out his mouth organ and started playing a film tune. $"^*I hear Shastriji
0480K40 will go away next month and settle down in his village near
0490K40 Almora," I said. ^*I was feeling piqued at Anoop*'s indifference.
0500K40 $"^Have you seen the new Shastriji?" Anoop asked. "^He wears
0510K40 coat and trousers." $^*I looked at Anoop startled. "^Have you seen
0520K40 him?" I asked. $"^Yes. ^Three days ago as I was passing along
0530K40 the corridor I saw him sitting in the Head-master*'s room. ^The
0540K40 peon told me that he was our new Sanskrit teacher. ^He did not look
0550K40 old. ^His hair is all black." $^*Anoop*'s talk made me angrier.
0560K40 ^There was no point in his talking about the new teacher; it sounded                    e
0570K40 so **[sic**] out of place. ^He should have talked about Shastriji
0580K40 who was leaving us for good. ^To_ add to my anger, Anoop lay down
0590K40 under the tree, resting his head on his elbows. $"^*Shastriji is
0600K40 altogether a different type of man," I said, holding a brief for
0610K40 my old teacher. "^His gray moustache looks beautiful when he sits
0620K40 in the sun." $"^And even more beautiful after drinking milk!" Anoop
0630K40 added with a mischievous glint in his eyes. $^*I felt like hitting
0640K40 him. ^How could he be so callous? $"^Aren*'4t you giving him a present?"
0650K40 I asked, anxious to_ score over him. "^A present?" Anoop looked
0660K40 at me, surprised. "^What for? ^Even if I had the money I wouldn*'4t
0670K40 give him one." $^*I took out the fountain pen from my satchel.
0680K40 $"^Here, have a look," I said. "^A fountain pen. ^It*'1s foreign.
0690K40 ^Father bought it for me from Rama & Sons, who have their shop
0700K40 on the Mall." $^*Anoop took the pen from me and examined it carefully.
0710K40 ^*I thought he was admiring the pen or even feeling jealous of
0720K40 me. ^*I felt truimphant and smiled to myself. $^He suddenly sat up
0730K40 and edging forward held the pen before me. "^It*'1s a Japanese pen!"
0740K40 he said. "^Look, it*'1s written here: '^Made in Japan'." ^He laughed
0750K40 out loud. $^*I was stunned. ^Snatching away the pen from Anoop,
0760K40 I turned it over in my hand. ^Yes, it was there all right. ^Written
0770K40 on the barrel of the pen. $^This time my wrath turned to father.
0780K40 ^He had cheated me. ^He shouldn*'4t have passed on a Japanese
0790K40 pen for an English one. ^*I regretted having shown the pen to
0800K40 Anoop. ^*I would have quietly presented it to Shastriji at the function
0810K40 and no one would have been the wiser for it. $"^What if it*'1s
0820K40 a Japanese pen?" I said working up a false bravado. "^It*'1s
0830K40 an expensive pen. ^It costs five rupees." $*3^*ANOOP*0 scowled at
0840K40 me. "^Bet, I can buy it for you for five *4annas from the Lower
0850K40 Bazaar. ^Now stop being smart or I*'3ll tell every boy you*'3re
0860K40 giving Shastriji junk." $^At last I extracted a promise from
0870K40 Anoop at the cost of a cinema show that he would keep silent over
0880K40 this affair. $^*I felt reassured but it still irked me that though
0890K40 it was Shastriji*'s last day in the school, the routine of the
0900K40 school had gone on as usual; the boys were studying playing and indulging
0910K40 in boyish pranks without any compunction. ^The Head-master should
0920K40 have at least declared a half-holiday. ^*Shastriji had taught in
0930K40 the school for thirty years. ^When he first joined it, the school was
0940K40 housed in a small, non-descript building in a *4khud below the
0950K40 Cart Road and had only about two dozen students on its rolls.
0960K40 ^At that_ time they used to_ have three classes at same time in one
0970K40 room. ^We found Shastriji*'s stories very diverting and they often
0980K40 made us laugh. $^The students started coming into the Hall
0990K40 at four. ^*I and Devdutt who was the best student of our class, sat
1000K40 down in the front row so that we could watch the proceeding without
1010K40 missing anything. ^They had placed two chairs behind a table at the
1020K40 end of the Hall. $"^It*'1s all the doing of our Head-master," Devdutt
1030K40 whispered in my ear. "^He has forced Shastriji to_ retire. ^*Shastrjij
1040K40 can still teach and is good for many more years." $"^But
1050K40 he*'1s nearing seventy," I said. $"^So what?" Devdutt said. "^*Dubey
1060K40 *4saheb is so young and yet he looks so lethargic." ^The noise
1070K40 in the Hall increased as more boys came in bustling and jostling
1080K40 one another. ^But Devdutt was not looking at the boys. ^Lost in thought,
1090K40 he was looking through the window at the mountain range beyond
1100K40 Sanjoli. $^Four days ago he had gone to Shastriji*'s house
1110K40 and seen his wife crying. ^They were worried about the education of
1120K40 their son, Dhannu, as there was no school in their village. $^The Durand
1130K40 Football Tournament would soon start at Annandale. ^The boys
1140K40 sitting around us were hotly debating the prospects of Mohan Bagan.
1150K40 ^*I turned and looked at the back of the Hall. ^*Anoop was sitting
1160K40 on one of the back benches in the midst of his friends. ^*I shuddered.
1170K40 ^For the last few days word had gone round that I was going
1180K40 to_ present a pen to Shastriji. $^Had he told his friends about
1190K40 the pen? ^*I could never trust him. $*3^SUDDENLY*0 a hush fell over
1200K40 the Hall as the Head-master strode into the Hall, followed
1210K40 by Shastriji. ^They took their seats behind the table. $^*Shastriji
1220K40 was in the same musty woollen coat that_ he had been wearing for the
1230K40 last five or six years. ^In summer he would keep its five top buttons
1240K40 open, exposing his shirt, making it the target of our jest. ^In
1250K40 winter he wore the coat fully buttoned up and wrapped a red muffler round
1260K40 his neck. ^*Shastriji*'s chin shone which he must have freshly
1270K40 shaved for the occasion. ^His gray moustache also looked tidy; it appeared
1280K40 he had trimmed it at the ends. $^The Head-master got up and
1290K40 spoke in an authoritative tone, saying that Shastriji had been
1300K40 with the school since its inception and this farewell would go down
1310K40 as a landmark in the history of the school. $^As the Head-master
1320K40 sat down Devdutt whispered in my ear that the Head-master should have
1330K40 spoken in Hindi. ^Poor Shastriji had not understood a word of
1340K40 what had been said. ^*I felt sorry for him. $^After the Head-master
1350K40 two more teachers spoke. ^The boys of the tenth class presented
1360K40 Shastriji a farewell address inscribed on a scroll, after which a
1370K40 boy recited a poem written by someone else in honour of Shastriji.
1380K40 ^The Head-master presented Shastriji a tea kettle and the teachers
1390K40 a woollen coat length. ^When my name was called, I went forward
1400K40 with a dead-pan expression, handed Shastriji the box containing
1410K40 the pen and hurried back to my seat to_ the sound of clapping. ^*I
1420K40 could*'4t even look into Shastriji*'s face while shaking hands
1430K40 with him. ^*I felt as if every one was laughing at my present. $^When
1440K40 Shastriji got up to_ speak my gaze first travelled to the box
1450K40 containing the pen which lay on the table in front of him. ^*Shastriji
1460K40 spoke in a voice thick with emotion and said that he had never calculated
1470K40 his age. ^In fact he had felt no need for it for he thought that
1480K40 he would keep teaching till he breathed his last. $^The farewell over,
1490K40 I and Devdutt walked part of the way together as our way home
1500K40 lay through Kalibari. ^The evening was descending over us and the
1510K40 office folk were returning home, carrying vegetables in shopping bags.
1520K40 ^For some distance we walked in silence. ^Then Devdutt said: "^If
1530K40 I had the money I would have also given Shastriji a present. ^Your
1540K40 pen will always remind him about you. ^But he has nothing to_ remember
1550K40 me by." $*3^*I LOOKED*0 intently at Devdutt. ^Did he know the
1560K40 secret of my pen? ^But his tone or gestures gave no indication of
1570K40 it. $"^*Shastriji will not forget you," I said. "^He will remember
1580K40 you as the boy who always stood first in his class." $"^But there*'1s
1590K40 always one boy or the other standing first every year," Devdutt
1600K40 countered. "^*Shastriji can*'4t remember every one of them, year after
1610K40 year." $^His argument silenced me but I felt all the more proud of the
1620K40 fact that I had given Shastriji a pen. $^A few days after, in the
1630K40 afternoon when I came out of my class at half-time I found Devdutt
1640K40 waiting for me. ^He walked upto me with great alacrity. $"^*Shastriji
1650K40 is leaving for his village by the 3 o*'3clock train. ^Care
1660K40 to_ come to the station to_ see him off?" he asked me. $^It was two-thirty
1670K40 when we reached the station and the train was already standing
1680K40 along the platform. ^As Devdutt and I ran along the train looking
1690K40 for Shastriji we saw him peeping out of a third class compartment.*#
        **[no. of words = 02020**]

        **[txt. k41**]
0010K41 **<*3The Exile*0**> $*3^*MAHENDRA*0 frowned and asked, "^Mother,
0020K41 was it necessary to_ go out in this rain?" $^*Rukmini stood guiltily,
0030K41 clutching her dripping umbrella. ^She muttered, "I had to_ go to
0040K41 Vimala*'s place." $"^But why, Mother? ^Why must you visit Vimla
0050K41 so often? ^Don*'4t you realise that her husband is a clerk in my office
0060K41 and that I have a position to_ maintain?" $"^*Vimla belongs to
0070K41 our village. ^*I knew her mother and father and her brothers and sisters
0080K41 too," Rukmini said, as if that_ explained everything. $^"we have
0090K41 gone into all that_ several times," Mahendra said impatiently.
0100K41 "^*I am a Class **=1 officer and it doesn*'4t look nice your being
0110K41 so friendly with the wife of a clerk of my office." $^*Rukmini said,
0120K41 "^She invited me for a special '*4pooja'. ^*I couldn*'4t refuse
0130K41 her invitation, could I?" $"^Mother, why can*'4t you make friends
0140K41 with the people of my class? ^The other day I took you to_ visit my
0150K41 colleague, Mehra*'s mother, but you sat silent the whole time. ^She
0160K41 tried to_ be friendly but not a word could she get out of you, in
0170K41 spite of her best efforts." $*3^*RUKMINI*0 remembered that_ visit
0180K41 which resembled other visits to the houses of her son*'s friends.
0190K41 ^Their wives were smart and well-dressed and they seemed to_ have
0200K41 mothers or mothers-in-law who were equally smart and well dressed.
0210K41 ^*Mehra*'s mother was a social worker. ^She talked knowledgeably about
0220K41 the population problem, the Family Planning Drive and other subjects
0230K41 of a like nature. ^The conversation flowed round Rukmini--
0240K41 the quick give and take of hard, brittle voices, while she sat silent
0250K41 and ill at ease. ^Suddenly, Mehra*'s mother turned to her and shot
0260K41 out, "^You must see the Kuchipudi dance at the Fine Arts Club.
0270K41 ^It*'1s wonderful! ^Really wonderful!" ^*Rukmini stared, wondering
0280K41 if she had heard right. ^What was the Kuchchi-*4puri dance?
0290K41 ^Could there be a dance about *4puris which had not been cooked?
0300K41 ^Before she could ask, a small, white furry dog rushed into the room
0310K41 and jumped on her lap. ^*Rukmini got up in consternation, while the
0320K41 younger \0Mrs. Mehra called out fondly, "^Come here, Puff! ^Come
0330K41 here, you naughty boy!" $^Her husband said to Rukmini, "^You are sitting
0340K41 on Puff*'s chair. ^That*'1s why he jumped on you." $^*Rukmini
0350K41 shuddered. ^She would have to_ bathe again when she returned home.
0360K41 ^She was relieved when the visit ended. ^*Rukmini never felt comfortable
0370K41 in the company of her son*'s friends and their families and,
0380K41 at last, she stopped visiting them. ^When Mahendra*'s friends or
0390K41 his wife, Gita*'s friends dropped in, Rukmini muttered an excuse
0400K41 and slipped out. $*3^*MAHENDRA*'S*0 flat, though well furninished and
0410K41 in a good locality, was small. ^It had two tiny bedrooms and a combined
0420K41 drawing and dining room. ^*Mahendra and Gita had one bedroom
0430K41 while Rukmini shared the other with her two grandsons. ^The sharing
0440K41 meant that she put her few clothes on the top shelf of the built-in
0450K41 cupboard and kept her Ramayana and two or three pictures of gods
0460K41 and goddesses on the narrow window sill. ^At nights, she slept on
0470K41 the 'divan' in the drawing room. $^*Rukmini could not get used to
0480K41 living in the town. ^She knew nobody and had nothing to_ do. ^She felt
0490K41 miserable cooped up in the tiny flat. ^She wished she could go back
0500K41 to her village home. ^By leaving it, she felt she had lost control
0510K41 of her life, of the way she wished to_ live. ^She missed her old home,
0520K41 with the tiny courtyard where the cow had been tied and where she
0530K41 used to_ hang out the washing to_ dry. ^*Rukmini had been fond of
0540K41 cooking, but now if she showed any desire to_ make anything Gita said,
0550K41 "^Oh, *4Ma-ji, let it be. ^It isn*'4t worth the trouble." $^*Gita
0560K41 did not wish to_ be bothered with cooking though she spent hours arranging
0570K41 and re-arranging the furniture and polishing it. ^She just managed
0580K41 to_ cook the breakfast and two meals a day with the help of the
0590K41 slipshod servant girl, she had. ^With that_, she thought, her duties
0600K41 as a housewife ended. ^If Rukmini tried to_ make any of the dishes
0610K41 which Mahendra had loved as a child, Gita said, "^Times have changed,
0620K41 *4Ma-ji. ^Ghee and sugar are so expensive. ^Besides, fried
0630K41 things aren*'4t good for the health." $*3^NOT*0 good for the health,
0640K41 indeed! ^*Rukmini thought. ^If that_ was so how had Mahendra grown
0650K41 up to_ be so tall and straight and handsome? ^But there was no
0660K41 point in arguing. ^*Mahendra agreed with his wife and uncomplainingly
0670K41 ate what she made. $^Living in the flat had other disadvantages
0680K41 for Rukmini. ^She was the mother of three daughters, all of whom were
0690K41 married and had several children. ^As long as Rukmini*'s husband
0700K41 had been alive and they were living in the village, the daughters
0710K41 visited them regularly. ^Now Rukmini hardly saw them. ^The tiny flat
0720K41 just did not have enough accommodation for them and their children
0730K41 and as they did not feel very welcome they stopped visiting their mother.
0740K41 $^A hunderd times in the day, Rukmini told herself that she
0750K41 should not have left her village home. ^There she had been busy and
0760K41 respected; she was an important person, the wife of the headmaster
0770K41 of the village school. ^Sometimes she spoke about it and Mahendra
0780K41 said, impatiently, "^Oh, Mother! ^How could you have lived on your
0790K41 own after father died?" $*3^IN*0 her heart, Rukmini knew that she
0800K41 could not have managed on her own. ^She was getting on in years and
0810K41 besides, she had very little money. ^Her husband had not earned much
0820K41 and what little he got had gone towards the marriages of their daughters
0830K41 and the expensive education they had given their only son, Mahendra.
0840K41 ^Their lives had been hard but they had comforted themselves
0850K41 with the thought that they would live well when Mahendra grew up
0860K41 and had a good job. ^But the reality had been otherwise. ^*Rukmini*'s
0870K41 husband had died soon after Mahendra got a job and she had been
0880K41 forced to_ leave her village home. ^*Mahendra earned well, much
0890K41 more than his father had ever done, but Rukmini found the circumstances
0900K41 of her life uncongenial. ^They lived on the second floor, in
0910K41 a small flat, and there was no place where Rukmini could have some privacy,
0920K41 except by going out. $^During the mornings Gita*'s friends
0930K41 dropped in-- smartly dressed young ladies who gave Rukmini sidelong
0940K41 glances and talked in whispers if Rukmini was in the house and
0950K41 whose high pitched giggles followed her down the stairs. ^In the afternoons
0960K41 her grandsons returned from school and their friends rushed
0970K41 in noisily, talking an incomprehensible language of their own. ^*Rukmini
0980K41 had been very close to them when they were small, but now they
0990K41 had grown away from her. ^She blamed it on the posh English school
1000K41 they attended, an institution quite unlike the village school
1010K41 of which their grandfather had been the headmaster. $^Since Rukmini
1020K41 was not in sympathy with her son*'s and his family*'s way of
1030K41 life, she spent much time away from the house. ^She would pick up her
1040K41 umbrella and go out, if Mahendra saw her leaving, he would say,
1050K41 "Mother, where are you off to?" $"^*I am going to the temple."
1060K41 $"^*I have yet to_ see a person as fond of visiting the temple as you
1070K41 are. ^Must you go out in this rain?" (^Or heat, or cold, or dark
1080K41 as the case was) $*3^THE*0 temple was a kilometre away. ^Here came
1090K41 the sort of people Rukmini had known all her life and in whose company
1100K41 she felt comfortable. ^Not that the well to_ do and the sophisticated
1110K41 did not visit the temple. ^They did but they were hard pressed
1120K41 for time and they offered '*4pooja' in a businesslike way
1130K41 and left briskly. ^But the others, the people of Rukmini*'s
1140K41 type did their '*4pooja' in a leisurely fashion. ^Afterwards, they
1150K41 sat on the platform in front of the temple, listening to the discourses
1160K41 of holy men, taking part in the '*4kirtans' and '*4bhajans'
1170K41 or just discussing the everyday problems of their lives. $^Here,
1180K41 during a festival when there was a large crowd, Rukmini met Vimla
1190K41 whom she had known as a little girl in the village. ^*Vimla invited
1200K41 Rukmini to her place and here the older woman felt instantly at home.
1210K41 ^*Vimla and her family lived untidily with all their belongings
1220K41 scattered about their two room house. ^But Rukmini liked it that_
1230K41 way; she found none of the emphasis on orderliness and tidiness which
1240K41 so intimidated her in her son*'s house. $^Two or three string cots
1250K41 lay in the courtyard and here Rukmini was invited to_ sit. ^The
1260K41 washing flapped about her and there was even a little cow and her
1270K41 calf tied in a corner. ^The neighbouring women dropped in to_ meet the
1280K41 visitor and the atmosphere was friendly and informal. ^They looked
1290K41 on Rukmini with respect and asked her for advice and guidance. ^It
1300K41 was just as it had been in the village. $"^My little son cried the
1310K41 whole night and I am thinking of taking him to the doctor," a woman
1320K41 would say. $"*3^LET*0 the doctor be," Rukmini advised. "^Boil
1330K41 a little '*4ajwain' in water, cool the water and give it to your
1340K41 child to_ sip. ^That_ will cure the stomach ache from which he is suffering."
1350K41 $^Everyone praised Rukmini for her advice. ^There was no talk
1360K41 here of sterilization and *4kuchchi-*4puri dances and Rukmini felt
1370K41 at home. ^Sometimes Vimla handed round hot cups of over-sweetened
1380K41 tea, but more often there was just '*4saunf' and betel nuts. $^What
1390K41 was the harm in visiting Vimla? ^*Rukmini wondered. ^But Mahendra
1400K41 said, "^Mother, you must give up this friendship with the wife
1410K41 of a clerk of my office." $"^Why? ^What*'1s the harm in meeting Vimla?"
1420K41 ^*Rukmini asked. "^Oh, Mother! ^You don*'4t understand these
1430K41 things but sooner or later they will take advantage of you." $"^Take
1440K41 advantage of me? ^In what way?" ^*Rukmini asked. $"^Her husband
1450K41 will request you to_ ask me to_ do something about the promotion, transfer
1460K41 or posting of people in whom he is interested." $"^*Vimla and
1470K41 her husband aren*'4t like that," Rukmini said indignantly. $"^People
1480K41 of their class always take advantage of one. ^*I know it," Mahendra
1490K41 said pompously. "^If you are in need of company I will take
1500K41 you to_ visit some friends. ^Today we are going to *(0D. P.*)
1510K41 Singh*'s house. ^If you like you can come with us and meet his mother.
1520K41 ^She*'1s a very nice lady. ^*I am sure you will like her."
1530K41 $*3^BUT*0 Rukmini said hastily, "^Thank you. ^But I would rather
1540K41 not come with you." $"^But why, Mother?" **[sic**] $"^Your
1550K41 friend*'s mother must be like Mehra*'s mother and all the other mothers
1560K41 I have met. ^*I am not interested in them." ^*Mahendra*'s lips
1570K41 tightened while Gita, who had heard the last part of the conversation,
1580K41 looked disapproving. ^*Mahendra said, "I try to_ be helpful
1590K41 but it seems you are determined to_ be difficult. ^You don*'4t seem
1600K41 to_ realise that I have a position to_ maintain." $^*Rukmini agitatedly
1610K41 knotted and unknotted the ends of her faded blue *4sari. ^She
1620K41 said, "^If you think there is some harm in visting Vimla, I shan*'4t
1630K41 go to her place. but I don*'4t want to_ meet any of your friends
1640K41 either. ^That_*'1s final." $^With that_, Rukmini stamped out
1650K41 of the house. ^She thought: ^It is back to trudging the streets, back
1660K41 to a boring and meaningless existence, back to being lonely and friendless,
1670K41 but I shan*'4t visit any of my son*'s friends. ^*I don*'4t
1680K41 like them and I have nothing in common with them. ^*Kuchchi-*4puri
1690K41 dances, indeed! $^The thought came to Rukmini that it would have
1700K41 been better if Mahendra had been a low paid employee living in the
1710K41 village rather than a Class **=1 officer living in a posh flat in the
1720K41 town. ^Then, perhaps, they could have lived as they had always done
1730K41 and she would not have felt like a fish out of water in her son*'s
1740K41 house. ^Then she dismissed the disloyal thought and told herself
1750K41 that her son was happy in his job and the position it had brought
1760K41 him and she had no business to_ wish otherwise.*#
        **[no. of words = 02032**]

        **[txt. k42**]
0010K42 **<*3MANY HOLLOWS*0**> $*3^MANY*0 hollows-- in Tamil Pallaankuzhi--
0020K42 is a game which mostly girls of the Tamil region play. ^It is made
0030K42 of wood and sometimes of brass or other metal and consists of two
0040K42 rows of shallow hollows seven to each row. ^The hollows are filled
0050K42 with usually twelve or less number of tamarind seeds or small *4cowries
0060K42 and played by transferring seeds or *4cowries from one hollow to
0070K42 another one at a time. ^It is an intricate and interesting game played
0080K42 with many variations. ^The players are usually two; (sometimes three
0090K42 and four players can play but never more than four.) $*3^THE*0
0100K42 *4harijan peasant took his stand near the bamboo thorn fence and called
0110K42 out "Saami!" $^In the kitchen, Dharmaambaal the lady of the house
0120K42 was straining the boiled rice of its gruel. ^She scalded her fingers
0130K42 and, shaking them, observed: "^No sooner does the master begin
0140K42 his *4puja with making an image of wet turmeric than the peasant comes
0150K42 and calls out. ^If master is not informed he would take an hour
0160K42 to_ finish his *4puja and Kutumban the peasant will cry out 'Saami,
0170K42 Saami' every ten minutes. ^*Devi, go and tell him that your father
0180K42 would come in an hour*'s time." $^*Devi was the last but two
0190K42 of her daughters. ^She was a charming girl of seven. ^By the time
0200K42 she gathered her skirts and leisurely stood up, Dharmaambaal remembered
0210K42 another thing and laughed aloud. "^It is surprising. ^No sooner
0220K42 does this *4Brahmin begin his *4puja than Kadavul
0230K42 appears in the street." ^The peasant*'s name was Kadavul (God)
0240K42 Kutumban. (^Literally of the family of God). $^*Sundara Sastrigal
0250K42 was a deeply religious man who lived for his daily *4puja. ^*Kadavul
0260K42 Kutumban was the peasant farmer by hereditary right who cultivated
0270K42 the few acres of land which Sastrigal had inherited from his
0280K42 forefathers on the banks of the River Vennaar which is about three
0290K42 miles to the north of the town of Thanjaavur. ^The peasant had come
0300K42 on some urgent business to_ talk to his master and was crying out,
0310K42 "Saami, Saami!" $^It was a Sunday. ^*Sundara Sastrigal did not
0320K42 have to_ attend office on that_ day. ^He had to_ hurry through his
0330K42 *4puja on weekdays and he found the haste unsatisfying. ^Seeing that
0340K42 he had no office that_ day he had started a little late and was intent
0350K42 on doing the *4puja without hurrying through with it. ^On other
0360K42 days he had to_ start for his office in Thanjaavur Junction as a goods
0370K42 clerk and begin work by nine in the morning. ^His house was in the
0380K42 South Alangam and he had to_ walk a mile to the Junction after
0390K42 his morning meal. $*3^HIS*0 devotion to the Railway gods was
0400K42 no less than his devotion to the religious gods of his heritage. ^Being
0410K42 devoted equally to both gods, he would get up very early in the
0420K42 morning before the sun was up, take his bath winter or summer in
0430K42 cold water, and sit for his *4puja by the time the sun was visible.
0440K42 ^His *4puja was an elaborate affair with many gods and goddesses
0450K42 in small and distinct idols in his *4puja room. ^Hardly any Swamiji
0460K42 passed through Thanjaavur without bestowing on him a new image of
0470K42 bronze or copper and a new item of *4puja, specified to its minutest
0480K42 details. ^He found a satisfaction in this *4puja-- as much as he
0490K42 did in his railway service for which he was paid thirty-seven-*4rupees
0500K42 and twelve *4annas-- his salary being forty but two *4rupees four
0510K42 *4annas being deducted monthly to_ be returned as a lump sum when
0520K42 he retired. $^He was goods clerk in Thanjaavur Junction which
0530K42 was a busy goods station. ^Other goods clerks in other railway stations
0540K42 made extra money by illegitimate means. ^*Sundara Sastrigal was
0550K42 not unintelligent man; he knew all the ways there were of making extra
0560K42 money; but being the pious man he was, he thought that money made
0570K42 by illegitimate means would not be helpful to him in times he needed
0580K42 help. ^He was content to_ be known as a man of integrity satisfied
0590K42 with his legitimate salary. ^His salary was small but his family was
0600K42 large. ^In addition to members of his family he took care of a couple
0610K42 of relatives also-- boys who were studying in High School. ^Evidently,
0620K42 as Sundara Sastrigal claimed, God did take care of him. $^If it
0630K42 had not been a Sunday he would have been on his way to the Railway
0640K42 Junction by now. ^It was very nearly nine in the morning and the
0650K42 sun was hot and high in the sky. $*3^THE*0 girl of seven, Devi whom
0660K42 her mother had bid go and tell Kutumban that master would appear
0670K42 an hour later, took the latest addition to the family, a girl of
0680K42 about eleven months, on her hips and set out to_ tell Kutumban the news.
0690K42 ^She had had never needed lifeless toys in all her childish days;
0700K42 she had enough living dolls to_ mind-- she needed no toys. ^*Kutumbban
0710K42 was beginning to_ call "Saami" for the twelfth time when she told
0720K42 him that her father would be coming an hour later. ^She said "^Kadavul,
0730K42 wait. ^*Father would finish his *4puja and come." $"^*I
0740K42 am in a hurry. ^Will it be some time before master comes?" $"^Father
0750K42 has begun with Vinayaka just now. ^He has to_ go through the
0760K42 others. ^It will take an hour, wait," said Devi. $"^*Vinayaka? ^What
0770K42 is Vinayaka?" $"^You dont know Vinayaka-- the potbellied god with
0780K42 an elephant trunk in front and riding a rodent. ^Even this baby knows
0790K42 him." laughed Devi surprised at Kadavul Kutumban*'s ignorance.
0800K42 $"^After Vinayaka....?" $"^There are a number of them. ^*Rama, Annapurani,
0810K42 Krishna, Balaji, Shiva, Hanuman. ^But next to Vinayaka
0820K42 comes Subramanya. ^*I don*'4t know the order after that_ myself
0830K42 nor do I know the names of all of them. ^To_ each one of them father
0840K42 would offer worship and rings the bell many times before he finishes."
0850K42 **[sic**] ^She added "*Mother asked you to_ wait. ^Sit down and
0851K42 don*'4t call
0860K42 out." $^*Kadavul Kutumban sat where he had stood in the hot sun.
0870K42 ^There was the shade of a tree a few feet away but he did not seek
0880K42 the shade. ^In a few minutes the sun being higher in the sky the
0890K42 shade seemed to_ have moved to_ shield him. ^He sat on the sandy earth
0900K42 near to the thorn fence and with his fingers he began to_ dig hollows
0910K42 before him in a row. $*3^*SUNDARA SASTRIGAL*0 did not know that
0920K42 Kadavul Kutumban was waiting for him. ^Even if he had known, he might
0930K42 not have hurried his *4pujas. ^As soon as he had sat down, he remembered
0940K42 that even though it was not his birthday, it was the day of
0950K42 his birth star and took a delight in pronouncing each item of the
0960K42 *4puja and conducting the service in as leisurely a manner as possible.
0970K42 ^He rang the bell each time he ended the *4puja of a particular
0980K42 god and by the time the final bell was rung it was nearly ten thirty.
0990K42 "^There is nothing like this sort of unhurried *4puja once in a
1000K42 while. ^It is satisfying. ^It is more satisfying than even a good mark
1010K42 in your service register" he said. $^He was accustomed to taking his
1020K42 daily food at eight, never later than eight ten, and he was hungry.
1030K42 $^*Dharmaambaal who had overheard him remarking on the satisfaction
1040K42 that the unhurried *4puja brought him replied: "^After all you can
1050K42 serve only for another four five years. ^After that_ you can conduct
1060K42 your daily *4puja in an unhurried manner." ^She knew he would
1070K42 be hungry and forgetting that the *4harijan peasant was waiting, she
1080K42 spread the plantain leaf and began giving him his food. $^Seating
1090K42 himself before the leaf, Sundara Sastrigal said: "^The Swamiji
1100K42 whom I visited last week says that offering *4puja to too many gods
1110K42 is no good. ^He asked me to_ cultivate one deity intensively. ^Though
1120K42 I find this more satisfying somehow." $^*Devi who was the favourite
1130K42 of her father came in and, leaving the child in the cradle, sat near
1140K42 her father and called for her food. ^She remembered Kadavul Kutumban
1150K42 waiting outside and said to her father "^Our Kadavul is waiting
1160K42 for a long time. ^He said, there was something urgent." $"^He came
1170K42 within a few minutes of your sitting for your *4puja" said Dharmaambaal.
1180K42 "^Let him wait another ten minutes. ^Don*'4t hurry your meal.
1190K42 ^Daily you have to_ hurry your meal. ^Another ten minutes won*'4t
1200K42 matter." $"^If you had told me before I sat for my meal I would
1210K42 have attended to him. ^Now in spite of myself I shall have to_ hurry.
1220K42 ^And he added "Kadavul is not like others of his kind. ^He would
1230K42 not have come unless it was something urgent." $^*Dharmaambaal was angry
1240K42 with herself for having forgotten about Kadavul. "^Eat and go
1250K42 and see him. ^He has waited two hours; let him wait for another ten
1260K42 minutes. ^Enough of Kadavul *4puranam. ^*I know him as well as you
1270K42 do." $^*Sundara Sastrigal was not accustomed to unhurried meals.
1280K42 ^And now he knew that Kadavul Kutumban had come a couple of hours
1290K42 ago saying it was an urgent matter. ^Anything might be the matter. ^He
1300K42 finished his meal with his usual haste and without waiting to_ chew
1310K42 the betel and *4supari that_ were ready for him after the meal
1320K42 and which he needed as much as his food, he went out of the house.
1330K42 $*3^*KADAVUL KUTUMBAN*0 sat where he was. ^The shade of the tree
1340K42 had moved beyond him and he was in the hot sun. ^He did not seem
1350K42 to_ mind the sun which shone straight down on him. ^His dark body was
1360K42 freely perspiring, giving to rivulets of sweat on his bare torso.
1370K42 ^The rays of the sun fell on the drops of sweat and broke into colours.
1380K42 $^*Sundara Sastrigal standing outside his house in front of
1390K42 his door looked at the *4harijan farmer of his, Kadavul Kutumban.
1400K42 ^He had not noticed him and squatted doing something. ^*Sundara Sastrigal
1410K42 noticed what he was doing. $^He was making hollows before him
1420K42 with his fingers digging deep in the earth before him at the foot of
1430K42 the *4bamboo thorn fence. ^It looked as if he was preparing many hollows
1440K42 for a game that_ girls play. $^*Sundara Sastrigal stood, watching
1450K42 him for a full minute. ^How peaceful and benign Kutumban*'s face
1460K42 was! ^He had a dignity which few persons of Sastrigal*'s acquaintance
1470K42 had. $^*Kadavul Kutumban noticed his master noticing him.
1480K42 ^Without any haste he threw aside the last fistful of earth from the
1490K42 hollow before him, rubbed his palms to_ get rid of the earth sticking
1500K42 to them and stood up patiently. $"^What is the matter Kadavul? ^What
1510K42 brings you here this morning? ^*I was busy and could not attend
1520K42 to you before" said Sastrigal realising, even as he uttered the words,
1530K42 the irony of it. ^He was asking Kadavul (God) why he had come
1540K42 while for the hour before had been seeking Him in *4puja in sonorous
1550K42 Sanskrit. $^*Kadavul Kutumban made a hopeless gesture; he scratched
1560K42 his unruly head of hair with one finger and said grinning "^Nothing
1570K42 particular but...." $"^But what....?" ^While he hesitated to_ reply
1580K42 Sundara Sastrigal asked facetiously, "^Were you playing many hollows
1590K42 with yourself?" $"^You mean the hollows?" ^*Kadavul asked and
1600K42 hesitated before answering the question. "^*I was thirsty and tried to_
1610K42 dig a well trying to_ see whether I could find some water." $"^What!"
1620K42 laughed Sundara Sastrigal. "^You were digging a well in the
1630K42 high place of South Alangam in Thanjaavur. ^Could you dig a well
1640K42 with your hands and discover water here?" $*3^FINDING*0 that he did
1650K42 not reply Sundara Sastrigal went on after a minute: "^Even if you
1660K42 dig a single well deep you may not find water here; but you were digging
1670K42 many hollows before you." $^*Kadavul Kutumban stood staring
1680K42 at him. ^He lowered his eyes to_ take in the many hollows he had dug
1690K42 with his fingers in two rows.*#
        **[no. of words = 02006**]

        **[txt. k43**]
0010K43 **<*3THE CHESS PLAYERS*0**> $*3^IT*0 was in the times of Wajid
0020K43 Ali Shah. ^*Lucknow was given to gaiety and conviviality. ^The young
0030K43 and the old the rich and the poor-- they were all steeped in the
0040K43 pleasure of the flesh. ^To_ make the best of the time, some organised
0050K43 *4nautch and music parties and others held sessions of opium-smoking.
0060K43 ^In every walk of life self-indulgence was the order of the day.
0070K43 ^Even social conduct, art and literature, business and industry were
0080K43 not immune from it. ^The government officials behaved like rakes, the
0090K43 poets sang of the pangs of love and the artisans and craftsmen could
0100K43 not think of anything better than making articles of luxury, such as
0110K43 *4chikan work, sequined cloth, perfumes, collyrium, powder and paints.
0120K43 $^In short, they were voluptuaries of the deepest hue, oblivious
0130K43 of what was going on in the world. ^They bet on quail and partridge
0140K43 fights, and killed the day by playing cards, chess and games of dice.
0150K43 ^From the prince down to the pauper, everyone was caught up in these
0160K43 vices, so much so that even a beggar spent his alms-money on opium
0170K43 or liquor. ^They argued with great conviction that chess sharpened
0180K43 the mind, improved the power of thinking which helped in solving
0190K43 the most intricate problems of life (such people are galore even today).
0200K43 $^In such a social milieu no one could take exception to Mirza
0210K43 Sajjad Ali and Mir Roshan Ali if they spent the bulk of their
0220K43 time on sharpening their wits by playing chess. ^Both of them had inherited
0230K43 huge landed properties and being affluent, they were not worried
0240K43 about earning a livelihood. ^Being men of leisure, they diverted
0250K43 their minds by playing chess. ^Every morning, after breakfast, they
0260K43 would take out the chess board and get the game going, playing it with
0270K43 such absorption that they even lost count of time. ^The morning merged
0280K43 into noon and the afternoon wore off into the evening but they
0290K43 were still at it. $^From the inner apartment a call would come repeatedly,
0300K43 announcing that the food was ready and every time the servant
0310K43 would be instructed to_ lay out the food. ^But when no one turned
0320K43 up, the cook, his patience having reached the breaking point, would
0330K43 bring the food into the room where the two friends sat playing. ^They
0340K43 ate while playing. ^There was no elderly member of the family, living
0350K43 with Mirza Sajjad Ali, so he had no compunction in holding chess-sessions
0360K43 in his outer room. ^Not that the other members of the
0370K43 family were happy with Mirza*'s conduct. ^For that_ matter, even the
0380K43 servants of the house and neighbours looked upon chess as something
0390K43 ominous, which they thought would spell ruin for the family. ^Many
0400K43 had succumbed to the game and Mirza, they said, would not meet
0410K43 a different fate. ^It was an obsession which made a person utterly useless.
0420K43 $*3^OF*0 all the persons *4Begum Mirza hated the game most
0430K43 and she missed no opportunity to_ rile her husband for being an addict
0440K43 to the game. ^To her chagrin, she did not get many opportunities
0450K43 to_ run him down for this besetting sin of his, for in the morning she
0460K43 was still asleep when Mirza took out the chess board and sat down
0470K43 to_ play with his friend. ^At night he set foot in the women*'s apartment
0480K43 long after the *4Begum had gone to sleep. ^It was the poor
0490K43 servants upon whom her wrath fell. "^Does Mirza want betel-nuts? ^Tell
0500K43 him to_ take the stuff himself." "^Has he not eaten? ^Fling the food
0510K43 at his face or throw it to the dogs!" $^In fact, she was not so angry
0520K43 with her husband as with Mir *4Saheb whom she had nick-named,
0530K43 'Mir Miscreant'. ^She was convinced that he had led her husband
0540K43 astray. $^One day the *4Begum had a headache. ^She asked her maidservant
0550K43 to_ go to Mirza *4Saheb and tell him to_ get some medicine
0560K43 from the *4hakim, the family physician. ^*Mirza *4Saheb seemed to_
0570K43 be in no hurry to_ attend to her and he dismissed the maid-servant
0580K43 with a perfunctory, "^Go in, I*'3m just coming." *4^*Begum *4Saheba
0590K43 was feeling distraught. ^She had a headache and here was her husband
0600K43 having a game of chess. ^She grew red in the face and asked the
0610K43 maid-servant to_ go and remind the master to_ come in or she would
0620K43 have to_ go to the *4hakim herself. ^It appeared the game had reached
0630K43 a crucial stage and Mirza was loathe to_ tear himself away from
0640K43 the chess board. ^Two more moves and he would have inflicted a crushing
0650K43 defeat on Mir *4Saheb. $"^Is she dying?" he said in a huff.
0660K43 "^Can*'4t she wait a moment longer?" $"^You go and look her up," Mir
0670K43 *4Saheb said. "^Women can be very touchy in such matters." $"^So
0680K43 you want me to_ go?" ^*Mirza said testily. "^It is because you are on
0690K43 the point of losing the game?" $"^Don*'4t take things for granted,"
0700K43 Mir *4Saheb said, "I*'3ve a move in the offing which will
0710K43 send your game crashing. ^Anyway, attend to her first. ^You mustn*'4t
0720K43 hurt her feelings." $"^*I*'3ll not budge from here till I*'3ve
0730K43 defeated you." $"^In that_ case I refuse to_ play. ^*I say, attend
0740K43 to her first." she wants me to_ go to the *4hakim. ^Her headache
0750K43 is just a ruse. ^She wants to_ harass me. ^As if I don*'4t know."
0760K43 $"^Whether it*'1s a ruse or a fact you must humour her." $"^All
0770K43 right, I*'3ll go. ^But let me make one more move before I go." $"^No,
0780K43 you won*'4t! ^Not till you have attended to the *4Begum. ^*I*'3ll
0790K43 sit tight over the game and not touch even a piece." $*3^PERFORCE,*0
0800K43 Mirza *4Saheb had to_ go in. *4^*Begum *4Saheba was looking
0810K43 very sullen. "^Is this wretched game so dear to you that you have
0820K43 no care whether one lives of dies," she groaned with pain. "^It would
0830K43 be good riddance if people of your ilk depart from this world."
0840K43 $"^*Mir *4Saheb wouldn*'4t leave me alone," Mirza *4Saheb said.
0850K43 "^*I had a tough time getting away from him." $"^Himself a drone, he
0860K43 thinks you also as one," the *4Begum said. "^Has he no children? ^Or
0870K43 has he made short work of them?" ^He*'1s a door-crasher, if there
0880K43 was ever one. ^Once he has forced himself in, he remains glued to
0890K43 his seat. ^He wheedles me into playing." $"^Why don*'4t you pack
0900K43 him off from the door?" "^Oh, no, I can*'4t do that_. ^He*'1s a
0910K43 gentleman and enjoys the same status as I-- he may be a rung or two
0920K43 higher on the social ladder. ^And older than me in age. ^*I*'3ve to_
0930K43 be nice to him." "^Well, if you*'3re not upto it, I*'3ll hound
0940K43 him out next time he calls. ^Let him rant and fume for all I care.
0950K43 ^He can*'4t do a thing to us. ^We*'3re not dependent on him, are
0960K43 we? ^*Hiriya, go and bring the chess board from that_ room. ^Tell Mir
0970K43 *4Saheb Mirza *4Saheb has called it a day. ^And that_*'1s that_.
0980K43 ^He may as well go away to his house." $"^No, no, no!" Mirza
0990K43 *4Saheb looked at his wife, alarmed. "^You*'3ll not do anything of
1000K43 the sort. ^Do you wish to_ see me disgraced? ^*Hiriya, I forbid you
1010K43 to_ go out." $"^You may stop the maid-servant but you can*'4t stop
1020K43 me. ^Let me see how you stop me? ^*I defy you to_ stop me!" $^In a
1030K43 huff, the *4Begum walked towards the outer room. ^*Mirza*'s face fell.
1040K43 "^By Hussain, by God, please don*'4t go!" he pleaded with his
1050K43 wife. "^You*'3ll see my coffin if you go in that_ direction." $^But
1060K43 the *4Begum paid no heed to Mirza. ^She went upto the door of te
1070K43 outer room and then stopped as if her feet had suddenly been shackled.
1080K43 ^She didn*'4t have the courage to_ appear before a stranger. ^She
1090K43 just peeped in. ^To her surprise, no one was there. ^In Mirza*'s
1100K43 absence, Mir *4Saheb had shifted two pieces from their actual position
1110K43 on the chess board. ^To hide his misdemeanour he was now pacing
1120K43 outside the room, looking very innocuous. $^Finding the land clear,
1130K43 the *4Begum upturned the chess board. ^She threw some pieces under
1140K43 the board and flung some of them outside the room. ^Then closing
1150K43 the door she bolted it from inside. ^*Mir *4Saheb, who had stopped
1160K43 near the door, saw the pieces flying through the door and then he
1170K43 heard the jingle of the *4Begum*'s bangles. ^He knew she was in a
1180K43 temper and thought it discretc to_ slink away from the place. $"^How
1190K43 outrageous of you!" Mirza moaned. $*4^BEGUM *4*SAHEBA steadily
1200K43 looked at Mirza*'s face. "^If Mir *4Saheb comes again I*'3ll
1210K43 have him thrown out," she fumed. "^If you had loved God half as much
1220K43 as you love that_ wretch and your game you would have been canonised
1230K43 as a saint by now. ^You play chess the whole day while I drudge for
1240K43 you to_ keep you in comfort. ^Now will you give up your cussedness
1250K43 and go to the *4hakim?" $^*Mirza, looking very sheepish came out
1260K43 of the house but instead of going to the hakim he went to Mir *4Saheb*'s
1270K43 house and explained him the whole situation. $"^When I saw
1280K43 those pieces flying out of the door I knew what was coming," Mir
1290K43 *4Saheb said. "so I took to_ my heels. ^She seems to_ be the mercurial
1300K43 type. ^But you shouldn*'4t allow her to_ have her way like this.
1310K43 ^It*'1s none of her concern what you do outside the *4zenana
1320K43 apartments. ^Her job is to_ keep house for you and not poke her nose
1330K43 in your affairs." $"^Well, cut short your twaddle and tell me what
1340K43 rendezvous should we fix up now?" $"^That_*'1s no worry. ^You*'3ve
1350K43 the full run of my house. ^If you feel like it we can settle down to
1360K43 a game right now." $"^But how am I to_ get round my *4Begum? ^She
1370K43 creates such a rumpus when we play at my house. ^And if she comes
1380K43 to_ know that now I*'3ve started playing here she will flay me alive."
1390K43 $"^Let her bark. ^Take no notice of her and she will start behaving
1400K43 herself in no time. ^And one more thing: ^You must learn to_ be
1410K43 stern with her." $^For some inscrutable reason Mir *4Saheb*'s *4Begum
1420K43 liked her husband to_ stay away from home as much as possible.
1430K43 ^As such, she let him indulge his passion for chess. ^If he was late
1440K43 in having a session she would remind him about it. ^This led Mir
1450K43 *4Saheb to_ think that his wife was well-meaning, considerate and gentle.
1460K43 ^But when she saw her husband and Mirza *4Saheb entrenched
1470K43 in the outer room day after day, having sessions of chess that_ seemed
1480K43 to_ be unending, she started grumbling, specially because it restricted
1490K43 her freedom of movement in the house. ^She couldn*'4t stand
1500K43 in the door of her house, as she used to_ before, and divert her mind
1510K43 by seeing the world going by. $^Even the servants began to_ whisper
1520K43 among themselves about the change in the order of things. ^Accustomed
1530K43 to spending the time in slothful ease, not caring who came and who
1540K43 went, now they had to_ remain on their toes all the time. ^They had
1550K43 to_ run out to the *4bazaar to_ buy betel-leaves at odd hours,
1560K43 keep the *4hukka going, like the passionate glow in a lover*'s heart
1570K43 and constantly replenish the plates with eats. $^THEY would
1580K43 often complain to the *4Begum that their Master*'s obsession
1590K43 for chess had become the bane of their lives. "^We have to_ go out
1600K43 on errands so frequently that blisters have formed on our feet," one
1610K43 of the servants said. "^It wouldn*'4t matter if they played for
1620K43 an hour or two to_ divert their minds but the game goes on and on from
1630K43 morning till evening. ^We*'3re your servants and shall carry out
1640K43 your orders but you must know that chess is an ominous game; it brings
1650K43 ill-luck. ^No chess player has ever prospered. ^It has blotted street
1660K43 after street out of existence. ^Nowadays they have become the talk
1670K43 of the town.*#
        **[no. of words = 02017**]

        **[txt. k44**]
0010K44 **<*3Musk Deer**> $*3^WAKING UP*0 one morning he felt a kind of wetness
0020K44 in his navel. ^He lifted the tail of his shirt and peered down. ^Indeed
0030K44 his navel was filled with a liquid, topped by a thin film. ^He dipped
0040K44 a finger in the liquid and held it close to his eyes. ^Then he sniffed
0050K44 at it. ^It had the peculiar smell that_ the dirt in the navel possesses.
0060K44 ^Disgusting if you like, but also exhilarating in a way. ^He sniffed
0070K44 again. $^He didn*'4t of course know what had happened. ^But he was
0080K44 amused rather than intrigued. "^Good God, am I turning into a musk
0090K44 deer or something?" he asked himself. **[foot note**] $^He wiped the
0091K44 liquid
0100K44 with the tail of his shirt. ^Later, he forgot about the whole matter.
0110K44 ^He had to_ finish a book rewiew by evening, and that_ kept him preoccupied.
0120K44 $^Getting into bed at night, he had another look at his navel;
0130K44 liquid had welled up again. ^Now he seemed annoyed. "^*Musk Deer, Musk
0131K44 Deer",
0140K44 he muttered as he wiped the liquid. $^Next morning the level of liquid
0150K44 in the navel had risen. ^There was a crust on the edges. ^The liquid
0160K44 was yellower than the day before. ^He also noted that his navel hurt
0170K44 slightly. "^This is too much. ^Better go and see a doctor", he decided.
0180K44 $^The doctor cast a glance at his navel and announced, "^Well, that_*'1s
0190K44 an umbilical abscess." $"^Umbilical abscess", Musk Deer said to himself.
0200K44 "^What*'1s that_?" he asked the doctor. $"^It*'1s like this", the
0210K44 doctor said. "^When you are born, they cut the umbilical cord. ^The
0220K44 wound heals after some time. ^But in some rare cases the wound does not
0230K44 quite heal. ^Later at some time it may get infected. ^Pus begins to_ come
0240K44 out." $"^But doctor, I*'3m twenty-six years old", Musk Deer said
0250K44 incredulously. "^How could the wound remain unhealed for such a long period?
0260K44 ^That_*'1s hard to_ believe." $"^Yes, it*'1s hard to_ believe",
0270K44 the doctor said. "^But such things do happen." $^It seemed to Musk Deer
0280K44 as if he were seeing all his twenty-six years in a new light. ^Hell,
0290K44 he thought, I finished school, graduated from college, began to_ work
0300K44 for a living, and all these years my umbilical cord has never been severed.
0310K44 $^He remembered Karwar, the place where he was born. ^His father
0320K44 had left Karwar soon after his birth and he had never gone back there
0330K44 himself. ^So he carried no memory of his birthplace. ^Not even a blurred
0340K44 picture of a house, or a street, a scene with trees or water, nothing.
0350K44 ^His birthplace was just a name. $"^So what do we do now?" he asked
0360K44 the doctor. $"^*I*'3ll give you antibiotics", the doctor said. "^Then
0370K44 we*'3ll see. ^Perhaps the abscess will dry out. ^But if it grows and threatens
0380K44 to_ burst, it*'1s better to_ get into a hospital." $"^How many
0390K44 days will this take?" $"^Can*'4t say. ^Maybe two or three weeks. ^Maybe
0400K44 more. ^But you do this-- take as much rest as you can. ^Don*'4t move around
0410K44 much." $^He left the doctor*'s room with a packet of sulphonamides.
0420K44 $^After lunch that_ day he went to_ see Waghmare. ^*Waghmare lived
0430K44 on the top floor of the building. ^He owned the building, and had kept
0440K44 the entire top floor for his own use. ^He had given Musk Deer a small
0450K44 room on the ground floor of the building. ^In lieu of rent, Musk Deer
0460K44 performed the duty of collecting Waghmare*'s share of the money earned
0470K44 by his beggars. ^*Waghmare had twenty-seven beggars. $*3^NOT MANY*0
0480K44 of Bombay*'s citizens know that the countless beggars in Bombay are
0490K44 under the thumb of a few bosses. ^The bosses keep beggars in their power
0500K44 by threat and force, and by protecting them from the police. ^In return
0510K44 each beggar gives a cut of his earnings to the boss. ^With two or three
0520K44 dozen beggars under his wing, a boss can make good money. ^At one
0530K44 time, one or two newspapers had planned to_ expose this racket, but the
0540K44 bosses had foiled the attempt. $^*Waghmare*'s servant opened the door
0550K44 and Musk Deer went in. ^*Waghmare*'s face was hidden behind a newspaper
0560K44 but, sensing the arrival of a visitor, he closed the newspaper and threw
0570K44 it on the table. ^He took off his spectacles and placed them upon
0580K44 the newspaper. ^He looked up. "^Ah well, it*'1s you", he said. $^*Musk
0590K44 Deer noted that Waghmare had kept his spectacles right side up. ^One
0600K44 shouldn*'4t keep spectacles in this way if they are open, for it causes
0610K44 the frame to loosen. ^It*'1s always a good idea to_ keep spectacles upside
0620K44 down. ^It bothered Musk Deer every time he saw Waghmare put down
0630K44 his spectacles the wrong way. ^But he could never get up enough courage
0640K44 to_ suggest to Waghmare that he keep his spectacles correctly. $^*Musk
0650K44 Deer told Waghmare about the umbilical abscess. "^Well", he said,
0660K44 trying to_ sound jovial, "I*'3ve become a kind of a musk deer." $^*Waghmare
0670K44 showed much interest in Musk Deer*'s malady. "^The kind of illnesses
0680K44 a man may have!" he marvelled. "^So you are a musk deer now, eh?
0690K44 ^That_*'1s a delightful idea. ^You read a lot of books, I know. ^That_*'1s
0700K44 how you get such imaginative ideas." $^As he talked, Waghmare kept
0710K44 pushing a finger up one of his nostrils. ^There didn*'4t seem to_ be
0720K44 any dirt inside. ^It was simply a hibit. ^Over the years this habit had
0730K44 made Waghmare*'s large nostrils even wider. $"^Good", said Waghmare.
0740K44 "^From now on, I*'3l call you Musk Deer. ^It sounds nice. ^But tell
0750K44 me, Musk Deer, where*'1s your doe?" ^He laughed expansively. "^Now
0760K44 you*'3ll have hordes of does following your scent, Musk Deer!" $^*Waghmare
0770K44 was now scraping hard at the inside of his nostrils, which were beginning
0780K44 to look red. ^Then Waghmare wiped his finger on his loincloth
0790K44 and, with the same finger, began to_ feel the hair inside his nose. ^The
0800K44 moment he found a somewhat long hair he held it between two fingers,
0810K44 shut his eyes, and gave a pull. ^Opening his eyes he was observing the
0820K44 hair, when he had a sudden fit of sneezing. ^The hair slipped from his
0830K44 hand. ^Wiping his nose he bent down and began to_ look for the hair on
0840K44 the carpet. ^He couldn*'4t see it. ^So he got out of the chair and, kneeling
0850K44 upon the carpet, searched for the hair. ^*Musk Deer stared at the
0860K44 soles of his feet pressing against his buttocks. ^The soles of Waghmare*'s
0870K44 feet were pink and delicate. $^At last Waghmare found the hair.
0880K44 ^He carefully dropped it into the dust-bin. $"^What else, then, Musk Deer?"
0890K44 Waghmare asked. $"^It*'1s like this", Musk Deer said. "^If this
0900K44 abscess gets worse, I shan*'4t be able to_ move around much. ^The doctor
0910K44 has told me not to_, anyway. ^So I doubt if I can make my visits
0920K44 to the beggars for some time." $^Thoughtfully, Waghmare stroked his thigh
0930K44 for a minute or two. ^Then he said, "^All right, I*'3ll send someone
0940K44 else on the round till you get well. ^But if we aren*'4t able to_ locate
0960K44 a shirker, you*'3ll have to_ go and find him. ^Okay?" $*3^RETURNING
0970K44 TO*0 his room Musk Deer thought over things. ^Since he wouldn*'4t
0980K44 be able to_ do his job for Waghmare, he decided to_ devote more time to
0990K44 his other job. ^The work he did for Waghmare had solved the problem of
1000K44 accommodation, but he still needed other work for a living. ^Fortunately,
1010K44 this happened to_ be a sedentary job. ^The Literary and Cultural
1020K44 Academy had launched the gigantic project of making a *3Literary Encyclopedia*0,
1030K44 and Musk Deer did assignments for it. ^He had some reputation
1050K44 for his knoweledge of Western literature, and he wrote articles
1060K44 in this field for the *3Encyclopedia.*0 ^Besides this, he wrote book
1070K44 reviews for the Sunday edition of *3People*'s Power.*0 ^On the whole,
1080K44 he was doing pretty well. $^*Musk Deer began to_ work on an article upon
1090K44 Georgian poetry for the *3Encyclopedia.*0 ^He swallowed sulphonamides
1100K44 at proper intervals. ^The abscess remained a mild irritation; some
1110K44 pus came out. $^Three days later there was a message from Waghmare: the
1120K44 cripple at the Bombay Central Station had vanished; also, Bansi
1130K44 Lal of Breach Candy was missing. ^Could Musk Deer go looking for them?
1140K44 $^It was not particularly painful to_ walk, not yet anyway. ^So Musk
1150K44 Deer said yes. $^Next morning he headed towrards Bombay Central.
1160K44 ^The cripple who was known simply as the cripple used to_ sleep in a
1170K44 shelter beside the State Transport bus station. ^He used to_ beg in
1180K44 the lanes around the bus station. $^First Musk Deer checked the cripple*'s
1190K44 shelter. ^Then he began to_ go over the streets around the shelter
1200K44 one by one. ^Here and there he asked petty shopkeepers if they had seen
1210K44 the cripple lately. $^When a beggar is missing, three possibilities
1220K44 arise: he may be working for another boss, or he may be begging on his
1230K44 own, or he may have left Bombay. ^Hardly anything could be done in the
1240K44 third type of case, but it seldom arose. ^From all over India, from obscure
1250K44 villages in distant regions, people came to_ beg in Bombay. ^Why
1260K44 should they leave of their own accord? ^With the other types of cases,
1270K44 one could usually trace a beggar by getting in touch with the men of
1280K44 the other beggar bosses. $^And then, this was the case of a cripple. ^How
1290K44 far could a cripple go on his own? ^A beggar women called Bhagi used
1300K44 to_ live in a shelter near a street-corner. ^The cripple sometimes visited
1310K44 her late in the night. ^*Musk Deer questioned her, and learned that
1320K44 she hadn*'4t seen the cripple for four or five days. $^Searching wider
1330K44 and wider, Musk Deer found himself near the Mahalaxmi area. ^It
1340K44 was past three in the afternoon. ^*Musk Deer was fatigued. ^Earlier in
1350K44 the day he had spent half an hour in an Irani restaurant over a cup of
1360K44 tea. ^That_ was all the rest he had had. ^But now a *3*4paanwalla*0 **[foot
1370K44 note**] told him that he had seen a cripple who crawled on his back
1380K44 go past his shop a few hours ago. ^*Musk Deer*'s face brightened. ^And
1390K44 indeed, turning a corner, he saw in the distance a figure stretched on
1400K44 the pavement. ^The figure appeared to_ be moving in Musk Deer*'s direction.
1410K44 $^Musk Deer walked a little further and waited near a shop. ^On
1420K44 the opposite pavement the cripple moved forward. ^The cripple had lost
1430K44 both his legs up to the buttocks. ^He moved on his back. ^His method
1440K44 was to_ move his head and shoulders in the desired direction, and then
1450K44 to_ drag his backside. ^He placed his small aluminium begging-bowl on
1460K44 the side on which he progressed. ^Before moving his head and shoulders,
1470K44 he pushed the bowl ahead. ^Then he dragged himself up to the bowl. ^Then
1480K44 he pushed the bowl further. ^The aluminium bowl rattled on the pavement.
1490K44 ^Passers-by dropped coins. ^The cripple was also mute, but he made
1500K44 a kind of nasal sound. ^Making what noise he could, he stretched his arms
1510K44 towards people passing in the street. ^When someone walked behind his
1520K44 head, his eyes rolled upward. ^When someone passed below his body, his
1530K44 eyes rolled downward. ^His stretched figure took up most of the
1540K44 pavement, and people had to_ find a way above or below it. $^IN A
1550K44 SHORT WHILE the cripple had moved to the point where Musk Deer stood.
1560K44 ^He was, of course, on the opposite pavement, and therefore did not see
1570K44 Musk Deer. ^Being close to the ground, his field of vision was naturally
1580K44 limited. ^He kept moving on. $^Musk Deer decided not to_ go up
1590K44 to the cripple, but instead to_ keep a watch on him from a distance. ^He
1600K44 wanted to_ see where he went at evening. ^Then he would know if the
1610K44 cripple had joined some other people. $^*Musk Deer shadowed the cripple.
1620K44 ^The cripple*'s pace was slow, and Musk Deer had to_ make frequent
1630K44 pauses. ^When the cripple was at the beginning of a street, Musk Deer
1640K44 walked to the end of the street and waited for the cripple to_ catch
1650K44 up.*#
        **[no. of words = 02019**]

        **[txt. k45**]
0010K45 **<*3The Wheel Of PROGRESS**> $*3^*NAMDEV*0 watched his broad,
0020K45 *(chappal-shod*) feet and said nothing. ^They were large brown feet,
0030K45 shod with *4chappals manufactured by the local shoemaker. ^*Namdev*'s
0040K45 feet were so large that his *4chappals had to_ be made extra
0050K45 strong and large. $^In a deep, sonorous voice, the *4sarpanch
0060K45 delivered his speech. ^*Dada heard the *4sarpanch*'s voice
0070K45 as if he spoke from another world. "^All our lives our ancestors have
0080K45 toiled and achieved nothing. ^But this is the twentieth century;
0090K45 the age of science and technology. ^We are not as ignorant as
0100K45 our ancestors were. ^The government has realised that our village
0110K45 has potential. ^The hills, for instance, have a large deposit of
0120K45 manganese. ^The river-side fields are very fertile. ^So the well-meaning
0130K45 *4sarkar has decided to_ modernise our village". $^*1Modernise*0
0140K45 was too big a word for the villagers to_ grasp. ^They were
0150K45 simple, credulous souls not used to urban speech. ^They looked
0160K45 at one another in consternation. ^What was this *4sarpanch trying
0170K45 to_ say? $"^That_ means", said the *4sarpanch kindly
0180K45 as if understanding their difficulty, "that we shall not have
0190K45 to_ use the old-fashioned tools." ^He opened the book that_ he had
0200K45 previously placed on the table and showed them a few pictures in
0210K45 it. ^There was that_ monstrous thing they called a tractor. ^The villagers
0220K45 were all agog with curiosity: how did that_ giant work?
0230K45 ^Patiently, he satisfied their questions. $^He banged his fist
0240K45 on the table. "^Just think of it", he said, "your sons and their
0250K45 children will not have to_ work at the useless plough any longer,
0260K45 they shall not have to_ pray to the gods for rain to_ make your crops
0270K45 abundant. ^You will be a second God." $^*Dada Namdev drummed
0280K45 with his broad *4chappals on the floor a dull lifeless tune.
0290K45 ^Music didn*'4t suit his feet. ^Uneasiness tightened around
0300K45 him as the *4sarpanch concluded his speech. ^*Namdev, in spite of
0310K45 the uneasiness and the desire to_ express himself, failed to_ say
0320K45 anything. ^The words stuck in his throat like dry, stale morsels
0330K45 of *4chapati. $*3^THE*0 *4sarpanch*'s speech having come
0340K45 to an end, the villagers shuffled out of the shabby *4panchayat
0350K45 *4ghar. ^They were rough folk, representative of their village woes.
0360K45 ^Their own life had been hardened by suffering and pain. $^*Dada
0370K45 began to_ walk towards his home. ^The cold, unfeeling wind lashed against
0380K45 his face. ^For once he didn*'4t mind its bitterness and chill.
0390K45 ^It kept him alive. ^He wished desperately that it would make him
0400K45 think. ^But his mind was like a dead reed down by the river. ^He
0410K45 stopped, dusted his feet and passed his tongue over parched lips. ^He
0420K45 felt thirsty all of a sudden. $^In the dim perceptibility of the
0430K45 road, he could see the kerosene lamp buring at the *4chai shop. ^The
0440K45 open laughter of the village labourers reached out to him. ^He walked
0450K45 on, conscious of a maddening thirst and the desire to_ communicate.
0460K45 ^*Modhu was at the shop. ^He was so easily recognisable, this
0470K45 son of his, with his chocolate brown, stalwart physique towering
0480K45 above those of the others, as did his voice and laughter.
0490K45 $^They greeted him as he went up to the *4chaiwalla and ordered
0500K45 a cup of tea. ^He was known in his village as Dada; hardly anyone
0510K45 knew him as Namdev. ^That_ name had died with childhood. ^He
0520K45 was their Dada now, their protector and defender. ^Was he not the
0530K45 chosen one? ^A man who knew the plans of the Indian *4Sarkar
0540K45 and communicated them to others. ^Did he not plead their woes before
0550K45 the Catholic *4sarpanch? ^As for them, they were a submissive
0560K45 lot, surrendering to their fate with an attitude that_ expressed
0570K45 verbally would be, "^We knew it would happen, it is God*'s
0580K45 wish." $*3^THE*0 steamy liquid glided down his throat, quenching
0590K45 partially his thirst. ^For once he didn*'4t listen whole-heartedly
0600K45 to the peasants*' woes. "^*Dada *4Sahib, our fields
0610K45 are dry again. ^*Dada *4Sahib, we need fertilisers to_ make our
0620K45 plants grow so that our people may be fed contentedly." $^A turmoil
0630K45 raged within him, threatening his inner calm. ^He could not smoke
0640K45 his *4cheroot in their company nor could he watch the stars light
0650K45 up the sky. ^Once again he wended his way homeward. ^*Modhu ran up to
0660K45 him as he walked on, hopeless, gasping and frustrated. "^*Dada,
0670K45 is something the matter? ^You look pale and tired as though you were
0680K45 sick." $^*Namdev stopped. ^*Madhu was standing in front of him,
0690K45 demanding an answer. ^His face was a blob in the growing darkness.
0700K45 ^His body naked, except for a loin cloth which was like.... a mountain--
0710K45 he decided at last-- unshakable and trustworthy. ^The anxiety was
0720K45 clearly etched on his face. $^For a moment, a tender look came to
0730K45 Dada*'s eyes. ^In the shadowed regions of thought he saw Modhu riding
0740K45 a tractor-- the monstrous machine that_ the *4sarpanch had shown
0750K45 in the book. ^Sadness now suffused his face. ^He passed his hand
0760K45 over his thinning hair, coughed to_ hide a sigh and said, "^Nothing
0770K45 son; go back". ^Then, without turning, he walked on, watching his
0780K45 feet again. $^*Nira was cooking in the kitchen when he entered through
0790K45 the low, *(bamboo-thatched*) verandah. ^She looked up from chopping
0800K45 the mint leaves and smiled. ^The smile softened the otherwise sharp
0810K45 featurs of her face and added a peculiar glow to it. ^But even her
0820K45 smile failed to_ cheer him. $*3^THERE*0 was hectic activity in the
0830K45 village. ^People flocked to_ see the *4sarpanch*'s sumptuous villa.
0840K45 ^For, it was all over the village that the *4sarpanch had introduced
0850K45 electricity in his villa and inserted water tubes as well. ^These
0860K45 had been conveyed to his house by a special truck full of objcts
0870K45 alien to the people. ^They fiddled with the various switches in the
0880K45 backyard. ^Being commoners, they did not have access to the other parts
0890K45 of the house. ^But the daily procession of visitors never ended.
0900K45 ^And when they went away they carried back with them the hope that
0910K45 their homes could be similarly decorated. $^The villagers helped transport
0920K45 the giant reels of wires, poles and pipes. ^*Mahesh, the laziest
0930K45 in the village, worked hard for the first time in his life. ^The
0940K45 village hoped they would work faster; Lata was tired of pulling water
0950K45 from the well. ^Of late her hands had begun to_ ache. ^At last, thank
0960K45 God, they could seek relaxation without having to_ worry about
0970K45 the work that_ was piling up. ^*Lakshmi smiled blissfully. ^At last
0980K45 she was going to_ get rid of these nasty kerosene *4deeyas. ^Their
0990K45 tiny mud cottage would have the light of the sun at night-- a man-made
1000K45 sun that_ they could command. ^*Raghunath was going to_ have
1010K45 his fields ploughed by 'trucktons', **[sic=tractors**] was that what
1011K45 they were called?
1020K45 ^And the harvesting would be 'otometic'. **[sic**] ^Blissfully she
1021K45 added extra
1030K45 *4ghee to the *4chapati she was frying. $^Only Dada accepted
1040K45 these changes indifferently. ^He was not swayed by the feverish enthusiasm
1050K45 as the other villagers were. ^He helped them when duty made
1060K45 his intrusion unavoidable. ^He rarely stopped at the *4chai shop
1070K45 now. ^They didn*'4t miss him; they were too busy. ^Children began
1080K45 to_ fear him, for his countenance, sober and unsmiling, became almost
1090K45 fearful to_ behold. ^His moroseness made Nira afraid... ^She knew
1100K45 that he fought something within himself and that it was a losing battle.
1110K45 $^Being a *4Panchayat member, Dada was put in charge of hiring and
1120K45 repairing the tractor. ^No matter how irksome the job was, duty came
1130K45 first. ^News about the tractor and the harvesting machine went everywhere.
1140K45 ^It was the main point of discussion at the pulse centres of
1150K45 the village-- the *4chai shop, the well and the field. ^The village
1160K45 was alive with praise for the Indian *4Sarkar. ^The Portuguese
1170K45 hadn*'4t done anything at all. $^People were trying their best
1180K45 to_ get their house wired. ^But only a few managed to_ do it; with
1190K45 the others, money was a problem. ^Even the government couldn*'4t
1200K45 supply them with money. ^*Dada did not wire his house. ^People
1210K45 were astounded. ^Was this old man crazy? ^Why was he making such a
1220K45 beastly fuss? $^*Dada travelled alone in his personal hell. ^The
1230K45 men who represented the government had taught Modhu to_ operate the
1240K45 tractor. ^A year later his foot was completely chopped off. ^He was
1250K45 rushed to the city hospital miles away. $^*Dada went to_ visit him
1260K45 on the third day after the accident. ^He took the train to Margao,
1270K45 then travelled by bus up to Cartalim, caught a ferry and boarded
1280K45 the bus to Panaji. ^He walked to the hospital. ^A uniformed nurse
1290K45 ushered him into the men*'s general ward. ^*Dada scanned the white-robed
1300K45 faces avidly. ^He saw the face he wanted to_ see and advanced
1310K45 to the bed at the right end of the room. $^*Modhu regarded the
1320K45 white sheet that_ covered him. ^*Dada looked at his feet and noted their
1330K45 largeness and tan. $"^How is *4Ayee", Modhu asked in a tight
1340K45 voice. $"^Worried, son". $^They understood and said nothing. ^It lay
1350K45 on them like a crushing weight. ^*Dada looked at his son, pride
1360K45 mingled with sadness. ^He belonged to the fields. ^How large and
1370K45 bronzed he was! ^*Dada managed to_ come to the point. "^How is your
1380K45 foot?" ^He was afraid and dared not hope. ^He never could fool
1390K45 himself-- conditions were bad. $*3^SLOWLY*0 ever so slowly, Modhu
1400K45 withdrew the bandaged stump of his foot from under the bedsheet.
1410K45 ^He looked away towards the wall and Dada at his feet. ^Their hearts
1420K45 were crushed and their eyes full. ^*Dada fumbled in the cloth-bag
1430K45 that_ he carried in his hand. ^He brought out a roll of *4chappatis
1440K45 wrapped in banana leaves. ^The *4chappatis had turned stale and
1450K45 dry, so he put them back in his bag again. ^They dared not look
1460K45 at each other. ^The nurse came to_ lead him away. ^Had he stayed
1470K45 too long? $"^Nurse, nurse", he called as he ran after her into the
1480K45 corridor. "^Will he need crutches, nurse?" ^His voice was the cry of
1490K45 an anguished soul. ^She looked at him and drew her eyebrows together
1500K45 in a frown. ^But the lips held an amused half-smile. ^How quaint this
1510K45 *(dhoti-clad*) old man was! "^Yes, he*'3ll be on crutches for sometime
1520K45 but he will get used to it by and by". ^Then she was gone. ^*Dada
1530K45 was left alone in the white cold and empty corridor. ^He felt
1540K45 the chill, shivered and found his way out again. $^*Nira was
1550K45 cooking rice when he reached home. ^She wept when she heard the news.
1560K45 *4^*Dev! ^What sins had her ancestors committed that_ she should deserve
1570K45 this? ^She drew her face close to the fire. ^The fire dried her
1580K45 tears with bristling yellow tongues. $^*Modhu returned home after a
1590K45 week on crutches, maimed in spirit and body. ^A sickly pallor covered
1600K45 his chocolate tan. ^Every tick-tock of his crutch was like
1610K45 a dagger in Nira*'s heart. ^How could she bear to_ see him now,
1620K45 her beloved first born, as hopelessly broken in spirit? ^He tried
1630K45 to_ hide it from her but with a mother*'s sense she knew. ^The lights
1640K45 flickered and died in the eyes when he looked across the fields
1650K45 and a nostalgic sadness took their place. ^He suffered and he suffered
1660K45 alone. $^The village was decorated for the grand feast, to_
1670K45 be held the next day. ^The villagers believed it to_ be the greatest
1680K45 day in the village. ^*Dada walked through the unlit rustic
1690K45 paths for the first time. ^He stopped at the place where the path was
1700K45 blocked by the railway track. ^He stood in the middle of it, his legs
1710K45 wide apart, his shoulders sagging. ^The moon came out, shone
1720K45 on him, and then was lost in the clouds again. ^He began to_ feel dizzy.
1730K45 ^He sat down on the rail tracks. ^His head began to_ spin. ^He
1740K45 stretched his body and lay prostrate. $*3^HE*0 was walking on a crowded,
1750K45 garishly-lit road. ^The people were new to him like faces
1760K45 in the city. ^To them he was like a man from another planet. ^The fieldswere
1770K45 full of strange monsters.*#
        **[no. of words = 02013**]

        **[txt. k46**]
0010K46 **<*3THE AWAKENING*0**> $"*3^THINK*0 it over." $^*I opened my mouth
0020K46 to_... what? ^Yell? ^Protest? ^Cry? ^Nothing seemed appropriate,
0030K46 so I closed it again, while he went on unnoticing. $^Happy are the
0040K46 blind for... $"^You don*'4t have to_, you know. ^You can always refuse.
0050K46 ^But think over first. ^You know all the facts anyway." $^Yes,
0060K46 I do. ^A father who brought into this world more children than he
0070K46 can support on a small salary. ^A daughter to_ be married;
0080K46 a son stricken by polio; another daughter yet in school. ^And I, who
0090K46 will soon be passing my \0SSC. ^The conclusion is inescapable.
0100K46 $"^*Iphigenia," I muttered. $"^What?" he asked. $^You had to_
0110K46 shout to_ be heard in that_ room. ^The noises... the stove hissing loudly;
0120K46 the onions spluttering in the oil; Rekha*'s radio on at full
0130K46 blast as usual; and Shirish and Shobha squabbling... also as
0140K46 usual. ^Hell! $"^Nothing," I shouted back. ^What would any of
0150K46 them know about Iphigenia, Agamemnon*'s sacrificed daughter, anyway?"
0160K46 ^Why must we have so much noise? ^It*'1s like a zoo. ^But
0170K46 even the animals love one in a cage! $"^Go and live there yourself."
0180K46 Shirish retorted gleefully. $"^To_ call your family animals!
0190K46 ^Mind your tongue, Alka." ^That_ was Mother. ^*God made
0200K46 mothers because he couldn*'4t be everywhere himself.
0210K46 $*3^WHAT*0 nonsense! ^There are mothers and mothers and mothers. ^Mine
0220K46 is a woman with a heavy, sullen face (but when she looks at Shirish?)
0230K46 and a tongue like a serrated knife (but when she talks to Shirish?).
0240K46 ^A woman who can turn all my ideas into foolishness, all
0250K46 my enthusiasm into sawdust. $"^*I don*'4t know how you put up
0260K46 with her impudence!" ^She cast a venomous look at poor Baba. ^The
0270K46 man whose one aim in life is to_ avoid conflicts. $"^Oh, Baba is
0280K46 a saint," I said lightly. "^He can put up with so many things."
0290K46 ^Like you, for example. "^Why not with my impudence?" ^A saint?
0300K46 ^Does being an unthinking, unfeeling, walking zombie make you
0310K46 a saint? ^No, he*'1s not a saint, but a fool. ^A blind fool. ^And it
0320K46 isn*'4t optimism, but idiocy. ^If only he hadn*'4t been so smugly
0330K46 content with what he is, with what he has, maybe we*'1d have got
0340K46 out of here sometime. $^*I can*'4t forgive him for being what he
0350K46 is; I*'3ll never forgive him. "^She should be thankful for what
0360K46 we*'3ve done for her. ^After all, Rekha left school after the 9th
0370K46 standard. ^She*'1s finishing her \0SSC." '^She'.. doesn*'4t my
0380K46 mother know my name? $"^You know Rekha was different, Manda. ^She
0390K46 was never very interested in studies. ^But our Alka is a brainy
0400K46 girl..." he looked apologetically at me. $"*3^WHAT*'1S*0
0410K46 the use of talking now? ^You know I can*'4t go on. ^You know I have
0420K46 to_ give up studies and take the precious typist*'s job your precious
0430K46 Patkar has offered. ^You know you*'3ve ruined my life." $"^No
0440K46 one can ruin your life except yourself, Alka. ^Don*'4t exaggerate."
0450K46 $*4^*Ma? ^Exaggerate? ^That_*'1s the one thing I never do. ^That_*'1s
0460K46 for kids." ^Where have I read the words... ^*I am 25 unfulfilled
0470K46 dreams old? ^*I am 17 and feel a million unfulfilled dreams
0480K46 old. what*'1s the use?" ^*I threw down the book I was trying
0490K46 to_ read. "^What*'1s the use of anything?" $^The scene ended,
0500K46 as always, with my walking out of the house. $^House? ^One room.
0510K46 ^*I stood in the gallery, my elbows on the faded, decaying wooden
0520K46 railings, my face propped on my palm. ^On either side of me people
0530K46 stood in an identical pose. ^Watching what? ^The same meaningless
0540K46 jumble of people milling round. ^With a gesture of impatience
0550K46 I moved away. ^A boy walking past me saw me and stopped. ^He smiled
0560K46 at me. ^*I smiled back. ^You can*'4t antagonise anyone in a place
0570K46 like this. ^Specially boys. $"^When are your results?" $"^Next week."
0580K46 $"^Going to_ get a first class, eh?" $^His eyes roved over me as
0590K46 he spoke and finally settled down where I knew they would. ^*I felt
0600K46 myself getting hot as though he was touching me there with his hands
0610K46 instead of his eyes. ^But what can you expect when you live in
0620K46 a *4chawl? $*3^*I REMEMBERED*0 how it had been when I had first
0630K46 come here from Nana*'s. $^*I had thought... how will I live here?
0640K46 ^Six of us in one room. ^The sounds that_ came from beyond the curtain
0650K46 behind which Baba and Mother slept. ^The common toilets. ^The
0660K46 smell, as if the whole building was one vast sewer. ^And everyone
0670K46 looking as complacent and satisfied as if life could offer nothing
0680K46 better. ^If only I hadn*'4t known anything better! ^If only
0690K46 Nana hadn*'4t taken us away! $^*I had been three and Rekha six when
0700K46 we had gone to_ live with Nana in Poona. ^*Nana had a chemist*'s
0710K46 shop and lived... ^Oh, it was Heaven compared to this *4chawl. ^We
0720K46 had gone to a good school where we wore beautiful uniforms of white
0730K46 with coloured sashes and black shoes. ^Now it all seems a dream.
0740K46 $"^How could you have married Baba and got into this mess?" ^*I
0750K46 had asked Mother in one of our rare moments of cordiality. $"^*I
0760K46 mean, look at the way Nana lived and look at this!" $^Mother*'s face
0770K46 had closed up even more than usual and she had said nothing. ^But
0780K46 my question had been purely rhetorical. ^*I had learnt the answer long
0790K46 back. ^Unlikely, improbable, and fantastic though it now seemed,
0800K46 Baba, that_ dull man, and Mother that_ bitter, angry woman had
0810K46 fallen in love and got married in spite of Nana*'s disapproval. $^And
0820K46 then there was one daughter. ^And then another. ^And Baba, who had
0830K46 started as a postal clerk, continued to_ be a postal clerk. ^And
0840K46 then, when a third child, a son, was born, Nana had relented and
0850K46 taken Rekha and me away. ^But, of course, he had to_ die, and we had
0860K46 to_ come back to this hell. ^Where you open the door and everyone
0870K46 anyone can look inside. ^Where nothing is private, not even
0880K46 your thoughts. ^Where the boys and girls, stupid, mindless robots
0890K46 are interested in nothing but movies, clothes and each other*'s
0900K46 bodies. ^And God knows if we*'3ll ever get out. ^And Rekha says,
0910K46 "What*'1s wrong?" $"*3^*YOU*'3LL*0 never get out, Rekha," I had
0920K46 told her pityingly, confident I would get out myself. "^Look at the
0930K46 kind of husbands they*'3re trying to_ get for you. ^All the same sort.
0940K46 ^All clerks. ^And you*'3ll marry one of them and live in another
0950K46 *4chawl like this all your life and have three or four children.
0960K46 ^Like Mother. ^And one day, they*'3ll become clerks too, by the
0970K46 grace of God. ^Oh God!" $^And then Rekha, dull, stupid, slow Rekha
0980K46 had said something that_ had shaken me. "^But Alka, why do you
0990K46 think of them as clerks? ^They*'3re also people." $^And I had cried
1000K46 out, "^You don*'4t understand. ^*I don*'4t mean they*'3re no good
1010K46 because they*'3re clerks. ^*I mean their type. ^*I mean, look
1020K46 at them! ^How dull they are! ^How dull they look!" $^It had been
1030K46 a despairing cry because I had known no one would understand. ^Surely
1040K46 there is something more to life than this; something beyond
1050K46 and above this shoddy way of living? $"^The trouble is," Mother had
1060K46 said scornfully, "you don*'4t know what you want. ^You only know
1070K46 what you don*'4t want." $^It*'s not true. ^*I do know what
1080K46 I want. ^*I want to_ go to college. ^Attend lectures and take down
1090K46 notes. ^And read and read and read. ^Pass exams with distinction.
1100K46 ^Go abroad for further studies. ^Come back and take up a job.
1110K46 ^Put up my hair and wear glasses and crisp ironed sarees like the
1120K46 girl I see at the bus stop every day. ^Marry (what kind of a man? the
1130K46 face is a blur.) and never quarrel with only a curtain between
1140K46 us and the children. ^And live in a house with a room of my own. ^A
1150K46 house that_ smells nice. ^And have clothes of my own, not wear things
1160K46 out of a general pool... $^All dreams. ^But more real than reality
1170K46 itself. ^Now... they were not even dreams. ^Only bubbles, like
1180K46 the ones children blow out of soapy water. ^Rainbow coloured, ethereally
1190K46 beautiful when they go up in the air. ^Then in a moment... nothing.
1200K46 ^Just nothing. $*3^*I LOOKED*0 back not with regret, but with
1210K46 shame. ^*I*'d been childish. ^Dreaming of impossible things. ^*I*'3ve
1220K46 got to_ be more realistic. ^Keep my feet on the ground. ^No,
1230K46 on the cracked cement floor of this dirty *4chawl. ^Where I belong.
1240K46 ^And where I*'3m trapped for ever and ever. ^*I*'3ll be a
1250K46 typist now. ^Nothing more. ^*I*'3ll never be like that_ girl on the
1260K46 bus stop. $^In any case how could I have been like her? ^*I, with
1270K46 my dark complexion, my long nose, my flat figure? $^*I often looked
1280K46 at myself in the mirror, in stealth of course, willing myself to_
1290K46 look like the girl on the bus stop. ^But the face that_ looked back,
1300K46 sullen and dark, was Alka*'s and no one else*'s. ^*Alka with
1310K46 better brains than all the rest of the family put together. ^*Alka
1320K46 who was to_ become a typist.
1330K46 $"^*I can*'4t force you, Alka, I know that_. ^But jobs
1340K46 like these are hard to_ get. ^It*'1s Patkar*'s goodwill that_
1350K46 has given us this chance. ^He knows how hard pressed I am, specially
1360K46 since Shirish fell ill. ^*I wish I could send you to_ college..."
1370K46 $^*I could feel the pit yawning in front of me. ^Just a week more
1380K46 for my results. ^And then... $^And then the world has shattered, with
1390K46 a shocking impact. ^Breaking, not into pieces, but into dust. ^Into
1400K46 nothingness. $^The door opened. ^Two men. ^*Baba*'s colleagues,
1410K46 entered awkwardly, with shocked faces. ^And then, pandemonium and
1420K46 hysteria. $^How old was he? ^Only 45? ^Too young to_ die. ^It
1430K46 was the first heart attack. ^No, the second. ^It seems he had one
1440K46 before and never told. ^Poor man to_ go so fast. ^What about the family?
1450K46 ^Isn*'4t there anything for them? ^So little? ^Three girls
1460K46 to_ get married? ^And the boy... how sad! ^How irresponsible to_
1470K46 have a large family in such circumstances. ^*Baba.. what*'2s
1480K46 happened to my Baba? ^Hush, Shobha, don*'4t cry like that_
1490K46 or you*'3ll start Mother all over again. ^*Shirish, let me do that_
1500K46 for you. ^No, I want Baba. ^*I don*'4t want you. ^Thank God.
1510K46 ^*Alka*'1s taking up a job. ^Imagine he was thinking of sending her
1520K46 to college! $*3^A FAILURE,*0 I thought. ^A failure.
1530K46 ^He couldn*'4t even struggle with death. ^Just went out meekly.
1540K46 ^He lived and he died a failure. ^What*'1s left? ^Nothing.
1550K46 ^Only duties incompleted, **[sic**] responsibilities badly shouldered
1560K46 and empty tears. ^There was no pity in me for him. ^Only contempt. ^*God,
1570K46 let me not live like that_. ^Let me not die like that_, having
1580K46 achieved nothing, been nothing. ^Not even knowing that
1590K46 your life was nothing. ^There was nothing left of him afterwards.
1600K46 ^Not even thoughts and words. ^Not once that_ I could say..
1610K46 ^My Baba said this. ^He said nothing that_ was not trivial, did nothing
1620K46 that_ had any meaning. ^*I searched and searched the whole
1630K46 of his life for any meaning and didn*'4t find it. ^And what I
1640K46 felt was a cold fear... will this happen to me too? $^When all
1650K46 the noise had died down, I realised what had happened. ^My last way
1660K46 of escape had been closed up. ^*I would never get out of the trap
1670K46 now. ^*I had to_ shoulder his burdens. ^*I would go on doing it till
1680K46 I died. ^A huge anger filled me. ^He wronged me by dying. ^He continued
1690K46 to_ wrong me even after his death. ^There was no help for me.
1700K46 ^There are no fairy godmothers and rich uncles in real life. ^Not even
1710K46 a God. ^It makes me laugh when people talk of a god. ^How childish...
1720K46 a benign, bearded figure up there who looks after all of
1730K46 us. ^All nonsense, there*'1s no God. ^Only us. $*3^IT*0 was a
1740K46 month later that I came upon his battered briefcase I had seen him
1750K46 carry to_ work everyday of his life.*#
        **[no. of words = 02015**]

        **[txt. k47**]
0010K47 **<*3The Carnival*0**> $*3^IT*0 was the hour before sunset when
0020K47 all things appear golden. ^The crowded streets and buildings, greying
0030K47 with age, took on a mellow look. ^It was closing time for the
0040K47 large offices of the business and commercial area. ^As the great metropolis
0050K47 lining the sea straddled north to south, the traffic now
0060K47 was all towards the north. ^The cars and buses filled with people
0070K47 wending their way home, crawled towards the north-- towards the
0080K47 residential areas of the city, and the distant, far-flung suburbs.
0090K47 ^The red buses, doubledecker and trailer, were overheavy with passengers,
0100K47 some hanging on straps-- balancing and hanging on to dear
0110K47 life as long as the leather or rexin straps held their weight. ^Motor
0120K47 cycles and scooters flashed by like exotic red, yellow, blue and
0130K47 green birds winging and picking their perilous way in between
0140K47 the moving mass of bigger vehicles. ^*Nature*'s roar, the
0150K47 sea dashed its restless waves against the tetropods curbing it, with
0160K47 little chance of being heard against the manmade, frenzied welter
0170K47 and confusion of traffic. $^Old Amai Hormusjee sat at the window
0180K47 of her apartment on the fifth floor of a tall, dingy building, looking
0190K47 at the distant horizon where the sky and sea met. ^The old
0200K47 lady was listless and the beauty of the scene made her more sad.
0210K47 $^The noise and clatter of crockery being washed in the sink,
0220K47 filtered through the kitchen door to her room. ^The children were
0230K47 all excited as they were being taken to the carnival that_ evening.
0240K47 ^It was being held a couple of miles away along the seashore.
0250K47 ^Every year it was held-- a vast open-air celebration-- at the end of
0260K47 the monsoons. ^How gaily the children chattered while dressing
0270K47 to_ go out with their mother. ^They reminded old Amai of a flock
0280K47 of bright birds gathering together to_ peck corn. ^The youngest,
0290K47 a boy of six, peeped into the room and said, "^Why don*'4t you come
0300K47 with us grandma? ^*I*'3m sure you*'3ll enjoy yourself there." ^Enjoy--
0310K47 of course she would. ^Didn*'4t she always like carnivals?
0320K47 ^How exciting to_ watch the children on the merry-go-round and the
0330K47 giant-wheel! ^What joy to_ share ice-cream candy floss and popcorn
0340K47 with them! $^Before she could reply, her daughter-in-law*'s
0350K47 voice could be heard. "^Don*'4t ask grandma, Bomi," Hilla was telling
0360K47 the child. "^She gets tired easily. ^We should not drag her
0370K47 to the carnival." $^What cheek! she had not even been asked whether
0380K47 she would like to_ go with them. ^She felt angry at being ignored.
0390K47 ^How frustrating old age was! ^One could not go out anywhere
0400K47 alone. ^One had to_ depend on someone always-- someone younger
0410K47 and stronger. ^Two drops of tears pricked her eyes, but she wiped
0420K47 them quickly, before the child could see. ^*Bomi would be startled
0430K47 and tell his mother who would then tell her version to his father.
0440K47 ^Arguments and counter arguments would snowball into recriminations
0450K47 and resentments which would make everyone unhappy. $^Soon
0460K47 the children were ready. ^*Hilla too was dressed in one of
0470K47 her better pantsuits-- the one she wore for the parties at the office
0480K47 where she worked. $"^You can heat up the morning*'s leftovers
0490K47 for dinner. ^Don*'4t wait for us. ^We will eat a lot up there," she
0500K47 said carelessly as she left for the front door, dragging her youngest
0510K47 son who had lingered to_ wave a farewell to his grandma. ^The child
0520K47 kept looking back, unable to_ comprehend the current of hostility
0530K47 between the two women. ^The older children had adjusted themselves
0540K47 to the situation. ^Both did not question or protest at the old
0550K47 woman being left out of most family outings and visits. $^The door
0560K47 banged shut. ^The tears now flowed freely. ^She gazed with glazed,
0570K47 unseeing eyes, the crowds of people hurrying to the carnival. ^It
0580K47 was indeed a glorious evening. ^It brought back sharply to her mind
0590K47 a similar evening years back, when she had been a gay, young bride.
0600K47 ^Amai had been a very pretty girl with charming manners. ^At the
0610K47 *3*4navjot*0 ceremony of her elder sister*'s son and daughter, she
0620K47 had met her future husband. ^*Albless Baug, where the function
0630K47 was being held, had not seen a more elegant crowd. ^The whole place
0640K47 was decorated with palm leaves and fern. ^The fragrant smell of burnt
0650K47 sandalwood permeated the air. ^The old *3*4agiary*0 was well
0660K47 attended by all the leading Parsi families. ^This was during the halcyon
0670K47 days of the Parsi community whose members guided the destiny
0680K47 of the city and controlled its trade, commerce and industry. ^They
0690K47 were influential eldermen and important members of the municipal
0700K47 council whose hands were seen in all the good works of the city.
0710K47 ^The many statues of these able philanthropists, still standing,
0720K47 are a testimony to those palmy days. $^*Jamshed had attended the function
0730K47 with his parents. ^He had been captivated by her good looks
0740K47 and had sent his parents, much against their will, to_ ask for her
0750K47 hand the very next day. ^*Amai*'s family had made a big fuss. $"^He
0760K47 is not a Dastur," her father had objected. "^No Dastur should marry
0770K47 outside." $^The old man*'s word was law to his five older children
0780K47 who held him in awe and were terrified of disobeying him. ^So
0790K47 much so, that Dorab and Tehmurasp had remained bachelors. ^*Freny
0800K47 had long ago resigned herself to being a spinster, having found
0810K47 no suitable Dastur for wedlock. ^Only Cawas and Naju had been
0820K47 able to_ marry Dastur spouses. ^And it was Naju*'s children*'s
0830K47 *3*4navjot*0 ceremony. ^*Amai, the sixth child and youngest daughter
0840K47 of her father, looked ravishing in her pink and gold sari with
0850K47 its scallopped border of intricate *4zari embroidery. ^She had
0860K47 always been wilful and longed to_ get away from her father*'s control.
0870K47 ^In spite of protests and threats, she came away from her parents*'
0880K47 house and married the waiting Jamshed. ^For this action,
0890K47 she was cut off by her parents, brothers and sisters. ^Alone in the
0900K47 world, having made history and caused a flutter in many a Parsi
0910K47 dove-cote, she clung to her adoring husband like an exotic orchid drawing
0920K47 upon the life blood of the host tree for its sustenance. ^*Jamshed
0930K47 was a willing slave to all her whims and fancies. ^How she had lorded
0940K47 it over him and what a charming life they had led! $^Her husband*'s
0950K47 mother had been a fiercely independent woman. ^She had ruled the
0960K47 roost and her father-in-law was a mere figurehead. ^When he died,
0970K47 the old lady had tried to_ find solace in the companionship of her
0980K47 only son. ^On one such sunny day as this, Jamshed had suggested
0990K47 going to the carnival. ^He had asked his mother to_ accompany them.
1000K47 ^At the last moment Amai had whispered that she did not want the old
1010K47 lady to_ come. ^He had been annoyed, but, being very much in love
1020K47 with her, had made some excuse to his mother. ^His mother at once understood
1030K47 that her son had been tutored by his wife. ^From that_ day
1040K47 she never came with them anywhere. ^She was rich enough to_ have a car
1050K47 for her own use and a chaffeur to_ drive it. ^As she had a few close
1060K47 friends, she looked to them for company. ^*Jamshed had always
1070K47 been a gay fellow, Amai recollected ruefully. ^Too fond of entertaining,
1080K47 too fond of rich food and drinks. ^They had been perpetually
1090K47 involved in a social whirl of teas, lunches and dinners. ^She had hardly
1100K47 found time to_ be with her small son who came on the scene later
1110K47 on. ^*Rustom had been a sweet, amiable child. ^*Jamshed had resented
1120K47 his arrival. ^She remembered how irritated he had been when
1130K47 he found that she could not accompany him to all the parties or entertain
1140K47 at home during the later stages of her pregnancy. $^Somehow
1150K47 he had blamed it all on the child. ^As soon as she was up and able
1160K47 to_ go about, he saw to it that the child did not interfere in their
1170K47 activities. ^He appointed a nurse and an *4ayah and kept the child
1180K47 apart in a different wing of their mansion. ^She saw her baby only
1190K47 once in a while, Amai recollected. ^The only true affection the
1200K47 boy received was from his grandmother, who often went and coddled him
1210K47 in his room. ^Unfortunately the old lady had died when the boy
1220K47 was four years old. ^The next two years had been sheer misery
1230K47 to him, Amai thought now with regret. ^She should have given him the
1240K47 mother*'s love that_ he missed. ^He had looked so lost and lonely.
1250K47 ^He threw tantrums and disobeyed the servants. ^It was then
1260K47 that Jamshed decided to_ take action. ^He had sent Rustom away
1270K47 to a boarding school. ^They rarely had time to_ see him. $^Old
1280K47 Amai continued sitting bunched up at the fifth floor window,
1290K47 looking at the past and hardly aware of the noise and clamour of
1300K47 the present, in the street below. ^The happenings of a bygone day
1310K47 seemed more real to her. ^How Rustom had protested when despatched
1320K47 to that_ school in the hills. ^Luckily he had been a clever, hardworking
1330K47 boy, scholarly and interested in his lessons. ^He grew
1340K47 up into a diligent and earnest young man in spite of his parents*'
1350K47 neglect. ^It was a good thing that the boy grew into such a man,
1360K47 because in course of time, her husband, who had always lived too well,
1370K47 squandered away all his wealth. ^The high living told on his
1380K47 health. ^He suddenly suffered an apoplectic attack and died, leaving
1390K47 his wife and son in straitened circumstances. $^*Amai recalled
1400K47 how difficult it had been to_ dodge their creditors in the early
1410K47 days of her widowhood. ^*Rustom had been in the final year of his
1420K47 studies. ^She had had to_ sell all the treasures which the family had
1430K47 acccumulated. ^The palatial mansion in which the family and
1440K47 its ancestors had lived for more than half a century was heavily
1450K47 mortgaged and there had been no means to_ redeem it. ^The society
1460K47 in which they had whirled about in such gay abandon, had been
1470K47 all agog with excitement. ^Was it really true that Jamshed Daruwalla
1480K47 had left his wife high and dry? ^Was she really so broke that
1490K47 she had to_ part with all her personal jewellery? ^She had felt so
1500K47 ashamed. ^The pendulum had swung. ^She had had to_ face poverty. ^If
1510K47 only she had been wise and conserved some of her resources....
1520K47 if only she had not been such a giddy butterfly.... if only.... if
1530K47 only.... ^Her thoughts went round and round, hounds chasing their tails.
1540K47 $^Somehow they had scraped through and Rustom had got a job. ^Now
1550K47 he earned just enough to_ keep them all in this small, cramped
1560K47 flat. ^Her daughter-in-law always seemed to_ be accusing her of squandering
1570K47 away their ancestral wealth. ^She did not actually say
1580K47 so, but the subtle hints she threw now and then, made Amai feel
1590K47 uncomfortable. ^She seemed to_ say, but for your foolishness, we
1600K47 could have lived in a bigger apartment. ^*I could have stayed at home
1610K47 and looked after the children. ^*I need not have been compelled to_
1620K47 work. $^*Rustom had met Hilla in his office. ^She was a stenographer.
1630K47 ^He had been impressed with her efficiency and neat personality.
1640K47 ^When he decided to_ marry her, he told his mother and brought
1650K47 her home to_ meet her. ^*Amai had been pleased that her son was
1660K47 marrying a working girl. ^They would be able to_ live a little better
1670K47 now. ^But things did not happen that_ way. ^*Hilla was a very careful
1680K47 girl and did not indulge in luxuries. ^She held a tight rein on
1690K47 the household budget. ^She knew enough of her husband*'s mother
1700K47 to_ be extra careful with what they both earned. $^As she recollected
1710K47 the various incidents of her long life, Amai felt extremely
1720K47 sorry for herself. ^What was the use of dwelling on past glory? ^Memories
1730K47 only brought regrets. ^Today*'s disappointment was a fitting
1740K47 denouncement to her past. ^She chided herself for her weakness.
1750K47 ^Didn*'4t she deserve what she got?*#
        **[no. of words = 02012**]

        **[txt. k48**]
0010K48 **<*3THE SUMMER I WAS SEVENTEEN*0**>
0020K48 $*3^SIXTEEN*0 summers were over. ^Just as my grandmother had predicted
0030K48 I was beautiful and happy. ^There was nothing that_ I wanted; Pretty
0040K48 clothes, a lovely home, warm hearted people around me and plenty of
0050K48 everything. ^*I was acutely aware of a commotion in the English
0060K48 class. ^It was because of me. ^Someone had come to_ fetch me. ^But
0070K48 why?..... ^My mother was dead.... $^At home the house was crowded.
0080K48 ^Getting over the initial shock I lay crumpled in a heap on my bed
0090K48 and wept. ^People fussed over me and consoled me. ^In a short while
0100K48 I was forgotten. ^Ladies were sitting in groups and whispering.
0110K48 ^What I heared seemed unbelievable at first. ^They said that my
0120K48 mother had died of a broken heart due to neglect on my father*'s part.
0130K48 ^They said that she had come as a vivacious bride bubbling with youth
0140K48 and health and she had faded away day by day, year by year. $^*I told
0150K48 myself that they were all mad. ^They knew nothing about us. ^Dad had
0160K48 doted on us, on my mother and we his three children. ^They did not know
0170K48 of the happiness we shared-- the exciting excursions, the tender humour
0180K48 filled meal times, the wonderful sense of togetherness that_ prevailed
0190K48 our home. ^*I didn*'4t mind the gossiping, I turned aside and sobbed
0200K48 some more. $^Something was still wrong. ^People came
0210K48 and went, frantic phone calls were being made. ^When I asked my sister
0220K48 what it was all about, she told me very tenderly that daddy was not
0230K48 at home. ^They could not locate him. ^He was out with a team of social
0240K48 workers surveying a flood stricken area. ^Dad was a political
0250K48 figure. ^Had been one for many years. ^Unstintingly he gave himself
0260K48 to the poor, the jobless, the backward classes. ^He presided over
0270K48 functions, addressed gatherings and arranged meetings. ^We were held
0280K48 in high esteem because of him. $*3^THE*0 bishop gave a grand
0290K48 funeral oration. ^The food minister also made a speech. ^*I did
0300K48 not know then, but such things did wonders to daddy*'s ego. ^Grandfather
0310K48 made a speech too. ^He spoke of mummy*'s unstinting love for
0320K48 her home and her family, of her humility and her patience. ^She
0330K48 had nothing else to_ be credited for. $^The days that_ followed
0340K48 cannot be described. ^*I think none of us had realised how mother
0350K48 had kept the love light shining in our home. ^Daddy was lucky.
0360K48 ^He had his meetings and his social work to_ keep him busy. ^He
0370K48 did not notice the yawning void that_ filled our home, gnawed at our
0380K48 hearts and tormented our minds. ^We missed our mother as we never
0390K48 dreamt we*'1d miss her, but we missed daddy too. ^We missed him
0400K48 to distraction. $*3^IT*0 was then that I realised the heart
0410K48 breaks that_ my mother bore in silence. ^*I couldn*'4t understand
0420K48 it. ^This wander lust. ^Daddy was restless unless he was on
0430K48 the move. ^His family did not matter to him or why else did he see
0440K48 so little of us? ^There was no togetherness in our relationship.
0450K48 ^It was mother who had kept us together with her love and gentleness.
0460K48 $^For days I would weep for my father*'s company. ^Why
0470K48 didn*'4t he understand that we needed him? ^Why did it not occur to
0480K48 him that his first duty was to us and not to the people in the slums?
0490K48 ^Was his public image so important? ^Precious time was slipping.
0500K48 ^How long could we belong to one another? ^What if death came
0510K48 to_ claim him as mummy was claimed? $^*Asha tried to_ reason
0520K48 with me. "^Look Kiran" she said. "^Social service to him is
0530K48 what painting is to me and writing is to you". ^That_ pacified me
0540K48 a great deal. ^But the image that_ my mother had carved for me of
0550K48 my father gradually chipped away and lay in a crumpled mess on the floor
0560K48 of my mind. $*3^ONE*0 morning months after mummy was laid
0570K48 to rest daddy stayed home for breakfast with us. ^It gave us great
0580K48 happiness, though he was not his cheerful old self. ^During the
0590K48 meal he broke the news. ^He was getting married again for our sake.
0600K48 ^He couldn*'4t bear to_ see us wilting from lack of love (some concern
0610K48 that_). ^He felt that Asha was burdened with house management.
0620K48 ^He said little Rajeev was getting too self-willed. ^The
0630K48 rest of the meal was finished in silence. $^*I was the difficult
0640K48 one. ^*Asha said it wouldn*'4t do to_ behave so. ^Daddy was furious
0650K48 with me, she said, because I had not accepted his wife.
0660K48 ^He stayed home more often than before. ^*I stuck to college and my
0670K48 room. ^He smote me, this new daddy. ^He had not had time for
0680K48 my mother. ^He took his wife to the movies. ^We accompanied them
0690K48 sometimes. ^It hurt to_ see her next to him. ^When had he last
0700K48 taken my mother to the movies? ^Her lot was cooking, washing
0710K48 scrubbing and minding the old homestead. ^Now we had a cook, a gardener,
0720K48 an odd job boy and a washer-woman. ^Oh, the irony of it all!
0730K48 $^One nihgt my stepmother came to my room. ^*I was reading.
0740K48 ^Her shadow fell across my book. ^*I looked up, she was gazing
0750K48 at me kindly. "^You must not grieve so," she told me. ^In that_
0760K48 moment I do not know what got into me but I held her hands and wept.
0770K48 ^*I wept for my mother. ^*I wept as I had never wept before.
0780K48 ^*I wept to_ think that my mother never had the courage to_ ask
0790K48 for what she longed. $^Not grand things.
0800K48 ^Just little of Dad*'s companionship; for a little more of his
0810K48 love, for rest when she was tired, for recreation when she was bored, for
0820K48 togetherness when she was all alone. ^*I wept with wonder at her
0830K48 simple faith in my father and her hope that he would change into a home
0840K48 loving person. ^Step-mother stroked my hair. ^She was a good
0850K48 woman, I thought, and a clever one, I do not know when I fell asleep.
0860K48 $*3^MY*0 seventeenth summer was coming close. ^*I had grown
0870K48 up in leaps and bounds that_ year. ^Many of life*'s realities became
0880K48 easier to_ grasp. ^Then I met Rahul. ^As our acquintance grew and
0890K48 blossomed into love, my distrust in men vanished into thin air. ^Life
0900K48 became exciting, meaningful, beautiful. ^*I had told him all my problems,
0910K48 my heartaches for my mother my numbness towards my father, my fear
0920K48 of life itself. ^*Rahul revealed a great many human traits to me.
0930K48 ^He seemed to_ know so many things about human behaviour. ^Though
0940K48 a large part of me was still not willing to_ forgive father I promised
0950K48 to_ try and forget. ^The world belonged to the '*3GO GETTERS*0'.
0960K48 ^Those who stand and wait may have to_ wait for ever. ^We planned
0970K48 our future, our fidelity, our mutual understanding. ^We didn*'4t
0980K48 have the same interests but we agreed to_ respect our diferent pursuits
0990K48 and we also promised that each would put the other first above all
1000K48 other things and everyone else. $"^It will work darling"
1010K48 Rahul told me tenderly "we*'3ll make it work together." $^*I sighed
1020K48 contentedly and rubbed my cheek against his collar. $"^*Tom
1030K48 cat" he whispered. ^*I laughed, then hand in hand we went in to_ tell
1040K48 Asha. ^It would be a double wedding for Asha too had found her
1050K48 true love.
1060K48 **<*3THE SCHOLAR*0**>
1070K48 $*3^IN*0 the morning *4Ma forgot to_ make my breakfast. ^So I ate
1080K48 two butter creams and a ginger biscuit. ^Later *4Didi remembered and
1090K48 made me a super omelette with cheese inside and she kissed me and said.
1100K48 "^Sorry Nitu, are you very hungry?" $^*I didn*'4t tell her
1110K48 about the biscuits because you can*'4t always trust *4Didi. ^She
1120K48 sometimes scolds and acts just like *4Ma. ^So I had my second breakfast
1130K48 and thought about Ammu. ^*Ammu is my grandma. ^She*'1s
1140K48 awfully old, has grey hair and chews *4paan and gives me *4prasad every
1150K48 morning after her *4Puja. ^But that_ morning she just lay in bed
1160K48 and *4didi who slept in her room was looking scared. *4^*Ma was boiling
1170K48 water and washing Ammu*'s face. ^Then *4Baba gave her an injection.
1180K48 ^*I closed my eyes when he pushed the needle in. ^Then *4didi
1190K48 turned and saw me and took me outside. ^She brought out my crayons
1200K48 and said. $"^Hey Nitu draw a sailboat for me." $*4^*Didi
1210K48 hadn*'4t gone to college though Miki had gone to school. ^*Miki is
1220K48 my elder brother and *4Ma wants me to_ call him *4Dada. ^*I don*44t.
1230K48 ^He keeps teasing me when I look at his comics and say I
1240K48 can*'4t read anyway. ^*I haven*'4t told him that I*'3m teaching myself
1250K48 to_ read. ^If I hadn*'4t got jaundice I would be going to the
1260K48 Nursery school by now. $*3^WHEN*0 Aunty and Uncle came, *4Baba
1270K48 and Uncle carried Ammu to his car and everyone left except *4didi
1280K48 and me. ^*I asked *4didi where they had gone but all she said was,
1290K48 "have you had breakfast?" ^Eating the omelette I asked, I*'3m
1300K48 four and I don*'4t like it when people don*'4t answer my questions.
1310K48 ^So I ask them again and again. *4^*Didi looked at me and said.
1320K48 $"^To the hospital." $"^Why?" $"^*Ammu is ill and
1330K48 the hospital has doctors. $"*4^*Baba is a doctor."
1340K48 $^She was silent for a minute and then said, "*4^*Baba doesn*'4t have
1350K48 all the medicines." $*4^*Didi moved around dusting the drawing room
1360K48 but she was very restless. ^She kept walking out to the *4verandah
1370K48 to_ look at the road. ^She didn*4t eat any breakfast. ^She
1380K48 gave me Miki*'s comics to_ look at. ^*Miki would truly kill her when
1390K48 he came back. ^*I drew a pink flower in one of his fighter bomber
1400K48 comics. $^Uncle and aunty came back. ^We heard the taxi and
1410K48 *4didi rushed to the gate. ^Uncle said it was a "crisis but don*'4t
1420K48 worry" and that it was a heart attack." ^*I asked him what an
1430K48 "attack" was and he frowned looking down at me and said. "^What are
1440K48 you doing here? ^Go play in the garden." $^Later after lunch
1450K48 when *4Ma came back I asked her about the attack. ^She said it
1460K48 was chest pain and that Ammu had them. ^*Miki came back and *4Ma
1470K48 talked to him in the bedroom. ^He looked terribly serious and was
1480K48 asking *4Ma a lot of questions. *4^*Ma said, "^*I don*'4t know.
1490K48 ^You*'3ll have to_ ask *4Baba". $*3^THAT_*0 afternoon Miki
1500K48 did not go out on his special speed bike. ^At night I told him
1510K48 about the flower I drew in his comic book. ^He said I could take
1520K48 the comic if I wanted to_. ^*I thought Miki was scared too, like
1530K48 *4Didi. *4^*Baba and Ammu did not come back that_ night.
1540K48 ^*I slept with Miki as *4Ma was sleeping on the sofa near the telephone.
1550K48 $^Then every morning *4didi made the breakfast for Miki and
1560K48 me. ^She is pretty good with eggs but I think *4Ma is better.
1570K48 *4^*Didi*'s cooking took awfully long and Miki would keep jumping
1580K48 around outside the kitchen and saying, "*4^*Didi I*'3m late.
1590K48 ^O God the bus*'3ll go," and *4didi would get angry. *4^*Ma was always
1600K48 rushing to the hospital and to the shops and cooking lunch.
1610K48 *4^*Baba was hardly ever home. ^Twice we had baked beans for dinner.
1620K48 ^*Miki says baked beans are "cowboy grub" and "real good stuff."
1630K48 ^Sometimes aunty came with food but we didn*'4t like them much.
1640K48 $^Aunty can*'4t cook and one evening Miki ate the vegetables she*'d
1650K48 made and said "^Yetch" and *4didi hit him. ^Aunty said, "^*I
1660K48 know it*'1s awful but you*'3ll have to_ eat it." $^People would
1670K48 ring up all the time and *4Ma would say, "^She*'1s still in crisis."
1680K48 ^*I spent a lot of time in the garden reading Miki*'s comics.
1690K48 ^*I was teaching myself to_ read but no one knew of it. *4^*Ma had
1700K48 taught me upto the cat, rat and bed, get page in the spelling book.
1710K48 ^But now I could read much more. ^The sun on the page sometimes
1720K48 made me sleep. ^It was a nice sleepiness. ^There were words
1730K48 I could read but didn*'4t understand like 'alibis' and 'spy' and how
1740K48 does one say 'blistering bernacles' or 'thundering typhoons'?*#
        **[no. of words = 02036**]

        **[txt. k49**]
0010K49 **<*3A Living Death*0**> $*3^IN*0 this place too Suman
0020K49 does not feel quite at home; she feels drained out all the time.
0030K49 "^You should put on weight," the doctor tells her. "^*I find
0040K49 you*'3re instead losing weight day by day. ^Go out for a walk
0050K49 ^Others do, ^Why don*'4t you? ^You don*'4t take your medicine on
0060K49 time, nor do you chat with others. ^A little gossip now and then
0070K49 should help to_ divert your mind." $^But she never pays any heed
0080K49 to what the doctor says. ^There is a letter from mother almost
0090K49 every week, each letter saying the same thing over and over again.
0100K49 ^Her father writes long letters to her, making a critical probe
0110K49 into the state of her health and extensively dwelling on the line of
0120K49 treatment. ^It beats her completely how, not being a doctor
0130K49 himself, he can analyse the doctor*'s findings. ^His being rated
0140K49 high as a lawyer does not entitle him to_ encroach on another*'s
0150K49 profession. ^Every month Ajju sends her some money from his
0160K49 allowance and warns her not to_ tell father about it. ^In his letters
0170K49 he frequently mentions that with her going away, the house feels
0180K49 lonely and forlorn and assures her that he will visit her at least
0190K49 once during his vacation. ^Would she like him to_ send her some
0200K49 interesting books? $^Her eyesight has become dim and everything
0210K49 looks hazy to her. ^She keeps counting on her fingers. ^How much
0220K49 more time must pass before the year runs out? $^When the year
0230K49 is over, Thakur *4Saheb, whom she calls uncle, will hold
0240K49 the death anniversary and make oblations to the shades of the dead
0250K49 while Aunt Kosi will take her holy bath before sunrise and make
0260K49 the offering of a *4chappati to the cow. ^In her eyes there will
0270K49 be the fading red of the evening sky. $^One hand resting upon
0280K49 the other, Thakur *4Saheb heaves a deep sigh and keeps looking
0290K49 into the distance as if searching for something there. "^*Anant*'s
0300K49 mother, by dying he has become immortal," he says. "^Why do you
0310K49 trouble his soul by shedding tears over his passing away?" ^Then
0320K49 he mumbles, as if talking to himself, "^The wretch, he has
0330K49 betrayed me in my old age. ^He must have settled scores with me
0340K49 for some misdeeds of my past life." $"^*Anant, don*'4t tell lies.
0350K49 ^Tell me the truth. ^Do you ever get hiccups? ^Do you have to_
0360K49 do parade every day?" $"^Yes, everyday." $"^And you have to_ do
0370K49 mountain climbing too?" $"^Yes, that_ too." $"^It must be awfully
0380K49 tiring, making your knees wobbly with pain?" $^He looked
0390K49 at her and nodded. $"^And when you*'3re tired, I mean, when
0400K49 you*'3re exhausted with fatigue..." she abruptly stopped speaking.
0410K49 $"^Yes?" $"^Oh, it*'1s nothing" $^She started laughing though
0420K49 he could see no reason for it. $"^Sometimes I seem to_ go nuts,"
0430K49 she said. "^*I sit alone and keep brooding for hours till I
0440K49 feel like crying. ^You*'3re heartless. ^Why did you call me 'cat'
0450K49 in your last letter? ^Care to_ have a *4paan?" $"^No." $"^Why
0460K49 not? ^When you were here you used to_ take *4paan everyday." $"^*I*'3ve
0470K49 given up *4paan chewing. ^It*'1s bad for the teeth. ^Cadets..."
0480K49 $"^Are cadets not human beings?" $"^Yes, that_*'1s what I really
0490K49 mean. ^They are human beings, not animals. ^They don*'4t chew
0500K49 the cud." $^*Suman did not feel peeved at being vanquished: she
0510K49 felt rather pleased. ^How clever he had become! ^He had
0520K49 come after a long time and in his absence she had also changed
0530K49 a lot. ^Sometimes when she lapsed into a thoughtful mood she
0540K49 looked mature beyond her years. $^She held out a *4paan before
0550K49 him. "^Please..." $^Without further ado Anant took the *4paan
0560K49 from her and put it into his mouth. $"^Are there no *4paan shops
0570K49 in Dehra Dun?" $"^Of course, there are," Anant laughed. "^Lots
0580K49 and lots of them. ^Why not come to Dehra Dun and have a look for
0590K49 yourself?" $"^*I like Dehra Dun." $"^Have you ever been there?"
0600K49 $"^No but I know I*'3ll like it. ^Sometimes one likes a place
0610K49 even without having visited it." $^They moved away from the *4paan
0620K49 shop. $"^Last month someone mailed me a love letter," Suman
0630K49 said, as if speaking to herself. $"^Really? ^Who?" $"^A classmate of
0640K49 mine." $"^What did he write?" $"^A lot of interesting things." $"^They
0650K49 must have done your heart good. ^*I mean you must have felt
0660K49 fine." $"^No, I didn*'4t like the letter." $"^Did it make you angry?"
0670K49 $"^No, not angry either. ^In fact, I felt nothing. ^Believe
0680K49 me, it*'1s God*'s truth." $"^You*'3re indeed a strange creature--
0690K49 that you should feel nothing." $^Subsequently, Anant visited
0700K49 Delhi two or three times. ^But on completion of his training, when
0710K49 he passed through Delhi on a week*'s joining time she happened
0720K49 to_ be away at Pushkar with her grandfather. ^It was in Rajasthan
0730K49 that she saw camels running on sand for the first time. $^When
0740K49 she returned, her mother told her that Anant had called in her
0750K49 absence and shown her a camera which took coloured photographs. ^He
0760K49 had fixed some coloured photographs in her album. ^When she
0770K49 took out the album to_ examine the photographs, she found that one of
0780K49 her passport size photographs was missing. $^A few months later
0790K49 she received a letter from Anant, which said little to any purpose,
0800K49 but was loaded with such inanities as that she should apply her mind
0810K49 to studies, that she should try to_ do without *4paan if she could,
0820K49 and what she proposed doing after her examination, and so
0830K49 on. ^She remembered that he had also written her a letter on her passing
0840K49 her Matriculation. ^Then there had been a long gap followed
0850K49 by another letter. $^She counted on her fingers. ^Yes, that_ was
0860K49 the one. $"^*I*'3ll complete one year*'s duty in December
0870K49 and then come home on leave. ^*I*'3m thinking of going to Nainital
0880K49 to_ see the winter snow. ^Why don*'4t you come along? ^It will
0890K49 be such fun. ^*I*'3ve already made up my mind. ^Tell me, if
0900K49 I make you a lieutenant*'s wife without any effort on your part,
0910K49 how will you reward me for it?" $^When Anant came home on vacation
0920K49 and bragged about the Army people, she said that she did not
0930K49 like Army folk. ^They were so rough. $"^Maybe," Anant had replied
0940K49 in a matter of fact voice. "^But tell me, why do you keep your
0950K49 hair unkempt-- like a lunatic? ^Why don*'4t you tie it in a bun like
0960K49 a civilised girl? ^You should wear a matching blouse with your
0970K49 *4saree. ^The lieuienant I*'3ve been telling you about has an aversion
0980K49 for untidy persons. ^You must pay heed to what the future
0990K49 \0C-in-C of India says. ^Go and spruce yourself up. ^We*'3re
1000K49 going to the pictures." $^She lingered at the door and looked
1010K49 back. "^*I also keep persons of such type at arm*'s length,"
1020K49 she said. "^*I*'3m cut out to_ be a school mistress. ^You*'3ll
1030K49 help me to_ get a teacher*'s job, won*'4t you?" $"^If it*'1s
1040K49 a job you*'3re hankering after, what stands in your way of serving
1050K49 a lieutenant? ^Ten rupees a month. ^Food and clothing free!"
1060K49 ^*Suman made a face at him. "^You think that_*'1s all a nice girl
1070K49 like me deserves to_ get? ^You should feel ashamed of yourself."
1080K49 $"^You call yourself nice?" ^*Anant ran to her and pulled at her unkempt
1090K49 hair. "^Leave me alone you brute! ^You*'3ve messed up my
1100K49 hair. ^Is this what they teach you at the Academy?" ^Her face
1110K49 had turned the colour of *4sindoor. ^She wiped it with the *4anchal
1120K49 of her *4saree and ran away. $^*Suman has brought that_
1130K49 old album with her and keeps her eyes glued to it, unaware of the
1140K49 passage of time. ^Her mind feels cramped between the narrow walls.
1150K49 ^The medicine bottles lie on the table by her side in complete
1160K49 disarray and their smell makes Suman feel uneasy. $^She rises
1170K49 from her bed and, walking to the verandah on her bare feet, leans
1180K49 against a pillar. ^The rain which has been falling incessantly
1190K49 for the past seven days has ceased, but the sky is still murky like
1200K49 a muddy pool and the day is foggy. ^She can see puddles of water
1210K49 all over the place. ^The verandah looks soggy and her clothes have
1220K49 gone limp and smell of dampness. ^And yet people say that she is
1230K49 living in a nice place! $"^Sister, does the weather here never
1240K49 improve?" $^The ward sister walks past her on measured steps, without
1250K49 stopping to_ talk to her. ^After walking a few steps she looks
1260K49 back and smiles. ^*Suman has never liked her smile. $^*Suman*'s
1270K49 left foot has started swelling. ^She walks shakily with a limp and
1280K49 squirms with pain if she happens to_ put her weight on the swollen
1290K49 foot. ^Pulling up a cane chair she gingerly lowers herself into
1300K49 it as if fearing that she would sink into it, and would never be
1310K49 able to_ rise again. $^The postman seemed to_ have turned hostile
1320K49 to her, for he never brought her a letter from Anant. ^Uncle
1330K49 always looked dejected. ^In the afternoon when Aunt came to_ sit
1340K49 with mother, she suddenly burst out crying for no apparent reason.
1350K49 ^For that_ matter, Suman also felt out of sorts again for no reason
1360K49 that_ she could understand. ^Then mother*'s voice came floating above
1370K49 Aunt*'s crying: "Suman, where are you? ^*Inder has been clamouring
1380K49 for tea. ^You know the maid servant has not come today. ^All
1390K49 right clean up the kitchen, instead, I*'3ll boil the water for
1400K49 tea." $"^Mother, you keep on harping about the kitchen, while
1410K49 one military post after another is slipping out of our hands,"
1420K49 Suman said in a sharp voice. "^We are being beaten back all the
1430K49 time. ^The nation*'s prestige is at stake and you..." $^Mother
1440K49 suddenly retired into her shell, and as was her habit, she got
1450K49 down to her chores without demur. $^A babble of sounds came floating
1460K49 down to them from the other end of the road. ^Then she saw some
1470K49 people together, as if tied up in a knot, blocking the traffic
1480K49 on the road. $"^*Dhola outpost!" ^They all listened with
1490K49 bared breath. "^In spite of night long heavy shelling our *4jawans
1500K49 are holding on to this post by the skin of their teeth." $^Uncle*'s
1510K49 pupils suddenly seemed to_ disappear; only the whites showed.
1520K49 ^*Aunt swallowed hard at her food. $^Father looked lost all the
1530K49 time. ^Sitting cross legged he absent-mindedly pulled at his cigar.
1540K49 "^Today I took up a wrong line of defence," he said in a listless
1550K49 voice. "^The judge gave a decision against my client. ^*Suman,
1560K49 why do you keep clinging to the radio set day in and day out?
1570K49 **[text mutilated**]
1580K49 $"^Oh, God!" $"^What*'1s wrong with you,
1590K49 Summi? ^Why don*'4t you eat?" $"^Why do you sit alone?" $"^Your
1600K49 looks cause a scare in my heart. ^What*'1s eating you!" $"^You
1610K49 run a temperature day and night. ^The doctor says that..." $"^Why
1620K49 don*'4t you speak?" ^Doctor Ghoshal asked in his pidgin Hindustani.
1630K49 "^If you don*'4t want to_ speak, then laugh, cry, do
1640K49 anything. ^If you don*'4t it*'3ll have a bad effect on your heart."
1650K49 $^Mother clung to her and wailed. "^What*'2s happened to you,
1660K49 child?" $^*Suman*'s tongue was parched and stuck to her palate.
1670K49 ^She sat there looking utterly lost. ^Her eyes remained wide
1680K49 open and yet she seemed to_ see nothing. $^A pall of gloom seemed
1690K49 to_ be hanging over the crowd on the road. ^The windows of the house
1700K49 in front were open again through which one could see Thakur
1710K49 *4Saheb, his hand resting on his balding head. ^His interest seemed to_
1720K49 be centered on his radio set. $"^*Anant*'s mother," he said.
1730K49 "^*I*'3ve a hunch that the telegram was wrong. ^In a big battaalion
1740K49 there can be many persons of the same name. ^There can be
1750K49 some mix-up in conveying the news." $^*Aunt made no reply as if she
1760K49 had lost her power of speech. "^You*'3ve even cast away my son*'s
1770K49 clothes," she said at last in a plaintive tone. "^You should
1780K49 have left something for me to_ remember him by."*#
        **[no. of words = 02009**]

        **[txt. k50**]
0010K50 **<*3CAGES*0**> $*3^IT*0 is impossible to_ find Azad
0020K50 Maidan empty of humanity at any time. ^At 5.30 \0p.m. on a Monday
0030K50 evening, it is literally packed with a constant stream
0040K50 of people, wearily fighting their way to Churchgate station or to
0050K50 any of the Hutatma Chowk bus stops. ^Offices all around the
0060K50 Fort area vomit out their employees, and the commuters*' daily
0070K50 struggle to_ get home begins. $^The old woman tottered, hunchbacked,
0080K50 towards the 84 express queue. ^Her rheumy old eyes peered
0090K50 forward, looking for the end of the seemingly endless line.
0100K50 ^With her hunchback and her scanty grey hair slicked back with
0110K50 oil into a tight little walnut of a bun, she looked a bit like
0120K50 a tortoise, peering out of its shell with hooded eyes. ^At least so
0130K50 some smart Alec in the queue thought. ^He expressed his thought
0140K50 aloud to his miniskirted companion. ^The comparison reduced
0150K50 her to helpless giggles. $"^*Ashok, you*'3re too screamingly
0160K50 funny!" she squealed. $^It was terribly hot. ^*Sharad fanned
0170K50 himself energetically with the evening paper. ^Listlessly
0180K50 he stared at the antics of a small band of urchin children,
0190K50 trying to_ collect money by getting up a miniature circus
0200K50 on the pavement. $^He looked in irritable distaste at the old
0210K50 woman who came and stood behind him. ^She put the cloth
0220K50 bag she was carrying heavily on the pavement, took the *4pallu
0230K50 of her nine-yard *4sari in her wrinkled, age-spotted hand and
0240K50 wiped the sweat off her face. ^She groaned and muttered "Ram,!
0250K50 Ram *4deva!" ^Her joints creaked as she picked up the bag again.
0260K50 ^Her brown checked *4sari was wet across the back. "^She must have
0270K50 sweated clean through her blouse," Sharad thought, repulsed. ^She
0280K50 exuded the strange smell of age, musty and caged in.
0290K50 ^Nostrils flared, he turned away, remembering. $^He had a horror
0300K50 of old age. ^Associated it with salivating senility. ^His father
0310K50 had been like that_ until his death five months ago. ^He involuntarily
0320K50 grimaced as he remembered the quarrels he and Lila had
0330K50 had about the old man, whose doddering dependence infuriated the
0340K50 young wife. $"^Always goes on and on... complaining of this, complaining
0350K50 of that_... I tell you I cannot stand it. ^Must have his
0360K50 prayer corner separate, can*'4t eat normal food, must have
0370K50 milk... do you think this is a palace, this mingy two room
0380K50 hole, or do you get a king*'s salary that you can throw it around
0390K50 like water?" she would yell. $^Tears would fill her eyes when
0400K50 Sharad said, "^But Liloo, what am I to do? ^He brought
0410K50 me up after all." $"^Yes, and you want to_ turn me into an old hag looking
0420K50 after him," she would sob. "^Day in and day out, slaving
0430K50 away in that_ furnace of a kitchen making mashes and
0440K50 soft foods for him to_ suck at. ^You cannot even take me out to_
0450K50 see a movie-- money will flow to_ buy him expensive fruits and even
0460K50 *4pooja *4prasad. ^He is my father-in-law and I respect his
0470K50 age, but he must know the old times have passed... and I will
0480K50 not be a slave in my own house." $^Torn between the two, Sharad
0490K50 had ended up venting his irritation on both. ^He acknowledged
0500K50 that his wife should not be so impatient and intolerant, but also
0510K50 knew that the fault did not lie entirely with her. ^It was true
0520K50 that the old man still seemed to_ live in a bygone age when the daughter-in-law
0530K50 was a possession, obedient, humble and meek. $"^A merciful
0540K50 release," Sharad thought. ^Of course, he assured himself,
0550K50 he had loved the old man, but... he*'d been like a baby that_ last
0560K50 year. ^Mumbling at his food with toothless gums, overhasty
0570K50 in his childish greed, saliva dribbling over his loose lips,
0580K50 folds on his neck wobbling. $^When Sharad*'s cronies used to_ come
0590K50 over of an evening, the old man would totter to where they sat,
0600K50 and, grinning a wide toothless grin, would try to_ enter
0610K50 into their conversation, ignoring Sharad*'s hints that his presence
0620K50 was not strictly necessary. ^He used to_ love nothing better than
0630K50 for Sharad to_ sit and listen to him while he talked about
0640K50 his youth and his village and Sharad*'s mother. ^The light
0650K50 would go abruptly from his eyes when Sharad stood up and said,
0660K50 "^Yes, yes, Dada. ^Another time. ^Now I must go. ^We are going out.
0670K50 ^Your dinner is ready. ^You can eat it when you want to_." $^His
0680K50 face would then fall into lines of disappointed old age and he would
0690K50 mumble: "^Yes... yes, Sharoo. ^You go. ^You go. ^Then tomorrow
0700K50 you tell me how it was." ^But Sharad would already have left
0710K50 the room and the old man would heave a sigh and strain his dim eyes
0720K50 at his *4sloka book and, champing his loose lips, mumble his *4slokas
0730K50 in a singsong voice. $^When the old man died, Sharad thought
0740K50 proudly, I didn*'4t stint on money. ^Like an emperor*'s funeral
0750K50 it was, all the neighbours had agreed. ^He had held his head
0760K50 high, pretending not to_ hear the admiring whispers, "^Look at
0770K50 Sharad Kulkarni. ^Such a man. ^In this *4Kaliyug, see how he
0780K50 still loved his father. ^Only a clerk, like any of us. ^But see the
0790K50 incense and the flowers and all. ^Easy to_ see how much he loved the
0800K50 old man." $^*Lila too had cried aloud, so that the neighbouring
0810K50 women had hurried to_ comfort her. $"^*Oh... it is my own father who
0820K50 has died," she wailed. "^How can I stay happy now that he is gone!
0830K50 ^How empty the house will seem now without him. ^Oh Vishnu, how
0840K50 could you snatch him away?" $^Yes, it had been quite a funeral,
0850K50 Sharad thought. $^The queue inched sluggishly forward in a long,
0860K50 weary crocodile. **[sic**] ^*Sharad calculated that he might be able
0870K50 to_ catch the next bus. ^He was near the head of the queue now. ^He looked
0880K50 forward to having a nice wash, followed by an invigorating cup
0890K50 of tea once he got home. $^The urchin children had finished their
0900K50 circus act. ^Faces gleaming with tiredness they moved up and
0910K50 down the queue, with outstretched hands. ^Most people looked
0920K50 away, or pretended immense absorption in their newspapers. ^A few
0930K50 yelled at the kids. ^One or two tried to_ tease the girl. ^She dropped
0940K50 her dull, brown eyes to her inadequate *4choli, and a flush
0950K50 crept up her thin cheeks. ^He felt an impulse to_ drop a small
0960K50 coin into the girl*'s rough hand. ^But he checked the impulse
0970K50 firmly. ^He was no *4maharaja after all, that he could fling money
0980K50 around carelessly. $^The girl moved flat-footedly. ^She looked
0990K50 at the hunchback. $"*4^*Mai Mother," she pleaded. ^The old woman
1000K50 motioned her away. ^The girl bent and touched her feet. "*4^*Ma, just
1010K50 two *4paise. ^*I have not eaten the whole day." ^The old woman
1020K50 moved back as if she had been stung. "^How dare you touch me! ^Get
1030K50 away from me!" $^The girl looked at her for a moment with mournful
1040K50 cow eyes, then moved slowly away. ^*Sharad felt a flame of anger
1050K50 burn up in him. ^He had at least thought of giving the girl something.
1060K50 $"^*I didn*'4t insult her like that_ old hag," he thought.
1070K50 $^Just then a gleaming 83 drew up at the stop. ^The head of
1080K50 the queue broke into a disorderly jostle. ^First come, first
1090K50 served. ^Yells, shouts and obscenities filled the air. ^People
1100K50 standing further back yelled at people in front and the conductor yelled
1110K50 impersonally at everyone. $^A ponderous woman clcutching
1120K50 two fat children waddled in. "^Any more grandmothers, aunties,
1130K50 uncles..." the conductor queried facetiously. ^Abruptly his
1140K50 *(paan-stained*) mouth parted alarmingly in a snarl. "^No more,
1150K50 I said," he roared, then rang the bell so suddenly that the jerk of
1160K50 the bus threw all the human sardines in that_ overpacked sardine
1170K50 can helplessly together. ^Leaning over at a crazy angle, the bus wheezed
1180K50 off like a monster with asthma. $^The next bus is bound to_ be
1190K50 an 84 express, Sharad thought. ^He tapped the shoulder of the man in
1200K50 front of him. ^Fixing him with an ingratiating smile, Sharad
1210K50 murmured, "^What is the time please?" $^With a stylish flick of his
1220K50 light blue shirt cuff, the man bared a black-dialled watch. "^Seven,"
1230K50 he said distantly and, without acknowledging Sharad*'s thanks,
1240K50 turned away. $^*Sharad felt a glow of anger. ^The old woman
1250K50 had heard his question. ^Now she ventured to_ say, "*4Beta."
1260K50 ^*Sharad pretended not to_ hear her. ^He enmeshed himself in the cocoon
1270K50 of his directionless irritation. ^The voice came again, weakly insistent.
1280K50 ^A claw-like hand prodded his back. ^He turned sharply, a
1290K50 frown wrinkling his face. $"^Yes?" he asked. $"*4Beta, what is the
1300K50 time? ^When will the next bus come?" $^The wrinkled face turned
1310K50 painfully upward to_ look at him. ^Fleetingly he registered
1320K50 the thought that it must be hellishly difficult looking up when
1330K50 you couldn*'4t straighten your back. ^Ungraciously he gave her the
1340K50 time. ^The second part of her question he ignored. $^Hunger gnawed
1350K50 at him now. ^He beckoned a boy carrying a tray of nuts. ^There
1360K50 were roasted *4masala nuts and peanuts and the little yellow
1370K50 shelled nuts and the brown-jacketed tiny nuts. ^The boy kept moving
1380K50 a pot containing two sticks of wood burning in a mass of ashes
1390K50 from place to place on his tray, to_ keep the nuts warm. ^*Sharad
1400K50 ordered 30 *4paise worth of peanuts. ^With deft movements,
1410K50 the boy rolled a paper cone and filled it with two bottle-capsful
1420K50 of the nuts. ^*Sharad handed over the money and took the cone,
1430K50 ignoring the rings of dirt under the boy*'s fingernails. ^Hungrily
1440K50 he crunched the nuts, rolling their flavour around his mouth. ^The
1450K50 old woman behind him groaned softly, "^Oh Rama. ^Let the bus come.
1460K50 ^*I am so tired." $^An 84 express drew up at last. ^By the time
1470K50 Sharad entered, there was standing room only. ^The old woman tried
1480K50 to_ hoist herself onto the bus. ^Always that_ sea of jostling
1490K50 people thwarted her slow attempts. ^She clutched her cloth bag and
1500K50 tried to_ gain a foothold. ^Her back felt as if it was breaking.
1510K50 ^She was being suffocated against the gleaming red side of the bus
1520K50 by the elbowing, pressing mass of people. ^With a laugh, the conductor
1530K50 hauled her in. ^She was profuse in her thanks, but he grew impatient
1540K50 for she was blocking the entrance. $"^Now move on, move on,"
1550K50 he shouted. ^One or two people laughed. ^She muttered, painfully
1560K50 embarrassed. $"^Yes, yes *4baba, I am moving. ^*I am moving," and
1570K50 she tottered up the aisle. $^Standing room only. ^Her bent figure made
1580K50 it impossible to_ reach the deep green hanging straps. ^The jerk
1590K50 of the starting bus banged her knee painfully against a seat. ^She
1600K50 lurched, the cloth bag flying out of her grip and falling with
1610K50 a dull thump on the floor. ^Two or three potatoes rolled out of
1620K50 it. ^She bent to_ pick up the bag and almost lost her balance
1630K50 again. ^The conductor yelled from near the exit of the bus,
1640K50 "^Hey there! ^Who*'1s holding up that_ empty space? ^Move forward,
1650K50 move forward. ^This isn*'4t your house. ^Come on, now. ^Fill
1660K50 that_ gap." $^Another stop. ^The conductor turned his attention
1670K50 to the pressing mob. ^Tired commuters, faces strained with the
1680K50 weariness of a long working day, mulled around
1690K50 the entrance of the bus. $^A man picked up the old woman*'s bag
1700K50 and thrust it into her hands. "^Now move on in front. ^Don*'4t
1710K50 you see there are people outside who could come in if you*'1d fill
1720K50 this gap?" $"^My potatoes," she weakly gasped. $"^Get on," the
1730K50 passengers barked. "^Move you old one. ^Why must one so old come
1740K50 by bus?" $^She moved forward, head bent. ^She saw one of the pota
1750K50 toes kicked by a careless foot. ^Part of the skin was ripped off.
1760K50 ^The pale yellow inside showed for a minute. ^The next instant
1770K50 it was bruised black by a trampling foot. $^Standing room only. ^The
1780K50 people sitting on either side of her pretended not to_ see her. ^Else
1790K50 they*'1d feel duty bound to_ give up their seats. ^They looked
1800K50 out of the windows; they pretended to_ sleep; they stared straight
1810K50 ahead; only their fingers, beating a nervous tattoo on
1820K50 their knees betrayed their unease.*#
        **[no. of words = 02037**]

        **[txt. k51**]
0010K51 **<*3Paradise Lost*0**>
0020K51 $*3^THE*0 mid-summer heat permeated the hot upstairs lobby as Mary
0030K51 stood immobilised with despair. ^Thre was a large wet stinking patch
0040K51 of sweat covering her armpits. ^Her torn and tattered *4sari barely
0050K51 managed to_ cover her nakedness. ^Her uncouth and wild jet blackhair
0060K51 was jutting out over the edges of her dark-skinned face. ^She felt
0070K51 sick and dizzy as she helplessly witnessed the imminent collapse of
0080K51 her recently acquired paradise. $^*Suki*'s harsh words of dismissal
0090K51 buzzed through her empty head. "^Pack up things... and leave.
0100K51 ^*I can*'4t stand it anymore. ^You are doing fine.
0110K51 ^It*'s not that_. ^It*'1s the kids. ^They are driving me mad.
0120K51 ^*I am plagued with headaches-- day and night. ^Five kids running
0130K51 around, eating, sleeping, changing, bathing, in front of my house.
0140K51 ^*I wish I could keep you. ^But I just can*'4t take the brood
0150K51 any longer." $^*Mary felt like a drowning woman as the meaning
0160K51 of the forthright words pierced her desperate heart. "^Please, please
0170K51 *5mem sahib*6," she begged. "^Don*'4t send me away. ^Please,
0180K51 don*'4t send us off. the quarters are not yet ready. ^There
0190K51 is no place for the childern to_ sleep and eat. ^Once ready, things
0200K51 will be different. ^*I promise. ^*I*'3ll keep them out of your
0210K51 way. ^Just wait and see. ^After I save some money. ^*I*'3ll
0220K51 send two of them to their father in Jabalpur." $^*Suki was relentless.
0230K51 "^*I mean no ill will," she repeated as her soul was enveloped
0240K51 with anguish and pain. "^It*'1s not you who are to_ blame," she
0250K51 repeated "^It*'1s the kids. ^They are the problem." $^With these
0260K51 words Mary put her hands together piteously and cried out as though she
0270K51 would die of weeping and fear. ^Then she stooped down and touched
0280K51 Suki*'s feet. ^Her frail body was all trembling with her fear and
0290K51 anxiety. $^Her mournful beseeching touched Suki*'s heart. ^Her pathetic
0300K51 words had won. "^All right," she said condescendingly as she
0310K51 motioned for Mary to_ rise. "^Let the quarters be finished. ^Then
0320K51 I*'3ll see how things go." $^*Mary*'s swollen face and red eyes
0330K51 beamed with love and gratitude as she wiped her glistening tears with her
0340K51 dirty *4sari. "^Thank you, *5mem saheb*6. ^Thank you," she repeated
0350K51 with a grateful voice. ^The blood resumed its course through
0360K51 her thin veins. "^You won*'4t, you won*'4t, I am sure regret your
0370K51 decision." $*3^*MARY*0 was happy and elated. ^She had survived
0380K51 the first difficult crisis of her new job. ^*Suki had seriously
0390K51 threatened to_ fire her, but that_ threat had been averted, thank God.
0400K51 ^Even the thought, itself, of leaving was dreadful. ^All her
0410K51 privileges and perks gone-- money, quarters, water, food, clothes.
0420K51 ^She had been living on the road-- destitute and hungry when Suki had rescued
0430K51 her and taken her home. ^She was determined to_ never again deteriorate
0440K51 to that_ filthy state. $^Dismissing all such dire thooughts
0450K51 from her mind, she concentrated on her triumphant victory.
0460K51 ^Yet, she was filled with an ominous sense of foreboding. ^Hidden
0470K51 fears and inescapable anxieties reared their evil heads. ^How long
0480K51 would it be before she faced the next guillotine? ^Had she only succeeded
0490K51 in delaying the fatal firing squad? ^As these doubts and fears
0500K51 plagued her, she grew more and more determined to_ prevent the inexorable
0510K51 hands of fate from destroying her joy and peace. ^She would
0520K51 inveigle Suki with her hard work and utter faithfulness. ^Gradually,
0530K51 she would become indispensable. ^*Suki would grow utterly
0540K51 dependent on her and lose the will to_ escape from her wily clutches.
0550K51 $^In the coming months, Mary worked hard and laboriously to_
0560K51 ensure self-survival. ^She cooked almost all the meals and picked up
0570K51 many of Suki*'s favourite dishes. ^The children grew fond of her
0580K51 and would voluntarily hand her their hand-me-downs for her needy brood.
0590K51 ^She became a well-known figure in the area and neighbourhood
0600K51 maids often came to_ chat. ^*Suki grew generous and kind-- often bringing
0610K51 her blouse piece, *4pan and *4supari from the *4bazaar. ^When
0620K51 Suki was dressing for a special occasion, Mary would pluck jasmines
0630K51 and weave a hair-piece to_ decorate her hair-do. ^When *4Holi
0640K51 came, she brought two money plants for Suki and wished her prosperity
0650K51 and wealth in her new home. $^Yet, the initial feelings of insecurity
0660K51 and fear grew like a cancerous sore in her weary breast. ^The
0670K51 uncontrollable fear was accentuated by the occasional appearances of
0680K51 a sad and gaunt woman-- Lakshmi, Suki*'s old and trusted maid
0690K51 of six years who had been dismissed beffore Mary had been hired.
0700K51 ^Whenever Mary saw her thin undernourished body approach the,
0710K51 black wicket gate in front of the bungalow, her heart skipped a beat
0720K51 and her body filled with fear. ^Displaced and jealous, Lakshmi
0730K51 threatened her job, existence and life style. ^She continually sang
0740K51 the same tune-- a desire to_ return to her former *4mem-sahib.
0750K51 ^*Mary would literally cringe in the kitchen when she heard the two
0760K51 of them chatting-- her body trembling and shaking with fear.
0770K51 ^Thump... thump... thump... her heart beats pounded frantically.
0780K51 ^She faced a horrifying and agonizing trauma that_ threatened to_
0790K51 devour her. ^Finally, Suki would refuse her request and she would
0800K51 leave-- a disappointed and angry woman. ^Only after her departure
0810K51 could Mary breathe a sigh of relief and resume her comfortable life.
0820K51 $*3^JUST*0 when a few peaceful undisturbed weeks had passed,
0830K51 Lakshmi returned and stealthily scattered a small bag of brown
0840K51 seeds inside the servants quarters and on the ground leading to the
0850K51 bungalow. ^*Mary had finished her work, gone home and was sitting
0860K51 on the cement floor of her quarters when she chanced to_ glance down.
0870K51 ^Suddenly she sprang up like a lion. ^She carefully examined
0880K51 the tiny brown seeds that_ resembled mustard seeds. ^Their presence
0890K51 symbolished an evil and portentous omen. ^Its significance was apparent--
0900K51 she wouldn*'4t long remain in the sprawling quarters. ^She
0910K51 was stunned. ^Her superstitious instincts gripped her and she fled
0920K51 like a mad woman to Suki for comfort and reassurance. $^*Suki behaved
0930K51 casually and dismissed the whole affair with a wave of her hand.
0940K51 "^Don*'4t be silly," she had retorted. "^It*'1s nothing to_ worry
0950K51 about-- just-- some tiny specks. ^Forget it. ^Means nothing."
0960K51 ^But Mary was not in a position to_ be so carefree . ^Try
0970K51 as she would, she couldn*'4t elude the twin demons of fear and insecurity.
0980K51 ^Unconsciously, she perceived the incident to_ be another
0990K51 nail in her coffin of destiny. $^Her life with Suki continued to_
1000K51 be like the waves of a mighty ocean. ^One day calm and placid-- the
1010K51 next day ferocious and angry. ^She tried her best to_ mollify Suki
1020K51 but events were often beyond her control. ^Small unpleasant incidents
1030K51 sporadically reared their annoying heads. ^She was often scolded
1040K51 for leaving the geyser on, cleaning haphazardly or for wetting the teak
1050K51 bathroom doors when she cleaned. ^Once a nearby *4chowkidar came
1060K51 to the bugngalow complaining that her kids had stolen some wood.
1070K51 ^She entangled her self with the people from the near by *4bastee,
1080K51 and they came to the house fighting and screaming vociferously.
1090K51 ^Her daughter, Kaneez had been accused of stealing money and toys.
1100K51 ^All these erruptions weighed heavily on her unconscious mind.
1110K51 ^Whenever Suki was in a good mood she would casually broach the
1120K51 topic of a rise in salary; but Suki cleverly put her off by saying she
1130K51 wasn*'4t fully satisfied with her work. $^In spite of the frequent
1140K51 unpleasant incidents, most of the time the days rolled on and
1150K51 the ugly events were soon forgotten. ^*Mary*'s sun gradually
1160K51 began to_ rise. ^Her run away husband had returned and was earning
1170K51 a good salary plus food. ^The three youngest children had been
1180K51 enrolled in a Government school. ^The eldest daughter had got
1190K51 a job. ^She had plenty of running water, three solid meals
1200K51 a day and a safe roof over her head. ^There was plenty of time
1210K51 to_ chew *4pan and roam the nearby hills and valleys.
1220K51 ^The former days of poverty and want rapidly receded from her conscious
1230K51 mind. ^The comforts and conveniences were taken for granted.
1240K51 ^Privileges became transformed into rights and expectaions.
1250K51 ^The initial excitement and joy of finding home slowly
1260K51 receded and disappeared into the distant past. $*3^MARY*0
1270K51 had just finished her lunch when she saw her mother, sister and
1280K51 childern walking towards her quarters. ^They had come for
1290K51 an overnight visit. ^They washed clothes together and had family picnic
1300K51 on the rocks in front of the quarters.
1310K51 ^The next morning Mary woke up and left for work while her family
1320K51 members were still sleeping. ^Arounnd tenthirty, when they
1330K51 were ready to_ depart, she asked Suki if she could go for a short
1340K51 while and leave them at the bus stand '^Absolutely not,' Suki
1350K51 replied firmly. "^Don*'4t leave in the middle of the work.
1360K51 ^Finish and then go... freely.' ^Mary readily agreed to the suggestion.
1370K51 ^She decided to_ just go and say good-by. $^While
1380K51 leaving the bungalow, she was overwhelmed by a feeling of safety and security.
1390K51 ^Her mother had cleaned the quarters and washed all
1400K51 the dirty clothes. ^She had even cooked lunch for the kids before
1410K51 leaving. $^A few weeks ago, at Christmas time, Suki
1420K51 had bought her a green cotton *4sari with a matching blouse. ^The
1430K51 children were attending school very regularly and most of her days were
1440K51 peaceful and quiet. ^The twin demons were held in abeyance
1450K51 captive and weak. ^When her mother requested her to_ come along
1460K51 and carry her niece to the bottom of the road, it seemed like the most
1470K51 logical thing to_ do. ^She didn*'4t bat an eyelid or hesitate--
1480K51 even for a split second. ^Carried away by a wave of confidence and
1490K51 euphoria. ^She felt like a goddess on a golden throne. ^Hadn*'4t
1500K51 her mother been highly impressed by the large quarters and never-ending
1510K51 supply of water? ^The many praises rang loudly in her ears.
1520K51 ^She had finally achieved success and prosperity. ^Even her lost
1530K51 husband had returned. ^She had a man by her side to_ protect and
1540K51 love her. ^The quarters was situated on a majestic rock with a commanding
1550K51 view of the city and its light. ^What more could she desire?
1560K51 ^The goddess of happiness and mirth had visited her. $^Forty-five
1570K51 minutes later she returned from her walk. ^*Suki was pensively
1580K51 sitting outside on the *4verandah waiting for her return.
1590K51 "^Why did you go?" she asked gravely. $^*Mary sensed danger.
1600K51 ^She was upset. "^*I... I... I didn*'4t go to the bus stand,"
1610K51 she answered nervously. $"^But you were away for forty-five minutes
1620K51 when you were distinctly told not to_ leave." ^*Suki sternly said.
1630K51 $"^*I never went." ^*Mary stupidly repeated. $"^Look,"
1640K51 ^*Suki replied firmly. "^*I am not concerned with where you went.
1650K51 ^*I am only concerned with the undeniable fact that you were away
1660K51 without leave for forty-five minutes. ^That_, in itself, is sufficient
1670K51 reason for dismissal. ^*I*'3m giving you two days*' notice.
1680K51 ^Pack up and leave on Friday." $^*Mary*'s eyes went wholly
1690K51 blank as the full meaning seeped into her confused head. ^She had no
1700K51 will or desire to_ plead her case. ^She was flying too high for that_.
1710K51 ^The chapter was closed. $^She stood-- silent and shocked--
1720K51 on the wide steps. ^With downncast eyes and a heavy heart, she
1730K51 slunk away. ^Her dreams-- hopes-- comforts-- all blown up in smoke.
1740K51 ^The deadly demon of fate had wrapped its serpentine coils around
1750K51 her impulsive body. ^She was too small and insignificant to_ resist
1760K51 its tight clutches. ^Distraught and upset, she sauntered to the
1770K51 quarters and began to_ think about the unknown future. ^As she carelessely
1780K51 opened up a tin trunk that_ Suki had given her, she was suddenly
1790K51 hypnotised. ^Two cursed brown seeds appeared in front of her
1800K51 blurry eyes. ^Bang-- the heavy cover fell with a sharp thud-- landing
1810K51 painfully on her weak and vulnerable hand. ^The victorious hands
1820K51 of fate caught her and sucked her into its bosom.*#
        **[no. of worrds = 01967**]

        **[txt. k52**]
0010K52 **<*3'MAIMOOD'*0**>
0020K52 $*3^WHEN*0 Mahmood again strained at his leash, Jaddan twisted
0030K52 his ear, making him turn his face in her direction. "*4^Sala,
0040K52 how he wags his beard!" she said, giving him a playful slap on his snout.
0050K52 "^Feeling important, eh? ^Who you think you are? ^One blow
0060K52 and it*'3ll send you reeling! ^O, Suleman*'s mother!" she
0070K52 said turning to the woman sitting by her side, "^Stop staring at me and
0080K52 bring me something to_ eat-- a *4chapati or two and some meat. ^Your
0090K52 job*'1s done. ^Your goat*'3ll deliver beautiful kids-- beautiful and
0100K52 strong. ^The same colour as my billy goat." $^*Jaddan stopped
0110K52 tweaking the animal*'s ear and patted his neck. ^Drawing closer
0120K52 to her, the goat raised his head and put his mouth to her ear. "^O,
0130K52 Suleman*'s mother," Jaddan cried. "^Just look at what this beast*'1s
0140K52 doing! ^The rascal! ^He*'1s taking it out on me for twisting
0150K52 his ear. ^O, Maimood, stop nibbling at my ear. ^Or you*'3ll
0160K52 be in trouble. ^So, you have brought the *4chapatis. ^Made
0170K52 from rationed wheat? ^No, I don*'4t think so. ^They look so
0180K52 coarse. ^But I*'3ll eat them, all the same. *4^Harami, stop
0190K52 it. ^You*'3re hurting my ear. ^*Rahiman, you won*'4t believe
0200K52 it. ^This pet of mine is very touchy-- like humans."
0210K52 $"^*Sharafat*'s *4amma, a goat is no doubt a dumb creature but it
0220K52 has many human traits," Rahiman said. "^No mother could take better
0230K52 care of her child the way you pamper this animal." ^Seeing the *4chapatis
0240K52 in Jaddan*'s hands Mahmood rushed forward and started nibbling
0250K52 at the *4chapatis. ^After taking a big bite he would playfully butt
0260K52 Jaddan*'s head with his horns and then stop to_ swallow the food.
0270K52 $"^Poor thing! ^*God forgot to_ dole out some patience to him," Jaddan
0280K52 said, turning to Rahiman. "^When a man grows old he wants someone
0290K52 to_ be always at his beck and call. ^The fellow should come when
0300K52 he says, 'come' and go away when he says 'go'. ^*Suleman*'s *4amma,
0310K52 I don*'4t know about others, I can only tell you about Maimood.
0320K52 ^The dear wretch, if I stand at the corner of the 9th lane of Khuldabad
0330K52 and the skunk is hovering round the garbage heap of *4nakkhas, I just
0340K52 shout 'Maimood, Maimood!' and he comes running to me at a canter,
0350K52 bleating like a lamb. ^It*'1s like a child running up to his mohter.
0360K52 ^But when this scoundrel is busy with his 'mothers' he doesn*'4t
0370K52 have an eye for anything else. ^He even forgets his *4Allah.
0380K52 ^He just throws a sidelong glance in my direction and scampers off in
0390K52 the direction of those wicked 'females'." $^*Jaddan smiled at her
0400K52 crude joke, showing her *(paan-stained*) teeth which had rotted down
0410K52 to the gums. ^Through the upturned flap of her musty, patched-up
0420K52 *4burqua, her wizened, weather-beaten face showed like a witch*'s.
0430K52 $"^*Sharafat*'s *4amma, how interestingly you talk about this butcher*'s
0440K52 morsel! ^*I can even see a saintly gleam flitting across
0450K52 your face." ^*Rahiman watched her goat walking away from them and
0460K52 laughed. $"^*Rahiman, you*'3re no longer young, either," Jaddan
0470K52 said. "^But you make up for lack of youth by your rich experience.
0480K52 ^Of course, you know that a dumb animal and a child don*'4t go by
0490K52 a person*'s age or looks. ^They only distinguish between love and hatred,
0500K52 good and evil. ^You*'3ve seen Sharafat*'s wife. ^You can*'4t
0510K52 find her peer even in Haji Lal Mohammed *4biri merchant*'s family
0520K52 or among the Sherwanis. ^But my Maimood starts looking the other way
0530K52 when she tries to_ catch his eye. ^He dislikes her for he knows that
0540K52 that_ woman often complains that he stinks to the skies. ^She also
0550K52 feels jealous of me. ^She says that I can desert my own child
0560K52 but not my goat. ^*I say to her: '^*God*'s curse on your delicate
0570K52 body and good looks. ^You may put a thick coat of powder on your face
0580K52 and bathe your body with scent and yet my Maimood would not deign to_
0590K52 look at you.' ^Animals and children go by their insticts.
0600K52 ^They don*'4t care for the colour of one*'s skin. ^They are only swayed
0610K52 by one*'s intentions. ^Yes, one*'s intentions. ^That_ exalted
0620K52 woman who considers herself to_ be a girl of high lineage has never cared
0630K52 to_ dangle even a blade of grass before Maimood*'s face.
0640K52 ^There*'1s no love lost between the two. ^*Rahiman, may God have mercy
0650K52 on you, your goat will bear at least two, if not three kids.
0660K52 ^*I swear by God, the *4chapatis he has nibbled on have as good as gone
0670K52 into my belly. ^People take Maimood for granted. ^They think
0680K52 his only job is to_ serve their goats. ^After he has finished with
0690K52 a goat he wilts like a child who has been playing in the sun. ^Only
0700K52 I and God above can see the poor shape he*'1s in. ^You remember he
0710K52 was born last year nearabout Bakar-Id. ^If I remember aright
0720K52 it was a Friday or may be a Thursday. ^Due to age my wretched memory
0730K52 has started failing me. ^That_ makes one year and three and a half
0740K52 months. ^That*'1s how old he*'1s now." $^*Jaddan got up from the
0750K52 cot. "^*Suleman*'s *4amma, I must go now," she said fondling Mahmood*'s
0760K52 back. "^It*'1s time for Sharafat*'s *4abba to_ say his afternoon
0770K52 *4namaz. ^*I*'3m told Shahnaz*'s *4abba and her people will be arriving
0780K52 from Rae Bareilly in the afternoon." $^*Rahiman was still
0790K52 thinking of Jaddan*'s billy goat. "^You say he*'1s one year and three
0800K52 and a half months old," she said. "^But looking at his solid
0810K52 body and thick thighs no one would take him for less than three years.
0820K52 ^If anything, he must have about twenty-five *4seers solid flesh
0830K52 on him. ^It seems all his life he has been fed on grains and no grass."
0840K52 $^Although Rahiman had only emphasised the animal*'s plus
0850K52 points and there was no trace of rancour in her voice yet Jaddan*'s
0860K52 face tingled with rage. "^Rahiman, may God singe your tongue," she
0870K52 cried. "^Now that your goat is done with you have the temerity to_
0880K52 weigh the flesh on my Maimood*'s haunches. ^Your husband is a carpenter,
0890K52 isn*'4t he? ^Then where did you manage to_ learn this butcher*'s
0900K52 lingo? ^Twenty-five *4seers of flesh indeed! ^Oh, God, why
0910K52 have people lost all sense of shame? ^These days even the gaze of
0920K52 a flesh-eater has become as menacing as the edge of a butcher*'s knife.
0930K52 ^O, Rahiman, I warn you, don*'4t talk such sacrilege in future.
0940K52 ^And listen, next time take your goat somewhere else. ^My Maimdood
0950K52 does not hold the exclusive right to mounting all the goats of
0960K52 Khuldabad." $"*4^Arree Jaddan, don*'4t talk big like those
0970K52 *4^Begums living in palaces," Rahiman blazed forth. "^Your Mahmood
0980K52 is just an ordinary animal and not king Hatimtai. ^Haven*'4t
0990K52 you heard the saying: a goat*'s mother cannot keep her son from the
1000K52 butcher*'s knife for long. ^And listen one must take note of what
1010K52 others say and learn from them. ^The truth is you*'3ve no child
1020K52 of your own-- only step-children whom you have always kept at arm*'s length,
1030K52 much less offered them your 'teats' if ever there was any milk in
1040K52 them. ^That_*'is why you always keep saying, 'Mahmood, my Mahmood'
1050K52 all the time. ^Don*'4t I know? ^You do it to_ hide your frustration."
1060K52 $^*Jaddan who had started to_ go suddenly stopped and
1070K52 squirmed as if she had been stung by a scorpion. $"^*Rahiman,
1080K52 you*'3ve hurt my feelings," she cried. ^"but I*'3ll keep
1090K52 quiet over it for God will punish you for it. ^As for that_
1100K52 adage relating to the goat*'s mother, you know that a mother*'s prayer
1110K52 does not go far. ^If it did, your eldest son Suleman would
1120K52 not have died an early death. ^By this time he would have grown
1130K52 into a hefty young man and you would not have been Suleman*'s mother
1140K52 only in name. ^*Rahiman, hold your peace for a moment. ^Just
1150K52 let me finish. ^May God forgive me, for I assure you, I don*'4t
1160K52 want to_ make fun of your suffering or join issues with you. ^*I
1170K52 only want to_ tell you that one feels only for those whom one loves.
1180K52 ^*Suleman*'s *4amma, I know that one day my goat is going
1190K52 to_ be butchered for no one has ever been able to_ save a goat from
1200K52 the butcher*'s knife. ^*I always pray to God that I should be spared
1210K52 the agony of watching Maimood being butchered. ^*I*'3m at one with
1220K52 you that before *4Allah the prayer of a goat*'s mother is like
1230K52 a muzzein*'s call falling on deaf ears. ^All I know is that I love
1240K52 this animal like my own child." $^Not knowing how to_ cope with
1250K52 Jaddan*'s rhetoric Rahiman sat there watching Jaddan wiping her tears
1260K52 with the flap of her *4burqua and then patting the goat before driving
1270K52 it off towards her house. $*3^WHEN*0 she reached
1280K52 home Ashraf Mian had already sat down to his *4namaz. ^She shut
1290K52 up the goat in the small room adjacent to the lavatory. "^This is
1300K52 no time for you to_ knock about in the open," she mubmled. "^This year
1310K52 the *4loo has started early." $^His *4namaz over, Asharaf Mian
1320K52 sat down to_ eat his afternoon meal. "^*Sharafat*'s *4amma,
1330K52 of course, you must be aware of the message from Rae Bareilly."
1340K52 he said. "^Our financial condition is not hidden from you but we
1350K52 must keep up appearances before them. ^It*'1s a question of our
1360K52 prestige. ^*I talked it over with Sharafat and Zahir and I*'3m
1370K52 inclined to_ agree with what they say. ^Mutton sells at ten *4rupees
1380K52 a kilo in the *4bazaar. ^There will be half a dozen people coming
1390K52 over from Shahnaz*'s family and courtesy demands that we should also
1400K52 invite eight or ten people from among our neighbours to_ join us.
1410K52 ^It will mean a tidy sum of money. ^But when Rae Bareilly people
1420K52 can be so lavish in entertaining us, it*'1s incumbent upon us to_
1430K52 reciprocate in the same manner. ^*Sharafat said "I must sound you about
1440K52 it. ^If we cut up your goat it will make a sumptuous pot
1450K52 of meat and no harm done. ^In fact, it would be an easy way out of
1460K52 our predicament. ^Mutton from the *4bazaar wouldn*'4t cost less
1470K52 than fifty-sixty *4rupees. ^We can*'4t make do just with *4roghanjosh
1480K52 . ^We must also have *4koftas and *4kababs. ^Last year when
1490K52 we went to Rae Bareilly, Shahanaz*'s father had two goats slaughtered
1500K52 in our honour, not to_ count the large number of hens. ^How
1510K52 he feted us all the five days that_ we stayed with him. ^The way we
1520K52 downed the food our bellies swelled with eating. ^And the flatulence
1530K52 it caused! ^Of course, we*'3re no match to them now that we
1540K52 have fallen on evil times but we must not give them an inkling of it."
1550K52 $^The more Asharaf Mian dwelt on the preamble the more Jaddan*'s
1560K52 face became strained. ^They knew it was no easy task to_ coax *4Amma
1570K52 into parting with Mahamood. ^While Ashraf Mian was on the subject,
1580K52 Shahanaz was sitting in the next room, feeding her child,
1590K52 apprehensive that *4Amma might burst upon her like a tornado. ^Though
1600K52 trying to_ look unconcerned her ears were attuned to what was going
1610K52 on between Ashraf Mian and *4Amma. ^Then she heard *4Amma
1620K52 saying in a voice taut with bitterness that Sharafat*'s wife, Shahnaz,
1630K52 was determined to_ have Maimood slaughtered to_ regale her guests
1640K52 with his meat. $"*4^*Amma, I*'3m not to_ blame," she said
1650K52 rushing into the other room. "^Ask him. ^*I*'3m dead set against
1660K52 it. ^*I know how sentimental you are in this matter. ^But
1670K52 I equally know how things are going to_ turn out in the end. ^Your
1680K52 sons will commit the sacrilege and I*'3ll come in for censure."
1690K52 $^*Shahnaz*'s tone was so self-defacing and her behaviour so subdued that
1700K52 Jaddan was deeply moved. $"^*Sharafat*'s *4abba," she said.
1710K52 "^Do you think I*'3ll carry away this goat, tied to my chest when
1720K52 I depart from this world? Rahiman was right when she said that a
1730K52 goat*'s fate is sealed from the beginning. ^Alas, this wretched
1740K52 animal has become a part of my life. ^You*'3ll recall that when he
1750K52 was a kid I made him sleep in the bed with me and this made you laugh.
1760K52 ^But I was helpless.*#
        **[no. of words = 02035**]

        **[txt. k53**]
0010K53 **<*3The Final Blackout*0**> $*3^MY*0 eyes flew open to_
0020K53 collide with the darkness. ^For one mad moment I thougnt I had
0030K53 gone blind. ^A frenzied groping towards the night switches--
0040K53 they were on. ^My luminous dial said quarter of 10.
0050K53 ^*I had dozed off at some \0TV commercial point and had
0060K53 woken up to a power failure. ^Sounds, four storeys down--
0070K53 muffled and sharp explosions of pandemonium. ^*I rushed towards
0080K53 the kitchen with a vague memory of a torch in one of the cupboards.
0090K53 ^My fumbling hand circled over it and I pressed the
0100K53 button. ^Nothing happened. ^If the previous girl couldn*'4t leave
0110K53 a couple of battery cells in her torch, chances of finding
0120K53 a candle were even more remote. ^In desperation I turned on the
0130K53 gas. ^The usually inpersonal blue flame carved a tiny
0140K53 island of comfort in the blackness. ^*I wretchedly remembered
0150K53 the phone having been disconnected a couple of days ago. $"^Sorry
0160K53 miss, the bills have to_ be paid first." $^They were not even
0170K53 my bills! ^It hadn*'4t perturbed me too much as there were a
0180K53 couple of pay phones around-- one in the drugstore just opposite
0190K53 my apartment. $^It had shocked a couple of people to_ know
0200K53 that I was moving into this part of Brooklyn. ^What was a single
0210K53 Indian girl doing in such a sleazy area? ^*They wouldn*'4t
0220K53 have known my relief at getting a place to_ burrow into
0230K53 after the run of luck I had been through. ^Moved in just
0240K53 five days ago-- knew no neighbours, had no need to_ know. ^If only
0250K53 that_ wretched phone were working. ^If only I could
0260K53 talk to someone in this sweltering darkness. $^Sinister
0270K53 pockets of sound kept knocking on the windows constantly.
0280K53 ^*I played a terrifying game of identifying them and stopped
0290K53 at once. ^This was an all-Black area. ^*I had noticed some others
0300K53 too but had spent little time placing them. ^My struggle in the
0310K53 quagmire of day-to-day existence had wiped out my natural curiosity
0320K53 about my surroundings long ago. ^*I hadn*'4t been to work the
0330K53 last two days. ^*I was assailed by a constant fear of being
0340K53 raped or mugged when I returned at night from the other side
0350K53 of Brooklyn, where I worked. $^*I wondered for the hundredth
0360K53 time whether this nightmare was a local event or had encompassed
0370K53 the whole city or country or what? ^My fear and the mugginess
0380K53 were wedded in a sadistic union of torture. ^On the one hand
0390K53 I was dying to_ open the windows-- I always shut them at
0400K53 night for fear of I wasn*'4t quite sure what-- on the other hand I
0410K53 was afraid of exposing myself to the raw reality of all
0420K53 those sounds and flare-ups. ^At this moment the heat reminded me
0430K53 of Calcutta when granny*'s airconditioner silently mocked us
0440K53 during the day-time power cut. ^No such useless luxury in this
0450K53 flat, but I at least had a portable fan. ^*I eased my
0460K53 aching joints, pulled together like individuals rallying around
0470K53 me in my distress. ^Whom did I have? ^If only that_ blasted
0480K53 phone.... "^Hi Telly. ^Your area knocked out too? ^What*'1s
0490K53 going on? ^Ya, I know it is a blackout; but
0500K53 why? ^In god*'s name why?" ^How safe I*'1d feel if
0510K53 Telly was here now. ^My leg jerked down suddenly. ^*I
0520K53 stood up and groped my way to the bedroom-- how impressive
0530K53 that_ sounded-- what bed? ^*I had a mattress on the floor.
0540K53 ^The bed in the corner had obviously seen some very heavy activity
0550K53 and its protruding springs squeaked out some story in metallic
0560K53 idiom every time I sat on it. ^*I laid down for a while
0570K53 on the floor and felt around for the radio. ^Some logic told me
0580K53 that the cut, local or nationwide, wouldn*'4t exactly shut
0590K53 off radio broadcasts. ^A human voice at last-- even if it came through
0600K53 a conglomeration of wires and cells. ^Five minutes later
0610K53 I lay still as a corpse. ^Power failure in the world*'s most
0620K53 pulsating city. ^By now the 'light effects' had steadied themselves
0630K53 outside and I noticed that there was a cascade of light which
0640K53 rose steadily above the others. ^A glow like a bonfire. ^Surely
0650K53 this bonfire could not have much good cheer attached to it. ^Then
0660K53 I heard some words scattered in the open. "^*Christmas". ^Why
0670K53 Christmas? ^That_ word did it. ^*I couldn*'4t keep away from
0680K53 it any longer-- let the ghosts of darkness get me, but I shall
0690K53 see for myself! ^With pounding insides I opened the living room
0700K53 window and looked out. ^The scene below was so grotesque, I was transfixed.
0710K53 ^Such intense movement. ^Hundreds of marionettes manipulated
0720K53 by a freak disaster. ^That_ 'bonfire' was the drugstore, and here
0730K53 I had hoped to_ call up Telly first thing in the morning. ^What
0740K53 would I make the call with? ^Gutted rafters? $^My first reaction
0750K53 was a hopeless feeling of disgust. ^What a scene! ^Switch off the
0760K53 mains for one bloody moment and a million year*'s of belaboured
0770K53 'civilisation' burned out. ^A total blackout of reason which left
0780K53 behind a charred residue of ignoble savages. ^Why did man persist
0790K53 in building when it took so little to_ demolish? ^Why did he
0800K53 bother? ^Just then my curtain of resentment parted to_ reveal a scene
0810K53 which had occurred a few months ago. ^It was at Macy*'s, in
0820K53 the Village. $^*I had wandered in with a half idea of getting out
0830K53 of the biting cold outside when suddenly I was consumed by an urge
0840K53 to_ swipe. ^All those pickable articles lying around seemed to_
0850K53 extend a wanton invitation: lingerie, nightwear, jewellery, cosmetics,
0860K53 chocolates... ^No carefully inculcated 'value' held my hands
0870K53 back, but the fact that I might make some store detective*'s
0880K53 day did. ^*God, I was so broke those days. $^*I had rushed out of
0890K53 Macy*'s that_ evening resolving never to_ enter another departmental
0900K53 store till I had some green in my wallet. ^That_ wallet-- always in
0910K53 a state of shameless want. ^*I then wondered how many of those on
0920K53 the streets below had wallets like mine. ^As I watched those freshly
0930K53 incubated 'thieves' charging in and out of tragedy stricken
0940K53 stores, I could slowly rationalise their actions. ^You spend your
0950K53 lifetime seeing others. always others, getting what you want. ^They
0960K53 always seem to_ be making it to the top, middle or even just one
0970K53 notch above you, but you never seem to_ get there yourself. ^The resentment
0980K53 which insidiously takes over your consciousness later proves
0990K53 the futility of neatly drawn blueprints of ethical conduct!
1000K53 $^Tragic little Pamela Bannerjee. ^Always contrasted unfavourably
1010K53 against two talented older sisters and a brilliant brother. $"^This
1020K53 child is the limit! ^So irritating. ^Look at her staring at me as
1030K53 though she hasn*'4t done a thing." $^Faint memories of a strong
1040K53 anti-mother image. ^Granny jumping to my defence. "^Leave her alone
1050K53 Smita, concentrate on your children for a change." $^The unfathomable
1060K53 confusion created in the mind of a seven-year-old due to one carelessly
1070K53 uttered possessive pronoun. ^The further hurt and confusion
1080K53 when I had asked. "^Granny am I not mummy*'s child?" ^And she
1090K53 had replied, "^Of course you are but--" and the vacuum of that_ incomplete
1100K53 reply, causing a feeling of total rejection which a dozen grandmothers
1110K53 could not obliterate. $"\0Ms. Pam has been meddling with my
1120K53 stamps again. ^Look at the mess she has made?" ^That_ palm against cheek--
1130K53 not in gentleness but in fury. ^One person who seemed above and
1140K53 uninvolved in all this was grandpa. ^So many years in the company of
1150K53 his writing and books and he had become something of a leather-bound
1160K53 tome himself. ^There were moments of awareness, of vibrations between
1170K53 him and me but they came from such a distance. ^He had become
1180K53 a figure of awe and very remote. ^Then that_ ghastly incident when
1190K53 I was 10. ^The accident when my brother was driving with my sisters
1200K53 and mother in the car. ^She alone survived and was paralysed waist
1210K53 downwards. ^She blamed everything on a heartless god while she
1220K53 looked at me with a strange mixture of accusation and hatred. ^She
1230K53 never forgave me for being her only surviving child. ^Sometimes
1240K53 I would knot up with pity for her agony-- a paralysed widow having
1250K53 seen three of her children die-- but I would be forced out of
1260K53 my finer sentiments by her, with some word or insinuation. $^Horror
1270K53 shivers at the recollection of those bleak years in boarding school,
1280K53 granny*'s desperate attempt to_ give me a normal childhood
1290K53 or girlhood or whatever, with a hope of improving the relationship
1300K53 between mummy and me. ^My withdrawal from normalcy as I became
1310K53 more and more enwrapped in the big question, Why does she hate me?"
1320K53 ^Tragic report cards with crucifying remarks like "^Is inteiligent
1330K53 but dreams all the time" or "^Refuses to_ participate in group activities",
1340K53 ^Later college, with its aimless infusion of art subjects
1350K53 and hopelessness. ^Post-graduation in sociology because there was little
1360K53 else to_ do. ^And then the desire, which had been steadily building
1370K53 up-- to_ get away. ^Where? ^How? ^When? ^Questions which spun
1380K53 around with an intensity which kept my desire alive instead of killing
1390K53 it. $"^Granny I want to_ go to the States." $"^Okay darling,
1400K53 we will find you a boy who is settled there." $"^*I don*'4t want
1410K53 to_ get married." ^And a sudden jumble of words--" ^Who would want to_
1420K53 marry someone like me?" $"^Anyone would Pamu. ^You are a very pretty
1430K53 little girl you know." $"^Is that_ enough to_ get married granny?"
1440K53 $^The vexation on that_ dear, lined face. ^The eloquent compassion
1450K53 in her deep, grey eyes. ^All my questions lying unanswered in
1460K53 her silence. $"^Sorry granny. ^*I just brought that_ in out of the
1470K53 blue. ^*I am not thinking of marriage. ^*I want to_ go to_ study
1480K53 further and I feel I*'3ll do well." $"^With your academic record?"
1490K53 ^A gentle question but a mordant one. $"^Worse records have been
1500K53 accepted," I had countered. ^Soon atter, luck entered my life
1510K53 for better or for worse. ^*I saw the professor*'s ad while
1520K53 cutting out the crossword. ^He was prepared to_ offer a year*'s tuition
1530K53 in New York State University in return for "assistance in research
1540K53 work" which he and his wife were conducting. ^*I pleaded for
1550K53 one-way fare. ^Granny*'s refusal to_ comply, mummy*'s calculated
1560K53 indifference and finally grandpa, of all people, stepping out of
1570K53 his wordy world and applauding my spirit with the overwhelming
1580K53 gift of a return ticket. $"^Just in case things don*'4t work
1590K53 out as you plan, you can hop on to_ a return fight." ^And he calmed
1600K53 granny into acceptance. $^Two months later I was staring at
1610K53 the somewhat sacred aloofness of Kannedy Airport. ^To my intense
1620K53 relief the professor was there to_ receive me. ^*I would never
1630K53 forget the total disorientation which engulfed me. ^The jet
1640K53 lag was only a part of it. ^The professor and his Indian wife were
1650K53 very strategic in their behaviour with me. ^It took me exactly
1660K53 six weeks to_ realise that I was less of a research assistant
1670K53 and more of a domestic and nursery in-charge. ^*I had liked their
1680K53 two little kids and had felt rather mean leaving one Saturday
1690K53 night, while the parents were out and I was baby-sitting.
1700K53 ^*I knew they*'1d be safe. ^*I had sanguinely hoped to_
1710K53 get a scholarship before the semester was over. ^My fees had been
1720K53 paid for that_ semester........ $^Rivulets of stickiness were
1730K53 tracing fresh paths all over my body. ^Fear or no fear, light
1740K53 or not, I just had to_ douse myself under the shower. ^*I covered
1750K53 the 10 odd steps to the bathroom in a second and turned on the
1760K53 fawcet-- nothing happened. ^What had the mains to_ do with the water
1770K53 supply? ^Of course! ^The damn pumps must*'3ve stopped. ^Five teasing
1780K53 drops wet my palm and dripped into the tub below. ^Then I broke
1790K53 down. ^My sobs were compounded of salt and anguish. ^Huge,
1800K53 loud, racking sobs. ^*I reached the living room unaware of
1810K53 any movement on my part. ^My past-- hard, mean, and uncompromising,
1820K53 kept whipping me into further heaves of despair. ^My life!*#
        **[no. of words = 02008**]

        **[txt. k54**]
0010K54 **<*3The Exorcism*0**>
0020K54 $*3^IN*0 the state of Kerala, between the two busy and fairly prosperous
0030K54 trading centres of Ernakulam and Alwaye, lies the sleepy little
0040K54 hamlet of Edappilly. ^In the early 1950s, when the incident I am going
0050K54 to_ narrate took place, its straggling little community consisted mostly
0060K54 of Hindu Malayalees, ranging from Namboodiris (Malayalee *4brahmins)
0070K54 to Nairs, with various castes and sub-castes ranging in graded degrees
0080K54 of importance between them. ^There were also a few outsiders-- Tamil
0090K54 *4brahmins. ^They were a highly orthodox group, marrying off their daughters
0100K54 at the age of 10 and 12. ^A girl had to_ be married off before she
0110K54 was mature or else slanderous tongues would start wagging about 'house-filling'
0120K54 females. $^So it was that Balamani Ammal found herself without
0130K54 a house of her own and with no money and no male protector at home
0140K54 after the death of her husband. ^The fine, brick-and-concrete house in
0150K54 which she had lived for many years had to_ be sold off soon after her
0160K54 husband*'s death to_ marry off the elder daughter. ^The elder son found
0170K54 himself a job in the distant city of Madras. ^The poor widow moved into
0180K54 a mud hut and lived on the \0Rs. 40 sent by her son-- paid her rent,
0190K54 bought food and clothing, paid for the education of the younger son and
0200K54 daughter and even saved up a few *4rupees for the emergency of bringing
0210K54 forth the first baby of her married daughter. $^It was in this none-too-enviable
0220K54 position that we found Balamani Ammal and family when we moved
0230K54 into a house close to them. ^Father was in government service as middle
0240K54 school teacher and he had been transferred to the school at Edappilly.
0250K54 ^And soon after moving into the neighbourhood, my parents, do-gooders
0260K54 both, took the hapless family of Balamani Ammal under their protection,
0270K54 though goodness knows we were not rich, not even well-to-do. $^*Balamani
0280K54 Ammal then in her late 30s, was a short brown-skinned woman
0290K54 tending to plumpness. ^Her hair had been completely shaven off, widow-style,
0300K54 and she wore dull grey or ochre-red robes passing the end of her
0310K54 nine-yard sari modestly over her shaven head. ^She had a plain, heavy
0320K54 face devoid of any claims to beauty, but there was something about it that_
0330K54 spoke of good breeding and womanly modesty. $^There was a public tank
0340K54 some distance away from where we lived. ^It was just a gigantic bowl-shaped
0350K54 pit, scooped out of the powdery sand with pieces of logs fixed
0360K54 here and there to_ serve as steps. ^It was Balamani Ammal*'s custom to_
0370K54 go to this public tank to_ bathe after finishing her morning round.
0380K54 $^It was a Friday. ^*Balamani Ammal had the additional work of redoing
0390K54 the floors of her four rooms with cowdung and powdered charcoal. ^It
0400K54 was nearly 12 when she had finally scraped off the excess cowdung from
0410K54 her back verandah with the sharp edge of a piece of the pod of an arecanut
0420K54 frond. $^Father had just come home for the midday break when Kaveri
0430K54 and Krishnan bore down on us yelling and screaming, "^O *4mama, *4mami,
0440K54 come and see what *4amma is doing." ^Father was seated on a raised
0450K54 plank of wood with a stainless steel plate in front, full of rice and
0460K54 curries. "^You finish your meal," mum said "I*'3ll go and see what is
0470K54 wrong. $^The sight that_ met her eyes was shocking beyond description.
0480K54 ^*Balamani Ammal sat on the side of her narrow front verandah, swinging
0490K54 her legs with tomboyish abandon. ^She was dripping water and her stare
0500K54 was vacant but bold. ^As mother approached her, she broke out into uncontrollable
0510K54 laughter and bellowed. "^Hey, Raman Nair." ^Then, as the
0520K54 poor children and mother watched in agonised horror, Balamani Ammal
0530K54 jumped down onto the front yard pretended to_ tie up her shaven hair into
0540K54 a coquettish knot and plucked a bunch of exotic jasmines to_ put around
0550K54 it. ^Her swarthy lips were humming an old bawdy folk song in Malayalam--
0560K54 all about Nairs and namboodiris in heat, in mad frenzied pursuit
0570K54 of voluptuous Nair women. ^Soon the song grew louder and Balamani Ammal
0580K54 broke into a *5kai kottikkali*6, a folk dance of Malayalee women,
0590K54 literally a dance with clapping of hands, to_ suit its rhythm. ^Her stout
0600K54 body, with its swollen leg, moved through its twists and turns and
0610K54 gyrations with lyrical grace and the gnarled and knotted hands looked almost
0620K54 lovely as they fell limply on each other. ^The voice that_ sang the
0630K54 bawdy songs was sweet and musical, though Balamani Ammal had never
0640K54 been known to_ have had any music in her. ^As the song and dance proceeded
0650K54 and grew in tempo, Balamani Ammal grew from coquettish to flirtatious,
0660K54 from flirtatious to voluptuous in her gesticulations and behaviour.
0670K54 $^Meanwhile, a crowd had gathered silently around. $^Father said to
0680K54 mother, "^You get help and lock her up in a room. ^*I shall bring the
0690K54 *4vaidyan along when I come back from school." $^The *4vaidyan, Ashan,
0700K54 nodded the small grey tuft on top of his head dubiously. "^*I can*'4t
0710K54 say if it is a case for the *4thantri or me. ^Anyway, I shall make the
0720K54 first try." $^He poked his lean stooping figure into Balamani Ammal*'s
0730K54 room and peered at her over his thick glasses. ^*Balamani Ammal sat
0740K54 on the bare floor in a corner, singing sweetly to herself and smiling occasionally.
0750K54 ^At the sight of Ashan, she threw her head to one side and
0760K54 met him with a silvery peel of seductive laughter. ^Then, suddenly changing
0770K54 her mind, she bore down on him like an infuriated sow, yelling,
0780K54 "^Hey, Ramettal" (Rametta means 'elder brother Raman'). $^*Ashan drew
0790K54 his tufted head back in a hurry and bolted the door, a look of visible
0800K54 worry on his lined face. $"^You had better see the *4thantri. ^This is
0810K54 something beyond my skill." $^*Kaveri stopped her studies in which she was,
0820K54 in any case, not interested. ^She knew she was to_ be married off
0830K54 to_ keep house for a young man of her dreams. ^But Krishnan was a boy,
0840K54 a bread-earner. ^So he was sent to school. $^*Ponnamma was with child
0850K54 and so her parents-in-law would not send her to_ visit her mother. ^*Mani
0860K54 wrote to_ say he could not come down immediately; he would try and
0870K54 get leave within a month or so. ^He was sending \0Rs. 100, but, "mind
0880K54 you," he warned, "the money has been borrowed and my future remittance
0890K54 may be affected. ^Be careful when spending it." ^So the task of looking
0900K54 after Balamani Ammal was shoved back on to my parents. $^The *4thantri
0910K54 was a stalwart man in his early 50s, dark or even black from top to
0920K54 toe. ^His head was completely shaven except for a thick patch in the middle,
0930K54 which he grew into a tuft and tied up in a black knot. ^He had a
0940K54 hawk-like nose and piercing eagle eyes. ^He listened to father*'s story
0950K54 carefully and promised to_ come next Friday. $^Next Friday afternoon,
0960K54 all of us were present to_ see the *4thantri perform his *4prasnam to_
0970K54 determine the nature of the problem. $"^The problem has come from the
0980K54 east," he said, holding a sprig of *4tulsi between his thumb and forefinger
0990K54 and fixing his piercing eyes on father. "^The evil spirit is of a
1000K54 young woman who died in this same tank 77 years ago. ^She was very attractive,
1010K54 and belonged to a good family but was a victim of jilted love
1020K54 and took her own life. ^She is still full of love, alternating with fits
1030K54 of mad thirst for revenge against the offending lover. ^That_ is why
1040K54 she has to_ wander about like this without finding salvation. ^Her desires
1050K54 hold her down to the earth without letting her drop her astral body
1060K54 and go to the next stage." $"^We shall fix up a *5devi puja*6 for next
1070K54 Friday," said the *4thantri. $"^You can take down a list of things required.
1080K54 ^With the help of the goddess, we shall drive away this spirit.
1090K54 ^*I shall keep her at bay for 41 days in the first instance and then we
1100K54 can have another *4puja and a *4homam. ^That_ will exorcise her once and
1110K54 for all." $^Father nodded gravely and asked us to_ bring pencil and paper
1120K54 to_ write down the list. $^Mother had slept in Balamani Ammal*'s
1130K54 house ever since the calamity had struck. ^On Thursday night, more tired
1140K54 out than usual, mother went off to sleep early. ^The Ganapathy *4homam
1150K54 (the sacrifice for Lord Ganapathy) is performed in the early hours
1160K54 of the morning. ^Mother wanted to_ get up at three o*'3clock, so she
1170K54 might get things ready for the *4puja which would start at four. ^As a
1180K54 matter of habit she went and peeped into Balamani Ammal*'s room. ^*Balamani
1190K54 Ammal was not there! ^Wondering where she might have gone, mother
1200K54 made bold to_ enter the room, expecting Balamani Ammal to_ pounce on
1210K54 her from some dark corner. ^But there was no sign of the patient anywhere.
1220K54 ^Taking the hurricane lantern in her hand, mother went up and down
1230K54 the whole place and all round the house. ^The light drizzle outside was
1240K54 deepening into a heavy shower. ^Mother struggled to_ force down her rising
1250K54 panic. ^Then, through the rain and dark, she came running to our
1260K54 house to_ call father. $^Father grunted in irritation but got up immediately.
1270K54 ^Where was he to_ go at three o*'3clock in the morning in the pouring
1280K54 rain looking for this woman? ^How could a man go alone looking for
1290K54 a women and a widow at that_? $^The answer came from the neighbouring
1300K54 house, where the bronze lamp for prayer had already been lit. "^*Narayana,
1310K54 narayana". ^The elderly Ambalavasi couple in the neighbourhood were
1320K54 already up. ^They did not wait to_ hear the full story from father. ^The
1330K54 woman dropped the broom with which she was sweeping and washed her
1340K54 hands. ^The man drew out two old and discoloured bathing towels from the
1350K54 clothesline and threw one on his wife*'s head and one on his own. ^They
1360K54 were ready to_ accompany father. ^They found Balamani Ammal seated
1370K54 near the public tank, making frenzted efforts to_ pull out her breasts.
1380K54 $^All of us were dragged out of bed to_ be bathed and ready for the *4puja
1390K54 by five o*'3clock. ^The *4thantri, fresh from a bath and wearing a
1400K54 new *4mundu, with its two lower ends drawn between the legs and tucked
1410K54 at the back, sat on a raised plank ready for the *4homam. $^The *4puja
1420K54 started at three o*'3clock in the afternoon and went on late into the night.
1430K54 ^There was no sacrificial fire this time, but there were three big
1440K54 bronze lamps lighted. ^Behind the middle lamp was a large framed picture
1450K54 of the goddess Durga in her infuriated aspect, out for the destruction
1460K54 of evil. ^A yellow thread was tied round the middle lamp and a short
1470K54 dagger-shaped knife was placed in front of the lamp. $^The *4thantri began
1480K54 with the usual prayer of self-purification. ^Then chanting glory to
1490K54 each of the 10,008 names of the goddess, he offered flowers at the feet
1500K54 of the lighted lamps at the end of each line. ^When all the 10,008 names
1510K54 had been chanted once, an offering was made. ^This round of rites was
1520K54 repeated seven times, with a different offering at the end of each round.
1530K54 ^There was an *4arthi at the end of each, with an invocation to the
1540K54 goddess, the destroyer of evil, to_ invest the knife and the thread with
1550K54 her own power, so he, her servant might, with her divine will and blessing,
1560K54 carry out the task of driving away the spirit that_ possessed
1570K54 the poor Balamani Ammal. $^The prayers and rites went on till 11 in
1580K54 the night. ^But when the *4puja proper was over, father ordered us out
1590K54 of the room. ^The spirit, in its forced and frenzied exit from one body
1600K54 might try to_ find asylum in some other body, especially that_ of a
1610K54 sensitive person. ^So only my parents and a few Ambalavasis were present
1620K54 at the great moment.*#
        **[no. of words = 02011**]

        **[txt. k55**]
0010K55 **<*3Remembrance*0**> $*3^THE*0 lunchbox! ^Forgotten completely!
0020K55 ^Wouldn*'4t matter if it were the lunchbox alone. ^The lunch
0030K55 can be wrapped in a piece of paper tomorrow. ^Her fingers, so
0040K55 used to the slippery, circular stainless-steel lunchbox would
0041K55 feel differently. ^They would gratefully clutch the soft paper-wrapped
0050K55 packet. ^None of the metalness of the box. ^The wrapping
0060K55 paper could be a sheet from an old issue of The Hindu.
0070K55 ^Or the launderer*'s paper bag. ^Or a page from a Telugu or
0080K55 Malayalam daily, still smelling of the asafoetida or cumin the
0090K55 grocer wrapped in it last time. ^Could bind the packet with
0100K55 some twine; or a rubber-band lying hidden among hairpins and gap-toothed
0110K55 combs. $^A lunch-packet instead of the lunchbox. ^It
0120K55 was bound to_ raise some fun in the bus and at the office.
0130K55 ^Good, nice fun. ^What about those faces encountered only in the
0140K55 bus, the faces sticking in the memory as belonging to a certain
0150K55 shirt and a certain pair of trousers all the time? ^How
0160K55 many of those would notice the change? ^There should be a few
0170K55 keeping track of other*'s changing nailpolish or snapped sandals
0180K55 or the watch-strap switching colours. ^They would know the
0190K55 replacement of the lunchbox with a lunch-packet. $^The thrill
0200K55 of getting all this attention was well worth the lunchbox left
0210K55 behind in the office. ^But the box contained a wrist-watch.
0220K55 ^Not hers, but her younger sister*'s. ^Just got back from the
0230K55 watch repairer. ^With the watch was also some money. ^Money
0240K55 keeps missing in the office. $^Someone had left his pay-packet
0250K55 in the table drawer for a little while and a good part of
0260K55 the amount was gone. ^Another lost a tiffin-carrier he had kept
0270K55 in his scooter basket. ^There was someone there with overlong
0280K55 hands. ^Mighty men had exploded in the office, 'I*'3m going
0290K55 to_ raise hell! ^The long blades of the ceiling fans, the simpering
0300K55 bluish glow of the tube lights, the olive-green steel *4almirahs,
0310K55 fat calico-bound ledgers-- they had all seemed to_ tremble
0320K55 at the imprecations screamed, but those overlong hands had
0330K55 gone untraced. ^Now those hands shouldn*'4t reach out for her
0340K55 lunchbox. ^She must go and get it back at once. ^At once?
0350K55 ^Isn*'4t it already two or three hours too late? $^She and Uma
0360K55 had set out at five in the afternoon. ^In their delight
0370K55 at the doctor*'s observation that Uma was all right for being
0380K55 six months in the family way, they lingered looking at the
0390K55 pictures of chubby smiling babies on the walls, took leave privately
0400K55 of a nurse who looked like a cross between a mother and
0410K55 a sister, then got lost in the small piles of fabrics heaped
0420K55 on the sidewalks, visited the medical store for some tablets,
0430K55 then scampered for shelter with the sudden burst of shower
0440K55 putting off buying some of the fluffy beans going rather cheap, and at
0450K55 last succeeded in getting an auto-rickshaw for Uma-- all this had indeed
0460K55 taken a long, long time. $^But can*'4t say too long. ^Just didn*'4t
0470K55 know how time flew. ^One could spend hours with Uma, one of the three
0480K55 girls working in that_ enormous office. ^*Uma knew to_ love without
0490K55 being wordy. ^She gave me her copy of the "*3Weekly"-- won*'4t you
0500K55 want to_ read this? ^No, she won*'4t. ^But still she took it from Uma.
0510K55 ^The magazine smelt fresh and new, its pages not yet turned over. ^Long
0520K55 afterwards, rolling the magazine to_ make it compact, she thought of
0530K55 the lunchbox. $^She was used to carrying magazines and lunchbox together,
0540K55 one snuggled into the other, and so the holding of a bare magazine
0550K55 gave her an odd feeling. ^In a moment of deprivation, as when looking
0560K55 at a spot just cleared of a tree, the thought of the lunchbox occurred.
0570K55 ^Then in a flash, the lunch-box, the wristwatch, cash, all at once. $^Why
0580K55 didn*'4t it strike her before boarding the bus? ^The bus came in the
0590K55 rain, with all flaps down, as though being chased, and it seemed to_
0600K55 growl at her, get in quick without getting drenched, and that_ she did
0610K55 hurriedly. ^Get into a bus in a flurry and the lunchbox was sure to_
0620K55 knock against the shiny chromium-plated seat. ^It didn*'4t today and so
0630K55 she remembered. $"^My..." she gasped. ^She bit her tongue for exclaiming
0640K55 aloud. ^Let me get down at the next stop... ^Even as she decided
0650K55 to_ do so, the bus speeded past the next stop, splashing water all the
0660K55 way. ^At least the next stop... ^She looked for the conductor. ^He
0670K55 was far away, up in the front. $^The bus, 58 seats and 25 standees long,
0680K55 the conductor right in the front and she in the very last row, looking
0690K55 down the entire length of the bus. ^There were no standing passengers
0700K55 at that_ time and the passengers looked like an audience in a cinema
0710K55 hall or a gathering at a wedding reception. ^It was nice not having to_
0720K55 squeeze herself into the bus. ^It felt like going on a journey with
0730K55 some 50 or 60 intimately known folks. ^Even the dull yellow glow of the
0740K55 lights inside didn*'4t seem too offending. ^She could read all the letters
0750K55 and names scratched on the backs of the seats. ^Would someone have
0760K55 scrawled her name too on the mellow green surface of a seat in the days
0770K55 when she was still at college? ^The thought made her chuckle. ^How
0780K55 was one to_ be sure that all the names and letters now scratched on these
0790K55 seat-backs belonged only to boys and girls at college? ^Could be of
0800K55 grown-ups too, men with a tangle of hair around the wrist, men in
0810K55 employment. ^If she pulled out a pin from her hair, she could scratch a
0820K55 letter or two on the seat right in front of her. $^Someone sat beside
0830K55 her, with an enormous load of fragrant flowers on her head. ^A fragrance
0840K55 so becoming of the rainy season. ^A fragrance mingled with dampness.
0850K55 ^The conductor came all the way along the gangway and, as he tore out a
0860K55 ticket for the new passenger, he inquired for hers too, as though she
0870K55 had boarded anew, and before she unfurled the orangish bit of paper in
0880K55 her hand, he realised she had already got her ticket and he walked away
0890K55 with a smile. ^A conductor who smiled, one who didn*'4t keep shouting
0900K55 for tickets, one who wouldn*'4t keep on bullying the standees to_ move
0910K55 forward in the bus... she thought, why get down midway, why not go the
0920K55 entire distance and return in the same bus? $^She had to_ call out
0930K55 to_ have the bus stop at the office. ^In the mornings, with all the crowds
0940K55 travelling, there would be at least 10 people getting down at that_
0950K55 place. ^The conductor would announce the stop and order the passengers
0960K55 to_ alight. ^The driver would be clutching the steering wheel impatiently
0970K55 for the last man to_ get off. ^But now the bus stopped just for
0980K55 her. ^As though to_ take advantage of the bus halting, a factory worker
0990K55 at the stop threw away his *4beedi and boarded the bus. ^She saw the
1000K55 crimson glow of the discarded *4beedi roll on the ground. $^Across the
1010K55 street, up there, dazzled the neon-sign of her office. ^She had noticed
1020K55 it on occasion, when returning home from a visit to the cinema. ^The
1030K55 sign had a cool bluish image, like sunset following a rainy afternoon.
1040K55 ^Would the lunchbox be there in the office? ^Even if it were, would the
1050K55 other things also be there? ^She had rushed to the place, holding her
1060K55 breath at the late hour of eight-thirty-- would it be worth all the trouble?
1070K55 $^The gate was not locked. ^Would screech awkwardly only when
1080K55 pushed gently. ^The steel hook raised a clang. ^As she entered the premises,
1090K55 with her tongue thrust between her teeth, she could see the light
1100K55 burning in the main hall. ^The front doors were locked, all three of
1110K55 them. ^Tall doors with shiny brass patches, looking so enchanting on
1120K55 places where the light fell. ^Doors so tall and massive-- all these days
1130K55 she hadn*'4t as much as looked at them; always dashed in pulling her
1140K55 *4sari close over her shoulders, or hastily exchanging a few words with
1150K55 Uma or the other girl, and hurrying in to_ sign the attendance
1160K55 register... $^*I can go round the building and enter through the back
1170K55 door, she thought. ^There was the car park on the left side. ^The scooters
1180K55 on the right side. ^But right now the whole place was clean and
1190K55 clear like a temple corridor. ^From somewhere came a faint fragrance of
1200K55 a tree. ^Could be a *4sirissa tree. ^The unbrella-like *4gulmohur
1210K55 flowers don*'4t have any fragrance. ^They possess a fantastic colour
1220K55 though. ^Colour is their fragrance. ^Somehow these things escape the
1230K55 eye during daytime. $^The despatching section smelt of sealing wax and
1240K55 spirit lamp and bottles of gum; there was a humid scent from the records
1250K55 section; then the smell that_ wafted out when the head-clerk pulled
1260K55 his drawer and opened his ink-bottle-- with all these smells, there was
1270K55 now the fragrance of a flower also! $^There was an open courtyard
1280K55 between the main office room and the dining hall. ^And there was the
1290K55 sky to_ see. ^Cleared of all the rain. ^Like a bird that_ had shaken
1300K55 off all the wet from its feathers. ^No stars. ^Somewhere in a corner,
1310K55 the moon flickered, like a defaced circle on a child*'s writing slate.
1320K55 $^She stood there feeling she had been rolled into a sphere, secure
1330K55 under the all-encompassing feathers of darkness. ^How long since had
1340K55 she taken a good look at the sky? ^She could never think of the sky and
1350K55 its blue during daytime. ^Always numbers. ^Addition, subtraction, credit,
1360K55 debit, product, and so on and on and on and the sky was never
1370K55 anywhere near her mind. $^The watchman*'s bicycle stood in the verandah.
1380K55 ^Very tidily wiped, very tidily used. ^No dust, no mud-smear. ^Unlike
1390K55 father*'s bicycle which always had a dirty wiping cloth stuffed underneath
1400K55 the seat. ^But the watchman*'s wasn*'4t as nice to_ look at as the
1410K55 bunch of bicycles parked in the mornings. ^There wasn*'4t now the
1420K55 rhythm of the hurried downward swinging of the legs between a quarter to
1430K55 10 and 10 o*'3clock, alighting from the bicycles and seeking out a proper
1440K55 place to_ park the vehicles. ^But this lone bicycle was charming
1450K55 too. ^A different kind of charm. ^Something like a single temple elephant,
1460K55 a chain around its leg, a pile of palm leaves in front of it, its head
1470K55 decorated with flowers and the religious smear-mark. $^The watchman
1480K55 sat on a stool in the row of doors at the back. ^A torchlight stood
1490K55 upright near him on the floor, a gun leaning against the wall. ^He stood
1500K55 up on seeing her. ^He saluted her. ^He smiled. ^He held a book in his
1510K55 hand. ^She told him. $"^Is that so?" he asked. $^It actually sounded
1520K55 like, "^My god! ^Hurry up and see!" $^Hers was the last seat on the
1530K55 left. ^The hall was already too full of tables and chairs when talk came
1540K55 up of another section. ^They accommodated it in the corridor. ^If she
1550K55 had entered the building from the other side, her seat would be right
1560K55 in the front, but now it was at the very end. $^She stood vaguely aghast
1570K55 in the middle of the hall. ^Daytime saw all the lights and fans switched
1580K55 on but now there were only two flickering tube-lights. ^None of the
1590K55 bustle of a hundred people. ^No shouts. ^No scraping screech of the
1600K55 records room trolley. ^No thuds of dropped ledgers. ^No noise of rubber
1601K55 stamps. ^No shuffling of feet and shoes.
1610K55 ^No screaming exchanges of office jargon across tables, those
1620K55 men not bothering to_ move out of their seats. ^Now it was like, standing
1630K55 on the banks of a quietly flowing water. ^Has she really been
1640K55 working in such a lovely place all these days? $^There were numerous oblong
1650K55 blocks of chairs and tables and *4almirahs, standing around her in
1660K55 silence.*#
        **[no. of words = 02012**]

        **[txt.k56**]
0010K56 **<*3A Trip to Pakistan*0**> $*3^IT*0 seems quite strange to me
0020K56 now, this adventure. ^Almost a dream, a dream full of joy and sorrow,
0030K56 bitterness and wonderment. ^*I cannot believe it; nor do I dare tell my
0040K56 people what has happened. ^When I seem to_ have a far-away look,
0050K56 they can*'4t understand. ^Adolescence! ^That_ is their diagnosis, and
0060K56 their cure is time and love. ^If my mother were living, I could tell her
0070K56 and unburden myself. ^But could I? ^Would I have dared to_ cast
0080K56 the shadow of sadness on her? ^And yet I must tell it to somebody.
0090K56 $^Three months ago, as I stood in a class smiling foolishly at the
0100K56 cheers around me, I thought I was the happiest, luckiest girl alive.
0110K56 ^All the colleges in South India had competed for a place in a student
0120K56 exchange programme. ^*I had won the place and now looked forward to a
0130K56 dizzy month of air-flights, new places and of course the inevitable
0140K56 shopping. ^*I had been selected for a visit to Pakistan. ^*I was to_ tour
0150K56 a few select colleges and observe life there, even as my Pakistani
0160K56 counterpart would tour some colleges here. ^This was the last year of
0170K56 my teenage and life seemed full of joy and laughter. $^How shall I describe
0180K56 my first aerial flight? ^The farewells to my numerous friends who
0181K56 were a mass of swaying kerchiefs near the fence at Menambakkam. ^Most
0190K56 of them were Madrasis and it was a pleasure to_ know that they were so
0200K56 friendly with a girl from the Punjab. ^*I am a Punjabi, but my parents
0210K56 had settled down in Madras for nearly two decades. ^*I looked a
0220K56 Madrasi in my dress, my complexion and even my speech. ^*I waved them
0230K56 goodbye and settled down in my seat. ^The plane rose like a happy bird
0240K56 and I patted my face with the scented kerchief that_ the hostess gave
0250K56 me. ^There was a change at Palam, and soon I was racing towards Pakistan.
0260K56 $^My first impression was: ^How different from India! ^Of course
0270K56 the veiled ladies were the first to_ catch my eye itching to_ note the
0280K56 differences. ^The dress and the bearing of men were somewhat unfamiliar
0290K56 too-- but then I was no doubt struck by this because I hadn*'4t seen
0300K56 my own Punjab! $^Soon the strangeness vanished and I found that Pakistan
0310K56 was the same as India as far as the common man was concerned.
0320K56 ^My hosts were pleasant. ^*I was the guest of many families, mostly belonging
0330K56 to the middle class. ^My month was coming to a close. ^The last
0340K56 college in my itinerary was in \0R-- district and here my accommodation
0350K56 had been arranged in the palatial residence of a local landowner whose
0360K56 daughter was also a student. ^*Saleema was my age, and since we were both
0370K56 students of history, we formed a strong bond of friendship. ^Daily we
0380K56 would go to the college in the morning. ^*I would either attend a class
0390K56 or take part in a seminar specially arranged for me. ^This went on
0400K56 for four days. ^The fifth was my last day there, and it was noon when Saleema
0410K56 and myself returned home after a farewell tea at the college. ^It
0420K56 was suffocatingly hot, and on Saleema*'s suggestion we both set out
0430K56 on a short walk in the vast acres surrounding the palace. ^Some parts
0440K56 had been cordoned off for citrus and orange plantations; the rest of
0450K56 the land was dotted with small houses. ^Some of them were dilapidated.
0460K56 ^*I was attracted by a neat white building, for it seemed a recent addition--
0470K56 perhaps ten or fifteen years had elapsed since it was built whereas
0480K56 the palace and its main outhouses must have seen eight or nine decades.
0490K56 ^As we were passing that_ house I saw a middle-aged lady lounging
0500K56 in an easy chair and doing some embroidery. ^One or two books lay beside
0510K56 her chair. ^There was an air of serenity about her. ^She hadn*'4t
0520K56 veiled her face as I had seen ladies do here. $^*Saleema must have noticed
0530K56 my repeated glances, for she said; "^Oh, that*'1s my Indian aunt".
0540K56 "^What do you mean, Indian aunt?" ^*I said, "^Would you like to_ meet
0550K56 her? ^*Saleema asked. "^Of course", I replied. ^So we both went up to
0560K56 her. ^She glanced up. ^A gentle smile lighted up her face, "^*Saleema,
0570K56 *4bete, I haven*'4t seen you for ages. ^Come dear. ^Is this your friend?"
0580K56 ^While speaking she motioned us to two small chairs that_ were near
0590K56 her. "^Not ages aunty. ^Only five days. ^Because of this friend from
0600K56 India", said Saleema and introduced me to her. ^It was only then that
0610K56 the lady saw me face to face. ^She seemed to_ register some shock but
0620K56 quickly she controlled herself. ^"so your name is Latha? ^May evil never
0630K56 come near you," she sighed. ^*I bowed. ^*Saleema said, "^Aunty, I
0640K56 see that you are happy to_ meet Latha, probably the first person from
0650K56 your land you are meeting after many, many years. ^*I think you would
0660K56 like to_ have her to yourself for a while. ^*I will go and have a game
0670K56 of tennis." $"^*I know who is waiting for you there. ^Don*'4t blush,
0680K56 and hurry up", the lady smiled, Saleema blushed and vanished. $^It was
0690K56 rather awkward for me to_ have been left with this strange lady and my
0700K56 mind had already raced to the last-minute packing I had to_ do. ^*I
0710K56 sat there still, watching a goat that_ was chewing a leaf and wondering
0720K56 what I would buy for my daddy from this place. $^Suddenly the lady*'s
0730K56 voice broke upon my thoughts. "^Ah, you are thinking of your place and
0740K56 your people. ^Soon you will be with them. ^You are a lucky child".
0750K56 ^Did the lady sigh again? ^Probably it was my imagination. "^From which
0760K56 part of India do you come, child?" she asked. ^*I replied, "Madras".
0770K56 "^You are a Madrasi then?" ^Did I resent her probings in my subconscious
0780K56 or was it just the environmental effect? ^*I answered automatically,
0790K56 "^Yes". "^Ah a Madrasi. ^Yes my child, no wonder you are lucky.
0800K56 ^Aren*'4t all Madrasis lucky, comfortable and far away from the tragedies
0810K55 of the frontier?" ^*I didn*'4t know what to_ say to this. ^The lady
0820K56 went on. "^May evil never befall you, my child. ^And when you return to
0830K56 India never be lured to a frontier area. ^*Saleema will be away for an
0840K56 hour. ^Shall I tell you a story to_ spend the time?" $^She started
0850K56 on her fourth rose in the bunch of tiny flowers she was embroidering.
0860K56 ^It seemed the gilding of a *4duppattah. ^*I nodded, and she began: $"^Once
0870K56 upon a time there was a country called Bharat Mata. ^People said
0880K56 that red foreigners were ravishing her and that she was chained and shackled
0890K56 and so she should be freed. ^Like Saleema you study history, so
0900K56 perhaps you know all about it. ^She has talked to me so much about you
0910K56 and your likes. ^She is very proud of having a foreign friend like you.
0920K56 ^Now where was, I... yes. ^There was a happy family. ^The parents
0930K56 were loving and the two daughters, Suvarnalatha and Ashalatha, had all
0940K56 that_ they desired. ^The elder was married to a doctor and had come
0950K56 to her parents*' home for her confinement. $^Partition-- my child, my
0960K56 *4bete, how much blood flowed! ^Today you and Saleema walking towards
0970K56 me together, laughing in abandon-- but those days!". ^The lady jabbed
0980K56 at a rose and the rose became awry. ^Immediately she cut out the red threads
0990K56 and began carefully reembroidering the space. ^This process must
1000K56 have enabled her to_ control her emotion. ^Without looking up she went
1010K56 on: $"^Where was I? ^Yes the partition. ^The father didn*'4t return in
1020K56 the evening and the mother who had gone to the other part of town also
1030K56 didn*'4t return. ^The two girls were in the house and right around it
1040K56 raged hell. ^Soon the ruffians were outside the door. ^You don*'4t read
1050K56 that_ in history. ^History is all lies. ^They dare not write the truth.
1060K56 ^Oh god, god, where were you then? ^*Suvarna was pale and the burden
1070K56 was heavy. ^But Asha was always the leader. ^There was a fierce argument.
1080K56 ^One of them must be saved-- but who should be the sacrifice? ^*Suvarna
1090K56 would not accept Asha*'s proposal for she was a virgin with all her
1100K56 life before her. ^But Asha was determined. ^*Suvarna was with child,
1110K56 and Vikram must not lose his wife and child. ^No, Asha should be the
1120K56 sacrifice. ^*Suvarna wouldn*'4t give up. ^But Nature helped Asha, ^Just
1130K56 then the 'burden' started moving and Suvarna swooned. ^Heaven-sent
1140K56 opportunity or hell-sent? ^*Asha quickly dragged the prostrate Suvarna
1150K56 and locked her in a room, covering her with all that_ she could get hold
1160K56 of-- rags, pieces of firewood and even blocks of coal. ^There was but
1170K56 breathing space for the lips, should she come out of the swoon. ^And
1180K56 after her exertions she was ready with the kerosene tin, in the front room.
1190K56 ^But-- these buts in life! $^The front door gave way just then and
1200K56 in came a ravenous group. ^My child, may such evil never befall anybody
1210K56 in this world any time! $^Bloodshot eyes were looking into hers and the
1220K56 words scorched her along with his rough hands-- "^They did this to my
1240K56 young wife yesterday and you must repay." ^The leader was given the girl
1250K56 and he had her in his grip and led her out into the twilight of a
1260K56 vanishing day. ^Did she hear a water-thin voice calling for Asha? ^No,
1270K56 it was but the harmless wind. ^She was soon dragged into a big car and
1280K56 when she woke up she was in a strange room, in a strange bed with a stranger
1290K56 beside her. ^It was the leader and he was sleeping peacefully. ^Peace!
1300K56 $^*Asha*'s world was gone. ^*Suvarna*'s teasing of Asha*'s bridal
1310K56 veil and *4mehndi *4haath-- ^No, no more for her! ^How could cold words
1320K56 convey the anguish in her heart? ^My child, may your days never darken
1330K56 like those days of Asha! $^Having destroyed her, the stranger had come
1340K56 to his senses and was pleading with her for her forgiveness. ^True,
1350K56 his wife could not come back from the dead. ^He had been maddened for
1360K56 the moment. ^But let that_ pass. ^This young woman was living. ^Could
1370K56 she not marry him and be a mother to his child of two months? ^Or would
1380K56 she like to_ go back to her people? ^Should he contact the refugee
1390K56 organisations? ^He had money, he had political power. ^So the dialogue between
1400K56 the two went on, and there seemed no end to it. ^No, she couldn
1410K56 *'4t be his wife. ^Having burst into his house in this violent manner,
1420K56 it would do no good to her soul. ^Nor could she go back. ^What was there
1430K56 to_ go back to? ^Far better that her people think of her in a loving
1440K56 heroic self-sacrificial stand. ^The best was to_ die. ^A dagger, a cup
1450K56 or kerosene. ^He wouldn*'4t have that, and she must assure him that
1460K56 she would live. ^Was he not repenting? ^Must she overburden him with another
1470K56 sin? ^She assured him that she would live but live alone with her
1480K56 memories. ^Time was a great healer and she might come to_ love his child
1490K56 as her own. ^He wouldn*'4t marry again and would remain celibate all
1500K56 his life. ^Rather a tame ending to my story, isn*'4t it, child? ^Not romantic
1510K56 at all. ^But such individual acts must atone for the sins of the
1520K56 multitude. ^And so the young man and woman lived apart in the same
1530K56 world, and time healed the wounds somewhat. $^My child, do you think
1540K56 they were foolish? ^Or that Asha was a coward? ^Should she have committed
1550K56 suicide? ^How could she, when true repentance stayed her hands?
1560K56 ^And when love came to her in the guise of a strange baby?" $^*I had
1570K56 actually been noticing her deft fingers embroidering that_ fourth red
1580K56 rose as I didn*'4t wish to_ embarrass her by staring at her face.
1590K56 ^Suddenly the red rose changed colour.*#
        **[no. of words = 02019**]

        **[txt. k57**]
0010K57 **<*3Back Seat*0**> $*3^MANU*0 was my cousin. $^Still, we grew up in
0020K57 the village more as friends than as relations. ^We played together a
0030K57 great deal, horsed about, quarelled, cried and made each other cry. ^A
0040K57 story as old as the hills.... $^Then, at some point, I started disliking
0050K57 the company of girls. ^This is old too.... Manu also hesitated
0060K57 to_ join the company of boys. ^Not as much as most girls do; still,
0070K57 she was becoming different. $^When a tomboy approaches adolescence, she
0080K57 becomes less of a tomboy. ^At any rate, she is made less of a tomboy.
0090K57 ^It is expected of her. ^The elders have ideas about a girl*'s 'femininity'.
0100K57 $^Then we grew further apart. ^*I reached man*'s estate and was
0110K57 sent to Bombay for further education. ^In subsequent years I had to_
0120K57 visit the old village off and on to_ see my folk, and on such occasions
0130K57 Manu would be seen somewhere or other. $^Years later I was told by
0140K57 people that even in the 'femininity' thrust upon her one could sometimes
0150K57 see the hussy. ^An unwonted boldness, even a touch of diablerie,
0160K57 would at times peep out from under her downcast eyes. ^The set of her
0170K57 mulish lips would suddenly speak a strange language; wordless, yet eloquent.
0180K57 $^*I suppose it must have been obvious to most people that Manu*'s
0190K57 'feminity' was only skin deep, but somehow I missed seeing it at the
0200K57 time. ^Maybe I saw it but it did not quite register because I wasn*'4t
0210K57 sufficiently interested. ^After all, she was my cousin. ^Moreover
0220K57 in Bombay, I was used to seeing colourful girls and some popular actresses--
0230K57 tarted up sirens beckoning tantalisingly from the silver screen.
0240K57 $^The glimpses into the delights of sin which they provided kept me
0250K57 happy. ^Soon Manu became not much more than a muffled memory. $^Apart
0260K57 from that_, it is also true that when you have played with a girl in
0270K57 your childhood, you cannot play with her in the same way in adulthood.
0280K57 ^The difference between play and play-- that*'1s what I call it. ^Adjustment
0290K57 to the change is slow and not easy. ^And then one fine day one
0300K57 sees the difference in a sudden flash of illumination. $^*I had a similar
0310K57 flash; a letter from Anna, Manu*'s father, triggered it. $^*Anna*'s
0320K57 letter brought startling news.... Manu has piled up mischief in the
0330K57 village.... matter gone far.... bringing her over.... have
0340K57 not slept for seven days.... propose to_ stay with you.... rest
0350K57 in person.... \0P.S. keep absolutely secret.... matter of family
0360K57 honour \0etc. $^It was all so strange and yet, somehow, expected too.
0370K57 ^With a flash of hindsight I recalled that Manu had been 'different'
0380K57 after all. ^A hussy, bold, rambunctious. ^The indications were all there.
0390K57 $^So Manu had gone and.... hmm! (^In our childhood games I used to_
0400K57 experience a strange, but not unpleasant sensation in slapping her buttocks).
0410K57 ^*I could hardly wait to_ hear the whole story. $^*I replied to
0420K57 Anna*'s letter with enthusiasm. $^*Manu came. ^That_ is to_ say, Anna
0430K57 came and someone came with him. ^By inference, I decided she must be
0440K57 Manu. ^She looked somewhat blowsy and shapeless, lack-lustre, dried up,
0450K57 mute. ^And sour too, as if something had curdled inside her. $^*I composed
0460K57 my lips into a ritual smile, but she did not smile back. ^*Anna looked
0470K57 as if he invited ridicule; a 'nature*'s natural' as I have heard
0480K57 someone say. $^So we came to my *4kholi in Girgaum. ^*I had taken pains
0490K57 to_ get it shipshape in honour of Manu*'s visit. ^After all, I had
0500K57 known her intimately in childhood. (^The 'childhood intimacy' motif was
0510K57 rearing its head....) ^Moreover, Manu had had an 'affair' and the affair
0520K57 business made her daringly different in my eyes. ^And, yes, good looking
0530K57 too.... a bit like one of those something-or-other *4devis from the
0540K57 cinmea.... vaguely, of course. $^*I personally made a cup of tea for
0550K57 Manu. ^Of course Anna got one too, but he qualified for it only by association
0560K57 as some of the political people say. $^*Manu swallowed the tea
0570K57 in one gulp. ^Like a dose of castor oil. ^Then she took the cup and saucer
0580K57 to the wash place down the passage. ^*I told her not to_ bother,
0590K57 but she did not seem to_ hear me. ^As if my presence had glanced off
0600K57 her awareness without making any impact. ^This was to_ become more noticeable
0610K57 as time went on. $^Meanwhile Anna, between loud and appreciative
0620K57 sips, was narrating the 'story' in some detail. ^It was the umpteenth
0630K57 rerun of an ancient story. $^When the story was finished Manu came
0640K57 back. ^Of course she had come back earlier, but had immediately gone
0650K57 out to the verandah and stood with her back to us, bent low over the railing
0660K57 and engrossed in watching the passing show in the street below.
0661K57 ^Running
0670K57 buses. ^Speeding cars. ^Blaring horns. ^Hurrying men and women. ^Screaming
0680K57 vendors. ^All this would naturally be new to a person newly arrived
0690K57 from a village. ^But Manu watched the scene with the deep engrossment
0700K57 of a child. $^Perhaps it was for this reason that Manu, with her
0710K57 back to us, seemed to me to_ be getting smaller and smaller. ^Regressing
0720K57 into childhood is, I believe, the expression for the phenomenon. $^From
0730K57 the next day we started our wanderings. ^*Manu had to_ be 'rescued'.
0740K57 ^*I was a novice to the whole business; hearing about such things is
0750K57 one thing and getting them done is another. ^Fortunately, our efforts--
0760K57 Anna*'s efforts, that_ is-- were blessed with success without too
0770K57 much delay. ^The place and the person were located, and the day fixed.
0780K57 ^*Anna was delighted. ^In fact, he felt so light that on our way home he
0790K57 suddenly dived into Kulkarni*'s hotel, declaring his intention to eat
0800K57 a dish of *4misal. ^That left Manu, and, of course, me. ^We walked the
0810K57 rest of the way in silence. $^Back in my room, I thought I would
0820K57 cheer up Manu a bit with bright conversation. ^Rubbing my hands together
0830K57 like Anna, I said to her heartily, "^Your visit has not been in vain.
0840K57 ^Your problem will be solved tomorrow. ^A good thing in a way!" $"^Good
0850K57 thing, you so-and-so," Manu barked back. ^Good grief, the same old
0860K57 virago! ^Not regressed or something into childhood at all. $^*I felt
0870K57 properly diminished. $^After a while, apropos of nothing, Manu said, "Bapu,
0880K57 if one falls through that_ aperture between the verandah railings
0890K57 into the street below, what do you think will be left? ^Just a piece
0900K57 or two of carcass and a pool of blood! ^Nothing more." $^*I deftly shifted
0910K57 the conversational gears and plunged into a long, reminiscent prattle....
0920K57 our childhood tricks.... Ramu*'s stammer.... Lakhu*'s discomfiture....
0930K57 even the beatings at school.... one thing and another. ^*I tried
0940K57 every conversational gambit. $^*Anna returned at last, wiping bits of
0950K57 *4misal from his moustache. ^*I was still blabbing on and on, and Manu
0960K57 was quite silent. ^Like a graven image. $^Anyway, the main 'work' was
0970K57 accomplished next day according to schedule. ^It was pronounced a success.
0980K57 ^A hair-trigger situation was retrieved. $^Early that_ fateful morning,
0990K57 I remember, Anna and I competed endlessly with each other in
1000K57 being attentive. ^*Anna woke up Manu and I made tea for her. (^Tea-making
1010K57 was becoming my main hobby....). ^*I heated the water for her bath
1020K57 and Anna hastened to_ take out a fresh *4sari from the bag. ^While Anna
1030K57 searched for and took a towel to her, I arranged a bottle of hair oil
1040K57 and a comb, complete with mirror, on the table for her use. ^And so
1050K57 on. $^*Manu was admitted to the hospital as a patient suffering from a
1060K57 womb ailment. ^It was true in a way. ^When it was all over, she was still
1070K57 unconscious. $^*Anna looked pleased as a cat with two tails. "^At least
1080K57 half the battle is won, Bapya," he said thumping me on the back.
1090K57 ^His face wore the triumphant look of a man who had performed the whole
1100K57 deed all by himself. ^*Manu stayed on in the hospital. $^Come on Bapya,"
1110K57 Anna said, "^We shall give you dinner and show you a movie today."
1120K57 $^So we ate to the point of stupefaction, topped it up with *4paan, and
1130K57 saw a movie. ^That_ is, I did the seeing while Anna snored right through,
1140K57 and I woke him up after the hero and heroine had done the slow fade
1150K57 out at the end. $"^Now Bapya," he said, plunging at once *8in medias
1160K57 res*9 as it were. "^Once I get her married I shall be free of this
1170K57 millstone round my neck. ^A tough proposition though." ^So even in his
1180K57 sleep Anna had been thinking of the same subject.... the millstone and
1190K57 how to_ shed it. $^When Manu came back from the lazar house a few
1200K57 days later, she looked like a woman after delivery, but benumbed and joyless,
1210K57 drained out and left without virtue; she seemed to_ be depleted
1220K57 of all desires and even of any interest in life-- lacking a focus or
1230K57 organising principle of existence. ^Just like the picture of a female
1240K57 saint I once saw in some coloured advertisement. ^Only very pale and colourless.
1250K57 ^And, of course, real. $^Now Anna*'s behaviour with her underwent
1260K57 a complete change. ^He smothered her with affection, with endearments
1270K57 like 'child', 'girlie' \0etc. ^He bent over backwards to_ anticipate
1280K57 and take care of every little need of hers. ^*Manu continued to_ be remote
1290K57 and uncaring. $^Came the night before their return to the village.
1300K57 $^We were sitting up after dinner, discussing politics. ^In the middle
1310K57 of a heated discourse, Anna suddenly veered off and said: "^Look Bapu,
1320K57 the past is past. ^One question, however, keeps frightening me. ^What
1330K57 about my girlie*'s future?" $"^What do you mean by future?" ^*I asked,
1340K57 tilting my head slightly sideways with the air of one asking an intelligent
1350K57 question. $"^She is now a Problem isn*'4t she?" ^*Anna*'s tone
1360K57 was heavy with capital letters. "^She is a Deceived Woman." $"^Not at
1370K57 all," Manu barged in angrily. ^Her lifeless eyes were now emitting sparks.
1380K57 $"^Very well. ^Deceived with your full knowledge, if you want it
1390K57 that_ way." Anna said, backing off a bit. "^But what about her future
1400K57 life. Bapu? ^Who in our society will accept a woman with an irretrievably
1410K57 flawed reputation? ^No matter how much we try to_ keep this a secret,
1420K57 how are we going to_ de-fuse the scandal in the village? ^Her marriage
1430K57 is definitely going to_ be a problem. ^We shall have to_ make the
1440K57 best bargain in a bad market. ^We may have to_ settle for a widower or
1450K57 someone looking for a third wife. ^Or else go straight for a handicapped
1460K57 person, a blind man perhaps..." $"^Leave my future alone! ^*I shall not
1470K57 marry. ^*I shall live alone." ^*Manu thundered. $"^That_ too is very difficult,
1480K57 very difficult," Anna said with the air of a person who would
1490K57 have to_ undergo the penance himself. "^After all, a woman needs a home
1500K57 and a family. ^These are her basic needs. ^What do you say, Bapu?"$"^Of
1510K57 course," I said. "^No doubt about it." $"^*I don*'4t need anyone
1520K57 or anything." ^*Manu said, "^Not even anything basic." $"^How can you
1530K57 say such a thing?" asked Anna. $^To_ avoid further controversy I chipped
1540K57 in with. "^An idealistic young man, perhaps," and was squashed by
1550K57 a single look from Manu. $^Next day Anna and Manu took their departure.
1560K57 $^On the railway platform Anna did not forget to_ thank me profusely,
1570K57 but Manu was quite expressionless. $^*Manu reached home safely and
1580K57 a letter to that_ effect was duly received from Anna. ^It contained
1590K57 a further expression of gratitude. $^*Anna*'s letters started tapering
1600K57 off after a while and then stopped. ^For a long time I did not hear from
1610K57 him and I inferred that nothing untoward was happening. ^Apparently
1620K57 there was nothing doing about Manu*'s marriage either, since there was
1630K57 no reference to it in the letters from my own family. ^These letters
1640K57 usually had a wide coverage, even including tidbits like Sudha*'s Satish,
1650K57 at the other end of the village, cutting his second upper tooth last
1660K57 Wednesday.*#
        **[no. of words = 02014**]

        **[txt. k58**]
0010K58 **<*3The Matchbox*0**> $^*I COMPARE women to match boxes. ^Why? ^Because,
0020K58 like match boxes with their calm and collected exterior, they may
0030K58 be seen in the living room, in the bedroom, in the kitchen and just like
0040K58 a match box, they have within themselves a supply of explosive that_
0050K58 could start a hundred forest fires. ^Women, I consider to_ be like
0060K58 match boxes. ^Do you want an example? $^Alright **[sic**] then look at
0070K58 that_ huge, three-storeyed house across the road. $^It is Sunday isn*'4t
0080K58 it? ^The time, morning. ^The washerman has arrived with his weekly wash.
0090K58 ^*Nomita was emptying out the pockets of Ajit*'s shirts and trousers
0100K58 before handing them to the washerman when suddenly she discovered that_
0110K58 letter. ^A crushed and crumpled envelope, but open. ^The envelope was
0120K58 addressed to her. $^*Nomita*'s whole system seemed to_ be on fire.
0130K58 ^She sat down on the bed and took the letter out of the envelope, her
0140K58 eyes riveted **[sic**] on the date. ^It indicated that the letter had arrived
0150K58 at least three days ago. ^She turned the envelope over and checked
0160K58 the postal seal. ^It confirmed the date. ^There was not the slightest
0170K58 shadow of a doubt that the letter did arrive three days ago. ^*Ajit had
0180K58 opened it, read the letter, and then, crumpling it, shoved it into his
0190K58 pocket. ^He did not think it necessary to_ let her know about it.
0200K58 $^The fire within her had reached a blazing point by then, and pervaded
0210K58 every nook and corner of her very being. ^This was certainly not due to
0220K58 forgetfulness; it was a deliberate act. ^This was Ajit*'s habit.
0230K58 $^*Ajit kept the key of the letter-box with him, although they were a joint
0240K58 family with fifty pairs of hands-- pardon a little exaggeration.
0250K58 ^Usually, he read Nomita*'s letters first and then passed them on to
0260K58 her. ^Sometimes he did not care to_ do that_ even! ^At least, that_
0270K58 was her firm conviction. $^To_ tell the truth, however, uptil now Ajit
0280K58 had not been able to_ claim that he had discovered any letter that
0290K58 was suspect. ^Still, he couldn*'4t get rid of this despicable habit of his.
0300K58 ^*Nomita had tried losing her temper with him, had said harsh things,
0310K58 had castigated him in unmistakable terms-- but to no avail. ^Nothing
0320K58 had worked. ^She had even tried talking gently to him-- but it had fallen
0330K58 on deaf ears. $^In the beginning, he used to_ make light of the whole
0340K58 thing and when that_ failed, he pretended to_ lose his temper! $^*Nomita
0350K58 sat quietly for a few seconds in order to_ calm herself, then
0360K58 read the letter. ^It was from her mother, nothing serious. ^In her usual
0370K58 manner, her mother had listed all her troubles and difficulties, adding
0380K58 that the ceiling of her room was leaking and needed repairs urgenly, or
0390K58 else it would give way and she would die under the debris. ^However, she
0400K58 felt assured that her 'queen of a daughter and her noble, generous son-in-law'
0410K58 would not allow that_ to_ happen, therefore, \0etc., \0etc. $^*Nomita*'s
0420K58 mother was poor and a widow. ^She was able to_ get her daughter
0430K58 married into a rich family because of her daughter*'s beauty. ^But
0440K58 the mother never failed to_ take credit for arranging such a match and always
0450K58 took advantage of her now-prosperous daughter. $^Whenever her mother*'s
0460K58 letter came, Ajit would comment: "^Don*'4t waste your time reading
0470K58 it. ^*I better fill out a money order form!" $^*Nomita wanted to_
0480K58 die of shame. ^Only the other day she had written to her mother telling
0490K58 her not to_ write on a postcard. ^She had decided to_ send money to
0500K58 her mother secretly, without Ajit*'s knowledge. ^Now, here was the result
0510K58 of a letter sent in an envelope! $^Suddenly, Nomita grew terribly
0520K58 angry with her mother. ^Why, why, does she behave like a beggar? ^Why does
0530K58 she put her in this awful position all the time? ^No, this time she was
0540K58 going to_ let her mother know that she would not be able to_ help
0550K58 her any more. ^Please do not expect anything from me from now on. $^At
0560K58 that_ moment, Ajit entered the room. ^He had just had a bath and looked
0570K58 refreshed. ^*Nomita*'s simmering rage found its victim now. ^She roared
0580K58 like a tigress; "^When did this letter arrive?" $^Looking askance at
0590K58 her, Ajit realised the seriousness of the situation. ^Actually, he had
0600K58 decided to_ tear that_ letter because otherwise it would mean some
0610K58 money wasted. ^As a matter of fact, he did not want Nomita to_ know that
0620K58 a letter had arrived from her mother. ^What a mistake! ^He had completely
0630K58 forgoten about it! $^But Ajit wasn*'4t going to_ give in that_
0640K58 easily. ^He pretended to_ remember, and, of course, failed to_ remember,
0650K58 "^Letter? ^Which letter?" ^And then, suddenly as though seeing a light,
0660K58 he added, "^Why of course, a letter did arrive from your mother. ^*I
0670K58 didn*'4t find time to_ give it to you. ^Sorry!" $"^Why not? ^Why? ^Why?
0680K58 ^Tell me why you didn*'4t give me my letter?" $"^For goodness sake--
0681K58 I
0690K58 forgot that_*'1s why." $"^Liar," hissed Nomita, like a snake. $"^Why are
0700K58 you calling me names? ^Don*'4t! people forget?" $"^No they don*'4t! ^Why
0710K58 did you open my letter?" $^*Ajit tried to_ make light of the issue,
0720K58 "^So what? ^My own wife*'s letter...." $"^Shut up, I repeat don*'4t lie.
0730K58 ^How dare you open my letter. ^Haven*'4t I asked you a thousand times
0740K58 not to_ do it?" $^*Ajit wasn*'4t so afraid of Nomita*'s temper as
0750K58 much as he dreaded a scene, so he smiled weakly and said, "^What if you
0760K58 forbade me to_? ^Don*'4t I have to_ check if anyone is writing love-letters
0770K58 to you?" $"^Stop it. ^You are mean, you are despicable." $^It would
0780K58 not be fair to_ expect Ajit to_ continue smiling, even after this!
0790K58 ^He held out his knife of poison now and said, "^Why indeed? ^Only those
0800K58 who write whining letters to their sons-in-law are well-born. ^A poor
0810K58 girl has become a queen I suppose......" $"^Shut up," shrieked Nomita.
0820K58 $^It was a blessing that their room was in the third storey-- there
0830K58 were many in that_ house who would have enjoyed eaves-dropping. $"^Shut
0840K58 up?" growled Ajit, "^Why should I shut up? ^*I shall say it again.
0850K58 ^What I say goes. ^*I was to_ do it-- that_ is all. ^What can you do? ^Can
0860K58 you do anything?" $"^Can*'4t I do anything-- nothing at all?" Nomita
0870K58 panted, breathlessly. "^Do you want to_ see what I can do?" ^Forthwith,
0880K58 in almost a flicker of an eyelid, she did an unbelievable thing. ^She
0890K58 picked up the match box that_ was lying on the table, the one Ajit
0900K58 used for his cigarettes and, lighting a stick, set fire to the end of her
0910K58 sari. ^The muslin caught fire in a second. $^*Ajit jumped towards her
0920K58 instantly and put out the flame with his hands-- crumpling the burning
0930K58 end between his palms. $^And, to_ tell the truth, he became quite nervous
0940K58 as he looked at Nomita stealthily. ^He saw her flushed face-- red hot
0950K58 with a raging fire. ^He did not dare put out *3that fire with his hand,
0960K58 so he tried to_ pour some water over it. ^He forced himself to_ speak
0970K58 in a natural voice, "^Really, you do lose your senses when you become
0980K58 angry. ^How can a woman lose her temper so? ^Oh!" $^What Nomita would
0990K58 have said in reply I cannot say because right at that_ critical juncture,
1000K58 her niece, Rini, came on the scene. ^*Rini did not wait to_ take a
1010K58 breath and recited excitedly, "Aunty, how long will the washerman wait?
1020K58 ^If you aren*'4t going to_ give any clothes this time, then tell him
1030K58 so." $^*Nomita paused for a second and tried to_ visualise the scene
1040K58 downstairs. ^Then, she picked up the dirty clothes and calmly replied,
1050K58 "^Tell him that I am coming down in a minute to_ give him the clothes."
1060K58 $^*Nomita is not placid by nature, so nobody meddles with her directly.
1070K58 ^They attack her as much as they can through indirect hints. ^The second
1080K58 sister-in-law was upto her neck with a hundred chores. ^Seeing Nomita,
1090K58 she forced a smile to_ hide her frown, "^Thank the lord, at last
1100K58 you found time to_ come down-stairs. ^Really! ^Any excuse to_ be with
1110K58 your husband. ^Aren*'4t you two ever tired of your love talk?" $^*Nomita
1120K58 took in the situation. ^She saw the family gathered together in the morning--
1130K58 crowded with relations, friends. ^She mustn*'4t allow her voice
1140K58 to_ waver! ^So she also smiled archly and said breezily, "^Oh, indeed!
1150K58 ^Watch us from a hidden corner and eavesdrop. ^When we talk it is always
1160K58 a battle of words, believe me!" $^The second sister-in-law laughed a
1170K58 little, "^Please Nomita, don*'4t play with words. ^We don*'4t eat grass,
1180K58 do we? ^We don*'4t have to_ spy or eavesdrop. ^What we see, we see right
1190K58 before us-- twentyfour hours." $^*Nomita blushed and then she smiled
1191K58 happily,
1200K58 "*4^*Didi, you are not being nice!" $^The eldest sister-in-law e
1210K58 ntered the scene and asked anxiously, "^Have you finished preparing the
1220K58 vagetables? ^Or are you chatting all the time?" ^And then she exclaimed,
1230K58 agitated, "^What is that_ Nomita? ^What happened? ^How did you burn
1240K58 the end of your *4sari like that_?" $^*Nomita grew nervous, but only
1250K58 for a moment. ^She tucked in the end of her *4sari and laughed heartily,
1260K58 "^See what happens if we don*'4t obey you? ^*I was trying to_ take the
1270K58 kettle off the stove with my *4sari. ^This is the result." $^She pulled
1280K58 the basket of potatoes towards her and started to peel them. ^She began
1290K58 thinking about how she could send some money to her mother. ^She couldn*'4t
1300K58 really write to her mother saying that she would not be able to_
1310K58 help her any more: "^Please do not expect anything from me from now on!"
1320K58 $^The whole village knows that Nomita is a "queen" and her husband is
1330K58 "noble and generous." $^See, that_ is why I compare a woman to a match
1340K58 box. ^Although they have enough within them to_ start a hundred major
1350K58 fires, they never flare up and burn the mask of nobility of their men.
1360K58 ^They never explode their own colourful, calm exteriors either. $^That
1370K58 they will never burst into flames in reality-- the men know well. $^That_*'1s
1380K58 why men let them be, without any apprehension, in the kitchen,
1381K58 in the
1390K58 living room, in the bedroom. ^Here, there, everywhere. $^And they also
1400K58 put them into their pockets without any fear at all.
1401K58 $**<*3Empty Canvas**> $*3^THEY*0 were both
1410K58 sitting on the broad parapet of the terrace. ^No conversation passed
1420K58 between them but they were used to such silences. ^Often their friends
1430K58 and acquaintances made fun of their queer quiescence. $^They could catch
1440K58 a glimpse of the sea in front of them, behind a house. ^The sea sparkled
1450K58 bright though it was growing dark. ^The wind that_ evening was strong
1460K58 and puffs of cloud were hovering in the sky. ^Suddenly he broke into
1470K58 a boisterous laugh that_ reverberated through the calm of the evening.
1480K58 $"^How long shall we continue to_ sit like this? ^Won*'4t you go
1490K58 home today", he wondered aloud. $"^*I don*'4t feel like going home today.
1500K58 ^*I want to_ keep sitting like this-- I could pass the night this
1510K58 way", she said, in a subdued voice. "^Light me a cigarette, I can*'4t
1520K58 in this strong wind." $"^You are smoking too much. ^Yesterday I noticed
1530K58 an ash-tray in your studio full of half-burnt cigarettes," he said, reaching
1540K58 for the cigarettes in the pocket of his trousers. $"^It*'1s not
1550K58 such a bad habit, though. ^It makes it easier to_ idle away the hours,"
1560K58 she replied. $^He began pacing from one end of the terrace to the other.
1570K58 ^He was quiet. ^She smoked, sitting as before. ^She had been feeling
1580K58 exhausted a while ago in her studio. ^Now here, on the terrace, her weariness
1590K58 seemed to_ have disappeared altogether. $"^Want to_ listen to
1600K58 a record?" he asked. $"^Alright, **[sic**] but don*'4t play it too loud."
1610K58 $^He went towards his studio, which stood at the other end of the terrace.
1620K58 ^A light shining from its open window. ^There was a large canvas inside,
1630K58 fitted on the easel. ^He stopped for a brief moment in front of the
1640K58 canvas as he passed.*#
        **[no. of words = 02032**]