**[txt. p01**]
0010P01 **<*3REALITY*0**> $*3^*The*0 music puised through her veins. ^She
0020P01 wanted to_ weep, laugh, dance and indulge in a medley of emotions
0030P01 simultaneously-- but such things were not done at a wedding! ^Her gaze
0040P01 intensified itself on Dalip. ^He looked-- resigned? ^Frustrated?
0050P01 ^Fatigued? ^She tried to_ catch the right expression as he prostrated
0060P01 in traditional style to a continuous stream of elderly feet.
0070P01 $^She was sorely tempted to_ tap him on the shoulder and say, "Hey
0080P01 what thoughts are you tussling with now?" ^But that_ was impossible under
0090P01 the present circumstances. ^He was the groom; looking absolutely
0100P01 splendid in the traditional white, gold and red Coorgi garb. ^Suddenly
0110P01 her heart called out, to the beat of the throbbing drums, "^*Dalip
0120P01 my love." ^And the music continued to_ set her on fire. ^She
0130P01 flushed with the effort of restraining herself from undulating to the intoxicating
0140P01 music. ^*Dalip had termed it very well when he had called
0150P01 this tribal music "the best jazz in the world." $^The subject had
0160P01 come up at her cousin*'s wedding in Hyderabad. ^She had met him there
0170P01 for the first time. ^Knowing hardly anyone besides the groom himself
0180P01 , Dalip had earnestly asked her not to_ desert him. ^She had obliged
0190P01 willingly, ignoring the waves of raised eyebrows as they stood talking
0200P01 on the "no man*'s land" between the *4zanana and *4mardana sections.
0210P01 ^The groom had been called away just then to_ perform some particular
0220P01 salutations. $"^Don*'4t you have music at your weddings?" he had
0230P01 asked. $"^Normally we don*'4t," she had replied. $"^But you should!
0240P01 ^What better expression of celebration than clarion calls and drums?"
0250P01 $"^That_ sounds more like a battle than a wedding," she had retorted.
0260P01 $"^Well, in a way I suppose it is also that_, "he had agreed with
0270P01 a smile and then with a far away look added "a battle of personalities--
0280P01 his and her*'s." $^Her attention at that_ moment, had been drawn
0290P01 to his eyes. ^They were the colour of dark honey and when the light
0300P01 caught them there was a reassuring warmth there. ^A sketch imprinted itself
0310P01 on her mind-- tall, wiry, and elegantly dressed. ^A broad forehead
0320P01 over a slightly beaked nose. ^Lips that_ smiled often with
0330P01 an endorsement in his eyes. ^She had a weakness for square jawed
0340P01 men with dark rough hair! "^Handsome? ^No, not really. ^Attractive?
0350P01 ^Yes, very," she thought. $^As a result of a mutual exchange of
0360P01 addresses they got in touch with each other when they returned to Bangalore.
0370P01 ^They met again. ^And again. ^Their backgrounds were very
0380P01 different. ^She had this all-consuming desire to_ rediscover herself
0390P01 in his company. ^Her super rich world floated down to_ meet
0400P01 his humble but meaningful world. ^She had so far been aware of only the
0410P01 rich, the rest were a vague "others." ~but the "others" took on a definite
0420P01 form when she was with him. ^He was a free lance writer and
0430P01 literary critic in his spare time, and the occasional pieces of writing
0440P01 he chose to_ show her assailed her with pain and pleasure. ^Then she
0450P01 had begun to_ write verse. $"^Hmmm, it*'1s good enough for
0460P01 someone who never tried writing poetry before, but tell me Shanu do
0470P01 you really feel these words? ^When did you have the chance to_ observe:
0480P01 "^The raw pain dripping from her eyes as her ripe body beckoned yet
0490P01 another?" $"are you trying to_ make me out as some sort of a pseudo?"
0500P01 she had flared up. $"^No, but I*'1d like to_ tell you how
0510P01 gorgeous you look in a temper," he had soothed her covering her small
0520P01 hands with his palm. $"^Well, \0Mr. critic, let me tell you it*'1s
0530P01 far easier to_ free-lance as a critic than to_ write verse and have
0540P01 the guts to_ show it to one." $^He laughed at her jibe,
0550P01 but realised how much it cost her to_ expose her inner core to him, not
0560P01 because he was a critic but because he was Dalip. $"^Sorry Shanu,
0570P01 I*'3m humbled," he apologised. ^Then with unexpected temerity he
0580P01 had said, "When may I have the supreme honour of devouring your dairy,
0590P01 Lady Shaneela Zaheer?" $"^What presumption! ^*I haven*'4t
0600P01 shown it even to my closest pal, are you....." $"....something
0610P01 more than your closest pal, perhaps?" he had interrupted with his captivating
0620P01 smile. ^Why did he have to_ smile like that_? ^It crumbled
0630P01 her well stocked arguments to dust. $"^Look here, Dalip Somiah.
0640P01 you are stuffing ideas into my innocent head," she said in the sternest
0650P01 tone she could manage. $"^No, my love, I*'3m only helping you
0660P01 to_ articulate what is already there." ^Though she couldn*'4t help
0670P01 laughing at his wit she had to_ get her mind clear on this. $"^*Dalip,
0680P01 I hope all this is a joke." $"^Is that_ all this relationship
0690P01 means to you?" $^He definitely wasn*'4t light-hearted then.
0700P01 ^The profound implication of that_ question had shaken her up. $"^Well,
0710P01 not a joke exactly but... oh, Dalip, what is it then?" she had asked,
0720P01 more confused than before. $"^Shanu, how many ways are there of
0730P01 saying, I love you?" $^Silence. $"^Tell me, Shanu,"
0740P01 he persisted. $"^Really Dalip I feel quite reluctant to_ carry
0750P01 on this discussion till I*'3m absolutely sure of myself and a few
0760P01 other people concerned." ^Was that_ her voice? ^What on earth had made
0770P01 her say such a thing? $"^*Shanu, I*'3m an ordinary person, and not
0780P01 particularly imaginative at the best of times. ^That_ is probably why I
0790P01 can*'4t think of anything to_ substitute the over worked words,
0800P01 'I love you,' but by God, I mean it." $^His look, that_ warm and
0810P01 intense light of passion, love and respect had bowled her over completely.
0820P01 $^She had murmured something incoherent as she looked at him
0830P01 with a mute appeal in her eyes to_ change the topic. ^She was overcome
0840P01 with emotion and felt herself on dangerous ground. ^Suddenly, all those
0850P01 young men in the past who had passionately expressed their love for
0860P01 her seemed like pathetic caricatures. ^She relaxed somewhere deep, deep
0870P01 inside and for that_ moment he was oblivious of every other thought save
0880P01 that_ of loving Dalip with all the abandon of her twenty-two years.
0890P01 $^Time froze them into a welcome isolation from the world around.
0900P01 ^A waiter hovered somewhere in the background. ^He was an entity
0910P01 they could accept without acknowledgement. ^A jarring greeting
0920P01 tore in from somewhere and everything was set in motion again.
0930P01 $"^Hi Dalip, long time no seeing and the rest of the conversation had
0940P01 been in Coorgi. ^*Shaneela was introduced to the young couple at
0950P01 once and Dalip made a valiant effort to_ steer the conversation into
0960P01 English, but his acquaintances seemed to_ derive a sadistic satisfaction
0970P01 out of sticking to their native tongue while throwing sly looks of
0980P01 curiosity at Shaneela. ^She had borne it with admirable calm, but that_
0990P01 incident had spot-lighted the implications of falling in love with
1000P01 someone who belonged to a different setting. $"^*I hope they didn*'4t
1010P01 put you off? ^These tribal folk have a long way to_ go before they catch
1020P01 up with common decency," he had apologised profusely. ^Suddenly
1030P01 she had felt the irritating incident melt into nothing. ^To her
1040P01 all that_ mattered was his sensitivity to the situation. ^He had
1050P01 understood! ^She dazzled him with a brilliant smile as she flippantly
1060P01 remarked. "^My kinsfolk are no better, let*'3s forget about them and
1070P01 return to our own world." $"^Super idea, but let*'3s take our little
1080P01 world somewhere else, this place is getting too popular for any comfort,"
1090P01 he agreed and called for the bill. $^*Dalip could never resist comparing
1100P01 any scenic spot they went to with Coorg. ^He never tired of
1110P01 telling Shaneela of its seductive setting. "^*Shanu, it*'1s out of this
1120P01 world you*'1d flip over. ^There*'1s this incredible place I know
1130P01 just made for a couple of love smitten souls. ^It*'1s a gem.
1140P01 ^Nature at her generous best. ^Fields and meadows embracing each
1150P01 other, magnificent forests and hills surrounding them. ^There
1160P01 are wild flowers and fruits I don*'4t even know the names of. ^Everything
1170P01 seems carefully planned to_ erase the ugliness of everyday sights.
1180P01 ^Its*'1s so beautiful you could go crazy......" $"^And
1190P01 when will you take me there?" she would ask enraptured. $^Why did he
1200P01 always evade a direct answer? ^All he had to_ say was, "When we get
1210P01 married of course." $^It had disturbed her. ^She had often asked
1220P01 him to_ come and visit her parents. ^He had obliged her once, taken
1230P01 a great liking to her father and only brother, Arun, but had never
1240P01 repeated the visit. ^He hadn*'4t ever invited her to_ return the visit.
1250P01 ^He called her over the phone only when it was absolutely necessary.
1260P01 ^He had always insisted that she carry on with all her social
1270P01 commitments and friends sparing time for him only when she could. $"^*I
1280P01 think it is wrong to_ become distant and aloof from your former circle
1290P01 just because you have found someone special. ^It displays an unsavoury
1300P01 selfishness." $^She had understood his point. ^Time flew
1310P01 on. $^She had sometimes wondered if her parents and her very close
1320P01 uncle suspected anything. ^At a community engagement celebration her mother
1330P01 had pointed across the room to a rather obese and vulgarly bejewelled
1340P01 lady and said, "See that_ lady there? ^She has asked us to_
1350P01 visit her tomorrow-- I hope you haven*'4t got anything particular to_
1360P01 do? $"^Yes Mama, I have to_ meet a friend tomorrow." $"^Can*'4t
1370P01 you postpone meeting her for another day?" $"^I can*'4t," Shaneela
1380P01 replied calmly, ignoring the gender part of the conversation. $"^You
1390P01 go, why must I tag along?" $"^She was very keen that you come
1400P01 along too. ^*I*'3ll tell her you have some work for tomorrow and we*'3ll
1410P01 go some other time." $"^No, I won*'4t come. ^*I don*'4t like
1420P01 her looks one bit, and why this sudden insistence on my coming with
1430P01 you?" $"^They are new in town and I suppose she wants some company
1440P01 for herself and her daughter." her mother reasoned calmly enough.
1450P01 $"^Looking at her I have very little reason to_ believe her daughter and
1460P01 I will get along." $^*Shaneela thought the matter closed.
1470P01 $"^Oh, but they are very well off with most of their relations abroad--
1480P01 very good connections," her mother had persisted. $"^Pity she cannot
1490P01 use her wealth and connections to better advantage," Shaneela
1500P01 had retorted. $"^Why are you being so rude and irritable? ^Is something
1510P01 bothering you?" $"^Yes Mama, that_ woman!" $"^Don*'4t be
1520P01 difficult Shaneel. ^We must look her up." $^She had acceded finally,
1530P01 more to_ end the argument than anything else. $"^Hmmm so you have
1540P01 to_ visit some poor rich lonely lady and her daughter. ^Tell me, isn*'4t
1550P01 there some poor rich lonely son lurking behind the scenes?" ^*Dalip
1560P01 had asked when she narrated the argument to him the next day. $"^You
1570P01 Sherlock Holmes! ^*I never thought of that_. ^Of course, I shan*'4t
1580P01 go!" $"^Don*'4t be a spoil sport. ^You must go. ^Who knows
1590P01 you might miss out on King Midas *=2," dalip quipped. $"^*Croesus
1600P01 wouldn*'4t drag me from you," she had declared with uncharacteristic
1610P01 exuberance. ^Another moment of uncertainty. ^An uncomfortable pause.
1620P01 ^Suddenly he had looked at her with an expression totally
1630P01 incomprehensible to her. ^The magic of the evening vanished irrevocably.
1640P01 ^Inconsequential conversaion followed and one more question mark
1650P01 settled itself on the pile in Shaneela*'s mind. $^The invitation
1660P01 for Taraki Sen*'s party had arrived out of the blue. ^*Taraki was a well
1670P01 known playwright whose parties were very popular. ^Both Shaneela and
1680P01 Dalip knew the type of people who would be there. ^*Dalip had
1690P01 decided not to_ go as he was firmly convinced that most of the people
1700P01 at such parties were poseurs whom he found intolerable. ^*Shaneela had
1710P01 wanted to_ go because she liked Taraki and was not cynical about the
1720P01 crowd there. $"^Okay, you don*'4t like most of the types there, but
1730P01 am I not enough incentive for you to_ come?" she had asked, slightly
1740P01 hurt by his obstinacy. $"^It may be your scene Shanu but it is definitely
1750P01 not mine." $"^Okay, let*'3s strike a deal. ^If you find
1760P01 the place a drag we*'3ll leave," she pleaded, still wondering at the
1770P01 unreasonable attitude he had taken.*#
        **[no. of words = 02015**]

        **[txt. p02**]
0010P02 **<*3The Tree is taller than the mountain*0**> $*3^*Was*0 it possible
0020P02 to_ be in love with two men at the same time? ^*I had found it necessary
0030P02 to_ give serious thought to the question in August of *'371-- my final
0040P02 year at college. ^In most of the love stories_ that I*'d read, the
0050P02 heroine was always the determined type who knew from the start which man
0060P02 she wanted. ^Naturally, the heroines of the story book world are stunningly
0070P02 beautiful women with special talents for seeing to it that things
0080P02 always work out their way. ^With people like me, it*'1s an altogether
0090P02 different game. $"^Say, weren*'4t you at the Kofee Korner last
0100P02 night?" $"^Not unless you believe in trans-materialisation." ^That_*'1s
0110P02 the kind of thing that_ happens to me. ^So when I confided in my
0120P02 best friend that not only was I in love with two men but that they were
0130P02 in love with me too. ^*I couldn*'4t really blame her for looking skeptical.
0140P02 $"^You worked out a special act or what?" ^*Villie demanded
0150P02 at an instant reflex when I told her about Runni and Ronnie.
0160P02 $"^Nyel!" ^When I want to_, I can say NO in six different
0170P02 languages. "^*I pay for it." $^It wasn*'4t one of my cleverer
0180P02 repartees. ^*Ville was tempted to_ believe me. ^Couldn*'4t say
0190P02 I blamed her either. ^My pronouncements must have knocked out Villie*'s
0200P02 ego. ^There had to_ be a catch. $"^They couldn*'4t be from
0210P02 around here," Villie sniffed. $^*I*'3m not sure why she sniffed but
0220P02 around here meant the hallowed precincts of \0St. Sebastian*'s
0230P02 College of Arts where both of us were taking our Bachelor*'s degrees
0240P02 and this conversation was being conducted in the usual place for such
0250P02 conversations-- lecture room \0No. *=5. $^While \0Prof. Mantri,
0260P02 a wizened old monkey of a man with atrocious pronunciation and hair
0270P02 sticking out of his ears, made *4Vedantic philosophy more incomprehensible
0280P02 than it already was, I unfolded the Runni-Ronnie phenomenon
0290P02 to Villie. $"^They sound like a comedy set," she cut in.
0300P02 $^The comment (to_ put it mildly) was disconcerting. ^Hadn*'4t I
0310P02 explained that the two chaps were as yet unaware of each other*'s
0320P02 existence. ^*Villie*'s dumping them together showed that either she
0330P02 hadn*'4t paid sufficient attention to my whispered bulletins or that
0340P02 she was being deliberately obtuse. ^The adverb is intentional because
0350P02 Villie is good looking and bright. $"^They don*'4t know about
0360P02 each other." ^*I hissed irritably at her. $"^Yeah to you said.
0370P02 ^One is an accountant type who juggles your tax returns and the other
0380P02 fellow came along to_ sell you insurance. ^One kiss and it was instant
0390P02 combustion. ^Both times." ^After this recital I shut up.
0400P02 ^*I had done Villie an injustice. ^The ball was back in my court,
0410P02 only I wasn*'4t sure how to_ tackle it. $^Before proceeding in
0420P02 the matter I decided it would be wise to_ line up the pros and cons
0430P02 in a mental debate on Villie-- would she be discreet \0vs.
0440P02 would she blab it all over town. $^We were the same age, which is to_
0450P02 say nineteen, and we had known each other for three years. ^*Villie
0460P02 and I had also selected the same subjects-- philosophy and
0470P02 psychology-- so we had common interests. ^Socially we were on
0480P02 the same level-- upper-upper-middle, whatever that_ means. ^And
0490P02 we did get on rather well. ^*Villie is also an only child, but
0500P02 there was one big difference in our lives. ^*Villie*'s comings and
0510P02 goings were under the strict surveillance of an eagle-eyed mother
0520P02 whereas I was over eighteen and answerable only to myself. ^*Ma
0530P02 and Pa Rattanshaw-- my progenitors-- had been killed in a motorcar
0540P02 crash four years earlier. ^They*'d been en route to Marguerita*'s-in-the-South
0550P02 where I*'d been a boarder, when their brand new
0560P02 Fiat Millicento succumbed to a fatal attraction for the rear end of
0570P02 a delivery van in front of it. $^After I took up psychology, I discovered
0580P02 that it would*'3ve been quite, okay for me to_ erupt in all
0590P02 manner of guilt complexes over "that_ God-awful tragedy" as sundry
0600P02 other Rattanshaws still called it. ^But the way I had seen
0610P02 it at the age of fifteen (which was when it all happened), if Ma
0620P02 and Pa Rattanshaw had cared enough about me in the first place, they
0630P02 wouldn*'4t have packed me off eight hundred miles from home. ^So
0640P02 that (in the second place) the necessity to_ visit me needn*'4t ever
0650P02 have arisen. ^Naturally, this is an opinion I normally keep to myself.
0660P02 ^To_ say it out loud would be irreverent and, whatever else
0670P02 we Indians may shrug off, irreverence of one*'s forebears is not *8comme
0680P02 il faut.*9 ^The Rattanshaws had made a very handsome couple
0690P02 and I guess I*'d never really forgiven them for failing to_ cast me
0700P02 in the same mould. $^After I turned eighteen and free-- sole beneficiary,
0710P02 \0etc., of the Rattanshaw estate-- I moved into my very
0720P02 own ownership flat. ^And this independent bachelor-girl status was
0730P02 perhaps the only thing my friends envied me. $^By the middle of
0740P02 the next lecture-- the Psychology of Religion-- I was still wondering
0750P02 about the extent to which I could confide in Villie when she prodded
0760P02 me with her elbow. $"^You aren*'4t even listening," she remonstrated.
0770P02 "^It*'1s all about the sex instinct in religions. $^*I sighed.
0780P02 "^It turns up to the oddest places, doesn*'4t it?" $"^You should
0790P02 know," Villie replied. ^There was no rancour in her tone and this
0800P02 induced me to_ tell her all. $"^It has its disadvantages," I began.
0810P02 $"^What has?" $"^Sex." $"^Oh? ^Like what?" $"^Like
0820P02 little babies..." I forgot to_ complete the sentence as Villie*'s
0830P02 eyebrows arched up a good quarter inch from their usual mooring. $"^You
0840P02 mean the howling shrieking variety which don*'4t come wrapped in
0850P02 cellophane?" $^*Villie was making doubly certain of what I*'d said.
0860P02 ^A sure sign that she was interested in knowing more. $"^Which
0870P02 one*'1s the proud papa?" ^He whispered. ^She had no business looking
0880P02 awed, but she did. ^Which made me forget what I had started
0890P02 out to_ say. $"^You want a name?" $"^For the baby?" $"^No
0900P02 stupid! ^A good *(0K. O.*) man." $^Since this was in the
0910P02 days before abortion was legalised I knew that Villie was only
0920P02 trying to_ be helpful. $"^That_ won*'4t be necessary," I told her
0930P02 though I really appreciated the offer. $"^You mean you*'3re getting
0940P02 married? ^She persisted. $^*Villie*'s logic was commendable
0950P02 but since that_, more or less, was the crux of the problem, I hedged.
0960P02 $"^Well, you see, I*3m not quite sure...." I started, groping for
0970P02 the right words, but Villie, well-read as she was, obviously hadn*4t
0980P02 got around to Dale Carnegie. ^She had this terrible habit
0990P02 of cutting people off mid-sentence. $"^You *'3re doing a Vanessa
1000P02 Redgrave!" ^She interrupted. $"^No, I*'3m not!" $"^Listen,
1010P02 you moron,"-- idiot, imbecile and moron, in that order, are Villie*'s
1020P02 favourite forms of address-- "you have no other choice!" $^*I was
1030P02 about to_ launch into a graphic description as to the precise nature of
1040P02 my dilemma when my in-built antenna vibrated. ^Something in the
1050P02 classroom was amiss. ^*I looked in the direction of the lecturer*'s
1060P02 podium to_ find him pointing a finger at me and saying what sounded
1070P02 like, "You! ^Get out of the lecture room!" ^Rather than
1080P02 argue with a man whose vocabulary I knew to_ be more comprehensive than
1090P02 mine, I quietly gathered up my books and, with a mumbled, "See
1100P02 you later," to Villie I made for the exit. $^Fifteen minutes later
1110P02 Villie joined me in the Cat House-- a 20 x 20 waiting room on the
1120P02 second and storey of \0St. Sebastian*'s east wing with the myth LADIES
1130P02 ONLY stencilled on its door. $"^Right," said Villie pulling
1140P02 up a chair next to mine, "Let*'3s hear it. ^And don*4't dream of
1150P02 sparing me any of the gory details." $^It was two hours before
1160P02 I finished telling her what it was about. ^Two hours might seem
1170P02 like a lot of time merely to_ confide in a friend that you were in trouble
1180P02 and not certain as to which of two contenders for your hand was
1190P02 responsible. ^But that_ I guess depends on the friend. ^Someone
1200P02 like Villie insists on interrupting a steady flow of words with
1210P02 idiot question like, "Haven*'4t you heard of the pill?"
1220P02 and offering unhelpful advice like, try my brand. ^It works like a charm."
1230P02 $"^Well?" ^Asked Villie, when I finally stopped talking. $"^That_*'1s
1240P02 it," I replied. ^There really was nothing more. ^*Villie
1250P02 remained uncharacteristically silent. $"^Any suggestions?" ^*I prodded.
1260P02 $^*Villie pulled a face. "^What would you do in my place?" $^*I was
1270P02 certain that_ would get her going. $"^*I don*'4t know.
1280P02 $^Was that_ possible? $^A moment later Villie perked up visibly.
1290P02 ^That*'1s not a girl anyone*'s advised to underestimate. $"^If I
1300P02 were you I*'d get married," she said brightly. $"^Sure, but to
1320P02 which one?" $"^The one I like more. ^Natch." $"^But suppose
1330P02 you liked both. ^Equally?" ^*I persisted. $"^Then to the
1340P02 one responsible for the knock-up." $^We were back to where we*'d
1350P02 begun and by the end of the month-- on Parsi New Year*'s Day to_
1360P02 be exact-- I had to_ say "yes" to one and "no" to the other.
1370P02 $^Forty-eight hours later when I still hadn*'4t made up my mind, Villie
1380P02 decided that a "second opinion" on the two candidates was necessary.
1390P02 $"^Even the specialists need one every now and again." "^Her
1400P02 father, an eminent *(0C & P*) man (Villie*'s) interpretation of
1410P02 genitourinary surgeon), had told her this on several occasions.
1420P02 ^So who was I to_ say differently? $"^And I can substantiate that
1430P02 from my own experience," she added, as I flexed my brains to_ absorb
1440P02 a Villie-type story, meaning the sort which has a moral to it.
1450P02 ^*Villie has a fund of stories to_ back up her theories except that they
1460P02 all begin with the words: "Did I ever tell you?" $"^Did I
1470P02 ever tell you about the time my mother took me to Kashmir?" she asked.
1480P02 $^*I hadn*'4t heard this one before. $"^No," I replied,
1490P02 truthfully. $^Even if I had heard it before, I wouldn*4t have
1500P02 admitted to it. ^During the three years that I*'d known her, I
1510P02 had observed very marked tendency in her to_ become instantly disinterested
1520P02 in people with retentive memories. $"^*I was just ten, see?"
1530P02 $^To_ be quite honest, I found it hard to_ visualise Villie as a
1540P02 ten year-old but I conceded that I saw. $"^And one day," she continued,
1550P02 "I was looking out of our hotel window and there was this pine
1560P02 tree in the garden which was blocking my view of Shankaracharya Hill.
1570P02 ^How tall is that_ tree, I asked my mother. ^About sixty,
1580P02 eighty feet, she said. ^And that_ hill in the back? ^A couple
1590P02 of thousand, she thought. ^Then how come the tree looks taller?
1600P02 ^*I asked her." $^Had my \0I.Q. been somewhat higher than it is,
1610P02 at this juncture I would*'3ve applauded the moral in Villie*'s tale.
1620P02 ^Since it wasn*'4t I was still waiting for the punch line.
1630P02 $^*Villie tsk-tsked impatiently. $"^It*'1s an optical illusion--
1640P02 see? ^A matter of perspective." $"^And problems closer to
1650P02 home seem bigger than they really are," I finished for her. $"^Right."
1660P02 $^My \0I.Q. had caught up with Villie's. $^The
1670P02 big question was WHO to_ consult. ^We discussed the possibility
1680P02 of Villie herself screening the two candidates, but for a variety of
1690P02 reasons I decided against that_ course of action. $^Another week
1700P02 passed before Villie came up with a really good idea. ^We would refer
1710P02 the Rumi-Ronnie question to \0Dr. *(0V. D.*) Dikshit, *(0M. A.*),
1720P02 \0L.L.B., \0Ph.D., Astro-Palmist of international repute.
1730P02 $^A small insert in the Personal Column of the morning paper had
1740P02 attracted Villie*'s attention. ^She showed me the clipping. $"^Worried?"
1750P02 ^Asked the adlet. "^Your future foretold through astrology
1760P02 and scientific palm reading. ^Full guidance given to_ remove all troubles
1770P02 regarding health, wealth, business, finance, enmity, friendship, love,
1780P02 marriage and children." $^After taking up psychology I*'d given
1790P02 up believing in God but as I dialled \0Dr. Dikshit*'s number I
1800P02 felt immensely grateful to Him whose existence I*'d doubted.
1810P02 $^The voice which answered the phone didn*'4t sound like it belonged to
1820P02 an \0M.A., \0L.L.B., \0Ph.D. Astro-Palmist of international
1830P02 repute.*#
        **[no. of words = 02006**]

        **[txt. p03**]
0010P03 **<*3The Song of Anusuya**> ^*I first saw her from the window of
0020P03 Priti*'s bedroom. ^*I was in the habit of spending my afternoons there.
0030P03 ^It was a hot summer. ^It had been a hot summer the last seven
0040P03 years, but Priti and I seldom stirred out of Delhi; we were too lazy
0050P03 to_ travel. ^The only effort I felt capable of was to_ wash and change
0060P03 at my house in Maharani Bagh after office, and go to Priti*'s flat.
0070P03 ^It was cool, large and comfortable. ^And Priti herself was a
0080P03 cool, calm and comfortable woman. ^Not that she wasn*'4t beautiful.
0090P03 ^*I had got to_ know her in the first place because she was one of the
0100P03 most beautiful women I had ever seen, and those days I was certainly
0110P03 particular about my women. ^But she was very relaxed, and laughed easily.
0120P03 ^It made her look warmer but it also drained away the tension of
0130P03 sex. ^Perhaps that_*'1s why we never... ^But of that_ later. $^That-
0140P03 afternoon, as I lay in a bed next to Priti, gazing up at the ceiling,
0150P03 my hands on my stomach, I suddenly felt as embarrassed as an adoring
0160P03 but grown-up son sleeping with his mother, who realizes all at once that
0170P03 he is no longer a child. ^*I even let my eyes harden as I saw Priti
0180P03 gazing affectionately at me. ^*I felt cloyed with a friendship which
0190P03 had all the complications but none of the consolations, of passion.
0200P03 ^*I wished desperately for an excuse to_ blame Priti for the ridiculousness
0210P03 of our situation, but it angered me even more to_ think that she
0220P03 was blameless, and utterly, impossibly good. ^So I turned my back
0230P03 to her and tried to_ sleep. ^*I heard her call the servant. "^Hey,
0240P03 Chinta, bring me some tea. ^Not for *4Sahib. *4^*Sahib has gone
0250P03 to_ sleep." $^Even the servants took me for granted. ^But what was
0260P03 I? ^*Priti was a married woman, but I was not her lover, though
0270P03 all the world thought so. ^*I was a friend. ^And yet the demands of
0280P03 our friendship were greater than those of a liaison or marriage. ^Did
0290P03 I not feel guilty about even thinking of sleeping with another woman,
0300P03 and did I not prevent Priti from ever looking at another man? ^*I made
0310P03 scenes. ^*I would tell her I had sacrificed my youth for her, and
0320P03 was this how she was going to_ repay the sense of mission with which
0330P03 I had undertaken to_ keep her from doing anything rash, that_ is, have
0340P03 affairs and become known as a loose woman? ^*I didn*'4t care so much
0350P03 for what people said of us. ^*I had a clear conscience: I hadn*'4t
0360P03 ever touched her. ^*I was scrupulously discreet-- I didn*'4t ever
0370P03 stay the night at her flat, no matter what the provocation, not even
0380P03 when her aged father came to_ stay with her, or any one of her innumerable
0390P03 cousins. ^She had a French mother, who died, what remained was
0400P03 all Indian. ^Indeed, they all took me as a member of the family, and
0410P03 there were moments when I felt a surge of pride in my role, more effective
0420P03 than theirs, as this woman*'s protector. ^As long as I was there,
0430P03 I thought, no harm physical, emotional or moral, would
0440P03 I allow to_ come to her. ^And yet, would I say that I loved Priti?
0450P03 $"^*Jagat, I say, get up. ^Let*'3s go and see a film." $^"what?"
0460P03 $"^It is 5.30 if you*'1d only rouse yourself a bit, we can
0470P03 make it there by 6.30." $^There again. ^We shall have a quarrel,
0480P03 I*'3m sure. ^*I hated being rushed into anything, while Priti lived on
0490P03 gay impulses. ^Besides, how could you enjoy anything if you hadn*'4t
0500P03 prepared yourself for it, savoured it in deliberate anticipation? ^*I
0510P03 know I made a fetish of planning, but it seemed to me the only desirable
0520P03 base for living. ^*Priti would keep telling me how much I must
0530P03 have missed in life because of that_-- perhaps she even had our relationship
0540P03 in mind; perhaps, indeed, it was my fault that it hadn*'4t reached
0550P03 a natural culmination-- but that_*'1s the way I looked at things, and
0560P03 that_*'1s the way I wished those around me to_ accept me. $^In the
0570P03 end I nearly always fell in with Priti*'s wishes: ^If it*'1s a little
0580P03 thing like this that_*'3ll make her happy, well, why not do it.
0590P03 I*'1d think. ^Besides, I*'1d recall of a sudden the circumstances of
0600P03 her estrangement with her husband, her brave defiance of a perfidious lover,
0610P03 her essential vulnerability, and it seemed to me that I shouldn*'4t
0620P03 deny her anything that_ was in my power to_ give. ^*I*'1d do what
0630P03 I could to the limit of my capacity; the rest was God*'s will. $^Of
0640P03 course, I believed in God. ^Anyway, I hadn*'4t much to_ say for my
0650P03 life. ^*I wasn*'4t a genius or anything, nor was I planning
0660P03 to_ set out on the path to becoming one. ^*I mean, I was not even engaged
0670P03 in the pursuit of an art. ^*I had a smattering of everything,
0680P03 from being able to_ recite Urdu poetry-- and I was told I had quite
0690P03 the style for it-- to producing programmes for radio and conducting interviews,
0700P03 talks and discussions. ^*I had written several articles and some
0710P03 poems-- in English. ^In fact a book of my poems had been published,
0720P03 but that_ was about all. ^Unless you could take the seeking of women
0730P03 to_ be a valid pursuit, and the conquest of them, an art. ^In that_
0740P03 I had been eminently successful. ^That_ had not only been my dominant
0750P03 interest, but my sole obsession. ^Until I met Priti. $"^*Jagat, please."
0760P03 $"^Oh, alright." **[sic**] $^*I lumbered out of bed. ^To_ tell
0770P03 the truth I wasn*'4t feeling quite up to it but it was better not to_
0780P03 say that_ than risk a fracas, the sulkiness, and the evening spent
0790P03 in cussed silence. ^For I knew also that in such circumstances when
0800P03 I would exclaim, howsoever quietly, that the best thing for me to_
0810P03 do would be to_ go back home, Priti wouldn*'4t hear of it. ^We would
0820P03 get into such a round of arguments that it would ultimately be too late
0830P03 to_ go anywhere except for dinner. ^When finally I would suggest
0840P03 that we do so, Priti would at once taunt me: "^You*'3re very clever,
0850P03 aren*'4t you? ^That_*'1s what you wanted all along." ^Then
0860P03 her face would break into a tolerant smile and Chinta would be told
0870P03 to_ keep the dinner that_ had been cooking, in the fridge, and not to_
0880P03 wait for *4Memsahib. $*<*37*> $^*I don*'4t think I heard her properly
0890P03 then, you know. $^Love? ^Was Anasuya in love with another?
0900P03 ^The idea didn*'4t penetrate my consciousness. ^It almost didn*'4t
0910P03 matter. ^*I must confess that the physical limitations it entailed
0920P03 affected me more. ^What a strange pattern began to_ unfold! ^*I
0930P03 could make love to Anusuya and what an ecstatic condition that_ was,
0940P03 but only to an extent! *3^Only to an extent. ^Always, behind
0950P03 those sharp moments with her, hovered the presence of a vague shadowy
0960P03 third figure... apart from Priti. ^Who was he? ^Did it matter?
0970P03 ^Had she been to_ bed with him? $"^Yes," she answered
0980P03 unequivocally. $^*I almost loved her for that_. ^For her frankness.
0990P03 ^You know the simpering blushes with which the most sophisticated
1000P03 of our women still try to_ hide a sexual secret. ^We just
1010P03 haven*'4t got to the point where we can take sex for granted, or a lapse
1020P03 as human, have we ever, indeed? ^*I had always met with prevarication.
1030P03 ^A few married women would tell me they had had affairs,
1040P03 but seldom an unmarried girl, out of a fear ingrained, I suppose, that
1050P03 if the information were to_ get around, their chances of marriage
1060P03 would diminish. ^And then-- oh, the shame of having to_ hear that
1070P03 I was the first-- "I don*'4t know how it happened," they would say,
1080P03 "I must care a lot," sort of thing-- when all evidence pointed
1090P03 to a tried, experienced past.... And then the excuses. "^It must
1100P03 be because I have always played a lot of games. ^It breaks because
1110P03 of that_, doesn*'4t it? ^Doesn*'4t it?" "^Yes, sure," I
1120P03 would say. ^*I never cared, anyhow. ^Not fundamentally.
1130P03 ^As I said I was concerned only with the immediate experience of physical
1140P03 reciprocation, and the accompanying, lustful sighs which were a recurrent
1150P03 balm for my ego. ^And the fact that they should never forget.
1160P03 ^Well. ^*Anasuya was different. ^*I was thrown off balance
1170P03 by her pride. ^She was not ashamed of anything, least of all of what
1180P03 she had told me. ^Nor was she boastful-- you know, the way some
1190P03 women are of an attitude of careless morality. ^*Anasuya did not pit
1200P03 sex against morality, or the other way round. ^But she had reservations,
1210P03 as I discovered later. ^That_*'1s where I came up against
1220P03 a blank wall. ^She wouldn't go to bed with me because there must be
1230P03 a final point left for the state of love. ^Can you believe it?
1240P03 ^*I tried many arguments to_ persuade her of the illogical premise of
1250P03 her argument, the principal one being that the manner in which I made
1260P03 love to her was or could be considered to_ be of a greater intensity
1270P03 than even the actual act of sex, but she remained adamant. ^Anything
1280P03 but that_, she said, and there were no tears, no hysteria, no change.
1290P03 ^She was like a rock. ^*I might even have told myself that
1300P03 she was cold at the core, had I not had the repeated evidence of her
1310P03 blissful, exuberant, spontaneous and yet deliriously climacteric love-play,
1320P03 though it was only up to the limits she had set upon me, and
1330P03 upon herself. $^But who was he? ^*I began to_ feel a current of
1340P03 resentment, as the days went by. ^Was it because of him that I
1350P03 couldn*'4t reach her? ^*I couldn*'4t get out of her, even in her
1360P03 wildest moments of surrender, an indication of my own victory. ^The
1370P03 sort of thing I was used to. ^The experience of conquest. ^She
1380P03 eluded me, and I began to_ fret. ^Who was he? $"a lawyer."
1390P03 $"^So?" $"^A Muslim." $"^What?" $"^Settled in New York
1400P03 though, and not a bigoted believer!" ^She smiled ruefully. $"^Well,
1410P03 then?" $"^They got me to_ come back, to_ prove to them that
1420P03 I could want him even after a separation and a cold appraisal, and now
1430P03 I can*'4t get out." $"^What do you mean you can*'4t get out?"
1440P03 $"oh-- there are ways. ^*Hysteria, threats, emotional blackmail."
1450P03 ^She was unwilling to_ discuss details. $"^Who are they?"
1460P03 $"^Family." $"^Can*'4t he come here?" $"^That_*'1s not the point.
1470P03 ^*I want them to_ agree." $"^Get letters?" $"^Yes."
1480P03 $"^What are you going to_ do?" $"^Wait." $"^What*'1s the use?"
1490P03 $"^Use? ^It*'1s not a quesion of use. ^Something is bound to_
1500P03 happen." $"^You*'3re very optimistic." $"^*I love him," she
1510P03 said simply. $^*I took her in my arms, so tenderly that_ day that
1520P03 she broke down. ^Almost. ^But quietly. ^Just eyes full of tears.
1530P03 ^But she began to_ kiss me passionately, till the pressure of the
1540P03 physical began to_ throb in me with fury, and it cleared the spell of sentiment.
1550P03 ^Or so I thought. ^For there remained throughout that_
1560P03 frenetic evening, a special feeling of warmth between us. ^Instead
1570P03 of making me uncomfortable, as it would have with Priti, it made me
1580P03 unaccountably elated, and there was a split second in which I saw within
1590P03 myself the lifting of a vacuum. $^*I was not in love with Ana.
1600P03 ^Oh no. ^How could I be, with my planning ways and my careful
1610P03 heart? ^And my whole strategic interests? ^But I met Anasuya
1620P03 every evening for the ten days that_ Priti was away. ^*I talked to
1630P03 her at length, made love to her at leisure, all within the accepted
1640P03 limitations, but the misture of an exchange of confidences and a basic
1650P03 restraint in sex started a yearning within me. ^*I told her about
1660P03 Priti, analyzing the eternal permutations of such a relationship with
1670P03 a detachment and clarity that I had never felt before, while Anasuya
1680P03 told me about Saadat, and the circumstances that_ led to her temporary
1690P03 renunciation of him, and her coming away.*#
        **[no. of words = 02030**]

        **[txt. p04**]
0010P04 **<*3MOLLY*0**>
0020P04 $*3^FOR*0 fifteen long years I lived on the things they served me in
0030P04 all those hotels. ^Morning, afternoon, evening, night: breakfast, lunch,
0040P04 tea, dinner, at all times I had to_ depend on 'eating homes' which catered
0050P04 to my appetite and in doing so ruined it slowly, completely. $^*I
0060P04 had came to a stage when I firmly believed that I was eating only because
0070P04 I had to_ and I knew that eating good food was synonymous with
0080P04 a good marriage to a good girl who would ultimately (with some luck) make
0090P04 a good wife, a good cook. ^My problem was finding a good girl first.
0100P04 $^For one whole year I suffered from consistent stomach upsets, till
0110P04 I could no longer bear it. ^All the remedies, those suggested by friends,
0120P04 interested relatives, doctors, nurses and to_ be **[sic**] doctors
0130P04 proved of no avail. $^Then one day, in sheer disgust, I called on the
0140P04 elderly doctor who was my family doctor when I had a family. ^He was
0150P04 surprised to_ see me. ^*I had never seen him or any other doctor for
0160P04 that_ matter for nearly twelve years. ^Whenever there was something
0170P04 minor, like a cut or a headache I went to my neighbour, a pretty nurse
0180P04 in a local municipal hospital, who for some mysterious (to me) reasons
0190P04 stayed a spinster. $^*I told the doctor (who had aged and was trembling
0200P04 slightly) about the plight of my stomach. ^He rubbed his hand
0210P04 round my stomach then looked up and quietly asked. $"^What do you eat?"
0220P04 $^*I knew he would ask me that_ question and had my answer ready,
0230P04 on the tip of my tongue, as they say. $"*3^WHATEVER*0 they
0240P04 serve in the hotels where I have been eating for years," I said and
0250P04 before I could proceed he said "Why don*'4t you get married?
0260P04 ^What you need is good home-made food and that_, only a woman can give
0270P04 you. ^You know your parents were my friends. ^So if you care for
0280P04 my advice it is high time you found a good girl to_ go home with you
0290P04 as your wife... ^A girl who could take care of you, cook for you?
0300P04 ^Anyway, if you continue eating in those hotels you are in for trouble
0310P04 my boy," he said while he wrote out a long prescription. ^*I
0320P04 thanked him for his sane advice (knowing fully well that I would never
0330P04 take it) and walked out worried. $^The next three days I spent most
0340P04 of my time thinking seriously about things like marriage and food and the
0350P04 imminent danger that_ was ahead. ^*I thought of the number of girls
0360P04 who came into my life at various times, girls whom I was tempted to_
0370P04 propose to, girls who said they loved me and relations who brought proposals
0380P04 of girls whose fathers were willing to_ offer me dowries varying from
0390P04 fifty thousand to a *4lakh of *4rupees. ^*I imagined all of them
0400P04 as wives and ruled them out like I always had. $^Then I thought of
0410P04 Molly, the girl whom I loved even more than I had loved my mother and
0420P04 I knew I worshipped her and therefore could never marry her. ^And
0421P04 the mental debate went on till one night I was sitting alone nursing
0430P04 my drink and the solution came like a brainwave.
0440P04 ^*I decided to_ work on it the next day and had a peaceful
0450P04 night*'s sleep. $*3^THE*0 next day I woke up fresh, shaved, washed,
0460P04 got into my best clothes, (a rarity with me) called a taxi and drove
0470P04 to Saint Catherine*'s home, my destination, the hope for my salvation.
0480P04 ^*I rang the bell on the door leading to the parlour. ^A young
0490P04 woman smiled and said "yes". ^*I said I wanted to_ see Mother Superior,
0500P04 Sister Marceline. ^She led me in, made me comfortable and
0510P04 went to_ look for Mother as I took in the details of the parlour which
0520P04 was to me a picture of tidiness at its best. ^There was a row of frames
0530P04 from which Jesus Christ and some other saints looked down benevolently.
0540P04 $^*Mother Superior was also a friend of the family, (when it
0550P04 was there) a counsellor, a mother and much more. ^It was nearly seven
0560P04 or eight years since, I had last seen her and I was visualising
0570P04 the changes that_ could have taken place when she gracefully swept into
0580P04 the room. $^For a minute I couldn*'4t say a word. ^*I just looked
0590P04 at her and she smiled through her eyes. ^She had not changed.
0600P04 ^She recognised me and I was surprised. $^Then over cups of tea we
0610P04 talked about my problems. ^*I told her I wanted an elderly woman,
0620P04 an inmate of her home, to_ work for me, to_ stay with me. ^The
0630P04 important thing is she must know how to_ cook, I said. ^*Mother looked
0640P04 at me closely and asked me if I was still a bachelor. ^*I said
0650P04 yes. ^And she asked me what work I was doing and the salary I was
0660P04 drawing and the kind of house I had. ^*I answered all her questions
0670P04 as if I were facing an interview. $"*3^PLEASE*0 see me after three
0680P04 days and I*'3ll do something," she said. ^And I knew she
0690P04 would do something... for me. $^Those "three days" I continued eating
0700P04 in those hotels which I began to_ loathe and dreamt of the day of my
0710P04 deliverance. ^On the fourth day I went to_ see Mother Superior
0720P04 ^She received me with a pat on my back and smiled that_ benign smile.
0721P04 ^*I knew all was well. ^She pressed a button, the bell
0730P04 rang and a little girl came running. ^*Mother asked
0740P04 the girl to_ call Molly, (this name has charmed me all my life).
0750P04 ^And again I was lost in the world of imagination, imagining this
0760P04 being called Molly who would be about forty or forty-five, with no one
0770P04 in the world and eager to_ serve with a smile and all that_. $^*Molly
0780P04 came in and I could not believe my eyes. $"^This is Molly"
0790P04 Mother Superior said and this is \0Mr.... ^*Molly smiled and shook
0800P04 hands. ^*I could not understand what Mother Superior was upto.
0810P04 $^Then she said: "Molly is a very good cook and she has a good
0820P04 background and she will give you no cause for complaint." $^*I was
0830P04 listening to all that_ and looking at Molly who was looking at the floor
0840P04 all the time. $*3^MOLLY*0 was hardly twenty, had a fully formed
0850P04 body with her hair flowing right down to her knees. ^Her eyes
0860P04 were full of life and she had one of the sweetest smiles I had seen.
0870P04 $^*I tried to_ tell Mother Superior what I felt about Molly. ^But
0880P04 before I could even try she read my thoughts and said: "Don*'4t
0890P04 worry my son, I know what*'1s worrying you, everything will be alright
0900P04 **[sic**] by the grace of God." $^Then looking at Molly she said:
0910P04 $"^*I hope you have got your bags ready." ^She sent for a taxi.
0920P04 ^The taxi came, her bags were put in and Mother Superior came to_
0930P04 see her off. ^*Molly put her arms round mother, and cried. ^*Mother
0940P04 consoled her, then looked at me and said: $"Molly is one of
0950P04 my best girls, look after her and whenever there is any problem, remember
0960P04 me." $^All the way home Molly tried to_ control her tears or so
0970P04 it seemed and the taxi driver looked at me from time to time, his eyes full
0980P04 of suspicion. $^The previous evening I had tried my best to_ keep
0990P04 my two rooms a little more neat. ^A woman was coming home for the first
1000P04 time in seven years. $^*I had nearly lost that_ feeling, the feeling
1010P04 of having a woman at home. ^The last woman was my mother. ^And
1020P04 Molly was just twenty. $^And all the while I looked out of the
1030P04 window of the taxi and was immersed in thought. ^What would my orthodox
1040P04 neighbours say? ^How would I adjust to Molly? ^What were her
1050P04 likes and dislikes? ^How long would she stay with me? ^Would
1060P04 she tolerate my habits, late comings, drinking, smoking, working till late
1070P04 in the night? ^*I was nervous. ^*I wanted the cab to_ go on and
1080P04 on. ^It did not. ^*I asked the driver to_ stop. ^We had reached
1090P04 home. ^*Molly looked relieved and I was tense as all the neighbours*'
1100P04 wives and even their children looked at me as if I was a new man,
1110P04 a stranger. $*3^*I WALKED*0 ahead carrying Molly*'s luggage,
1120P04 she followed and soon we were in my house. ^*I asked her to_ relax,
1130P04 brought her a glass of water and the expression on her face changed.
1140P04 $"^*I didn*'4t ask for it" she said with that_ sweet smile on her face.
1150P04 $"^*I knew you would be tired and right now that_ is the only thing
1160P04 I can offer you," I said. $"^But I am going to_ work for you
1170P04 to_ relieve you of such trivial things," she said. $"^So what?"
1180P04 ^*I said. "^No one works for no one," I stammered senselessly
1190P04 as I took in her whole self and suddenly found she was more beautiful
1200P04 than I thought she was. $^She settled down, went round both my rooms,
1210P04 surveyed the things that_ were there and said: "I am going to_
1220P04 give this place a new look. ^Just you wait and see." ^Then she
1230P04 gave me a list of the things she would need. ^*I asked her to_ make
1240P04 a list assuming that she was literate. "^*I am not very educated"
1250P04 she said with an accent that_ reminded me of Mother Superior. $"^Just
1260P04 seventh standard and that_ year I failed#" she continued but made
1270P04 a small list with some faulty spellings. ^Then she had one look at
1280P04 the books strewn all over the place and asked. "^What do you do with
1290P04 all these books?" $"^What does anyone do with books?" ^*I asked
1300P04 and told her. $"^Most of them I have read, some of them are still
1310P04 to_ be read and one I am reading". ^*Molly wanted to_ know the worth
1320P04 of reading books. ^*I said I would explain that_ some other time.
1330P04 ^In just one day I lost all my complexes and fears of adjusting to
1340P04 her. ^*Molly became a friend. $"^It would be nice to_ work for you,
1350P04 to_ cook for you" she said and I said, "I hope so." ^*I told
1360P04 her to_ take charge of the other room where there was a bed which had
1370P04 not been slept on for years. "^It is all yours", I said, and she
1380P04 looked pleased. ^Days passed like they always pass... fast. ^*Molly
1390P04 got used to my whims and fancies. ^She cleaned the house, looked
1400P04 after my needs and she gave me what I needed most then... good food.
1410P04 $*3^FOR*0 the first time I felt like coming home (now that it
1420P04 was a real home) straight from office because of Molly.
1421P04 ^*I took a liking for her differnt kind of liking, bordering
1430P04 on love but not really love. ^It was a strange relationship. $^For
1440P04 some days she never interfered in the work I did, reading or writing,
1450P04 till late in the night. ^Then one day, she woke up at two, came straight
1460P04 to my table put off the table lamp and said: "^*I cannot stand
1470P04 this... working in the office, working here, and that_ too at this time
1480P04 of the night. ^Whom are you working for so hard? ^What is it that_
1490P04 is driving you to_ work like this?" $^*I put on the light again
1500P04 and said, Molly. ^She was taken aback. $^It was only the next
1510P04 morning that I told her about the other Molly who occupied my thoughts
1520P04 my whole being. ^She was touched. ^For some unknown reason, tears
1530P04 welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. ^She put her hand
1540P04 on my shoulder and said. "I am sorry." "^*I never knew why she
1550P04 said that_, but those three words were like caresses to me. $^More time
1560P04 passed and people began talking, the women specially, I was told.*#**[no.
1570P04 of words = 02002**]

        **[txt. p05**]
0010P05 **<*3A PRIVATE SUNDAY*0**>
0020P05 $*3^IT*0 had stopped raining. ^The clouds had cleared to_ show
0030P05 a blue sky on a radiant evening. ^The cluster of multicoloured lights
0040P05 which hung from the branches of a tree in the public square gleamed
0050P05 clear and bright. ^People who had scurried under shop awnings or had
0060P05 slipped into hotels for an unwanted cup of tea to_ buy their protection
0070P05 against the rain now came out in great relief. ^It was Sunday.
0080P05 ^The rain had come as a damper but now the holiday spirit revived and the
0090P05 street was crowded again. $^*Naresh and Sushma had left their
0100P05 children-- the eldest was ten-year-old Kavita-- with their grandmother
0110P05 and come out for an evening stroll. ^At first the children had
0120P05 balked at being left behind. ^They insisted on accompanying their
0130P05 parents. ^But the couple seldom enjoyed privacy in their small two-roomed
0140P05 quarter **[sic**] in the mill workers*' *4chawl and had wanted to_ be
0150P05 free from all constraints. ^True, this was their own brood. ^But
0160P05 they had their own lives, too, to_ take care of. ^So when Kavita
0170P05 wouldn*'4t listen to reason and started crying, Naresh gave her a
0180P05 resounding slap after which he and Sushma made an agitated exit. ^It
0190P05 began to_ rain as soon as they alighted from the bus and they had to_ run
0200P05 for shelter under the cement roof of the petrol supply station.
0210P05 $"^Quite a send-off Kavita gave us," Naresh muttered resentfully, looking
0220P05 at Sushma for an agreeable response. ^She heaved a long sigh.
0230P05 ^*Naresh was disappointed at her silence but said nothing. ^He
0240P05 knew that in the grim world in which he lived, his wife alone provided
0250P05 him the emotional anchor he needed. ^But Sushma was thinking of
0260P05 Kavita. ^With great difficulty she deflected the waves of sympathy
0270P05 and pity that_ troubled her soul. ^*Naresh had hit their daughter
0280P05 unusually hard in a fit of anger. ^But if Sushma at all revealed
0290P05 her disquiet, it would jeopardise the entire Sunday evening which
0300P05 Naresh valued like religious people their gods and dogmas. $^The
0310P05 difference between the two was that while Naresh viewed every incident
0320P05 in isolation, Sushma took even the most minor occurrence as part of
0330P05 the whole murk that_ enveloped them in the mill workers*' *4chawl.
0340P05 ^Obviously if their living accommodation had been adequate, Naresh would
0350P05 not have carried his longing for a few private hours with her to the
0360P05 point of beating an innocent child who, too, wished to_ escape the hell
0370P05 that_ was their home-- permeated as it was by oily and rancid cooking
0380P05 smells by the sound of drunken brawls and nasty and vulgar exchanges
0390P05 in the adjacent rooms. ^*Sushma felt a deep sympathy for both Naresh and
0400P05 Kavita. ^*Naresh himself never analysed a problem but burst into
0410P05 temper every time something irritated him. $*3^ONCE*0, on
0420P05 a rainy night, Sushma had left Kavita*'s bed and just crossed that_
0430P05 of her two sons on her way to Naresh. ^Her movement had woken up
0440P05 Kavita, who was used to sleeping with her. ^Many times the child
0450P05 instinctively got up the moment her mother rose to_ use the toilet.
0460P05 ^So that_ day, too, she was disturbed in her sleep and cried, "I knoow
0470P05 what you are up to!" $^The unerring insight and accusation of the
0480P05 precocious child had stunned the parents for a few minutes and their faces
0490P05 had coloured with shame in the darkness of the night. ^Even Sushma
0500P05 was tempted to_ box her little girl, but desisted when she realised
0510P05 that the punishment would declare their nocturnal intentions to the entire
0520P05 neighbourhood. $^In fact, such incidents happened quite often
0530P05 in the colony, but the residents accepted them as part of their normal
0540P05 life. ^Each family had a vast number of children who swarmed everywhere
0550P05 like irritating flies during the rainy season. ^*Naresh and Sushma,
0560P05 lower middle class themselves-- Sushma worked as a teacher in a primary
0570P05 school and received two hundred *4rupees though she signed for four
0580P05 hundred-- often wondered how the mill workers succeeded in producing
0590P05 their litters **[sic**] year after year. ^But their own arrangements were
0600P05 far from satisfactory. ^They hung an old *4sari as some sort of a curtain
0610P05 between two cots. ^That_ veiled the scene from curious eyes but
0620P05 could not possibly stifle the sighs and groans. ^The old men and women
0630P05 who lived with their earning sons and daughters were, of course, used
0640P05 to this time-honoured practice which they themselves had piously followed.
0650P05 ^They generally slept in the kitchen and were awake when the lovers
0660P05 went for a wash into the bathroom attached to the kitchen.
0670P05 $^*Naresh and Sushma often discussed the traumatic effect such revelations
0680P05 could have on their children. ^Would they carry a sense of resentment
0690P05 and grievance against their parents into adulthood? ^Probably
0700P05 this was one reason why children from the locality took to black-marketing
0710P05 in cinema tickets or pickpocketing. ^Once Sushma had heard a fifteen-year-old
0720P05 boy answering his mother. "^Why lecture me when you were
0730P05 up all night yourself?" ^The middle-aged mother had blushed in the
0740P05 presence of several other women who had burst into laughter. $^What
0750P05 would happen to the children if they continued to_ live here? ^They
0760P05 had already been exposed to the worst kind of abuses. ^And no matter
0770P05 how aloof one kept from the neighbours, one could not possibly prevent
0780P05 things from happening within their own four walls. ^They had three
0790P05 children, Kavita slept with Sushma, two sons on a cot by themselvs
0800P05 and Naresh himself on a small string cot. $^His own experience was
0810P05 bitter. ^Once he had gone to the bathroom in the night. ^What
0820P05 he had witnessed in the kitchen had almost maddened him. ^He found
0830P05 his mother and father locked in a passionate embrace, rustling against each
0840P05 other. ^He was filled with violent revulsion. $^It took Naresh
0850P05 many days to_ get rid of that_ hangover, which took its toll of him
0860P05 in the small newspaper office where he worked. ^His mind was in such
0870P05 turmoil that during night duty he had given a wrong headline to a lead
0880P05 story which had made the paper ridiculous in the whole city. ^The editor
0890P05 had taken him to task and branded him as an incompetent sub-editor.
0900P05 ^The reprimand had wounded him like an arrow. ^His agony was boundless,
0910P05 for journalism was to him a vocation. ^He could neither explain
0920P05 the whole situation to the editor nor could he accept his rebuke.
0930P05 $^For a brief moment he had thought of writing out his resignation and
0940P05 throwing it in the face of the editor. ^But the next moment his anger
0950P05 vanished. ^Sushma brought home only two hundred *4rupees, while he
0960P05 himself earned a total of two hundred and fifty. ^It did not help matters
0970P05 that the management of Sushma*'s school, at the time of every annual
0980P05 social, issued supplements to the newspapers applauding the virtues
0990P05 of honesty and dedication which were inculcated by the school. ^It made
1000P05 him want to_ tear his hair. ^Many of his own friends, unlike him, **[sic**]
1010P05 had stuck to the steel plant job and were now earning more than a
1020P05 thousand rupees a month. ^But now there was no alternative for him.
1030P05 ^He had to_ hang on to his job. ^And it was perhaps fortunate that
1040P05 his father had died, for a repetition of that_ night*'s incident would have
1050P05 driven him completely mad and he would have been forced to_ resign
1060P05 for repeated instances of incompetence. $^Things could have been worse,
1070P05 he supposed. ^The tragedy could be compounded if the school management
1080P05 suddenly decided to_ terminate Sushma*'s services: she had been kept
1090P05 on as a temporary hand despite five years at the job, though her colleagues
1100P05 had been confirmed in three! ^Wasn*'4t it said that disasters
1110P05 seldom came singly but in battalions? ^He was prepared for anything.
1120P05 $*3^WHEN*0 the rain stopped they came out of the petrol supply
1130P05 station. "^Let*'3s go to Rasvanti," Naresh suggested. ^It
1140P05 was an open air restaurant which had not yet closed though summer was over.
1150P05 ^The old wooden benches that_ lay in the open courtyard would
1160P05 be drenched with rain. ^*Sushma looked at him curiously, questioning
1170P05 his choice, but walked along with him. $^In the restaurant she sat
1180P05 opposite him. ^That_ was the proper thing to_ do. ^But Naresh insisted
1190P05 that she sit beside him. ^Embarrassed, she obeyed him. ^She
1200P05 didn*'4t want to_ disturb his composure which he had regained with great
1210P05 difficulty. $^Within a few minutes of her shifting to his side
1220P05 the city lights went off. ^Power failure due to rain. ^*Naresh
1230P05 moved his hand on her thigh and with the other he began to rub her shoulders,
1240P05 reaching for her breasts. ^There was nothing to_ fear because there
1250P05 was total darkness and they were the only pair in the restaurant.
1260P05 ^But he was disconcerted and pulled himself together when he saw the
1270P05 bearer coming towards the table with a candle. $"^Damn!" he muttered
1280P05 under his breath. ^But Sushma felt relieved with the arrival of the
1290P05 bearer with the light and gave a wan smile. ^They soon finished their
1300P05 tea. $^Once again the question arose: where should they go?
1310P05 ^It was Sushma who asked the question, smiling a little satirically
1320P05 at Naresh*'s discomfiture. ^He didn*'4t seem to_ mind it, for the
1330P05 few moments of closeness with Sushma had lightened his mood. "^Let*'3s
1340P05 go to Maharaja Baug," he suggested. $"^What do you mean!
1350P05 ^The park in such heavy rains? ^Where will we sit? ^The grass will
1360P05 be terribly wet and the whole place slushy. ^Only imbeciles go there
1370P05 in the rain," Sushma replied, amused and surprised. $"^Nonsense!"
1380P05 ^*Naresh was not prepared to_ accept the wisdom of her words
1390P05 and they walked a furlong towards the garden. ^Though the lights had
1400P05 returned, the evening had deepened and Sushma was thinking how odd it
1410P05 would look to_ go to the park. ^Hardly anyone visited it at this time
1420P05 of the season. $^When they entered the garden they had to_ walk through
1430P05 puddles and pools which had welled up in the ground. ^On both sides
1440P05 of the mud trail tall blades of rain-sodden grass smelt dank and depressing
1450P05 and chilled the soul. ^There was no one in sight. ^Under
1460P05 a large banyan tree, where the darkness had folded deeper, Naresh wiped
1470P05 the water off a bench and they sat together. ^He suddenly pulled
1480P05 her on his knees. $"^Oh no, somebody will see," Sushma cried out.
1490P05 $"^Don*'4t be such a fool!" ^*Naresh said huskily his voice strained
1500P05 and struggling through clenched teeth, while his eyes burnt with
1510P05 desire. ^*Sushma felt nervous. ^Why was he behaving in this manner
1520P05 in a public place? ^They were not hippies, after all! ^He drew
1530P05 his face resolutely close to hers, and began imprinting kisses on her
1540P05 lips when a shrieking whistle rode over the damp air, followed by the
1550P05 gardener*'s grim voice: "^The time for sitting in the garden is up!"
1560P05 $"^Oh hell," groaned Naresh and tried to_ hold her hand but
1570P05 she snatched it away. ^The gardener came nearer. ^He seemed a decent
1580P05 sort. ^It was not unheard of that unscrupulous watchmen blackmailed
1590P05 lonely couples by accusing them of fornication in public places.
1600P05 $^For the third time the question arose: where could they go? "^Home",
1610P05 Sushma replied. $"^Nonsense," Naresh retorted. "^Why
1620P05 not go to a late night movie? ^We can choose one which is not likely
1630P05 to_ be crowded." ^*Sushma had to_ yield. $*3^THEY*0 went to_
1640P05 see a very old film which was running for the fifty-second week. ^They
1650P05 bought tickets for the balcony seats where fortunately, they found
1660P05 themselves alone. ^*Naresh became more and more aggressive. ^Even
1670P05 Sushma lost her self-control and began to_ respond to his urgent hands
1680P05 in the security of darkness. ^And when nobody appeared on the balcony
1690P05 even half an hour after the commencement of the film, Naresh decided
1700P05 to_ have what was denied him at home. $^When the film was over it was
1710P05 1 \0a.m. ^The buses which carried them to their colony at 30 *4paise
1720P05 each had stopped plying at 10 \0p.m.*#
        **[no. of words = 01991**]

        **[txt. p06**]
0030P06 **<*3The Duel*0**> $**[leader comment begin**]
0040P06 $*3^Her resistance had been inexplicable, her surrender made even less sense.
0050P06 ^Why had she come to him that_ night?*0 **[end leader comment**]
0060P06 $"*3^OH,*0 come on," I said brusquely. ^We were sitting
0070P06 on the porch of her house. ^The setting was so picturesque as
0080P06 to_ be almost banal. ^Tendrils of bougainvillaea were trailing down
0090P06 the roof of the porch. ^Its flowers looked, in the moonlight, unabashedly
0100P06 artifical. ^A full moon had just risen and hung low in the sky,
0110P06 a large orange dollop, stagey and unreal. ^The fragrance of various
0120P06 flowers was wafted to us from the garden. ^The right setting for
0130P06 a declaration of love. $^Yet, as a writer, I wouldn*'4t have used it.
0140P06 ^*I*'1d have chosen instead a dingy restaurant, a crowded bus or
0150P06 train. ^Anything to_ move away from the cliches. ^But here we were,
0160P06 trapped in this romantic milieu to which, I felt, neither of us really
0170P06 belonged. $"^Well?" ^*I Waited impatiently for her response.
0180P06 ^*I*'3ve met with a variety of them in my time. ^This one was an
0190P06 almost total lack of response. $"^No, thank you," she said matter-of-factly.
0200P06 ^As if I had offered her something to_ eat. ^But it
0210P06 was she who had fed me to repletion about an hour ago. ^So that I should
0220P06 have been lazily content. ^Instead, I was all on edge. $^*I
0230P06 picked up an apple from the table between us. "^Why not?" ^*I
0240P06 asked savagely. "^Surely you don*'4t believe in all this morality
0250P06 business? ^A bourgeois concept like that_?" ^A good thrust, I thought.
0260P06 ^Nothing needles a person as much as being called a bourgeois.
0270P06 ^But she didn*'4t stir. $"^Or maybe you believe in a husband*'s
0280P06 monopoly?" ^*I drawled. $"^Monopoly?" ^The retort was sharp.
0290P06 ^"what am I?" ^After a pause she spoke again. ^And it
0300P06 was as if she had sheathed her sword. "^No, it has nothing to_ do with
0310P06 morality. ^It*'1s more simple. ^*I don*'4t feel like it."
0320P06 $^Her voice had a kind of soft huskiness that_ added an odd significance
0330P06 to her simplest words. ^Now they lingered between us while I
0340P06 took another bite of the apple. $"^Tchah!" ^*I flung it angrily
0350P06 away from me. "^Flat!" $^It gave me a thrill, an ecstacy almost,
0360P06 like effortless writing on a clear sheet of paper. ^Or was it
0370P06 more like fighting a duel? ^*I did*'4t really know. "^Why not?"
0380P06 ^*I now reiterated with maddening insistence. $"^*I just
0390P06 told you. ^And besides," she suddenly roused herself out of her somnolence
0400P06 and retorted with spirit, "if I did, what would you do but
0410P06 make use of me in your writing? ^Wouldn*'4t you?" $^*I laughed
0420P06 lazily. "^Perhaps. ^And what*'1s wrong with that_? ^*I get
0430P06 you out of my system that_ way and you get out of your frustrations."
0440P06 $"^Frustrations? ^*I*'3m not frustrated." $"^If you aren*'4t,
0450P06 you should be," I said impatiently. ^What was the use of all this
0460P06 verbal sparring? "^*I mean, everyone is." $"^*I*'3m not.
0470P06 ^*I*'3m just bored. ^Utterly bored. ^There was a time when
0480P06 I tried to_ find a meaning in everything. ^Now I feel everything
0490P06 ends in absurdity. ^No, I can*'4t believe in anything."
0500P06 $"^You don*'4t have to_ believe in anything, do you, to_ go to bed
0510P06 with me?" ^*I brought her firmly back to the point. $^She moved
0520P06 suddenly. ^*I could see the stone on her ring flash in the dark.
0530P06 ^But I had an illusion that it was not her ring but her eyes that
0540P06 flashed fire at me. ^Now, I thought, we will see the outraged female.
0550P06 $"^What!" she exclaimed. "^Not even in you?" $^Her voice
0560P06 was unexpectedly rough. ^Was there a hint of laughter in it?
0570P06 ^Certainly, there was no shock or outrage in her tone. ^*I tried
0580P06 to_ see her face, while she went on with her own thoughts, "And anyway,
0590P06 that_*'1s so commonplace as to_ be almost a cliche, isn*'4t it?
0600P06 ^If you can call an idea a cliche...?" $"^What idea?" $"^That a
0610P06 woman who is bored needs to_ have a child. ^Or lover. ^Or a Mission
0620P06 In Life." $^Strange... I couldn*'4t see her face, but I could
0630P06 almost see those capital letters. "^Sometimes, cliches are true.
0640P06 ^Most often they are. ^That_*'1s how they become cliches," I said
0650P06 somewhat lamely. $"^You fool," she suddenly flashed at me. "^And I
0660P06 thought you were perceptive." $"^*I am. ^*I guessed you were
0670P06 bored. ^*I*'3m offering you a panacea for it." $"^Like a doctor
0680P06 with a prescription. ^So many doses of sex for this woman."
0690P06 ^Her voice rose. "^Is life lived only on the physical plane?"
0700P06 $"^What else?" $"^Yes, what else?" ^She moved restlessly in her
0710P06 chair. "^Which means my existence ends with my body*'s dissolution.
0720P06 ^When I*'3m gone....." she said the words thoughtfully, lingering
0730P06 over them, "when I*'3m gone, I leave no trace behind. ^*I could
0740P06 see her ring gleam in the dark as she rippled her fingers lightly
0750P06 in the air. "^So what*'1s it all about?" $^*I checked my impulse
0760P06 to_ laugh. ^This was a new line to me. ^You ask a woman for her
0770P06 body and she tries to_ lead you into metaphysics. $"^Why do you want
0780P06 me?" she asked me abruptly, as if she had read my thoughts. $"^Why?
0790P06 ^For one thing, I find you sexually exciting." ^That_
0800P06 wasn*'4t strictly true. ^*I found the thought of arousing her out of
0810P06 her placidity exciting. $^She met this calmly. "^What do I
0820P06 get from you that_ I don*'4t get from my husband?" $^Now I was outraged.
0830P06 ^It was all right for me to_ be cynical. ^Not for her.
0840P06 "^*I bet you he*'1s dull." ^*I said, deliberately coarse. $"^And
0850P06 you promise me you won*'4t be?" ^She moved forward into the moonlight.
0860P06 ^*I could see that her eyebrows were raised. ^Her face,
0870P06 absolutely pale in the moonlight, looked not beautiful, but intimate.
0880P06 ^And I saw her for the first time as a human being, not as a
0890P06 woman. ^It was like a door opening and the room inside was very familiar.
0900P06 ^And suddenly, most unwillingly, I knew why. she had the
0910P06 same look of innocence my mother had had. ^To me, my mother had been
0920P06 pure and undefiled. ^Until that_ night. $*3^WHY*0 had I been
0930P06 in their room-- I don*'4t remember. ^But I can distinctly remember
0940P06 that I woke up to hear odd sounds coming from the dark. ^*I had
0950P06 been terrified, more so when I recognised my mother*'s voice. ^Hoarse,
0960P06 unrecognisable, saying something incoherent. ^And there had
0970P06 been another sound too. ^My father breathing loudly. ^Panting almost.
0980P06 $^When do children lose their innocence? ^*I was, I suppose,
0990P06 eight or nine then. ^But I knew what it was. ^*I have never
1000P06 believed in the innocence of women since. $^*I thrust the memory
1010P06 away resolutely. "^Yes," I said, feeling I was closing a door.
1020P06 "^*I promise you I won*'4t be dull." $"you don*'4t talk of love."
1030P06 ^She settled back in her chair. ^Had she realised I had
1040P06 closed the door? $"^Love!" $"^What would you writers do without
1050P06 love? ^And you say *3love*0 like that_." $"^*I*'3m being honest
1060P06 with you. ^*I don*'4t wrap up my desire in fancy wrappings and coloured
1070P06 ribbons." $"^What you really mean is that to_ escape the pointlessness
1080P06 of my life, I should drift into an equally pointless affair with
1090P06 you." $"^Drift? ^No, I ask you to_ choose with deliberation."
1100P06 $"^Choose?" ^Now she repeated the word and she seemed to_ be mocking
1110P06 me. "^*I*'3ve never done that_ in my life. ^*I*'3ve always
1120P06 drifted." $^At this point her husband came out. "^What are you
1130P06 two discussing so seriously?" he asked, taking a chair on the other
1140P06 side of the table. ^He was like the third point of a triangle.
1150P06 ^Which wasn*'4t there. $"^Nothing," she replied calmly. "^Just
1160P06 the reason for existence." $"^But why in the dark?" ^He switched
1170P06 on the light. ^*I blinked. ^*I was furious with him. ^And
1180P06 her. $"^Actually," I spoke slowly, "I was making love to your
1190P06 wife." ^He laughed. ^She gave him, and me too, an odd look I
1200P06 couldn*'4t fathom. $*3^*I WENT home nettled. ^This was almost
1210P06 the first time a woman had put me off. ^And for no reason at all.
1220P06 ^It was like brushing off a cobweb. ^Her resistance added spice
1230P06 to the affair, though. ^*I had to_ go on. ^What was she?
1240P06 ^An enigma? ^No, no woman is ever that_. ^*I was certain she
1250P06 would come to me. ^And then I would know again that strange mixture
1260P06 of anger, disappointment and contempt which is always for me the beginning
1270P06 of the end. $^*I proved right. ^She walked in one day.
1280P06 ^Casually, nonchalantly. ^*I treated her the same way. ^The next
1290P06 move was up to her. ^*I could see she had come prepared for something.
1300P06 ^There was a quality of stillness about her, different from
1310P06 her usual indolence. ^It was as if she was simmering behind that_
1320P06 placid facade. ^And there was something else. ^A kind of rigiditty
1330P06 that_ reminded me of a frightened child. $^Then she spoke.
1340P06 "^Well?" that_ was all. ^That_ and a queer smile. ^She had dark
1350P06 circles, I noticed almost like bruises, around her eyes. ^But her mouth
1360P06 was soft and full like that_ of a young girl in her teens. $"^Well?"
1370P06 ^*I looked at her questioningly, determined not to_ help her.
1380P06 $"^What next?" she said, as naive as a child. $^And that_ was
1390P06 that_! ^Her resistance had been inexplicable. ^Now her surrender
1400P06 was unexpected. ^But I had no desire to_ probe. ^Just to_ take
1410P06 what she offered me. $^She let me do what I wanted with her.
1420P06 ^She seemed totally unconcerned and detached as I went on. ^It annoyed
1430P06 me. ^*I*'3m no connoisseur of female beauty. ^They all look
1440P06 good to me. ^So did this one. ^But her face puzzled me. ^It
1450P06 was so expressionless, it looked like the sketch of a face with the eyes
1460P06 left out. ^As if she wasn*'4t there at all. $"^Is life lived
1470P06 only on the physical plane?" her own question came back to me. ^And
1480P06 suddenly I was filled with a savage fury. ^Why had she come if she
1490P06 was so disinterested? $^And, all at once, she was not. ^Disinterested,
1500P06 I mean. ^There was a frantic quality about her that_ belied
1510P06 her usual indolence. ^There was nothing passive about her now.
1520P06 ^Nothing. $^It was much later, when the euphoria that_ had overcome
1530P06 me was passing away, that I said, "So you decided to_ try the
1540P06 cliche, after all?" $^She sat up abruptly in bed with a magnificent
1550P06 disregard for her nakedness. ^A kind of startled pain leapt into her
1560P06 eyes. ^It was like something filling a vacuum. ^For a second,
1570P06 I found myself submerged in that_ pain of hers. ^Then she lay back
1580P06 again, silent, refraining from saying what she had wanted to_.
1590P06 $^After a while she spoke in a normal tone. "^You were right."
1600P06 $"^Right?" ^*I lay drowsily drifting between sleep and waking.
1610P06 $"^Bodies.... that_*'1s all we are. ^There*'1s nothing else."
1620P06 $"^Did I say that_?" I was idly incurious. $"^Yes. ^But if that_*'1s
1630P06 true, why is this.... all this... so meaningless? where*'1s the
1640P06 meaning, then?" $*3^*I was suddenly drowsy no more. ^*I ignored
1650P06 the angry despair of her tone and concentrated only on her words.
1660P06 ^So the duel was still on, was it? ^And she would wallow in guilt,
1670P06 enjoying it, and expect me to_ enjoy it too. ^But I had my own way
1680P06 of dealing with that_ kind of masochism. "^What kind of a meaning
1690P06 did you expect?" ^And I chuckled loudly. $"^What was that_ for?"
1700P06 $"^*I was thinking of the wronged husband. ^*I*'3m sure he*'3ll
1710P06 tell what this means." $"^Wronged husband?" ^The high note
1720P06 of interrogation expressed genuine surprise. ^Didn*'4t she know
1730P06 whom I meant? ^*I turned to her. ^She was lying utterly still,
1740P06 arms folded on her breasts, immovable as a corpse. ^And then, with
1750P06 a swift movement, she turned to me, propped her face on her fists and
1760P06 said. "^*I haven*'4t wronged anyone." ^And for the second time
1770P06 there was a crack in the glazed surface. ^Emotion seeped through
1780P06 it. ^*I refused to_ meet it. ^Or recognise it. $"^Haven*'4t
1790P06 you?" ^*I asked, smiling lightly. ^And now, I thought, she
1800P06 will tell me how unworthy he is, how unloving, unreceptive....*#
        **[no. of words = 02014**]

        **[txt. p07**]
0020P07 **<*3The Salesman**>
0030P07 $*3^*I think I am a born salesman. ^*I am very grateful to god to_have
0040P07 found a job to my liking, because job satisication means a lot in
0050P07 one*'s life. ^*I know for instance, that my friend Mani works only
0060P07 for the sake of his daily bread. ^He comes to the shop not out of
0070P07 choice. ^Given a choice he would chuck up this job for any other.
0080P07 ^He does nothing to_ promote the sales. ^Sometimes he even goes out
0090P07 of the way to_ spoil a customer*'s mood by criticising his taste, or
0100P07 displaying the goods most unwillingly. ^*I am often so irritated
0110P07 by his rude, stand-offish, indifferent behaviour, that I find myself
0120P07 at his counter doing his work also. ^He does not mind it and I rather
0130P07 like it. ^The management of course notices my enthusiasm, good
0140P07 humour and polite behaviour and I am commended for these qualities at
0150P07 the general body meetings of our staff association. $^*Mani
0160P07 is not a happy man at home either. ^He is always complaining about
0170P07 his wife. ^Yesterday, he said, she was not home when he returned
0180P07 after a hard day*'s work. ^Still worse, she had not prepared dinner
0190P07 for him. ^She came half an hour later, saying she had gone to her sister*'s
0200P07 house to_ help her take her little son to hospital. ^*Mani
0210P07 lost his temper and had a big fight with her on account of this.
0220P07 $^Such a thing could never happen in my house. ^What if Manju is
0230P07 not at home when I get back in the evening? ^Why should I fret
0240P07 and fume till she returns and then pounce on her as soon as she steps into
0250P07 the house? $^Am I not supposed to_ help her? ^Had I been in
0260P07 Mani*'s place, I would have carried on the household chores from where
0270P07 she*'d left off; maybe prepared dinner. $^Why, that_ is precisely
0280P07 what I do most of the time. ^*Manju does a part-time job during
0290P07 the day. ^She leaves at 10 in the morning and returns at lunch.
0300P07 ^Often I find her so tired when I return, that I don*'4t hesitate to_
0310P07 help her with the cooking and cleaning. ^After all, what are we
0320P07 married for if not to_ help each other and live happily? $^At the shop
0330P07 we have some regular customers. ^We like them and they like our
0340P07 *4saris. ^They just have to_ indicate the occasion for which they are
0350P07 shopping, and we show them the *4saris of their choice. ^Usually, when
0360P07 such a party enters the shop, I am called in to_ do the selling.
0370P07 ^*I don*'4t like selling inferior quality to my regular customers, and
0380P07 so I always take the liberty of advising them. ^Mostly they end up
0390P07 overshooting their budget, but they do so because they are convinced of
0400P07 the quality and uniqueness of the *4sari they have bought. $^*I like to_
0410P07 sell to a difficult, new customer. ^To me it is hardly a challenge
0420P07 to_ discover someone*'s taste in *4saris. ^First of all, one only
0430P07 has to_ find out for whom the *4sari is intended. ^This can be deduced
0440P07 easily enough if one listens to their conversation. ^If the
0450P07 person concerned is in the shop, the job becomes very easy indeed.
0460P07 ^*I merely pay a great deal of attention to that_ person and give my impressions
0470P07 unobtrusively, tuning them to his or her choice. ^If a large
0480P07 group arrives, it is important to_ find out who makes the decisions.
0490P07 ^As it happens, there is usually one among them to whom everyone
0500P07 turns for final approval. ^It may be the mother, father, sister,
0510P07 brother, husband or a friend. ^From my experience, I find that the
0520P07 way a woman is dressed tells me all I need to_ know about her taste
0530P07 in clothes. ^A fashionable upper class woman will receive new designs
0540P07 with appreciation and might sometimes be interested in really old-fashioned
0550P07 *4saris. ^Her choice of colours will be generally unusual.
0560P07 ^Contrast borders and gaudy patterns are not her cup of tea. ^The
0570P07 opposite is true about the taste of a woman from the lower middle class.
0580P07 $^It is the middle class women we have to_ be very careful about.
0590P07 ^They may have a remarkably refined taste or incredibly common
0600P07 things can appeal to them. ^*I have to_ watch their dress closely to_
0610P07 gauge their preferences. ^If a woman wants to_ see how a *4sari
0620P07 looks when worn, I do not hesitate to_ model it before her. ^*I
0630P07 even like it. ^*I firmly believe that a *4sari has to_ be appreciated.
0640P07 ^Some of the salesmen don*'4t like to_ show our cotton *4saris,
0650P07 especially if the customer came in to_ buy a silk *4sari. ^But I think
0660P07 all *4saris have their beauty and use. ^Though ours is mainly
0670P07 a silk *4sari shop, we do not lose anything by promoting the sales of
0680P07 cottons, chiffons, georgettes and other kinds of synthetic stuff.
0690P07 ^Of course it is more difficult to_ fold and put away these *4saris than
0700P07 the silks, because they crease easily. ^Still, I love folding
0710P07 them up. ^Actually I do most of the folding and arranging in the shop.
0720P07 ^*I do not like to_ fold up a *4sari right in the face of a customer;
0730P07 after all a woman needs time to_ make up her mind. $^The work-load
0740P07 is very heavy in the marriage and festive seasons. ^You will
0750P07 not believe me if I tell you that we do not get back home on such days
0760P07 before 11 \0p.m. ^The shop remains open until 8 o*'3clock.
0770P07 ^After the customers leave we have to_ settle the day*'s accounts and clean
0780P07 and arrange the shop for the next morning. $^It was here
0790P07 in the shop that I first met my Manju. ^She walked into our shop
0800P07 all by herself one afternoon. ^*I noticed her because she was all
0810P07 alone. ^She was the only customer at the time. ^*I thought she
0820P07 might go in for a printed silk *4sari or even some synthetic variety.
0830P07 ^But no, I had made a mistake. ^She wanted a good, heavy,
0840P07 Kanjeevaram silk. ^*I showed her *4saris of various colours and
0850P07 designs, with borders and without, ones with elaborate *4pallus and others
0860P07 with *4zari embroidery, till I came to a point when I had to_ bring
0870P07 out those "special" *4saris. ^These are the *4saris
0871P07 I like best, and I show them only to
0880P07 customers I like; sometimes the customer spots them on his own if he
0890P07 has a discriminating eye. ^As I spread out one such "special",
0900P07 Manju went into raptures. ^That_ is when I knew that we were kindred
0910P07 souls. ^She picked up the sandal-wood coloured *4sari with a deep
0920P07 maroon border. ^It was a jewel of a *4sari that_ could be worn at
0930P07 any time during the day or at night and for any function. ^She
0940P07 paid the bill and went home happy.
0950P07 $^Many months went by after this brief encounter. ^She came to the
0960P07 shop once again. ^*I never forget customers*' faces, so I recognised
0970P07 her instantly. ^Most of the time I even remember the *4sari
0980P07 they bought from me. ^Nowadays when I spot either a customer or one
0990P07 of our *4saris on the street, Manju gets irritated and says: "Don*'4t
1000P07 you ever think of anything else besides your shop, your work, your
1010P07 *4saris?" $^She came in with her mother, and came directly to my
1020P07 counter. ^She wanted a *4sari for her mother. ^*I had no trouble
1030P07 selling the right *4sari to her, because I knew that she and I had
1040P07 the same taste in *4saris. ^In addition to a *4sari for her mother,
1050P07 I was also able to_ make Manju buy a new, attractive cotton *4sari
1060P07 for herself. ^While paying the bill, she fell short of a few *4rupees.
1070P07 ^*I made up the difference out of my pocket and packed up the
1080P07 *4saris. $^From then on our friendship grew. ^Soon we got married
1090P07 with the blessings of the elders.
1100P07 ^How happy I was now that I had someone to_ buy *4saris for! I wanted
1110P07 her to_ possess the most beautiful *4saris. ^She too enjoyed wearing
1120P07 them to her office where many envied her secretly while some admired her
1130P07 openly. $^*Manju and I set up a nice comfortable home for ourselves.
1140P07 ^We always shared the house work. ^And since I was
1150P07 by nature prone to tidiness, I would spend all my spare time cleaning
1160P07 up the house and putting things in their proper place. ^We were an
1170P07 ideal couple we have never had even a single quarrel. ^*I believe
1180P07 that quarrels erupt only between immature people who don*'4t try to_
1190P07 understand each other. ^If Manju disagreed with me, I always saw her
1200P07 point of view, and therefore took no offence. ^If she failed to_
1210P07 fold up her *4sari, I folded them up. ^After all, it does not matter
1220P07 who does what. ^The only thing is that the work should be done.
1230P07 $^My daughter Pattu, as I affectionately call her, has started
1240P07 going to school. ^Before long she will be old enough to_ wear
1250P07 *4saris. ^And then you should see her... ^So many young men after her
1260P07 lured by the sheer beauty of her *4saris which I shall buy for her.
1270P07 ^*Manju doesn*'4t like the name Pattu. ^But I think nothing
1280P07 suits her better, because she is my *3Pattu. *3^*Pattu in our language
1290P07 means silk. $^These days I feel exhausted when I return home.
1300P07 ^*I just don*'4t find the energy to_ tidy the house. ^Maybe my age
1310P07 is telling on me. ^No. ^*I am not all that_ old. ^*I feel like
1320P07 running away from the house. ^But where can I go, and what will happen
1330P07 to my Manju and Pattu? ^What will they do without me? ^Last
1340P07 night when I asked Manju to_ fold up her *4saris lying on the sofa,
1350P07 she said it was not her job and added that it did not matter to her whether
1360P07 they were lying on the sofa or hanging neatly in the *4almirah.
1370P07 ^Maybe I hurt her by trying to_ teach her to_ take care of her *4saris.
1380P07 ^*I really shouldn*'4t have done that_. ^In the shop also I feel that
1390P07 I do most of the work. ^Yesterday, when I asked Mani to_ help me,
1400P07 he too said something similar to what Manju said. $^It is the
1410P07 *4Deepavali season now. ^*I will be very busy. ^*I don*'4t know
1420P07 how I am going to_ cope with the work. ^And this year our sales
1430P07 target is twice that_ of last year. ^The bulk of the work will be in
1440P07 my hands. ^The manager has already mentioned several times that a lot
1450P07 depends on me. ^If I suddenly feel unwell, I shall have to_ take
1460P07 leave. ^But what will I do sitting at home? ^At home also I have
1470P07 no rest; I have to_ help Manju. ^Perhaps it will be a good idea
1480P07 to_ take a gift for Manju as a surprise. ^*I shall take the most
1490P07 gorgeous *4sari for her, one to which she won*'4t have the heart to_
1500P07 say no. ^For the last five years she has been saying that she doesn*'4t
1510P07 want any more *4saris, because she doesn*'4t like them. ^How
1520P07 strange! ^But this rust colour *4sari, no woman in her right mind will
1530P07 refuse to_ accept. ^And the money I am paying is well worth it.
1540P07 ^*I shall make a parcel of it and take it home the night before
1550P07 *4Deepavali. $^When I return home late at night after these
1560P07 exhausting days I find it difficult to_ cook and eat my dinner. ^*I
1570P07 don*'4t mind Manju going to the movies. ^Only, I feel like asking
1580P07 her if she couldn*'4t have gone to an afternoon show. ^Did she have
1590P07 to_ choose the night show, and that_ too with Pattu? ^As always,
1600P07 I find their clothes-- new *4saris, dresses, blouses and skirts-- jumbled
1610P07 up together. ^*I put them in their place. ^*I separate the
1620P07 dirty clothes from the pile and wash them. ^Only rarely do I have
1630P07 the energy to_ iron them. ^They could at least help me, or thank
1640P07 me.*#
        **[no. of words = 02005**]

        **[txt. p08**]
0005P08 **<*3JOB CHARNOCK AND HIS LADY FAIR*0**>
0010P08 $^*Seth Shewchurn paid him a handsome commission. ^The jingling
0020P08 of those gold *4mohurs in his pocket was sweet music to his ears.
0021P08 ^The shiny new yellow coins gave him a sense of power and a feeling of
0030P08 great satisfaction was there in merely running his fingers through
0040P08 the coins.
0050P08 ^He could very well picture himself now, placing some of these coins on
0060P08 the *(mehndi-red*) palm of *4nautch girl with great confidence in himself,
0070P08 feeling proud of himself. ^And why should he not take a commission,
0080P08 pray? ^The Company suffered no loss if he did. $^Yet somehow,
0090P08 after accepting the commission, Job Charnock slept uneasily for two
0100P08 consecutive nights. ^His conscience kept bothering him and no amount
0110P08 of logic could erase the feeling that somehow he was being unfaithful
0120P08 to his employers. ^He began to_ get restless; after all this sum had
0130P08 accrued as a result of a deal between a trader and the Company and as
0140P08 such must rightfully belong to the latter. ^The touch of a gold coin
0150P08 became a pinprick to his conscience. $^Finally he walked up to
0160P08 \0Mr chamberlain and handed over the coins to him. \0^*Mr chamberlain
0170P08 looked astonished: "^Whatever*'1s the matter, Job?" $"^You*'3ll
0180P08 have to_ forgive me, Sir. ^*I*'3ve been guilty of a great folly.
0190P08 ^*I*'3ve accepted a commission from Seth Shewchurn on account of the loan
0200P08 he got from us. ^*I*'3ve been trying to_ hang on to it but find
0210P08 that I can*'4t. ^*I think this money should rightfully belong to
0220P08 the Company and so I*'3ve come to_ refund it." $"^Your honesty is
0230P08 exemplary, my boy, and I am greatly pleased. ^But how do you think
0240P08 you*'3re going to_ manage to_ live in this country on twenty pounds a
0250P08 year?" $"^But surely I can*'4t be disloyal to the Company on that_
0260P08 account." $"^Well spoken, son, and so you have refunded the commission.
0270P08 ^Now let me suggest what you should do for yourself.
0280P08 ^Start a private business of your own in a line where your interests will
0290P08 not clash with those of the Company. ^There*'3ll be no harm done then.
0300P08 ^*I*'3ll introduce you to a few native businessmen and provide you
0310P08 with the capital if you like. ^You may return the money whenever you
0320P08 can." $^With a letter of introduction from \0Mr Chamberlain, Job
0330P08 Charnock started his business in *4attar and tobacco, with one Janab
0340P08 Mohiuddin. ^Very soon he began to_ make profits.
0350P08 $^The new ruler Alamgir turned out to_ be more than a devout Muslim...
0360P08 a fanatic. ^Every one must stop drinking alcoholic beverages, he proclaimed,
0370P08 and orders prohibiting sale and consumption of liquor went out
0380P08 to cities, settlements and villages. ^How far this policy of prohibition
0390P08 actually succeeded was a moot point, but taking advantage of it
0400P08 the local *4Kotwal unleashed a reign of terror. $^*Pattana city was
0410P08 thoroughly ransacked for liquor shops and dealers in liquor. ^In this
0420P08 there was no discrimination between Hindus and Muslims. ^Whoever
0430P08 was suspected of dealing in liquor was rounded up. ^To_ show that
0440P08 he was faithfully obeying the Royal Command the *4Kotwal rounded up
0450P08 an equal number of Muslims and Hindus and charged them with selling
0460P08 wine. ^Every one of the victims pleaded 'not guilty' to the charge
0470P08 but all their vehement protestations of innocence went in vain; there was
0480P08 no investigation of any kind and no trail. ^In the centre of the
0490P08 *4bazar and right in front of Charnock*'s eyes, one arm and one leg of
0500P08 each person were amputated with razor sharp swords. ^Blood flowing
0510P08 down the market alleys congealed in dust and mud. ^The decapitated victims
0520P08 were thrown in gutters and left there to_ die of bleeding. ^Sheer
0530P08 terror was the order of the day. $^Yet another Royal Command was
0540P08 soon issued-- this had to_ do with the trimming of beards. ^No Muslim
0550P08 would henceforth be allowed to_ grow beards more than four fingers in
0560P08 length and those having longer ones now must cut them down to size.
0570P08 ^To_ enforce this Command Government officials began to_ roam the streets
0580P08 armed with scissors. ^They would catch hold of men with flowing beards
0590P08 and forcibly snip the beards off down to the prescribed length.
0600P08 ^Some had dyed their beards in so many hues, some had nurtured their growth
0610P08 with tender care over so many years... but off with all such beards!
0620P08 ^It was actually stated officially that longer beards prevented the
0630P08 correct pronunciation of the name of *4Allah. ^There was a great to_ do
0640P08 in Pattana city. **[sic**] $^*Charnock*'s orderly Noor Mohammed did
0650P08 not venture out of doors for days for fear of losing his beloved beard.
0660P08 ^*Muslim men took to coming out on the streets with their heads and
0670P08 faces draped in veils in the fashion of married *4Gentoo women.
0680P08 $^What a strange land was this *3Hindustan!*0 ^So many races lived
0690P08 here, so many different religious communities, different in their ways
0700P08 of living, different rituals followed by each. ^*Christianity
0710P08 was just another of these religions in this land. ^The natives refused
0720P08 to_ confer any special status on Christianity. ^The *4Gentoos
0730P08 actually hated the Christians. ^Take that_ Seth Shewchurn.
0740P08 ^He mingled so freely with Charnock for the sake of business, but never
0750P08 would he condescend to_ accept even a bowl of water from his hands.
0760P08 ^Now Shewchurn was a *4banyan. ^So many other castes the *4Gentoos
0770P08 have, *4brahmins, *4Rajputs... well pagans, that_*'1s what they really
0780P08 were, pagans. ^Strange were the gods and goddesses they worshipped.
0790P08 ^*Charnock had often tried to_ explain his own religion to
0800P08 some of them. ^The baptists had converted at lot of *4Gentoos to
0810P08 Christianity by force but these converts, it was said, still worshipped
0820P08 their old gods and goddesses in secret. ^Untouchability was observed
0830P08 in matters of food even by Muslims; they would never dine at the same
0840P08 table with Christians nor touch what was cooked by them. ^And
0850P08 there were so many taboos about the food they would eat. ^The *4Gentoos
0860P08 would not eat beef and the Moors would not touch pork. *4^*Gentoos
0870P08 fasted during their religious festivals and the Moors fasted during
0880P08 their month of *4Ramazan. ^One day Charnock was turning the pages
0890P08 of Thomas Browne*'s *7Religio-Medicii. ^There was a passage in
0900P08 it which he had almost come to_ know by heart. $"^*I could never
0910P08 divide myself from any man upon the difference of an opinion, or be angrry
0920P08 with his judgement for not agreeing with me in that_ from which perhaps
0930P08 within a few days I should dissent myself. ^*I have no genius to_
0940P08 dispute in religion, and have often thought it wisdom to_ decline them--".
0950P08 $^*Charnock would sit with the *4Gentoos and silently listen
0960P08 to tales about their gods and goddesses.^Orderly Noor Mohammed would
0970P08 tell him the story of Hassan and Hussain and the Karbala. ^They were
0980P08 all interesting tales to_ hear. ^*Charnock would not enter into any argument
0990P08 with them, or judge them on account of their belief. ^But
1000P08 he made it a habit to_ write these tales down on paper and mail them occasionally
1010P08 to the Directors of the Company back home. $^*Charnock
1020P08 liked it here at Pattana and Singee. ^Rules and regulations were not
1030P08 so rigid here as they were at Cassumbazar. ^It was easier to_ mix
1040P08 freely with people. ^He regarded himself as an experienced old hand by
1050P08 now. ^He had developed self confidence, acquired a working command
1060P08 over the local language and had learnt something of the Hindustani way
1070P08 of life. ^He preferred wearing garments worn by the gentry of this
1080P08 country for he considered them best suited for the climate out here.
1090P08 $^*Shewchurn invited him over to his place on the occasion of the *4Holi
1100P08 festival. ^The *4Gentoos of Pattana become greatly excited on that_
1110P08 day. ^It was held on a full moon day in early spring. ^No one
1120P08 knew for how many thousand years this annual festival of colour was being
1130P08 held in this country. ^In *3Brindavan,*0 it seems, Radha and Krishna
1140P08 had played *4Holi. ^So the *4Gentoos also played *4Holi.
1150P08 ^Whole day long men and women paraded the streets, smeared with coloured
1160P08 power and *4kumkum. ^They would sing, dance and enjoy themselves,
1170P08 the rich fraternising with the poor. ^*Shewchurn dragged Charnock
1180P08 to his place to_ join in the festivities. $^*Charnock had raised
1190P08 an objection at first: "^But I am a Christian." $^So what if yoy*'3re a
1191P08 Christian? ^There*'1s no difference between Hindus and Christians
1192P08 when it comes to having a good time." $^So Charnock got
1200P08 dressed up in his native clothes and joined the throng.
1210P08 $^Soon he too got smeared all over with *4abeer and *4fag and drenched in
1220P08 coloured water which the natives sprayed on him, using brass syringes.
1230P08 ^There were many ladies participating too, so it seemed that this
1240P08 festival brooked no difference between the sexes either. $^A woman
1250P08 dressed in colourful festive costumes rushed up to Charnock and smeared
1260P08 his face with *4fag. ^*Charnock rose fully to the occasion,
1270P08 chased the girl, caught her in his arms and smeared her face and breasts
1280P08 with *4fag in return. ^He was then reminded of what Elliott had
1290P08 said: the skins of these native girls were soft as petals of roses, smooth
1300P08 as silk muslin. ^A pleasant shiver of thrill ran down his spine.
1310P08 $"^*Motia has taken a fancy for Charnock *4saheb", exclaimed
1320P08 Shewchurn. "^How marvellous!" $^The girl, so befittingly attired
1330P08 in a brilliant costume, retorted jauntily: "I am in love with
1340P08 every one today, including the pot-bellied Shewchurn." $^Then
1350P08 she began to_ dance with great gusto, whirling faster and faster with
1360P08 the maddening beat of a *4dholak, singing a stray line or two from a
1370P08 song and then pausing to_ recover breath, the brief interludes being filled
1380P08 in by her audience, who repeated the last words of her line in a
1390P08 chorus. ^Against a background of swaying heads, with *(abeer-red*)
1400P08 dishevelled hair, her face stood out as she danced and as her black eyes
1410P08 danced to and fro, he stood spellbound by an irresistiblse charm.
1420P08 ^Alluring was the look in those eyes, which quivered like lightning and
1430P08 danced faster than her feet. ^Again and again amid all the swaying and
1440P08 whirling those eyes would frequently become locked with Charnock*'s.
1450P08 $^*Charnock had always liked the eyes of these native women.
1460P08 ^They were invariably black, deep and large. ^He had never forgotten
1470P08 the look in the eyes of the *4Gentoo woman who was bathing and sun-worshipping
1480P08 in the river *4ghat. ^Enchanting now was the look in the
1490P08 eyes of this *4Gentoo girl, drenched in the red waters of *4Holi.
1500P08 $"^Who is this Motia?" ^He asked Shewchurn in an aside. $"^A
1510P08 daughter of Hiru Kahar. ^Was there ever a father who could keep on
1520P08 a leash at home, a daughter who had a figure like that_? *4^Goondas
1530P08 kidnapped her one night and brought her to the brothels at Pattana.
1540P08 ^She now charges one *4rupee for an hour in bed." $^So she was just
1550P08 a common whore. ^She could be had and enjoyed at a price of just
1560P08 one *4rupee. ^Yet she looked soft as a flower and her skin was as smooth
1570P08 as silk muslin. $^Suddenly there came to their ears a crushing noise
1580P08 of drums and bugles. ^Dancing and singing ceased abruptly.
1590P08 $^The *4Nabob*'s troops had arrived on the scene. ^The party consisted
1600P08 of a number of horsemen and two elephants carrying armed soldiers on
1610P08 their backs. ^They were out on a patrol informing the *4kaffirs that
1620P08 all this singing, dancing and merry-making will have to_ stop.
1630P08 ^Those were the *4Nabob*'s orders. ^Emperor Aurangzeb did not approve
1640P08 of this sort of levity on the part of the *4Gentoos. $^*Motia
1650P08 strode out from the crowd to_ demand: "Has the Emperor himself issued
1660P08 a signed *4phirmaund stopping the *4Holi festival?" $"^Are you
1670P08 trying to_ check on us?" $"^For thousands of years at the beginneng
1680P08 of every spring we Hindus have been celebrating the festival of colours.
1690P08 ^No other Moghul Emperor ever dreamt of stopping us. ^That_*'1s
1700P08 why we can*'4t believe that our now *4Badshah Aurangzeb will
1710P08 wish to_ stop us holding this festival."*#
        **[no. of words = 01995**]

        **[txt. p09**]
0010P09 **<*3Heat and cold*0**> $^According
0020P09 to his physics and geography, it should be freezingly cold in
0030P09 Delhi when he came out of the plane on a January night. ^While coming
0040P09 out, he pulled up the collar of his light overcoat. ^But ahead
0050P09 of him was walking a middle-aged man wearing a sleeveless pullover
0060P09 on a half-sleeved sports shirt, open at the neck. ^Behind him a
0070P09 young hippy was coming with a duffle-coat carrying his sleeping-bag
0080P09 on his shoulder. ^Beside him was his girlfriend who was wearing a
0090P09 matching jacket over her ragged jeans. "^Must be whiskey-- or *4hashish--
0100P09 that_ is keeping her warm!" he thought, as he sneezed at
0110P09 the first contact of the cold wind that_ was blowing through
0120P09 the draughty entrance. $^But as he came out of the airport he
0130P09 noticed that his porter had only a thread-bare sweater to_ protect him.
0140P09 ^The taxi-driver had a warm woollen *4shawl to_ cover him but,
0150P09 under that_ he was wearing cotton *4pyjamas and no shoes or
0160P09 socks, only *4chappals. $"*5^Kiyon, bhai,*6 how is the cold
0170P09 in Delhi this year?" he asked as the taxi started. $"^This year*'s
0180P09 cold is chilling, Sir," he replied and yet he rolled down the
0190P09 glass of the window. ^A blast of cold air blew in and slid down
0200P09 through his upturned collar, like an icy dagger, to his chest. ^He
0210P09 sneezed again, violently this time, and he told the driver to_
0220P09 close the window. $^The driver was apologetic. "^What are we to_
0230P09 do, Sir. ^We have to_ signal the policeman with the right hand at
0240P09 the cross-roads." $^*Ramesh was prone to catching cold. ^For this
0250P09 reason, he always travelled with a flat little bottle of brandy
0260P09 in his brief-case. ^This time he took it out and put about a peg
0270P09 of it down his throat. ^A wave of heat suffused him. ^What is
0280P09 heat? ^Heat at that_ moment was a peg of brandy which was cold
0290P09 itself, but it helped to_ warm his blood. $^*Ramesh Chandra had
0300P09 come to Delhi to_ participate in a Science Congress where
0310P09 he had to_ read a paper on "Heat And Cold". ^According to the
0320P09 laws of physics, he knew the difference between the two extremes--
0330P09 and that_ was the theme of his paper. ^*Science is the ultimate
0340P09 reality-- let one be muffled in an overcoat, or have a cotton *4shawl
0350P09 wrapped round his shoulders-- like that_ coolie at the airport.
0360P09 ^Let a peg of brandy give a sensation of warmth to the interior
0370P09 of your body, or let a closed window keep out the blast of cold
0380P09 air. ^The temperature was the same-- or was it? $^The taxi came
0390P09 to a stop in the portico of the hotel. $^The hotel-porter opened
0400P09 the taxi-door. ^He was wearing a woollen uniform. $^The bell-boy
0410P09 who carried his suitcase inside was wearing a white cotton uniform.
0420P09 ^Perhaps he had a sweater inside, next to his skin. ^Outside
0430P09 in the portico it was very cold, but the next moment as he stepped in
0440P09 through the double glass-doors, it was pleasantly warm. ^The heaters
0450P09 were lighted, and warm air was flowing out of the air-conditioners.
0460P09 $^The Reception clerks were all dressed in ties, shirts and slacks.
0470P09 ^No jackets. $*3^THE*0 receptionist was wearing a flower-patterned
0480P09 silk *4sari-- and a permanent air hostess smile!
0490P09 $^And Ramesh despite his woollen suit and light overcoat, despite
0500P09 the one peg of brandy inside him, was sneezing again and again. $"^Sorry,"
0510P09 he said to the lady receptionist with an embarrassed smile when he
0520P09 sneezed for the third time while filling the personal details in the register.
0530P09 $"^It is very cold," said the receptionist draping her *4sari
0540P09 over her prominent breasts, "many of our guests are suffering from
0550P09 cold and even flu," she reassured him. $"^Maybe I am going to_
0560P09 get the flu, too" thought Ramesh as he put his signature in the register,
0570P09 and slammed it shut. $^By the time he was in his room and had
0580P09 dismissed the "boy" with a tip, he had, indeed, got fever.
0590P09 $"^This is really a paradox," he thought. "^The colder it
0600P09 becomes the higher goes the temperature of the human body. ^He was now
0610P09 shivering. ^But, according to the thermometer he had 102 degrees
0620P09 fever. ^He took pills of aspirin and one quinine pill, gulped them down
0630P09 with another swig of brandy, then he crawled under the cold sheets covering
0640P09 the warm blankets. $^When did the cold and the fever start?
0650P09 $^This cold he had felt in Bombay itself, where the temperature was
0660P09 much warmer. $^But when he thought of the "cold" attitude of his wife,
0670P09 he had the shivers again. $"^*Sushila, my dear!" $"^What
0680P09 is it?" ^Her voice came out of the freezer. $"^*I have to_ go to
0690P09 Delhi tomorrow." $"^Then go, by all means. ^Who am I to_ forbid
0700P09 you?" $"^*I can feel from your attitude that you don*'4t approve
0710P09 of my going-- or my going *3alone!"*0 $"^What do you care about
0720P09 my feelings?" $"^Why shouldn*'4t I care?" $"^But you don*'4t."
0730P09 $"^Then you don*'4t want me to_ participate in this important
0740P09 conference, not to_ read the paper on Heat And Cold. ^It
0750P09 has taken me weeks to_ prepare the paper!" $"^Do participate and
0760P09 read your paper. ^Who am I to_ tell you not to_?" $"^It will
0770P09 take only two days, my darling." $"^Not two days-- you can stay in
0780P09 Delhi for three days, even four days. ^But don*'4t 'darling' me.
0790P09 ^*I don*'4t like hypocrisy." $"^Why? ^What*'2s happened?"
0800P09 $"^Nothing has happened. ^Only I know now that I am not your
0810P09 'darling'." $"^How have you come to that_ conclusion?" $"^A woman
0820P09 knows these things. ^One thing more. ^You can write a paper on
0830P09 Heat And Cold. ^But what do you know about heat and cold?"
0840P09 $"^You seem to_ be bent on quarrelling with me today, Sushila! ^*I
0850P09 don*'4t know why?" $"^You are an eminent physicist. ^You are concerned
0860P09 with problems of temperature. ^Why should you be concerned with
0870P09 the heat and cold of emotions?" $*3^THERE*0 was something behind
0880P09 it all. ^But what was it, he had not been able to_ think out even now.
0890P09 $^Aspirin, quinine and brandy and the heat of the blankets brought
0900P09 his fever down, even as they induced sleep. ^When he got up in the
0910P09 morning his temperature was normal. ^So he filled up the bath-tub with
0920P09 warm water and soaked himself in it. ^It was quite refreshing. ^But
0930P09 when he came out, he was shivering. ^The problem of heat and cold,
0940P09 again! ^But when he rubbed himself with the big bath towel, the heat returned
0950P09 to his body. ^The temperature of the bathroom, as he could confirm
0960P09 from the thermometer on the wall, was the same. ^The water in
0970P09 the tub was warm. ^Outside it was cold. ^The towel had room temperature.
0980P09 ^So how could rubbing the cold towel generate heat? ^The
0990P09 laws of physics said it was the friction that_ generated heat.
1000P09 ^So the heat was not in the towel, but in its friction! $^He changed
1010P09 into fresh clothes, then he ordered breakfast in the room, took two cups of
1020P09 hot coffee, had toast with fried eggs. ^Then, with his warmth and
1030P09 energy restored, he took a taxi to Vigyan Bhawan where he had to_
1040P09 read his paper. $^The moment he came out of the taxi, he remembered
1050P09 the cold indifference of his wife. ^And immediately he sneezed.
1060P09 ^What the psychological attitude of his wife had to_ do with the membranes
1070P09 of his nose was beyond his knowledge of physics. ^His paper, according
1071P09 to the programme, was seventh on the order paper. $^While the first
1080P09 six scientists read their papers, he kept on thinking about his wife,
1090P09 Sushila, and what perverse devil got into her the previous day?
1100P09 ^What was wrong with his coming to Dehli that_ had so infuriated her?
1110P09 $"^*Delhi........?" $"~coming to delhi......?" $"^*Heat and Cold.....?"
1120P09 $^Suddently he remembered the cold weather of Delhi ten years
1130P09 ago when he was an \0M.Sc. student and had gone from Bombay, along
1140P09 with a group of collegians, to_ participate in the Republic Day
1150P09 Festival. ^All the girls and boys, from all over India, were staying
1160P09 in tents in the Talkatora Gardens. ^He would always remember
1170P09 that_ year*'s Republic Day Parade. ^The huge colourful crowds.
1180P09 ^The marching battalions of Army, Navy, Air Force, \0N.C.C.
1190P09 ^The March Past of the students. ^The boys in white shirts
1200P09 and white slacks. ^The girls in white *4shalwars, white shirts and
1210P09 green pullovers. ^*Ramesh who had gone to_ watch the parade, wearing
1220P09 an overcoat that_ day, was wondering why these boys and girls did
1230P09 not feel cold? ^Perhaps the patriotic fervour of that_ day and the
1240P09 "heat" generated by the tramp-tramp-tramp of hundreds of booted feet
1250P09 was the secret. $^In this parade, he had seen Sushila for the first
1260P09 time. ^An oval, olive-complexioned face which had left an indelible
1270P09 impression on his heart and mind. ^Even now when he remembered it, he
1280P09 felt the surge of the original emotion. ^Then he knew what is called
1290P09 "Love At First Sight"! $^That_ night he saw her again at the
1300P09 "Camp Fire" at the Talkatora Gardens. ^Various groups of students
1310P09 were presenting the folk-dances of their respective states. ^The
1320P09 Punjabis danced the *4bhangra in which Sushila was playing the female
1330P09 lead. ^She was small like a child, but her face had the innocent sweetness
1340P09 of an angel and the impish mischief of a devil. ^While watching
1350P09 the dance, Ramesh was just looking at that_ face. ^After the dance
1360P09 was over, she also came and sat on the grass in the same row as Ramesh.
1370P09 $"^Don*'4t you feel cold?" ^*Ramesh asked her, looking
1380P09 for an excuse to_ open the conversation. $"^No, really! ^*Chandigarh
1390P09 is even colder than Delhi. ^And we go to Simla in winter to_ skate
1400P09 and ski in the snow," she replied with pride and enthusiasm, and then
1410P09 naively asked. $"^Where do you come from?" $"^From Bombay--
1420P09 the Institute of Sciences!" $"that_*'1s why you are wrapped-up
1430P09 in so many sweaters and mufflers. ^Then please have this." ^Half-seriously,
1440P09 and half-jocularly, she placed her own *4pashmina *4shawl
1450P09 over his shoulders. $^The *4pashmina was soft and warm, and it
1460P09 was fragrant with the perfume of Sushila*'s young body. $^*Ramesh liked
1470P09 talking to Sushila. ^She was so intelligent, so free so much
1480P09 alive and interested in everything-- including him! ^Within a short time
1490P09 they were talking so casually, as if they had known each other for years.
1500P09 "^How wonderful is the warmth of friendship!" he thought. ^He
1510P09 only permitted himself to_ think of "friendship" but he meant "love"!
1520P09 $^They kept on talking all through the night! $^The songs and dance
1530P09 programme was over. ^The bantering boys and the giggling girls retired
1540P09 to their respective tents. $^But Ramesh and Sushila continued
1550P09 to_ talk. $^The flames of the camp fire dimmed then died down. ^It
1560P09 was cold and dark. $^Ramesh put back the *4pashmina *4shawl over Sushila*'s
1570P09 shoulders. ^He felt very protective towards her. $^She
1580P09 took him in her *4shawl, snuggling against his chest. $^And his whole
1590P09 being was filled with a fragrant warmth. $^*Ramesh remembered that that_
1600P09 was their first meeting. ^Then he remebered that it was the 24th of
1610P09 January. ^The day after is the 26th January, the 10th anniversary
1620P09 of their first meeting. ^And he had forgotten it! that_*'1s
1630P09 why Sushila was so irritable and cross with him. ^*That_ explained
1640P09 the coldness of her attitude. ^He should have brought her with him
1650P09 to Delhi so that they could be together in Delhi to_ remember that_ 26th
1660P09 January of ten years ago. $^Somehow he finished reading his paper,
1670P09 and gave the answers to the questions that_ were raised indifferently
1680P09 and mechanically. ^Then he took a taxi and raced to his hotel.
1690P09 ^Hardly had he reached his room that he dialled the Hotel Exchange to_give
1700P09 him his Bombay number. $^Within minutes he was talking to his wife.
1710P09 $"^Hello, Sushila." $"^Hello, how are you?" ^She still
1720P09 sounded very cold, very remote. "^Last night, when I arrived here,
1730P09 I had fever." $"*5^Hai Ram!*6" Suddenly there was a warmth
1740P09 of concern for her husband*'s health. "^Took aspirin and quinine and
1750P09 brandy to_ bring it down. ^But it can come up again."*#
        **[no. of words = 02013**]

        **[txt. p10**]
0020P10 **<*3THE BRIDGE IN THE MOONLIT NIGHT*0**>
0030P10 *3^AT*0 times the moon appeared so big and so close to Ashok*'s
0040P10 balcony that he thought he could hello it and even reach it in a few
0050P10 bounds and shake hands with it. ^But since it evidently had no hands,
0060P10 he wondered if it would do to_ plant a kiss on it. $^Relaxing
0070P10 in his easy chair Ashok loved to_ chitchat with the moon, particularly
0080P10 when it shone bright. ^He had just told it. "^*I crossed eighty
0090P10 some years ago. ^What about you?" $^There were moments on such
0100P10 moonlit nights when he could see young fairies of both sexes-- he was surprised
0110P10 that they never aged-- playing hide-and-seek amidst the milk-white
0120P10 clouds and atop the star-lit trees on the dusky horizon. ^He enjoyed
0130P10 their frolic to his heart*'s fill, but often dozed off in the process,
0140P10 and, what is intriguing, still continued to_ see them. ^His
0150P10 only problem was, he could not say how much of those gamesome beings he
0160P10 saw while awake and how much in sleep. $^He was aware of the fact that
0170P10 his queer brand of forgetfulness had slowly begun to_ cover his other
0180P10 activities too, even those purely physical in nature. ^For instance,
0190P10 this is what had happened that_ very evening: he had been delighted at
0200P10 the alluring colour of his cup of tea reflecting the sunset sky. ^He
0210P10 had had a warm sniff of its steam. ^But his happiness drove him into one
0220P10 of those sudden snoozes and he sipped the tea in a dream. ^A little
0230P10 later, upon being reminded that his tea was going cold, he felt amazed
0240P10 to_ find that his satisfaction at having drunk the tea in a dream was
0250P10 not a whit less than the satisfaction he derived from actually drinking
0260P10 it. $^But whatever the condition of his memory, he was proud of the
0270P10 fact that age had not dimmed his vision to any considerable extent.
0280P10 ^He attributed this to his feeding at his mother*'s breast till the age
0290P10 of five, being her last child. $^But he had suddenly developed doubts
0300P10 about his vision and that_ was a while ago. ^The bridge on the
0310P10 small river two furlongs away, where he often spent his evenings in the
0320P10 company of his friends, was no longer visible to him. ^Every time he
0330P10 woke up he rubbed his bleary eyes and tried to_ locate the old familiar
0340P10 bridge, but failed. ^Was the moon playing any trick with him, withholding
0350P10 its beams? ^He glared at the moon. ^He then looked at
0360P10 the clump of bushy trees on the horizon in which he was accustomed to_
0370P10 see the silhouette of the Taj. ^He could see that_ all right. ^This
0380P10 was an annoying problem. ^He solved it by quickly dozing off.
0390P10 $^But the footfalls dragging up the stairs were enough to_ rouse him.
0400P10 ^They were Sudhir*'s-- as familiar to him as the thwacks of his own walking
0410P10 stick. ^Although younger to him by a decade, Sudhir gasped for
0420P10 breath while climbing. ^But to Ashok the feeling was hardly different
0430P10 from that_ of normal walking. ^Not only that_ he had lately begun
0440P10 to_ have most unusual experiences while climbing the staircase. ^For
0450P10 example, on the last occasion he had fallen asleep in the middle of the
0460P10 stairs, although for not more than a minute. ^But that_ was sufficient
0470P10 for his mind to_ become devoid of the entire sequence of events.
0480P10 ^He had just returned from a delightful ride in his son*'s car. ^But on
0490P10 reaching the balcony he had concluded that he had just got down to the
0500P10 portico. ^He had looked for the car and had mistaken the grandfather
0510P10 clock for the chauffeur. ^However, he had succeeded in rapidly recovering
0520P10 his sense of the situation and complimented himself on that_ score.
0530P10 ^It was no hallucination of any formidable nature to_ mistake ascent
0540P10 for descent and vice versa-- he assured himself.
0550P10 $"*3^COME,*0 Sudhir, shouldn*'4t we go out for a stroll?"
0560P10 ^*Ashok offered his hand to Sudhir to_ help him stand up. $"^Where on
0570P10 earth to_ go? ^The bridge was the only place, "Sudhir lamented
0580P10 looking in the accustomed direction. $"^Yes, yes, the bridge.
0590P10 ^Let us go there". $"^Look here, Ashok *4bhai, you must fight off
0600P10 this forgetfulness of yours-- what they call amnesia. ^Where is
0610P10 the bridge? ^Why do you think we haven*'4t gone out for a stroll
0620P10 since a month? ^They have pulled down each brick of the dear old
0630P10 bridge. ^They plan to_ erect a new one-- a fashionable one with a
0640P10 number of jetties on both the sides-- for the tax-payers to_ enjoy their
0650P10 evenings around flower plants, cracking nuts and sucking at ice-cream
0660P10 sticks in the summer. ^In no time it will turn into a fish market,
0670P10 I*'3ll bet," Sudhir spoke with anguish. $"^Say that_! ^The
0680P10 bridge is just not there! ^That_ explains why I cannot see it.
0690P10 ^No doubt, my memory is playing tricks with me. ^Your case is
0700P10 different. ^You are young!" commented Ashok. $"^Not as young as
0710P10 you think, Ashok *4bhai, I will be eighty in a year or two."
0720P10 $"^Well, at your age I could....." ^*Ashok*'s muttering grew feebler
0730P10 and he fell into his snooze halfway through his observation.
0740P10 $"^You are under an exaggerated impression about your age, Ashok *4bhai.
0750P10 ^It is so common to_ read about centurions **[sic**] nowdays! ^What
0760P10 are you before them? ^A bare octogenarian! ^*Ashok *4bhai, are
0770P10 you falling asleep?" $"^Oh no Sudhir, I must confess though that
0780P10 I doze off from time to time. ^But that_ keeps me fresh. ^Now,
0790P10 should we make a move-- towards the bridge?" $"^Ashok *4Bhai,
0800P10 did I not tell you for the umpteenth time that the bridge has
0810P10 disappeared? ^You forget everything!" ^*Sudhir sounded disappointed.
0820P10 $^From the restless doddering of his limbs it was obvious that
0830P10 Ashok felt embarrassed. ^But he soon regained his composure and
0840P10 said, "^You are right, Sudhir, I keep forgetting much of what people
0850P10 tell me. ^There was a time when it was necessary to_ forget a
0860P10 lot of things. ^But then the mind proved too diligent to_ let even a
0870P10 single item slip from ones*'s memory. ^And now, when it is imperative
0880P10 for you to_ remember at least a few things-- who else would care
0890P10 to_ remember for you when you are old and out of tune with the rest--
0900P10 the mind betrays you." $"^But you lack no care, Ashok *4bhai,
0910P10 you are in fact placed amidst a host of kind souls who would remember
0920P10 on your behalf all you need to_!" $"^A host of kind but colourful
0930P10 souls. ^Despite all their goodwill for you they must dab your affairs
0940P10 with their tint and tone, so much so that you will fail to_
0950P10 recognise what was yours. ^No, Sudhir, others cannot remember for
0960P10 you, just as others cannot forget for you!" $"^*Ashok *4bhai, after
0970P10 a long time you are talking as sparkingly as you used to_ when
0980P10 you were our professor. ^What drama there was in your speech!"
0990P10 $"^Drama, was there? ^*I don*4't remember. ^And look here, Sudhir,
1000P10 on second thought, there is no much peace in forgetting things!
1010P10 ^*I am in peace, believe me, with my-- what do you call-- amnesia.
1020P10 ^My instant snoozes of which you complain are nothing but a
1030P10 symptom of my peace. ^If death could prove gracious enough to_ close
1040P10 in on me while I was in one of those snoozes!" $^*Sudhir understood
1050P10 from the volume of Ashok*'s voice that he would not feel sleepy for
1060P10 some time to_ come. ^He dragged his chair closer to him and, after
1070P10 a little hemming, said, "Ashok *4bhai, I am trying over a long
1080P10 time to_ make a confession to you. ^No longer can I keep the anguish
1090P10 bottled up in my heart. ^Will you kindly bear with my babbling for
1100P10 a few minutes?" $"^Go on, Sudhir." $*3^SUDHIR*0 hemmed
1110P10 again and rolled up his sleeves and readjusted his position. ^He paused
1120P10 a few more seconds making sure that there was nobody in the
1130P10 vicinity to_ overhear him, except for the cat on the sofa. ^He wagged
1140P10 his stick at it and it walked away more in disgust than in
1150P10 fear. $"^*Ashok *4bhai, you remember Meera, don*'4t you?" $^There
1160P10 was no response from the listener. $"^You remember her, don*'4t
1170P10 you? ^*Meera, my distant cousin, two or three years older than
1180P10 me, the beautiful Meera! ^Wasn*'4t she a student when you were the
1190P10 star of our college-- a young lecturer? ^Who could have outshone
1200P10 you in gait and style and that_ spick and span look you carried
1210P10 about yourself! ^But let me go back to Meera. ^We had put her
1220P10 up in our house. ^To_ cut the story short, I mean the very Meera
1230P10 you were in love with. ^*Ashok *4bhai, you have not fallen asleep,
1240P10 I hope?" $"^How can I, Sudhir? ^Go on..." $"^But will
1250P10 you first tell me whether you remember Meera or not?" $"^Didn*'4t
1260P10 you say that I loved her? ^How then do you ask such a question?"
1270P10 $"^Thank God. ^Yes, Ashok *4bhai, you loved her and you
1280P10 grew thin yearning for her." $"^And I never grew fat again!"
1290P10 $"^But you fattened me-- and I have remained fat all my life-- feeding
1300P10 me like a pig because you used me as the courier of your love letters
1310P10 to her-- and how wonderful those letters were! ^*I have hardly
1320P10 ever come across such galvanizing sentiments in any fiction or even
1330P10 poetry!" $"^*Sudhir, don*'4t you tell me you were unkind enough
1340P10 to_ read my private letters to Meera!" $"^Pardon this sinner,
1350P10 Ashok *4bhai, I did read them. ^*I read not only your letters but
1360P10 also the one-- the solitary one-- she had written to you in reply.
1370P10 ^That_ was of course how I learnt that she too had come to_ set
1380P10 her heart upon you." $"^No Sudhir, she had not. ^And she never
1390P10 wrote to me." $"^She did, Ashok *4bhai! $^*Ashok sat silent
1400P10 without taking his eyes off the moon which had grown brighter, emerging
1410P10 from behind a fragile scrap of cloud. ^The lone eucalyptus that_
1420P10 stood touching the balcony persisted in its monologue in the steady
1430P10 breeze. ^The grandfather clock rang out a resonant halfpast seven.
1440P10 $^*Ashok suddenly spoke out in a vibrant tone, "I am lucky.
1450P10 ^*I don*'4t care to_ call for any proof of the veracity of your statement,
1460P10 Sudhir, but I wish you had told me of her love for me earlier.
1470P10 ^*I could have considered myself lucky over a longer period, that_
1480P10 is all." $"^There lies the knot, Ashok *4bhai!" ^What
1490P10 do you think I am feeling so awfully guilty about? ^You certainly remember
1500P10 how shy Meera was. ^But she had at last yielded to your entreaties.
1510P10 ^She had written a small but sweet reply to your epic love letters.
1520P10 ^In fact, she had agreed to_ meet you at the bridge." $^*Sudhir
1530P10 paused for a moment and then continued, "And she had come, but
1540P10 had to_ go back feeling humiliated, for you did not turn up." $"^How
1550P10 do you say so, Sudhir, I received no letter from her!" ^*Ashok
1560P10 asserted in a trembling voice. $^How could you have received the
1570P10 letter, Ashok *4bhai?" ^*Sudhir faltered and tried to_ clear his
1580P10 choking throat. "^*I was bringing that_ letter to you. ^But while
1590P10 I was crossing the bridge it flew away in a sudden gust of wind."
1600P10 $"^Flew away? ^Let us go and look for it!" ^*Ashok made an effort
1610P10 to_ get up. $"^After sixty years?" ^*Sudhir laughed nervously.
1620P10 "^*Ashok *4bhai, I must confess that the letter flew away only after
1630P10 I had read it and torn it to shreds. ^In fact, I let the pieces
1640P10 fly into the rolling flood of the monsoon under the bridge. ^*I can
1650P10 still see them flying away like butterflies." $*3^ASHOK*0 kept
1660P10 quiet. ^*Sudhir hung his head and muttered on: "I do not know
1670P10 why I did such a thing. ^You will certainly agree that I was not a
1680P10 mischievous boy as such. ^No doubt, I had a deep affection for Meera.
1690P10 ^*I could not have wished for anything but her welfare.*#
        **[no. of words = 02003**]

        **[txt. p11**]
0020P11 **<*3Odour*0**>
0030P11 $^The monsoons had come again. $^Raindrops pattered on the
0040P11 *4peepul leaves outside the window. ^Inside was the bed where Randhir
0050P11 had slept with her. $^In the dark the rain-washed *4peepul leaves
0060P11 quivered like beautiful earrings. $^Here on the bed she had clung
0070P11 to him in frenzy. ^The low caste *4ghatan girl, whom he had sheltered
0080P11 from the torrid rain outside. $^Perhaps she worked in the
0090P11 factory nearby. ^*Randhir had watched her from his balcony-- seeking
0100P11 shelter under the tamarind tree. ^He had read the same newspaper
0110P11 several times over and had come out to the balcony, bored, and in quest
0120P11 of some fresh rain-washed air. $^He had cleared his throat.
0130P11 ^And this had drawn her attention. ^He had then called her up.
0140P11 $^For days he had been lonely and dejected. ^The war had drawn out
0150P11 of his reach those beautiful Anglo-Indian girls, who came for the evening,
0160P11 and often even for the night. ^They were not expensive-- and
0170P11 because of his English school education he preferred them to the common
0180P11 tarts he found in the usual brothels. ^When the war came, most
0190P11 of them joined the Women*'s Auxiliary Corps; others joined the new
0200P11 dancing schools in the Fort area. ^And only whites were admitted
0210P11 to these schools. $^*Randhir was frustrated. ^His favourite
0220P11 girls had gone off the market-- or were just inaccessible. ^And Randhir
0230P11 was annoyed becasue he considered himself better educated, more
0240P11 refined, and more handsome than the average Tommy. $^Before the
0250P11 war, Randhir had dated many of these girls and he knew more about their
0260P11 physical attributes than the Christian boys with whom they flirted,
0270P11 and the most gullible of whom they invariably married. $^He remembered
0280P11 the *4ghatan girl. ^He had called her over because of the airs
0290P11 Hazel had put on before joining the corps. ^Every morning he would
0300P11 see her walk out of her flat, just beneath his own, her khaki cap
0310P11 set at a rakish angle, with an arrogant self conscious stride.
0320P11 $^*Randhir wondered why he was always attracted by girls like Hazel.
0330P11 ^Was it their lack of inhibitions that_ drew him? ^Or was it
0340P11 their sheer physical magnetism? ^Or was it because they spoke so
0350P11 openly of their menstrual irregularities, their past indiscretions, their
0360P11 lusts and their loves? ^In bed they were like patent medicines
0370P11 with instructions for use marked. $^When Randhir had called the
0380P11 *4ghatan girl he had no intention of seducing her. ^He was concerned
0390P11 only because she was so wet. ^And that_*'1s why he had asked her
0400P11 to_ change out of her wet clothes. $^She understood him without even
0410P11 knowing his language. ^Bright gossamers of shame had floated in
0420P11 her eyes. ^And when he handed her a fresh white *4dhoti to_ wear,
0430P11 she had hesitated slightly before taking off her filthy coarse clothes,
0440P11 made filthier by the rain and the wet mud. $^As the soaked garment
0450P11 slithered down her thighs, she quickly covered herself with the *4dhoti.
0460P11 ^And then tried to take_ off her tight *4choli by opening the small
0470P11 knot embedded in the deep cleavage between her breasts. $^When her
0480P11 broken nails tried to_ loosen the knot and failed several times, she
0490P11 had despaired. ^And then Randhir had lost his patience-- and gripping
0500P11 the strings on either side, pulled hard-- and the knot had given way
0510P11 suddenly. ^His hands brushed over her breasts, which had trembled
0520P11 and come into view. $^Her breasts had the softness and cool warmth
0530P11 of vessels that_ had just come off the potter*'s wheel. ^They were
0540P11 moist in a rough and sensuous way, and yet cool and pliable. ^They
0550P11 shone dully, in a strange sensuous way-- and an ardour came up from
0560P11 within her translucent skin: uplifted, they looked like two beautiful
0570P11 glowing lamps. $^The monsoons had come again. $^Outside the window
0580P11 the *4peepul leaves were dripping. ^The *4ghatan girl*'s soaked,
0590P11 two piece dress was on the floor in a filthy heap. $^She had
0600P11 clung on to Randhir. ^The warmth of her naked, unwashed body had
0610P11 reminded him of a hot bath in winter in a filthy public bathing place.
0620P11 $^All night they made love-- with a strange ardour that_ was all-consuming.
0630P11 ^Neither spoke-- but the braille of their lips and hands
0640P11 was eloquent. ^They panted deep into the night. ^*Randhir
0650P11 fondled her breasts softly-- like the caress of the storm. ^Her dark
0660P11 areolas with their tiny nipples stiffened and trembled in strange unison,
0670P11 as the dams of passion broke. ^*Randhir had known such tremors
0680P11 before. ^He had held many women to his chest before and fondled their
0690P11 breasts, and played with their nipples till they were taut and bruised.
0700P11 $^He had slept with many girls. ^Some were simple and quiet;
0710P11 others talkative. ^Then there were the aggressive ones who did
0720P11 everything themselves-- Randhir just had to_ lie still on his back till
0730P11 the climax came. $^But this girl was unique. ^She was totally
0740P11 different. $^All night the strange odour from her body entranced
0750P11 him. ^It was a strange odour truly: it was both pleasant and
0760P11 filthy, commonplace and unique. ^It was in her armpits and breasts,
0770P11 in her filthy hair, in her navel, and in every nook and crevice of
0780P11 her body-- wherever he searched for it. ^That_ odour still remained--
0790P11 a distinct, indelible memory. $^Their bodies were fused together
0800P11 by this smell. ^They had merged into each other in that_ simple
0810P11 act of sex, and had delved down in fathomless depths-- sharing an unknown
0820P11 ecstasy that_ could never come back. ^Like a bird that_ flies into
0830P11 the azure-- higher and higher, till it become **[sic**] a dot. $^That_
0840P11 odour was like the fresh smell of earth after the rains: natural and eternal,
0850P11 like the relationship between man and woman since primeval times,
0860P11 ultimate lust. $^*Randhir hated sweat. ^After a bath he always
0870P11 used talcum powders or deodorants. ^And yet he had kissed her
0880P11 hairy sweating armpits a million times, and discovered a strange, bewildering
0890P11 pleasure. ^The sweat of her hairy armpits had smelt the same
0900P11 way. ^It was this unique, memorable odour that_ he alone understood
0910P11 and recognised. ^It was his very private world of experience.
0920P11 $^The monsoons had come again. $^*Randhir watched from his window
0930P11 the swaying *4peepul leaves bathed in rain. ^He listened to their
0940P11 rustle in the dark. $^The night was not black. ^A subdued brilliance
0950P11 came, washed down from the stars by the steady drizzle.
0960P11 ^It was the same season-- only there was another bed beside his inside the
0970P11 room. ^In the corner stood a new dressing table. $^It was again
0980P11 the season of rains, the season of marriages. $^The raindrops
0990P11 flushed the stars of their milky light-- and there was the strong fragrance
1000P11 of henna in the air. ^One of the beds was empty; on the other
1010P11 lay Randhir looking out of the window into the dark. $^The girl
1020P11 beside him was fair and beautiful. ^She was asleep, naked. ^Her
1030P11 red silk garment lay on the other bed its dark red cord dangling from
1040P11 the edge. ^Beside it lay her green shirt with matching red flowers,
1050P11 her brassiere, panties, and chiffon *4dupatta. ^All in flaming marriage
1060P11 red, scented with henna. $^Gold dust flecked her long dark
1070P11 tresses. ^The make-up on her face had blurred: the powder and rouge
1080P11 was like a pale mask of death. ^Her cream white breasts were blotched
1090P11 by her red brassiere. $^There were scratches on her body-- as if
1100P11 she had just come out of a packed crate. ^When Randhir had unknotted
1110P11 her tight brassiere, he had felt its marks on the soft flesh of her
1120P11 breasts and back. ^The cord of the *4salwar left a creased imprint
1130P11 around her waist. ^A heavy and sharp-edged gold necklace had bruised
1140P11 her breasts as if they had been scratched in wild passion.
1150P11 $^The monsoons had come again. $^Raindrops were falling on the *4peepul
1160P11 leaves outside. ^*Randhir heard the soft patter of night.
1170P11 ^A cool breeze was blowing-- and there was the fragrance of henna in
1180P11 the air. $^For a long time he stroked the girl*'s breasts, as white
1190P11 as fresh milk. ^His fingers brushed the nipples gently and played
1200P11 with them. ^They roved over her soft milky body, traced strange
1210P11 designs. ^His lust quickened. ^And as he drew her to his chest
1220P11 and her breasts filled the gap between them, every pore of his body
1230P11 heard the strumming of her awakened passion. $^But suddenly came back
1240P11 that memorable octave: the call of that_ *4ghatan girl*'s odour,
1250P11 a cry which had gone beyond the limits of sound, that_ nameless fragrance
1260P11 from her hairy armpits which screamed in his memory. $^*Randhir
1270P11 looked out of the window. ^Beyond the rustling *4peepul leaves he
1280P11 watched the luminous grey clouds. ^They had a strange glow like the
1290P11 one that_ had lurked in the *4ghatan girl*'s breasts. ^A secret
1300P11 glow that_ only few can see-- and, that_ even, only rarely. $^Beside
1310P11 him lay the girl whose complexion was as white as flour kneaded with
1320P11 milk and ghee. ^Her sleeping body had the fragrance of henna.
1330P11 ^A fragrance Randhir suddenly found distasteful and insipid-- a peculiar
1340P11 tang, like the taste left in the mouth after belching.
1350P11 $^*Randhir looked at her. ^Her skin was like curdled milk: lifeless,
1360P11 unpleasant. ^The odour came back: the smell of the unwashed,
1370P11 earthy, *4ghatan girl-- lighter and more penetrating than henna.
1380P11 ^*Randhir rallied and again turned to_ stroke her milk white body.
1390P11 his hands were numb; there was no responsive tremor. ^His new bride,
1400P11 a magistrate*'s daughter, a graduate, a heart throb at college,
1410P11 had failed to_ stoke the dying embers of his lust. $^In the dying
1420P11 fragrance of henna, he groped again for the odour of that_ *4ghatan girl--
1430P11 that_ unwashed smell, that_ fragrance which returns with each monsoon,
1440P11 when the *4peepul leaves flutter in the rain.
1450P11 $**<*3A Love Story*0**>
1460P11 $^When Ashley first walked into my home, and my life, I was 13
1470P11 years old and just beginning to_ get pimples from impure thoughts.
1480P11 ^Thirteen years old and beautifully ugly, as little girls are apt
1490P11 to_ be-- little girls who are destined after a few years to_ be inexpressibly
1500P11 lovely and bring no end of misery to a great number of men.
1510P11 ^*I was on the garden swing when I saw him walk through the gate with
1520P11 my brother Chris, and I began to_ swing a little faster.
1530P11 $^*Ashley was tall and lean and pensive, and wore spectacles with huge,
1540P11 circular lenses. ^But he had a wonderful, crooked smile.
1550P11 ^And one hell of an intellect. ^He just knew and knew and knew about
1560P11 things. ^He would lean back lazily in our armchair, his long legs
1570P11 ensconced in blue denims and discus Kahlil Gibran, vegetarianism
1580P11 and planchette with Chris. $^*I would sit across the room, my
1590P11 skirt falling neatly over my knees, my legs crossed intelligently, leaning
1600P11 forward seriously as they talked about existentialism. (^Later
1610P11 I looked it up in the dictionary). ^Apart from his friendly "Hi!"
1620P11 Ashley almost never spoke to me. ^And, although I longed to_,
1630P11 I could never gather the gumption to_ enter his world of clever conversation
1640P11 and witty repartee. ^Once, when they were discussing telepathy,
1650P11 I did think of something to_ say; but by the time I finished
1660P11 rehearsing it, it was too late, and Ashley was onto the subject of
1670P11 robots visiting this earth and demanding audience with kings, queens,
1680P11 water hydrants and whatnot. $^*Ashlyn (as my mother used to_ call
1690P11 him) had non-conformist views on religion and god. ^He*'1d say
1700P11 things like, "Religion is an illusion from which we all sometimes
1701P11 suffer," and, "God is an
1710P11 excuse that_ we use too often." ^All this would upset my mother
1720P11 and she*'1d start wringing her pudgy hands. ^But I would feel a
1730P11 little foolish, thinking of all the wooden crucifixes over our beds and
1740P11 the pictures of various saints ascending to heaven printed on slick magazine
1750P11 paper. $^*Ashley liked music. ^Often he would strum a careless
1760P11 chord on Chris*' guitar, and sometimes he would sing. ^A
1770P11 lot of his music was sad, and some of it constituted a "message" and
1780P11 echoed a generation*'s disillusion and protest calling for the love of man
1790P11 for man.*#
        **[no. of words = 02010**]

        **[txt. p12**]
0020P12 **<*3come fly with me*0**>
0030P12 $*3^THIS*0 is the story of Dadabhoy Pesi Eduwala known to his
0040P12 friends variously as "Egghead" and "Dada". and it is also about
0050P12 a carpet and a girl and a villain named Cassius, but we*'3ll come to
0060P12 them later. $^To_ get back to our hero; there were good reasons for
0070P12 each of his appellations. ^*Egghead was not only a pun on his name...
0080P12 "Edu" is the Parsi word for egg... it was aslo a description because
0090P12 our protagonist was as bald as one. ^And, finally, it referred
0100P12 to his hobby which was the collection and sale of rare carpets about
0110P12 which subject he waxed erudite. $^As for "Dada", though he was
0120P12 a mild-mannered man most of the time there was a certain quality in him
0130P12 that_ surfaced under great emotion. ^For instance, there was the
0140P12 time a rich and Mercedes owning client swore at him before the beauteous
0150P12 Miss Tootsie D*'3sa. ^*Pesi took it all without a flicker
0160P12 of emotion but he did make gentle enquiries with a chemical engineering
0170P12 colleague about the destructive powers of a mixture of Nitric and Hydrochloric
0180P12 Acid also known as Aqua Regia. ^A week later the affluent
0190P12 client suffered a considerable heart attack when his prize car was
0200P12 irreparably damaged by criss-crossing lines of corrosive liquid.
0210P12 ^But such aberrations, as I have said, were rare. ^He was, generally,
0220P12 a soft-spoken, self-effacing young man who preferred to_ pursue
0230P12 his esoteric-- though profitable-- hobby alone. $^And then the inevitable
0240P12 happened. ^*Pesi fell madly in love with Tootsie.
0250P12 ^It was the classic thing, soulful looks and sighs: the works. ^Every
0260P12 morning he went down from the Parsi Colony in Dadar to Santa
0270P12 Cruz... which is where girls like Tootsie live; waited with hang-dog
0280P12 spaniel eyes on the platform; allowed his heart to_ thump hard when she
0290P12 hoved in sight like a racing yacht... sleek lines built for speed,
0300P12 her spinnakers bursting with promise; and then trotted behind her to_
0310P12 enter the next compartment where he strap-hung in a rosy glow till the
0320P12 local slid into echoing Churchgate Station. ^But never once, not
0330P12 a single time in the first two weeks, did he dream of speaking to his
0340P12 vision of delight. $^It was what might have been referred to as a
0350P12 stale-mate if the word "mate" had not been so terribly inappropriate.
0360P12 $^And then one day, when Pesi was being carried along with the crowd
0370P12 streaming up over the Churchgate overbridge, Cassius Fonseca
0380P12 shouldered his way through and kept pace with him in the surging crowd.
0390P12 ^*Cassius was a live-wire salesman, all flashing teeth and knife-edge
0400P12 creases and brittle staccato bonhomie. ^And Cassius said:
0410P12 $"Say, Dada, what gives? ^How*'1s tricks?" ^He spoke in a dated
0420P12 slang compounded of movies, James Hadley Chase, and Byculla which
0430P12 is where he lived when he was not travelling. $^*Pesi stepped
0440P12 back to_ avoid a thrusting, double-chinned dowager smelling of Chanel.
0450P12 $"^Oh, good evening, Cassius," he said precisely. "^*I*'3m
0460P12 very fine. ^How are you?" $^*Cassius grabbed his arm and
0470P12 propelled them through a break in the crowd, three downward steps at
0480P12 a time. "^Fine. ^Top of the world. ^A-- \0OK." ^They
0490P12 stepped onto the pavement and Cassius grabbed his arm again and they
0500P12 ran into the station, down the platform, swung into a waiting train.
0510P12 $"^Oh dear!" said Pesi. "^This is a First Class compartment.
0520P12 ^*I never travel First." $^*Cassius grinned, pulled him down
0530P12 on the upholstered seat. "^No sweat. ^More comfort. ^But do tell:
0540P12 what*'1s with you and the Tittsie Bird? ^Eh?" $^*Pesi looked
0550P12 around embarrassed. ^There were at least ten other people in the compartment
0560P12 but they were all engaged in the "Evening News," the "Economic
0570P12 Times" or "Imprint"... but he blushed all the same. $"^*I..."
0580P12 he felt hot under the collar, "I don*'4t know what you mean," he mumbled.
0590P12 $"^Ye gods!" ^*Cassius slapped his thigh with a crack like
0600P12 a pistol shot. "^Don*'4t say you haven*'4t whispered sweet nothings in
0610P12 her shell-pink ear..." the train started and flashed out of Churchagate.
0620P12 "^Or kissed those juicy lips. ^Or squeezed those..." another
0630P12 train rushed past and mercifully, drowned Cassius*' words, but Pesi
0640P12 blushed again. ^However, beneath the blush, something else had
0650P12 begun to_ stir. $"^No," he said and his voice was not as gentle
0660P12 as it had been. $"^Hah!" exploded Cassius, after he had assessed
0670P12 the potential of a red *4salwar-kameez walking with a cheese-cloth top
0680P12 and patched jeans at Marine Lines. "^Then why don*'4t you?" $^The
0690P12 thing within Pesi moved with greater determination and he frowned.
0700P12 "^Why don*'4t I what?" he asked, his voice edged with hardness.
0710P12 $"^Why don*'4t you whisper sweet nothings in her shell-pink ears,
0720P12 kiss those juicy lips and squeeze..." Cassius caught the steel-edge
0730P12 flash in Pesi*'s eyes and he paused, shivering inwardly,..... those
0740P12 lovely hands," he finished lamely. ^And then he stood up to_ leave
0750P12 at the approaching Grant Road which was a station before his
0760P12 destination. ^He was surprised to_ see his victim rise with him
0770P12 and come to the door. ^The train slowed, stopped. ^*Pesi said
0780P12 softly: "What were you saying?" there was no doubt about the menace
0790P12 in his voice and expression. ^He also seemed to_ be much bigger now.
0800P12 $^*Cassius stepped away, allowing other passengers to_ alight.
0810P12 ^He looked at Pesi and hesitated, and then he said: "No hard feelings,
0820P12 eh? ^No offence. ^Brotherly advice, huh? ^Why don*'4t you
0830P12 try and date her, eh? ^Just try, eh? \0^*OK goodbye then. ^Goodbye."
0840P12 $^And he stepped off the train just as it began to_ move, so
0850P12 perhaps it was an accident. ^Perhaps. ^But when he landed on
0860P12 the platform his teeth hit first, then his nose, then his lips and then
0870P12 his forehead which immediately opened in a two inch slash and made a
0880P12 gory mess on the concrete. $^But the train had already rushed
0890P12 out of the station and Pesi was resting back on the seat, his eyes
0900P12 veiled in thought so that even the ticket checker passed him by respectfully.
0910P12 $*3^SOMETHING*0 emerged out of all that_, the Dada personality
0920P12 began to_ take over. ^*Pesi bought orchids from Apollo
0930P12 Florist, cakes from Bombellis and, with considerable courage presented
0940P12 them to the beauteous \0Miss Tootsie D*'3sa and said: $"^\0Miss D*'3sa...
0950P12 Tootsie... accept these as a birthday present. ^From me."
0960P12 $^*Tootsie was surprised and not a little flattered. "^But...
0970P12 it*'1s not my birthday. ^Is it?" she looked at him under lowered lashes
0980P12 (she was that_ sort of girl)... "^Is it your birthday?" $"^No,"
0990P12 said Pesi, with considerable vehemence which surprised even him.
1000P12 "^It is not my birthday. ^But then the chances are that one million
1010P12 seven hundred and thirty-seven thousand Indians are celebrating
1020P12 their birthdays today... or they should be celebrating their birthdays
1030P12 today... so why don*'4t we join them? $^*Tootsie did a swift calculation,
1040P12 for she was secretary to the Chief Accountant, and regarded
1050P12 Pesi with new respect. ^Any man who could pull such a line, calculate
1060P12 so fast, and work with so much panache... or was it eclat?... must have
1070P12 something in him. ^She decided to_ find out. \0^*OK, she
1080P12 said, deciding to_ break her date for that_ evening. ^And thus did
1090P12 the friendship blossom. $^And blossom it did for Pesi was generous,
1100P12 unusual... any man with such a young face and such a glistening bald
1110P12 head is unusual... dressed well and was interesting when he got onto
1120P12 his favourite topic. $"^How did you first get interested in carpets?"
1130P12 she asked, when they dined in the Golden Dragon. $"^Through
1140P12 the Arabian Nights," he said, helping her to a liberal measure of
1150P12 prawns in garlic sauce. $"^The Arabian Nights?" she repeated, wondering.
1160P12 $^He nodded but did not elaborate. ^They sat close in the
1170P12 taxi but he did not hold her hand or try any "funny stuff" as
1180P12 she termed such activities. $"^What do you mean "Arabian Nights'?"
1190P12 she asked, gently disengaging her hand when the interval lights came
1200P12 on in *3Star Wars*0 on their next date. $"^*Flying Carpets," said Pesi,
1210P12 looking at her lovingly. ^And then they went out to_ buy slabs
1220P12 of Amul chocolate. $^That_ night they held hands in the taxi but
1230P12 that_ was all. $^During a Sunday lunch at the Outrigger she said:
1240P12 "You still haven*'4t told me about the carpet thing." $"^What
1250P12 carpet thing?" he asked, delighting in her cool, lime-green dress that_
1260P12 seemed to_ light up her tawny skin. $"^That_ tie up with the Arabian
1270P12 Nights and all that_. ^What*'1s so secret about it?" $^He looked
1280P12 into her amber eyes and said: "This is the wrong time and place.
1290P12 ^Can I come across this evening or will your two nursemaids be around?
1300P12 $^She frowned. ^*Pesi had kissed her once on the steps of the flat
1310P12 she shared with two nurses and once in a taxi but she had never let him
1320P12 into the flat. ^And then she said: "\0OK." ^This evening.
1330P12 ^At 6.30. ^The nursemaids... as you call them... return at 9." $^He
1340P12 nodded and smiled. "^That_*'3ll be enough," he said and then added,
1350P12 "for the story." $^She knew what to_ expect, of course, and she
1360P12 was ready. ^*Tootsie was a girl of her age and so she carried out all
1370P12 her flight checks... as they are sometimes referred to_... shooed
1380P12 away her room-mates, dabbed perfume on all the usual places and a few
1390P12 unusual ones and was all set for take-off when the bell rang and he was
1400P12 at the door with a huge bunch of roses. $^Well, of course, that_
1410P12 wasn*'4t quite in the programme. ^Men don*'4t come around with
1420P12 roses nowadays, not on such a promising date: a bottle of perfume would
1430P12 be more appropriate and far more rewarding. ^So that_ was the first
1440P12 disappointment. ^And then, when they got settled on the sofa, and
1450P12 soft music played, and the lights were just right, he said: "I*'3ll
1460P12 tell you about Flying Carpets," and he did. ^So these were the
1470P12 second and third disappointments. ^She tried to_ appear interested for
1480P12 the first ten minutes but after that_ her attention waned and she made
1490P12 the appropriate noises for a while but, then, when he still went on
1500P12 she didn*'4t even try to_ seem interested. $^So she missed all the
1510P12 fascinating details about the ancient Bokharo carpets created by
1520P12 the wandering Turkomans. ^*Little carpets that_ glowed like jewels
1530P12 with cleverly woven silk threads in geometrical designs. ^And his
1540P12 theory that some of them incorporated ancient lore from the lost civilization
1550P12 of Mu where strange circuits were threaded into the little rugs
1560P12 the way electronic circuits are printed now. ^And how these circuits
1570P12 were powered by that_ mysterious force called gravity which was really
1580P12 the warp of space around matter. ^And how all they required was for
1590P12 a man to_ sit on the appropriate spot and *3will*0 the movement of the
1600P12 carpet... for what was will but the focused projection of the mind-force?...
1610P12 and the carpet would rise and flow along the gravitic lines
1620P12 of power. ^A forward slant of the body and the carpet would go down,
1630P12 a backward lean and the carpet would rise, right and left tilts would
1640P12 make it bank and turn. ^Of course this was all legend and lore but if
1650P12 he could find such a carpet... for he was certain that they existed...
1660P12 then he would make a fortune and.... $^He paused there, brought
1670P12 back to reality by the silence around him. ^The cassette had switched
1680P12 itself off, his voice had stopped, and Tootsie was quiet.
1690P12 ^In fact, she was fast asleep. $^He arose, terribly ashamed and confused,
1700P12 and tiptoed slowly out of the door. ^On the way down he met
1710P12 the two nursemaids coming up and blushed when they gave him knowing smiles.
1720P12 $*3^THAT_*0 was the end, of course. ^No budding affair can
1730P12 take that_ sort of beating. ^His assertive Dada personality submerged
1740P12 itself in shame. ^He had his desk shifted to an obscure corner
1750P12 of the office and timed his arrivals and departures so that they would
1760P12 not meet, even accidentally. $^She was a little hurt, at first.
1770P12 ^But then she rationalised it, as all women can. "^*I can*'4t marry a
1780P12 carpet seller, can I?" she asked herself in the mirror. "^And
1790P12 he has no future in the office, does he?"*#
        **[no. of words = 02020**]

        **[txt. p13**]
0010P13 **<*3The Lost Rapture*0**> **[leader comment begin**] $*3^Talk of the
0020P13 town she was. ^Everyone had his own little story to_ relate. ^How she,
0030P13 a woman of 49, had smiled at him like an adolescent, how the fake gypsy
0040P13 woman had spat on her face, how her fancy man on the motorbike had blown
0050P13 her a sly kiss... **[leader comment end**] $*3^*MONIKA CHANDA*0
0060P13 keeps a beautiful house off one of the wide tree-lined avenues of imperial
0070P13 Delhi-- New Delhi, as it is properly called by those with an
0080P13 ear for historical accuracy, the seat of the newest empire-builders. $^As
0090P13 one sweeps up the wide sweeping drive-- what else can one do but sweep?--
0100P13 past the flaming bougainvillaea and the strategic laburnum that_
0110P13 periodically lets fall over the freshly raked gravel a spray of yellow
0120P13 blossoms, one comes upon a discreetly hedged-in rose-garden, set in
0130P13 a lawn as near as you can get to emerald in an unfortunately tropical
0140P13 climate. ^Delicately worked cane-chairs, the finest Darjeeling in a silver
0150P13 service, and you*'3re beginning to_ get the picture. $^The drapes
0160P13 in the sitting-room are a modest raw silk, pale cream to_ set off
0170P13 the pale pastels of the upholstery. ^Eye-level lighting from assorted
0180P13 beautiful lamps and a mildly incongruous studio light permanently trained
0190P13 upon a large antique Rajasthani print. ^But this is tiresome. ^The
0200P13 beautiful Monika Chanda keeps a beautiful house and, for someone
0210P13 who has been in and out of the cocktail circuit for the past quarter
0220P13 of a century, it would be surprising if she didn*'4t. ^And she
0230P13 does*'4t like to_ give big surprises. $^Everything, in fact, accords with
0240P13 the dignity and-- what is that_ horrid word the lower middle-classes
0250P13 use with such anxious frequency?-- *3status*0 of her husband*'s office.
0260P13 ^He is a faceless bureaucrat and rumour has it that the more faceless
0270P13 they become the more inscrutably powerful. ^Well, \0Mr Chanda is
0280P13 nearly invisible. $^Through this pastel dream compounded from Beautiful
0290P13 Homes and Cottage Industries *3bric-a-brac*0, Monika Chanda moves
0300P13 effortlessly like some weird fawn, her slim waist the envy of all
0310P13 the knitting pachyderms with whom she dutifully associates. $^A photograph
0320P13 on the bedroom shelf reminds the whirring air-conditioners of the
0330P13 doe-eyed, startlingly innocent beauty who drove so many young men into
0340P13 careers and worse. ^But the years have been kind to our heroine and,
0350P13 at forty-nine, Monika Chanda is even more charming. ^There is about
0360P13 her a kind of softness, a cool civilised invitation that_ is the
0370P13 very opposite of the nervous tight aura teenagers carry around. $^There
0380P13 is a touch of mischief about her I must tell you of. ^Nothing *7outre,
0390P13 mind you. ^She is terribly correct and does all the things she
0400P13 ought to_ do-- even coffee mornings with "official wives"-- with quite
0410P13 improbable grace. ^But I sometimes think she goes through it all with
0420P13 the barely concealed smile of a playful little girl. $^Once-- and this
0430P13 is only hearsay but I*'3m prepared to_ believe it-- she served up underdone
0440P13 spaghetti at a *3terribly*0 important buffet lunch. ^Oh! she
0450P13 was frightfully apologetic what with the spectacle of spaghetti strewn
0460P13 silks and long loops of live *4pasta curling down from important mouths,
0470P13 but it nearly cost her husband, the invisible \0Mr Chanda, a \0UN
0480P13 assignment he had worked long for. ^Yet-- and this is where she is
0490P13 incomparably exquisite-- I don't think she could really have given the
0500P13 teeniest unladylike damn. $^There are lots of other little things I
0510P13 could tell you about except I think I won*'4t. ^*I*'3m not prudish or
0520P13 anything, but I don*'4t trust my intuition about such things any more.
0530P13 ^My imagination, oh well, my imagination. ^*I*'3ll tell you what a
0540P13 friend of mine once said-- when a girl smiled at him in the library one
0550P13 day he feared it might be no more than his figment of an imagination
0560P13 gone wild. ^Well, my figment is going round the bend. $*3^IN*0 the
0570P13 manner of husbands who have beautiful wives they can but faintly comprehend,
0580P13 Ashwin Chanda-- Ash to his friends and to many others besides--
0590P13 is devotedly, anxiously and sometimes dismissively solicitous of Monika*'s
0600P13 well-being. ^When last October he coudn*'4t get away for even
0610P13 as much as a week-- an emergency, no less-- he arranged accommodation
0620P13 for his wife and two sons in a picturesquely rustic but quite comfortable
0630P13 "hut" on a fir-clad mountainside in Kulu so that they, at any
0640P13 rate, could get away from the metropolitan metronome. ^Move to a different
0650P13 rhythm or something like that_. ^Air tickets, persons to_ contact
0660P13 in case of difficulty, he felt happy. ^A dutiful man, he had done his
0670P13 duty. ^And after he had seen them off at Palam he confessed to
0680P13 himself, discreetly and in the strictest confidence, that he felt, actually,
0690P13 relieved. $^*October clouds are rare in Kulu, so when dark masses
0700P13 of menacing rain-cloud began creeping up from behind the mountains,
0710P13 darkening the valley skies, the superstitious local people found a
0720P13 ready explanation in the impending visit of important personages for the
0730P13 official inaugural of the autumn festival. ^But \0Mrs Chanda was
0740P13 in the valley already, comfortably ensconced, with her two sons-- Abhijit,
0750P13 aged twenty, and Arup, who had just turned eighteen. $^As they
0760P13 came down the hillside that_ morning the air was heavy with the threat
0770P13 of rain. ^And that_ wasn*'nt all. ^The kind of enervating, sterile tension
0780P13 that_ dogs all official celebration like a mocking halo, that_ makes
0790P13 all state festivities feel like state funerals and, in all fairness,
0800P13 *8*3vice versa*0*9, was splashed all over the strained faces that_
0810P13 were busily rushing around. $^Some persons were putting up a pavilion
0820P13 detailing all the magnificent progress made by the state and the nation,
0830P13 the inevitable handloom stall was hawking Kulu *4shawls and ridiculous
0840P13 caps, and an \0FP booth was issuing megaphonic calls to all and
0850P13 sundry to_ come and get themselves sterilised for the nation. ^On the
0860P13 other side of the road-- the other side belongs to the people-- lime-filled
0870P13 borders marked the area allotted to each stall. ^There were some
0880P13 sweetmeat sellers doing a dull trade and the inevitable plainsfolk selling
0890P13 the tawdry woollens that_ are the lasting gift of the shoddy to the
0900P13 pavements of India. $*3^DEPRESSING.*0 ^It is unlikely that either
0910P13 Monika Chanda or her sons even noticed the ramshackle structure
0920P13 of corrugated tin and cheap wooden planks that_ was being put up quite
0930P13 some distance behind the sweetmeat shops and the piles of Ludhiana
0940P13 rubbish. ^And when the two young men said that they would rather go
0950P13 on up the valley to Manali and beyond, she felt it would be cruel not
0960P13 to_ let them. ^She herself would stay up at the hut, unwinding. ^Read
0970P13 a book, take a walk, watch the colts at play, pick flowers. $^And that_
0980P13 is just what she did-- or most of it, most of the day, anyway. ^She
0990P13 was reading a novel about a lot of people living together in some fantastic
1000P13 mountain sanatorium where they seemed to_ do nothing all day except
1010P13 talk intelligently of life and love and other momentous matters.
1020P13 $^But by late afternoon she was beginning to_ feel gently, unassertively
1030P13 bored. ^And when the harsh voice came grating over the public address
1040P13 system-- the well of death, ladies and gentlemen, come to the well
1050P13 of death... a daring young man... flower of his youth... risk his life
1060P13 for you, only fifty *4paise...-- she could no more resist it than a
1070P13 romantic hero the call of a flute playing across shadowy waters. ^She
1080P13 would stretch her limbs, take the air-- for the clouds had miraculously
1090P13 dispersed. $^The rest is not very pleasant, so I*'3m going to_
1100P13 get it over with as briefly as I can. ^What she saw for her fifty *4paise
1110P13 was a young man in a printed artificial silk shirt that_ was unbuttoned
1120P13 almost all the way down to his sternum-- it*'1s where the floating
1130P13 ribs are, in case you didn*'4t know *3that_*0-- his long hair slicked
1140P13 down with brilliantine so they glistened, standing beside a stripped
1150P13 down motorcycle-- naked, if you see what I mean, nothing but the action.
1160P13 ^Also on the platform was a gypsy-looking woman in a tight-fitting
1170P13 blouse and a long printed skirt in some absurdly clinging material, with
1180P13 a bright silk scarf round her neck which she tied on the wrist of
1190P13 our hero in a theatrical gesture before he began his descent into the
1200P13 well of death. ^But I don*'4t think she noticed her. ^Not then. $*3^As*0
1210P13 far as I*'3m concerned, if you*'3ve seen one motorcycle act, you*'3ve
1220P13 seen them all. ^The motor starts reluctantly-- suspense-- and, when
1230P13 it does, the rider just slips down the slope and keeps going on and on,
1240P13 up and down with the accumulating momentum of his whirling machine
1250P13 for as long as he thinks his viewers*' interest will hold. ^The motor
1260P13 coughs and splutters, but they always come out all right. ^And the suckers
1270P13 go away thinking they*'3ve had their money*'s worth. ^Well of death
1280P13 indeed! $^The point is that no one, but no one, goes back. ^Except
1290P13 Monika Chanda. ^Not that_ very afternoon, in all fairness-- she went
1300P13 for a walk in the mountains, vaguely agitated. ^Something had moved.
1310P13 $^But the next morning she was there. ^When the small-time impresario
1320P13 put up his shutters, coughing to_ clear his throat before he began barking
1330P13 his invitation into the crackling system, he was surprised to_ find
1340P13 the elegant \0Mrs Chanda, radiant in silk, waiting. ^And she was
1350P13 there for the rest of the day, she must have spent a small fortune watching
1360P13 that_ ridiculous young man going round and round on his silly motor-cycle.
1370P13 $^Talk of the town she was. ^Everyone had his own little
1380P13 story to_ relate. ^How she had smiled at him like some moistening adolescent--
1390P13 I can believe *3that_*0-- how the fake gypsy woman had spat
1400P13 on her face, how her fancy man had blown her a kiss during a slack period
1410P13 on the fourth afternoon when no one was looking-- or so he thought...
1420P13 $*3^LATER*0 that_ afternoon, when she went on her walk to_ still
1430P13 her agitated spirit, to_ stroke and soothe the ruffled garish thing
1440P13 that_ was thrusting itself into life within her, he followed her. ^He
1450P13 caught up with her in a secluded part of the wood and must have said
1460P13 something as hysterically banal as "^*I love you" because she laughed.
1470P13 ^But at once she began to_ feel guilty. ^The pain, the raw hurt, the
1480P13 simple sense of injury in his eyes as he flinched, his hands bereft of
1490P13 the reassurance of his stripped motorcycle, fingering the empty air--
1500P13 that_ really got through to her. $^Oh I don*'4t really think it was
1510P13 love. ^It was something far deadlier. ^It was pity, pity for him, for
1520P13 his desperate vulgarity, for herself, immured behind pastel shades of
1530P13 raw silk. ^But, from that_ day on, Monika Chanda behaved as irresponsibly
1540P13 as if she were a flower-child on Anjuna and not a respectable
1550P13 mother of two fine strapping sons now exploring the monastery at Keylong,
1560P13 impeccable hostess, wife of the equally impeccable Ash Chanda,
1570P13 senior civil servant. $*3^THE*0 townspeople, of course, say she flirted
1580P13 outrageously, but you can discount some of that_. ^Yet it is certainly
1590P13 true that the scandal grew to such proportions that the impresario,
1600P13 aforementioned, thought seriously of moving his show to some place
1610P13 where viewers were not likely to_ get quite so involved as to_ watch
1620P13 *3every*0 trip down into the well of death with lips half-open, eyes
1630P13 tense with ecstasy and, I*'3m afraid, rather superfluous concern. ^They
1640P13 say they even saw them walking hand in hand, her head on his shoulder,
1650P13 her silvering hair falling softly over his artiflcial silk shirt...
1660P13 $^When her sons returned, they did not find her where they had expected
1670P13 to_ find her, curled around a book. ^And it soon became evident
1680P13 from the servant*'s faces that something was the matter. ^The well of
1690P13 death, one of them blurted, then turned away to_ conceal the smile of
1700P13 vicarious delight that_ was suffusing his countenance. $^Both of
1710P13 them started down the hillside but it was the younger son, Arup who flung
1720P13 a *(rupee-note*) at the bewildered impresario and clattered up the
1721P13 rickety wooden
1730P13 stairs just as that_ particular descent was approching fulfilment.*#
        **[no. of words = 02031**]

        **[txt. p14**]
0010P14 **<*3the path of sidney carton*0:**> $*3^*DINESH*0 smiled wryly when
0020P14 the advertisement 'Made for each other' appeared on the screen. ^He
0030P14 then looked at Kalpana through the corner of his eye. "^Only the
0040P14 horoscopes matched," he grumbled to himself. "^Certainly we*'3re not made
0050P14 for eacth other. ^Oh, if only I had met Lavanya before I got
0060P14 hitched up to this plain-looking Kalpana....." ^He couldn*'4t help
0070P14 comparing Lavanya*'s beauty, her charm, her poise.... $^Why
0080P14 was Kalpana so insistent in dragging him to the picture?-- he wondered.
0090P14 ^Never had she been so stubborn and insinuating. ^Does she suspect
0100P14 his affair with Lavanya? "^*I feel neglected," she burst out that_
0110P14 morning. ^You always come home late... and you don*'4t seem to_
0120P14 care for me." $"^Oh no, Kalpana," he had protested. "^Work is heavy...."
0130P14 $"^This evening we*'3re going to a picture," she had suddenly announced
0140P14 and stared at him as if to_ ask: "^Any objection," $"^Why not
0150P14 some other day?" ^He tried to_ stall her, remembering his appointment
0160P14 with Lavanya. $"^Why? ^Do you have any important appointment
0170P14 with anyone?" ^The way in which she had stressed 'important' and 'anyone'
0180P14 made him wince. ^She was so adamant that he had to_ finally yield.
0190P14 $*3^*LAVANYA*0 also was giving him trouble. ^She was pestering him
0200P14 to_ marry her soon. ^At their last meeting at the Marina Beach,
0210P14 she had almost delivered an ultimatum. "^*Dinesh, how long do you
0220P14 think we can carry on like this? ^Vicious tongues have already started
0230P14 wagging. ^You may not care.... but I do. ^And what*'1s the difficulty
0240P14 in getting a divorce from Kalpana?" $"^Well" he had replied, "do
0250P14 you think it*'1s going to_ be that_ easy?" $"^*I don*'4t care,"
0260P14 she had said. "^You*'3ve to_ somehow manage it. ^If you really love
0270P14 me, you*'3ll do anything.... and when I say any **[sic**] anything..."
0280P14 $^The harsh way in which she had put it, made him shudder. ^He wondered
0290P14 whether Kalpana would agree to_ easily or would she give him
0300P14 endless trouble? ^Anyway he*'1d have to_ face it. ^But how to_
0310P14 open the topic? ^*Dinesh sighed deeply. $^His deep sigh made Kalpana
0320P14 glance at him. "^No doubt he*'1s sighing for that_ Lavanya!,"
0330P14 she told herself. ^Her friend Jaya had already told her about his affair
0340P14 with Lavanya. ^She had seen them together at several places. ^And
0350P14 Jaya was no gossip. ^When Kalpana learnt that Lavanya was a
0360P14 ravishing beauty and that she was working as a steno in Dinesh*'s
0370P14 office, her heart sank. ^*Jaya didnt leave before delivering a pep
0380P14 talk. "^Look here Kalpana," she had said, "^It*'1s all your fault.
0390P14 ^You should keep him to yourself. ^Never allow him an opportunity to_
0400P14 roam about as he pleases. ^Insist on his taking you out often... and
0410P14 why not start with a picture to-morrow itself?" $*3^AS*0 they
0420P14 came out of the theatre and were settling in the car, Kalpana asked.
0430P14 "^Why not go via Marina?... ^The sea breeze will be refreshing....."
0440P14 ^*Dinesh silently turned the car towards Marina. $^As the car
0450P14 was cruising along the broad beach road, Kalpana broke the uncomfortable
0460P14 silence by asking, "^Did you like the picture?" $"^So-so," he
0470P14 answered indifferently. $^Kalpana couldn*'4t contain herself any longer.
0480P14 "^Perhaps you*'1d have liked it if Lavanya had come with you,"
0490P14 she blurted. ^She then bit her lip when it occurred to her that she
0500P14 had been tactless in having opened the subject so bluntly. ^The
0510P14 car swerved a bit off the centre of the road as her words hit him.
0520P14 ^*Dinesh steadied himself and then threw a quick glance at
0530P14 her. ^He then brought the car to a sudden halt near the kerb. ^Despite
0540P14 the cool breeze, beads of perspiration had suddenly sprouted
0550P14 on his forehead. $"^Who told you? ^He asked while wiping the sweat
0560P14 with a kerchief. "^Does it really matter?.... ^*I wish it were untrue....
0570P14 please assure me that there*'1s no such woman called Lavanya
0580P14 in your life...." $^Though sweating, his feeling was one of relief.
0590P14 ^After Lavanya*'s ultimatum, he was wondering how to_ broach the
0600P14 subject. ^*Kalpana had saved him the embarrassment. $"^*I*'3m sorry
0610P14 Kalpana," he said, "I myself thought of telling you everything.....
0620P14 but someone has forestalled me." $"^Then.... then.... it*'1s
0630P14 true?" $"*3^YES*0 ^And I couldn*'4t help it. ^*Lavanya draws me
0640P14 like a magnet.... ^She*'1s eager to_ marry me and asked me to_ divorce
0650P14 you...." ^He knew that he was putting it very bluntly but he was
0660P14 anxious to_ spill out everything. $"^And what was your reply?" she
0670P14 felt like asking, but kept mum as she dreaded to_ hear the unfavourable
0680P14 reply. ^She had never expected things to_ have gone that_ far.
0690P14 ^And the suddenness of the blow stunned her into silence. $^*Dinesh
0700P14 had expected her to_ erupt like a volcano and was preparing himself
0710P14 to_ face the onslaught. ^Her silence surprised and perturbed him.
0720P14 ^He decided to_ leave it there for the time being and switched on
0730P14 the ignition. $^As soon as they reached home, he told her, "^*I*'3ll
0740P14 skip dinner... I don*'4t feel like taking anything..." $^Though
0750P14 she felt he had wronged her, she couldn*'4t help asking, "^Why not
0760P14 atleast have a little of rice with *4rasam *4pappad or pickle?" $^The
0770P14 genuine concern in her voice made him feel ashamed of himself.
0780P14 ^A faint 'No' escaped from him as he hurried into the bed-room. ^As
0790P14 she also didn*'4t feel like taking anything, she shoved the dishes
0800P14 into the fridge. $^When she came back, he had already gone to bed.
0810P14 ^It hurt her to_ see him facing the wall. ^Had he turned his back
0820P14 on her once and for all? $*3^SHE*0 slumped on the bed and tears started
0830P14 running down her cheeks. ^However, she suppressed her sobs-- she
0840P14 was too proud to_ let him know that she was crying. ^Even while weeping,
0850P14 she racked her brain to_ find a way out of the impending crisis.
0860P14 ^Everything looked bleak. ^She felt that her whole future was going
0870P14 to_ crumble like a house of cards swept by a swift wind. $^When
0880P14 she got up the next morning, she was running a temperture. ^She didn*'4t
0890P14 take it seriously. ^She thought that it must have been brought
0900P14 about by the previous night*'s shocks, sweating and crying and took
0910P14 some patent medicines. ^But the fever continued even after three days
0920P14 of self-medication. ^And all these three days Dinesh had not
0930P14 spoken to her. ^In a way, his deliberate silence suited her for it helped
0940P14 her to_ avoid the dreaded topic-- divorce. "^No, I can never agree
0950P14 to_ divorce." she told herself. "^But what*'1s the way out? ^Things
0960P14 can*'4t go on like this....," ^She also reminded herself. ^She
0970P14 didn*'4t feel like telling Dinesh about her fever. ^When he had not
0980P14 cared for her love, why should she bother him about her body? $^*Kalpana
0990P14 always had a delicate constitution. ^The fever and lack of proper
1000P14 treatment had made her very weak. ^On the fourth night, she collapsed
1010P14 on the floor while coming out of the bath-room. ^*Dinesh reached
1020P14 her on the cot. ^As soon as he placed his hand on her forehead,
1030P14 he cried out, "^My goodness, it*'1s pretty hot. ^How long have you
1040P14 been suffering like this?" $"^For the past four days," she replied
1050P14 weakly. $"^Then why didn*'4t you tell me... ^Or at least you could
1060P14 have called the doctor....." $^There was more anguish than reproach
1070P14 in his voice. ^He then rushed to the phone and contacted the doctor.
1080P14 $*3^THE*0 doctor put her on powerful drugs. ^*Dinesh had applied
1090P14 for a week*'s leave. ^He could have easily saved himself the botheration
1100P14 by dumping her in a nursing home. ^But he preferred to_ stay
1110P14 beside her and give her his personal attention. ^That_ mellowed her
1120P14 attitude towards him. "^*I know that he*'1s basically good," she told
1130P14 herself. "^Though he doesn*'4t love me, he hasn*'4t failed in
1140P14 his duty as a husband." ^But if he didn*'4t love her what could she
1150P14 do about it? ^Love is something that_ cannot be forced on anyone-- it
1160P14 has to_ gush out spontaneously... ^*Kalpana felt bored lying down.
1170P14 ^She got up and rummaged the shelf and took out her favourite book:
1180P14 '^A Tale of Two Cities'. ^Though she had read it several times,
1190P14 she never got tired of reading it again and again. $^As she was
1200P14 going through the book, several questions crowded her mind. "^What*'1s
1210P14 the depth of my love for Dinesh?", she asked herself. "^Is it
1220P14 as deep, abiding and self-sacrificing as Sydney Carton*'s? ^Have
1230P14 I always placed Dinesh*'s happiness above mine? ^Am I not selfish
1240P14 and possessive? ^Shouldn*'4t I follow the path of Sydney Carton--
1250P14 to_ sacrifice myself so that Dinesh and Lavanya could live happily?"
1260P14 $^As she deeply pondered over these things, a certain calmness
1270P14 and serenity descended on her. "^Divorce, no," she told herself.
1280P14 ".....but death, yes." ^She wished that the fever would push
1290P14 her into the jaws of death. ^That_ would solve all problems-- her*'s
1300P14 Dinesh*'s and Lavanya*'s. ^She wanted to_ be like camphor-- to_burn
1310P14 out her life to_ brighten Dinesh*'s. ^That_ decision made her
1320P14 lose all interest in life. ^And with that_ went out her will to_
1330P14 combat the disease. $*3^*DINESH*0 was alarmed by the sudden deterioration
1340P14 in her condition. ^He urgently summoned the doctor. $^After
1350P14 completing his investigation, the elderly doctor slowly shook his
1360P14 head in despair. "^*I*'3m afraid it*'1s more psychological than
1370P14 physical," he told Dinesh. "^She seems to_ have lost all zest for
1380P14 living.... she looks so depressed..... something seems to_ be tormenting
1390P14 her mind... ^And you know, the dominance of the mind over the body
1400P14 is something that_ can*'4t be ignored. ^Once the mind loses the desire
1410P14 to_ live, a seriously afflicted body*'s defence crumble very quickly.
1420P14 ^Then even the most potent drug may not be effective...." ^He
1430P14 then looked straight into Dinesh*'s eyes and said, "^Of course,
1440P14 you must be knowing better.... ^It*'1s for you to_ infuse in
1450P14 her the will to_ live... the will to_ fight back..." ^*Dinesh averte
1460P14 the doctor*'s probing gaze. ^He felt guilty. ^He also felt that the
1470P14 shrewd doctor must have somehow guessed their estranged relationship.
1480P14 ^Otherwise why should he talk like that_ and look at him in that_
1490P14 peculiar way? $^After the doctor*'s departure, Dinesh, started
1500P14 brooding over his pregnant words. ^He wondered whether Kalpana
1510P14 was deliberately finding a way out through death. ^His thoughts were
1520P14 jarred by the sharp ringing of the phone. $\0^*Mr. Sharma, the
1530P14 Chief Accountant, was on the line. $"^How*'1s your missus?" he
1540P14 asked. $"^Still not out of danger," Dinesh replied. $"^Oh, I*'3m
1550P14 so sorry \0Mr. Dinesh. ^In that_ case I shouldn*'4t trouble
1560P14 you....." $"^What*'1s it?" $"*3^WELL...*0 you know that the
1570P14 audit is going on. ^They want some clarification which we feel you
1580P14 alone can give.... ^As the General Body meeting is fast approaching
1590P14 the audit has to_ be completed quickly.... ^*I was wondering
1600P14 whether it would be possible for you to_ go over here for just
1610P14 an hour.... ^But don*'4t bother... ^We*'3ll somehow manage...."
1620P14 $"^Please hold on.." Dinesh cupped the mouthpiece of the phone with
1630P14 his hand and looked at Kalpana. $"^Who*'1s it?," she asked feebly.
1640P14 $"^It*'1s the Chief Accountant. ^He wants to_ know whether
1650P14 I can be there for an hour... some urgent work...." $"^Please do
1660P14 go..." $"^But...." $"^Don*'4t worry about me... ^*I won*'4t die
1670P14 so soon. ^Even if I have to_ die early, I*'3ll hold my life till
1680P14 you return...." $"^No, Kalpana, you shouldn*'4t talk like that_...."
1690P14 $"^Please tell him you*'3re coming," she told him impatiently. $^*Dinesh
1700P14 mumbled some reply into the phone. ^Before leaving, he called
1710P14 the maid servant and asked her to_ look after Kalpana. $^It didn*'4t
1720P14 take much time for Dinesh to_ satisfy the auditors. ^While
1730P14 he was in his room, putting back the papers, Lavanya sailed in. ^She
1740P14 was overflowing with exuberance. $"^So she*'1s sinking...," she
1750P14 said gleefully. ^*Dinesh felt uneasy. "^Who told you," he asked.
1760P14 $"^The Chief Accountant, of course... ^And if she croaks that_*'3ll
1770P14 solve our problem.... there won*'4t be any need for a divorce...."
1780P14 $*3^HER*0 words left a bitter taste in his mouth. ^He looked
1790P14 deep into her eyes. ^Behind her beautiful mask, he could now clearly
1800P14 see a selfish and ugly mind-- a mind that_ would have no scruples
1810P14 to_ even suggest murder to_ achieve its end.*#
        **[no. of words = 02018**]

        **[txt. p15**]
0010P15 **<*3Phulwa*0**> $*3^THE*0 Mahatma Gandhi market of our town is
0020P15 no different from any other municipal market. ^You find the same
0030P15 row upon row of stalls selling vegetables, fruits, various kinds
0040P15 of pulses and dry chillies. ^In summer, however, the brilliant
0050P15 heaps of artistically arranged *4narangis will catch your eye.
0060P15 ^We are proud of this fruit of ours-- and justly so-- since it has
0070P15 few peers anywhere in the country. ^Indeed, it has become synonymous
0080P15 with the name of our town. $^What makes our market unique, however,
0090P15 is the presence of the Chattisgadhi women, whom you find
0100P15 near the stalls, holding their wicker baskets. ^In looks, apparel
0110P15 and bearing they are poles apart from your sophisticated city
0120P15 women. ^For one thing, they have no use for a *4choli. ^Toplessness
0130P15 has always been *8de riguer*9 amongst them. ^It is a toplessness
0140P15 with a difference though, since their magnificent bosoms are
0150P15 always demurely hidden behind the *4anchal of their *4saris. ^They
0160P15 are professional 'carriers', these Chattisgadhi women. ^In
0170P15 modern parlance, one could call them shipping and forwarding agents,
0180P15 since they deliver at your doorsteps the tomatoes and brinjals,
0190P15 cabbages and cauliflowers, potatoes and onions, *4narangis
0200P15 and apples, you have bought at the market. ^You don*'4t have
0210P15 to_ go looking for them. ^The moment you have paid the man at the
0220P15 stall, one of them will emerge from somewhere and ask you,
0230P15 "*4boza (load to_ carry) *4babuji?" $^Before the woman has so much
0240P15 as uttered those innocent words, people around you-- the vegetable
0250P15 and fruit vendors, your fellow shoppers, the other Chattisgadhi
0260P15 women-- will have been all eyes and ears. ^You will sense a certain
0270P15 tension in the atmosphere. ^If you decline the offer, the
0280P15 tension will disappear as mysteriously as it crept in and you will instantly
0290P15 cease to_ be of any interest. ^If however, you should conclude
0300P15 that the load is far too heavy and decide to_ let the woman carry
0310P15 the stuff, you will be in for a lot of unwanted publicity. ^In
0320P15 a way, you will have given yourself away. ^The fat *4marwari
0330P15 in front of you, sitting crosslegged behind a mound of *5tur dal*6,
0340P15 will then look askance at you; the fruit vendor at your right will
0350P15 wink at his colleague across the passage dividing the rows of
0360P15 stalls; the vegetable woman will toss her head contemptuously;
0370P15 the *4lungi clad eggseller will let out a distinctly vulgar
0380P15 whistle and the woman*'s *4sahelis will giggle and nudge each
0390P15 other knowingly. ^You mustn*'4t lose your cool. ^Just stand there
0400P15 unconcerned, while the woman is filling her basket and then turn
0410P15 straight homewards with head held high. $^On the way, you might
0420P15 encounter a friend of yours who will first give the woman the
0430P15 glad eye and then raise his eyebrows at you. ^Don*'4t make
0440P15 the mistake of wincing at the mischievous glint in his eyes. ^If
0450P15 the fellow happens to_ be an old fogey, he is likely to_ pull
0460P15 a long face and shake his head in disgust. $^*I am no chicken where
0470P15 women are concerned. ^No sir, not me! ^*Nurse Rosa will testify
0480P15 to that_. ^So also \0Ms. Shirgaonkar and, of course, comrade
0490P15 Kamala, with whom I have spent many a delightful evening
0500P15 unravelling the puzzle of dialectical materialism. ^And of
0510P15 those faceless society ladies, who have rewarded me in ample measure
0520P15 for the pleasure and happiness my stories and novels have
0530P15 brought into their idle lives, I have lost count. "^With a
0540P15 book of yours, I don*'4t have to_ worry about how I am going
0550P15 to_ pass the afternoon. ^No matter what you write, it always
0560P15 puts me in a frivolous mood for the evening party at the club,"
0570P15 is a refrain I never tire of hearing. $^Believe me, not once
0580P15 have I suffered the lewd glances of passersby when I
0590P15 have escorted one of these good ladies on an evening
0600P15 out. ^Far from it, I have noticed only admiration, mixed
0610P15 perhaps with a tinge of envy. ^It is apparently the done
0620P15 thing for a writer to_ satisfy his intellectual cravings by
0630P15 hobnobbing with readers of the fair sex. ^A Chattisgadhi
0640P15 woman is, however, another matter. ^She makes you "come
0650P15 down in the social scale." $^Till yesterday, I had scrupulously
0660P15 adhered to this code. ^If only Mohini had kept her appointment!
0670P15 ^Her administrator husband had after all gone to Buenos
0680P15 Aires-- or was it Lima?-- as leader of an Indian trade delegation.
0690P15 ^But I waited in vain. ^*I fumed and fretted. ^For well
0700P15 over a month I had been leading her gradually and systematically
0710P15 up the ladder of amour. ^*I had used the subtle tricks,
0720P15 which had been the undoing of so many maidens. ^*I rather pride
0730P15 myself on my *7finesse in this matter. ^It would not have been long
0740P15 before Mohini too went their way. ^*I had planned to_ take
0750P15 her that_ day. ^In honour of the occasion, I had banished
0760P15 the last speck of dust from my two-room bachelor flat.
0770P15 ^The bookshelves had been dusted. ^A bouquet of fresh roses
0780P15 awaited her on the small table near the fourposter bed. ^The
0790P15 foam mattress on it was covered with a freshly laundered pink
0800P15 bedsheet. ^And yet, she didn*'4t turn up. $^After a three-hour
0810P15 wait, I reached the end of my tether. ^No woman had made me
0820P15 look so ridiculous. ^*I looked at myself in the full length
0830P15 mirror behind the fourposter. ^My temples were throbbing with passion,
0840P15 my eyes were bloodshot and lips quivering. ^Never before had
0850P15 I felt so compulsive an urge to_ squeeze the bare shoulders
0860P15 of a woman. $^*I locked my flat and came out on the street.
0870P15 ^*I knew my destination. ^The one mile which lay between my flat
0880P15 and the market seemed to_ stretch endlessly. $^*I hardly
0890P15 noticed the fresh vegetables and fruits piled in the
0900P15 stalls and I was oblivious of the crowd of shoppers. ^For
0910P15 I had located, in the group of Chattisgadhi women, an exquisitely
0920P15 proportioned female who literally took my breath away.
0930P15 ^She had the kind of figure an *4apsara from a Khajuraho
0940P15 temple might have envied. "^*God is great," I told myself.
0950P15 "^*Mohini be damned. ^The old hag is no patch on this
0960P15 luscious creature." $^As I stood there staring at her
0970P15 fixedly, she probably guessed what was going on in my
0980P15 mind. $"*4^Boza *4babuji?" $^Those two words sent a shiver
0990P15 through my body. $"*5^Chalo, hamare saath*6," I commanded
1000P15 her. $^Next moment she was following me with her empty
1010P15 wicker basket. ^We had almost reached the outer gate
1020P15 of the market when she asked me, "^And what about the vegetables?"
1030P15 $"^Oh, the vegetables?" ^Though I was dying to_
1040P15 reach home as early as possible, I retraced my steps
1050P15 and bought some *4narangis and apples. ^*I admonished myself.
1060P15 ^It was unbecoming of a veteran hunter like me, after all the
1070P15 prey was now within my grasp! $^Once on the road, I
1080P15 became my usual debonair self-- the gallant, urbane charmer with
1090P15 the polished manners that_ many of my lady loves had found
1100P15 irresistible. $"^What*'1s your name?" I asked her. $"^*Phulwa." $"^Oh,
1110P15 how romantic!" ^She just shrugged her shoulders at this
1120P15 compliment. $"^How long have you been in this town?" ^*I asked
1130P15 her. $"^Four, maybe five years." $"^And how old are you, Phulwa?"
1140P15 ^*I was sure a country lass would not take such a question
1150P15 amiss. $"^No idea *4babuji. ^Around twenty-two, I reckon!"
1160P15 $"^Nonsense! ^You can*'4t be more than eighteen!" $"^Could be!" she
1170P15 answered with complete indifference. $"^You married?" $"^Yes."
1180P15 $"^Where is your master, then?" $"^He has left me." $"^Tut.
1190P15 ^Tut." $^She ignored my expression of sympathy. "^It is all
1200P15 part of life." she exclaimed blandly. ^Her voice was utterly devoid
1210P15 of emotion. ^*I had a feeling she was trying to_ console me!
1220P15 $"^How much do you make in a day?" $^The question seemed to_ touch
1230P15 her on the raw. ^She looked at me with those large, clear eyes of
1240P15 hers and said, "^Hardly enough to_ buy two meals." $"^A
1250P15 couple of *4rupees, perhaps?" $"^We don*'4t get to_ see a *4rupee
1260P15 for days together, *4babuji." ^On reaching home, she asked me,
1270P15 $"^Where shall I put the basket?" $"^Put it over there in the
1280P15 corner." ^As I said that_ I pinched her bare back. ^It was moist
1290P15 with perspiration. $^This is a favourite ruse of mine. ^It
1300P15 has never failed to_ evoke a feigned expression of annoyance
1310P15 from my lady friends. ^But Phulwa remained unresponsive.
1320P15 ^She quietly walked across the room and lowered the basket
1330P15 in a corner. ^*I was furious with her. ^It was the first time
1340P15 a woman had given me the cold shoulder in so unmistakable a fashion.
1350P15 ^*I was certainly not going to_ let a mere country lass
1360P15 treat me like dirt. ^*I quickly ran towards the door
1370P15 and banged it shut. $"^Are you afraid?" ^*I asked her teasingly.
1380P15 $"^Afraid? ^Why should I be afraid, *4babuji?"
1390P15 $"^*I have locked the front door, that_*'1s why." $"^Don*'4t
1400P15 the locked doors ever get unlocked?" $^My God! ^What a thing
1410P15 to_ say! ^Her complete lack of feeling for the niceties made
1420P15 me mad with rage. ^*I looked at her with flaming eyes. ^But
1430P15 she wasn*'4t looking at me. ^Her gaze was riveted on those
1440P15 *4narangis and apples I had bought. ^She was behaving
1450P15 as if I were an impotent man. ^That_ inflamed me all the
1460P15 more. ^*I seized her by her bare shoulders, and shaking them violently,
1470P15 shouted her name. ^That_ jolted her out of her reverie.
1480P15 ^She said meekly, "^Where shall I empty the basket *4babuji?"
1490P15 $"^In that_ cupboard, over there. ^And clean the glass
1500P15 jars in it while I change my clothes," I said sternly.
1510P15 $^*I went into my bedroom. ^*I was now practically swooning
1520P15 with desire. ^As I took off my shoes and got into a *4kurta
1530P15 *4pyjama, I could feel the blood coursing through my veins.
1540P15 ^One more minute and I would crush that_ young, fleshy,
1550P15 female body with my bare hands. ^*I barged into the drawing
1560P15 room... and stopped in my tracks. ^*Phulwa had her back towards
1570P15 me. ^She was so busy gobbling the *4burfi from one of the
1580P15 jars in my cupboard that she was completely lost
1590P15 to the world around her. "^*Phulwa," I screamed. $"*4^Babuji,"
1600P15 she panicked at being caught, red handed. ^She stood
1610P15 there holding the jar, trembling with fear. $"^Aren*'4t you ashamed
1620P15 of stealing like a petty thief?" $"*5^Maaf karana, babuji*6.
1630P15 ^*I was famished. ^*I have not eaten a morsel since yesterday."
1640P15 she said apologetically. $"^So what? ^That_ does not give you the
1650P15 right to_ steal." $"^*I know. ^*I have sinned, but I am helpless.
1660P15 ^People like us are forever hungry. ^That_ is what drives us out
1670P15 of our villages into the big cities." $"^To_ steal,
1680P15 eh?" $^She dropped down on her kness and touched my feet. ^Her *4anchal
1690P15 fell from her shoulders baring her shapely bust but she did not
1700P15 seem to_ notice it. $"*5^Maafi chahti hoon, malik*6," she held
1710P15 fast to my feet. ^*I took both her hands in mine and raised
1720P15 her to her feet. ^The palms of her hands were hard and rough
1730P15 to the touch. ^As I tried to_ drape her exposed bust with her
1740P15 *4anchal my fingers touched its firm contours. ^While my
1750P15 heart missed a beat, it left her completely cold. ^My
1760P15 spirits sank at her utter insensitivity. ^She was still eyeing
1770P15 the jar of *4burfi longingly. $"^*Phulwa," I was surprised
1780P15 at the hoarseness in my voice, "finish up all that_
1790P15 *4burfi first." $"^No no, *4malik, I can*'4t do
1800P15 that_!" $"^Why not? ^Quick, eat it." ^She still hesitated.
1820P15 "^Do you think I am now going to_ eat those half eaten pieces of *4burfi?"
1830P15 $^She understood what I was driving at. ^To that_ simple, unlettered
1840P15 woman, it was perfectly logical that I should want to_ make love
1850P15 to her and yet regard as unclean the pieces of *4burfi she had already
1860P15 half eaten. $"^You really want me to_ eat the *4burfi?" $"^Not only
1870P15 the *4burfi, but all those apples and *4narangis as well!" $^*I spread
1880P15 the fruits before her and stood watching her from the corner of my eyes.*#
        **[no. of words = 02004**]

        **[txt. p16**]
0010P16 **<*3flower of gold*0**> $*3^*Shankari*0 usually lingered in the hospital
0020P16 even after her shift was over; but that_ day she left immediately
0030P16 after she attended to Kamakshi. \0^*Dr Parvathi was puzzled. "^What*'1s
0040P16 the matter? ^What happened?" she asked Meenakshi, the nurse who
0050P16 assisted Shankari in the labour ward. "^The doctor looked agitated
0060P16 and left the hospital in a hurry." $^To Meenakshi it was an unforgettable
0070P16 day; the case was a strange new experience to her. ^She naturally assumed
0080P16 that it was so for \0Dr Shankari also. "^The doctor virtually fought
0090P16 with Yama (the god of death) for the life of that_ baby. ^It was
0100P16 perhaps fatigue that_ made her go home in such haste," she told \0Dr Parvathi.
0120P16 ^The Superintendent sat up. "^*I am told that the baby weighed
0130P16 12 \0lbs!" "^Yes doctor," affirmed Meenakshi. "^Our patient is a rich
0140P16 lady. ^She would not have done even the normal chores of the home. ^She
0150P16 must have spent her days lounging in sofas and swallowing as many tonics
0160P16 and vitamin tablets as she could these past ten months. ^Naturally
0170P16 the baby was overgrown!" she ended. $"^Twelve pounds! ^Wonderful!" exclaimed
0180P16 \0Dr Parvathi. ^Babies born there were generally five to seven
0190P16 and a half pounds. ^Occasionally there was a baby that_ weighed ten or
0200P16 eleven pounds. ^But twelve pounds? ^This baby had set a new record.
0201P16 $"^How
0210P16 \0Dr Shankari struggled for those two lives!" exclaimed Meenakshi.
0220P16 "^*I thought we could save only the mother. ^Every moment the child*'s
0230P16 condition grew worse! ^It became blue. ^But it was \0Dr Shankari*'s firm
0240P16 faith and determination that_ saved both mother and child." $\0^*Dr
0250P16 Parvathi felt proud of Shankari. ^She telephoned Shankari. "^*Shankari?
0260P16 ^*Parvathi here. ^You went home in such a hurry last evening. ^Just
0270P16 now Meenakshi told me why." $^*Shankari*'s hand trembled. ^Her face
0280P16 went pale. ^What does Meenakshi know? ^What could she have told the Superintendent?
0290P16 ^She was getting very flurried and uncomfortable. $\0^*Dr
0300P16 Parvathi continued, "Congratulations! ^With your faith and determination
0310P16 you have won a victory over Death. ^Your confident, able handling
0320P16 of this case is a credit to our institution." $^*Shankari sighed with relief.
0330P16 ^*Parvathi*'s affectionate voice would normally have brought tears
0340P16 of joy to her eyes but just then the face of the man she met at the
0350P16 hospital kept haunting her. $^*Shankari went to her bedroom and bolted
0360P16 the door. ^She opened the lower drawer of her wardrobe, took out a photograph
0370P16 the size of a postcard, threw herself into the easy chair and sat
0380P16 gazing at it. $^It was the picture of a handsome young man of twenty-four,
0390P16 holding a brand new cycle. ^He had a round chubby face with
0391P16 bright eyes.
0400P16 ^His lips were a little thick. ^*Shankari looked at the face very critically.
0410P16 ^She tried to_ read through that_ face. ^He was very handsome
0420P16 indeed but... $^*Shankari tried to_ imagine that_ young man ten years
0430P16 older. ^Once again she recollected the face of Kamakshi*'s husband. ^She
0440P16 tried to_ picture him ten years younger and looked at the face in the
0450P16 photograph. $^Self-confidence, determination, perseverance! ^These were
0460P16 qualities the Superintendent of the nursing home mentioned while congratulating
0470P16 her. ^The young man in the picture had them all. ^He was determined
0480P16 to_ possess her and he was confident he would. ^The thousand ways
0490P16 he used to_ win her over! $^She was her father*'s only daughter, the
0500P16 apple of his eye, a young girl happy and innocent and free like the winged
0510P16 birds of the air because she knew not the wiles of the world. ^She
0520P16 was like a beautiful flower in bloom, and her beauty was a wonder to those
0530P16 who saw her. ^Even now, \0Dr Shankari*'s natural beauty made many
0540P16 a man sigh in despair! $^During her school days her friend Sarasu would
0550P16 tell her, "Shankari, I wish I were born an artist. ^*I would paint
0560P16 a portrait of you-- or if I were a poet, I would compose poems on your
0570P16 beauty. ^You are so lovely!" $^While at school in Tiruchi and later
0580P16 at the Medical College in Madras, many were the young men who had
0590P16 sighed for her hand but in vain. ^How did Murthi alone succeed where so
0600P16 many had failed? ^He was very persevering. ^He was a student then, staying
0610P16 in a college hostel. ^Accidentally, one morning he saw Shankari,
0620P16 and did all he could to_ attract her attention. ^He spent a whole year in
0630P16 his pursuit. $^This was not the normal, average young man chasing a young
0640P16 girl. ^*Murthi was very wealthy and was determined to_ win her. ^He
0650P16 wrote to his parents that hostel food was very bad, and took up a house
0660P16 in the very street Shankari was in, engaged a cook and lived like a
0670P16 lord. $^At the end of the year his perseverance bore fruit. ^*Shankari
0680P16 was the only child of a doting father who was very indulgent to her because
0690P16 she had lost her mother while yet a child. ^He was a poor clerk in
0700P16 the railway. ^And Murthi*'s confidence, self-assurance and power were
0710P16 founded on money. $^But Shankari did not know the secret of Murthi*'s
0720P16 success. ^As a poor man*'s daughter, she had not realised the value
0730P16 of money. ^At that_ tender age Murthi filled her head with sweet dreams
0740P16 of a wonderful future with him. "^Why do you waste money in this manner?"
0750P16 remonstrated Shankari one day. "^This is nothing, Shankari. ^You
0760P16 will understand me only when you come and live with us at our place. ^*I
0770P16 could give you your weight in gold for the mere pleasure of gazing at
0780P16 you." $^*Shankari*'s head would begin to_ swim. $"^*I would get money from
0790P16 mother without my father*'s knowledge and I would get a lot more of
0800P16 it from my uncle without the knowledge of either. ^Uncle has no children
0810P16 and he has set all his hopes on me. ^Father, mother, uncle and all at
0820P16 home are very anxious that I should pass. ^Of course I will. ^*I know
0830P16 the result already." $"^How?" asked Shankari. $"^You will be one of
0840P16 the first to_ congratulate me," he said. $^*Shankari was puzzled. ^He whispered
0850P16 something into her ears. ^He enumerated the accomplishments of
0860P16 one of his tutors who was paid handsomely by his parents. "^To_ get me
0870P16 a pass is his responsibility." $"^Could one who occupied the revered position
0880P16 of teacher behave so?" she wondered. $"^Won*'4t you be proud that
0890P16 I would possess not only riches but also a university degree?" asked
0900P16 Murthi. $^Yes, Murthi passed. ^Not only did he pass out of his college;
0910P16 he passed out of Shankari*'s life as well. $^*Shankari turned the
0920P16 picture over. "^For ever yours, Murthi" was inscribed on it. ^Her eyes
0930P16 blurred with tears. "^Could this be the same man?" thought Shankari
0940P16 and leaned back with a deep sigh. $*<*34*> $*3^IT*0 was dawn. ^The
0941P16 sun*'s rays
0950P16 pierced through the clouds, dispelling gloom and darkness. $^*Shankari
0960P16 looked through her window. ^The garden was in bloom, a riot of colours
0970P16 beneath the smiling skies. $^On such a morning could Shankari sit brooding
0980P16 over bygone days! ^There were no more tears to_ shed. ^She tucked
0990P16 away her thoughts into the recesses of her mind. ^The sunshine came
1000P16 tripping cheerily through the window. ^She greeted the day with a resolve
1010P16 to_ do her part in the scheme of life. ^There was no time to_ brood.
1020P16 ^Life passes by those that_ sit bewailing. ^She would *3live*0 every moment
1030P16 so bountifully given her. ^She was filled with a new zest for life.
1040P16 $^She sat in front of her mirror after a bath and attended to her hairdo
1050P16 and make-up with meticulous care. ^She did everything possible to_ enhance
1060P16 her looks. $^There was once a time when she made herself attractive
1070P16 only for Murthi. ^Now her loveliness became an end in itself, a source
1080P16 of her own pride and joy. ^When with a confident smile she stepped
1090P16 into the wards, the patients felt that the goddess of Beauty herself
1100P16 had come to_ visit them. ^Word went round that \0Dr Shankari had the
1110P16 magic touch of healing. ^She alone knew the secret of her success-- knew
1120P16 it was her radiant looks that_ had this happy effect on her patients.
1130P16 ^She thanked God most humbly for this. ^*His wonderful gift. $^She attended
1140P16 on Kamakshi and her child with the same care and devotion that_ she
1150P16 bestowed on all her other patients. ^But Kamakshi and her mother thought
1160P16 her a godsend **[sic**]. ^They did not know how to_ thank her.
1161P16 ^They spoke
1170P16 only of \0Dr Shankari to anyone who came to_ see Kamakshi. ^There was
1180P16 no one like the doctor. $^*Kamakshi*'s husband who came to_ see her every
1190P16 evening was most anxious to_ meet the doctor once again. ^But he was
1200P16 very much disappointed that he did not see her even once in those four
1210P16 days. $^On the morning of the fifth day Shankari was walking up the
1220P16 stairway leading to Kamakshi*'s room. ^The nurses started tidying up
1230P16 the place when they heard her footsteps. ^Just as she entered the ward,
1240P16 she saw Kamakshi*'s mother pouring something into the ounce glass. ^The
1250P16 moment they saw her, both mother and daughter exchanged glances and looked
1260P16 guilty. ^Wondering, Shankari walked up to the elderly lady and stretched
1270P16 out her hand. "^What is it?" she asked. ^There was silence. $^When
1280P16 she smelt the liquid, annoyance appeared on her face. ^But she spoke
1290P16 very gently, "So, not satisfied with our treatment you give your own
1300P16 medicines!" $"^We usually give this," faltered the mother. $"^Where did
1310P16 you get this from?" asked Shankari. $^Again, silence. ^*Shankari slowly
1320P16 put the bottle and the ounce glass back on the table. $"^Nothing in
1330P16 excess," said Shankari. "^Not even medicine. ^Please take this bottle
1340P16 away. ^These things must not be brought into the hospital." $^*Shankari
1350P16 was very angry. ^When they were being looked after so well in the nursing
1360P16 home, where was the need for this bottle of brandy? ^And after enforcement
1370P16 of prohibition, how dare they bring it in here? ^But there was
1380P16 no use wasting her time talking to women who would not be frank. ^As she
1390P16 was getting ready to_ go, she heard a child*'s voice cry out "Mamma!"
1400P16 ^She turned round to_ find a little girl of five clinging to Kamakshi.
1410P16 ^The child*'s sweet, innocent face made her forget all else. ^She seemed
1420P16 to_ forget that she was the doctor on duty. "^Hello! won*'4t you
1421P16 come
1430P16 here?" she invited the little girl. ^The child looked at her, decided
1440P16 Shankari was quite trustworthy, ran up to her and lowered her head shyly.
1450P16 $^*Shankari took her up in her arms, kissed her and asked, "What*'1s
1460P16 your name?" $"^*Radha," said the child. $"^What a fine name! ^Did you
1470P16 see your little sister? ^How do you like her?" $"^No. ^*I do not want
1480P16 a little sister. ^*I want a little brother," said Radha very emphatically.
1490P16 ^Everyone in the room laughed. $"^Next time you will have a little
1500P16 brother," said the doctor. ^*Radha nodded, wisely satisfied that she
1510P16 would soon have a little brother. $"^Good morning, doctor," came a sweet
1520P16 voice. ^*Shankari kissed the child, gently put her down, and looked
1530P16 up. ^A sophisticated young woman of twenty was standing in front of her.
1540P16 "^My sister-in-law. Rajeswari," said Kamakshi. ^She told the doctor
1550P16 that everyone at home spoke of nothing else but Shankari and was proud
1560P16 and happy to_ have her as their doctor. $^*Shankari suddenly remembered
1570P16 Radha had already taken up ten minutes of her time; she patted the child
1580P16 affectionately and left the room. $^When Shankari reached home, Muniammal
1590P16 served her a simple tasteful lunch. ^*Shankari stretched herself
1600P16 on a sofa and took up a book she had been reading. ^Books were her only
1610P16 hobby. ^To books she turned for advice as if they were her friends.
1620P16 ^But that_ afternoon she could not read. ^When she opened the book she
1630P16 saw only Radha*'s smiling face. ^It was like Murthi smiling. ^The little
1640P16 girl was the very image of her father. $^How many children she met
1650P16 every day! ^But this child! ^Why was she so drawn to her? $^It was a puzzle.
1660P16 ^She had looked up the name of Kamakshi*'s husband in the hospital
1670P16 register.*#
        **[no. of words = 02022**]

        **[txt. p17**]
0010P17 **<*3LOVE ME, LOVE*0**> $*3IT*0 was delicious. ^The
0020P17 desperation in your voice. ^*I hug my knees, savouring the sweetness
0030P17 of your distraction in the upturned corners of my lips. ^Your voice,
0040P17 a month old in my ears, had never been so urgent. ^Always a trifle
0050P17 complacent, a trifle contented. "^Always a trifle complacent,
0060P17 "^*I just wanted to_ speak to you, just wanted to_ hear your voice..."
0070P17 ^Nothing else? ^*I was the impatient one then. ^Impatient of this
0080P17 nameless faceless existence. ^Wanting to_ see you, know you...
0090P17 "^Will you come?" ^*I asked again and again, and you never did.
0100P17 ^Your answering 'Hmmmm' was the most elusive sound I*'d ever heard on
0110P17 this earth. $^And today.... today you were the impatient one.
0120P17 "^*I can*'4t help it... I just can*'4t-- God knows I*'3ve tried--
0130P17 I*3ve got to_ see you. ^No, don*'4t say that_ again-- I *3can*'4t*
0140P17 come to your house. ^Come to Regal-- quarter to eight. ^You*'3ll
0150P17 come...." $^*I rub my cheek against my drawn knees.
0160P17 ^Oh, the delicious desperation of your voice! $^Quarter to eight.
0170P17 ^Quarter to eight? ^*I jumped suddenly, my heart lurching terribly
0180P17 against my ribs. ^That_ damned timepiece. ^It had stopped.
0190P17 ^*I snatched it off the mantlepiece and put it to my ear. ^It ticked
0191P17 away in injured tone. ^*I shook it.
0200P17 ^Could it be? ^Just quarter to six-- two hours still to_ go.... $"^Quarter
0210P17 to eight. ^You*'3ll come...." ^A statement. ^A month has
0220P17 infused confidence in your voice. ^The first time it was so hesitant.
0230P17 ^Tongue-tied you would not answer my 'Hello-hello, 489....,'
0240P17 till puzzled, I cradled the receiver. ^A second time tongue-tied
0250P17 still, then a third time-- "^*I just wanted to_ speak to you, hear your
0260P17 voice... because I like you... ^No I can*'4t tell you my name because
0270P17 I don*'4t know how you*'3ll take it." ^So diffident.
0280P17 $"^You*'3ll come?" ^Was it a question? ^Why? ^Didn*'4t you know
0290P17 I*'1d come? ^For the briefest, starkest, barest moment of love that_
0300P17 *3was*0 love, I*'1d come. ^From the ends of the earth.
0310P17 ^Alone. ^Stark. ^*I*'1d come... $^Because I*'3m the same
0320P17 person who*'2s believed that the moment to_ die is when the flower is in
0330P17 full bloom. ^One moment there, in the ecstatic fulfillment of perfection,
0340P17 the other-- nothing. ^It*'1s the fading I can*'4t bear.
0350P17 $^Because I*'3m the same one who*'2s told Vijay time and again that
0360P17 the day I find love that_ *3is*0 love, I*'3ll go, I*'3ll float free.
0370P17 $^Because it was all pre-ordained. ^That_ day when the mysterious
0380P17 alchemy that_ makes humans, made me. ^That_ day it was ordained.
0390P17 ^That_ love would suck me into death. $^That_ day made me vulnerable
0400P17 . ^So utterly, helplessy vulnerable. ^To any lips that_
0410P17 form the words 'I like you'. ^Two, three, four-- I could love them
0420P17 all, as long as they loved me. ^There is that_ in me which is so bottomless.
0430P17 $^There is that_ in me which is so desperately hungry--
0440P17 to_ be approved, to be_ liked. ^Oh, I love myself. ^It*'1s not that_.
0450P17 ^It*'s just that that_*'1s not enough. ^And I don*'4t always
0460P17 like what I see in the mirror. ^The gnawing still persists in me--
0470P17 the aching void.... like a child eats chalk because of a nameless hunger,
0480P17 so I could devour you and your 'I like you very much'.
0490P17 $*3*^2there was*0 this clawing eternal hunger in me, and Vijay was like
0500P17 a douche of cold water. ^He didn*'4t love me when we married.
0510P17 ^But he had calculated that I would make him a good wife, that he would
0520P17 grow to_ love me and I would grow to_ love him. $^On a fleeting
0530P17 honeymoon he delivered me a homily that_ started with, "This is a contraceptive,"
0540P17 and ended with "... respect and honour my parents."
0550P17 ^*I*'3ve learnt to_ honour his parents and respect contraceptives but
0560P17 there was this spitting, raging fire inside me that_ was hungering for an
0570P17 answering rage in him, only glimpsed in passing, a tiny glow-worm sitting
0580P17 in a corner of his heart.... $^Somewhere a dog barked. ^Sharp,
0590P17 aggressive. ^Chasing the cat under the flower-burdened bougainvillae.
0600P17 ^*I started. ^The time? what was the time? ^Quarter
0610P17 past seven. ^Already? ^And I hadn*'4t dressed yet! ^Oh I*'d
0620P17 bathed and done my hair, but I still had to_ change. ^Crimson chiffon.
0630P17 ^No jewellery. ^Only a single pearl at my throat. $^Into
0640P17 your arms... ^You knew I*'1d come. "you*'3ll come...."
0650P17 ^So sure. ^Into your arms.... are they dark, hairy, long, dangling,
0660P17 strong, short, supple? ^*I do not know. $^Your face-- handsome,
0670P17 indifferent? ^Dark, fair? ^Thickset, delicate? ^Bearded, cleanshaven?
0680P17 ^*I do not know. $^*I do not know your name even. ^*Trilok
0690P17 chandra, Rahul, Karodi Mal or Alok? ^*I do not know. ^*I do not
0700P17 care. $^But your eyes.... those I do know. ^They are liquid eyes.
0710P17 ^Liquid with love. ^And I am lost, lost, lost.... ^The
0720P17 earth is a spinning wheel-- am I on this earth, of this earth? ^A leaf.
0730P17 ^Delicately attached to the tree. ^Spinning. ^Grey green,
0740P17 wantonly. ^Thousands of grey green wantonly spinning leaves. ^Flowers.
0750P17 ^Riotous flame. ^Yellow. ^Recklessly squandering. ^Flinging
0760P17 against a frantic sky. ^A raptured universe, crazily lurching. ^*I
0770P17 do know you. ^Here. ^At this moment. ^This moment for loving-- this
0780P17 moment for dying.... $^*I like you very much. ^From the moment
0790P17 I saw you, I.... $^That_ day I asked Vijay! "^Did you love me
0800P17 the moment you saw me?" $^*Vijay considered. "^You want me
0810P17 to_ speak the truth?" he said. $^*I was stung. "^Of course,"
0820P17 I cried. $^He shook his head. "^*I liked you, but I didn*'4t
0830P17 love you. ^*I wasn*'4t made to_ love that_ way. ^Love, I knew, would
0840P17 come after marriage." $"^And you were perfectly willing to marry
0850P17 without love?" $"^Of course." $"*3YOU*'3LL
0860P17 COME....*0" ^You were right. ^To_ be so sure I*1'd come. ^*I had
0870P17 to_ come. ^*I couldn*'4t have survived this. ^That_ I hadn*'4t redeemed
0880P17 the pledge to myself. ^That_ I*'d lost out-- intuitively I*'d
0881P17 lost out. ^When we
0890P17 married Vijay hadn*'4t loved me. ^We hadn*'4t been united together even
0900P17 though I had believed it with all my heart. ^Only I had been united
0910P17 alone. $^And intime to_ come the pledge I*'d made to myself, love-- at
0920P17 first sight, love-- two stars compulsively seeking each other out in the
0930P17 firmament, love-- two earthly elements uneasy until inextricably intermingled,
0940P17 love-- such as never had been before and never would be again,
0950P17 that_ pledge had drifted away like the palm leaf lamps people reverently
0960P17 set afloat on the Ganga, each an act of faith drifting uselessly, until
0970P17 somewhere, somehow, the spent flame falters and sighs into extinction.
0980P17 $^Now do you understand why I have to_ come to you? ^To_ redeem a
0990P17 pledge. ^From the moment I set my eyes on you.... ^The day you
1000P17 said those words I knew. ^*I knew that one day I*'1d come. ^One
1010P17 day, I*'1d float free, ^Fulfilled. ^Redeemed. $^You know
1020P17 its funny-- the first day you rang up I told Vijay of your call.
1030P17 ^*I needn*'4t have, but I told him. ^Every word. "^*I just wanted to_
1040P17 speak to you, hear your voice, because I like you very much. ^His eyes
1050P17 hooded. ^Shutters coming down, one by one. ^Fast. ^Hiding. ^Fear?
1060P17 ^Envy? ^What had I wanted? ^What had I expected? $^It could
1070P17 have alienated. ^The telling. ^It didn*4t. ^It cemented. ^It*'1s
1080P17 funny, isn*'4t it? ^That_ night he was more tender, more warm.
1090P17 ^His voice took on a dreamy, faraway quality such as Vijay*'s voice seldom
1100P17 does take on. $"*3^Do you remember.....*0" $^We had quarrelled.
1110P17 ^One of those brief, quick, passionate quarrels we have at
1120P17 times. ^We were walking along the beach, away from the crowd of picknickers
1130P17 we had come with. ^He stooped. ^Straightened. ^Pressed
1140P17 a twisted, broken sea-shell into my palm. ^A peace offering.
1150P17 ^Suddenly joy was like a swift, April shower upon us. ^We were refreshed,
1160P17 born anew. $"*3^Do you remember....*0" $^He was depressed.
1170P17 ^A nameless sorrowing. ^Something in the office? ^Something in the
1180P17 home? ^Just something humans are born with. ^We took a boat. ^*I rowed
1190P17 him out. ^Far. ^Into the heart of the setting sun. ^The glow licked
1200P17 at us. ^He was soothed. $"*3^Do you remember....*0" $^*I
1210P17 was heartbroken. ^Sobbing. ^Tears lashing out, tempestuous in unseemly
1220P17 rage. ^*I had received a rejection slip. ^He swathed me in
1230P17 a new *4sari. ^Pink. ^Sheer chiffon. ^Picked me up on the road.
1240P17 ^Carried me in his arms. "^Someone will see...." "^Let them."
1250P17 ^*I was laughing like a babe. $"*3^Do you remember....*0"
1260P17 $^Yes! ^Oh yes, I remember. ^*I*'d almost forgotten there had been
1270P17 such joy in our marriage. $^Inside me the raging, spitting fire had
1280P17 died down, but in his heart the glow-worm was still alight. $^Between
1290P17 us too often joy is clouded. ^By my thoughts. ^The irremediable
1300P17 regret it wasn*'4t that_ springtide love of first sight. ^That_
1310P17 day too it had clouded. ^Love-spent, he had turned his back. ^In
1320P17 two minutes flat he was snoring. ^*I lay awake, thinking....
1330P17 $^What is marriage? ^Why marriage? ^What do I want from marriage?
1340P17 ^Marriage they say is no longer made in heaven. ^It*'1s done for,
1350P17 finished. ^An outmoded relic of an outmoded era. ^Family is out.
1360P17 ^The commune is in, where you love and kiss and copulate as the whims
1370P17 of the moment dictate. ^But inside me whims don*'4t satisfy.
1380P17 ^Not fully. ^Inside me there is a more compulsive need. ^To_ fuse. ^For
1381P17 ever. ^*I need marriage for the same reason men need
1390P17 a God-- something to_ fuse with. $^Fusion and fisson-- they are the
1400P17 systole and diastole of life. ^Maybe when I have united, when I
1410P17 have fused, all the fissiparous tendencies will set to_ work. ^*I*'3ll
1420P17 want to_ break, separate. ^But now-- now that I am individual, separate,
1430P17 alone, so very alone, there is this compulsion in me to_ unite with something,
1440P17 someone, anything, anyone. ^Permanently, forever.
1450P17 ^And not having a God here on this earth I must perforce seek fusion
1460P17 with a human. ^One human-- I can*'4t very well throw away violin after
1470P17 violin just because my fingers will not pluck out that_ one perfect soul
1480P17 satisfying note, can I? $^And maybe it*'1s all an impossibility
1490P17 anyway-- this fusion business-- a fond illusion merely. ^Maybe there is
1500P17 that_ inside me, an ultimate loneliness which cannot be surrendered here
1510P17 on this earth, which I must return intact to my maker, which,
1511P17 once squandered, I must but return empty handed.
1520P17 $^Maybe there is this inbuilt holding back, that_ precludes a fusion here
1530P17 on this earth. ^But I am impatient. ^*I cannot wait for life after
1540P17 death. $^*I dare not wait, dare not take the chance. ^Suppose there isn*'4t
1550P17 any? ^*I want it. ^Here. ^On this earth. ^Fusion. ^Love. ^And
1560P17 so must I go on, compulsively seeking. $^And the soul knows, always
1570P17 knows when the fusion is coital deep or legal paper deep only, knows
1580P17 when love is complete, whole, a thing of beauty, a joy forever... ^This
1590P17 I have believed. $^And yet... yet... ^With Vijay. ^*I have not
1600P17 known that_ complete thing. ^That_ joy forever. ^Always it was
1610P17 a making and breaking, a continuous , conscious putting together, bit
1620P17 by bit. $^Moments of happiness are such fleeting things. ^Maybe
1630P17 they always are. ^Happiness-- maybe it*'1s just the burden of a big word
1640P17 on human shoulders ill-shaped to_ bear it. ^Maybe.... $^*Vijay always
1650P17 says, "if you can love me just for ten minutes a day. ^*I*'3ll be
1660P17 happy." $"^Don*'4t you want more?" $^Always he shakes his
1670P17 head. $^But I want more. ^More, more, more! ^*God, there*'2s
1680P17 got to_ be more. ^This isn*'4t enough. ^Love me, love. ^*God, what
1690P17 an unquenchable thirst is this in me! $^That_ is why I had known.
1700P17 ^Even on that_ first day I had known that I would come to you.
1710P17 ^One day. ^One day there would be nothing to_ hold me back. $^What could
1720P17 hold me back....? ^The fact that when I was three, grown ups taught
1730P17 me how to_ be scared of the dark and the unknown? ^The fact that when
1740P17 I was twelve, my mother gave me chest bands to_ wear and told me I
1750P17 mustn*'4t let a male so much as touch me? ^The fact that every day,
1760P17 step by step, the world taught me to_ be mortally afraid of failure?*#
        **[no. of words = 02018**]

        **[txt. p18**]
0030P18 **<*3The Door Watcher*0**>
0040P18 $*3^Friday*0 night he sat for hours on the sea-front, steeped in despair.
0050P18 ^If he closed his eyes, he could see them dredging out his corpse
0060P18 from the sea. ^Even in their sea-battered state, the mortal remains
0070P18 of Vikram *(0R.*) Rao had a debonair urbanity about them. $^His pimples,
0080P18 for once had miraculously vanished. ^A scornful yet forgiving smile
0090P18 played about his lips. ^There was his mother sobbing brokenly:
0100P18 desperately sorry for all the times she had got after him. ^And Meeta?
0110P18 ^*Meeta when informed about his tragic suicide had fallen in a dead
0120P18 faint. ^Doctors shook their heads sadly. ^No one could tell if
0130P18 she*'1d recover. $^On Saturday night he sought catharsis in lying awake
0140P18 till 1 \0p.m., composing a twenty-line verse elegy. ^Come
0150P18 Sunday morning all he could remember of that_ painful effort was *3lead
0160P18 weight, dead weight, call the vultures, the carrion wait, something
0170P18 something something.*0 ^It did not matter, because by then he had already
0180P18 determined the course of action he*'1d take. $^He read the letter
0190P18 again. $"*3^Dear \0Mr Naresh Kumar Pai, $Are you aware of what
0200P18 goes on behind the closed doors of your flat while you are slogging
0210P18 away in office? ^Your wife has secret rendezvouses with a male who
0220P18 comes in a white Ambassador \0MRX 3319. ^He comes after you leave
0230P18 and leaves before you are expected home. ^Someday, why don*'4t you come
0240P18 home earlier and catch them redhanded*0 in *3BED?*0 $*3Your Friend.*0
0250P18 $^That_ was a great touch, that_ bit about "behind the closed doors
0260P18 of your flat". ^Obviously he had unsuspected talents as a writer of
0270P18 anonymous letters. ^He pondered for a few minutes on the feasibility
0280P18 of adding a dramatic skull and cross-bones and signing it "Black
0290P18 Shadow" instead of the tame "Your Friend". ^He decided against
0300P18 it. ^It would not do to_ have Naresh Kumar Pai treating the letter
0310P18 as a joke. ^And he was dumb enough to_ do just that_. $^He scrutinised
0320P18 his handwriting again. ^It didn*'4t look much like his usual scrawl.
0330P18 ^The lines flowed straight instead of crawling upwards as they usually
0340P18 did. ^His father said it showed ambition if your handwriting slanted
0350P18 upwards. ^Good. ^He needed all the ambition he could lay his hands
0360P18 on to_ reach the very top. ^One of these days he was going to_ buy up
0370P18 the controlling shares of the steel firm *(0N. K.*) Pai worked for and
0380P18 hound him to penury and subsequent suicide. ^It was his master plan
0390P18 for getting Meeta. $"^You had better start being polite to me fromnow,
0400P18 Pai," he told the envelope between licks. ^Then he remembered that
0410P18 Naresh and he were not sworn enemies any more. ^They were, in fact,
0420P18 allies against the common enemy-- Jelly Belly. $^He addressed the
0430P18 envelope, carefully writing *3confidential*0 on top. ^Then he added
0440P18 *3top secret and privateO under it, just to_ be on the safe side. ^If
0450P18 Meeta was anything like his prying mother, the missive would never
0451P18 reach its destination unprotected by the warning.
0460P18 $"*4^*Ma, have you a...." he stopped himself just in time. ^Ask
0470P18 for a stamp and all the questions in hell would come hurtling down on his
0480P18 defenceless head. ^Who? ^What? ^When? ^How? ^Women! ^Hassles... that_
0490P18 was all they were good for. ^Catch him, Vikram *(R.*) Rao, ever getting
0500P18 married. ^Born naggers when they were not outright hypocrites.
0510P18 ^His mother-- nag nag nag. ^*Vikram was strong minded. ^He could
0520P18 tune her out at will. ^But his father-- the poor coot was a nervous wreck,
0530P18 burrowing into his work as if there was nothing else in the world.
0540P18 ^Then that_ Meeta bitch. ^Betraying Vikram and her husband both
0550P18 in one shot. ^Cuckolding them. ^He snorted to_ cover up for the twinge
0560P18 of pain that_ shot through him. ^He*'1d show her. ^Just you wait.
0570P18 ^He*'1d show her. $^He shoved the envelope in the front pocket
0580P18 of his jeans. "^*Ma, I am going down for a minute," he shouted, slamming
0590P18 the door shut before the fusillade of questions could catch up with
0600P18 him. $*3^On*0 the landing he kept his eyes haughtily averted from
0610P18 The Door, while nobly resisting the impulse to_ aim a kick at it.
0611P18 ^For six whole months of his life the opening and closing
0620P18 of this door had played a stellar role in his happiness. $^Day after
0630P18 day, he had sat there like a bloody fool, his eyes glued to
0640P18 the door. $^His imagination had pierced it in a hundred
0650P18 places. ^Now she was waking up in that_ frilly gown thing she wore in
0660P18 the mornings. ^It never failed to_ put a wobble in his knees. ^Now she
0670P18 was in front of her dressing table running a brush through that_ dark
0680P18 mane of hair which streamed behind her when she walked. ^Now she was
0690P18 stretched out on the sofa languorously, reading a magazine. $^His
0700P18 remarkable \0X-ray vision-- lucky he was born with one-- followed her
0710P18 every move behind the door. ^Once, but only once, it had reached her
0720P18 when she was taking a bath. ^It left Vikram quite shaken up for days.
0730P18 ^So beautiful she was in the altogether, even from the back. $^Sometimes
0740P18 the door opened, jolting him out of his \0X-ray visions. ^And
0750P18 Meeta in person came out to_ say no to a salesman, or to select vegetables
0760P18 from the vendor. ^How Vikram longed to be a bright purple
0770P18 brinjal then... just to_ feel her fingers glide over his skin... Jeeeeeze!
0780P18 ^She was just too much! $^And never more beautiful than when
0790P18 she, noticing him in his room, threw that_ melting chocolate smile across.
0800P18 ^It crossed the landing in a wide parabola and smote him in that_
0810P18 particular spot on his chest which went *3ping*0. ^The room suddenly
0820P18 brightened up. ^Even that_ beat-up old poster of Muhammed Ali forgot
0830P18 to_ look menacing and smiled a beautiful smile. ^*Vikram got this
0840P18 instant urge to_ dash out and climb the Everest and bring her a white
0850P18 rose from the very top. ^Well... if a white rose chose not to_ grow there
0860P18 a snowflake then, or a yeti*'s tooth. ^Anything. $*3^For*0 six months
0870P18 he had carried Meeta*'s invisible presence everywhere he went.
0880P18 ^She smiled at him when he topped the class in English Grammar. ^She
0890P18 averted her eyes when he shared a cigarette with Duffy behind the
0900P18 school wall. ^Every time his mother started off on a tangent, Meeta*'s
0910P18 warning glance kept him from getting entangled in a hot argument.
0920P18 ^Admiration kindled in her eyes for his about-to-ripple biceps
0930P18 when he picked up the bullworker every morning. $^He hadn*'4t cared
0940P18 a hoot when the gang dropped him cold. ^All they wanted to_ do was
0950P18 to_ hang around near the park and ogle girls. ^He was too busy watching
0960P18 Meeta*'s door for childish pastimes like that_. ^Besides, he was in
0970P18 love. ^And if ever a man was faithful to his woman, he was. ^To
0971P18 Meeta. ^Not once did he look up at the balcony of
0980P18 Hari Nivas where Kamala of the fried-eggs-boobs fame hung around giving
0990P18 him the glad-eye. ^Not once. $^Every time he sat down to_ study
1000P18 a new scenario featuring him, Meeta sneaked into his mind. ^She, opening
1010P18 the door: "^It*'1s you, Viks! ^Come in. ^*I have been thinking
1020P18 of you the whole day". ^She always called him Viks breathily in his
1030P18 scenarios. ^Never Vicky. ^Never never Vikraaam, like his
1040P18 mother*'s typical battle-cry..... ^He striding in authoritatively
1050P18 and handing her the single orchid which was worth a small fortune and
1060P18 that_ one litre bottle of perfume he had picked up on his last trip to
1070P18 Paris... $^But somehow his imagination always boggled and gave up when
1080P18 it was time for him to_ take her in his arms masterfully and make passionate
1090P18 love to her. ^He could look at a nude and zapppp... there he was
1100P18 with her on the tiger skin couch or wherever. ^He had this marvellous
1110P18 virility that_ left those dames panting for more. ^The more the merrier.
1120P18 ^Any girl, any time. ^*Vikram *(oR.*) Rao-- they didn*'4t call him
1130P18 stud bull for nothing. ^Expect when it came to Meeta. ^She was
1140P18 special. ^One couldn*'4t treat her the way one would an ordinary dame.
1150P18 ^She was innocent, untouched. ^Like a fresh white flower. $^All
1160P18 right. ^So she was married, sharried and all the rest of it. ^But
1170P18 all married folks didn*'4t have to_ have sex? ^Besides Meeta hadn*'4t
1180P18 ever had a baby even. ^Didn*'4t that_ prove that she knew nothing
1190P18 about that_ stuff? ^Someday he, Vikram, would gently teach her all
1200P18 about it. ^It was destined. ^Mean-while if that_ bastard Naresh Kumar
1210P18 laid a finger on her body..... "^*I*'3ll kill him. I*'3ll kill
1220P18 him!" $"^Kill whom dear?" said his mother from the back. ^That_ was
1230P18 another damn thing he hated about his mother. ^Who did she think she
1240P18 was? ^*Chief Apache Softfoot or someting? ^Sneaking up on a man like
1250P18 that_. $"^Nothing," he mumbled into his badly mauled pillow. ^The
1260P18 pillow was the most versatile of its kind in the world. ^It alternated
1270P18 rapidly between playing Meeta and being snuggled up to and playing
1280P18 Naresh Kumar Pai and being vigorously pummelled. ^It suffered the
1290P18 biggest indentity crisis since Jekyll and Hyde. $^Now he dug his fist
1300P18 into the pillow. ^It was all so blasted unfair. ^Why did Naresh
1310P18 have to_ have such a bushy moustache? ^His own as of date was a soft
1320P18 stringy affair in spite of all those secret ministrations with his father*'s
1330P18 razor. ^Not one pimple not one crater on Naresh*'s face. ^And
1340P18 all his teeth were so criminally even. $"^*I bet Naresh Kumar Pai
1350P18 is never at a loss for words when he is face to face with Meeta," he
1360P18 told the pillow bitterly. ^Once his mother had asked him to_ borrow two
1370P18 eggs from \0Mrs. Pai. ^The chance of talking to her at close quarters
1380P18 fought it out with the sheer indignity of borrowing eggs. ^Eggs!
1390P18 ^But the former won by several points and Vikram found his finger trembling
1400P18 as he rang the bell. $^The door opened but the greatest lover
1410P18 boy of them all just stood and stared, getting redder by the minute.
1420P18 ^She smiled and she smiled. ^Then tired of waiting for him to_
1421P18 speak, she said, "Yes, Vikram, is there anything
1430P18 you want?" $^A million fantastic answers sped through
1440P18 his brain but he mumbled something about his mother wanting a couple of
1450P18 eggs and came back with two of them in his hands and a terrible sense of
1460P18 failure in his heart. ^Someday he was going to_ tell her all about it.
1470P18 ^His silent love. $^His most cherished memory was of course
1480P18 of the day the lift broke down. ^For 45 and three quarters of a
1490P18 minute he had hung about in the compound making conversation with the
1500P18 watchman with his eyes glued to the road. ^She had gone out shopping
1510P18 and was due back any second. ^She came back laden with parcels
1520P18 which she handed over to him with a smile. ^The climb up the dimly lit
1530P18 staircase with its stale smell had encompassed the most exciting minutes
1540P18 of his life. $^He wished the parcels had weighed a few hundred tons.
1550P18 ^He would carry them aloft like helium-filled balloons. ^He
1560P18 wished the staircase went on and on and both of them lived on the six hundred
1570P18 and forty-fourth floor (preferably in the same flat.) ^He wished
1580P18 she would go on talking and never mind the subject. ^Even if she sopke
1590P18 about recipes they*'1d become as interesting as a breath taking thriller.
1600P18 $^And then like a star-spangled climax had come the moment on
1610P18 the landing. ^In front of his old pal, The Door. ^The parcels changed
1620P18 hands and her hand brushed his. ^A fleeting touch.... and a score
1630P18 of firebrigades, clanging for all they were worth charged up his spine
1640P18 and through his veins and arteries. $^He had been blind. ^A bloody
1650P18 fool to_ boot. ^Like her dumb husband Naresh. ^He had known of
1660P18 this white Ambi bloke for a long time. ^The guy came almost every
1670P18 day. ^And only when the husband was not around. ^A cousin, thought
1680P18 Vikram the inveterate door-watcher.*#
        **[no. of words = 02010**]